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It's So Rare For A Woman To Actually Admit This
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- čas přidán 2. 08. 2024
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Validating her emotions is enabling her personality disorders.
Actually this is a very self centered western attitude, I’m living in Japan and there are a lot of genuinely nice guys here and I’d venture to say it’s similar in some other Asian countries I’ve visited. They may have to change their personality to date these weird western women.
*_"eventually..."_* Top kek
Honest answer: 15-20 years ago, I was Mr. Nice Guy. Not anymore. I was legit: Writing poems, buying small gifts, rose petals in the bed sheets. Listening, cooperating. By complete accident (long story, I actually felt bad at the time and found out in hindsight those were "good moves"), I mislead this girl into thinking I was a bit more of an asshole than I was. And my only CAD aspects was turning her on and maintaining my self-control. Which ironically, wasn't really: I was simply more focused on her pleasure.
But for more context: Not a girlfriend before, always listening to everyone's problems... heck, I bought a box of chocolates to a girl in my karate class. I was a quirky guy: Introverted thinking and extroverted intuition to the max.
That positive, supporting, loving, enthusiast guy is gone forever. Corrupted. Discarded. All that is left is painful memories and scorn. And it wasn't so much that the best within' me was rejected, but realizing what they would settle for. So Mr. Nice Guy up until 23, 2 years of an unhealthy asshole lifestyle which had success (at least compared to Mr. Nice Guy), and 12 years of disgusted celibacy.
*"Eventually..."* Eff off, I am not trading my best for your worst.
@@sethaldrich6902 hmm, im japanese i will tell u that Japan is 'polite' but also very fake, even more than Americans.
It is important to be nice until someone takes advantage or abuses it - then it is important to stand up for yourself and demonstrate that you will not accept that behaviour.
Yeah by leaving
Yes sir I was there recently 😢😢😢😢😢 I had to walk away like always😢😢😢😢😢
Silent treatment
@@Helminthis if you made a kid together, just leaving means you're leaving your kid behind as well. Now you've created a new generation of unstable , insecure individuals
You right. If respect is not a option, take courage and leave!
As the saying goes,If she doesn't want me in her Prime,why should I want here,in her decline?.
You won't but enough petty, lonely AFCs will be happy to take anything: even a frustrated, narcissistic chick in decline like "everything is better than being alone".
@@arminxvs3372 ,that's how they'll rationalise it,and,justify it to themselves,one itus,if they don't hang on to the one woman interested in them,they won't get another.No Thanks.
@@bluemax1990 Pettyful existence but they are unfortunateoy too many guys longing for ANY attention. Such a shame.
Men are at their prime around 30-40. Girls of your age doesn't want you because you're way too young.
M o b
I'm a short guy, if I try to be cocky/prick people just assume I have a napoleon complex and am compensating.
Yes we do assume this!
Just do it anyway mate.
do you have a horse? :)
If you are playing nice all the time, they assume you are fearful all the time. And especially when you are short, you have to show the woman, that you are capable to protect. With a tall guy , this it is assumed that they are capable. By the way - regarding Napoleon, it worked very well with the women. And why do you think with him, it was a complex? Why shouldn't he have been strong and aggressive by nature, just because he was short?
I've been married for 39 years so far, and I can tell you this, no woman is going to respect you, let alone desire you, if you are just a "nice guy." You MUST maintain your confidence and masculinity and stand on your principles. Yes, do whatever you can to make your spouse satisfied in the relationship, serve her, and love her, but do not become an obediant puppy or slave.. Do not subvert your beliefs, morals, or principles just to please her because in the long term, your wife will lose all respect and desire for you. I don't really like the term to be a "prick" and instead say it's just reasonable for both partners to serve each other and have demands on each other that will strengthen the relationship. You try to help make her a better person while she tries to help make you a better person. You both grow together.
In what kind of way does she help you to become a better male - compared to the rest of the average males life, where one has to be stoic and polite confronted by pure humiliation, just to $urvive? I dont see a benefit of having an additional job.
Relationships dont benefit males in any shape or form anymore. I have to be thankful to the world just to have _some_ girlfriend. Thats pathetic.
@dorn885 I'll give you an example. When I got out of the military, I told my wife I was dreading both looking for a J.O.B. and having someone tell me when I had to be at work, when I could take lunch or vacation, when I could leave, and what to wear, etc. I had my fill of following orders and doing what I was told. So, my wife encouraged me to start my own business, which I did. I'm so grateful for her encouragement. She has encouraged me in every facit and stage of my life.
But the best part of being married, in my opinion, is the relationship you have with your children and grandchildren. There is no relationship as pure and rewarding.
@@ryanwelch1321 so she’s a baby maker that gave you an incredibly creative and complex idea “start a business”.
Juice ain’t worth the squeeze. Hope you don’t get sick or lose your job.
Throw her away and get a younger model
@@joemahma3017 Well, that might just be the stupidest thing I have ever read. You distilled 39 years of marriage to that? What a moronic thing to think.
One thing I've come to realize as an adult: as a man, being "nice" and "polite" is not as important as being "good" and standing up for what is right and what you believe in. I don't care as much if you like me as much as I do that you respect me. Not FEAR, but respect.
If she doesnt see a *good* deal, its her problem. Let her have bad deals.
The adjective "nice" to describe someone is just a subjective epithet, and therefore pretty meaningless.
Though basic politeness/a show of good manners or common decency in general, when interacting with others, regardless of their role (men/women, friends, family members, dates, random strangers) *are,* again, imo, fundamental elements of integrity.
To me, the latter means moving through life with traits of personal honourability, like courage, honesty, and self-respect, which go hand-in-hand with "being good" and "standing up for what is right and what you believe in".
There's one thing that can't be forced, coerced, or expected by default: Respect (which too many people confuse with common decency or behaving politely), bc it has to be earned first; and if you, in all objectivity, have gone and done so, *anyone* who deliberately violates it, eg, (intimate) betrayal, squandering your friendship by repeatedly acting with disregard/disrespect, or even in an ill-faith manner:
Said courage, self-respect, and honesty, ie, integrity, will have you covered, and extract you from further toxicity (but also without the unnecessary lag, hardship, or looking back in doubt, which is a frequent side-effect if you're in lack of the aforementioned, likely bc you're just such a 'nice' person)...
