Instead of leaving a negative comment, I'm going to run it back and just wish all woman well with whatever choices they may make in their life, I hope you are happy and proud of yourself and the life you are living. My best wishes to woman.
No, there is nothing wrong with choosing to be a homemaker. It's just tone deaf and strange for 1) a man to speak at this graduation addressing women, 2) make it about himself and his wife's experience, 3) only focus on how it went well for them. This dynamic (homemaker, 1 bread winner of the household) does not always work out or is ideal for every family. This is not a space to focus on YOURSELF- it's time to celebrate the students who worked their tail off for something THEY chose.
You do realize the speech was 20 minutes long, right? He addressed both men and women and talked about a lot of Catholic values and struggles in general (at a Catholic college!). You and most people are getting upset over a few seconds for no reason, talking like the man went up there, preached at women and left. Editing to say as well that you have no idea what the students chose. One can take a degree for multiple reasons, and at a Catholic college it’s very likely that the women there do want to be homemakers more than climbing the corporate ladder.
@@popuri48 but those few seconds he did was really undermining the very hard work of those graduating women. That’s the issue. It’s like after working for so hard on something, then your boss tell you that it’s worthless and you’re not getting paid. Not something you should say on a Commencement Speech. Clearly those women going to College in hope to become more than just homemaker.
8:46 Imagine being a dedicated mother, who also mainted a career and the son, *that YOU raised and you PAID college fees for* is *sh*ting on you like that. 😅 (Another point to not get married and have babies, my god.)
@@joshualukas2666 No, you’re wrong. It’s a Catholic college. It’s very likely that those women do want to be wives and mothers the most. Also, not everyone goes to college for the same reasons. I have a bachelor’s in law and I’m almost done with my master’s and I have no interest in climbing the corporate ladder, for example. You literally have no idea why those women chose to go to college. Finally, what do you mean be “more” than “just” a homemaker? See the issue? Everyone talks as if homemakers are less than. That’s why Butker highlighted homemaking. To say it’s okay to be a wife and mother, it’s okay to dream of that even if everyone else in the world acts like that’s not enough and that you should have a career instead.
I love my kids and I’m a career woman! I will always keep my career because men change and you will be stuck and bitter with nothing. God gave me a purpose to be a mom as well as having a career.
My mom was a homemaker to her 4 kids, then 26 years later, guess who left her to marry the girlfriend. Kicked my mom to the kerb, she had to go to college as a 50year old to be able to get skills to be able to get a job. She became a bookkeeper. She is a rockstar. I am super proud of her. 74 years old now and still working. She said she loves it and will work until the day she dies. But that’s the risk when you choose to become a homemaker. You loose your marketability. I chose both. A career and a family. It’s tough, I don’t have a homeaid. I still have to cook everyday, clean over weekends, wash and iron the cloths. It’s possible, you just have to settle for a less than perfect house. What I don’t get is. Why are people so hung up on what woman decide to do? Especially men. We all different. Stop telling us what is best for us. Everyone’s circumstances are different.
So true!! This is why I keep my career. Unfortunately, homemakers can’t leave bc they don’t have a career so they are stuck if the man treats them wrong.
Your mom is a SUPER HERO!!! She obviously has incredible life skills, she grew and raised a SUPER HERO in you. I love the admiration and respect you have for your Mom🥰
I think that the "lie" he is referring to is that a career in the workplace will be completely satisfying. For some women it will be, for others it will not. I know women who wish that they had gotten married and raised a family instead of pulling their career. But I also know women who wanted more than just being a homemaker. I also know women who have made both work in their lives. It is just up to the individual.
Totally agree. I just wanted to be a mother and wife and I was lucky enough (with sacrifice) to be able to stay at home. My daughters however probably won't get that chance and may not want that either.
It’s the same for men tho. People just don’t treat them like children who cannot make their own decisions. You’re not telling me all of the absent fathers who worked 24/7 and never saw their children were completely fulfilled and never regretted it. It’s up to the individual and the only lie being told is that there is such a thing as one size fits all
The key is that it’s a choice. A personal choice. Women used to not be admitted into colleges, or promoted professionally. Because of brave women in the past we now have options besides marriage to survive.
It's not because of "brave women". It's just a feminist lie, as usual. It's because certain lobbies saw it convenient to brainwash women into believing they wanted something they didn't actualy want. Part of the agreement was that feminism would support this decision and take credit for it.
While I agree with you mostly, I think the destruction of family and moral values paired with extreme feminism have taken it to such an extreme that it is now very difficult to be a stay at home mother for many women who want to be.
Because men throw a hissy fit when they see a successful woman, they wanna keep us small and submissive so they can use us as sex slaves and not have any competition from us in the work field
_"automatically get both"_ ... NO hell we don't!!! We still need women for a family!! Have ever seen a corporate goon lawyer raising a baby on his own?? 😂😂😂
In what world does our society applaud men who are workaholics? It's a very common thing to have Dad's s*** on for being workaholics and for not being involved in their kids lives.
Unfortunately so many men use and abuse women while they are homemakers. How many of us have dads that never appreciated our mothers ? Unfortunately not every man deserves a beautiful woman who will sacrifice her career dreams to raise him and his children.
We're talking now about women who gotta stay home, stop making everything about men again! I'm homemaker, and I would love to go to work instead of raising my child by myself (with husband home)and raising husband(15 years older than me)! 5 years long I serving husband, my daughter, been serving my husband's dad together even when I was pregnant. I wish I had good aducation and job instead of it. Do everything almost 24/7, no vacation, no rest, lika a slave, and all I hear "what do you do here? NOTHING" "YOU'RE LAZY"," I'm making money" "YOU'RE doing nothing". If compare abusive men /abusive women, it will be 80/20%. This is exacly why women fought for their rites! Before that they were submissive, taking care of themselves, kids, husband, and they only had cheating, disrespect and abuse in return! I'm happy for single working women who do not depend on men today, and don't have to ask permission for every $1 spend like I do! @@hopeleftme9680
More women might chose to be homemakers if they were valued by their husbands as much as he values his wife. Most wives don’t get any recognition or show of appreciation for staying at home and taking care of all that needs to be done. I hear my friends all the time complain that their husbands make comments that they get to sit around all day and do nothing. We as a society have devalued the job of homemaker so it makes sense to me why women would choose to do work outside the home that makes them feel valued.
@s.f.575 Not her looks. Looks are great and all but her character is the most important. Being someone who would be a good, kind, loving partner. Someone who has the potential or ability of being a good mother. Not being selfish (supporting her partner as much as he supports her). Most women you see now adays have big ego's, no loyalty, not emotionally intelligent (Knowing what to do about how you feel vs acting on how you feel. Self control.) Having accountability. It is not difficult being a good person man or women. Be realistic. Just because they look good doesn't make them valuable. Being "too much to handle" is not a flex. No one should have to "handle" any one. Just be a pleasant, loyal person.
I am 42 and a homemaker, I have been married to my incredible husband for 20 years. I left my job when we got married and did not finish college. He is now battling cancer, and has had his bladder and a kidney removed. Fortunately we have saved, life insurance, and other things setup just Incase. If we hadn’t planned and prepared for the worst when we married I would be incredibly worried right now as I do not have a college degree or career history. Being a homemaker is absolutely wonderful and I am so incredibly blessed BUT you need to have a contingency plan.
I’m so sorry about your husband’s health problems. I totally agree with having a contingency plan. Raising my kids was my priority, and then my marriage failed. It was very hard financially for a while, but my kids now have successful careers and I have a job that I love.
I was a homemaker from 20 - 29 when my husband died suddenly when I was seven months pregnant and just a few days past my 29th birthday. Six years later I'm almost finished a university degree and life has been very tough. He did not have life insurance and we did not yet have a contingency plan in place, he was barely 32 when he died. If I had a do over I would arrange things differently.
This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
I am sorry about what you have been through. I have been through something similar and was almost depressed, till I contacted a spiritual counsellor who helped me get my ex back and hence my life back
Online, you'll find shelly renee white, revered for her expertise as a spiritual counsellor. She has the ability to reunite couples and promote holistic well-being
I’m a stay at home mum- I had 17 years of working and then settled. Here’s the thing- I’m not very good at being a homemaker. When I did my absolute best there was 0 appreciation from the other half. I now slack in all my responsibilities because I hate feeling like my husbands mum. A husband is literally another child that needs taking care of. I don’t get it. I was happy to be a stay at home mum if my job was just to look after the kids but household chores still should be shared in some way- even if the wife does the bulk of it. I also had 3 years of PND after my daughter was born and got 0 help on overcoming that. It’s made me bitter and resentful. I had a great job and I miss my old life now. I love my kids and I see the benefit of being at home but it’s not as wonderful as he makes it out to be. That said he loves his wife and there is obviously a lot of appreciation there. I can see why the wife is happy in her role if she’s getting the proper attention she deserves.
I have a degree, and I'm a stay at home mom. It was not planned to be that way, I was supposed to go back to work, but let me tell you... the overwhelming urge to stay home was so intense. My husband was on my side, and I am so glad for it. My children are raised by their parents and not daycare.
@@Absurdity101 She didn't "throw shade" at anybody. It's just an objective truth that children being parented by their parents is better than children being parented by their teachers. If that's what *you* did, there's nothing wrong with that. Some people simply don't have the time, and that's their misfortune.
My mother was a homemaker and I wish my dad was as thankful with words as this man is. The title Homemaker needs much more love than it gets. I am very thankful of my mother deciding to be a homemaker over staying at teaching. I will always be thankful for that.
This, right here, is the thing. This is why women view the idea of being a SAHM as an insult. I remember being a kid and watching what my mom did, and how everyone just went around and screwed all her work back up two minutes later, and was like, "Naaaah.". I'm sure I'm not the only person who's had that feeling. Much older and wiser, of course I understand that kids are messy. But my parents both worked the same 12 hour shifts and my mom did that along with cooking, cleaning, organizing stuff, going to school meetings, driving people places, etc. It's not that my dad never did ANY of this, but my mom viewed it as her default responsibility.
I think positive affirmations can go a long way to both parties in a relationship. Homemakers do quite alot,much more than their other side might think. I felt like he wanted to recognize his wife somehow for her part in his life. Imagine anyone saying this to their other half that raises the kids. I think feeling appreciated really is very important. Communication is really hard for alot of people and being able to realize what they are thankful for.
I’ve seen first hand the difference in my children compared to myself. My mom stayed home and unfortunately for very good reasons I had to get a divorce. I was lucky I had a job that I was able to work a lot of hours and continue to keep my kids in the house they were in and the schools they were in thinking that was the most important thing I could do, but it came at a cost that I would not see until now that they are in their twenties. My oldest thinks I fluffed my mom responsibility onto her when I would have to work late(when she was around 15 there were sitters before that). My youngest and I have had several conversations about “doing it all alone”. Her boyfriend makes way more than she does and he likes to help her out but she’s adamant to not take any help. She’ll say mom you did it all those years with no one. I’ve had to explain that I would’ve loved to have a man who loved me and wanted to help me financially and emotionally and that I would’ve given anything for that to have been my life. And I think my words are softening her a little bit more every time. In a way I was lucky I was more like my dad so I had the strength to do it alone but my kids payed the price for my originally poor choice of a man. So yeah I applaud all the moms out there in good strong relationships even if they do work a little. The two parent nuclear family is under attack because the government has less control over the minds of those in a strong family especially if you throw God in there as this man has done.
@@Kathleen-vl5wsindeed, it is a thankless job. However, with society wanting to get back to mothers staying home, I’m noticing younger generations really holding it to a higher regard, as it should!
I come from a catholic country in which MANY women from my mother's generation were home-makers.... let me tell you one thing: NO. You would need an outstanding integral honest straight laced man to do that, and the reality is, most are not. Not catholic men, not mormon men, not muslim men. I've seen some horror stories from financially trapped home-makers and mothers. I swore to myself I'd never and I didn't.
This is the reality of ours lives. Women who don't know that will find out later when they're already trapped. Or there's a small chance that they'll be happy with a man like Harrison Butker. 🙄
I don’t think you can make a claim that most men or woman are anything based on your small pie of life and relationships. Especially a country that is inherently catholic. That’s like a breeding ground for people who want to differentiate themselves or find loopholes when their lives apparently have already been chosen since they were born,
You can't have it all at the same time. You just can't. Find what works for you. Everyone is different. I know career women who love it, and i know stay at home moms who love that too. Sometimes you can work different shifts or get grandparent help. Every home is different. 😊
Dear Amala I can only speak for myself but as a stay at home mum who had four kids , it’s one of the hardest jobs in the world to carry out properly but I can honestly say it was worth every minute of hard graft and when anyone asked me what I did I told them I was a Domestic Technician 😂 it’s not for everyone I know but when I look at my four adult kids now, all Graduates with good jobs , I smile and think, job well done mama.
