Life’s an Obstacle Course - Here’s How To Navigate It | Maryam Banikarim | TED
Vložit
- čas přidán 12. 02. 2024
- "Instead of seeing life's challenges as obstacles, I see them as an obstacle course - a fascinating array of tests that I'm curious to see if I can pass," says community builder Maryam Banikarim. Telling the story of her experience emigrating from Iran as a child, Banikarim shares how her search for belonging led her to realize that community can help each of us overcome life's hurdles.
If you love watching TED Talks like this one, become a TED Member to support our mission of spreading ideas: ted.com/membership
Follow TED!
X: / tedtalks
Instagram: / ted
Facebook: / ted
LinkedIn: / ted-conferences
TikTok: / tedtoks
The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world's leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design - plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.
Watch more: go.ted.com/maryambanikarim
• Life’s an Obstacle Cou...
TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution-Non Commercial-No Derivatives (or the CC BY - NC - ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: www.ted.com/about/our-organiz.... For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at media-requests.ted.com
#TED #TEDTalks #personalgrowth
![[WE ARE DIPLOMATS Korean Version] 2024 한-아프리카 정상회의 : 한국과 아프리카, 우리가 연결한다! 한국과 아프리카를 잇는 디플로맷들을 소개합니다](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Pkz5UH0d1KI/mqdefault.jpg)
This feels like I just watched someone humble brag about their accomplishments. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that she was able to overcome adversity. Her family clearly had the resources, the language, the connections.
I just wish the obstacle course I’m dealing with weren’t related to crippling health, being a single child with an unemployed parent who doesn’t have the language to get a decent job.
Still, I hold onto hope and the decisiveness that I CAN get through this.
Or you can depend on yourself and allies you find to get through, instead of relying on fantasies.
I’m with you in the struggle and wish us both and all strength to persevere.
👏👏👏👏
Right? “I’m a gregarious problem solver! Look at me!!!”
🤮🤮🤮👍
You are failing @tedtalks if this mediocre narcissist is any indication. Yikes.
Dear Cynthia. You are right that we had some resources (but for sure no connections/network)... but moving to the US in the middle of the hostage crisis was for sure not fun. When my father drowned unexpectedly, that was another earth shattering moment. I was fortunate that my college stepped in + I was able to get student loans and finish. In the end there is always struggle... that's the nature of life increasingly. I wish you the best.. + I believe that you can get through it.
I wish you confidence and hope. My story is closer to Maryam, my partner's is closer to yours. We made it. Persistently trusting others and building your social network is the foundation of this. It is counter intuitive and very difficult, sometimes sense of belonging doesn't come, sometimes you fake it. It does help in the end.
00:00 🏡 The speaker describes their childhood in Iran during the Iranian Revolution, highlighting the tense atmosphere and personal experiences.
01:57 🌍 The family faces upheaval due to political turmoil, leading to relocation and subsequent challenges.
05:09 🎓 Despite cultural and social hurdles, the speaker adopts a resilient attitude, actively participating in various activities to integrate.
06:01 💼 The speaker's professional journey involves climbing the corporate ladder, encountering setbacks, and seeking belonging through work.
08:00 🗽 Amid the COVID-19 pandemic, the speaker contributes to community resilience efforts in New York City, fostering a sense of unity.
10:01 🌱 Reflecting on societal challenges post-pandemic, the speaker emphasizes the importance of overcoming obstacles and fostering belonging through community engagement.
It is true she made a lot of effort, but now the economic and security situation of Iran has become much more difficult for people than before. What if she lived in a normal family? Was this way still open to them? I am much younger than her, but still, our current education system is worse than before. The situation of 90% of people is not such that she can go to English class.
I just hope that one day Iran will be freed from the oppressive regime.
Why do i feel like i I just spent over 10 mins listening to someone talking through their CV
I'm sorry you feel that way. My intention is to help -- share a coping mechanism that has helped me.
Not too much to take away from this one, felt like a brag to me
Loved hearing your TED talk Maryam!
I think her speech was so impressive.I want to hear another stories of her.
I appreciate her effort but this is more braggy than enlightening.
This was so timely for me. Grazie!
I am so glad. Thanks for watching.
This is a very timely message for me. I just got hit with a huge obstacle and I have no idea how to beat it. I can only move forward. I'm still working out how.
Stay strong
Same, same, same.
Sending you much love. And YOU can get threw it. For me, it was only later in life that I learned to ask for help -- often there are those in your community willing to support you... but I wasn't comfortable asking for a long long time.
I liked listening to this lady's story.
Thank you for watching.
Greetings from algeria ❤
Greetings from Chicago!
Hello! Fond memories of the windy city.
Interesting perspective..