@@dorn885
It's not a superficial matter of "seeing" it (straight away). And if she's had enough "bad deals" it will only cloud her judgment even more.
Some of you have serious problems and a great many are as insightful as a stone brick, devoid of the slightest presence of reasonable thought. I've seen more "confession through projection" in this video's comment section than I usually do in a week on YT...
PS: What, you honestly think men are the only sex who deal or have dealt with based dates, who act one way and treat you to a figurative kick in the stomach a little later on? Puh-leaze... the number of dildos here is a blip on the screen compared to guys that turned out to be married, slap-happy, sponges, or 'just' skirt chasers (I could go on, but I have better things to do on Friday night, like painting my toenails!)...
At least I don't regard the planetary male demographic as a universal entity, whining and dumping on each and every one of them, just bc of some bad experiences in the past. Grow the F. up, and while you're at it, grow a pair. Have a terrific day, buh bye.
@@Faladaena So essentially: Forget (modern) women. :)
Simple. If she rejects you, you withdraw any benefits you would've given her for being with you (tangible or otherwise)
Just goes to show women don't know what they want. What a crazy mindset to have.
No, they do you just don't understand. fake nice is not nice as arrogant jerk is not the same as strong confident. Women what a nice guy that is masculine know how to stand up for themselves looks out protects the people they care about all while being a polite respectables person that can take charge. Some of you men go to the 2 extremes minus the part they want. You turn nice guy into weck no sense of self people pleaser to the other extreme hey let's be an A hole because women didn't like Weck no personality..
They know what they want, They just are greedy and want everything to themselves. They have sex with the good looking taller guys who are rude and disrespectful because they don't have to be nice, But after they start to hit the biological clock they start to decline in looks and they have to settle because that's life. Life is about people settling.
@@ApexAL sometimes.
Yes, but men are often the same. They in the beginning we think we want the gorgeous, passionate, sexy girl - and in the end we want a stay at home mother who brings peace to our life and is loyal. And we don't care that she is not that hot, when she is 47 years old.
One of the biggest issues with this is that women assume that if you are nice without having a reason not to be that you are a pushover in general!!!! When in reality you might actually be a man with huge balls who doesn’t intend to exercise the fact that he has big balls until he needs to. It seems women want a man who shows he has big balls without showing it too much. You can never win
Exactly what I was thinking! Well said
Women always have wanted bad guys, but they used to control that instinct (because yeah, it's an instinct) because they matured and settled at a very young age compared to nowadays. Nowadays, with this inversion of values, promiscuity is good and empowering, even cheating on your boyfriend or husband is "good", even for him, apparently... So there they are now, at their 40's, 50's, even 60's, chasing the butterflies by some chad. Now, all that stupid feeling of teenage attraction for bad boys lasts forever, and those very same modern women dare to talk about "Peter Pan syndrome" regarding men. And all that, while trashing men constantly, everywhere, nonstop.
In my country we have got a saying: "Piensa el ladrón, que todos son de su condición". Which translated would be: the thief thinks that everybody are thieves.
Modern women don't trust good men because modern women are serial cheaters and extremely promiscuous, and besides, they've been told that men are sht and they like to believe that lie, that way they can justify all their toxicity.
All of this is manufactured, designed, to destroy our society. The powers behind all this madness are evil, but not stupid.
THIS IS THE PERFECT PERCEPTION OF WHATS GOING ON! ALEX, IF YOU STILL HAVE ANY BALLS LEFT, YOU WILL PIN THIS COMMENT! (but i wont hold my breath)
I agree. Good men who were not "alphas" got married in the past. It wasn't that hard. Women weren't so fussy and entitled in the past.
Women want a nice guy I was almost waiting for a laugh track moment lol
women want both, and it depends on their mood which one they want and for how long! Thats why men are expected to read their minds! They want to be a little girl again, where mom & dad hand them everything they want without having to ask or work for it! The BF becomes the surrogate parent!
The problem with nice guys being more tough is that in modern society that sort of behaviour can very easily be punished very severely if you act like a man with the wrong woman. Or if you act like a nice guy with the wrong woman too, but they generally don't realize that until it is too late. That, more than anything, is what keeps the nice guys being nice. So telling them to find their inner man isn't going to help much, because their inner man could get their lives wrecked.
Which is very sad.
There is a very clear difference between a nice guy being more tough, and a guy so "tough" to the point of literally being criminal.
Knowing how to differentiate on a case-by-case basis is important to avoid convicting innocent men, men who are not criminals.
After all, masculinity is healthy, just as femininity is healthy.
we see it all the time! People who defend themselves are punished MORE severely than the perpetrators of the crime!
Let's clear this once and for all, if you're too nice or fall under the "nice doing all the right things", she will always try to look for flaws as this is not playing on her instincts (not attractive). If you are a though guy who says what he has to say, doesn't apologize for his opinions, straight forward, confident, kinda good looking (it helps), she will find excuses for you, cuz you will be attractive
@Quincy you're on point, it's the masculine energy that is lacking these days due to comfort, masculinity is competitive, straight forward, and anything but nice...if a guy feels that he is too nice and that it's good, that means they aren't experienced enough in life, and didn't see the dark side that needs strong men to check.
She still b!tches that he treats her poorly. Women are never happy and always want change and drama in their life. You have to be nice guy a portion of the time and spike their emotions from time to time and create some tension but has to be done in a non-disrespectful yet fun way. As the girl ages she changes and becomes more confident she wants the bad boy less. It is a constant balancing act for the males. PITA is what it is and all this work and money spent for what.
Competent, capable, kindness.
@Quincy loads of bs. I know plenty of women who are thing for men who treat everyone well and who avoid even talking with these "confident and self-assured men".