I'm a woman and I got my bachelor's degree in IT science two years ago. and let me tell you, if someone gave a speech like that at my graduation, i've started a riot. I spent 4 years stadying day and night, working two jobs to feed myself and afford university, I put all my whole life on pause for the sake of my education, just to hear at graduation "my wife started to live when she became a mother". there's always time and place, and this was definitely not the time and not the place. it all souded more like his wedding anniversary speech. his words were touching, but i'm also not comfortable with putting words into his wife's mouth. it he wanted to promote motherhood then he could've asked his wife to give a speech. graduation speech is meant to congratulate and give some career advice, gradyation from college is a huge achievement. but instead he gave a sappy speech about how much his wife loves being a mom and how much he loves her. well, that's sweet but completely not related to the theme of the event and in this particular case insensitive to the point of bordering on offensive.
@@gracehol17I have one kid going to college for a law degree if I hear this at my graduation I'd start throwing things at him not all woman want that type of life I can't stay at home all day I'd get angry and board. I have a dream to fix the system portect the kids just because I have a family doesn't mean I can't have dreams if a man can work at his career so can I
@@gracehol17The world in general can be a place where your beliefs are not respected. At this graduation his Catholic audience at a Catholic school was perfect. The clip we all saw here is a very short clip of his 20 minute speech. He is an outstanding Catholic man. Speaking as a Catholic woman raised in the 60s and 70s, I wish we had had a speaker like him. Here is his entire speech. You can watch it or not watch it; but if you do, remember he is not there to speak to you. He is not there to speak to the world. He is there to speak to graduating Catholics. This audience gave him enthusiastic applause. He received a cheering standing ovation. czcams.com/video/-JS7RIKSaCc/video.htmlsi=oIPEXJFBwijWQp2u All the best to you and God Bless. 🙏
Look, as a homemaker with a college degree, it is not a waste of time to become articulate and educated before becoming a wife and mother. It’s surprising how much the ability to think critically and understand studies, arguments, etc, is essential for guiding a family through the mess of our present times. I think it was a good reminder that motherhood and homemaking are vital to the fabric of society, which is why everything is falling apart right now. Sometimes people need to hear something but may not want to hear it.
It has been 100 years or more since college was for the elite and accordingly cultivated "the ability to think critically and understand studies, arguments, etc." With the 1930s mainstreaming of high school and then the 1960s mainstreaming of college, that cultivation went out the window.
You’re absolutely right. I am a former attorney and law professor turned stay at home mom, and my education is far more vital to educating my kids then it ever could be to the working world. I’m doing something far more critical-taking care of and forming MY kids into adulthood. That is not anyone else’s job, and no job could be more important for my own family legacy. If we don’t all regain a sense of personal investment and focus on our own families, it all does fall apart.
The only thing that is more today is divorce which yes God hates but the world is a safer more abundant place today and women are living their own dreams and that's okay the Bible says a wife of noble character will work in the market and buy her own fields this is not all you have to be is a homemaker you are and your children will be okay if you work outside of the home God even says that
So it's woman's fault everything is breaking down, what ever that means. No it does not. Women have always worked, whether it was because they were poor, single mom's, or even because they live on a farm, and it is hard physical work too. He and you are very judgmental.
@@oasean So highschool and college should have remained only for the elite? Should women also not be educated? Your post reads as if you don't believe there should be public education. Where do you live, in Afghanistan?
He could've just thanked his wife for her dedication and sacrifice as he's achieving accomplishment. It was tone deaf and weird to speak on ALL women. Like women get left broke with children all the time. Or abused, cheated on, etc. Let's stop selling marriage and having kids as safe and fulfilling for ALL women.
@@zhongliimpact6220 It certainly wasn't all men. If some man hurt you, be angry at him. Stop using it as an excuse to be angry at all men. Actually, don't be angry at him. He's almost certainly not worth. Try to find some peace in your heart. Hate isn't healthy.
I am a Catholic wife and retired Catholic school principal. I didn’t meet my husband until well after I graduated from college, and I did indeed have a life before that. I think that the vocation of mom is a beautiful one, and matrimony is indeed a sacrament, but one can be a Catholic woman who is not called to be a SAHM. Odd graduation speech.
Good comment. That's how I felt about it. I wasn't offended, it was just weird and out of place for the occasion. The sentiment would have been more appropriate as a speech at his wife's birthday or some occasion honoring mother's and homemakers.
Why is he even bringing this up at a graduation speech? Be grateful for your family who supported you, your university, encourage your peers and move on. Nobody wants to listen to modern politics at a graduation speech.
@@deepakmenon6720 I’m sorry but then you’d rather he gave a hollow speech full of platitudes that anyone could’ve written? I actually think this is more valuable. Besides, if you actually listen to the entire speech… he was actually for the most part referring directly to Catholic ideals, including criticizing a lot of what the Church has done recently. Which makes sense at a Catholic college where students may be feeling disappointed. People are not taking the time to listen to the actual speech but they sure have plenty of opinions. It’s a great speech, imo. And tbh, if you’re not Catholic, it’s not even for you to begin with. Apparently he got a standing ovation 🤷♀️
This. Being a single working Catholic woman, this isn't what I would want to hear at my graduation, even if I technically agree with everything he said. Idk, maybe the rest of his speech was better.
@popuri48 explain how it is a hollow speech full of platitudes to say you're grateful for your family to support you through college. Are you dense? And if you can read you'll see how even catholic people don't necessarily agree with his idiotic speech.
The minimum salary for an NFL player in 2024 is $795,000 for rookies, up from $750,000 in 2023. This salary increases based on experience, with players earning $915,000 for one year, $985,000 for two years, $1.055 million for three years, and $1.210 million for seven years or more. It is much easier for his wife to decide to stay at home and raise his kids than it is for the majority of society.
The problem is that the majority of society loves to live beyond their means. For example, traveling has now become a mandatory thing to date most women.
100% I would honestly love to he a homemaker(can't have kids, so SAHM isn't feasible). But we can't afford it. And we live EXTREMELY reasonably, not outside pur means in the least. Hiw whole speech was SO tone-deaf
SAHM here and it is more expensive to pay for childcare. If I decided to go back to work, my entire salary would’ve gone to Daycare. So, why pay for someone else to raise my children. Living on one income is difficult, but it can be done. Too many families are living beyond their means. Living on one income can be done and you can be successful at it.
Untrue. Most people can’t afford to do it because they all want too much. My husband was making about $20,000 a year when we got married and as soon as our first child was born I stopped working. I had some part time jobs as our children got older and in school, but even that wasn’t until the younger one was 10. We didn’t have two new cars, we had two old used cars. We bought an old house that small but liveable. We spent years trying to fix it up and never did finish. You don’t all have to have a ton of expensive clothes, jewelry and electronics. Buy what you can actually afford with the one salary you have and it is something anyone can do if they REALLY want to.
@@lizthedisjointedzebra692 look into the Dave Ramsey method. I know so many families that use this and live debt free on one income. Believe me, it can be done.
I was a stay at home mom, whose husband made enough money to support our large family, but l realized that l was totally financially dependent on him, l did not want my daughter to be in this position, even though having children was the most rewarding part of my life. Any female should be able to support themselves because life throws you challenges. Most people nowadays need two paychecks to survive, that man is delusional if he thinks a woman should put themselves in that position of powerlessness. It’s not that simple!
So basically you're saying you don't actually trust your partner in order to entrust your livelihood to him. Gotcha. Not to mention that you can get vocational training for a job that will sustain you independently pretty damn easily at most community colleges. I know plenty of women that raised their kids and then decided to get a career. If we teach females not to trust the males they are in a relationship with, it's a self fulfilling prophecy that the relationship is ultimately doomed. Look at how dating is right now. It's a complete shit show because so many don't trust anyone and people aren't connecting like they used to.
@@TheSwauzzor something could happen to her partner and now she’s left with nothing. People die unexpectedly all the time 😢 it doesn’t hurt to have a backup in place (and hope for the best)
He never once said women should not have careers. He even acknowledged that most of these women will have careers. Y'all need to learn to listen with comprehension, it's embarassing.
Did he have anything to say to the young men and how to be a good father to all of those babies that those women were supposed to have? I have loved being a wife and mom, but I am also so much more than that. I did stay home with my children and support my military officer husband. But when those kids started school, I was encouraged to get out there and do the things I was interested in.
And as far as his mother, you don’t have to be too smart to know that her family meant far more to her than being a physisist. And no one has any idea about what part she played in raising her children.
As a stay at home mom who feels all the things about my life that he says his wife feels... it feels off that he would 1. Say it at a graduation, 2. Speak for her, rather than speaking for himself. I would much prefer for him to say how being a husband and father is the most important thing he will do. Yes a career providing for his family is part of that, but if he is going to lecture women about putting family first as the most important thing, he should do the same thing to the men. A career for men is in large part in service to his family, and in service to society. Men should put their women first. It's not all women's job to put their men first. If a woman is better off prioritizing motherhood, so to is a man better off prioritizing fatherhood. Money and prestige are empty except in service of those relationships. For a man to tell a bunch of women to focus on being a wife and mother feels patronizing. It's a message I want to hear from women, not from men, unless perhaps it is targeted as much at the men as the women.
I agree completely. It’s not that he’s saying completely false things, but it’s the context. He is giving this speech to, yes, a catholic college, but still a crowd of people who worked very hard for their degree. Instead of congratulating all these women, he is basically telling them their hard work is for nothing… he should have been uplifting both choices, and if he wanted to touch base on women being homemakers after earning degrees, then he should have been more smooth with it. Say both are great and to pursue your dreams, whatever they may be.
@@HelpImStuck763Feminine is amazing. Love and compassion by bringing others along. However feminism is a hateful ideology by women to hurt women. For example, feminist women criticize women who put their family first. Pure self hate.
Would be great if women were telling other women these things, however, most women are brainwashed and aren't saying these things but the opposite, the ones who are get called pick me's and male centered. Men don't need to be told they should be providers, we already know that. It's been drilled into our heads as long as most of us can remember that if we can't be a provider for a woman and a family that we are a failure. It isn't men that need to hear these things. This is one of the many problems with women today, what he said is true for the most part, but you have a problem with it because HE said it. That shouldn't matter and doesn't change anything about what was said or it's validity or the fact that it needs to be said.
I was a professional dancer with a very large European Dance Company. I also have multiple degrees. I retired when I had my children to stay home and raise them. Staying at home to be there for them, manage my house etc has been the hardest, most rewarding and fulfilling path I have ever trodden. Perhaps his message wasn’t eloquent but his intent was there. Women need to feel this role is a valuable option.
Agreed, thank you. The vast majority of society now makes you feel like a career is all you should aspire to. I didn’t even know it was okay to wish for marriage and kids the most until some years ago. It’s crazy how people don’t see how skewed society actually is! Everything everywhere promotes career women. So what’s so bad about one man speaking at a Catholic college about another option? It seems like if there’s any place for that it’s there.
“A valuable option”. Well, options are quantifiable. Value is quantifiable. How about we pay women for choosing this “valuable option”...and that doesn’t mean with room & board and being on call 24/7.
A valuable option. Yes. Valuable to society, to the well being of members of society…it is a choice which has a lot of value. You can not make everything of substance transactional and a commodity.. i am sorry for you if you think of motherhood and homemaking as such… i have lived both sides of the economic equation and I am so much happier being on call 24/7. 😊😉
@@heatherw.3528 Women aren't the ones who made or see the arrangement as transactional. And for the record, the Bible understands this concept, hence dowries.
Women fucking know that, but why not tell men too? Men can be stay at home dads if they want to, why not tell them that?? Or is it because they want women to be a second class citizen sex maid who lives only for a man??
Amala, you're always so on point. So nuanced and logical. Always showing up with a caring, respectful explanation as to what you're saying and i really think you are doing such a great job in reaching people and allowing them to learn different points of views. You and Taylor are so needed!
My parents are divorced too and I’m glad they are because their relationship was very unhealthy. But damn if I thought my mother liked a job more than she likes me I’d be pretty upset. Nothing wrong with a man highlighting how good being a homemaker can be.
Women are told being a mother is the greatest thing while also being told having a successful career is the greatest thing, how about not telling people what to do?
Why do people even care? Women/ couples should be able to choose which option they prefer. Unfortunately, raising a family on one income is barely feasable anymore nowadays. So I don't even see the point of asking a bunch of women to be homemakers. Many simply can't.
Remember the audience! They value marriage and family above everything else. Their priorities are God, family, country and job, in that order. He did not say they could not pursue careers. He did not say if they pursued careers it would not be rewarding. He did, however, stress that their greatest reward would be in their marriage and raising their children. Ask any mother, who has had a career and family, what is more important and valuable to them their family or their career? They will always choose their family over their career. And yes, women have been sold. A bunch of diabolical lies. Think about it women have more opportunities across the board, why are they more depressed than ever!? because they are told their career is more important, and they are nothing if they just choose to be a homemaker. Very excellent articulate poignant speech.