Many sink or swim moments :)
Beautiful human being ❤
She was born and raised rich
What a speech
Thank you! I very much appreciate it.
This is an excellent presentation, a message that truly addresses our human-ness. A moot point though, America is a nation of immigrants, therefore it is understandable that many of them experience non- belonging -ness. Especially when faced with earth shifting obstacles on their life’s journey !! 🤔
Thank you for your kind words. Humanity is where its at :)
🙏🏻I rarely get sick in the sea. In a way. We're in the sea of humanity. The sickness of sameness's sanity? Once you take a bite you've bitten.
VERY INSPIRING story from an accomplished soul groover!
nice? i'm absolute agree with here
Thank you!
Beautifully presented.
It was heartening to see a woman talking about escaping the Islamic revolution in Iran, wearing a red dress cut above the knee.
Although it is obvious that the family was well to do and well connected that they had the option to live first in Paris, then in an affluent community in California. It's not the pit that a lot of refugees suffer and we all know success breeds success but this is still a recipe for community, collaboration and communication. Everything that is wrong with inner city isolation and hostility can be relieved with these three things except bigotry and belligerence.
My hope was to share some of the coping mechanisms I developed out of necessity in order to survive. Yes in the scheme of things we were fortunate. Years later when my father drowned unexpectedly I kept saying to myself, "I was fortunate to have had him for as long as I did." And it was very hard... it turned our life around again... And in the end its the humanity that we find in each other that has helped me through... thank you for watching and sharing your thoughts. It means a great deal.
Making your sense of well-being contingent on the approval and acceptance of others is not a new strategy. That's pretty much the status quo in the social media era where people seek belonging through online communities. Some of those communities are downright miserable and hostile to the outside world, but they have a sense of community within them. This strategy for self-regulation is not ideal and can be associated with various forms of mental illness like histrionic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder. It signifies an unstable sense of self-esteem with contingencies on success and belonging. A better approach would be what researchers call "hypoegoic self-regulation" where you act according to principled reasons, and do not focus on reflected self-appraisals from others. Ironically, that is what those Iranian guards were doing when they said dogs are harem. They were living according to a set of principles. But what those principles are and how they are derived is kind of important. With respect to Islam there is an understanding of the nafs, especially among the Sufis, that the human ego is considered illusory and the basis of all psychological suffering. If true this could explain why hypoegoism is found to be the best self-regulation strategy. Basically it just means you don't think about yourself in every situation and experience the fear, anxiety, rejection, etc.. of that perspective, and instead live in the moment and act appropriately to the circumstances and your guiding principles. The more you focus on your own situation the more feelings like fear and rejection play a role in your experience. Something to think about anyway. Would recommend reading The Handbook of Self and Identity and Handbook of Personality and Self-Regulation by Leary and Hoyle respectively. They will provide a concrete understanding, and evidence, for why these are not great self-regulation strategies.
Of course I was moved by your story, who wouldn’t be?
I feel for all of us struggling day in day out with the “IS.
Sucks and not in a nice way most times.
Now struggle like that and even if you never give up you
still cannot win. Just square your shoulders chin up
take a cleansing breath and head back in win lose or die.
You will never be defeated if you do not lose your sense
of humor. Joke is on them because they will never know.
I often used to make light of some of the painful things that happened to me along the way -- if often stopped people in their tracks. But it was a coping mechanism that helped me push through. Thanks for watching + sharing your thoughts.
TED became very weird lately
Say more...
Why?
why
This made me feel bad about myself.
"Just be type A" lol
There is no question that I was type A -- my kids will tell you that every day!
CZcams mods come quick, this woman is wacking off to her own ego for more than half of this video
I disagree with this POV.
Of course... we will not always have the same POV. Would love to hear how you deal with things that might knock you sideways. We can all learn from each other.
“Your search for belonging” I can tell this is unfathomably booboo from a light year away
Read the bible and follow the instructions!!!
Book of job😂
Pretty sure 99% ppl will give up in his situation
In my opinion any god has to be proven to exist before its scripture must be followed. And, as a black woman I have enough misogyny and racism without it.
Religion is a lie. God is within us.
Eh??
That was awesome. Thank you goddess. Community.
One consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. Sui generous perspectives as the universe has solved for everything. One energy connected in a fashion called entanglement. I am sentient consciousness manifest in holographic fractal dimensionality as energy. I can neither be created or destroyed, only altered in form. As above, so below. As within, so without. A grain of sand in the universe, a universe in a grain of sand. All is in everything, everything is in all. I am that I am. I am.
Namaste. In Lak'ech Ala K'in. Tathata. Shivoham. Ashe.
Thank you -- community :) is where its at.
@@maryambanikarim684 Much love ❤️