White Passing: My Tragic Family History
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- čas přidán 7. 09. 2024
- It is not only tragic but it is more common than you think. I don't blame my grandma I know she used her lightskinned status to try to operate in this world. I DO however blame society. This is why I use the term "white presenting"- passing has a history and a much more bleak meaning. I won't tell you what terms to use for yourself, but this was a big conversation on Tiktok a few months ago and I felt it would be good to share my family's history.
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My heart goes out to great-grandma who wasn’t allowed to love her own family openly. Not even her grandchild 😢😢😢
very sad for her...
So I'm south Asian and my husband is a mixed race Brazilian. I had absolute meltdown when our (very light skinned) daughter was put down as 'white' on her birth certificate. People tell me I should be happy about it. That it's good she looks white. So I guess passing is still a thing and it makes me feel like people want to erase me from her blood.
No!!!! Omg. I feel for you. I would be upset too, but even MORE upset at those people who told you that you should be “happy” about it. Like…what?!? As if being white is some kind of prize? Jesus.
My cousin's children say they are black. I told her that's sad because they're ignoring half of them. If I were their dad I would be upset. They're erasing the white part of them. Especially specially in 2023 why not just say you're biracial.
@@JeGaysus I can tell you're biracial. Idk why. Even though you're a ginger I can tell.🤷🏾♀️
@@renaissancewoman100 i dont think you get to tell ppl how to identify. Identifying as black, their experiences, treatment & lens they se through is that. It doesn't mean they are denying one side. What they are saying is they live in a world where they identify as blk. Many biracial ppl identify as one race more then the other based on experiences. It's not denial of anything. Ask yourself why you're so bothered by them seeing themselves as blk?
@@renaissancewoman100 Seems a little presumptuous to assume their father and his side of the family isn’t doing their part to teach the culture of whatever kind of European they are. There are times I say one or the other as it’s relevant, it’s not really appropriate to demand biracial people list off what they are (or even claim a culture they have no affiliation with if one family side is missing) so again it’s strange to assume the father has a need to be upset about anything because of how young children self identify in any given moment. You’re not even taking into account biracial people who come out looking monoracial and their lived experience and identity.
I don't give a damn what NOBODY says, when I see your family, I can CLEARLY see that you're mixed🤷🏽♀️. And I'm glad you recognize that & live in it. From the curly hair you get from your black side, to the fair skin & blue eyes you get from your white side, embrace it all! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Edit: I was reading over my comment and noticed something I said that to myself was ignorant. I stated that you got your blue eyes from your "white side" and that was inappropriate for me to say because although there are more caucasian people who have blue eyes than black people, there are plenty of black people who are born with and have blue eyes as well. Mabey my comment went over a lot of people's heads, I still wanted to rectify my statement because I realized what I said was pretty stereotypical 🤦🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️. Sorry bout that.
Exactly!, I see it too
💯👍🏾
Exactly. It's obvious to me.
a blackpeople who have blue eyes have european ancestry. Dont beat yourself up because other people dont understand genetics.
blue eye gene is only 10,000 years old, its from europe
@bev s Thank you so very kindly for enlightening me on this because I wasn't aware of that.
Wow, thank you so much for sharing this. As a black woman in a large mixed family, when I hear people saying that to you, all I see is my 6 year old nephew with gold blond curly hair, blue eyes, and a visibly black mom and older sister. He doesn't understand why he looks different or why people treat his mom (my youngest sister) or his sister differently or why some people don't believe him when he says she's his mom.
And the rest of our family is just as bad, singling him out amongst all his cousins to talk about his skin and hair like some exotic creature. He's not the only white/light skinned person in our family and among full white kids he always looks a lil tan but he's "special" because he came out a dark mother, smh
Leave the poor boy alone and mind yalls business. Keep your ignorance about genetics, race, and mmmmmm basic human decency to yourselves
Aweee 🥹 I can relate. And absolutely, let’s drop the preconceived notions, colorism, and everything that comes with it
People used to think my sister's kids weren't her own, as if she's a babysitter, not their mother, just cause they're mixed and she's white.
@@suzannax there is a channel on here called raising cultures. And this poor woman Hass to carry her adoption papers with her because people have called the police thinking she took her white child that she’s had since he was a few days old I think it’s absolutely insane that anyone has the right to come at anyone the mother, or the children because they look different, this is why in America we still have problems. People need to just start seeing people and stop coming at folks because your skin or their hair or their eyes don’t look right or look different! Love is love and that’s what we need to focus on!
That's so sad I'm sorry that happens to your nephew :( my good friend is mixed Native and is also super pale like I am but his mom who's the Native side looked full Native and people would always make jokes about if her son was really a baby she kidnapped 🙄 awful
That's sad. It doesn't matter what color the little boy is, if he's their family they should love him.
Your grandmother was SO BEAUTIFUL! As a black person who belongs to a "fair skinned" family, I can see how she passed back then. My father's family is extremely fair with straight to wavy hair. Many people think they are something other than black and my husband's family is the same way. A lot of people think my mother in-law is something other than black and my husband is either Dominican, Middle Eastern, Puerto Rican..etc....when he's just black. Many black people who were of a "fair" complexion in the 50s and 60s claimed to be Italian,which was acceptable and they avoided the sun at all costs. It's quite tragic.
People forget Blacks passed for Jews, Italian, White, Egyptian, Irish...whatever they could get away with
Based on what I've learned over the years, white people had a certain view of what Black supposedly looked like. Most Black people are able to tell. As soon as I saw your grandmother's picture that's the conclusion I came to. There's 2 movies on Netflix that deal with passing. My sister and I both were talking about how it's interesting that people in the Black community would just view them as very lightskin but were able to appear white in white society.
She looks black to me as well, but I'm black so I agree most black people can tell.
