My junior year of high school I decided to watch all these videos, and realized that I had every single symptom of anxiety and depression. I talked to my parents and they didn't believe me until a year later, when my doctor diagnosed me with severe depression and extreme anxiety. These videos helped me know that the way I was thinking wasn't normal. Now I'm medicated for it, and scishow saved my life.
@Sean Brogan the original comment is a year old so you're probably not gonna get a reply bud 😐 if they're diagnosed w major depressive disorder and medicated now good for them
I have the opposite problem I have major depressive disorder and general anxiety disorder but I feel like I have something else going on that I can't explain or voice and I can't figure out what it is I've tried everything my doctor told me and everything I can try and my mdd and gad don't get better
Having a cold or cancer doesn't mean that your natural state is having a runny nose or a tumor. The _experience_ affects your personality: your tastes in art, your politcs, your philosophy. The symptoms themselves are just that, products of a process gone wrong in some part of your body. That's what I've concluded, so far in my life.
There's an Icon For Hire song that embodies this sentiment - It's called "Supposed to be" The main chorus goes: "When you take the sick away, who am I supposed to... be...." (insert rock-like vocalization and instruments) I like to see it like this: Identity is complicated and is a combination of both your choices and your circumstance. So trying to figure out what is "really you" is both futile and pointless... because you are a sum of everything that has happened to you AND how you reacted to it. And there isn't really a right or wrong. Hope that helped (doubt it would have though... I still get identity crises often enough).
OMG!! I said the same thing to my psychiatrist and he told me that his job was to go through all my thoughts and help me figure out which ones were mine and those of depression and anxiety Then he travelled and now I am alone and can't and don't want to find a new one🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I have struggled with mild depression at least since middle school, if not my whole life. (I wasn't diagnosed until I was about 21.) That phrase -- "mild depression" -- is a bit problematic. Yes, it's more mild than some people have it, but I still wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. "Knowing" that you're a terrible friend to the people you love, "knowing" you're worthless and drag everyone down with you, having days where you're curled up in the fetal position crying because you feel like your head is going to explode from the internal struggle of "knowing" terrible things but also trying to convince yourself it's not true... I may not be suicidal most of the time, but I often envy those who are for having found a way out, and the very fact that I feel that envy can be terrifying. So TL;DR: even mild depression is an awful, terrible thing, a mental parasite, and the better we get at treating it, the better we become as a species.
I recently decided to start seeing a counselor at my university mainly for my anxiety, but to also get help for what I fear is mild depression. Because a lot of what you said rings so true for me. While I do have more good days than bad, the bad days hit hard and I struggle to get out my room with huge bouts of apathy and worthlessness, to the point I cry. I can still get out my room during that period but I ain’t happy to be out. I kept convincing myself I don’t really have depression because I can function but I finally came to the realization that having so many thoughts of worthlessness and self-loathing _probably_ is not normal.
The dangerous thing about it is that it's easier to be dismissed as "personality", "character trait" or "laziness" by the patient, and prevent them from realizing that they need assistance. I know people who think that depression is not being able to get out of bed and staring apathetic at the ceiling - while they suffer from dysthymia and put the blame on themselves for being "weak". I strongly believe that the this version of depression need its own, seperate awareness efforts.
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with depression, if you are not seeing someone you might want to try. Not all therapists are equal so try until you find one that works. Also, from personal experience, I know that trying to tell yourself that something isn't true is very hard when it feels like it's true. You could try re-framing, like, if a friend behaved this way to me how would I respond? Did I do this with any bad intention, if not, can I learn something about this situation (that I created with good intentions and the knowledge I had back then)? If it was your friend, what would you tell them? There are many ways out, you got this
@@visitishigaki Thanks :) I've been through three different therapists. The last one seemed wonderful, and then my finances ran out and I had to stop seeing her. When I was able to come back, something had changed; she seemed to bring everything back to my job as if that was the only problem in my life, and when I tried to ask about other things, she'd just say stuff like, "when you get a better job, you'll have more confidence, and all this will go away". When I finally got a new/better job, she told me she didn't think I needed her help anymore, and at that point I figured she wasn't helping much anyway, so I haven't seen a therapist since. Maybe I should try and find another one eventually.
Explaining what depression feels like to someone not going through it is sort of like trying to explain the colour blue to a person born blind. (or maybe i just don't have the vocabulary)
Ive been able to describe it to many people and they get exactly what I mean, because I've had alot of time to think and know when i'm depressed because I have alot of the problems he described in the wierd symptoms part of the video. I tend to blame myself for alot of what goes wrong "you didn't win because you haven't been practicing and weren't paying attention (as usual)" vs. "You didn't win because this game is really RNG based and is BS like that sometimes." Not only that but when I'm depressed I have to take notes almost constantly, ask people's names MULTIPLE times (sometimes I can't even recall facts about myself I should know instantly like date of birth or medications im taking, which aren't alot) and if it gets really bad I'll have trouble writing and forming sentences or getting my ideas down be it on paper or in electronic form. I've known all of this this about myself for years, yet it sounds like science is just starting to catch up.
@Dark Vulcan I think command over the word (spoken and or written)*, is one of the fundamental liberties a person can achieve for themselves. I hope being able to vent that makes you feel better.
@Eric Woodley How would you describe what that makes you feel from the inside though. When i was a kid, i used to hold a glass to my lips, enveloping it then sucking out all the air till it stuck on my face till my mouth and lips hurt and tingled (i was a dumbass, am). To me that's kind of how it feels, inside, a sort of suffocating vacuum that's peeling the paint off the walls for no reason that goes on for weeks on end. As i understand it different people experience it differently.
I am depressed and have been for a long time. I feel there is hope for generations to come, and that's good. I just wish science could find a cure in my lifetime.
Most crucial years of my life has been totally wasted due to depression and anxiety, I hope science finds cure for at least next generation, as I don't see any cure in my lifetime
The treatments and therapy you highlighted, while promising, are more than likely not covered by Medicaid. People in lower socioeconomic standing would be lucky to get five minutes with a psychiatrist. A catered program isn’t possible with that as a condition. There is a darker reality to mental health treatment that is subject to how much money you have and where you live. So while the science may be there, the access is not. Love the channel. Just wanted to add a bit of perspective.
This is so very true. I've seen vastly different outcomes in people who suffer from mental illnesses, including myself, depending upon their financial standing at the time at which they sought treatment. One of the worst aspects of mental illness is that it can make it difficult to hold down a job, which makes it difficult to access and afford treatment, which makes it difficult to find a job, which makes it difficult to... you get it. It triggers a downward spiral in which worsening finances and worsening symptoms drag people further and further away from regaining their health. Then, when (and if) they do get better, the dumpster fire of bills and their careers are waiting for them... at a time when they may be too fragile to handle that added pressure. It's a terrible cycle.
It's really unfortunate that so many Americans don't have basic healthcare. I can only imagine the number of the unnecessary deaths caused by untreated mental illness both suicides and homicides.
I was on Medicaid until I was 21. While there were no psychiatrists in the small town I grew up in, I was in therapy from a very young age with no issue. I now live in a big city and options for therapy and a true psychiatrist abound along with varied copays, sliding scales, Medicaid acceptance, etc. It's not that Medicaid doesn't cover it, it's that often providers choose not to accept Medicaid due to government reimbursement.
Me: Doubts I have depression, assumes it's just a lack of drive since there's either nothing to do in the summer or constant homework in the school year. Sees the symptoms part in the beginning literally describing my normal outlook on life Me: Huh. Well that's unfortunate.
Weirdly enough, starting adderall for adhd had helped my depression more than anything. I think it’s because it gave me the motivation to start taking care of myself and doing the activities I used to love which in turn helped my depression.
For real! Also on how anxiety, depression and aggressive behavoir can be linked. My mom died recently and following the advice of my psychiatrist and therapist to stay away from most people until this episode resolves. Why do some people become aggressive during grief, depression or anxiety? Also, why are most mental health hospitals mainly focused on separation/lock away from society with little focus on actual therapy like outpatient services are?
I'm not even sure I have depression since I have periods where I feel that everything will be alright but at other times it's just a constant battle of trying to squash the negative thoughts
If it’s been going on for a while then it’s probably depression but you should keep looking into it and also you should track how you feel, not like you have to write anything down but like if you get feelings of worthlessness that’s something you should take note of
It's not uncommon for people with chronic clinical depression to experience it in episodes as opposed to 24/7. Talking to a therapist can be very helpful in figuring out what might be going on as well as helping you find ways to get through your depressed periods. As someone who's struggled with various mental illnesses since childhood, I promise that even though it might be uncomfortable to talk with someone about the things you're experiencing, it really does make a difference. I hope that you're doing well and that you've got people there to help you whenever you're struggling.
That how i am as well. You should probably try going to a therapist, but if you can’t I’d recommend staying busy when you start to feel horrible. That tends to help me not feel hopeless.
I gotta get on my depression themed webcomic. But with my luck, the adventures of Sarah Tonin, Amy Gadilla, and their Aunty Dee Pressant will just become a dopey meme.
Been battling with depression all my life, as well as other things I had no idea that self blame, rumination and anger were part of it. That explains a lot However having depression in Nigeria is really hell. There's simply noone to help. Rough stuff Thanks for the video
How those are controversial? Their illegal staus is controversial - not their use. Neither medical nor recreational. (I'm mainly speaking about MDMA, Psychedelics and Ketamine - but besides that War on drugs is not only ineffcient its also highly harmful and immoral)
Why does no one ever mention the new tests they have to find the proper antidepressant? I went through many antidepressants and then they gave me this test that found the exact one that I needed. You might want to research that.
