I am 4 people at once. BLENDY ALTERS & Flashbacks | Dissociative Identity Disorder | DissociaDID
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- čas přidán 10. 09. 2024
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Channel and Videos Disclaimer (written 29/12/2021 by Chloe Wilkinson):
We are not Mental Health Professionals. These videos were made from what we believed to be accurate at the time of their creation, from sources made accessible to us and our own personal experiences. New or updated information may have become available since these videos were made that we may not be aware of, or were not aware of at the time of making the content. We try our best to keep up to date with accurate information, but we are not researchers, psychologists or scientists, just mentally ill people trying to spread awareness and validation as best we can. Please do not use our videos as your only source of information or as a replacement for professional help.
THIS VIDEO WAS CREATED SOLELY BY DISSOCIADID WITH NO OUTSIDE INPUT. WE ARE THE SOLE CREATORS AND THE SOLE COPYRIGHT HOLDER OF THIS VIDEO.
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I feel like Jade has pretty clear mannerisms. I notice she tends to tilt her head down when she speaks and speaks very to the point and factually. She also holds herself a lot more stiffly than Kya usually does. Super interesting, great video!
I noticed that too, she also looks into the camera without blinking or looking away. Very intense.
yes, i noticed that too - the head tilt for direct eye contact reminds me of Jade, voice softening later, i hear Kya and someone else there.
Yeah, it's like she's staring into your soul. She's like authority incarnate, like a goddess of old, specifically one of justice or wisdom. "Mess with me or those in my charge and I'll make sure you come to rue the day you crossed us".
Yes, I noticed Jade too. I find it super interesting too, whilst Hearing to helpful flashback Management tipps❤
I'm always drawn to Jade's eyes because of how intense they are
It's so funny that Editing Kya came on to say that they were being blendy because as soon as the video started and Kya started speaking, I was like "hm, Kya sounds slightly different and more muted here."
I had the same thought!!
I was like "hmmmm that's not just Kya"
I felt the same thing!
Ikr
I can definitely see Jade's intense and steady stare. Her steadfast aura shows through, one of the qualities of her I really admire.
yes, as soon as the camera switched from editing kya to blendy filming alters, i could instantly notice jade's eyes just like, boring into my soul through the screen, lol
@@josephm5291 love rewatching to see what's everyone else notices, please keep commenting!
“This what survival looks like sometimes” 😢 thanks besties. Those words help a lot with some negative self-talk
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@Thatone_owlhousefanChloe and Nina fused into Nin, and then Nin and Kyle fused into Kya. They made videos about updates with the system so you should probably check them out
I’ve noticed Jade is all about the eye brows. They are always slightly raised and her neutral expression just exudes strength and control. She’s got the kind of intimidating stare that will just trap you until she decides to release you 😂
Hi everyone❤❤❤❤ I feel so lucky for the amount of content that we are receiving. Thank you so much for your hard work and love. Sending all the love and support to you all ❤❤❤❤
This is so lovely, thank you for watching them and supporting us! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Same, we’re so lucky to be getting so many videos lately!!!
It's so cool to see what everybody notices
@@DissociaDIDit's amazing that you can take the time to respond to people, love you
All I can say is that Jade's influence is definitely the easiest to spot for me. She's very distinctive in her way of being.
Omg I haven’t seen Ruby in forever. I hope her and everyone else are having amazing days.
Edit: the purple flowers look amazing there
She's been out or around for days straight this week and because of her leaking angry emotions constantly its put everyone in an irritated mood hahaha! Have newfound respect to her for dealing with that all the time. And thank you!
@@DissociaDIDwhere did you get the purple flowers? I have been looking for some ways to decorate my walls so I can take pretty photos while still being in my bedroom
@@courtney3661they did a vlog video a couple of days ago where they went to a garden centre or something, it's in the video but I don't know if they said the name of the shop there
@@gaymedievaldruid ok. I will have to watch!! Thankyou
@@DissociaDID anger can because such a difficult emotion. I hope she knows that she is doing the best she can and that’s all that matters! Hopefully, everyone is doing a lot of self care and being kind to themselves. ❤️
We were also blendy today... or, how we say (joke) - "soupy". Had up to 6 people at front and didn’t know who was more in control. It was very overwhelming. Got out of it a few hours ago. Interesring coicidence that this video came out today, haha! Thank you for the content, hope you all are doing well ❤
-Jordan
Hope you're doing well too! Thank you and I'm glad you're less of a soup now! ❤️
yes!! someone else that says soupy haha
@sukatidi Our friend system made a joke that DID feels like you're soup when you don't know who's fronting 😂 A direct quote from me right after: "DID is officially soup with the main ingredient being trauma". Became a system-wide inside joke 😂🙈 Glad we're not the only ones using it!!