This was still very true in the South where I grew up. There were mixed kids that ALL the Black kids knew were just a couple of skin tones lighter (or hair had a little looser curl texture) but the White kids were COMPLETELY oblivious to the fact that they were mixed and considered them White. We never gave away the mixed kids' choice not to talk about it or announce it, but we were always bewildered by how they went undetected and thought that the White kids' idea of the Black phenotype must be very strict. There was even one boy who completely ostracized himself from the Black kids and only hung out with White boys, but he never told them. I'm sure they would have treated him differently if they ever found out. It was our collective unspoken secret.
I thought the same thing when he displayed his grandmother and father’s photos.
As a mixed Indigenous woman with fair skin and light brown hair, I get mistaken for being white all the time. It actually upsets me because I feel like people are trying to erase my family's history. I may look white, but I am Choctaw. Proud of it too
It's interesting how even now those of us who are mixed are still expected to prove it. Like am I expected to carry around a folder on my grandfather's ancestry because my skin is "too light"? It's ridiculous.
Why do you think it’s ridiculous when you got folks like Rachel Dola…whatever?
You look white. You have a larger percent of European in you for sure. Not sure who would be confused by your looks. I would ID your ass too. Some folks need to stop ignoring how much white ancestry they have.
@tiffanycford because the Rachel Dozel of the world are few and far between. Most people who say they are mixed are exactly what they say.
@@axollot maybe, maybe not.
@@Salutations26 I know what lady you're talking about, but she's very unusual, I don't question people's genetics, if they want to tell me, I take their word for it.
This is such an important video. As a clueless white woman who grew up in a mostly-white area, I readily admit that I have a really hard time identifying light-skinned Black people as Black or mixed. I was clueless that Meghan Markle was half Black when I first heard about her. I can see how people who didn’t know your grandmother’s background thought she was white. We see the world through the lens of our own lives, and it’s crazy how that influences our interpretation of reality.
What a heartbreaking story. Thank you for sharing. We need voices like yours so we can learn and grow and see more clearly the humanity in each other. ❤
Thank you!! And oh wow!! The Meghan Markle part of your comment surprised me to be honest lol
@@JeGaysus I know it’s crazy, but it’s true! When she and Harry got engaged and controversy erupted, I was like “wait, why?” and people said “She’s divorced and Black!” I honestly thought “Really? She doesn’t look Black…”
I know that sounds crazy and racist. I’ve always been heartbroken by overt racism and never considered myself racist… but over the last decade or so, I’ve recognized that I have to identify and root out unconscious bias/prejudice and stop any unintentional racism that I was previously complicit in. I’m trying really hard to see more clearly. Thank you for not criticizing/hating me for my comment. I can’t help but wonder how many “white” people out there are actually mixed and don’t know it because of hidden family history.
@@carols-corner Absolutely. We were all raised in a system of racism. No matter where you are or who you are. The powers that be have implanted unconscious biases into everyone. And recognizing that is how we concious my change it. I’m proud of you for knowing that 🥰
@@carols-corner acknowledging we have biases is so major in self growth, yet so hard for many of us to do. People like you are reasons to have hope in our future. It's not about perfection, it's about knowing that we will never achieve it and having the courage & wisdom to try understanding the areas where we fall short. And it's about compassion for others.
You seem to have all these, and serve as a great reminder to myself to never forget that while it's far easier to judge others, i have plenty to be judged for.
You’re assumption about Meghan Markle is actually a very, very common one! When Meghan was young, she didn’t tell people she was mixed. Everyone assumed she was white, and unfortunately, she felt uncomfortable telling them otherwise. Some of her teachers and classmates were tracked down after the engagement interview, and they said they always thought she was Italian. They didn’t know she was half black until they saw her mom at graduation. When she first started acting, she checked the box as being white. When she became more secure and started identifying as biracial, she told her agent she wanted to change her race to biracial on her portfolio. Apparently they were shocked she was mixed race. After this, Suits did an episode where Meghan’s character’s dad comes to visit her at work, and all her coworkers said, “I can’t believe your dad is black!” I think it was really cool that Suits wrote it into the show! All that to say, being seen as white has been a lifelong struggle for Meghan.
Thank you so much for sharing all this. People also think I'm boasting (like, how???) when I explain that I'm mixed. I'm the palest kid in my family, I got my dad's blue eyes, I absolutely look White... until I went to a town near an Oklahoma Cherokee reservation, and much to my surprise literally everyone was like "Oh, you're Cherokee." I kinda freaked out the first time. "Hooooow do you even know that???" White people were saying this to me! They said they can tell by the shape of my face. When you grow up around a race, you know what to look for.
So my guess is, your grandmother lived in an area where people didn't really know what "Black" could look like. They saw very little representation in the movies (most likely didn't have TV at that time) and what they saw there was very dark. So since she didn't look like THAT, she could say she's Italian, or Spaniard, or other "White" categories... I laughed at "Hawaiian" because my brother got profiled as Arab for YEARS (and death threats after 9/11) so when he moved to Hawaii, he had hoped to pass as Hawaiian..... and all the locals were like "You are definitely NOT Hawaiian, stop it." Luckily, they were cool with him being part Cherokee.
Were you in Tahlequah ? My Grandmother was from Henrietta, born in Paducah, Kentucky
My dad’s family have been playing the white passing game since the 1600’s. Your grandmother looks a lot like a mix between me and my great grandma Lena. We are European, African, & Native American with a rich hidden history in the mid south. We’re called everything from Metis, Melungeon, Redbones, Mulatto. It’s a huge hidden part of American history. Just today I was thinking about how hard it was to be too light for some people and too dark for others as a kid. It wasn’t till I met a Shawnee girl that I felt like I found someone I could relate to, then I met my best friend who’s 100% Scottish. She didn’t see with her eyes and it really took away my loneliness…made me more bold. Some people are just precious gifts!! 🥰
Love this . Was she The “Lena”?