@@TheTariqibnziyad Objectively false. According to studies more testosterone the men have the more fair and honorable they are. While ironically men with low T usually act like highly competitive and dishonest.
this dude explains things so good
“So well”
Good women like articulate educated men as well.
@@UbiDoobyBanooby lol
@@UbiDoobyBanooby you just had to nag me, didnt you? I hope it boosted your ego..
@@arthurmorgan2906 nope just trying to help.
@@UbiDoobyBanooby Dont lie! We arent as stoopid as you ar! Hasnt the grammer nazi thing ben a meem for ages know? You must bee the grammer hitler then? ( I made lots of spelling mistakes so you can take joy in correcting them! knock yourself out, dude). Seriously, though, correcting him the way you did is NOT helpful. You could have said: i get what you mean, you are right! oh by the way, 'so well' would be a better way to say it. hope you dont mind me pointing this out etc if you had corrected him THAT way, most people would have understood it as trying to help. but they way you actually did it makes you seem like a douche! REMEMBER Adolph . . .Im just trying to help! LOL
Women got jabbed by Bill Gates & Fauci they really do like the bad guys 😂
You torn down internet!
haha, that's a different kind of "prick" 😂
haha, that's a different kind of "prick" 😂
@@magus1724 But they STILL liked it and want MORE! LOL
How you start the relationship is how you're expected to maintain the relationship. If you treat it like a phase where you do fun stuff early on then mundane later, you're gonna have a problem. That's not how women are hardwired even if it makes sense to us that we'll settle into something more comfortable.
naturally the relationship is a 24/7 gamestop when you don’t take the relationship seriously putting zero money and effort into it
Exactly. Keep your frame. Stay yourself.
Yes an no just because you won someone don't mean you stop having any quality fun time but yes as you settle the focus changes you are going to be more serious planning the future. spending the mundane parts of life as while as still dating once in a while
I tend to agree with you, CS X. I'm not interested in amping up the front end of the relationship. I'd honestly rather just be chill from the start. A girlfriend once told me I put in the least effort of any man she's ever been with. We dated on and off for eight years, so even though she complained about it, it clearly wasn't a deal breaker. So why bother going out of your way to razzle-dazzle a woman? Seems unnecessary, plus if you treat a woman like rockstar, then she'll treat you like a fan.
@@Kashban Exactly! first thing my girl accused me of is 'changing'! I changed, not her! Its a NO win game for most of us, including Alexander!
They are divorcing because they ALWAYS want the dating phase and are bored of the relationship phase. Most women want both conflicting phases and they expect the male to figure out what phase they want on any given day. Most guys once a ring is on go into cruise relationship phase mode and she gets fickle over time.
Scott, that’s why you stay in “cruise relationship phase mode” from the very beginning. Being with me is the prize. If she isn’t smart enough to figure that out, she can get gone.
I found something interesting during my observation: You feel comfortable to let your cocky and suave side to easily come out WHEN YOU KNOW that the girl you're seeing is very attracted to you from the beginning. When you're unsure of the girl's attraction level to you, you are scared to let that exciting and masculine side of your personality be demonstrated.
Cocky & masculine is ONLY good when she is getting what she wants from it. its not about her liking or disliking it. She ONLY likes herself, so anything that gives her what she wants she likes. if thats being cocky, so be it. But if that is being nice, so be it! men dont charm women, women charm themselves! They are like cats in this regard.
Last year, for the first time I led the interaction with a girl by being cocky. It's been almost 10 months and I can happily call her my girlfriend.
And, as Alexander said, you shouldn't stay cocky deeper in the relationship because your girl, in the end, wants to be treated nicely.
About 2 months dating my gf I changed my attitude and she thanked me for it, so if you are a truly masculine man, don't be afraid to be nice to your woman.
I'm so glad I found Alexander's channel because all the channels that I watched till then, never told me that being cocky and kind of an asshole is just the first part of a bigger thing.
Keep us updated on your status! We are taking a poll to see how long she puts up with you! Also, how long until she blames you for changing, and assorted other BS women blame men for! Good luck, champ, you will need it! How much did Alex pay you to make your comment?
@@inconnu4961 Depends on his culture, if he lives in the West, UK, US, Australia, he's fcuked, within the next year she will be asking for commitment, he will be dumped or chained shortly after lol.
If he is in latin american country he might stand a chance to last a bit longer
A harmless man is worthless.
Existential worth may not be defined by Man.
Harmful men belong in jail and/or the grave! they DISRUPT society
And I bet she does nothing for him in return😮
So this pretty much is summed up as that it is better to be a fake douchebag than a genuinely nice guy.
Exactly! We need to be a douchebag to make women happy!
If Chad is nice, then it's fine.
Golden rule of philosophy : " Threat the others as you want to be treated". that is the main motivation for majority of nice guys, not a fear of offending anybody. thats why it is almost impossible to become a prick since it is not integrity of a man. you would behave against your core belief.
Yes, but do you really want do be treated by the "nice guy" all the time? Are you searching friends with no own point of view, morals and believes? Who do what they are told to do all the time? Who step back whenever they are confronted with a problem or threat? I don't think so.
So exactly this golden rule of philosophy tells you, not to be the nice guy. Because society wouldn't work with everyone being nice. There are good videos of Jordan Peterson in this.
The golden rule you mention is based on the "Categorical Imperative" of the german philosopher Immanuel Kant from 1785: "Act only according to the maxim whereby you can at the same time will that it should become a universal law." So this bigger rule is: "Act so that society would function if everybody acts like that!" and not the shortend "Act so that everybody feels good if everybody acts like that" like in your shortend golden rule. That is a big difference! Society wouldn't work if everybody was nice. No problems would be addressed, No inefficiencies ended, no bullies stopped. If everybody was nice but one person on earth - all power and wealth would fall to this person. Because no one would stop him. So every psychopath must know that there are a lot of people there to stop him. That is very important in society.