As a non religious “trad wife” I’ll say the greatest thing I’ve done with my higher education is pass knowledge along to our son. Traditionally women attended college for the pure sake of being educated, not for a career; but it’s nice to have that option and I’m grateful to the women that faught for us to be able to have it.
speaking as a man, you're wrong about fighting to be only to educated. People like Susan B Anthony not only fought for the rights of women to vote, but also the right for women to be economically independent and self-sufficient especially at a time when women were being denied economic rights unless you were into the upper part of society.
@@gloriathomas3245 You misconstrued what she said. You combined two separate statements into one. She said women traditionally attended college for education and SEPARATELY that she's grateful for the women who fought for the right to attend. Not that women fought for women to only attend college for education.
Women weren't even allowed to have own property or have a car note or a credit card without a male scient co signer before 1972 what do you mean women didn't want to go do professions when they got their education they just wanted to be educated question mark we weren't allowed to it was very difficult for women before 1920 or 1950s or 1970s to really pursue a career and be taken seriously come on you can't be that I need when it comes to our history
To be fair, you less you're religious, being 'traditional' only works if it fits your personal goals. Tradition is based on truth, truth is based on religion, brought through holy books like the Bible for us to read and understand morals and principles. It's good to follow traditions in most all cases, because they've probably proven to work for many people, but that's only because they have moral, truthful backing.
The late comedian Joan Rivers said in her time, the 1960s, women attended college and got married. They, "Were desperate brides." I am guessing these young women were from well to do families, people with money sent their kids to college, and wanted to find a husband with high earning potential and who would be a great provider. This hasn't been the driving motivation for a college education in decades.
Imagine being mad that a conservative Catholic speaking at a conservative Catholic college, with values they abide by when agreeing to to the school. The internet is ridiculous.
Some people get offended by the things evil people say even when it’s only said amongst those who share their evil views. Just because you are speaking to a captive audience full of sycophants does not validate your views, it just means you’re only talking to people who share your mental illness.
Yeah like he never said they couldn’t have a career Many stay at home moms when their children get older go to college and start careers they just put it off a little bit. I don’t get it.
People are made at his homophobic and sexist remarks throughout his speech referring to womens sole purpose being a homemaker and how there life does not begin until they are married, to a bunch of newly qualified women, he also brought into talks of abortion and matters of LGBT which are completely unnecessary in a graduation speech, he should be fired.
Can you not see how his speech was harmful? He basically negated all the work the women have done. Also, did he make a speech to the men, how their lives don't start until they become a father? That their purpose in life is to procreate?
>Catholic man espouses Catholic values to Catholic college graduates. >No booing, no protests, no screaming. >Receives standing ovation. >Internet mob watches 20 seconds of his speech. >”LOOK AT THIS TOXIC MASCULINITY P.O.S.!” My faith in humanity is on a constant roller coaster ride these days. 🤦♂️
I think he could have gotten the same point by just saying how thankful he was to his wife and reminding the women that both careers in motherhood and in the corporate world are honorable.
My great grandfather was a photographer in the early 1900's in a small town called Fort Fairfield in Maine. He was the town photographer and he died at the age of 36 due to tuberculosis leaving my great grandmother with two kids under the age of 4. She became the town photographer when he died.
@@Chkoubs I love how liberals denigrate homemaking, and constantly forget reality in favor of paranoid fears. 1) Most men live to their 70s, past retirement age. Odds are you will not be a young widow. 2) Only 6.4% of married men are unemployed. Odds are you will know a man is a deadbeat before you marry him, and thus won't marry him. 3) Rates of female-perpetrated violence are higher than male-perpetrated (28.3% vs. 21.6%). I actually use to work as domestic violence intervention specialist, and the idea that women should fear marriage because men are abusive is the most absurd nonsense imaginable. First of all, if you aren't a drug-addicted, alcoholic with a history of childhood abuse, you probably won't marry an abusive man. If you're a college-educated, upper middle class woman then the chances of you being abused are astronomically low and shouldn't factor into the decision to get married, though red flags should not be ignored.
I am a current female student at Benedictine College and it’s honestly so crazy how much this speech has blown up! I was not at the graduation speech but I watched it and talked to some of my female classmates who were there about their opinions on the speech. For me: I think the message is not a bad one but that it was said at the wrong time and place. I think for a graduation send off speech, it should’ve been a proper send off involving their hard work and accomplishments. Being called to marriage and motherhood is a huge responsibility and not an easy task. I commend any woman for choosing it and pray that it goes well. I think he could’ve still brought up the importance of Mothers and SAHM but not make it the whole speech. One of my female friends who was at the speech thought that it was bit preachy and too much for a graduation send off. She’s Catholic too but thinks he went too far on some topics. Also BC is a very pro-marriage and family campus and so a lot of students, both male and female, go to college to meet a likeminded person to get married to. So many men and women in that room are either dating, engaged, or married. I personally know several engaged/married. That’s just the culture there. Also there’s more women than men at the campus so majority of people in that room are women.
But then it seems to me like the speech was a good thing? He took the time to address a majority of women instead of ignoring them, and if a lot of people already go there with intentions of getting married it seems like what he said was aligned with that? Idk I thought it was a good speech. People are going way too crazy.
@@popuri48he started ragging on surrogacy and ivf. the man took the opportunity to give a politically charged speech (brought up biden too, which like ya he sucks but dude😭). i just think it was super unnecessary and super out of place. lowkey misogyny.
To me, it felt like he was putting certain things into perspective. While it certainly isn't a bad thing to have an aspiring career path in mind, being at home and supporting the family needs to a big part of it too. The same should certainly be said for the husband as well!
I’m not mad at Butker. He’s a traditional Catholic speaking at a traditionally Catholic school (Benedictine College is NOT Notre Dame). What I think happened was that the wrong people caught wind of his speech and turned it into a spectacle for the rest of the world, for which his message was clearly not intended. I’m sure that most of the people actually in attendance at this graduation are in agreement with him or at the very least, not offended. As a traditional Catholic woman myself who graduated from university almost a decade ago, his message resonates deeply with me. I WISH that my younger self would have heard a speech like this at my own graduation. I always intuited that being career-obsessed wasn’t sustainable and that my future family would be my true vocation, but at that time there were no influential voices like Butker’s to help me fully realize it. Instead, I squandered years of my life into hyperfixating on my job, subsequently blowing off steam from all that burnout by partying/drinking/entertaining dead-end relationships, and completely neglecting to learn any practical life skills for taking care of a home and family. Thankfully I’m catching up now, but oh how helpful it would have been to have had at least SOME idea on how to properly cook and prep meals, keep an orderly home, cultivate a healthy marital relationship, and educate/parent small children before now. A message like his would have saved women like myself from years of depravity and heartbreak. I would have been reminded to place my identity in God and have a better understanding of *vocation* (the means by which we are sanctified - for Catholics that means marriage/family or entering the religious life like becoming a nun or priest, etc. Coincidentally it’s *not* your professional career). Such knowledge would have enabled me to respect my soul and invest in myself so that maybe I could have entered family life with a better foundation and much less baggage.
I had a very similar course to my life and wish we had a speaker like him. Being in college in the 70s lead women in the wrong direction and to do things that weren’t good for them.
Oh my god, finally someone else who understand what vocation means in Catholicism. I've been reading so many comments for self-proclaimed Catholics who don't know anything about their own faith.
If you don't have children, you won't necessarily understand the truth of his statement. My university graduation was anticlimactic. My professional career as an educator was interesting, but it was a job I did to pay my bills. My life truly did begin with the birth of my first child. My life was blessed more deeply when my husband and I decided that I would stay home and educate our own children instead of the children of other people. I never hated my job as a teacher. The students and I learned a lot together, and I believe we even had fun. But nothing measured up to shaping the lives of my own children (and others through co-ops and tutoring I did over the years). This man was speaking in a heartfelt way. I believe he was trying to combat the uber feminist idea that you aren't a worthy person if you stay home and care for your children. There are many voices who shame young women who want nothing more than to be a wife and mother. There is NO shame in that. Some are called to missions, some to be CEOs of their own companies, some to be teachers or scientists...and some to stay home. I believe he was trying to affirm that that is a legitimate choice, not something to be embarrassed about. My own DIL was told by her parents that she must get a degree or get out. She's run several successful businesses and never has needed that degree for either. She is also a mother of two and recently decided to give up one of those businesses to focus on my grandchildren. My son makes enough that this choice is not a problem. What a blessing that is for those kids! I never expected "mother" to be one of my most cherished titles when I was growing up. But once I married and I became a mither, all the rest fell aside. I didn't give up using my talents. I still use them in different, creative, fulfilling ways. But truly, the degree acquisition was nothing compared to cradling my first (and every other) child.
As a catholic woman I don't agree with this, an speech for this occasion shouldn't be about telling others (women in this case) something like this. Yes, he can have his opinion and it's ok, but we have to be able to distinguish when to say something like this and when not to. I myself am an engineer and work and of course the day I have my children I would love to raise them and become a homemaker but I understand that is not everyone's cup of tea, women have the choice and we have fought a lot for this opportunities, it is a bit insulting to be told "oh yes you achieve all of this but probably you'll do better as a mother and wife" ,minimazing accomplishments.
He wasn’t minimizing anything. Simply highlighting the role of a homemaker, which society nowadays rarely does. People look down on women who choose to stay home as if they are less, but I don’t see anyone crying about that.
@@Lulu-l Yeah. The entire graduating student body that this speech was specifically for gave him a standing ovation. His 20 minute speech spoke to the men and women. Everyone loved it. They agreed with it. If you didn't, that's fine. But the speech wasn't for you. It was for them and they loved it.
As a Catholic, I am not offended, nor appalled by his speech. I watched the entirely of his speech. Do I agree with everything? No. But I get it and understand it. He's a very conservative Catholic and spoke at a conservative Catholic college with values that line up with him. Tiktok and twitter getting mad at him and trying to cancel him is hilarious. If it doesnt apply to you, then keep it moving. His beliefs and the beliefs of the students have no bearing on your own life. People are going to believe whatever they want. We are called to be mothers. That's just a fact. The child free crowd hate that. But he's not imposing his beliefs on you.
It’s true. The feminists of today are the biggest men hating group out there. One thing no one mentioned was all the applause that he received after he said that. Which is because he’s speaking to other Christian’s it’s not like they asked him to speak in commiefornia to a bunch of liberals. Truly a shame the hate on the internet for the Christians these days.
Feminine is amazing. Love and compassion by bringing others along. However feminism is a hateful ideology by women to hurt women. For example, feminist women criticize women who put their family first. Pure self hate.
The commencement speeches at my first college graduation was all about giving back to the college and community. It wasn’t about us at all. Harrison gave solid advice and had a real Catholic perspective. I would listen to this speech any day. I am glad that he didn’t beat around the bush. As a Catholic, it seems that it is never the right time or right place to be Catholic and speak about real Catholic principles. I am tired of the whole walking on eggshells thing because you are going to “offend” someone. He was speaking to Catholics in a Catholic space. If he can’t be free to speak clearly candidly there, then we have a big problem. I am unapologetically Catholic. Go Harrison!
They feel group responsibility as a man too and I guess they are dramatic. idk second guy was a bit in your face lol. Thing is as a woman if another woman whether straight or homosexual said something I dramatically disagreed with I would feel inclined to provide another opinion to show it's not a group sentiment.
Many of us are just rolling our eyes at them. They don’t speak for us. They simply provide the requisite amount of cringe suitable for any social media post.
There’s a time and place. It felt more about him than the actual graduates. It seems normal for most speakers to make a graduation about themselves, but there was a much better way to spread the message. For example, speaking to all students by saying yes career is important, but remember family and children may be more fulfilling compared to work…
I agree. Although I agree with his message that being a wife and a mother is fulfilling. It’s inappropriate to tell women that are graduating college they’ve wasted their time and they should go be wife and mother. It was not an appropriate time at their college graduation to undermine that accomplishment.
Women are lied to. Better they hear it now than later. Btw to the liberal with poor word comprehension. This is not forcing an issue the way liberals try to force issues. 🤡
I don't think we have a problem staying home in this generation. We just can't afford a one household income. And if divorced. Women should still always be provided for always.
@@jona5517 forever if it's marriage. I guess unless remarried. But if we are homemakers it's forever. Well either working or homemaker for me anyway. I'm even more for that when this guy told me he wouldn't even care if his wife who is a sahm died. Because he says he would have more money if she went to work. 🙄 We are there to add and work. But we are ultimately not a man's work horse. There is boundaries.