I'm Melungeon ,too.
I posted my story in comments
Actually looking black is harder in society even to this day black and white ppl aren't very kind to dark skinned ppl. I'm the one that don't feel like I belong in this world.
I think it's important that you did this because your great grandmother deserves to be known for who she really is/was. I think your great-grandmother would be so happy to see this.
Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing this glimpse into your family. I actually used to nanny for a lady that was "passing" this was in 2016. She was from a small town, grew up watching her blk father be mistreated & picked on. Her mom's family disowned them since her father was blk. So she started a new life as a ww when she moved away. She was shocked when I told her she was black
I wanna hear more😅
Sounds like she is part black and part white. But why would you “tell her she was black”? Don’t you think she can decide for herself what her racial identity is?
@@Danielle-nz9tn I didn't tell her how to identify. She did tell me her story and why she'd the choices she made. Racial identity and feeling as thought you have to "pass for white" are very different. Her passing was a survival mechanism. She was literally shocked when I noticed she was blk. In 2016 she knew she was safer and would be treated kinder if she lived as a ww. Maybe question why she had to do that instead of asking me why I'm telling her to identity
@@user-rk6bf4hj4i I worked for a military ww2 officer vet toured China, mixed w the royals of Japan. He had me look at photos 70 years ago old. And loved to talk about his very capable adaptable beautiful buttemilk complexioned crinkly( slicked back haired) wife that was definitely PASSING. A creole. Did a fine job of it lived like a queen Great figure. Full lips. Looked like Sharde. He had no idea.
My son is biracial. When he was in preschool a teenager told him that I that couldn't be his mom because I'm white. Poor kid was absolutely besides himself. I had to go over and have a discussion with said teenager. My son knows he goes into society being viewed one way but he, like you, lives very much as a biracial person. He's not one or the other but both. And people will fight against that time and tell me "he's Black". Well no, he is mixed. That is who he is and how he lives and I thank you for making that space and bringing attention to those that are of mixed descent and choose to live with that truth. People need to accept that with more and more ethnically mixed children being born that we need to not force them into existing groups. If they choose to identify as such so be it. But it would be nice if more would accept these children and individuals for who they are as people.
To African Americans, she looks like a black woman.
It's just her nose.
@@AnastasiaLUVSU - And her eyes and particularly her nose and lips. To me, she simply looks like a fair-skinned Black woman.
Whatever it is, to me, she definitely doesn't look white.
@@lynneanderson4255 Drop the word "fair skinned". When you mean to say light skinned or white. White people hijacked the word fair, which used to mean beautiful in biblical days. And used it for themselves. If their skin is fair then what is ours? Unfair?...
As for her features it's honestly just her nose. Maybe her cheekbones too. She's got that white passing look Beyonce's mother had when she was young. Except her nose is more european.
On behalf of my mixed kids and grandkids however they will identify. Thank you. Also my nephew is mixed and his wife is blonde and white. Their son has long curly hair and blue eyes. I picture him looking like you when he is an adult and that makes me happy.. Thank you for sharing the deeper story.
She looks a lot like me!! There are so many stories like this. I wish more people looked into their family history maybe some of this hate will go away.
There was this amazing tourism place that went to old, white southern people and said "if we do a DNA test on you and find out you're part Mexican you get a free trip to Mexico." Most of them were almost insulted that someone would insinuate that they were anything but white. They did 6 tests and all 6 ended up having Mexican DNA in them. One man was even over half indigenous/Mexican and be had no idea. You could tell the people they chose to do the tests on probably didn't have very positive feelings towards south Americans and the whole time they were part of them. There's also a good story of a man in prison who ran the white supremacists Nazi group for decades and found out he was adopted and both his birth parents were Jewish.
So TRUE! I've Been Thinking 🤔Of Doing The Same & Posting It. For My Family & Myself. If Others Get Something Out Of It. Than GREAT! When Strangers Ask. What Am I Mix With? I Tell Them, "Slavery".🤷🏾♀️ As A Kid. I'd Take Offense😐 & QUICK! To Say. I'm Black✊🏽BUT! Am I???
@@lovelarai4387 I am so steeling slavery.
Please read my story in comments 💔
Have you ever seen The Imitation of Life? Your grandmother’s story reminds me of that movie
I was just going to say this! I agree with you. Both versions are great and everyone should see them.
Your grandmother was a beautiful black women. I knew you were mixed before I even clicked on the video to hear your spill ❤
His grandmother was a beautiful biracial woman. Since his grandmother married a white man that makes his daddy barely black and the black in him almost nonexistent. It only shows up in his hair.
Me to
Yup. He looks like Drake's son. 1/4 black...lol
Definitely look mixed but more on the white side but the hair does give it away
Same
I would love too hear more of her story . How did she tell her truth to your grandfather? How was her dynamic with her mother? This is such an amazing story. What is your father's birth story because this identity had to have an effect on her pregnancy ? I'm fascinated.
I want to know too
I'm also really interested in how his father was adopted, did she have him before she got married? Or was it a result of an affair or donor situation? Really interesting!
Your poor father. He is not at fault, but emotions do not work that way
Thank you for sharing your families story since it gives so much insight to how things worked back then in (I assume) America.
When you haven't seen a lot of non white folks, anyone lightskinned must be white. Your grandmother is beautiful! My mom is the first generation to pass, and my dad is the first generation to be considered white instead of Jewish as its own thing. My mom, last I heard, still bleaches her skin every fall becuase she's afraid of her summer tan sticking around "too long" and her patients and coworkers thinking of her as dark skinned. I'm very grateful that those outdated racial politics dictate my life less than they did my parents.
Yes, your grandmother is a very beautiful lady, she looks biracial. I can see how she can pass.