It''s by necessity. Quipy, sarcastic, funny, confident and a little dangerous. Careing, careful, sensitive, comforting, helpful. It often depends what mood SHE is in. They like it all at the right times. If she's isn't stressed out or mad, you can dial up the confidence consirably, but you have to be classy all the same. I like 'em. It's fun to find that line you shouldn't cross, because it's different for each of them.
i extremely hate people like that who tries to test my boundaries. it means no respect. i wonder why women loves that behaviour. it is beyond me 🤦♂️
@@bogdankovalenko5096 Exactly! do you know what the number 1 byword that everyone is searching for in other humans? AUTHENTICITY! Do you know when we HAVE to play all these stupid human tricks to satiate the fear of weak stupid people so they wont be made ashamed of being weak & stupid, we then lack authenticity! Because women are stoooopid! We are all being dumbed down now, and women were the first and easiest subject of this dumbing down, and now its our turn as men to be dumbed down.
Its not an "act" and it's sad that men have to take the woman's lead and "act" like a bad boy just to appease a woman who you don't even know is truly into WITHOUT getting to actually know you. Most "Players" are good at prentending until they get what they want and then bouncing, then you have angry, disgruntled women who then blame ALL men for her choices. I don't know why your (womansplaing) for women.
The relationship phase should be avoided. What’s the point? Women bring nothing to the table bar annoying drama. They take away peace.
That’s what gets the sex unless you’re a hustling John that does not want kids
Great video. I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her..
@jay pritchett wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?
@jay pritchett Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
Aw 😢
Why do you “love” a woman who has so disrespected you?
Watch a movie
This doesn't work if you're not attractive. Your confidence will be perceived as arrogance.
It's ovaaaaah
@@jorgefoyld8538FLYBORG.
Looks is the fuel.
@@jorgefoyld8538 Its not over. It has never begun.
I warn every woman i'm dating that I am an asshole, they always respond with "I don't think so" and then at the end of the relationship, i'm right. :D
I think it’s helpful to simply not put any value on the interactions until she earns it rather than focusing on acting cocky or whatever. If you don’t care if she likes you or not then you reframe the risks as minimal, which frees a lot of restrictions you might have on your behaviors because you are no longer starting in a position of fear of the loss of someone you don’t even know yet.
Thats logical.
Pro: You differentiate yourself from the simps, which makes you interesting.
Cons: You are betting on your looks. So if you are handsome, you win (anyway). If not, you will come off as weird, antisocial, autistic.
Underrated commentary!
You're the one trying to convince yourself you're right. Women occupy too much time in your head. What your generation doesn't know is when to walk away. Be the lion on the prairie among the gazelles. They're not concerned what their potential meal thinks about them. Stoicism and having a poker face are traits that many nice men possess. They're very effective.
@@ApexAL The content creator
@@ApexAL You could be right....
@@rumbleyoungmanrumble5369 He has been in a long term relationship for quite sometime, by his own admission. he has already been domesticated.
Formerly/Still Nice Guy:
I didn't have all those traits below the surface or whatever, I had to learn that I was largely devoid of any edge and had to build edge up from essentially scratch. So for me, there may have been some level of anxiety, but not cowardice. I've been painfully aware that I've been missing something, but unlike others in the community, my experience wasn't that it was solely looks or status or social skills.
So I can't back you up on this one. I personally loathe the idea of performing on dates, partially because I don't want women to have the ability to say "you've changed, you're not exciting anymore, you got boring and now the spark is gone" -in spite of the fact that it's a cliché. My loathing may not be healthy, but it's where I'm at; there is however a virtue with being more than just nice however, and boundary setting early on in a relationship can *be the edge you need to keep things spicy and (for me) more honest (less playing a character).
You should read the book, "No more Mr nice guy" by Dr. Robert Glover. It'll help you continue to change and grow from your past mistakes
@@jons1992 I may have already cracked open that book, unless I've mistaken it for another. In either case, I appreciate the recommendation 🙏
@@brandon-toddhutchinson3798 Its a small book, with large type, so it should be a quick read! But you are right! Everyone wants authenticity, until they dont. Everyone cries that everyone is fake & they have to play games, but they are happy to play the games if they think they are winning, and they moan & groan when some people refuse to play the silly games!
Once she tames you, however, she'll get bored and break up to start over with a new guy.
And if she doesn't tame you, she'll still leave and tell everyone what an abusive price you are.
Yes they’ve got you between a rock and a hard place. Either you’re too weak or too controlling or you name it. Women are basically never going to be happy with you for very long. As a man you might as well embrace a life of endless pursuit of mastery if you want a lasting relationship with a decent woman. It’s going to be hard, no way around it. Speaking from a man in a 30 yr relationship married for 25.
I grew up around violence, I saw my father beat my mom, in the middle of the street; I’m not nice out of fear , I know what being violent means verbally and physically; why should I portray those characters to get someone to love me in expectation of me being nice one day, it’s ridiculously stupid; you don’t marry a woman hoping that she’ll become a good person afterwards so why do they expect dangerous men to change for them after sleeping with them?
your mom deserved it. at the end of the day. she chose your father because of his dark triad & machiavellian personality traits... on the other hand, i agree with your point fully. choosing shitty men & expecting them to change into a good man instead of choosing a good man in the first place is stupid. i'm sorry to say, but your mother is no different.
Being a "Nice Guy" doesn't mean being kind, emotionally strong, fair, and mature in life. Nice guys act nice because they are people pleasers, always expecting something in return. Nice guys are also simps, have no self respect, do not work on their purpose and are easily moulded by women. Which is why no women like them. Masculine men, are kind and gentle, but they are capable of violence, know how to hold themselves in social situations, have a purpose to chase, stoic(can process their emotions well), and aren't oblivious to the nature of women. They are capable of filtering mate choice to find the perfect one.
@@kshitijshekhar1144 we like how you have created your own definition of "nice" based on what man-hating feminists told you that the word means. "nice" has never meant any of those things you listed, nor will you find that in the dictionary. you have been 100% completely & utterly brainwashed by feminist dogma & ideology smh
@@acct4600I would rather be a better man than try to be someone I'm not just because a group of people I'm opposed to hates on masculinity. It's female nature, accept it or stay alone forever like the feminists. You cannot always do everything for your woman. She isn't the priority of your life.