Just gonna say that I think *the depoliticisation of mental health has been a disaster.* Its like you can't be depressed because your life, the world, capitalism or the environment sucks/makes you sad/anxious/scared/angry. They pretend its all chemicals in your brain but actually, we need to face the fact that daily life is awful for 90% of people because of the world we were born into.
@@sarahherbison5419 Back in the middle ages, people had a close relationship with the entire village, and something like 1/4 of all days were feast days. Modern life can be very isolating and depressing.
How about a feeling of decoupling, as in you know what you truly want to do but feel you have no way of accomplishing that. You used to think you can do it against all odds but now it seems more a distant fantasy.
I love this episode. I know it's old but.. I've suffered with depression my whole life. My dad is currently terminally ill and nearing the end and I've taken off work to help him with this stage of life. My depression hit an all time high. Therapy and talking to my doctor and getting on antidepressants has helped me so so so much. Don't embarrassed, don't be ashamed. Reach out. Your mental health matters, you matter.
This is a good presentation of my field. I am a retired Psychiatrist. After this presentation one should get an idea what variables I have pondered. This is why I insisted on medical manipulation needed to be with psychotherapy. There is always a mind/body connection. Ruminations can be truncated by mind/thought exercises. This is similar to the exercises to control obsessions. One learns these exercises is in psychotherapy. Often today one goes to the psychiatrist for medication and the psychologist for the psychotherapy. This is directly bc of the AMA CPT Code book payments. Yes this is more expensive for the individual. I am retired now but I am board certified in psychotherapy. I was the poorest paid Psychiatrist bc I did both and the AMA does not favor that.
*Remember that there always are people to talk to.* And just having someone to talk to can already make you feel much better. Temporarily off course. I think the most important thing is to rationalize why we feel that way and whether these feelings are justified. It will take time to tweak your thoughts, but slowly you will get there 🙂
@Brains Applied!!AGREED,I HAVE LOST SO MANY FRIENDS,FAMILY,TO THIS,AND IT LIES TO U,SO YOUR ISOLATION SEEMS A WAY TO PROTECT EVERYONE,FROM YOU,&PROTECTS YOURSELF FROM,,,,? BUT,THE BEST WAY TO DESCRIBE IT,-IT'S A LIAR,SO PLEASE REACH OUT!!DONT LISTEN TO IT,WHEN IT SAYS YOU'RE ALONE,AND NOTHING &NO ONE UNDERSTANDS,OR CAN HELP!! THAT'S NOT TRUE!!! THERE'S ROOM HERE FOR SOMEONE,-YOU.❤X
@@briebel2684 I THINK PERHAPS,OUR CLOSE FRIENDS,FAMILY ARE OUR BEST RESOURCE,I AM UNABLE TO EARN ANYMORE,SO "THERAPY",IS UNAFFORDABLE,HOWEVER,IF WE ISOLATE OURSELVES AND THE DEPRESSION GETS US ALONE,WE ARE MORE VULNERABLE TO IT,I MEAN NO DISRESPECT,&I HAVE BEEN DEPRESSED SINCE I WAS13,I AM 54NOW,AND EVERYDAY,I FIGHT THIS,SOMETIMES IS JUST AN ACKNOWLEDGMENT,FROM SOMEONE,,,TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE DO CARE,DESPITE THE LIES THAT DEPRESSION TELL US,CAN HELP TO TAKE A BIT OF THE STING OUT OF IT...I EMPATHISE AND WISH I HAD AN EASY ANSWER, I PERSONALLY,USE HUMOUR TO DEFLECT AS MUCH AS IM ABLE,AND MY CLOSE FRIENDS,(THE POOR SOULS)UNDERSTAND,AND SUPPORT ME,! I KNOW THAT I AM LUCKY ,SO OF COURSE,I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THAT!!--AND FEEL I AM A BURDEN,HOWEVER,,I KNOW THAT MY FRIENDS WHOM DEPRESSION HAS TAKEN,ALSO FELT LIKE THAT...THEY WERE LIED TO ASWELL,BUT THEY ,SADLY LISTENED,,,AND,I MISS THEM ALL,VERY VERY MUCH .AS DO THEIR LOVED ONES. I HOPE THAT YOU FIND YOUR WAY OF BEATING THIS SOON,MAY YOUR WEEK BE BEAUTIFUL...ANDRÉA.X😎❤🐾
@@alistairdownie5944 Best of luck to you as well. My life has taken a very similar track to yours. I was somewhat functioning until my late 30s, and then I crashed. Been in a cycle of back and forth ever since. Get on meds, end up oversleeping my appointment, feel like an ass, and give up.
@@briebel2684 YOU HAVE MY EMPATHY!!AS FOR APPOINTMENTS,HA!UNLESS ITS IN THE AFTERNOON,NO CHANCE!LOL!! I WAS HIGH FUNCTIONING DEPRESSIVE ,I WAS A VET NURSE, DID STABLES,MY OWN SMALL BUISNESS,AS AN ARTIST.DESIGN WORK,FARMS,RUNNING MY MOTHERS B&B,&LOOKED AFTER MY HUBBY,WHO'S ALSO DEPRESSED,(*STILL DO THAT1😎) SO WHEN I GOT FIBROMYALGIA,&M.S,I STRONGLY SUSPECT THE HUUUGE AMOUNT OF MEDS,AND THE E.C.T.AS BEING IF NOT THE CAUSE,THE TRIGGER!! DO U HAVE ANY COPING MECHANISMS?SUCH AS DISTRACTING YOURSELF , HOBBIES,,,INTERESTS? I CANT WORK,BUT I TAKE IN SICK&INJURED BIRDS,THEN REHAB THEM BACK TO THE WILD. I LOST ALL RESPECT FOR THE PSYCHIATRISTS,I CAUGHT THEM OUT IN LIES!!X.ANDRÉA.X🤗🦉❤
Depression is pretty crippling, even moderate versions. I got to manage it pretty effectively with the help of meditation, that schiit actually works! obviously with the strongest form of depression you should consult your physician
I was once part of a study for a new antidepressant. I can't remember the name, but being a nerd, I looked it up online to see how it works, and it's a dopamine partial agonist. In other words, it acts like dopamine, but with a weaker effect than actual dopamine. I don't think it helped me, but also I don't know if I was in the placebo group or the experimental one, and of course everyone's different anyway. Just wanted to point out that there are even more classes of antidepressants than the ones listed in this video :)
IceMetalPunk not to mention there will always be different antidepressants in the works and might even be cheaper for the general public! Especially since drugs affect each person differently:)
Sometimes it helps just to be diagnosed, and learn more about depression and anxiety. Understanding that's it's not your fault for having a condition can help break those cycles of dread.
25 minutes and the whole a person needs to know about depression. It means a lot to many people. You did great. 👍 Few months ago, to get this much information. I had to go to nearly 5 or 6 youtube videos in 5 or 6 different youtube channels. Getting all the information together was really nice. 👍
When you start with anti d’s be sure you have Someone to check on you, i had a severe reaction to it and almost jumped of a bridge .... police took me down so yeah watch out with that stuff ...
I was almost Baker Acted after starting my first one, which wasn't helped by the fact that the doctor who prescribed them didn't explain any of the potential side effects I might experience and how suicidal thoughts could be one of them.
@@lizard3755 suicidal thoughts they say.... More a full blown suicidal psychosis for me... But be wary it does really help some people, but some get severe side effects. Hence the doctor should advise you to have a family member or friend keep an eye on you the first time one starts.
rumination is really the worst, anything triggering can send you right into a 5 hour loop of bad memories and negative thoughts running at hyper speed. It's practically impossible to focus on anything else
The thing that i have found for me is; It really helps to not get upset at myself for being depressed and reminding myself of my goals getting myself to do things even if I don't want to, as well as to sleep regularly. the feeling that i have no purpose of very poor sleep tend to be the biggest factors for me, so the reminders help as well as the doing things(even setting aside an hour to do nothing but relax and let my mind wander), maybe this will help someone else?
So difficult to get out of the vicious cycle of depression , Get depressed screws up things depressed again repeat Anxiety as a booster to the cycle The irritability screws up social life,career
I favor these videos. I have crippling clinical depression and it leads me to extremely dark thought for myself and others. It makes me feel not so alone in a isolated and hopeless point of view. I am internally grateful for your work. Even if it's just spreading the news.
It’s definitely not just a chemical imbalance for me. I’ve been on and off different meds for years and they never really have done a huge amount for me other than remove the deepest lows. More helpful had been therapy over the years. But even that, and the combination of meds and exercise and meditation and more have only very slowly lead to progress. For me anyway it seems clear that how I was raised, bullying and other childhood experiences had a huge role to play.
That, "depression is genetic" is very prevalent in my family. Me, my mom, and all of my siblings have depression and some sort and severity of anxiety. Before I got my medicine that worked for me, I was always irritated and angry. I had no patience for anyone or anything. That also explained my family not having any patience for me when I was a young annoying child.
I am on the SNRI Effexor. I have been on and off for nearly 20 years, exploring 2-3 years at a time understanding how I change on and off. I've always been told I wouldn't feel it for months. I have always felt my first dose within hours. But I do still continue to feel benefits months later, bit by bit. It gives me more mileage from therapy, nutrition, exercise, and other factors in my life.
I'm starting SSRIs tomorrow. Thank you for this video. You have helped me to accept my medication. This is important work that you are doing. Keep it up!