I see you're biracial. I see the black on your facial features. You're entire family is beautiful.
He's not biracial, his grandmother is.. He's barely black himself. And what so called black features do you see in this 80 to 90% white man? Cause I see none besides the curly hair. The truth is white people who look like him almost always have Some distant black ancestry. They just don't admit it. It almost always shows in their curly hair.
I agree that it’s clear that his grandmother was not a full Black woman, she was biracial and that’s why she took the chance to pass white. No full Black woman can pass for white…not possible. His father wasn’t biracial either as his father (this guy’s grandfather)was a white man. So this guy is majority white now hence he looks white in every way
I'm so sorry for your Dad not having the Grandma experience. I'm so GLAD that you are facing things head on! Your Grandma was a dooooll 🥰
Really interesting story! I can tell you as a very light biracial person, with more classically "black" features, people only see your skintone. I constantly hear "You don't look black." I definitely do.
Your hair is definitely giving mixed vibes!! I love your hair btw!! You should be proud of your lineage this part of your history is sad but it's the reality
Oh wow. Your grandmother looks like the women on my mother's and grandmother's side of the family. Some of my great aunts could have and may have occasionally "passed." Interesting story, and thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your family story / there is a huge cost in passing - one is severing their roots and connections - I hope your dad finds peace , because he lived out that cost of passing that wasn’t his fault at all . 🙏🙏🙏
Loved this! I also come from a pretty mixed family and never understood why my dad would deny his Japanese side and only claim black. Like you, I also felt like he was denying his mother, but he told me it was because his skin was darker and people would just “see” black so he didn’t bother with it, even though he looks just like my grandma.
Exactly… a part of the reason that phenomena still exists is people who look more like the one race, perpetuating the denial of the other. I look more Black & correct people when they try to categorize me. Lack of exposure is real. If people around are not familiar with a certain mix or know what to look for, they need guidance. It’s hard for me to imagine a part-Asian person not looking Asian at all. Most of the people I’ve met that are, look more or equal Asian as their other ethnicity(s). I just don’t agree with letting people think you’re full whatever, when you’re actually mixed. Huge discredit to who you really are. I could never do that…
As someone with a similar history, this has been so helpful and comforting (It's not just my family). Thank you for sharing 👏💞
I am mixed from three races as a Puerto Rican-Caucasian, Indigenous Carribean, and Indigenous African. I am white passing. My entire life I have been told "you look white for a Latina", "you speak English so well for a Latina", etc, and those, to me, are such ignorant statements, because so many of us are fair skinned-but that doesn't make us any less Latin, or Asian, or Black, or Indigenous, or anything else. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Edit: typo.
Your grandmother was a GORGEOUS woman! When I was growing up I heard rumors that my grandfather had married a White woman. So for the longest time, (I'm talking years) I thought he had a secret marriage prior to marrying my grandmother. As I grew older, I realized that so-called White woman WAS my grandmother. It's just that White people thought she was White. I find these family stories so interesting. Thanks for sharing!
You and your family are beautiful !
Your grandmother was beautiful. Thank you for sharing your experience. History shows us a lot about perceptions and have they’ve transformed over time.
Thanks for telling your story. Your story is a movie. Get every detail you can get before anyone passes away.Poor grandma 😢. I’m curious as to how she was treated behind closed doors.(when they weren’t looking)
Thank you for sharing. This was very common in my family from the 1870’s until until about 30 years ago. Your grandmother looks like my Aunt Betty. You have our hair. Only we have that thick tight curl. This isn’t a race debate this is his history. I’m proud of you and I thank you for sharing❤
As a gently aged Black woman, whose parents were both black, I have been constantly questioned about my blackness. I laugh as I type the words! Imagine asking any other person, “ Is one of your parents Wwhite?” Who would tolerate that? I never should have. I am the fairest of 5 in my family. I never noticed it, until I went to college and everyone was so nice to point it out to me. I wasn’t Black enough for this group and too White for that group. So I went to Choir, which meant Church which was a group that I WAS COMFORTABLE WITH . At the feet of the Lord I’ve learned more and felt the most accepted. 🥰
And you’re beautifully made. Don’t let anyone tell you what and who you are ❤
Such a powerful video! You represent your authentic self, and your ancestors so well 👏🏽❤
Thanks for the full version, I love your story ☺️
It is your history, your culture, and your DNA. It is really weird that people think it is a compliment to say you don’t look black. I think your mum looks black in the black-and-white photo but Latina in the colour photo. It is sad that she had to pretend to be “white” and deny her mum. Your poor dad not knowing!!
People are just plain awful and stupid. My super light older brother can pass for white in the 50's/60's. Like...I'm Black but there are people (mostly white) who will say "You don't act Black". I hate these backhanded ass compliments. BTW Being Latina/Latino (and ethnic group not race) and Black isn't necessarily mutually exclusive because some Latina/Latinos are Black or Mixed.
His grandma* is the one in the black & white photo
White passing people are majority European. His grandmother was 65 to 70% white by the looks of it. She has a black nose. But that's about it. And he looks 80% to 90% white. The black blood was very weak in his family by the looks of it. I don't claim white passing people. A small% of it is in his DNA. It's not his culture though.
I may not know right away, but if you said to me, “ I’m mixed”, I’d then get it. We live in a world where black is a range of colors, hair textures, etc. we have mixed folks like you, and half and half folks. To tell you that you don’t look black means that they don’t think you look mixed either. People have a narrow mind as to what mixed is, and since day one classify a mixed black person as black. They can’t be open enough to accept you into this engrained idea they have.
So trueee! Much love ❤️
I am half Nigerian half Irish and I have the exact same hair type and colouring as you! I also identify as mixed. My grandmother on the Nigerian side had a white father but he died when she was young and she never knew him really.