-Jordan
I call blendy states "brain soup" on a regular basis loll
I find this interesting, as our system name (odd, yes) is Soup :)
We're often quite soupy also.
We hope you're all doing better now!
- Mavis
Jade has some interesting mannerisms. Her lips purse and jaw tenses. Her eyes are wide and blinks are slow. Her movements are purposeful and controled. Its very interesting. Thank you all for the video, they are always so helpful!
I know you said in a previous video that you've been doing better and having more energy due to changes in meds and stuff but I really hope nobody in the system is pushing themselves too hard... Take care of yourselves, queens, kings, and monarchs!
I think we pushed a bit hard last week hence the 6 day long flare-up this week, we just need to learn a better balance! ❤️❤️
"Queens, kings and monarchs" Brb, crying ;o I love that -Ben
@@DissociaDID it's always a balancing act, what works once might not work again, love you and support you
Definitely felt Ruby's influence when you commented about how you'd deal with unsupportive friends! Her ferocity was very fitting.
As a whole, I think Kya's empathy and Jade's clarity and efficient delivery of information combined to create a really concise and intense (in a good way) video.
I love Sally’s contribution of a full song. What a lovely strategy.
I hope she is picking nice ones.
Unless she picks deliberately annoying ones to get the attention of the rest of you. I could imagine something like the theme tune to a kids show could be particularly terrible, or one of those joke songs that come along every few years, get to number one and then become an ear worm.
Haha she usually sings old style gentle songs. Things like "you are my sunshine"
PPAP? 😂
@@DissociaDID oh how lovely.
sally is such a lovely person. i strive to be more like her and kya. they’re both so strong and compassionate
I’m not a system but I have CPTSD and PTSD and generally find content like this extremely helpful. It’s also not unreasonable to think I may eventually befriend a system so this helps me think about what could help future friends
Our friend and our bf noticed when Protector (he's not comfortable sharing his name) switched out. Our friend is a system so we expected they'd notice, but our bf isn't. It suprised me because our bf is usually not a very observant person in general, so I didnt expect hed notice at all.
A tip I got from you guys a while back was to mention where you and the other person are and when in time we are. My mother has CPTSD and it really seems to give her something to grab on to that is outside the flashback. My go to was also to always hug her, because thats the kind of person she is, but y'all also made me rethink my approach and i've learned that holding her hand is a lot more grounding than the "smothering" feeling of a hug. thank you so much, she can't always communicate how she is feeling/ doesnt know what she is feeling. It's meant a lot to have a resource on trauma
I definitely recognized Jade's influence in the face expressions ❤ also I love Kya's humour, I always laugh along and it makes my day ❤ love you, DissociaDID 😘
Thank you! ❤️❤️
Someone there definitely speaks faster than Kya does naturally. 😂 Thank you as always 💜
I think it's Kem 😂
Is there a video introducing Kem?
Not yet! Sorry!
The thing I always observe about Jade when she's in the body is the eyes. The body has lovely, big brown eyes, and you can sometimes tell when different alters are there through the eyes. Kyle used to have a very distinctive mannerism with the eyes. They were smaller, more sarcastic, playful, almost suspicious on occasion. Kya's eyes are very similar, as well as being sort of siren-like like Nina had in the one video we saw of her, playful and sarcastic in an entirely different way. Maeri usually has very big, very sweet eyes, as did Chloe, Nin, Sally, Nadia, etc.
But Jade is entirely different. With Jade, the eyes---though still large and lovely---get stiffer. They stare right into your soul. Jade is extremely powerful, and you can just tell through the eyes.
All of you are beautiful. Another excellent video!
This is very much what it is like for us when we are blendy. Just random parts of certain people can influence our patterns of speech and the way we deliver information to people and talk.