Agreed. I've met guys who want three to six kids and a stay-at-home-wife but they are studying to be an elementary school art teacher or something with an equally low earning potential, while living in a high-cost state with no intention of leaving. It seems like a lot of men who want kids want to raise them in poverty. My dad grew up in poverty but worked his a** off to raise his kids comfortably middle-class. I'm sorry, but I don't want to be a stay-at-home-mom if it means raising them in poverty. Very few men make the kind of money necessary for their kids to be raised comfortably and by a stay-at-home-mom. I also think it would be a slap to my dad's face to choose to raise my kids in the same living situation he worked so hard to get out of. It would literally be a waste of all the opportunities I have been given because of my dad.
If a women has decided to divorce her husband (I believe 80% of divorces initiated by women) why do you "have to be" provided for. You sound like the "I don't need a man, just his money" type which then provides me understanding of the "type" of women you are, which probably isn't comparable to Harrisons mother or wife.
I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with what Butker said. But I definitely think it wasn’t the most appropriate place for it. And he didn’t say they had to choose between a career and motherhood. He said he’d bet, for many, their greatest accomplishment will be motherhood. Not that they couldn’t feel accomplished in their careers. But we’re always told “when you look back on your life, you’re not going to fondly remember all of the meetings at work and how far you came in a company, you’re going to remember family and friends and precious moments with your kids.” I think that’s the moment he was reaching for but it didn’t land well with everyone.
I love it when women say "No man is going to tell me what to do!" Gentlemen, how many women in your lives have ever or are ALWAYS telling you what to do? 😁
The average person cannot afford to keep a wife at home with kids on one salary. I believe my husband was grateful that I could say "I've got this" when unanticipated bills came in. My grandmother was a housewife. At the end of her life she told me she wished she would have had the opportunities I had to find purpose and meaning outside her 1,000 square foot home. My kids were just fine by the way.
I graduated high school in 1979 and college in 1983. At this point, I could not tell you who the commencement speaker was at either ceremony, and I sure could not tell you what they said. Thank Heavens we did not have the internet then.
Good point! I graduated high school in 76 and college in 81. I don’t remember the speakers either! But I might’ve remembered if it had been someone like him. I’m Catholic and I saw what being a family meant as I grew up but in society in the 70s, we weren’t encouraged to do that!
I'm tired of the Internet chiming in on what certain groups like the religious should have to say. They have their views. And if women by this culture consent, it's no damn business of anyone else's to tear apart what they agree to. Btw I'm a stay at home dad, and while getting much flak from family saying I should be doing more - let me tell you there is no value greater than being available to your kids and spouse! ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉 We need to celebrate this!
I agree but he made it about himself a little..also he left out male homemakers (which I noticed right away). As a woman who has seen so many women fall into poverty after being left by the breadwinner and now left with raising the family makes me more hypersensitive. The job market is not amenable to women returning to the job make 10 plus years later.
@@susanarodriguez6888 yeah ur right, he did. That's a lot of the religious rhetoric unfortunately. I know, I think about that a lot too, being out of work for some years, if anything happened, how hard it would be to get an adequate job if needed. But honestly, in life there are so many risks we take every day. And if we were to look at everything with glass half empty, none of us would do anything. Fortunately for both men and women, there are wayyyyy more opportunities to Even work from home. The male home maker in religion is hugely frowned upon. I remember when we made the decision for me to stay home with the kids, because it was way less stressful, certain family members accused me of not being a man, bc I was not the sole provider. It took years to not feel worthless just bc I wasn't earning a paycheck, and there is still some strain with the family. But I just grit my teeth and push on. Are you married?
That narrative that you said is unlikely to happen. It happened to me. He didn't run off with the secretary, but he was paying all the bills, and I did have his child. I did not want my daughter to grow up in a separate parent home, so I stuck with him through physical abuse. I had no marketable skills because he purposely got me pregnant at the age of 18. I could not find a job that was within school hours and I did not trust anyone with my nonverbal kid so we were living out of my car for a few years. While my daughter was in school I pursued a degree and got a job that worked for her schedule. We now live in a two-bedroom Brick House and go on vacation every year, which is something her father could not provide. Before I forget he has not paid child support ever, so I am doing this completely on my own
I am so sorry you have had these experiences. God is with you, and he is watching over you. He cares about you, and you are not alone. I will keep you in my prayers
As someone who used to be a small business owner and has a grad degree, I would say my life truly began when I married and had babies. I found true purpose in caring for all the people in my home. And I received hundreds of more marketable skills as a homemaker than I ever did in college. I can cook, bake, sew, garden, conflict manage, budget, teach, fix plumbing issues, paint, decorate, cut hair, and a thousand other skills that I can now do from being a homemaker. The greatest skill I think I left college with was how to tap a keg. I wish people were more honest like this speech
I have all of those qualities and skills - and I do not work. But just because I am not married...all of a sudden...I shouldn't Stay at home, But instead "go get a job." Obviously a low paying one without Education; since I am only a woman. Conservative husbands love housewives and Stay at home moms (everything for the kids) - until they meet a younger woman to make their new wife. Then all of a sudden, their ex-wives become accused of laziness and gold digging for continuing staying with their children and making them a home.
@@frijofroisdeern3783this statement is a generalized statement, not all men are like that. And you're talking as tho conservate men are the evil or this world or something. I guess it's the American agenda to paint people with christian values as evil
@@frijofroisdeern3783 the problem here is the husband, not the wife. He will have to answer for leaving his family. His pressuring her to neglect the children and enter the workforce says more about him than it does about her. It doesn’t make being a homemaker any less important of a pursuit. Please don’t use the example of a degenerate man to paint all conservatives a certain way.
@@frijofroisdeern3783 What are you even talking about? Saying conservative men move onto a younger woman is ridiculous. Firstly, ANY kind of man OR woman does that shit. Secondly, this doesn't happen for the majority of people in relationships. You are seriously projecting or something..
I used to strive to be a career woman and even delayed having children until all the career boxes were ticked. Now that I’m a mom, I totally agree that being a mother has been the most fulfilling, it has given me the most confidence, clarified my purpose, and is hands down the most important job I’ve ever done. I feel as though being a mom brings out the best in me. I didn’t expect that and I had friends discourage me from this path because they believed it would ruin my life. I don’t think he was discouraging women from pursuing their careers, just letting them know the joys of being a wife and mother, and it’s okay for them to purse this path. I don’t see a problem with him mentioning this at graduation. There are women waiting to hear this. As for having something just in case something happens to your spouse, there are various types of insurance for that.
The point of original feminism was having options and be free to decide on our own. The woke cult is preventing women's freedom and safety worse than what 'pathriarchy' did in modern times. They're taking away our choices with indoctrination and mob tactics, they make us work more than men, put us against men, put men in women's spaces and just use us as pawns with no value. And they also retaliate against anyone who dare to be different. It's the same oppressive method, again damaging women, disguised under a different flag
its CRAZY to me that people talk about "being a homemaker" as some kind of sentence... like you are the glue that holds together a legacy, a family. The home is where you foster love, memories, you can fill it with the things that mean the most to you, etc. It's crazy to me. Insane. You cannot have a exquisite home life when you spend 20 hours at home per month. My mom and dad claimed their roles and I and my 3 siblings learned what it means to work hard and prioritize and SACRIFICE.
Your words are beautiful, it's a shame that in practice it's not like that and it's precisely because we grew up seeing the reality of women in our families who gave up their careers to serve the house that we see this as a sentence, It's shocking how many women are unhappy with their lives as housewives, so yeah, we have an point ig.
Most young people have spent four years and thousands of dollars on a worthless degree that will probably get them a job at Starbucks. Talk about that reality.
@@Prinouisse its the result of the inflation caused by women in the workforce but its too late now, prices are up. The issue is materialism and the evil mindset that if you dont own a good home you're not worthy of being a human.
Imagine: the left are pro companies! In the 1960 companies had to pay the man a living wage. Now they get two workers for the price of one. And women have to work AND be homeworkers. All in the name of progress. Don't get me wrong, women should be able to get skills and to work. But not every woman makes a "career". And telling women it is empowerment to give your body to please men doesn't seem very progressive to me either!
Right? Like I was thinking that other "right wing" youtubers like Charlie Kirk or even Brett Cooper would be very much in favour of the speech but Amala's take is a lot more balanced and considerate of both sides.
nah she seems pretty radically left wing facist in this video she listens to 20 seconds of his 30 min speech and projects what she thought he said for most of the speech what he said is what the majority of not just americans but humans think i guess you and amala can have fun dying with no one at your death bed and no family to leave a legacy with must be a fun fullfilling life let me tell you! but seriously she really makes her self look ignorant from this video
The message should go to both the men and women graduating that the greatest thing they will do is have children. That’s what makes his speech sexist bc he was specifically directing it at the women. Apparently it’s not as important for men to recognize they need to be fathers.
Exactly. It could've been a good message if it wasn't aimed at women only and basically reducing their degree to nothingness. Career and family are separate goals in life.
@@user-lj5wy9hz2y Because that’s not what Catholics believe. Catholics believe the role of a man is to lead their families, not be homemakers, that’s the woman’s role. And you can disagree with that, but you people need to start understanding that others have different viewpoints and that while maybe weird, can come from a good place too.
I'm a SAHM and I have a college degree, (I graduated with no debt due to picking an affordable school, my academic performance, working all through college, saving all of my birthday and Christmas money my whole life, and some help from my dad the last year of my education about $500 a month) absolutely being a wife and mother is more fulfilling to me than anything else in my life that I have done. If I hadn't gone to college I would not have met my husband. That said, college graduation is NOT the place to bring this up. Young women still deserve to be congratulated for earning a degree just as much as young men do. Having a career or being a homemaker is a personal choice and should be respected as such.
Thank you. People don't think about the fact that a homemaker is in fact a career. And for many ladies, it's a thankless job. I celebrate choices for women. I do think more men need to understand the value of women's labor at home. All the things a woman provides would be really expensive all combined if she was paid. She'd make bank.
My mother, a Catholic. Had 6 kids. Stayed home to raise. In her 40s as we got older, she went to university and eventually ended up with a associate professor. Late 70s still involved in research. I have done similar. Kids. Now career. I believe kids are best served with mum at home as primary carer, not in daycare. I did work one or two days a week while they were young. Eventually build a small business when they are in their teens. You can do both, but not always best to do both at the same time. 🤷🏻♀️
I hate it when someone talks and generalizes with things like "being a mother/father is the best thing you'll ever do", "you'll only feel complete if you start a family", etc. Not everyone has the same goals in life.
What exactly is life for then .. if you don’t want a family or to at least help others what makes life meaningful .. not much .. things are just things and family is forever
And not all women can have kids! I can't. And I am so goddamned sick of people basically saying my life doesn't matter since I can't have kids, which is what many people say that is all women are good for. I matter. My life matters. I xan still do great thigns. I DO do great things. And to even insinuate women like me are less than is so cruel, and downright evil.
I had a coworker send me a People news article about this speech and she was talking about she was so offended by it... I didn't take it that way at all. He's just simply saying... we shouldn't poo-poo on women who CHOSE to be wives and mommies.
Agreed. People are taking his speech the wrong way. He said the lie women have been sold is that the most happiness comes from a degree and promotions. Sure, a woman, like men, can have a career but the majority of women will derive their happiness from having a family. Women should be proud of their achievements, but maybe not salivate over a career where in the end, for most, means nothing. It has led many down and unsatisfied and depressing life. I chose a life with no family. When I die, there might be 3-5 people from work attending my funeral thinking who's going to replace this guy?
All I’m asking who poo poo on women who chose not to have a career? To begin with. I chose to have a career be a wife and have a child and no one told me that the opposite is bad. I was raised by a stay at home mother and all she encouraged me to do is to never ever depend on no man. Even my father used to tell me the same thing. We cannot watch this and say it is not offensive to the ladies who were sitting in front of him. I myself have worked tirelessly to earn all of my degrees and it’s fulfilling to have a career and a husband and a son at the same time. My son is not a criminal nor a drug addict. This things that people say in this times does not work. Just imagine all of us saying at home with the children and if you have 4 or 5 with one salary what quality of life can you provide as a husband to your wife with a median salary. To top it off, men are not even stepping up and tend to gravitate to women with careers. All that to say that I never heard someone talk down to women who choose to be home makers more power to them because I must certainly cannot do it.
Its stuff like this ,that make women hate the trad wife movement. If there was more wonderful why not but the reality is if you don't set up your future your gonna be miserable. Look how much trad wives are complaining?
My husband’s mother was a career woman and the thing that hurt him the most was the neglect that he felt. His dad hardly tried to raise him well and that led to behavioral issues that eventually led to bullying. My husband now sees the importance of a mother in the life of their child, especially when they are young. So now I have the blessing of being a full time mom. There’s a trade-off to everything and typically it’s the kids that deal with the consequences.