@@SamanvitaSinghania SORRY TO ASK,WHAT IS DEAR EVAN HANSAN?MY BEAUTIFUL,FUNNY,INTELLIGENT DAUGHTER,LIKED THIS,&I'M OUT OF TOUCH,WITH CURRENT CULTURE!(OLD🤗💝,)
My condition (multiple scelorosis) Had hit me so hard 2019 with Intense fatal depression. Had looked for help from 4 hospital, last one being cleaveland clinic. Now I've been through so much... Suicidal thoughts kept knocking on the door... My mental health sort of jumped off burj khalifa (tallest building) Didn't take any mess, had went to a therapist... Just once. Still feel so bad... Yet.. I am still standing...
I know y'all aren't doctors but you definitely helped convince me I should see one. Also what's all this about nothing funny to say about depression? It's like, the majority of humour aha. Of all the videos to not feature a plethora of awful puns. No, the depressed people don't deserve jokes! I kid I kid. Love you guys. Been tuning in for years. Best crew.
I'm in this Depression boat. Finding a therapist who specializes in Asperger's who takes Medicare/Medicaid in East Tennessee is impossible. The closest ones are four hour drives away. The ketamine clinic here in town, each session costs several hundred dollars, and only the talk therapy is partially covered. I can't keep straight what I needed to do to get the charitable help from the place they referred me to, plus I'm in bankruptcy, and trying to get help from two other agencies for energy assistance and home repair. I can't keep it all straight in my head. I was a hoarder. I'm living in filth, waiting to die, but I don't want to be. I used to have goals, and I met many. I used to have friends. I used to be proud of my home, yard, collections, body, and just being helpful to others. I'm a 53 year old widower, former caregiver for almost 8 years, living with undetectable HIV for 24 years, artificial hips for 19. My pets have gotten old. One died of a heart attack last July 5th (neighborhood fireworks), another of old age February 17th, and the last is at the end of his breed's lifespan, slowing down, and in mild pain, losing his sight. My only, and younger, sister died in 2018 of her final cancer surgery, after fighting two kinds, twice. I just can't handle it all anymore, and my friends are all dead or estranged, dealing with their own aging issues. I'm just one person, but I'm saying all of this not to beg for help, for money (not that I'd turn down either), but just to help people understand: if it's like this for one person, how many others face similar issues, and maybe have it worse? Nobody kind deserves to feel like this every day.
I was so good at the whole rumination thing, that even I didn't know I was angry. And after somewhere between 12-17 years of that, I start seeing a therapist who starts asking me to express my anger which confuses and frustrates me since I'm not angry. A couple years after that, I start taking meds. Then, after a couple more years, I get a side effect and have to go off all meds to see if they're the cause. The dam breaks. It's a month of hell for everyone around me. My mental walls are gone and so are the ones the meds erected in their place. It's shocking to me how much anger I had with nowhere to direct it. We were all thankful when I was able to get onto some new meds.
I can't believe you didn't mention Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) therapy. I have treatment resistant major depressive disorder. Over the years, I have taken seven different medications in many different drug classes. Nothing helped. I have had hundreds and hundreds of hours of therapy which didn't work either. TMS has been extremely successful for me. My first treatment left me completely depression-free for 2 years. I then had a maintenance treatment, which has worked for 3 years. I will be having a another maintenance treatment in July. Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) therapy. Approximately 50% to 60% of people with depression who have tried and failed to receive benefit from medications experience a clinically meaningful response with TMS. About one-third of these individuals experience a full remission, meaning that their symptoms go away completely.
And one of the other big complications is that depression can often result from long-term illness, and medications prescribed to manage those conditions can interact with antidepressants in a way that decreases their effectiveness or increase the likelihood of side effects.
*TRIGGER WARNING* My bf once told me that if he ever caught me self-harming, he'd take the tool away and tell me to do it to him. Cuz why should I be the only who deserves to bleed for their mistakes? I've never been able to answer that question, and it creates a real problem when I try to convince someone else not to self-harm, even though _I_ still do it to this day.
This year I realised I've had depression for more than half my life. That's depressing in and of itself. I hope one day we can have a cure, I don't think I've had very much true joy in my life
Each and every cut in this video has an audio clipping issue where the first word of each segment is cut off. Good compilation but could use someone going back over it to fix these issues.
it's no point for me, depression has ravaged my life so much for so long that removing the depression veil is only going to expose the mountains of mess and failures i left behind and it will just give me a rational sense of sadness and insecurity. no medicine is going to fix that.
@@MayankRamnani1802 Thank you so much for your kindness! i completely forgot about this. a year ago i was in a very dark place. a number of people passed away in my life in very quick succession, i lost my job, and because of the grief and depression i also lost my girlfriend at the time. a year later though not in an ideal place i'm in a considerably better place. I'll pray for you and your loved ones prosperity and health. again, thank you. such a pleasant surprise to see kindness on the internet.
@@Serso70 thanks a lot! I am really thankful for your prayers and blessings since I'm struggling with OCD and anxiety and have faced two sudden deaths in the family due to covid, so I try my best to stay positive and fight against my negative thought patterns, SSRIs are working, but I for now it's a daily struggle and I'm forcing myself to be positive, I wish all those who have had or are currently facing depression and anxiety get healing and enjoy their lives to the fullest.
I've been Struggling with depression my whole life. Antidepressants always have made things worse for me, also. I'm always feeling tired, and my memory isn't that great. I've tried 7 different Antidepressants, 3 of which brought on overwhelming suicidal thoughts. After the last one, I was not comfortable continuing trying to find "the right one" I am now on Lamictal, which makes me feel numb to everything. It was described as a 'mood stabilizer' and used to treat Bipolar disorders. The other downside is that I'm always tired. I yawn constantly, and I can doze off if I'm not careful. Those around me say I seem more 'normal' so I continue it, even though I don't exactly like the way I feel. I have always felt sluggish, and slower than everyone else around me. Takes me longer to process information, and as I've stated above my memory is terrible. I don't project emotions like others I see, and can't say I've ever felt things like joy or surprise. Theres always been a preasure from others, mostly my family, to be normal. At this point I don't theres any meds that can help.
Please be aware that depression can also just be a symptom of another disease or disfunction. I have been diagnosed with depression about 10 years ago, but it turned out that I have ADHD which hasn't been diagnosed in my youth which then made me depressed because I got all the bad feedback, was distracted, felt different and not accepted by others (ans much more).
Recently came off years of antidepressants because of this^^ it started out as a subtle loss of interest then slowly spiraled into painful unbearable sex. Wish I'd noticed and went back to the dr sooner.
6:55 Yes, yes it very much does. It started as a teenager and just got worse and worse, I felt guilty about *everything*. I would never ask my parents fo things because I was certain I cost them too much money. Whenever one of them would call me for something I suddenly got super nervous because I didn't remember doing anything wrong, but what if I did. I fell out of touch with friends, not because I didn't like their company but I didn't want to waste their time. Everything was my fault and it took a long time to stop assigning blame automatically.
I can't seem to break my smile no matter how much I wanna scream I need help I just can't bring myself to do it. Everyday I smile and smile and when people say "you look dead inside" I really am but they never ask further when I say yup I just need someone anyone yo recognize my pain
The first step is understanding that others don't have to see your pain, YOU need to see it and be willing to do something about it. I have been depressed since I can remember and no one else understood because I was always smiling / happy. Took me years and videos like this to realise thT depression is about 'internal dialogue' more than external presentation. Thankfully there are videos like these, which help me understand when I'm in a cycle earlier and earlier. Self-care is CRITICAL for folks with depression, so lear to recognize what care you need and actively practise it. We teach people how to treat us, so start by paying attention to your own needs and stop expecting someone else to fix you.
Omg yeeeeesssss! I try not to stay stick on negative thoughts but it's like trying not to breathe. I have every symptom of depression and anxiety. I practice gratitude but man depression and anxiety suuuuucks and ot plaques me day in and day out.
Awesome information. Right now I could say that I probably have some form of dysthymia. However I cant say that its not too severe, although I may be underestimating the worst moments. Also as I read the internet the word is usually used for periods of depression that last like years. I am usually in waves. As far as I have tracked it I can be in depression for like weeks and then be fine for weeks too. These periods are rarely or never (I cannot recall) longer than a month. Rumination is right. I overthink a lot, I feel guilty a lot while sometimes I get angry easy and Im irritable and sometimes I feel just right. Losing interest in anything is right in the worst periods, having low energy too. There are a lot of loose ends in my psyche which I constantly try to resolve. By overthinking of course :D. However I am always thinking and analyzing a lot. In the bad moments this is bad, but on average I managed to figure out a lot of my problems and now I dig deeper. All in all I think it may be beneficial to see a psychologist, because Ive reached the conclusion that the bad moments are unreasonable and are eating a lot of my time. I should try doing something in that line soon - is what I say to my sometimes lazy sometimes depressed ass. Soon. :D
Wanted to throw out a suggestion for a video topic. PMDD. As someone diagnosed myself, i would love to see a video about this topic. I didn't know about it prior to my diagnosis from a therapist. I'm guessing others don't either. I would love an episode on women's mental health. Hormones play a huge role in mental health apparently. It would be interesting to explore.
Even on the better days of depression I still feel empty and tense, my head hurts and I feel tired. People describe it as feeling empty and cold inside and that’s how it feels, my head feels empty. It’s like when you’re sick and even when you laugh for a second you don’t feel good. It started when I was 11 or 12.. probably 11 honestly but I’ve been depressed for about 4 years. I don’t have suicidal thoughts like I did in middle school.