What you look like is just one side of the story - it’s an important side because obviously “passing” as white or not black at least does come with benefits - but also you need to consider how connected you are to your black family and culture. Just because I have light skin doesn’t mean I don’t know how to speak my tribes language, cook Nigerian food, and party like a Nigerian!
You're whole thread is incredible, the sad facets of history can and should never be forgotten. Your grandmother was so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.
25% Nigerian, we welcome you our brother.
Love your story. This should be a movie.
Adding to the THANK YOU's! I really enjoyed learning about your family. I feel bad just hearing about his great grandmom.... it had to be heart-wrenching for her e-v-e-r-d-a-y and your dads' guilt feelings? tragic is the perfect word.
I had a white American argue and condescend to me, telling me that I was not ‘allowed’ to call myself black. I’m an indigenous Australian and we have always been the ‘black fullas’ of our country.
I even explained that ‘black’ and ‘white’ differs in definition according to where you go in the world.
Nope, according to him, ‘only African Americans and Africans are allowed to call themselves black’.
He wasn’t happy when I told him he was pulling a major coloniser move by choosing my racial identity for me 😂
He promised that he had black friends, so he probably knew what he was talking about 😅
This was well done. I could definitely understand the value to passing, but feel sad of how large of a cost racial/cultural assimilation has on a person. I'm glad we're moving away from that a little more each generation. I'm mixed (black/white) but look like just about every stereotypical pic you find of a biracial woman. Which still leads to some shift in how I'm perceived based on where I live. My daughter is even more mixed (black, white, peruvian of spanish/indigenous mix), is a poster child for ethnic ambiguity, and it's been interesting to watch how society changes how it sees her as she grows....and how it changes how they see me because we assume racial/ethnic sameness in families. I would hope and work for her to have access to all that she is. To value that and to not feel pushed to let go of parts of her experiences just because others don't immediately "see" it.
I think this story says more about class than race. What no one is talking about is that his father was not raised to be kind and respectful towards "the help". How you treat janitors, maids and garbage collectors says a lot about you as a human being. I know instantly if you are honest, trustworthy and sincere by how you treat your maid, doorman or superintendent.
Thank you for making this video. I think back to stories I've read and heard of similar instances, where families keep secret the black/Asian/African/indigenous members of their families. It happens the world over.
I'm reminded of the novel Wide Sargasso Sea, the telling of the story of the "mad woman in the attic" in Charlotte Brontë 's Jane Eyre. A fictional character who had been the child of a white coloniser (probably plantation owner) and a slave woman, and who had been married off to another Englishman who, on bringing her to his manor house in England, and her having had a child with him, regrets his decision when she cannot adapt and shows signs of mental illness. He essentially shuts her up in an attic, but this act is to be his downfall. I shan't spoil it if you've never read it.
But as the wretched and tragic character of this terribly injured mixed race woman functions only as a symbol in Jane Eyre, Jean Rhys, a woman of mixed decent herself, penned her back story in Wide Sargasso Sea.
Likewise, in Greece, my home country, a nation occupied by the Ottomans for hundreds of years, there were always these stories of repressed histories. Women had to hide their children's paternity, or live with shame, even if they were children born of rape.
My heart weeps for such histories, but we must acknowledge them.
I always enjoy stories like this 😁😁😁
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my great uncle worked for Howard Hughes as an engineer got paid big bank . he was white at work , black at home. was good to his family his wife did not have to play demeaning games. He kept her in couture wear. Not a maid uniform.
Thats great that you are exposing the family secrets. I took a dna test found out i was 24% Scandinavia. No one in my family talked about the white blood in our family. We need to know what our heritage is. Im happy you know.
Your GG is beautiful. 💜 My daughter is biracial. She has a lot of similar features to her. Her hair is more like yours though. She's still trying to perfect the curly girl method that works for her. (Freshman in high school) It's been a journey trying out products. Thank you for sharing some of your family history. Love you JeGaysus. 🫶🏼
The last part was truly sad. My beautiful nieces are mixed aka biracial and I hope they're so very proud of all their heritages.
I love that you're sharing this. ❤
And I love that you acknowledge both sides. You have a beautiful family!
My paternal grandmother was fair skinned with light eyes and could have definitely passed as white in Texas but was proud to be black!
Sir you don't owe ANYONE an explanation, Someone will always have something negative or racist to say.... You are who you are, You are handsome and wonderfully made.. And your Grandmother was just beautiful.. God speed! ♥
"Yep, it's so tragic how people are soooo easily FOOLED these days. Looks are deceiving but the intent is CRYSTAL CLEAR.
So I was introduced to the term White Presenting which intonates that these were also protective measures and not used to deny our ancestry. Many places were dangerous to present as your true ethnicity so they had to "present" for there safety concerns as well as upward mobility.
So interesting! Thanks for sharing
She was beautiful darling. Now i know where u get your looks from. 😀 saying prayers 4 u. Love ya 💕 p.s. saw another fella today at the cafe who looks like you. Gee i feel blessed 🥰😆
No one ever accepts me as mixed because it’s 25%. I guess people don’t see it as enough. I’m glad to find someone else out there who is the same
Identity, and to identify, can be confusing and down right sensitive. How many times I've asked in the past what is somebody's nationally and the answers is almost always, "I'm a mutt." Then the conversation continues into a very long journey of lineage foot print of different nationalities. Humans are more alert than ever, right? This makes us super sensitive and nothing can shield us from the truth anymore. Anyways, do what's best for you but stay very true to yourself. Never compromise that because this is a beautiful piece of your family history Thank you for sharing it.
And Europeans think people from the Americas are super weird for that lineage stuff, from what I’ve seen them say online. And those lineages aren’t always right, either. I thought I was a couple that DNA and doing my family trees proved I wasn’t, like Dutch!
Posted this in the 1st video I saw putting it here as well.