I’m 21 yrs old and just graduated with my bachelors degree and will start a full time corporate job next month. I’m incredibly grateful and excited for it however I truly do see it as a way to support myself financially until I meet the man I’m going to marry. I absolutely want a family but until then, I’ll join the workforce!
There are actually a good amount of women who go to Benedictine College for theology degrees that eventually become Sisters (nuns) as their vocation - also referred to being a mother to the community where their order is based.
This speech was inappropriate & disrespectful for a graduation. My mom is a SAHM & suffered bc of it. She told me to get a career so I wouldn't end up like her. That wasn't a lie, it's life advice I needed to hear.
@@luzvargas76 Nobody was talking about religion. Weird how Christians always have to bring it up, it's as if they have to constantly reaffirm their faith to feel worthy.
Each to their own. Life is full of wonders and many different choices. Choose the path best suited for you and enjoy. This guy is giving one choice as part of a speech and can be ignored by those who especially don't subscribe to his worldview
The thing that bugs me too is he talks about his wife’s vocation not just as her path but her embracing the path of women. Bc some women their vocation may be stay at home mom. But you can’t say men can have any vocation in the world but women are all so similar they only get one vocation to choose from
First of all, he didn’t say women couldn’t work. Second of all, Catholics believe women are meant to be homemakers while men are supposed to be leaders and providers. That’s what he was speaking to.
The term *vocation* has a specific meaning in Catholicism. It does not mean career. In Catholicism, there are only three vocations: the married life, the consecrated life, and the priesthood. Women can participate in the first two, men in all three. So women have two vocations to choose from: wife/mother or nun. Men have three to choose from: husband/father, monk or priest. Women can have any career they want, but the only vocations they can have are the married life or the consecrated life. When you say "men can have any vocation in the world," you make it clear that you don't speak Catholic and don't understand what he's saying. Literally the only vocation men can pursue that women can't is being a priest in the Catholic Church. Again, vocation does *not* mean career or job in this context. He also never said that women have to be stay at home moms. He said women's vocation is to be wives and mothers. You can be a wife and mother and still have a job, just as you can be a husband and father and still have a job.
No. I’m not like that at all, but imagine working hard for years and graduating just for some football dude to show up and tell you that you should be a housewife. Just say you’re s3x!st, it’s faster.
А у него есть жена? Он это говорил своей жене? Нет, он сказал это девушкам на выпускном, которые четыре, блять, года пахали ради этого диплома, чтобы в будущем работать. Он не имел права вставлять эту сексистскую поебень в свою речь
@@joyfulchristina It wasn't an appropriate time or place and was all one sided. He could have balanced it out with encouraging the male students to pursue marriage and Fatherhood. But nope. The focus is ALWAYS on women. And given the historical oppression of women up until recently - this is a very sore subject.
I think that if I heard this when I was younger I would’ve taken it the wrong way. Now that I’m older I agree with him and his point simply is that the role of a mother is like no other. It is the most important role in society and we need to go back to having a family unit and raising kids with morals and values. The world would be a much better place. All this trans are being extremely dramatic about something they will never understand.
No, you’re just horribly and disgustingly misogynistic. Why don’t you apply the same logic to men? Those women worked hard for years in order to graduate, and they had to sit there and listen to this man with an IQ that’s likely in the double digits preach to them about how they should be a housewife.
I watched it. I liked it even less since he put so much emphasis on finding ones vocation, then gracioyspy talking like staying home was the only vocation for women. I love what he said about his wife, but I think this was the wrong time and place to have staying home as the vocation of women lols
@@horselover40 He did not ever say that being a stay at home mother is only vocation for women. The term *vocation* has a very specific meaning to Catholics. For men, the primary vocation is husband and father, for women its wife and mother. The only other vocations are the consecrated life (monks and nuns) and the priesthood (men only). When he says these women's vocation is to be wives and mothers, what he means is that they aren't planning to become nuns, not that they aren't planning to have careers. Career and vocation are not the same thing in Catholicism.
I'm a moderate Christian & honestly his mindset is harmful. Not all women are meant to be married or have kids. A woman's purpose in life isn't just being a homemaker, it's much more than that. This was supposed to celebrate their hard work, not basically telling the women their hard work doesn't matter that much because they should just be a wife/mom.
A job is just a job though but god didn’t just make women for families they all have different skill sets . That said having someone else raise your kids so you can work a job isn’t really having a family .. so many people call themselves full time parents and full time workers and you cannot be both .
A moderate Christian? If you’re just moderate then you aren’t fully committed to the faith therefore you are not a Christian. One of the core principles in Christianity is to be fruitful and multiply. I’m not even a Christian, but that’s just how it is. To your second point (telling women their hard work doesn’t matter) I agree. There’s nothing wrong with being excited about getting promotions and having enough money to provide for yourself. That was extremely inconsiderate of him to say to all the women who’ve spent years studying their craft at that college. The Bible never says a woman cannot work outside the home, just says she should prioritize caring for children and the home.
Look at the audience- he is speaking to the audience and their view points. I’m Catholic and in college I would’ve felt offended, but now I am older and wiser, there is soooooo much truth behind what he said. Sometimes the truth hurts.
@@Marmartedno it's not. Thay was given to Adam and eve. They sinned therefore that's not our relationship to multiple. God in the Bible values people who are single. You clearly don't read the Bible
He did speak to the men too, though. He just didn’t exclude the women. Would you have preferred if he had? Amala should have listened to the entire speech instead of going for the easy clickbait clips tbh.
I think this Bumble campaign was trying to address the frustration with dating these days that has women saying they would rather be alone than bother trying to date anymore. They just did it so badly.
I truly hope that women see my comment. I was raised under fundamentalist christianity. College was forbidden. I am an excellent homemaker and I successfully homeschooled my children. After my Christian husbands alcoholism and abuse got so bad that no therapy worked and my children were being traumatized, I had to leave. I had no money for an attorney and I was too afraid that if I asked for child support and alimony that my husband, who had money and family support, would try and take my children away from me so I never asked for or received any alimony or child support. I am now 59, without a degree, and really truly struggling financially. Being a stay at home mother and homemaker means that I put very little money into social security. I truly regret not having a degree or a career or profession. My future looks bleak. What about this scenario? What about women who end up widowed and there was no life insurance policy? What about the many families who struggle to get by financially even though both parents work full-time? Attacking "feminism" is not the answer to these very real dilemmas. I would have loved nothing more than being able to stay home and be the homemaker that I was raised to be, but life has many challenges. This man's speech was full of so many assumptions. Only the professional class who make an upper middle-class income can afford to have stay at home mothers. And if tragedy or abuse should happen, the women and children will pay the price.
I’m so sorry for your experience. He did not tell the women to not get work. He congratulated them on their degrees. He was there to talk to these Catholic women to tell them about the wonderful vocation that is being a wife and a mother. I have a degree but didn’t want or have a real career. When I married at 31, I didn’t work but my husband made very little money and we struggled deliberately so I could stay home. These women do have a degree so frankly if something bad happens they’ll be able to get a job if they hard workers unlike so many young adults these days. We didn’t even hear his whole speech; I’d love to. Again, I’m really sorry what happened to you personally.
And how do we know this is not a lie? And how do we know that the habit of the alcohol was formed due to him trying to get away from your emotionally abusive ass.
Yeah, that wasn't really a great idea for a speech. Not the time or place. NOT ALL WOMEN CAN HAVE KIDS. I can't have kids, and I am SICK TO DEATH of people basically saying my life doesn't matter, because a woman's sole purpose is to procreate. Women can do so many wonderful, productive things. If a woman WANTS to be a stay at home mother, that is fantastic. But that is NOT the only thing women are good for. His speech was isolating, and honestly cruel.
If you can't have or don't want kids, then the speech wasn't for you. He was validating women who would chose that path. Those who would find joy and fulfillment in child rearing and home making.
And this is not disrespectful to women. Catholics consider motherhood sacred (ie. Mary--she holds a specific and incredible role to Catholics and is has very little to do with this life; that's faith guys).
Being a wife and a mother is not bad. Being the only aspirational path for women is, and being 2024 and still having discussions about what women should do (Whatever the fuck we want is the answer, we are adults, we can figure it out ourselves, thank you very much).
I don’t care what your career is the moment you become a parent that’s the most important job you will ever have. I have a nursing degree that was very important at one time but once I became a mom that’s what I wanted to spend my time doing and I’m fortunate I don’t have to go back to nursing if I don’t want to.
"I don’t care what your career is the moment you become a parent that’s the most important job you will ever have." Except people don't say this to men, only women. That's why it's wrong.
@@user-lj5wy9hz2y If a man wants a traditional wife and family then he becomes the provider. In that sense, he is a good husband and a good parent. That was always the man's role in the past and in many cases still is. It is women that have moved away from their traditional roles and pushed into the workforce.
@@user-lj5wy9hz2y I said parent. We also have to accept we play different roles because nature built us that way. My daughters dad isn’t meant to have the same exact job or responsibilities that I do he works and that’s not a role I want. That man stood up there and talked about how wonderful and amazing his wife was and people are offended on her behalf and that’s just stupid. If she’s happy with her life and his speech it’s nobody else’s business really.
@user-lj5wy9hz2y yes, they do. But you're also ignoring human nature where women are the primary nurturers & the father's provide for the family. So even if what you're saying is true, it's very rooted in necessity.
@@aprilbowling6707 That man lectured women and directed it at women, which is why it rubbed people the wrong way. He could have spoken about his wife, and leave it as that.
He’s a twat for doing it at a graduation with many women who worked their butts off for years - wasn’t about him or his wife. Unbelievable disrespect. I bet he has an IQ and the double digits.
It's like telling male graduates that their degree is useless and that they should of chosen a trade instead. Just not appropriate. Would have made a great Mother's Day speech however.
Thank you for reminding me of my mother’s sacrifice of a fulfilling nursing career to be at home with me and my five siblings. I would never have accomplished my goals without her sacrifice and my siblings would say the same. It’s not the same for everyone but follow your own heart and not anyone opinion.
The problem is most people didn’t listen to next part of the speech. The next part of is is calling men to become good fathers and husbands. He also said in that speech that his wife worked outside home and feels like her true job started when she became a mother and homemaker
People forget history so fast. Here is the reality that women need to face. Sure be a homemaker, get married and have kids, be a stay at home wife. Well what if your husband ends up being a complete douchebag who treats you like crap? Do you stay and put up with it? Let's say you are 35, have 4 kids and never had a job outside of the home. Your husband suddenly dies with only 25 thousand in life insurance. Well that's enough to pay for his funeral. Now you are a 35 year old single mother who has no job experience and no degree and you have to figure out how to take care of your kids when no one will hire you. This is the question that my Dad asked me when he told me that the only person you can actually rely on to take care of you is YOU. If you place all of your faith in a man you will find yourself in a bad position. Women and men should both work and pay bills, They shoudl both take care of the house and the kids. It is the best way to not get into a bad situation.
“What if” is not a good place to lay a foundation. One foot out the door. Be prepared, absolutely. Prepare by choosing a good spouse, setting yourself up for a career if need be, but don’t live in fear.
You had a bad father. He ripped you out of your birthright as a woman. That is, to be a mother who is 100% present for her children. You bought the lie of efinism, which teaches women to hate themselves, children, all men and all other women equally. That sucks.
The speech was to let women know that the world is wrong when they say being a homemaker is bad. You can do it and be very happy. He did not degrade the women you got the degree.
He implied women pursuing a career was a "diabolical lie". Women should be able to choose what they want to do, whether if it's being a career women, mom, or both
Telling them to stay at home because that's what we're designed to do... yeah that's not insulting women who earned degrees to specialize and work at all... smh.
@@sirekakhemai3254Feminine is amazing. Love and compassion by bringing others along. However feminism is a hateful ideology by women to hurt women. For example, feminist women criticize women who put their family first. Pure self hate.
But why single out women? It's 2024, and men can be homemakers. A lot of women (myself including) are the breadwinner. NTM, even if homemaker was their goal its nearly impossible in the economy. I 100% guarantee this wouldn't be an issue if he said men and women.
I think he is probably just a bit simpleminded, and seems to think that that which, SO FAR, has worked out for his wife, MUST necessarily also be the best for most.
He never said that the career is something wrong. He said the most important thing for people who have a vocation to get marry is children and family. Non-catholics cannot understand his speech, but we Catholics really do. We are called to different vocations and we believe that by leaving the vocation to which God has called us we will be happy in this world and in the next. It is horrible to have a mother and father and to be raised by strangers. That is why this society is broken. Americans are raised by strangers because their parents prefer money than to love their children.
I was a homemaker and loved it I was able to do a lot of volunteering in the community. I have a daughter who wishes she could stay home with her daughters and homeschool but with the economy the way it is there is no way for her to do it. I feel sorry for women who want to but are unable.