I have arthritis and fibromyalgia, as well as a skin disorder, all of which cause a lot of physical pain. I've grieved for long periods after having loved ones die, who I was very close to, young and old. I've had tons of injuries, from sprains, fractures, head traumata, torn ligaments, some nasty burns, broken teeth etc... All of the physical, mental, and emotional pain that I've endured in my entire life doesn't even come close to 1% of what I experienced when I had severed depression as a result of bad psych medication I took for a short time. I was on those pills for exactly 4 weeks and the time it took me to recover from what they did to me was over 600 days. Depression is worse than anything and I can't even really explain why. You could win the lottery and not even care all while being terrified that you're burdening those around you for existing. If I had to pick between being depressed or being lit on fire, I'd take the fire gratefully, with tears of joy.
They did ketamine here czcams.com/video/Nx6pb73jBTg/video.html, and I'm pretty sure they did lsd too, awhile ago. But as that is a more controversial topic, ad sense dictates leaving those out of this compilation.
Research on these is still pretty current, so I wouldn't expect most sci-comm outlets to cover them (or at least cover them well). Here's a review on ketamine though if you're interested: f1000research.com/articles/7-659
Afreakingmen! A lot of good information here! Wish more people knew this! And someone needs to tell my soon-to-be ex-husband something along the lines of: if someone you claim to care about is depressed, how does doing something guaranteed to make them MORE depressed sound like a good idea?
I've been depressed my whole life. Did try SSRI's briefly but I found I couldn't think while I was on them (which wasn't helpful as I had a lot of assignments to get done). Maybe I'll try again in the near future while I'm between things.
I used to have disabling depression and anxiety, now I have that AND burning nerve pain on my skin, which they also tell me is anxiety, the physical pain is awful and it makes my already horrible depression and anxiety so much worse
My mother had depression or anxiety and it caused her to have nerve endings on her legs to form areas of intense itching. So you could be having nerve ending problems that cause your pain. But having said that, if you haven’t gotten a second opinion, please do. Another doctor may be able to figure out that you have a different diagnosis with different treatments. I really recommend stretching and meditation. They really helped me
They seem to focus exclusively on the biological and neurological causes of depression, as if there are no social circumstances that tend to lead to depression. But social, economic, and political factors can bring on depression as well and such causes get consistently ignored.
All good info, nothing new for me though. One thing I'm a bit skeptical of is that memory loss and forgetting how to do things (and being lost in time) is because of rumination. I had almost no rumination with my depression, also I had no guilt or self hatred. Still I could not think. I lost simple math even. It was like dementia. Forgetful, stupid and tormented. Most abilities came back when I got better, but my short term memory never came back totally. I more think my brain was shutting down for some reason. Part from being tormented I had no emotions, not even sadness. Sometimes anger. I don't know why my depression was so atypical but I'm toying with the idea of too much inhibition. A brain that worked overtime trying to stop itself from working.
One of the worst parts for me is the memory problems. I’m a student, and when I’m at a lecture I often don’t remember what I’m about to write down the moment I’ve written the first word in a sentence. It’s super annoying. I don’t have problems with long term memory though, so I can still study even though I can’t do it full time (40h a week) but rather 1/4 pace (10h a week).
I honestly know I need help. I've needed help for a while, but I feel like I can't get it because of my living circumstance. Frankly I think I'm going to be dead, or in jail before I ever finish school.
@@-G-Mac- I've thought about calling one of those hotlines, but I'm afraid they'd want to put me in a locked ward again, and if I failed my program because of that then I don't know what would happen after that. I feel like I just have to suppress everything because thats what everyone around me is telling me to do, and I'm dependent on them until I finish school.
Definitely have the guilt and rumination. I do everything "right" like diet, exercise, pray, have life experience, try new things, but I'm still depressed half the time. Has seriously impacted my work and relationships with other people. Imagine working with someone who cycles with being in a good mood and being shut down/not even saying hi for no reason. I'm on Day 2 of Lexapro, I pray we get through this struggle, in Jesus name.
How can I fix me? It runs my life and it’s so hard to keep going. I can’t hold down a job, I can never finish anything I start, im so miserable. I’m on medication, but it’s not working anymore. Day by day it’s getting harder to fight it.
I hope you're still hanging in there. I'd recommend looking into applying for disability, as well as talking to your doctor or therapist about switching to a different medicine or adding a secondary one like Abilify. Even though everything sucks and it feels like there's no point in trying to do anything, convincing yourself just to get up is a victory. Finding little things to do like crosswords or jigsaw puzzles or even just havinf a plant can help you to feel like you're getting things done as well as to keep you from laying in bed and spiraling. Finding ways to externalize your negative feelings can also help. Before I had my depression under control, I would sometimes paint or draw what I was feeling and when I felt angry or wanted to hurt myself I would shred newspapers by hand. It sounds weird, but it was satisfying and a good outlet for those emotions. I know it gets old being told this, but it gets better.
When I started taking antidepressants, I felt different instantly. Not happy, or better, even. I felt like I cloudnt think. The way thoughts came to me were completly different. I don't know how to explain it, it's like my world was flipped completly upsidedown. I couldn't form a thought unless I put it into words.
Can you do an episode like this looking at women specifically and depression and anxiety as well as sleep deprivation from hot flashes and the brain fog associated with the estrogen changes in our lives like puberty, pregnancy, perimenopause, and menopause please?
I don’t know who I am anymore, lost a relative, many friends and I can’t trust people anymore, not even my own parents. I used to cut myself and throw up food, but I stopped. I’m so sensitive, I’m seriously crying every night. I heard a voice calling my name, but I was home alone, i don’t think it was real! Sometimes I seriously see my old best friend (which moved away) but then realised that she wasn’t there, I can’t even trust myself! I think I’m going crazy and idk what to do ;(
My junior year of high school I decided to watch all these videos, and realized that I had every single symptom of anxiety and depression. I talked to my parents and they didn't believe me until a year later, when my doctor diagnosed me with severe depression and extreme anxiety. These videos helped me know that the way I was thinking wasn't normal. Now I'm medicated for it, and scishow saved my life.
@Sean Brogan the original comment is a year old so you're probably not gonna get a reply bud 😐 if they're diagnosed w major depressive disorder and medicated now good for them
@Sean Brogan I don't imagine those were the words the doctor said, no; it was likely paraphrased
Nah teenagers are just fuckong stupid to be honest. Anxiety and depression are part of the human condition
I have the opposite problem I have major depressive disorder and general anxiety disorder but I feel like I have something else going on that I can't explain or voice and I can't figure out what it is I've tried everything my doctor told me and everything I can try and my mdd and gad don't get better
Yea, Im SUREE they did...
Can confirm: my memory is way worse when my depressive and anxiety symptoms are high
Does any medication help?
@@gregorymalchuk272 Guess he forgot to reply
I've had depression for so long I don't know if I still have it or if it is just who I am.
Having a cold or cancer doesn't mean that your natural state is having a runny nose or a tumor. The _experience_ affects your personality: your tastes in art, your politcs, your philosophy. The symptoms themselves are just that, products of a process gone wrong in some part of your body.
That's what I've concluded, so far in my life.
There's an Icon For Hire song that embodies this sentiment - It's called "Supposed to be"
The main chorus goes: "When you take the sick away, who am I supposed to... be...." (insert rock-like vocalization and instruments)
I like to see it like this: Identity is complicated and is a combination of both your choices and your circumstance. So trying to figure out what is "really you" is both futile and pointless... because you are a sum of everything that has happened to you AND how you reacted to it. And there isn't really a right or wrong.
Hope that helped (doubt it would have though... I still get identity crises often enough).
OMG!! I said the same thing to my psychiatrist and he told me that his job was to go through all my thoughts and help me figure out which ones were mine and those of depression and anxiety
Then he travelled and now I am alone and can't and don't want to find a new one🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Evelo I know what you mean....you are not alone.
Isn’t it great when it doesn’t get better?
I have struggled with mild depression at least since middle school, if not my whole life. (I wasn't diagnosed until I was about 21.) That phrase -- "mild depression" -- is a bit problematic. Yes, it's more mild than some people have it, but I still wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. "Knowing" that you're a terrible friend to the people you love, "knowing" you're worthless and drag everyone down with you, having days where you're curled up in the fetal position crying because you feel like your head is going to explode from the internal struggle of "knowing" terrible things but also trying to convince yourself it's not true... I may not be suicidal most of the time, but I often envy those who are for having found a way out, and the very fact that I feel that envy can be terrifying.
So TL;DR: even mild depression is an awful, terrible thing, a mental parasite, and the better we get at treating it, the better we become as a species.
I recently decided to start seeing a counselor at my university mainly for my anxiety, but to also get help for what I fear is mild depression. Because a lot of what you said rings so true for me. While I do have more good days than bad, the bad days hit hard and I struggle to get out my room with huge bouts of apathy and worthlessness, to the point I cry. I can still get out my room during that period but I ain’t happy to be out. I kept convincing myself I don’t really have depression because I can function but I finally came to the realization that having so many thoughts of worthlessness and self-loathing _probably_ is not normal.
The dangerous thing about it is that it's easier to be dismissed as "personality", "character trait" or "laziness" by the patient, and prevent them from realizing that they need assistance. I know people who think that depression is not being able to get out of bed and staring apathetic at the ceiling - while they suffer from dysthymia and put the blame on themselves for being "weak". I strongly believe that the this version of depression need its own, seperate awareness efforts.