Glad we aren't alone in how we experience this
The good feeling when (I can’t tell who) said “or maybe your autistic and find maintaining eye contact difficult”. So many people give the blanket advice of maintain eye contact without thinking about how some people might not be able to do that
I feel like I could spot Ruby and Jade fairly accurately. I have such a deep respect and esteem for you, Jade. You work so very hard for your system. I appreciate knowing how protected the rest of the system is with you on guard. Ruby, I am a bit intimidated by you. However, I understand your role and admire your strength. Kem, it's nice to start to see you. I hope you will share more of yourself with us. Kya, you are so intelligent, strong, patient in your teaching us , and such a bright light in this world. I do hope your physical challenges will dissipate and you have many beautiful/pain free days ahead.❤
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I can almost always tell when Jade is near front because the body's eyes are SO much more intense. You have lovely brown eyes as is, but there's a specific depth and iciness when Jade is in front. She also speaks clearly but rapidly. To the point and never saying more than needed. When your voice softens and your posture is less stiff, that's when I can tell that you (Kya) are closer to front. ❤
I also think when Ruby is in front you carry a lot more tension in your jaw and tend to bare your teeth more. Not super familiar with Kem's mannerisms so I couldn't point his out, but if you see any sort of truth in this I'd feel validated lol
I'm glad someone else notices this, too, and it's not just me. I feel like I can see Jade in the eyes whenever she's front or close. There's just a new intensity about them.
7:08 is jade for sure
It's confusing how we can have so many people in our head and still feel so lonely. It sucks being blendy when are all feeling sad like the sadness is coming from everywhere.
Relate
oh I feel that 💙
I feel that
Hi Kya, Kem, Ruby, Jade. Hope your system is doing well :)
Thank you for uploading this.
Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
Just as a side note; having someone tell you that you're heard and listened to always makes me feel so much better, and sometimes also cry, cuz I don't really get that a lot. Anyways: This is an interesting and helpful video, thank you for sharing, with 100% I notice Jade's influence the most.
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I'm so glad ❤️❤️
So sorry to hear you've had a flare up recently!! Thank you so much to everyone for all your hard work in making this video despite how you had all been feeling 🥺❤️ sending all my love and strength to you all
"Every flashback you have is a step closer to being the LAST flashback you have." 💕 Really well said. This was a really informative video, and very helpful. It was very interesting to see the alters influences as you were explaining different aspects of flashbacks and supporting someone or yourself through them. Thank you for the video. Wishing all in the system safety and wellness.
-Sigma
I read this as it played! Perfect timing!
“In theory the more used to these memories your mind and brain becomes, the less of them you will have”
“Every flashback you have is a step closer to being the last flashback you ever have”
“This is not a weakness or a failure, this is just what survival looks like sometimes” you guys have no idea how much theses quotes are really helping me💖
Not really to do with this vid, but I have noticed how all of you smile differently! Mike’s is goofy, Kya’s is soft(like Chloe and Nin,) and a bit of a protective dad type of smirk (sort of like Kyle). Omega’s smile seems faint and ghost like, but strong. Mara typically has a darker smirk that reminds me a bit of the Cheshire cAt. All of the footage of littles smiling I’ve seen have bright and full smiles. Sally has a comforting soft smile.
Sorry if I left anyone out! You are all awesome! Thank you all, and keep doing what you do!!!!
I started crying when you were saying basically how strong we are that we survived this.
Ive followed DID for awhile now but recently got diagnosed with PNES (dissociative seizures) and so many things have helped that ive learned through this channel. Thank you kya and everyone else participating in the channel!
Kya for sure moves the head and brows more! Jade has an intensity in her eyes and doesn't blink as much! I feel like Ruby really comes through in the voice! Also with Kem I can't fully tell, it kind of feels like he fronts alongside Kya rather than fully showing through when blended?
I would definitely second singing as something helpful! It 1) gives you a sound to focus on in the present moment 2) controls your breathing so you don't hyperventilate 3) causes your brain to try and remember the lyrics 4) is pretty subtle as far as some grounding techniques go- people sing and hum to themselves all the time or you can sing along to a song you like, so others typically don't give it a second thought
Even the look in your eyes changed so many times
Love the plant wall you got up!
I'm so sorry you guys have had worse symptoms recently, you're handling it amazingly and it's so nice to see representation of more blendy days
Thank you so much ❤️ I think it's just a flare up because we had some good health days last week, but we're feeling better again now!