My Grandfather was white passing being part American Indian & adopted by my Great Grandparents.
My kids are part Mexican & get told a lot that they aren't because they don't look it.
Sad that we have to look a certain way to be accepted no matter what decade we live in.
Thanks for sharing this story. We don't hear a lot about the psychological impact of passing, so thank you. IMO your identification of being mixed is a tribute to your granny as you're recognising her. It's amazing how nowadays your mother looks mixed or Black to modern people but at the time could 'pass' as white. Identicating that there has been some progress in how Mixed heritage people can present themselves to the world.
My father was from India of Sindhi and Punjabi descent. My mother was Ashkenazi Jewish of Austrian? Polish? Ukrainian descent. Growing up in the Bronx I was usually taken for Puerto Rican. Then I found out about how Merle Oberon who was also Eurasian passed for white and it cost her dearly.
I consider myself mixed, I'm all the things of my heritage.
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Exactly. Best way to put it. It is how you were made. Your heritage is mixed and you have every right to explore and share it in its entirety. Keep in mind that pre Jim Crow, and in times of slavery you would have been considered Black. You can look up plenty of “white passing” slaves if you would like. They resembled you or looked even more European. I bring this up because I don’t understand the race policing being done lately by both AA’s and white Americans. Considering the history of this country… and going by the rules of the Europeans who invented to the very concept of race in the first place… one drop rule was a thing. AND it does matter when looking back at our history. Our ancestors communities very mixed, multi racial and full of a diaspora of features. The way was paved by Black hero’s who came from complex family history’s as well. Passing after Jim Crow, allowed a lot of black folks a way out if they could pass. It also allowed people like Walter Francis White a chance to help pass laws and collect evidence on lynchings by working undercover with the FBI. He passed for white and would attend these “picnics” where the white community def had a no snitch rule. You should read the book passing by Nella Larson. The best part is the address by Nella before she gets into the story. 1’000’s of AA’s disappeared and started a new secret life in a short time span. She explains the phenomena of passing. People were escaping brutal conditions. The KKK alone lynched 4,000 people between 1877- 1950. Times were ROUGH. Another thing we need to acknowledge is that yes, people would leave their families behind to pass for a better way of life/opportunities only afforded to that of their oppressors. and their families /communities would keep their secret if it was their choice because it was DANGEROUS. If found out, sometimes people could be ostracized or even killed by angering their new white friends or families. But they did it for reasons like getting a better education, escaping poverty, achieving dreams/opportunities they blocked from…. some still sent secret money back home if they made it. We can’t view their mindsets/decisions without seeing it all through their lenses at the time. They were shaped and made by a totally different world than today. The fact that you have a white mother speaks to that! As that was even rarer in our histories. Most of our mixed ancestors come from white fathers. White women having babies would entitle their children to property and the chance to be considered white by law ( this is a whole other subject.) I studied this part of history and find it fascinating. This aspect of history is very nuanced and part of the rich history of the ADOS diaspora.
Your grandma is timelessly gorgeous
Truly one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen and seeing as how you have such a radiantly gorgeous soul, her insides must have been blindingly stunning also. So glad she's got you to tell her story and make her memory proud.
My heart goes out to everything you and your family has struggled with in this country and it just adds to the surmounting inspiration and moxie your work is injecting into our generation and the ones to come.
I agree with you Jegeysus, if you're half white half black then genetically you are biracial. When I say you, I mean in general to people that are mixed race. I think it's time for people to start embracing the word biracial and stop treating it like it's a bad word. I think if mixed people started adopting the word more frequently then there is no need to pick a side because you are BOTH!
By the way your grandmother was beautiful. She looks Hispanic descend to me. 🤷♀️
Check out the story of Roseanne Cash’s mom, who was Johnny Cash’s first wife. She passed as white. Her family was actually from Sicily, Italy. Roseanne had her DNA analyzed. Lo and behold, her background is significantly part African. Although Johnny’s wife passed for white at the time, pictures prove she wouldn’t pass for white today. She was quite beautiful.
It's so sad that people don't realize that the 60's weren't that long ago and society is still dragging it along. One day, color won't be an issue. I hope...
I stumbled on this channel in the middle of the night. I'm humbled by your story. Yes, your grandma is black and it's so messed up that your dad never got to bond with his grandma. But yes, I see you as a mixed race person. I love that you appreciate both l racial groups of both sides of your family and how you're here to tell us about it. And yes, I'm Nigerian by 33%. Here's to knowing our roots and being ourselves.
I'm half black and half Puerto Rican (black dad, Puerto Rican mom). People never know that I'm mixed until I mention it, because I don't 'look' it, same with my brother, who is darker in complexion than me. My mom would be considered what is known as Afro-Puerto Rican (Puerto Rican with African roots) and to this day, she still gets the "you don't look Puerto Rican" comments from people. Like, yeah, Stacey, not all of us come off the island looking like Jennifer Lopez. 🙄
I don’t see a white woman either! Interesting
You are just so beautiful.. Next time you come to Tampa drinks on me!! ❤️🤗❤️
But seriously, I have 3 kids, adult now, and 2 are by a white man and their complexion is like your stunning grandmother's was.. The kicker?? My 100% black child, idk if you can see my skin shade in my little thumbnail, is as LIGHT as my 2 biracial children and her father is just a tad darker than me! 🤣When you add black to anything, we can literally produce the rainbow coalition...LOL You are so amazing and thank you again so much for sharing this story.. I also hope your father is doing better with his past now... Stay Fabulous FAM!! 🤗❤️🌹
This story reminds me of A Jazzman's Blues.
I get it; I’m mixed (half and half) but I guess I’m Black presenting. But I was adopted and grew up with only white people, so as much as I’ve seen myself in mirrors and pictures, I don’t really identify as “Black” per se. Therefore, I’d rather focus on saying I’m mixed or a POC. Being Canadian, we have a box for people of mixed origins when we do the census or for any other identification purposes. I was surprised when I went to NYC a tad over 4 years ago, and I was picked by US Customs, and there was no such thing.