You've gotta "read the room". One size approach doesn't fit all. Women with some serious past trauma have very different responses to the cocky approach.
Very astute point!
I lost the nice guy state of mind when I was 19. Was with a girl and did everything I could for her. It actually wore off toward the end of the relationship, but ya I'm glad that I met this kind of girl way early because being a dickhead afterward was way more fruitful.
If I have to "play a game" for a woman to behave like a normal person, then I straight up do not want to speak to or interact with women in any way. Good riddance.
3:00 yikes, I straight up don't think I have a "cockier side appropriate for dating and flirting". Guess I've failed before I've started 😅💀
same here!
totally worked for me.Sadly the more i treat them like im a horny 18 years old and really dont care, the more they run after me.But the caveat they know when youre acting,you should honestly hive zero fucks if they "breakup" with you now.Never woulve thought of rotating girls as a Nice guy,1 year ago i was spinning 5 😅
What do u mean "treat them like a horny 18 year old" any examples?
Never enter into a negotiation you can’t walk away from.
@@JstJaybeingJay he said “treat them like I’M a horny 18 year old” like you have sexual adhd and your attention is fleeting. It implies you don’t actually care because you have options.
@@UbiDoobyBanooby lmao I thought it was something else😂.
An honest cognitive behavioral therapist should agree with the "why bother" attitude men have toward dating modern women.
During my dating years, I always noticed that the girls I tried hard to impress treated me poorly, and the ones I had the bad attitude towards were hanging on me. I cursed this intractable female character. I wish I knew then what I know now.
You can still curse it! if we tolerated that type of rationale in ANY other endeavor, other men would think you were insane! There is NOTHING rational nor logical about it, and even women will admit it sometimes. But they do it because they are a SLAVE to their emotions!
Meh a way to long video to say women dont care if ur nice if theyre not atrackted to you
LOL its all about the Benjamins, Sven $$$$$$$$$$$! He has a little wifey and child to support!
Confidence. That's what they want. Easy to describe, hard to aquire. And the safety part, super important. It can be even intellectual safety, emotional safety. But there needs to be that element.
Yep!!!!
Financial safety? or muscle safety? that's what i am curious about
@@vasilis1995l I think financial, intellectual, and emotional safety are more important than muscles. As long as the man is sturdy…men are always stronger than women physically anyway.
Former nice guy here. There is a spectrum of being nice and an asshole. Don't be on the nice side of the spectrum, you'll be considered a pushover. Be on the asshole side of the spectrum, although don't go full asshole because well you'll be considered an asshole.
You know listening to all of this as a man…. I’ll just stay single and do the stuff I enjoy. I don’t feel like manipulating people and playing games to try and have someone reliable - life is too short.
Alexander --- you are correct about the want by women for her man to be a masculine, mysterious and dangerous.
But, they also want him to be nice to her but not too nice.
I understand that is a primal instinct of women.
It also is another way for women to weed out weaker less aggressive less protective men as her partner.
But, that's also another privilege that women get that is a double standard, just like 90% of the things women get to say they want/don't want from a man only to be changed again and again whenever it seems to fit their mood.
For a man to be able to be a real man, not put the woman first for everything he does, and to be very assured of himself and not play into a woman's games, he is labeled by women as toxic, misogynistic, and asshole unless he falls into that top 5% or 10% of men who are tall, rich, handsome, and has many women wanting him.
So, I ask, why do men have to oblige women with more ways to get what they want, to feed their spoiled, selfish, narcissistic personalities?
Why is it that men are the ones who have to alter their lives to make women consider a man as a partner? If men don't accept the changes in his personality, that the woman wants, expects, manipulates, and even uses sex as the leverage to get him to comply to her vision of who her man needs to be, usually not based in any reality, then he is tossed out with the garbage.
Women need to stop playing both sides of the line. That line being her instinctual and biological needs from a man, and her post modern, feminist brain washing that they (women) don't need to make personal changes, sacrifices, do some things they might not like doing, and check their own privilege and shitty personality traits, if she wants and expects a man do do those and more to be with her.
Double Standards, again.
Until women change themselves into better, respectful, self respecting, decent humans, they should get nothing and be unhappy alone instead of being unhappy and making a man's life miserable at the same time.
The irony is that "being nice" in order to get something (appreciation, women etc.) Is manupulative AF which in return makes you the opposite - not nice.
Genuine "niceness" is being so without ulterior motives and being happy even if people do not appreciate it.
It’s also feminine to be very nice & agreeable.
The issue is not a single youtuber thinks genuinely kind men aren’t overwhelming disqualified from women who have had handfuls of failed relationships since 15.
This is in reality isn’t the man, which women flipped. Women are terrified they’ll meet a genuinely good man because it’s a mirror reflecting how foolish she’s been acting for years. They don’t want good men because they don’t know to act with a good man
@@daycrow8651 Maybe. A mirror to the face is a hard pill to swallow for most people. They will rather live in an illusion.
@@maidende8280 Not necessarily. A man can be nice but manly. Agreableness tho is clearly not a good characteristic for a man. This suits more the feminine people. We agree on that.
I mean nice does not apply aggreable. Or maybe we need another word. My definition of nice would better be described with "kind" and "generous".
@@arminxvs3372 Being overly generous or selfless can easily appear as weak & agreeable, unfortunately, even if it’s not.
"... inside every man, there is bit of a prick waiting to come out ... "
I chuckled so hard :)
Nice one!
Over the years I just started to say what I think and not care that much anymore if she likes it or not. Met one that started to annoy me to get me angry because I'm quite stoic so I started to ignore her. Now she keeps saying that I barely text her anymore. Mental peace over drama lol
I used to be a "Nice Guy". It never worked. I then learned to stop being a Nice Guy, and be myself. I learned to have an edge. I stopped allowing "friend-zoning" and other such behavior from women. It led to me finding a really good relationship(marriage) with a younger, pretty, high quality woman.