I think the crowd can speak for just how offended they where by his speech. If you listen, you don’t hear booing. I don’t hear angry mobs with pitchforks. A great deal of what we are dealing with in society today its because many come from broken homes. Many people come from homes that have screwed up priorities. And what their focus should truly be on, and the things in life that have actual real value. My perspective is, when everything is said and done and you have passed away from this world it is not gonna matter the amount of money that you have. It is not going to matter where you lived; what car you drove. What clothes you wore etc. cause when you’re dead it’s all gone. But if you’ve had children there is your true wealth and you will not pass away from this world where no one will remember you. You will not pass away from this world with no one showing up to your funeral. Why focus on things in life that you cannot take with you when you die.
Also as someone else commented, this speech was at a religious Catholic school. He didn't say anything that the graduates attending didn't already believe in. People are getting mad at a speech that wasn't even meant for them.
marriage is a partnership. 50/50. neither is more or less important than the other. I depend on her and she depends on me. it doesn't always work out that way for everyone, but that's the goal and we have been committed to it for 31 years and counting. It's not complicated or controversial what he said. And I think he was VERY articulate about it.
I don’t think it’s appropriate to tell a bunch of young women who have just spent thousands of dollars on an education so they can start a career. “Hey your vocation is to be a wife and mother, a career is a lie and if you don’t start popping out babies you will be miserable.”
Instead of leaving a negative comment, I'm going to run it back and just wish all woman well with whatever choices they may make in their life, I hope you are happy and proud of yourself and the life you are living. My best wishes to woman.
This is literally all we want from men: to see us as human beings with our own mind, choices, dreams, ideals etc.
💯💯💯💯💯💯 correct.
@@roaroa5291I agree we are not all the same we have different paths don't mean we were fed a lie
Thank you I appreciate that❤
thank you ❤
No, there is nothing wrong with choosing to be a homemaker. It's just tone deaf and strange for 1) a man to speak at this graduation addressing women, 2) make it about himself and his wife's experience, 3) only focus on how it went well for them. This dynamic (homemaker, 1 bread winner of the household) does not always work out or is ideal for every family. This is not a space to focus on YOURSELF- it's time to celebrate the students who worked their tail off for something THEY chose.
You do realize the speech was 20 minutes long, right? He addressed both men and women and talked about a lot of Catholic values and struggles in general (at a Catholic college!). You and most people are getting upset over a few seconds for no reason, talking like the man went up there, preached at women and left.
Editing to say as well that you have no idea what the students chose. One can take a degree for multiple reasons, and at a Catholic college it’s very likely that the women there do want to be homemakers more than climbing the corporate ladder.
@@popuri48 but those few seconds he did was really undermining the very hard work of those graduating women. That’s the issue. It’s like after working for so hard on something, then your boss tell you that it’s worthless and you’re not getting paid. Not something you should say on a Commencement Speech. Clearly those women going to College in hope to become more than just homemaker.
8:46 Imagine being a dedicated mother, who also mainted a career and the son, *that YOU raised and you PAID college fees for* is *sh*ting on you like that. 😅 (Another point to not get married and have babies, my god.)
@@joshualukas2666 No, you’re wrong. It’s a Catholic college. It’s very likely that those women do want to be wives and mothers the most. Also, not everyone goes to college for the same reasons. I have a bachelor’s in law and I’m almost done with my master’s and I have no interest in climbing the corporate ladder, for example. You literally have no idea why those women chose to go to college. Finally, what do you mean be “more” than “just” a homemaker? See the issue? Everyone talks as if homemakers are less than. That’s why Butker highlighted homemaking. To say it’s okay to be a wife and mother, it’s okay to dream of that even if everyone else in the world acts like that’s not enough and that you should have a career instead.
@@magdalenas.4 He did not bash working women, lol.
I love my kids and I’m a career woman! I will always keep my career because men change and you will be stuck and bitter with nothing. God gave me a purpose to be a mom as well as having a career.
Only stuck if you take the kids from him
@@mickeysteppewho is saying she will take kids from him! Lol
My mom was a homemaker to her 4 kids, then 26 years later, guess who left her to marry the girlfriend.
Kicked my mom to the kerb, she had to go to college as a 50year old to be able to get skills to be able to get a job. She became a bookkeeper.
She is a rockstar.
I am super proud of her. 74 years old now and still working. She said she loves it and will work until the day she dies.
But that’s the risk when you choose to become a homemaker. You loose your marketability.
I chose both. A career and a family. It’s tough, I don’t have a homeaid. I still have to cook everyday, clean over weekends, wash and iron the cloths.
It’s possible, you just have to settle for a less than perfect house.
What I don’t get is. Why are people so hung up on what woman decide to do? Especially men. We all different. Stop telling us what is best for us. Everyone’s circumstances are different.
you ate that up🔥🔥
also happy mother’s day!! little late but still!!
So true!! This is why I keep my career. Unfortunately, homemakers can’t leave bc they don’t have a career so they are stuck if the man treats them wrong.
Your mom is a SUPER HERO!!! She obviously has incredible life skills, she grew and raised a SUPER HERO in you. I love the admiration and respect you have for your Mom🥰
Wanted to say your mom its a total Rockstar!!! Yes its hard, difficult etc. But women should have a career. You truly never know.
I think that the "lie" he is referring to is that a career in the workplace will be completely satisfying.
For some women it will be, for others it will not. I know women who wish that they had gotten married and raised a family instead of pulling their career.
But I also know women who wanted more than just being a homemaker.
I also know women who have made both work in their lives.
It is just up to the individual.
There's no lie. He's speaking to graduates in college it makes no sense.
Fair and this is actually the catholic way 😂 people are twisting it
And being a sahm isn’t fulfilling for the vast majority of women. It’s a miserable life that puts you in a vulnerable position economically.
Totally agree. I just wanted to be a mother and wife and I was lucky enough (with sacrifice) to be able to stay at home. My daughters however probably won't get that chance and may not want that either.
It’s the same for men tho. People just don’t treat them like children who cannot make their own decisions. You’re not telling me all of the absent fathers who worked 24/7 and never saw their children were completely fulfilled and never regretted it. It’s up to the individual and the only lie being told is that there is such a thing as one size fits all
The key is that it’s a choice. A personal choice. Women used to not be admitted into colleges, or promoted professionally. Because of brave women in the past we now have options besides marriage to survive.
Brave! More like cryin harpies. Giving them even a single inch was a mistake.
It's not because of "brave women". It's just a feminist lie, as usual. It's because certain lobbies saw it convenient to brainwash women into believing they wanted something they didn't actualy want. Part of the agreement was that feminism would support this decision and take credit for it.
While I agree with you mostly, I think the destruction of family and moral values paired with extreme feminism have taken it to such an extreme that it is now very difficult to be a stay at home mother for many women who want to be.
And conservative males are actively complaining about us having and choosing those options.
Sure and he isn’t taking that choice away.
I still don’t understand why women have to choose between family and career when men automatically get both
Sexism. It’s revolting.
Because men throw a hissy fit when they see a successful woman, they wanna keep us small and submissive so they can use us as sex slaves and not have any competition from us in the work field
_"automatically get both"_ ... NO hell we don't!!! We still need women for a family!!
Have ever seen a corporate goon lawyer raising a baby on his own?? 😂😂😂
@@alejandropacheco7832the point is that they don’t have to choose.
In what world does our society applaud men who are workaholics? It's a very common thing to have Dad's s*** on for being workaholics and for not being involved in their kids lives.
Unfortunately so many men use and abuse women while they are homemakers. How many of us have dads that never appreciated our mothers ? Unfortunately not every man deserves a beautiful woman who will sacrifice her career dreams to raise him and his children.
This!
Yess this. My dad use my mom.
It goes both ways. My mother was the abusive one, unfortunately. Not every woman deserves a good man.
@@hopeleftme9680 I agree, we as humans need to put more effort into really knowing people.
We're talking now about women who gotta stay home, stop making everything about men again!
I'm homemaker, and I would love to go to work instead of raising my child by myself (with husband home)and raising husband(15 years older than me)!
5 years long I serving husband, my daughter, been serving my husband's dad together even when I was pregnant.
I wish I had good aducation and job instead of it. Do everything almost 24/7, no vacation, no rest, lika a slave, and all I hear "what do you do here? NOTHING" "YOU'RE LAZY"," I'm making money" "YOU'RE doing nothing".
If compare abusive men /abusive women, it will be 80/20%.
This is exacly why women fought for their rites! Before that they were submissive, taking care of themselves, kids, husband, and they only had cheating, disrespect and abuse in return!
I'm happy for single working women who do not depend on men today, and don't have to ask permission for every $1 spend like I do!
@@hopeleftme9680
More women might chose to be homemakers if they were valued by their husbands as much as he values his wife. Most wives don’t get any recognition or show of appreciation for staying at home and taking care of all that needs to be done. I hear my friends all the time complain that their husbands make comments that they get to sit around all day and do nothing. We as a society have devalued the job of homemaker so it makes sense to me why women would choose to do work outside the home that makes them feel valued.
Have to be a woman worth valuing.
Yesss
@@Dreamtaker509 So what makes a woman valuable?
@s.f.575 Not her looks. Looks are great and all but her character is the most important. Being someone who would be a good, kind, loving partner. Someone who has the potential or ability of being a good mother. Not being selfish (supporting her partner as much as he supports her). Most women you see now adays have big ego's, no loyalty, not emotionally intelligent (Knowing what to do about how you feel vs acting on how you feel. Self control.) Having accountability. It is not difficult being a good person man or women. Be realistic. Just because they look good doesn't make them valuable. Being "too much to handle" is not a flex. No one should have to "handle" any one. Just be a pleasant, loyal person.
Absolutely
I am 42 and a homemaker, I have been married to my incredible husband for 20 years. I left my job when we got married and did not finish college. He is now battling cancer, and has had his bladder and a kidney removed. Fortunately we have saved, life insurance, and other things setup just Incase. If we hadn’t planned and prepared for the worst when we married I would be incredibly worried right now as I do not have a college degree or career history. Being a homemaker is absolutely wonderful and I am so incredibly blessed BUT you need to have a contingency plan.
The right man like your husband plans accordingly after he has left.
You are so right. I hope everything works out for you. 🙏
I’m so sorry about your husband’s health problems. I totally agree with having a contingency plan. Raising my kids was my priority, and then my marriage failed. It was very hard financially for a while, but my kids now have successful careers and I have a job that I love.
God bless you and your family
I was a homemaker from 20 - 29 when my husband died suddenly when I was seven months pregnant and just a few days past my 29th birthday. Six years later I'm almost finished a university degree and life has been very tough. He did not have life insurance and we did not yet have a contingency plan in place, he was barely 32 when he died. If I had a do over I would arrange things differently.
This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
I am sorry about what you have been through. I have been through something similar and was almost depressed, till I contacted a spiritual counsellor who helped me get my ex back and hence my life back
Interesting. Who is this counsellor, and how do I meet the person?
Online, you'll find shelly renee white, revered for her expertise as a spiritual counsellor. She has the ability to reunite couples and promote holistic well-being
Thanks a lot. I just did. Impressive.
I’m a stay at home mum- I had 17 years of working and then settled. Here’s the thing- I’m not very good at being a homemaker. When I did my absolute best there was 0 appreciation from the other half. I now slack in all my responsibilities because I hate feeling like my husbands mum. A husband is literally another child that needs taking care of. I don’t get it. I was happy to be a stay at home mum if my job was just to look after the kids but household chores still should be shared in some way- even if the wife does the bulk of it. I also had 3 years of PND after my daughter was born and got 0 help on overcoming that. It’s made me bitter and resentful. I had a great job and I miss my old life now. I love my kids and I see the benefit of being at home but it’s not as wonderful as he makes it out to be.
That said he loves his wife and there is obviously a lot of appreciation there. I can see why the wife is happy in her role if she’s getting the proper attention she deserves.
Part time work is sometimes a good option for a lot of women. Gets you mingling with others, a change of pace, and balance.
I have a degree, and I'm a stay at home mom. It was not planned to be that way, I was supposed to go back to work, but let me tell you... the overwhelming urge to stay home was so intense. My husband was on my side, and I am so glad for it. My children are raised by their parents and not daycare.
And one should never be made to feel they have to apologize for that. Kudos to you….and your husband.
@@scray00 Aw! Thank you.
Good for you. There’s nothing wrong with that, but don’t be throwing shade at people who do take their kids to a daycare…
@@scray00 Those that choose to do that shouldn't get shade, and those that choose not to do that shouldn't get shade.
@@Absurdity101 She didn't "throw shade" at anybody. It's just an objective truth that children being parented by their parents is better than children being parented by their teachers.