My son (being 1/4 Black) is White presenting (dark blond hair, blue eyes, light as a vampire!) but identifies as Black or mixed. While my daughter doesn’t identify as anything but autistic!
As for your grandma, we can see the features it you’re looking, she looks “exotic”. But she is somewhat white presenting; so I can understand that she was able to pass as white, and what that might have made her life somewhat easier, especially in the time period you mentioned.
Beautiful woman, that’s for sure.
The correct term is biracial. You are not mixed... You are biraical. Mixed people are admixed. Which means has a few things in their blood. Or someone who is pretty much just black but has some white or whatever else in their blood. People who are admixed have distant mixed blood. It's not recent like yours.
@@AnastasiaLUVSU The reason why I prefer not to use the term biracial is that I’m not found of the concept of race. Period. Ethnicities: yes. Races: no. As someone born in the 70s who had books about races where they would used colors (as in yellow and red beside black and white), this whole system is ridiculous. I’m from the human race.
But from your concept, my kids would be mixed, “racially” and ethnically as their father is a mix of Dutch, Ukrainian and French Canadian (distant background from France) but all Caucasian, and myself a mix of French Canadian (Caucasian but historical background is unknown) and Democratic Republic of Congo.
“Race” is a concept that we don’t use as much in Canada 🇨🇦 as it is in the US.
i didn’t see anything white “presenting” in the picture of his grandmother. not even exotic. like him, i see a black woman. also like him, i thought, “HOW the HELL did she pass?! and with WHO?! because she is clearly not white!” and yeah…in your thumbnail, you look (unambiguously) black.
@@wahoo4uva As I said, I know what I look like. I’m fair, but my features and my hair is 4C, so I can’t get away from that except with a great flat iron job. But I’ve come across lots of people who aren’t Black who have actually darker complexion than me when compared. And a lot of people who tan a little get darker than I am. I’m just brown enough to help against the sun and its effect in terms of aging skin (cause I do still burn with no sunscreen). I’ve actually been mistaken for lots of ethnicities that are not predominantly Black. But I have no personal experiences in Black culture. I grew up with White parents, in an all White population, in Canada, 3 hours north of Québec City; I met my first fully Black person I was 16! I never tried to pretend I don’t look “Black” but that is just in appearances. The whole race theory is a ridicule concept in my opinion. Hence not considering myself as “Black”. I’m a POC, that’s it. And where I reside now, still in Canada but in Southern British Columbia, there are so many immigrants (recent but also from a few generation ago), mostly Asians and South Asians, that being a POC is basically the default. So I just kind of blend in.
As for his grandma: he knows. Once you know, you see what you want to see. Women would wear light foundation, stay out of the sun, etc. Now my adoptive mom is very very w
White, her hair is white now but her natural color was platinum blonde (her and her 5 siblings born in the 40s were all blond), blue/greenish eyes…she has reactions to the sun. So she’s was and still is extremely fair (note, so is my biological mom born in the 50s, but with brown hair). Now the reason why I bring that up is that I’ve seen several pictures of her from the 60s, in both B&W and color: the style of pictures and the tone of the pics, it’s similar to the picture of his mom he’s posted. So my point is that looking at that picture from then with a contemporary eye can be bias. My mom complexion looks darker on those pictures than she was/is in real life.
@@wahoo4uva Plenty of biracials look black. That's the most common look next to the obvious biracial look. The less common one is white passing like the Rashida joneses and Mariah Carey's.
I love you attitude!! Just subscribed. Really interesting family history. I really feel for your father who never knew the “maid” was his grandmother. The story of your grandmother passing for white sounds so much like this old movie “Imitation of Life”. It had singer Mahalia Jackson in it as the dark-skinned mother of a daughter who passed for white and led everyone to believe her mother was the help. You should check it out
Perfect black history month post!❤
Bless your heart for sharing!
I just spent the last few days delving into my fam history. It wasn’t just POC passing for white. My fam narrative was always mixed black and Indian. We assumed that meant Native but we have very little Native American dna ancestry.
Not surprising, there’s a long history of black folks who pass that narrative down for a variety of reasons. Not to mention the black folks enslaved within Native tribes for generations who have been fighting to be recognized as members.
Turns out, there was a whole other explanation. Some of our ancestors were southeast Asian type of Indian.
In the decades following immigrating they appeared in the pre-revolutionary census as “mulatto” and “free colored” folk post revolution.
There are so many stories of these people who didn’t fit into the black/white narrative we are often taught in school history. It’s important to share them so they don’t get lost and so we can remember our ancestors many different journeys.
Stay Mixt y’all❤!!!
-Btw got that spelling from an 1800s census record of my family, thought folks here might enjoy-
Thank you so much for this video - I have been looking a long time for in depth real life experiences of this situation and look forward to exploring your other videos etc. Hope one day your father realises he has no guilt to burden or absolve himself of - he simply did not have the information and lived accordingly by the info he was given [easy for me to say from a distance I know]. Have you seen the 1950s film 'I Passed For White' - probably some similarities w/ your grandma's exp., deep subject matter but film does not really delve into the issue. So does your family talk openly abt this now & how the 'Colourism' issue has developed into the mess it is today? Again thanks💙.
Before the days of television, it was easier to pass, even if you didn’t look traditional “white”1) They purposely kept LS black people off tv and film because they often filmed looking “white” against DS black characters, but since they were not “white” they were denied roles for white characters.
So most people who never were around Black people much, associated them with always having dark skin
2) Quite a few white people were invested in Blacks and other people of color passing. So they assisted with keeping the ruse or were indifferent and didn’t harass them.