I love the plants in the background! They make everything more colourful in the scene and even though we as the audience may not see most of the rest of your house, I think it looks more like a home. I hope the cats and the plants are helping you guys go through everything you go through (I think the plants are also proof of your gradual growth past the trauma you’ve experienced.) < 3 all the love, my homies
its really important for me and other people that had traumatic events in our lives to have such pieces of informations to rely on when we are not ok. thank you for everything you do. I had a very hard time processing things in my childhood and a very hard breakup (being kicked of the place i was, being alone and abandonned in a fed hours). I had a lot of flashbacks and my actual bf helped me everytime. musics, soft fabrics, calm voice, squeeshing something helped for me not having panick attack in the end. It really helps to have people talkign about it so thanks a lot about every video like that. Love from France ✨❤
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When discussing memories and flashbacks seems to make sense how much Jade showed up to make it influenced and control the information
This just makes me want to hug you all so bad. DID is fascinating, but it’s easy to forget why it happens in the first place. ❤❤
I've only really accepted potentially having DID in the last week (despite being somewhat aware of it for years) and even right now, I keep coming up with reasons why this might not be true. One of those was having doubt because I'm having difficulty figuring out who's who, and what is really 'my' personality vs. things that I thought were my personality but were actually other alters' personalities bleeding through.There has been a lot of identity/pronoun confusion and feeling like I'm not doing this 'right' I keep on feeling like, 'xyz wouldn't be happening if I really had DID'. So I've been obsessing over this, and that I happened to see your video that had only been uploaded 3 minutes ago... thank you for this. We've been watching a lot of your videos lately and it feels very validating when I'm having these doubts to see a system that shows that blendy alters and not knowing who else is fronting sometimes is a normal part of this. Things that we are currently going through. I'm so glad that you have found these techniques to work together to ground the body. It gives me hope that one day, my system will get there too. 😊
You're so welcome, this is really common with DID and I think even more so in OSDD, you're very valid. ❤️
Of course this video would drop today. I just went through the worst flashback I’ve had in a while this morning and I felt so alone and degraded. Thank you so much for putting yourself out there, you honestly make such a difference in peoples lives. Thank you ♥️
Y’all’s office looks so nice!!! And so… you!! (if that’s makes sense lol) It matches yalls vibe. I’m glad that youre able to make your space a more comfortable and less triggering place to be in
Thank you! We were worried it might look a little busy?
@@DissociaDIDno it looks great imo
@@DissociaDID No not at all!! It looks soo good! I especially like the purple flowers you guys put up in the corner
Sending HUGE love for the chronic illness warrior status. I absolutely get it! Chronic illness isn't fun but it def makes the nice times so much more special when we can do them (and get beyond the other barriers). Sending you so many spoons I've stolen from the factory! 😂❤
I am so grateful for you all and the content you share to help others! I have C-PTSD and the intrusive thoughts/anxiety are just a bitch. Any resources you all share on how to cope with this kind of stuff is so appreciated 💜
Oh boy!!! So many videos lately😍 thank you so much guys!! Hope you're doing very well c:
Sometimes eating a snack helps me. A piece of candy, gum, chocolate, or something similar. I think it's because you wouldn't normally eat if you were fighting for your life, so it makes the body calm down, and realise it's not in danger
When you were speaking about what sally does when you go through a flashback that made me cry 😢 I wish I had someone that validating. Thank you for a great video
Jade has a very noticeable vibe (in a good way) and I could tell Jade was around the whole time. Don't know how else to describe it lol but i'm sure you know what I mean.
I don't have DID or OSDD but I do have anxiety and agoraphobia that causes immense panic attacks, so this was helpful to learn some more techniques to pull myself out of those anxious moments. I love to like give myself hugs, like what you said about comforting yourself/other alters. I always tell myself that in the end I'm always going to be here for myself and I can give myself the love I deserve if no one else will. Thank you for this video, and it was fun trying to pick out the moments where Jade or Ruby were being a little snappy in the video haha. Lots of love, stay safe. xx
😂 i can just feel rubys intense stare when y'all said people should get their head out of their ass.
The mix of ruby and jade feels incredibly powerful and claming, like no one could ever hurt me if theyre around me.
Thanks to everyone!!!
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Yay, the flower wall is up!!! Glad that the office setup is getting more personalized now. I'm excited for the (potential) makeover vlog!
I feel like one tell for Jade, that I've noticed whether she's fronting or through passively influence, is eyebrow movements, specifically arching the left eyebrow.
You can really tell there multiple people fronting in this video, it felt like a group of friends gathered around tring to help.
It felt like kya was trying to comfort and sooth, while Jade talked more stern to keep someone present and grounded.
I know it wasn't intentional but this video felt so warm and comfortable.