We talk so much about women nowadays. Why is that? Why can't men live their lives in solitude? I mean, all my life I've been a solitary person. I enjoyed spending time alone, just by myself. Creativity. Mastery. Why bother with all the drama?
Excellent point! I can see a point to both sides though. but generally women are quite parasitic and they drain MORE energy than they provide!
My current girlfriend told me that her last relationship didn't work out because the guy was too easygoing - it drove her nuts that he let her "walk all over him." You have to find the balance point between being a controlling dick and being a doormat.
Yeah dude it's our fault for being nice how dare we🙄
He didn’t say that. But it’s your responsibility to get more confident
@@NorthernSpartan yeah he kinda did...even said it was somehow arrogant
You can be annoyed or whatever it is you feel about what he's saying, but you as a man have to take life by the balls, a.k.a. your life, and accept everything that you are apart of is your responsibility. You're accountable for your success, failures, who is in your life and the circumstances around it.
That means grasping the qualities of what makes you desirable to the biological urges of a woman needing security have to be realized and directly accessed by you.
That's ultimately the breakdown of what he's saying. Don't get irritated, or upset cause it doesn't do you any good. Accept that the world is cold, and us men have to possess the fortitude to weather the storm. Being kind isn't always enough by itself. Standing firm on your principals is needed. Not just for women, but the entire world. We make the world go round. Mental/emotional, spiritual & physical strength are all needed. Harness those qualities, and don't focus so much on "women don't like nice guys." This is the core of his message to men.
@@V_ii And it flies in the face of MORAL truth! ARE you just an animal who follows his base instincts, like a fecking cave man, or do you have the capacity to rise above them and be enlightened? I think you are inferring much more than what he actually did say, which is kind of you but not smart. Thanks for the pep talk, but it was meaningless, because we know its just a rationale to be a selfish prick for most people! One NEEDs to understand why people are nice to begin with, and why its SO hard for so many men who have been nice to learn to be a selfish prick now. being a coward is only one potential reason and a vast over-simplification. We sure do LOVE to bash men, dont we! The same people that cry about bashing women, will be the first ones to bash men all day long and enjoy every second of it! We know who YOUR Lord is, if you do this!
@@V_ii nah I’m out. Have fun with the adult children. Juice ain’t worth the squeeze.
Through my experiences I was always a nice guy and my conclusion is that in the end it doesnt matter at all. So through my failures I have changed how i conduct myself. I would not say that I am nice anymore because it is not a point, as a man we often do certain things for our girl that we like to think they would do for ous in return, but thats never the case. Only treat your girl as she treats you.
thank you for making these videos.
Videos like this do a lot to disillusion people who were sent mixed messages about dating.
I was raised with a strange blend of very conservative, but also elements of hedonism.
Conversations were very much be an "old fashion gentleman"
but the actions I saw, was that people lived in the moment and did as they pleased.
Most of the dating advice, was very old school and one liner, such as "just smile" or "just be nice". Imagine how nice it would be, that all you need is one line advice and boom, you got a wife for life!
then in reality, there was tons of divorce and hook up culture. by the time I finished high school, atleast half the adults I knew had plenty of "bad relationship" experience.
Then once I turned 30, it finally dawned on me. Being "just nice" doesn't work, and being physically abusive only works in the really bad parts of town, or if you are "fromam the hood"
I think what works best, is to be a bit of a jerk, be mysterious.
maybe you do not do drugs, but be edgy by being pro marijuana
maybe you play a guitar in a band.
Maybe you are single, but you have some wild ideas about dating
act like a bog shot. I think most men lie about how exciting their lives are, I think a bit of indulging is par for the course these days.
Throw away all those "good manners" books, get a stylish haircut, adopt some "edgy" ideas, and learn how to be "hold and cold" around women to create the right amount of emotional excitement. be married and have kids by age 25? that is so 1950s. Now, be the 40 year old who still likes the party, is single and loves hook up culture, that is how we roll in 2023!
I have got that "Nice Guy" problem too. But I think that many are very much mistaken by me being nice, to connect it with being harmless. I used to practice martial arts and i had to use it twice in my life (one was a 1 vs 1 and one was 1 vs 3 me being the one who was allone), thanks to that training which is designed to train your muscle and not the brain, so you can act instinctively, I got out of theese situations unscathed.
Once I was with a girl out for a party, she wanted to revenge herself on an other ex. There she met 3 guys who looked very fishi and not trustworthy at all. I told her when she requested me to leave with them "no, we just wait until they are out and then we will see how we leave." Turned out me to be right. They were waiting for us at the entrace and I waited for them to waver in ther vigilance to sneak out of it with her, she wanted to turn her head in order to check that we aren't followed. I turned her back to the front and told her not to turn around or you will stand out and awake their attention.
That's where I avoided a potential confrontation, where I on my own would have stood a chance of winning it but not being with her together and having to shield her.
That's a great difference in my perception of being protective. It's not about being cocky and agressive or something in that way but just being vigilant. So girls should ask about it if they want to feel protected.
Is my true story something that I can use to give the girls the feeling of safety around me without me being forced to act cocky... I don't brag with this or other things I could easy brag about, it's just my lifestory or at least a part of it. In that regard I am a modest bloke. The only part where I am a bit cocky is in terms of intellect, where i pride with a wide spread knowledge, which I honed.
What you're saying makes sense, here's the elephant in the room, men come out the box like this un-tampered, only issue is you have a large majority being raised by foolish mothers and a bunch of hormonal broads teachers and henpecked husbands with no masculine fire left, so all that natural masculine swagger ends up being neutered before it even gets out the blocks so the boy learns the mothers neuroticism and is quickly made docile by the mother, to make her feel more in control and less fearful of her own sons masculine strength, basically she psychologically castrates and leaves him clueless on the nature of women in his most formative years which virtually guarantees the boy will be severely unattractive to most women and passive in later life so that other women who aren't family can benefit by feeling safer and have an edge on em later, let that sink in!!