A "minor cancer" gets a ton of reaction but everyone dismisses "minor depression"
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with depression, if you are not seeing someone you might want to try. Not all therapists are equal so try until you find one that works. Also, from personal experience, I know that trying to tell yourself that something isn't true is very hard when it feels like it's true. You could try re-framing, like, if a friend behaved this way to me how would I respond? Did I do this with any bad intention, if not, can I learn something about this situation (that I created with good intentions and the knowledge I had back then)? If it was your friend, what would you tell them? There are many ways out, you got this
@@visitishigaki Thanks :) I've been through three different therapists. The last one seemed wonderful, and then my finances ran out and I had to stop seeing her. When I was able to come back, something had changed; she seemed to bring everything back to my job as if that was the only problem in my life, and when I tried to ask about other things, she'd just say stuff like, "when you get a better job, you'll have more confidence, and all this will go away". When I finally got a new/better job, she told me she didn't think I needed her help anymore, and at that point I figured she wasn't helping much anyway, so I haven't seen a therapist since. Maybe I should try and find another one eventually.
Explaining what depression feels like to someone not going through it is sort of like trying to explain the colour blue to a person born blind.
(or maybe i just don't have the vocabulary)
Ive been able to describe it to many people and they get exactly what I mean, because I've had alot of time to think and know when i'm depressed because I have alot of the problems he described in the wierd symptoms part of the video. I tend to blame myself for alot of what goes wrong "you didn't win because you haven't been practicing and weren't paying attention (as usual)" vs. "You didn't win because this game is really RNG based and is BS like that sometimes." Not only that but when I'm depressed I have to take notes almost constantly, ask people's names MULTIPLE times (sometimes I can't even recall facts about myself I should know instantly like date of birth or medications im taking, which aren't alot) and if it gets really bad I'll have trouble writing and forming sentences or getting my ideas down be it on paper or in electronic form. I've known all of this this about myself for years, yet it sounds like science is just starting to catch up.
I have always used emotional abuse as a description, only the abuser is your own mind and you don't know how to stop it.
@Dark Vulcan I think command over the word (spoken and or written)*, is one of the fundamental liberties a person can achieve for themselves. I hope being able to vent that makes you feel better.
@Eric Woodley How would you describe what that makes you feel from the inside though. When i was a kid, i used to hold a glass to my lips, enveloping it then sucking out all the air till it stuck on my face till my mouth and lips hurt and tingled (i was a dumbass, am).
To me that's kind of how it feels, inside, a sort of suffocating vacuum that's peeling the paint off the walls for no reason that goes on for weeks on end. As i understand it different people experience it differently.
You just don't have the vocabulary. It's merely a feeling of combined hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness. There ya go🤷♂️
I am depressed and have been for a long time. I feel there is hope for generations to come, and that's good. I just wish science could find a cure in my lifetime.
Most crucial years of my life has been totally wasted due to depression and anxiety, I hope science finds cure for at least next generation, as I don't see any cure in my lifetime
Jan Chenot have you tried therapy? And if that person didn’t work out try another maybe 😕♥️
I hear that. 30+ years of rumination here with no end in sight.
There's no hope for me
Jan Chenot mankind has had many natural tools for depression, research psychedelic therapy
The treatments and therapy you highlighted, while promising, are more than likely not covered by Medicaid.
People in lower socioeconomic standing would be lucky to get five minutes with a psychiatrist. A catered program isn’t possible with that as a condition.
There is a darker reality to mental health treatment that is subject to how much money you have and where you live.
So while the science may be there, the access is not.
Love the channel. Just wanted to add a bit of perspective.
This is so very true. I've seen vastly different outcomes in people who suffer from mental illnesses, including myself, depending upon their financial standing at the time at which they sought treatment. One of the worst aspects of mental illness is that it can make it difficult to hold down a job, which makes it difficult to access and afford treatment, which makes it difficult to find a job, which makes it difficult to... you get it. It triggers a downward spiral in which worsening finances and worsening symptoms drag people further and further away from regaining their health. Then, when (and if) they do get better, the dumpster fire of bills and their careers are waiting for them... at a time when they may be too fragile to handle that added pressure. It's a terrible cycle.
It's really unfortunate that so many Americans don't have basic healthcare. I can only imagine the number of the unnecessary deaths caused by untreated mental illness both suicides and homicides.
I was on Medicaid until I was 21. While there were no psychiatrists in the small town I grew up in, I was in therapy from a very young age with no issue. I now live in a big city and options for therapy and a true psychiatrist abound along with varied copays, sliding scales, Medicaid acceptance, etc.
It's not that Medicaid doesn't cover it, it's that often providers choose not to accept Medicaid due to government reimbursement.
I totally pitty you americans. The land of the free doesn't even have National health insurance for everyone.
This just in: Usa is not the only country
Me: Doubts I have depression, assumes it's just a lack of drive since there's either nothing to do in the summer or constant homework in the school year.
Sees the symptoms part in the beginning literally describing my normal outlook on life
Me: Huh. Well that's unfortunate.
Yeah I've been in denial that i'm depressed. Antidepressants only helped so long took myself off.
Weirdly enough, starting adderall for adhd had helped my depression more than anything. I think it’s because it gave me the motivation to start taking care of myself and doing the activities I used to love which in turn helped my depression.
Me too!
Adhd and depression being like twins & besties, acting like each other, filling in for each other and ruining peoples lives🤦♀️
Amphetamines also increase serotonin levels
@Merrielle Gatlin I hope I'm the same
@@sarvar5796 great this just confirms that drugs ARE the answer just need to find my local dealer
Can you do a video like this for anxiety too? 😁
And psychosis!
Yaaaaaaas
For real! Also on how anxiety, depression and aggressive behavoir can be linked. My mom died recently and following the advice of my psychiatrist and therapist to stay away from most people until this episode resolves. Why do some people become aggressive during grief, depression or anxiety? Also, why are most mental health hospitals mainly focused on separation/lock away from society with little focus on actual therapy like outpatient services are?
Foreeal
I'm not even sure I have depression since I have periods where I feel that everything will be alright but at other times it's just a constant battle of trying to squash the negative thoughts
Try seeing a therapist or psychiatrist. That's how my depression is but the bad mind set seems to slowly replace all my positive hopeful thoughts.
If it’s been going on for a while then it’s probably depression but you should keep looking into it and also you should track how you feel, not like you have to write anything down but like if you get feelings of worthlessness that’s something you should take note of
It's not uncommon for people with chronic clinical depression to experience it in episodes as opposed to 24/7. Talking to a therapist can be very helpful in figuring out what might be going on as well as helping you find ways to get through your depressed periods. As someone who's struggled with various mental illnesses since childhood, I promise that even though it might be uncomfortable to talk with someone about the things you're experiencing, it really does make a difference. I hope that you're doing well and that you've got people there to help you whenever you're struggling.
Well I suppose the desire to squash negative thoughts came from a negative thought,
and that's how you run around in circles all your life
That how i am as well. You should probably try going to a therapist, but if you can’t I’d recommend staying busy when you start to feel horrible. That tends to help me not feel hopeless.
Its like the universe knew how i was feeling and said let this video be made. Thank you for such informative videos so often
I gotta get on my depression themed webcomic. But with my luck, the adventures of Sarah Tonin, Amy Gadilla, and their Aunty Dee Pressant will just become a dopey meme.
I've never met Sarah Tonin... I've heard she's nice though.
Amy Gadilla, on the other hand... she never shuts up
if you actually make a web comic and it becomes a meme, you've won.
Please make it. I think it will be an interesting read
Depression does run in my wife's family...so something I definitely watch for the symptoms of in our children. This is going to be helpful for me.
Been battling with depression all my life, as well as other things
I had no idea that self blame, rumination and anger were part of it. That explains a lot
However having depression in Nigeria is really hell. There's simply noone to help. Rough stuff
Thanks for the video
I had a coworker ask me last year, "what makes you happy?". I have no answer for that.
My death bed would be a happy place 😂
Can you do a video in controversial studies that look at illegal drugs and how they might he able to treat depression, PTSD, and such?
Mdma
@@wtfkanal9997 mdma, lsd, psyllocybin (sp?)
@Boi Thanks, man. Very interesting.
How those are controversial? Their illegal staus is controversial - not their use. Neither medical nor recreational. (I'm mainly speaking about MDMA, Psychedelics and Ketamine - but besides that War on drugs is not only ineffcient its also highly harmful and immoral)
Or cause them
Why does no one ever mention the new tests they have to find the proper antidepressant? I went through many antidepressants and then they gave me this test that found the exact one that I needed. You might want to research that.
Tryptamines > SSRIs
@@adamagustus1316 Because you know me.
@@adamagustus1316 That I agree.
Which test would that be?
@@adamagustus1316 It's pronounced GIF smhmh my head
Just gonna say that I think *the depoliticisation of mental health has been a disaster.* Its like you can't be depressed because your life, the world, capitalism or the environment sucks/makes you sad/anxious/scared/angry. They pretend its all chemicals in your brain but actually, we need to face the fact that daily life is awful for 90% of people because of the world we were born into.
The world has always been awful, review the Middle Ages. It's getting the motivation to fix it.
@@sarahherbison5419 Not always, and it doesn't have to be, but too few people with too much power basically ruin it for 99% of us.
Bring out the guillotine...eat the rich. It's better to die on your feet fighting than living on your knees whining.