Thank you so much for sharing. ❤❤
so i came back to this video - as i thought you posted on sunday. the truth is i needed to hear someones voice. i've very sick with heat exhaustion, i think. -and needed to hear a comforting voice. just so happened this video came up at your advice at 12 minutes. Thankyou - this really helps the littles alone and scared.
How do you manage to reassure the viewer in a way that makes us feel like you can actually see, like you're speaking to me directly and exclusively, like you understand and your words are true? Almost teared up a little while watching. Much of the practical advice is hard to apply to my type of flashback because of how subtle and nonspecific it is, but I still felt strengthened by this video.
thank you guys.
So glad to hear this ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Remember when Jade made a video to show us how the system could mimick an alter almost to perfection?
Looking back to it, the transition was the most surprising moment, not the fact it wasn't Kya fronting. I realised that if you know someone with DID for a long time, they're tiny details that you unconsciously notice like eye contact, fluidity of movement, neck movements, subtle differences in patterns of speech etc+ je ne sais quoi.
In the video back then, "Kya" was a tiny tiny bit too intense, was not distracted enough by the cat, but you can't put your finger on it until she says "I'm Jade".
Heres it's kind of the same but more obvious . If you didn't tell us I'd be like "oh hi Kya!..... Is someone...cofronting ?"
I don't have DID, but I find your videos so helpful to cope with my past childhood trauma, my bipolar and social anxiety.
So thank you Kya and the rest of the System too. 💖
Eeeey fellow bipolar with childhood trauma
At the end when you mentioned another video you did with you doing commentary on a flashback you experienced, I just wanted to say I admire you so much for your vulnerability. Thats hard enough without having DID/another trauma disorder. But especially DID when its so stigmatized, and is being attacked more loudly than ever despite the growing understanding of it. You've been through so much in general, and so much of it at the hands of the internet when you deserve so much better, that it amazes me you still have the willpower to continue such deep personal work in front of us because you've decided that the awareness it spreads is more important. Thank you for all you do.
Thank you so much ❤️
Holy molly i felt Ruby stare into my soul when talking about friends having a problem with us having flashbacks or panic attacks 😭 even if I know it it's good to be reminded
I was able to see the blending with Kya and Jade because I am more familiar with them. For nonverbal, the eye blinking made it seem like you were reading from note cards. Thank you sharing! ❤
Any autistic person just hold contact. Hands, looped arms, touched feet, looped legs, looped bags you can pull against, tye your jumper sleeves together, anything you can think of. Lots of unfarmilliar touch in particular helps with grounding from flashbacks like water spritz and things. You'll be ok. You're ok. It will pass and it has passed. Flashbacks are only there because you survived and now all you have to do is process. The hardest part is over. Hold on you can make it I believe in you ❤
I've only been following for a short while in recent weeks (July 2023), and I'm hooked! I'm fascinated by the human mind, and thank you for your informative insight, psychological analysis, and incredible videos about DID, your DID system, and DID awareness!
Hi Kya, Jade, Ruby and Kem. Thank you for the video.
I hope you all feel better. Wish to you that days like were in previous video will come as soon as possible.
If to talk about blending. I think I am not good at this, but I will try to describe what I felt about this.
I felt a strong Jade's presence throughout the video. Keeps posture, not use gestures very much. In 11:47 I felt strong presence of Ruby, she really doesn't like disrespectful people. This is what I saw, at least.
Jade was so strong the first few minutes of the video and in the closing. Those eyes, strong and unflinching. Gentle firmness. Thank you, Kya, Kem, Ruby and Jade. Much love! ❤
Oh I can absolutely see & hear Jade and Ruby in the beginning. The way you're speaking and the way you hold your body and mouth when speaking. It's interesting to see and you can also see when it's more Kya fronting about 3/4's way through because it gets much softer.
Sending love to all of you and hoping your days to come are easier to handle. Lots of Love, Kya and Co.
Thank you for this video! ❤ I don't have DID, but I do have BPD, PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and more. I'm finally learning how to handle it when everything bubbles up, especially when there's no external provocation. But I love your videos, and I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am for you all - watching and learning from your experiences have helped me to recognize my own warning signs, and how to handle them when they show up. Sending tons of love...I hope you guys have been feeling better lately! ❤❤❤
A manager of mine who had a similar experience to me also let me know that she'd always have a water bottle full of ice at all times in case she had a flashback in public. She'd hold an ice cube for 30 minutes to help her because ur nervous system is focused on the ice and helps pull u out of the flashback or panic attack. I've done it a few times and it's helped me when I can't do other grounding techniques due to being in public.