It's a shame really, my own mother raised me to be nice to women just cause, she use to brag over the phone to her gf's that she "raised us to help out the girls", I still remember the phone call, f-d me up so bad sometimes I hold back torrents of hatred, After learning this I've slowly reprogrammed my psyche to become what I've always been an ODB.
Hilariously it came to my recent knowledge that my dad was a straight Tyrone but wasn't in the picture really, hilarious how that works, talking to him 2 decades later we connected over female nature and he cosigned pretty much everything I said about them..
Its not about being a prick! Its a bout having boundaries. And sometimes you need to be harsh and unapologetic in holding those boundaries.
I heard from several women they thought I was arrogant when they met me. I'm not, as they later on found out. But this perception was never to my disadvantage.
There’s a reason James Bond was the pinacle of masculinity for decades. Boyish charm, witty, aggressively pursues his purpose, educated without being a nerd, and dangerous. A basically exciting. Evolutionary wise it makes perfect sense. A
I'm a nice guy. I'm very fair and respectful. I'm also very adventurous, tough, and masculine, but that's only if you put the time to know me. But if anyone tries to cross me, there's another side of me you won't want to mess with. I don't tolerate jerks or manipulative women. I'm not here to act like what a women wants me to act like. I act how I want. I won't give her a fantasy. I'll give her exactly who I am. She either likes me for me or she doesn't. Women who only see me as a nice guy only shows me their lack of interest in really getting to know me outside of social interactions. Yes, I'm a sigma male.
3:35 Bit of a generalisation! I'm nice, good and fair with everyone I meet....until they cross me.
Being nice doesn't mean not having a laugh, joking around, it means not being horrible.
Maybe we need to actually clarify what nice actually means and what kind of behaviours are actually sickly in this context.
I'm a natural giver but if someone abuses it then I can turn quickly. My version of 'nice' means I won't doing anything bad to you and ill be generous but if you take the piss I'll not let you get away with it.
Women are inherently selfish regarding men, if she thinks you're not enough because of something this stupid cut off all contact with her and replace her with someone else.
Not that it'll be easy, it takes us guys months to find someone while they can just hit up Tinder and have a different guy every week.
The best revenge in my opinion is to hit the gym hard and get to the point where she'll regret treating you like a backup guy or "friend zoned" guy.
You are so right, was always a nice guy starting working as night bouncer and how my life changed, I became the confident cocky and flirtatious guy that girls craved. Never felt I was not authentic, i felt i found a part of me i just didn`t know, i agree with you , what was really stopping me was fear. Amazing video Alex.
A good way to be confident or a little cocky, you can always talk or do something that you are sure about. Lets say something like a tire blows out and you are certain on how to change it, don't be wishy washy, show her that you got this. Here is a fun one to incorporate on a date.. if you know how to play guitar and happen to be near one.. play her a song that you KNOW how to play. In these scenarios, don't compromise your integrity to please her, just do your thing and let her KNOW how it is done.
I started out as the nice guy who would give women everything upfront. Over time, I’ve learned to hold much of my niceness/generosity back at first. However, I’ve somehow learned a way to be nice while being an asshole at the same time. I don’t know how to explain how I do it, but I have women calling me an asshole/dick all the time.
There is also a fear of "love bombing".... Being nice is one thing, but going above and beyond, right off the bat, is a sign of love bombing... There's a chance he has her on a pedestal, and as soon as she doesn't match his preconceived fantasies about her, he could possibly turn on her..... Maybe that's why that girl felt like she needed advice. Not to be cynical-
That seems reasonable...
That's not love bombing. Love bombing is one of the many, many, many terms that women toss around stupidly without actually having any idea what they mean besides that it's something bad.
Love bombing is bombarding with love and affection until they become addicted to and emotionally dependant on the positive attention, then withdrawing that attention to replace it negative attention in order to force the person to behave to please you in order to receive the positive attention., It has nothing to do with putting someone on a pedestal. It's a calculated and deliberate act of thought control.
@@alzaelnext638 ok, thank you for proving my point- maybe what you are saying, is the EXACT advice her friend needed to hear....
@@notanotherspiritualguru1215 But thats NOT what you said! so he didnt make your point. Maybe thats what you THOUGHT, but we cant read your mind, and frankly, we might be disappointed if we could! LOL You HAVE to actually say it, to take credit for it, love! he stands correct! Nice try trying to wriggle out of it! LOL
@@inconnu4961 what did I say? I said there is "fear of love bombing" because sometimes going above and beyond right off the bat "can be a sign of it".
I didn't say anyone was definitely a love bomber or not. And you can assume through the context of the video- that I meant in the context of needing advice from a friend
It’s hard b/c we are taught our whole lives that men should be direct and honest, only to find out that women revel in the grey area. And everyone tells men we need to figure out that fine line of being a love-able jerk, but no one tells you HOW to. And I understand why no one tells you. It’s just annoying b/c it’s extremely expensive and difficult to reverse everything you’ve ever been taught
You are 100 right. Once they know you are a strong man they can feel admire and feel safe, thats when they want u to be nice to them
It's like you have a watch dog that can bark and protect. He's gentle with friends/family but can bark/protect when needed to.
Some of the best advice I've ever heard is "Don't be a dick. And don't be a pussy"
No More Mr. Nice Guy, Dr. Robert Glover. We all have suffered, to some degree, trauma in our early development. This creates the nice guy and our relationships suffer. We have a hard time relating to others, especially women. Alexander is absolutely right. You need to fix this if you want to be authentic and masculine. Otherwise you will continue to lose so much in your life.
I think I finally get it… she is done dealing with jerks that are typically at her. Well done.
Hey Alex, how do I find the video on patreon you mention at the end? The List there is just endless..
You are perfectly correct as always. One thing that doesn't quite fit into the picture, however, is women falling in love with good-looking gay men. Here in Germany every woman has a story about it. Could be a local thing. Could be women being stuck in the sexuality of little girls. Could be German women having higher testosterone levels. Could be K-Pop. What do you think it is?
When women are younger they like Gaston. When women are older or more mature they want The Beast.
Gaston isn’t nice at all. Where The Beast is nice to her but is also controlled chaos. Can be violent to protect her.