@@sarahherbison5419
Back in the middle ages, people had a close relationship with the entire village, and something like 1/4 of all days were feast days. Modern life can be very isolating and depressing.
How about a feeling of decoupling, as in you know what you truly want to do but feel you have no way of accomplishing that. You used to think you can do it against all odds but now it seems more a distant fantasy.
I love this episode. I know it's old but.. I've suffered with depression my whole life. My dad is currently terminally ill and nearing the end and I've taken off work to help him with this stage of life. My depression hit an all time high. Therapy and talking to my doctor and getting on antidepressants has helped me so so so much. Don't embarrassed, don't be ashamed. Reach out. Your mental health matters, you matter.
I hope you’re doing okay today ❤️🩹
This is a good presentation of my field. I am a retired Psychiatrist. After this presentation one should get an idea what variables I have pondered. This is why I insisted on medical manipulation needed to be with psychotherapy. There is always a mind/body connection. Ruminations can be truncated by mind/thought exercises. This is similar to the exercises to control obsessions. One learns these exercises is in psychotherapy.
Often today one goes to the psychiatrist for medication and the psychologist for the psychotherapy. This is directly bc of the AMA CPT Code book payments. Yes this is more expensive for the individual. I am retired now but I am board certified in psychotherapy. I was the poorest paid Psychiatrist bc I did both and the AMA does not favor that.
Barbara Houk thank you for the work you did.
Thank you.
*Remember that there always are people to talk to.*
And just having someone to talk to can already make you feel much better. Temporarily off course.
I think the most important thing is to rationalize why we feel that way and whether these feelings are justified. It will take time to tweak your thoughts, but slowly you will get there 🙂
@Brains Applied!!AGREED,I HAVE LOST SO MANY FRIENDS,FAMILY,TO THIS,AND IT LIES TO U,SO YOUR ISOLATION SEEMS A WAY TO PROTECT EVERYONE,FROM YOU,&PROTECTS YOURSELF FROM,,,,?
BUT,THE BEST WAY TO DESCRIBE IT,-IT'S A LIAR,SO PLEASE REACH OUT!!DONT LISTEN TO IT,WHEN IT SAYS YOU'RE ALONE,AND NOTHING &NO ONE UNDERSTANDS,OR CAN HELP!!
THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!
THERE'S ROOM HERE FOR SOMEONE,-YOU.❤X
Talk therapy. Yeah... about that. It's a cruel joke. You spend hundreds or thousands of dollars without any effect whatsoever.
@@briebel2684 I THINK PERHAPS,OUR CLOSE FRIENDS,FAMILY ARE OUR BEST RESOURCE,I AM UNABLE TO EARN ANYMORE,SO "THERAPY",IS UNAFFORDABLE,HOWEVER,IF WE ISOLATE OURSELVES AND THE DEPRESSION GETS US ALONE,WE ARE MORE VULNERABLE TO IT,I MEAN NO DISRESPECT,&I HAVE BEEN DEPRESSED SINCE I WAS13,I AM 54NOW,AND EVERYDAY,I FIGHT THIS,SOMETIMES IS JUST AN ACKNOWLEDGMENT,FROM SOMEONE,,,TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE DO CARE,DESPITE THE LIES THAT DEPRESSION TELL US,CAN HELP TO TAKE A BIT OF THE STING OUT OF IT...I EMPATHISE AND WISH I HAD AN EASY ANSWER, I PERSONALLY,USE HUMOUR TO DEFLECT AS MUCH AS IM ABLE,AND MY CLOSE FRIENDS,(THE POOR SOULS)UNDERSTAND,AND SUPPORT ME,!
I KNOW THAT I AM LUCKY ,SO OF COURSE,I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THAT!!--AND FEEL I AM A BURDEN,HOWEVER,,I KNOW THAT MY FRIENDS WHOM DEPRESSION HAS TAKEN,ALSO FELT LIKE THAT...THEY WERE LIED TO ASWELL,BUT THEY ,SADLY LISTENED,,,AND,I MISS THEM ALL,VERY VERY MUCH
.AS DO THEIR LOVED ONES.
I HOPE THAT YOU FIND YOUR WAY OF BEATING THIS SOON,MAY YOUR WEEK BE BEAUTIFUL...ANDRÉA.X😎❤🐾
@@alistairdownie5944 Best of luck to you as well. My life has taken a very similar track to yours. I was somewhat functioning until my late 30s, and then I crashed. Been in a cycle of back and forth ever since. Get on meds, end up oversleeping my appointment, feel like an ass, and give up.
@@briebel2684 YOU HAVE MY EMPATHY!!AS FOR APPOINTMENTS,HA!UNLESS ITS IN THE AFTERNOON,NO CHANCE!LOL!!
I WAS HIGH FUNCTIONING DEPRESSIVE ,I WAS A VET NURSE,
DID STABLES,MY OWN SMALL BUISNESS,AS AN ARTIST.DESIGN WORK,FARMS,RUNNING MY MOTHERS B&B,&LOOKED AFTER MY HUBBY,WHO'S ALSO DEPRESSED,(*STILL DO THAT1😎)
SO WHEN I GOT FIBROMYALGIA,&M.S,I STRONGLY SUSPECT THE HUUUGE AMOUNT OF MEDS,AND THE E.C.T.AS BEING IF NOT THE CAUSE,THE TRIGGER!!
DO U HAVE ANY COPING MECHANISMS?SUCH AS DISTRACTING YOURSELF ,
HOBBIES,,,INTERESTS?
I CANT WORK,BUT I TAKE IN SICK&INJURED BIRDS,THEN REHAB THEM BACK TO THE WILD.
I LOST ALL RESPECT FOR THE PSYCHIATRISTS,I CAUGHT THEM OUT IN LIES!!X.ANDRÉA.X🤗🦉❤
Depression is pretty crippling, even moderate versions. I got to manage it pretty effectively with the help of meditation, that schiit actually works! obviously with the strongest form of depression you should consult your physician
I was once part of a study for a new antidepressant. I can't remember the name, but being a nerd, I looked it up online to see how it works, and it's a dopamine partial agonist. In other words, it acts like dopamine, but with a weaker effect than actual dopamine. I don't think it helped me, but also I don't know if I was in the placebo group or the experimental one, and of course everyone's different anyway. Just wanted to point out that there are even more classes of antidepressants than the ones listed in this video :)
Don't feel too bad - if it did work, you couldn't afford the prescription anyways. 😅
@@interstellarsurfer Not at the time, but I do have much better insurance now :D
IceMetalPunk not to mention there will always be different antidepressants in the works and might even be cheaper for the general public! Especially since drugs affect each person differently:)
@@IceMetalPunk
Were you ever able to look up the name of the medication?
@@gregorymalchuk272 Nope, the name completely escapes me, sorry.
YES 100% great insight about the Self-Guilt + Rumination!!! That's absolutely all of my depression
Sometimes it helps just to be diagnosed, and learn more about depression and anxiety. Understanding that's it's not your fault for having a condition can help break those cycles of dread.
25 minutes and the whole a person needs to know about depression.
It means a lot to many people. You did great. 👍
Few months ago, to get this much information. I had to go to nearly 5 or 6 youtube videos in 5 or 6 different youtube channels.
Getting all the information together was really nice. 👍
THANK YOU for making a video accurately describing depression and debunking myths. There is so much misconceptions about depression out there.
When you start with anti d’s be sure you have Someone to check on you, i had a severe reaction to it and almost jumped of a bridge .... police took me down so yeah watch out with that stuff ...
I was almost Baker Acted after starting my first one, which wasn't helped by the fact that the doctor who prescribed them didn't explain any of the potential side effects I might experience and how suicidal thoughts could be one of them.
@@lizard3755 suicidal thoughts they say.... More a full blown suicidal psychosis for me... But be wary it does really help some people, but some get severe side effects. Hence the doctor should advise you to have a family member or friend keep an eye on you the first time one starts.
In the US, it's hard to get any kind of treatments when you make too much to be on Medicaid, but not enough for insurance.
rumination is really the worst, anything triggering can send you right into a 5 hour loop of bad memories and negative thoughts running at hyper speed. It's practically impossible to focus on anything else
The thing that i have found for me is; It really helps to not get upset at myself for being depressed and reminding myself of my goals getting myself to do things even if I don't want to, as well as to sleep regularly. the feeling that i have no purpose of very poor sleep tend to be the biggest factors for me, so the reminders help as well as the doing things(even setting aside an hour to do nothing but relax and let my mind wander), maybe this will help someone else?
So difficult to get out of the vicious cycle of depression ,
Get depressed screws up things depressed again repeat
Anxiety as a booster to the cycle
The irritability screws up social life,career
I favor these videos. I have crippling clinical depression and it leads me to extremely dark thought for myself and others. It makes me feel not so alone in a isolated and hopeless point of view. I am internally grateful for your work. Even if it's just spreading the news.
This video changed my life I am on the verge of tears right now
It’s definitely not just a chemical imbalance for me. I’ve been on and off different meds for years and they never really have done a huge amount for me other than remove the deepest lows. More helpful had been therapy over the years. But even that, and the combination of meds and exercise and meditation and more have only very slowly lead to progress. For me anyway it seems clear that how I was raised, bullying and other childhood experiences had a huge role to play.
THANK YOU for these videos! They are helping me with a big plan I have had for decades.
Did you hear about the dog suffering from depression?
He's going through ruff times.
Paw guy.
you cured my depression
Bruh
🤣As a severely & chronically depressed woman? I can't believe I just laughed - hard!!!!