Watching the bodies eyes in this video is *fascinating.* You can see the intensity of Jades eyes/unwavering eye contact and unwillingness to look away from the camera, vs. Kya’s softer/rounder looking eyes who isn’t as unwilling to look away if if feels natural. And the transition between the two. Its hard to tell if the in between points are part of the transition, or if they’re Ruby/KEMs eyes
I've had many panic/anxiety/ptsd attacks in my life, and my partner and I now have this instinctive "system" where if my breathing gets too rapid, they'll start audibly breathing at a deep and normal pace. My body, which now knows what to do even if I don't, will follow along until our breathing is at a normal pace. It's purely instinctive for both of us at this point, and extremely helpful
I feel like Jade is the most recognizable alter. It's more pointed and lower cadence when she's present. I also love how the flowers for the background turned out!
Idk if anyone will see this because this is an old video however I find that freezing a hot water bottle and hugging it really helps ground me and keeps me present ❤
Thank you for this educational video. Hope you didn't push yourselves too hard to film yesterday, remember that you don't have to post every week if you're not up for it! :) and I hope the flare up will subside soon❤
Thank you! We are already feeling a little better this weekend ❤️
"they should get their head out of their ass and support you in any way you need to be supported" best tough love quote of 2023 😎
I love that Sally does that for you all. It’s such a sweet and kind way to create peace. Beautiful really
Jade's eyes are slightly different than others. Not sure who talks faster than the rest but pretty sure it was Ruby who's going to "kick arse". Thanks for another great video.
Every so often, a vid like this comes up, and I realise how amazing and caring you (you guys? this system?) is.
That line, paraphrasing, "if your friends aren't supportive, think what would Disocidid think of you?"
It hit me like a truck, feeling that cared for by someone that doesn't know me. Thankyou. ❤❤
at 7 minutes THANKYOU. yes i'm back again a repetitive flash back that happens, quess when , when i lay down .
My goodness it’s been a year or two since I have really sat down and watched your videos. Kya is NOTICEABLY stronger, more confident, and collected. You seem so sure of yourself and comfortable and it’s genuinely so lovely to see
Thank you for being such an incredible resource. I asked my psychology professor if she wanted me to share information about DID I've found (what she was teaching was good, but a little out-of-date), and she said sure. I'm trying to figure out which of your videos would be best to send to her. They're all just so good! Great for education, and great for coping. Y'all are amazing. Keep going 💙
Thank you so much this is amazing! So glad we can be a helpful resource❤️
Right at the start it definitely seems like Jade xxx
I straight away noticed Jade's eyes. There's a power and connection with them.
hello to the system! i hope you’re doing alright thank you for all your videos recently! lots of love to you all ❤
This is exactly what my switches are like. My husband gets annoyed with me when I’m blendy like this. Thank you for all your content and helping destigmatize DID.
This is so fascinating to me, thanks for beint vulnerable and opening your life up to us.
Very educational. Much love, all of you 💘
The blendyness of this video definitely shows how everyone is starting to work together again. (If the body needs some time off, it's absolutely fine to take that time.❤)
If water is safe, my go-to place to flashback is the shower. It helps me ground I can cry all I want with no mess of tissue to clean up after.
If water is not safe I cuddle a stuffed animal or my cats and follow breathing techniques. I keep a stuffed animal in my bag, so if I'm triggered at work or in public, I can cuddle it to help me come back to reality.
I also talk out loud to myself if I feel one coming on to help my brain rewrite the memory. I say it like it happened to someone else, or I'm telling a story. That way, I don't relive any shame in the present.
I hope some of those tips help! I still have traumas I'm trying to learn to cope with at 30, but it's 100% worth the journey.
Tw: trigger response to being held
It feels surreal for me other people find squeezing or being held comforting. I even hate weighted blankets but it's amazing it works for so many people. I can't even stand wearing a turtleneck. And when people try to comfort me with a hug, I feel helpless, trapped, unable to move freely. And also, it triggeres tunel vision, I can't really manipulate my body, sometimes my body moves by "itself" to try to get out of it, I usually hit the person in the chest area to keep the distance and then I feel guilty because I hurt somebody that tried to help me or just give me a hug. So when I still can use my body, I just strain every muscle to not react. And that's why I don't hold the person back and then they are hurt again because I didn't do the basics of a hug. Because of the trauma that stands behind it, I feel like something was stolen from me. I would love to find comfort and grounding in a squish. It sounds so much easier than the mind games I have to play on myself to get calm.