If that's what *you* did, there's nothing wrong with that. Some people simply don't have the time, and that's their misfortune.
My mother was a homemaker and I wish my dad was as thankful with words as this man is. The title Homemaker needs much more love than it gets. I am very thankful of my mother deciding to be a homemaker over staying at teaching. I will always be thankful for that.
This, right here, is the thing. This is why women view the idea of being a SAHM as an insult. I remember being a kid and watching what my mom did, and how everyone just went around and screwed all her work back up two minutes later, and was like, "Naaaah.". I'm sure I'm not the only person who's had that feeling.
Much older and wiser, of course I understand that kids are messy. But my parents both worked the same 12 hour shifts and my mom did that along with cooking, cleaning, organizing stuff, going to school meetings, driving people places, etc.
It's not that my dad never did ANY of this, but my mom viewed it as her default responsibility.
I think one of the reasons people shy away from being a homemaker
I think positive affirmations can go a long way to both parties in a relationship. Homemakers do quite alot,much more than their other side might think. I felt like he wanted to recognize his wife somehow for her part in his life. Imagine anyone saying this to their other half that raises the kids. I think feeling appreciated really is very important. Communication is really hard for alot of people and being able to realize what they are thankful for.
I’ve seen first hand the difference in my children compared to myself. My mom stayed home and unfortunately for very good reasons I had to get a divorce. I was lucky I had a job that I was able to work a lot of hours and continue to keep my kids in the house they were in and the schools they were in thinking that was the most important thing I could do, but it came at a cost that I would not see until now that they are in their twenties. My oldest thinks I fluffed my mom responsibility onto her when I would have to work late(when she was around 15 there were sitters before that). My youngest and I have had several conversations about “doing it all alone”. Her boyfriend makes way more than she does and he likes to help her out but she’s adamant to not take any help. She’ll say mom you did it all those years with no one. I’ve had to explain that I would’ve loved to have a man who loved me and wanted to help me financially and emotionally and that I would’ve given anything for that to have been my life. And I think my words are softening her a little bit more every time. In a way I was lucky I was more like my dad so I had the strength to do it alone but my kids payed the price for my originally poor choice of a man. So yeah I applaud all the moms out there in good strong relationships even if they do work a little. The two parent nuclear family is under attack because the government has less control over the minds of those in a strong family especially if you throw God in there as this man has done.
@@Kathleen-vl5wsindeed, it is a thankless job. However, with society wanting to get back to mothers staying home, I’m noticing younger generations really holding it to a higher regard, as it should!
I come from a catholic country in which MANY women from my mother's generation were home-makers.... let me tell you one thing: NO. You would need an outstanding integral honest straight laced man to do that, and the reality is, most are not. Not catholic men, not mormon men, not muslim men. I've seen some horror stories from financially trapped home-makers and mothers. I swore to myself I'd never and I didn't.
This is the reality of ours lives. Women who don't know that will find out later when they're already trapped. Or there's a small chance that they'll be happy with a man like Harrison Butker. 🙄
I don’t think you can make a claim that most men or woman are anything based on your small pie of life and relationships. Especially a country that is inherently catholic. That’s like a breeding ground for people who want to differentiate themselves or find loopholes when their lives apparently have already been chosen since they were born,
You can't have it all at the same time. You just can't. Find what works for you. Everyone is different. I know career women who love it, and i know stay at home moms who love that too. Sometimes you can work different shifts or get grandparent help. Every home is different. 😊
💯🎯
Dear Amala I can only speak for myself but as a stay at home mum who had four kids , it’s one of the hardest jobs in the world to carry out properly but I can honestly say it was worth every minute of hard graft and when anyone asked me what I did I told them I was a Domestic Technician 😂 it’s not for everyone I know but when I look at my four adult kids now, all Graduates with good jobs , I smile and think, job well done mama.
I love the Domestic Technician Job Title! Also, congrats on not 1 but FOUR GRADUATES!!!
I'm a woman and I got my bachelor's degree in IT science two years ago. and let me tell you, if someone gave a speech like that at my graduation, i've started a riot. I spent 4 years stadying day and night, working two jobs to feed myself and afford university, I put all my whole life on pause for the sake of my education, just to hear at graduation "my wife started to live when she became a mother". there's always time and place, and this was definitely not the time and not the place. it all souded more like his wedding anniversary speech. his words were touching, but i'm also not comfortable with putting words into his wife's mouth. it he wanted to promote motherhood then he could've asked his wife to give a speech.
graduation speech is meant to congratulate and give some career advice, gradyation from college is a huge achievement. but instead he gave a sappy speech about how much his wife loves being a mom and how much he loves her. well, that's sweet but completely not related to the theme of the event and in this particular case insensitive to the point of bordering on offensive.
@@gracehol17I have one kid going to college for a law degree if I hear this at my graduation I'd start throwing things at him not all woman want that type of life I can't stay at home all day I'd get angry and board. I have a dream to fix the system portect the kids just because I have a family doesn't mean I can't have dreams if a man can work at his career so can I
Well done. And thank you for all ur children. WE all benefit as a society ❤❤
@@gracehol17The world in general can be a place where your beliefs are not respected. At this graduation his Catholic audience at a Catholic school was perfect. The clip we all saw here is a very short clip of his 20 minute speech. He is an outstanding Catholic man. Speaking as a Catholic woman raised in the 60s and 70s, I wish we had had a speaker like him.
Here is his entire speech. You can watch it or not watch it; but if you do, remember he is not there to speak to you. He is not there to speak to the world. He is there to speak to graduating Catholics. This audience gave him enthusiastic applause. He received a cheering standing ovation.
czcams.com/video/-JS7RIKSaCc/video.htmlsi=oIPEXJFBwijWQp2u
All the best to you and God Bless. 🙏
Look, as a homemaker with a college degree, it is not a waste of time to become articulate and educated before becoming a wife and mother. It’s surprising how much the ability to think critically and understand studies, arguments, etc, is essential for guiding a family through the mess of our present times. I think it was a good reminder that motherhood and homemaking are vital to the fabric of society, which is why everything is falling apart right now. Sometimes people need to hear something but may not want to hear it.
It has been 100 years or more since college was for the elite and accordingly cultivated "the ability to think critically and understand studies, arguments, etc." With the 1930s mainstreaming of high school and then the 1960s mainstreaming of college, that cultivation went out the window.
You’re absolutely right. I am a former attorney and law professor turned stay at home mom, and my education is far more vital to educating my kids then it ever could be to the working world. I’m doing something far more critical-taking care of and forming MY kids into adulthood. That is not anyone else’s job, and no job could be more important for my own family legacy. If we don’t all regain a sense of personal investment and focus on our own families, it all does fall apart.
The only thing that is more today is divorce which yes God hates but the world is a safer more abundant place today and women are living their own dreams and that's okay the Bible says a wife of noble character will work in the market and buy her own fields this is not all you have to be is a homemaker you are and your children will be okay if you work outside of the home God even says that
So it's woman's fault everything is breaking down, what ever that means. No it does not. Women have always worked, whether it was because they were poor, single mom's, or even because they live on a farm, and it is hard physical work too. He and you are very judgmental.
@@oasean So highschool and college should have remained only for the elite? Should women also not be educated? Your post reads as if you don't believe there should be public education. Where do you live, in Afghanistan?
Not all women are cut out to be mothers.
Or maids/gal Fridays, doing every task for a man, gratis.
He could've just thanked his wife for her dedication and sacrifice as he's achieving accomplishment. It was tone deaf and weird to speak on ALL women.
Like women get left broke with children all the time. Or abused, cheated on, etc. Let's stop selling marriage and having kids as safe and fulfilling for ALL women.
It's a lot safer and more fulfilling than the alternative of living and dying alone.
@@wolfofthewest8019 Better die alone than suffer my whole life with a man
@@zhongliimpact6220 Who hurt you?
@@wolfofthewest8019 use your 2 brain cells
and have a guess
@@zhongliimpact6220 It certainly wasn't all men. If some man hurt you, be angry at him. Stop using it as an excuse to be angry at all men.
Actually, don't be angry at him. He's almost certainly not worth. Try to find some peace in your heart. Hate isn't healthy.
I am a Catholic wife and retired Catholic school principal. I didn’t meet my husband until well after I graduated from college, and I did indeed have a life before that. I think that the vocation of mom is a beautiful one, and matrimony is indeed a sacrament, but one can be a Catholic woman who is not called to be a SAHM. Odd graduation speech.
Good comment. That's how I felt about it. I wasn't offended, it was just weird and out of place for the occasion. The sentiment would have been more appropriate as a speech at his wife's birthday or some occasion honoring mother's and homemakers.
Why is he even bringing this up at a graduation speech? Be grateful for your family who supported you, your university, encourage your peers and move on. Nobody wants to listen to modern politics at a graduation speech.
@@deepakmenon6720 I’m sorry but then you’d rather he gave a hollow speech full of platitudes that anyone could’ve written? I actually think this is more valuable. Besides, if you actually listen to the entire speech… he was actually for the most part referring directly to Catholic ideals, including criticizing a lot of what the Church has done recently. Which makes sense at a Catholic college where students may be feeling disappointed. People are not taking the time to listen to the actual speech but they sure have plenty of opinions. It’s a great speech, imo. And tbh, if you’re not Catholic, it’s not even for you to begin with. Apparently he got a standing ovation 🤷♀️
This. Being a single working Catholic woman, this isn't what I would want to hear at my graduation, even if I technically agree with everything he said. Idk, maybe the rest of his speech was better.
@popuri48 explain how it is a hollow speech full of platitudes to say you're grateful for your family to support you through college. Are you dense? And if you can read you'll see how even catholic people don't necessarily agree with his idiotic speech.
The minimum salary for an NFL player in 2024 is $795,000 for rookies, up from $750,000 in 2023. This salary increases based on experience, with players earning $915,000 for one year, $985,000 for two years, $1.055 million for three years, and $1.210 million for seven years or more. It is much easier for his wife to decide to stay at home and raise his kids than it is for the majority of society.
The problem is that the majority of society loves to live beyond their means. For example, traveling has now become a mandatory thing to date most women.
100% I would honestly love to he a homemaker(can't have kids, so SAHM isn't feasible). But we can't afford it. And we live EXTREMELY reasonably, not outside pur means in the least. Hiw whole speech was SO tone-deaf
SAHM here and it is more expensive to pay for childcare. If I decided to go back to work, my entire salary would’ve gone to Daycare. So, why pay for someone else to raise my children. Living on one income is difficult, but it can be done. Too many families are living beyond their means. Living on one income can be done and you can be successful at it.
Untrue. Most people can’t afford to do it because they all want too much. My husband was making about $20,000 a year when we got married and as soon as our first child was born I stopped working. I had some part time jobs as our children got older and in school, but even that wasn’t until the younger one was 10. We didn’t have two new cars, we had two old used cars. We bought an old house that small but liveable. We spent years trying to fix it up and never did finish. You don’t all have to have a ton of expensive clothes, jewelry and electronics. Buy what you can actually afford with the one salary you have and it is something anyone can do if they REALLY want to.
@@lizthedisjointedzebra692 look into the Dave Ramsey method. I know so many families that use this and live debt free on one income. Believe me, it can be done.
I was a stay at home mom, whose husband made enough money to support our large family, but l realized that l was totally financially dependent on him, l did not want my daughter to be in this position, even though having children was the most rewarding part of my life. Any female should be able to support themselves because life throws you challenges. Most people nowadays need two paychecks to survive, that man is delusional if he thinks a woman should put themselves in that position of powerlessness. It’s not that simple!
BS. Not to mention that we can get a job. We can go to community college if need be. Your life doesn't end after you have kids
So basically you're saying you don't actually trust your partner in order to entrust your livelihood to him. Gotcha. Not to mention that you can get vocational training for a job that will sustain you independently pretty damn easily at most community colleges. I know plenty of women that raised their kids and then decided to get a career. If we teach females not to trust the males they are in a relationship with, it's a self fulfilling prophecy that the relationship is ultimately doomed. Look at how dating is right now. It's a complete shit show because so many don't trust anyone and people aren't connecting like they used to.
You can be a homemaker and work.
@@TheSwauzzor something could happen to her partner and now she’s left with nothing. People die unexpectedly all the time 😢 it doesn’t hurt to have a backup in place (and hope for the best)
He never once said women should not have careers. He even acknowledged that most of these women will have careers. Y'all need to learn to listen with comprehension, it's embarassing.
If you are living or struggling to live in the word of God his speech will resonate in your life. Best speech ever!
Did he have anything to say to the young men and how to be a good father to all of those babies that those women were supposed to have? I have loved being a wife and mom, but I am also so much more than that. I did stay home with my children and support my military officer husband. But when those kids started school, I was encouraged to get out there and do the things I was interested in.