💗TY💗
who knows Wow, that easy huh
That, "depression is genetic" is very prevalent in my family. Me, my mom, and all of my siblings have depression and some sort and severity of anxiety.
Before I got my medicine that worked for me, I was always irritated and angry. I had no patience for anyone or anything. That also explained my family not having any patience for me when I was a young annoying child.
I am on the SNRI Effexor. I have been on and off for nearly 20 years, exploring 2-3 years at a time understanding how I change on and off. I've always been told I wouldn't feel it for months. I have always felt my first dose within hours. But I do still continue to feel benefits months later, bit by bit. It gives me more mileage from therapy, nutrition, exercise, and other factors in my life.
I'm starting SSRIs tomorrow. Thank you for this video. You have helped me to accept my medication. This is important work that you are doing. Keep it up!
this makes so much sense.. this is why i dont remember a lot of things
You're not alone ❤️
Sophia B dang it now all I can think about is dear Evan Hansen
I am here with you.
@Sophia B.❤THATS TRUE!!💝
ALSO,IF SOMEONE BEGINS TO ISOLATE THEMSELVES,PLEASE,REACH OUT!!❤
@@SamanvitaSinghania SORRY TO ASK,WHAT IS DEAR EVAN HANSAN?MY BEAUTIFUL,FUNNY,INTELLIGENT DAUGHTER,LIKED THIS,&I'M OUT OF TOUCH,WITH CURRENT CULTURE!(OLD🤗💝,)
Alistair Downie it’s an amazing musical about anxiety and depression, I highly recommend you listen to it!
My memory is getting worse and i'm pretty sure it's because of depression
I'm going through ECT treatment right now for depression. I'd love to learn more about how/why it works
@@adamagustus1316 that's why I have my notifications set on 😋
is this real? ect for depression!? it is a last option for you, right? please tell me you already try other treatments
Every med I've been on made me worse or had side effects that were too much to deal with. Lexapro sent me to the mental hospital 🙃
Got an ad saying: enjoy every moment
My condition (multiple scelorosis)
Had hit me so hard 2019 with Intense fatal depression.
Had looked for help from 4 hospital, last one being cleaveland clinic.
Now I've been through so much...
Suicidal thoughts kept knocking on the door...
My mental health sort of jumped off burj khalifa (tallest building)
Didn't take any mess, had went to a therapist... Just once. Still feel so bad...
Yet.. I am still standing...
I know y'all aren't doctors but you definitely helped convince me I should see one.
Also what's all this about nothing funny to say about depression? It's like, the majority of humour aha. Of all the videos to not feature a plethora of awful puns. No, the depressed people don't deserve jokes!
I kid I kid. Love you guys. Been tuning in for years. Best crew.
this is a really great video with a great tone. something to share with those close to you.
I'd love to see an episode about PMDD. I have a friend who suffers with it. It is so debilitating. It's painful to watch her suffer.
I'm in this Depression boat. Finding a therapist who specializes in Asperger's who takes Medicare/Medicaid in East Tennessee is impossible. The closest ones are four hour drives away. The ketamine clinic here in town, each session costs several hundred dollars, and only the talk therapy is partially covered. I can't keep straight what I needed to do to get the charitable help from the place they referred me to, plus I'm in bankruptcy, and trying to get help from two other agencies for energy assistance and home repair.
I can't keep it all straight in my head. I was a hoarder. I'm living in filth, waiting to die, but I don't want to be. I used to have goals, and I met many. I used to have friends. I used to be proud of my home, yard, collections, body, and just being helpful to others. I'm a 53 year old widower, former caregiver for almost 8 years, living with undetectable HIV for 24 years, artificial hips for 19. My pets have gotten old. One died of a heart attack last July 5th (neighborhood fireworks), another of old age February 17th, and the last is at the end of his breed's lifespan, slowing down, and in mild pain, losing his sight. My only, and younger, sister died in 2018 of her final cancer surgery, after fighting two kinds, twice.
I just can't handle it all anymore, and my friends are all dead or estranged, dealing with their own aging issues. I'm just one person, but I'm saying all of this not to beg for help, for money (not that I'd turn down either), but just to help people understand: if it's like this for one person, how many others face similar issues, and maybe have it worse? Nobody kind deserves to feel like this every day.
liked this compact,dense presentation a lot. you both manage to convey excitement and reasonable hopefulness. very good work. thank-you.
I’m looking back on this video after being diagnosed with depression, and I realized how many signs I missed..
SNRI's saved my life
I was so good at the whole rumination thing, that even I didn't know I was angry. And after somewhere between 12-17 years of that, I start seeing a therapist who starts asking me to express my anger which confuses and frustrates me since I'm not angry. A couple years after that, I start taking meds. Then, after a couple more years, I get a side effect and have to go off all meds to see if they're the cause. The dam breaks. It's a month of hell for everyone around me. My mental walls are gone and so are the ones the meds erected in their place. It's shocking to me how much anger I had with nowhere to direct it. We were all thankful when I was able to get onto some new meds.
I can't believe you didn't mention Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) therapy. I have treatment resistant major depressive disorder. Over the years, I have taken seven different medications in many different drug classes. Nothing helped. I have had hundreds and hundreds of hours of therapy which didn't work either. TMS has been extremely successful for me. My first treatment left me completely depression-free for 2 years. I then had a maintenance treatment, which has worked for 3 years. I will be having a another maintenance treatment in July. Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) therapy. Approximately 50% to 60% of people with depression who have tried and failed to receive benefit from medications experience a clinically meaningful response with TMS. About one-third of these individuals experience a full remission, meaning that their symptoms go away completely.
Congrats on 500k subs!
Young or old, depression unites us all!
And one of the other big complications is that depression can often result from long-term illness, and medications prescribed to manage those conditions can interact with antidepressants in a way that decreases their effectiveness or increase the likelihood of side effects.
*TRIGGER WARNING*
My bf once told me that if he ever caught me self-harming, he'd take the tool away and tell me to do it to him. Cuz why should I be the only who deserves to bleed for their mistakes? I've never been able to answer that question, and it creates a real problem when I try to convince someone else not to self-harm, even though _I_ still do it to this day.
This year I realised I've had depression for more than half my life. That's depressing in and of itself. I hope one day we can have a cure, I don't think I've had very much true joy in my life
Each and every cut in this video has an audio clipping issue where the first word of each segment is cut off. Good compilation but could use someone going back over it to fix these issues.
it's no point for me, depression has ravaged my life so much for so long that removing the depression veil is only going to expose the mountains of mess and failures i left behind and it will just give me a rational sense of sadness and insecurity. no medicine is going to fix that.
You are NOT a failure, don't dwell much on the past failures, each day is a new day to dream and achieve. I pray for you to heal faster.
@@MayankRamnani1802 Thank you so much for your kindness! i completely forgot about this. a year ago i was in a very dark place. a number of people passed away in my life in very quick succession, i lost my job, and because of the grief and depression i also lost my girlfriend at the time. a year later though not in an ideal place i'm in a considerably better place. I'll pray for you and your loved ones prosperity and health. again, thank you. such a pleasant surprise to see kindness on the internet.
@@Serso70 thanks a lot! I am really thankful for your prayers and blessings since I'm struggling with OCD and anxiety and have faced two sudden deaths in the family due to covid, so I try my best to stay positive and fight against my negative thought patterns, SSRIs are working, but I for now it's a daily struggle and I'm forcing myself to be positive, I wish all those who have had or are currently facing depression and anxiety get healing and enjoy their lives to the fullest.
Very helpfull, informative and accurate all in one video. Good job guys. Congrats 👏
I've been Struggling with depression my whole life. Antidepressants always have made things worse for me, also. I'm always feeling tired, and my memory isn't that great. I've tried 7 different Antidepressants, 3 of which brought on overwhelming suicidal thoughts. After the last one, I was not comfortable continuing trying to find "the right one"
I am now on Lamictal, which makes me feel numb to everything. It was described as a 'mood stabilizer' and used to treat Bipolar disorders. The other downside is that I'm always tired. I yawn constantly, and I can doze off if I'm not careful. Those around me say I seem more 'normal' so I continue it, even though I don't exactly like the way I feel.
I have always felt sluggish, and slower than everyone else around me. Takes me longer to process information, and as I've stated above my memory is terrible. I don't project emotions like others I see, and can't say I've ever felt things like joy or surprise. Theres always been a preasure from others, mostly my family, to be normal. At this point I don't theres any meds that can help.
you are not alone brother keep strong!!😌🙏💪
Please be aware that depression can also just be a symptom of another disease or disfunction. I have been diagnosed with depression about 10 years ago, but it turned out that I have ADHD which hasn't been diagnosed in my youth which then made me depressed because I got all the bad feedback, was distracted, felt different and not accepted by others (ans much more).
I take Citalopram, have done for over a decade, the main problem is that it destroys my libido and makes climax imposible.
Recently came off years of antidepressants because of this^^ it started out as a subtle loss of interest then slowly spiraled into painful unbearable sex. Wish I'd noticed and went back to the dr sooner.
6:55 Yes, yes it very much does. It started as a teenager and just got worse and worse, I felt guilty about *everything*. I would never ask my parents fo things because I was certain I cost them too much money. Whenever one of them would call me for something I suddenly got super nervous because I didn't remember doing anything wrong, but what if I did. I fell out of touch with friends, not because I didn't like their company but I didn't want to waste their time. Everything was my fault and it took a long time to stop assigning blame automatically.