So I've watched the whole video and you can definitely see the difference, you can see when it's Jade and when it's Kya. Really interesting thank you :) hope you're all feeling better today xxx
the way jade makes eye contact with the camera has always been noticeably different than others
It’s insane how smoothly kya’s accent comes and goes. I don’t notice until it’s in full force.
Oh wow, I've done Sally's song trick for years- I've never heard someone else do this before. Yes I find it very helpful and also tricks the body into doing breathing. After learning about our Pisces Moon, we started leaning into music emotionally and singing in general has become a very cathartic activity. Especially when it is safe enough to hit open diaphragm volumes.
I'm not sure if what I have sometimes are flashbacks or not, but I'll have very intrusive memories coming forward sometimes.
After your video on grounding, whenever I have that with my partner nearby, I'll start to caress or just run my hand through my partner's hair and it always helps. He tends to hold me close and talk quietly to me, reminding me that I'm okay.
Lately, he even started to snap his fingers in front of my eyes to call me back, whenever my mind starts wandering.
Yesterday, I had a panic attack and he hugged me and helped me control my breathing.
All that to say that there are wonderful people out there that will help you, even if you feel "broken", in a way. I feel very happy and lucky to have found some like that, someone who genuinely helps and listens to me...
5:00 getting so much jade here. the tilted chin and slight looking through the eyebrow, the eye contact with the camera, the very even and controlled tone, so many of her mannerisms come through
Ur sweater is cute btw and the office is totally coming together. Definitely noticed jade's facial expressions, voice pitch as well.🖤
The flower wall decoration y'all bought on your trip out looks really nice! I hope it reminds you of your strength and ability in overcoming your agoraphobia.
I noticed Jade’s gaze. She has a very steady,serious, gaze. And she just has a way to enunciate that I can’t really put my finger on, but I guess it’s her when I hear it for some reason!
If Kem is comfortable, can we please have a Meet the Alter video?
the odd part is, watching you i can tell jade is there even when the sentences aren't clipped short because jade just has this way of holding eye contact through the camera that just feels like it makes you want to pay attention more than you might normally.
I have the easiest time telling when Sally is fronting or co-con. She's so smiley, giggly and just happy. Her voice is much softer than Jade's, Kya, etc.
I "only" have CPTSD - my flashbacks usually involve a huge surge in shameful feelings and me speaking as if I were there, but finally being able to say what I wanted because in most cases when these instances of trauma were happening I wasn't able to talk back. I really feel it in my muscles, too. I tense all over, sometimes in short bursts, sometimes for a long time.
I don't know how else to describe it, other than that I just completely retreat into my mind, and that's why grounding helps: touching things, naming things around me, really feeling sensations and figuring out how my feet touch the floor and such. It took me so long to know what was happening, but I'm so glad that I know now. Knowledge gives me power and autonomy. There is something I can do, I don't have to be powerless like I was back then.
It's interesting to see other people describe how flashbacks are for them. To me, it's not at all the types of flashbacks that are portrayed in war movies. I forgot that sometimes people have violent outbursts during flashbacks until you spoke about it in this video. The same goes for dissociation - I had no idea what it was other than what I've seen on this channel, and I don't have DID - but my therapist pointed out that I do dissociate sometimes, but it's just different. It's good to know that there's not one size fits all.
Learn something new every day! :)
I just genuinely wanna say that I think what Kya and the rest of the system is doing for everyone that needs this information is incredible. Even tho I don't have DID, I do have severe generalized anxiety disorder and their videos help me so much :'). It's crazy cuz I found this channel through the Anthony Padilla interview and I thought this channel was only about DID but the system goes into so many more trauma related issues. At first I was just genuinely curious because I wanted to learn about DID but the more I watch, the more I learn and the more I'm grateful for all the materials that their system has given me. I think they're incredibly strong to have survived everything they've all been through and what they're doing for the rest of us that suffer with trauma related conditions is so helpful :(. Kya, your system is full of beautiful people and I hope you know how much we all appreciate and value your voices
I’m sorry to hear it’s been a rough week for you. I just want to show my support and let you know I’m here for you. With or without CZcams, I support you and your system. Stay safe! 💕