Many passed as Greeks and Italians
@@dontbelongherefromanother True. My grandfather passed for Italian frequently and it helped him get jobs.
I haven't yet seen any comments about treating "the help" or a maid or even a butler, cook, housecleaner, lawns keeper, etc., so poorly. (Expand this list to include ANYONE who provides you a service of any kind.) It is unthinkable to consider oneself as "superior" to another. Regardless of familial ties, one should always treat others with: dignity, respect, compassion, kindness, and, if you dare, Love. Yes, I know how Pollyanna and naive this might sound; but, allow it to sink in, to percolate, to resonate. Unless you are a sociopath or psychopath, or devoid of empathy or the ability to be even the slightest bit objective, you might understand this as a genuine appeal. A prayer if you will. Thank you for reading.
Your grandma is so beautiful 😊 I hope you and your lovely family have a wonderful day.
Your hair when it was DRY was a dead giveaway!..WELCOME BROTHER!
Grandma looks like me, a lightskinned black woman, with pressed hair. When I wore curly or wavy weave Spanish speaking people would speak Spanish to me. There is no way anyone would call me white. But society was different back then. Either way, Grandma was beautiful.
She's mulatto actually. At least that's what she would have probably been called in the South. My grandmother on my father's side was called mulatto because her father was light skinned most probably passable. She always joked how he could walk the streets and speak to the white women was a black man of her times could not. I remember we'd laugh at the stories. For me it was until we moved down south to live that I realized the reason why she thought it was funny because he father was Jewish and her mother was black. She was according to the 1920s census consider mulatto. But he was consider white because his father was Jewish. We are all mixed no matter what race we're called if we dig deep enough we'll find out where our roots are from. Enjoyed you family history.
Freaking love this!!! I come from a family that has been mixing for over 100 years also. People are highly uneducated. (Found you on IG btw) First, concerning your grandma, who is drop dead gorge, during that time there was a set "black looking/black beauty" standard that's different from today. Most black people at that time would have known that she was passing. Even today if a person is well read and in the know can see a person like you and easily speculate your blackness/mixed-ness. But white eyes were not really trained to know the difference and if you had fairer skin (and really made yourself look white as possible) and a "white-ish personality and proper speech" you could get away with passing. Some sneaked around with black friends and family. Some abandoned the community fully because of the risks. As for as the other comment that says you don't look Black AT ALL, is an indication of that lack of education and knowing fully what biracial children looked like on plantations all the way up to today. That person must not know mixed people. In their eyes they have a perception of what black looks like to them and it's such a narrow lens.
You know he has mixed heritage by his thick curly hair. That alone is a give away. Every elderly white person will tell you this
As an actual black woman, I can say that your grandmother doesn’t look like a 100 percent black woman. She looks Samoan, or like she’s some sort of Pacific Islander, or very mixed herself at best.
Yea. The typical Polynesian can pass for blasian. They have very afro features. Many of them. I can see the black in her. But not her grandson.
There are fully black women that look like her. Her hair may also have been processed.
@@lailaalanna315 There's no such thing. You can't "fully black" and look damn near Caucasian. It doesn't work like that. That person has European blood. Obviously. Stop ignoring the white genes.
@@lailaalanna315 Honey you clearly don’t know what “fully” black women look like if you think that.
Neither do you because she definitely looks like plenty of fully black women with lighter skin.
You are beautiful, as a ginger Native American I totally understand. ❤️
Ginger Native American? Lmfao. You're a descendant of europeans. Real natives don't have Red hair. Or any other telltale European features. You must be one of those 5 dollar indians or a biracial.
I’m a Black woman. Your grandmother looks Black to me and you definitely look mixed. Thanks for sharing your family’s story.
Ssssssoooooooooo beautiful yet so sad. Have you ever seen Imitation of Life? This definitely has those vibes. I cannot imagine not being able to love on my grandson because he thinks I'm the maid. Well they all think I'm the help because I keep cleaning up behind them but this is so tragic 😢😢😢😢😢
Your grandmother Gina looks similar the the actress Jill Marie Jones from the tv show Girlfriends. Beautiful. Maybe a little like Selma Hayek?
I've heard that many times the story told by those who were white passing was that their grandmother was a "Native American/Cherokee Princess." Because being part of some mythical royalty of American history was "exotic" and acceptable as opposed to being in any way black.
I'm so sorry people have tried to tell u who u should be. U r EXACTLY who u R.... and thats beautiful. I too have experienced similar experiences. Ur ethnic identity belongs to U alone
XX ❤
I came across this video, your family is beautiful but your merch is the best merch I've ever seen! I love it!
AWESOME video. Very generous of you to share.
My family recently had an Epiphany. We read the back of an old ( 1910 ) photo of the freed slaves, William and Mary, who , we thought, were share croppers working on my Great Grandmothers farm in Kentucky.
GrandMa was petite and olive skinned, a descendant of Portuguese ancestors.
She married my Irish Grandfather who was blue eyed and fair haired, as am I.
Well, the hand written script of my Grandmother says on the back of that photo, " Great Grandfather William and Great Grandmother Mary ".
Named after the late King & Queen of England.
My Grandmother was born in Paducah, Kentucky, a place where the Melungeon Tribe thrived and is known for. Melungeons are descendants of Portuguese North African slaves and Southeastern America Indigenous peoples.
Our DNA tests confirm this, and to say we are saddened that our dear Grandmother could not reveal this truth during the Civil Rights Era, in which I grew up, for fear of our safety,
I suppose. Heartbreaking, that I could not revere and claim them until now, One Hundred and Thirteen Years later.
Another dynamic is that a lot of folks that passed didn’t have children or if they did they had one because they didn’t want their genes to show and pop up again
I understand this, especially what you said at the end. My story is very similar, however I’m not black, I’m white standing Native American/ indigenous.