I can't seem to break my smile no matter how much I wanna scream I need help I just can't bring myself to do it. Everyday I smile and smile and when people say "you look dead inside" I really am but they never ask further when I say yup I just need someone anyone yo recognize my pain
The first step is understanding that others don't have to see your pain, YOU need to see it and be willing to do something about it. I have been depressed since I can remember and no one else understood because I was always smiling / happy. Took me years and videos like this to realise thT depression is about 'internal dialogue' more than external presentation.
Thankfully there are videos like these, which help me understand when I'm in a cycle earlier and earlier. Self-care is CRITICAL for folks with depression, so lear to recognize what care you need and actively practise it. We teach people how to treat us, so start by paying attention to your own needs and stop expecting someone else to fix you.
Omg yeeeeesssss! I try not to stay stick on negative thoughts but it's like trying not to breathe. I have every symptom of depression and anxiety. I practice gratitude but man depression and anxiety suuuuucks and ot plaques me day in and day out.
Hank: CYP2D6
My literal autistic brain: okay gotta remember that and repeat it in your head for an hour
Awesome information. Right now I could say that I probably have some form of dysthymia. However I cant say that its not too severe, although I may be underestimating the worst moments. Also as I read the internet the word is usually used for periods of depression that last like years. I am usually in waves. As far as I have tracked it I can be in depression for like weeks and then be fine for weeks too. These periods are rarely or never (I cannot recall) longer than a month. Rumination is right. I overthink a lot, I feel guilty a lot while sometimes I get angry easy and Im irritable and sometimes I feel just right. Losing interest in anything is right in the worst periods, having low energy too. There are a lot of loose ends in my psyche which I constantly try to resolve. By overthinking of course :D. However I am always thinking and analyzing a lot. In the bad moments this is bad, but on average I managed to figure out a lot of my problems and now I dig deeper.
All in all I think it may be beneficial to see a psychologist, because Ive reached the conclusion that the bad moments are unreasonable and are eating a lot of my time. I should try doing something in that line soon - is what I say to my sometimes lazy sometimes depressed ass. Soon. :D
Correction
Minor depressive disorder fits my condition best. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minor_depressive_disorder
Thankyou 💞
Wanted to throw out a suggestion for a video topic. PMDD. As someone diagnosed myself, i would love to see a video about this topic. I didn't know about it prior to my diagnosis from a therapist. I'm guessing others don't either. I would love an episode on women's mental health. Hormones play a huge role in mental health apparently. It would be interesting to explore.
Even on the better days of depression I still feel empty and tense, my head hurts and I feel tired. People describe it as feeling empty and cold inside and that’s how it feels, my head feels empty. It’s like when you’re sick and even when you laugh for a second you don’t feel good. It started when I was 11 or 12.. probably 11 honestly but I’ve been depressed for about 4 years. I don’t have suicidal thoughts like I did in middle school.
I have arthritis and fibromyalgia, as well as a skin disorder, all of which cause a lot of physical pain. I've grieved for long periods after having loved ones die, who I was very close to, young and old. I've had tons of injuries, from sprains, fractures, head traumata, torn ligaments, some nasty burns, broken teeth etc... All of the physical, mental, and emotional pain that I've endured in my entire life doesn't even come close to 1% of what I experienced when I had severed depression as a result of bad psych medication I took for a short time. I was on those pills for exactly 4 weeks and the time it took me to recover from what they did to me was over 600 days. Depression is worse than anything and I can't even really explain why. You could win the lottery and not even care all while being terrified that you're burdening those around you for existing. If I had to pick between being depressed or being lit on fire, I'd take the fire gratefully, with tears of joy.
Makes me wonder if a study was done to find what was the same or different between the varying types of depression.
This is sad. There is plenty I can relate to in this video.
I was expecting some mention to Ketamine, DMT, LSD or Psilocybin research on the topic 🤷🏽♀️
Too busy chatting about 💩 we know doesn't work, to talk about things that might.
They did ketamine here czcams.com/video/Nx6pb73jBTg/video.html, and I'm pretty sure they did lsd too, awhile ago. But as that is a more controversial topic, ad sense dictates leaving those out of this compilation.
Research on these is still pretty current, so I wouldn't expect most sci-comm outlets to cover them (or at least cover them well). Here's a review on ketamine though if you're interested: f1000research.com/articles/7-659
Afreakingmen! A lot of good information here! Wish more people knew this!
And someone needs to tell my soon-to-be ex-husband something along the lines of: if someone you claim to care about is depressed, how does doing something guaranteed to make them MORE depressed sound like a good idea?
Part 4 made me think, both my mother and I have depression, and use the same medication and dosage to cope with it successfully. Very interesting.
I've been depressed my whole life. Did try SSRI's briefly but I found I couldn't think while I was on them (which wasn't helpful as I had a lot of assignments to get done). Maybe I'll try again in the near future while I'm between things.
I used to have disabling depression and anxiety, now I have that AND burning nerve pain on my skin, which they also tell me is anxiety, the physical pain is awful and it makes my already horrible depression and anxiety so much worse
My mother had depression or anxiety and it caused her to have nerve endings on her legs to form areas of intense itching. So you could be having nerve ending problems that cause your pain. But having said that, if you haven’t gotten a second opinion, please do. Another doctor may be able to figure out that you have a different diagnosis with different treatments. I really recommend stretching and meditation. They really helped me
They seem to focus exclusively on the biological and neurological causes of depression, as if there are no social circumstances that tend to lead to depression. But social, economic, and political factors can bring on depression as well and such causes get consistently ignored.
I was put in lexipro and I started feeling it that day. I was pretty skeptical, and omg the stomach pain 😭
All good info, nothing new for me though. One thing I'm a bit skeptical of is that memory loss and forgetting how to do things (and being lost in time) is because of rumination. I had almost no rumination with my depression, also I had no guilt or self hatred. Still I could not think. I lost simple math even. It was like dementia. Forgetful, stupid and tormented. Most abilities came back when I got better, but my short term memory never came back totally. I more think my brain was shutting down for some reason. Part from being tormented I had no emotions, not even sadness. Sometimes anger. I don't know why my depression was so atypical but I'm toying with the idea of too much inhibition. A brain that worked overtime trying to stop itself from working.
Nice video post. Thanks! Hope u r having a nice day! 🌞
One of the worst parts for me is the memory problems. I’m a student, and when I’m at a lecture I often don’t remember what I’m about to write down the moment I’ve written the first word in a sentence. It’s super annoying. I don’t have problems with long term memory though, so I can still study even though I can’t do it full time (40h a week) but rather 1/4 pace (10h a week).
Tried 7 antidepressants because the others stopped working without overdosing or had bad side effects lol
Depressions really suck..
CosmoCortney research “ketamine infusion therapy for treatment resistant depression”. There is likely to be a clinic somewhere near you.
Have you guys ever gone over bright light therapy for depression?
I honestly know I need help. I've needed help for a while, but I feel like I can't get it because of my living circumstance. Frankly I think I'm going to be dead, or in jail before I ever finish school.
@@-G-Mac- I've thought about calling one of those hotlines, but I'm afraid they'd want to put me in a locked ward again, and if I failed my program because of that then I don't know what would happen after that. I feel like I just have to suppress everything because thats what everyone around me is telling me to do, and I'm dependent on them until I finish school.
Definitely have the guilt and rumination. I do everything "right" like diet, exercise, pray, have life experience, try new things, but I'm still depressed half the time. Has seriously impacted my work and relationships with other people. Imagine working with someone who cycles with being in a good mood and being shut down/not even saying hi for no reason. I'm on Day 2 of Lexapro, I pray we get through this struggle, in Jesus name.
How can I fix me? It runs my life and it’s so hard to keep going. I can’t hold down a job, I can never finish anything I start, im so miserable. I’m on medication, but it’s not working anymore. Day by day it’s getting harder to fight it.
I hope you're still hanging in there. I'd recommend looking into applying for disability, as well as talking to your doctor or therapist about switching to a different medicine or adding a secondary one like Abilify. Even though everything sucks and it feels like there's no point in trying to do anything, convincing yourself just to get up is a victory. Finding little things to do like crosswords or jigsaw puzzles or even just havinf a plant can help you to feel like you're getting things done as well as to keep you from laying in bed and spiraling. Finding ways to externalize your negative feelings can also help. Before I had my depression under control, I would sometimes paint or draw what I was feeling and when I felt angry or wanted to hurt myself I would shred newspapers by hand. It sounds weird, but it was satisfying and a good outlet for those emotions. I know it gets old being told this, but it gets better.
When I started taking antidepressants, I felt different instantly. Not happy, or better, even. I felt like I cloudnt think. The way thoughts came to me were completly different. I don't know how to explain it, it's like my world was flipped completly upsidedown. I couldn't form a thought unless I put it into words.
What an uplifting video
Can you do an episode like this looking at women specifically and depression and anxiety as well as sleep deprivation from hot flashes and the brain fog associated with the estrogen changes in our lives like puberty, pregnancy, perimenopause, and menopause please?
Me, suffering from both depression ánd irritable bowel syndrome:
"Can I have a pint of SSRIs please?
Oh, do those help?
@@lindenshepherd6085 15:23
I don’t know who I am anymore, lost a relative, many friends and I can’t trust people anymore, not even my own parents.
I used to cut myself and throw up food, but I stopped. I’m so sensitive, I’m seriously crying every night.
I heard a voice calling my name, but I was home alone, i don’t think it was real! Sometimes I seriously see my old best friend (which moved away) but then realised that she wasn’t there, I can’t even trust myself! I think I’m going crazy and idk what to do ;(