Neither option is purely nice.
I am an authentically nice dude. We are definitely from different parts of the world because I genuinely cannot be mean or cocky on purpose. The issue is nice guys generally come off less confident. You can be nice and confident at the same time. But yeah there is nothing wrong with challenging woman and putting them on defense once in awhile. Just gotta know when to use it, and how to not go overboard.
As a former nice guy, I didn't know how to have fun until I started being selfish in my own amusement, tired of people pleasing.
Turned out my sense of humour is common so if I'm amused so are others.
Dating these days is a lot of pressure. Damn. No wonder people don't bother. Anytime feelings are front and center, expect that to change by natural due process that arranges comittments between a balance between positive and negative feelings. Gisele says with tears in her eyes her marriage was a phase of feelings that ultimately was no longer interesting/ rewarding. It was more or less destined for failure. What's his names feelings didn't matter, the kids feelings didn't matter. Momma says she lost herself, whatever that means, so she had to recover herself, whatever that means. Feelings, I guess.
last summer some guy came up close to my house and was mouthing off. well this girl was there with me and after a few sentences i just blew up and even though i thought she'd get turned off by it, the total opposite happened. she came up after it and without saying a word, hugged me then told her friends about it. that was eye-opening. controlled aggression - towards others and if need be - is a huge turn on.
I used to be 100% a "nice guy" until I realised that women want a "bad boy" who can be nice.
Being a nice guy got me walked all over, used, and cheated on.
Being a crazy rollercoaster of bad-good-good-bad and all over the place got me my missus of 23+ years.
I'm just authentic and do whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it.
Sometimes that means being mean or p*ssing her off.
And sometimes that means bringing her flowers, hugs, kisses, and (later on) giving her an "O" with my fingers.
Or compliments and kindness when she's miserable until she's stable, and then pushing her hard with some not-so-nice comments to get her off her backside and back to fighting form again.
Every day is different, and she doesn't know what will happen.
Sometimes I deliberately make her angry, just so I can laugh and make HER laugh when she realises I was only teasing her all along.
30% "bad boy", 30% "nice guy", with 40% ignoring her and doing my own thing.
That works for me. 😆
Say this to a therapist and you will either be branded a-gas lighting control freak, or you will be institutionalized! i vote for the latter! Thanks for setting us straight, mate! ALL of the Manosphere looks up to you as the shingin example of what we should all be! And NO, you are not a self-absorbed egomaniac! LOL
'I have zero problems... I need advice."
Is anyone else just sick of the mind games and everyone running game on each other and being told how you need to act?
Yes! a long time ago, infact! this proves NO ONE has a clue, and they just selling snake oil & used cars! LOL
When I was young, I got along with most people, but wasn't afraid to fight the school bullies. I was even voted school president one year. So I was considered to be a "nice guy", but definitely not weak. Also highest SAT scores in history of my school. Made no difference though when it came to dating. Girls don't date "nice guys" in America. Everything worked out though after I discovered SE Asia. And being nice is actually great for relationships when you can discuss problems and both people try to make things work out.
that because dating makes is mess up. It clear that dating does not work in usa because usa non longer patriarchal society. I think some women like strong nice guys in American but too many just want sex and not relationship.
@@spark300c You are exactly right! Women ONLY want the benefits & prizes with NONE of the work or obligation it takes to care for men. They are the supreme narcissists now!
All this doesn't matter because the laws are the same laws, and with such laws you don't get married or have children, it bothers the elders and the establishment mainly, but they are not ready to change laws because they want to destroy everything.
"I'm not saying there's a part of you that is evil"
oh, but there is 😈
I laugh my ass off every time I see pepper spray on her key chain buahahahahaha lmao
I feel really bad for my nephew…he’s such a sweet and thoughtful kid. I feel like he’s gonna get run over by modern woman and turn into a cold hearted person that will treat relationships transactionally
The standard for what is too nice and too mean varies.
Some girl asked me "why are you so nice" and my reply was "my mum raised me to be nice" 🤷🏼♂️
The problem with this. It goes against a well rounded social structure, it goes against marriage and stable family.
The nice guy thing comes from looking to others for approval, and self worth. No guy should ever do this. What men must do, is work on themselves until they become the man they want to be, then they will have gained their own respect and approval. At this point they won't care about getting approval from others or getting their sense of self worth from others.
Nice guy behavior is like being a servant, a servant who looks for approval from the one he serves. This makes him beneath whoever he is serving, and women never date down. So men must learn to be kings. Kings do what they want when they want because they want to. If that means treating their wives well ok, but not because he has to, he will do it because he wants to, and he won't if she starts acting like she is entitled to the good treatment or doesn't appreciate him. Then he needs to stop.
No it doesnt originally come from that! This is such an idiotic comment! You NEED a certain level of social approval IF you want to live in society! If you want to live beyond the rules, you will be kicked out, thrown in jail, or killed! Just try living as a hermit for awhile, and see if you can survive. People make seeking approval to sound bad, because they dont seem to understand what the hell they are talking about. its about proper balance, not too much in either direction. But few people say 'balance', they simply say validation= bad, like they are parroting their talking points that they have been spoon-fed!
You spoke directly to me
I needed this. I really did.
Boy , you definitely have the gift of Gabe , you keep on making sense over and over again. You are my hero. Because you say everything right on the nose every time. Take care baby 😂
This was the best explanation of the “why” in all the videos
Don't be nice, be kind
Said be "authentic", then said act one way at the beginning and another way later on, so which behavior is the authentic person? Girffin Mind summed it up best - You have to be nice guy and spike their emotions from time to time and create some tension but has to be done in a non-disrespectful fun way. Good luck figuring that out since each girl is different. Look at how your grandpa treats his wife, he is nice but firm, edgy at times. She is traditional, Huge problem dealing with younger modern girls is going to be a real PITA since they are entitled, incredibly demanding.
Modern girls are childish! They are extra tall, immature beings playing dress up!
She's not that attracted to him or she would just go for him without worrying if he was really a nice guy or whatever.