And as far as his mother, you don’t have to be too smart to know that her family meant far more to her than being a physisist. And no one has any idea about what part she played in raising her children.
Who knows, we didn’t hear the whole speech.
This is only a snippet of his speech, so he may have.
He addressed the men and the importance of fatherhood right after he addressed the women.
@@Bjjcompilations amazing how everyone chooses to focus on the first half and not the entirety.
As a stay at home mom who feels all the things about my life that he says his wife feels... it feels off that he would 1. Say it at a graduation, 2. Speak for her, rather than speaking for himself. I would much prefer for him to say how being a husband and father is the most important thing he will do. Yes a career providing for his family is part of that, but if he is going to lecture women about putting family first as the most important thing, he should do the same thing to the men. A career for men is in large part in service to his family, and in service to society. Men should put their women first. It's not all women's job to put their men first. If a woman is better off prioritizing motherhood, so to is a man better off prioritizing fatherhood. Money and prestige are empty except in service of those relationships.
For a man to tell a bunch of women to focus on being a wife and mother feels patronizing. It's a message I want to hear from women, not from men, unless perhaps it is targeted as much at the men as the women.
I agree completely. It’s not that he’s saying completely false things, but it’s the context. He is giving this speech to, yes, a catholic college, but still a crowd of people who worked very hard for their degree. Instead of congratulating all these women, he is basically telling them their hard work is for nothing… he should have been uplifting both choices, and if he wanted to touch base on women being homemakers after earning degrees, then he should have been more smooth with it. Say both are great and to pursue your dreams, whatever they may be.
@@HelpImStuck763Feminine is amazing. Love and compassion by bringing others along.
However feminism is a hateful ideology by women to hurt women.
For example, feminist women criticize women who put their family first. Pure self hate.
💯💯💯💯💯💯
well said
Would be great if women were telling other women these things, however, most women are brainwashed and aren't saying these things but the opposite, the ones who are get called pick me's and male centered. Men don't need to be told they should be providers, we already know that. It's been drilled into our heads as long as most of us can remember that if we can't be a provider for a woman and a family that we are a failure. It isn't men that need to hear these things. This is one of the many problems with women today, what he said is true for the most part, but you have a problem with it because HE said it. That shouldn't matter and doesn't change anything about what was said or it's validity or the fact that it needs to be said.
I was a professional dancer with a very large European Dance Company. I also have multiple degrees. I retired when I had my children to stay home and raise them. Staying at home to be there for them, manage my house etc has been the hardest, most rewarding and fulfilling path I have ever trodden. Perhaps his message wasn’t eloquent but his intent was there. Women need to feel this role is a valuable option.
Agreed, thank you. The vast majority of society now makes you feel like a career is all you should aspire to. I didn’t even know it was okay to wish for marriage and kids the most until some years ago. It’s crazy how people don’t see how skewed society actually is! Everything everywhere promotes career women. So what’s so bad about one man speaking at a Catholic college about another option? It seems like if there’s any place for that it’s there.
“A valuable option”. Well, options are quantifiable. Value is quantifiable. How about we pay women for choosing this “valuable option”...and that doesn’t mean with room & board and being on call 24/7.
A valuable option. Yes. Valuable to society, to the well being of members of society…it is a choice which has a lot of value. You can not make everything of substance transactional and a commodity.. i am sorry for you if you think of motherhood and homemaking as such… i have lived both sides of the economic equation and I am so much happier being on call 24/7. 😊😉
@@heatherw.3528 Women aren't the ones who made or see the arrangement as transactional. And for the record, the Bible understands this concept, hence dowries.
Women fucking know that, but why not tell men too? Men can be stay at home dads if they want to, why not tell them that?? Or is it because they want women to be a second class citizen sex maid who lives only for a man??
Amala, you're always so on point. So nuanced and logical. Always showing up with a caring, respectful explanation as to what you're saying and i really think you are doing such a great job in reaching people and allowing them to learn different points of views. You and Taylor are so needed!
My life began when I divorced my husband, but to each their own.
Then he obviously was not the right partner for you
My parents are divorced too and I’m glad they are because their relationship was very unhealthy. But damn if I thought my mother liked a job more than she likes me I’d be pretty upset. Nothing wrong with a man highlighting how good being a homemaker can be.
@@popuri48women can do both, so can men. That's a bit selfish of you to basically want your mum to be all about you and have no life for herself
@@the_clee_queen2625dUr thEn he obVioUsly WaSN't tHe riHgt pArtNer fOr yOu, dUR
Glad that you escaped the marriage, which been forced upon you. Divorce can improve your life drastically and it's magical
Women are told being a mother is the greatest thing while also being told having a successful career is the greatest thing, how about not telling people what to do?
Unfortunate but true you cannot have both at the same time
Women are told that having a successful career is the best by each other, mostly single mothers and lonely women
Aren't you telling people what to do? Just saying
A bit hypocritical
@@RR-zl8pg that’s assuming a lot tho, maybe they could get to that conclusion on their own, why treat women like they can’t reason?
@@somethingclever8916 sure but I stand by it, I mean how else do you expect someone to express they don’t want to be told what to do?
Why do people even care? Women/ couples should be able to choose which option they prefer. Unfortunately, raising a family on one income is barely feasable anymore nowadays. So I don't even see the point of asking a bunch of women to be homemakers. Many simply can't.
Exactly-some women can’t have kids or don’t get married. It doesn’t make their lives any less.
Remember the audience! They value marriage and family above everything else. Their priorities are God, family, country and job, in that order. He did not say they could not pursue careers. He did not say if they pursued careers it would not be rewarding. He did, however, stress that their greatest reward would be in their marriage and raising their children. Ask any mother, who has had a career and family, what is more important and valuable to them their family or their career? They will always choose their family over their career. And yes, women have been sold. A bunch of diabolical lies. Think about it women have more opportunities across the board, why are they more depressed than ever!? because they are told their career is more important, and they are nothing if they just choose to be a homemaker. Very excellent articulate poignant speech.
As a non religious “trad wife” I’ll say the greatest thing I’ve done with my higher education is pass knowledge along to our son. Traditionally women attended college for the pure sake of being educated, not for a career; but it’s nice to have that option and I’m grateful to the women that faught for us to be able to have it.
speaking as a man, you're wrong about fighting to be only to educated. People like Susan B Anthony not only fought for the rights of women to vote, but also the right for women to be economically independent and self-sufficient especially at a time when women were being denied economic rights unless you were into the upper part of society.
@@gloriathomas3245 You misconstrued what she said. You combined two separate statements into one. She said women traditionally attended college for education and SEPARATELY that she's grateful for the women who fought for the right to attend. Not that women fought for women to only attend college for education.
Women weren't even allowed to have own property or have a car note or a credit card without a male scient co signer before 1972 what do you mean women didn't want to go do professions when they got their education they just wanted to be educated question mark we weren't allowed to it was very difficult for women before 1920 or 1950s or 1970s to really pursue a career and be taken seriously come on you can't be that I need when it comes to our history
To be fair, you less you're religious, being 'traditional' only works if it fits your personal goals. Tradition is based on truth, truth is based on religion, brought through holy books like the Bible for us to read and understand morals and principles.
It's good to follow traditions in most all cases, because they've probably proven to work for many people, but that's only because they have moral, truthful backing.
The late comedian Joan Rivers said in her time, the 1960s, women attended college and got married. They, "Were desperate brides." I am guessing these young women were from well to do families, people with money sent their kids to college, and wanted to find a husband with high earning potential and who would be a great provider. This hasn't been the driving motivation for a college education in decades.
Imagine being mad that a conservative Catholic speaking at a conservative Catholic college, with values they abide by when agreeing to to the school. The internet is ridiculous.
Some people get offended by the things evil people say even when it’s only said amongst those who share their evil views. Just because you are speaking to a captive audience full of sycophants does not validate your views, it just means you’re only talking to people who share your mental illness.
Yeah like he never said they couldn’t have a career Many stay at home moms when their children get older go to college and start careers they just put it off a little bit. I don’t get it.
People are made at his homophobic and sexist remarks throughout his speech referring to womens sole purpose being a homemaker and how there life does not begin until they are married, to a bunch of newly qualified women, he also brought into talks of abortion and matters of LGBT which are completely unnecessary in a graduation speech, he should be fired.
Can you not see how his speech was harmful? He basically negated all the work the women have done. Also, did he make a speech to the men, how their lives don't start until they become a father? That their purpose in life is to procreate?
Ask the dads to do the same then. @scray00
>Catholic man espouses Catholic values to Catholic college graduates.
>No booing, no protests, no screaming.
>Receives standing ovation.
>Internet mob watches 20 seconds of his speech.
>”LOOK AT THIS TOXIC MASCULINITY P.O.S.!”
My faith in humanity is on a constant roller coaster ride these days. 🤦♂️
I think he could have gotten the same point by just saying how thankful he was to his wife and reminding the women that both careers in motherhood and in the corporate world are honorable.
My great grandfather was a photographer in the early 1900's in a small town called Fort Fairfield in Maine. He was the town photographer and he died at the age of 36 due to tuberculosis leaving my great grandmother with two kids under the age of 4. She became the town photographer when he died.
Did she ever remarry
@@Sunflowers_220 yes she did after she moved down to NH
I love how conservatives praise homemaking, but forget that sometimes husbands are violent, don't work or die and now she has to work.
@@Chkoubs I love how liberals denigrate homemaking, and constantly forget reality in favor of paranoid fears.
1) Most men live to their 70s, past retirement age. Odds are you will not be a young widow.
2) Only 6.4% of married men are unemployed. Odds are you will know a man is a deadbeat before you marry him, and thus won't marry him.
3) Rates of female-perpetrated violence are higher than male-perpetrated (28.3% vs. 21.6%).
I actually use to work as domestic violence intervention specialist, and the idea that women should fear marriage because men are abusive is the most absurd nonsense imaginable. First of all, if you aren't a drug-addicted, alcoholic with a history of childhood abuse, you probably won't marry an abusive man. If you're a college-educated, upper middle class woman then the chances of you being abused are astronomically low and shouldn't factor into the decision to get married, though red flags should not be ignored.
I am a current female student at Benedictine College and it’s honestly so crazy how much this speech has blown up! I was not at the graduation speech but I watched it and talked to some of my female classmates who were there about their opinions on the speech.
For me: I think the message is not a bad one but that it was said at the wrong time and place. I think for a graduation send off speech, it should’ve been a proper send off involving their hard work and accomplishments. Being called to marriage and motherhood is a huge responsibility and not an easy task. I commend any woman for choosing it and pray that it goes well. I think he could’ve still brought up the importance of Mothers and SAHM but not make it the whole speech.
One of my female friends who was at the speech thought that it was bit preachy and too much for a graduation send off. She’s Catholic too but thinks he went too far on some topics.
Also BC is a very pro-marriage and family campus and so a lot of students, both male and female, go to college to meet a likeminded person to get married to. So many men and women in that room are either dating, engaged, or married. I personally know several engaged/married. That’s just the culture there. Also there’s more women than men at the campus so majority of people in that room are women.
But then it seems to me like the speech was a good thing? He took the time to address a majority of women instead of ignoring them, and if a lot of people already go there with intentions of getting married it seems like what he said was aligned with that? Idk I thought it was a good speech. People are going way too crazy.
Then making the speech was useless
@@popuri48he started ragging on surrogacy and ivf. the man took the opportunity to give a politically charged speech (brought up biden too, which like ya he sucks but dude😭). i just think it was super unnecessary and super out of place. lowkey misogyny.
To me, it felt like he was putting certain things into perspective. While it certainly isn't a bad thing to have an aspiring career path in mind, being at home and supporting the family needs to a big part of it too. The same should certainly be said for the husband as well!
@@brothermichael8442 I completely agree!
I’m not mad at Butker. He’s a traditional Catholic speaking at a traditionally Catholic school (Benedictine College is NOT Notre Dame). What I think happened was that the wrong people caught wind of his speech and turned it into a spectacle for the rest of the world, for which his message was clearly not intended. I’m sure that most of the people actually in attendance at this graduation are in agreement with him or at the very least, not offended. As a traditional Catholic woman myself who graduated from university almost a decade ago, his message resonates deeply with me. I WISH that my younger self would have heard a speech like this at my own graduation. I always intuited that being career-obsessed wasn’t sustainable and that my future family would be my true vocation, but at that time there were no influential voices like Butker’s to help me fully realize it. Instead, I squandered years of my life into hyperfixating on my job, subsequently blowing off steam from all that burnout by partying/drinking/entertaining dead-end relationships, and completely neglecting to learn any practical life skills for taking care of a home and family. Thankfully I’m catching up now, but oh how helpful it would have been to have had at least SOME idea on how to properly cook and prep meals, keep an orderly home, cultivate a healthy marital relationship, and educate/parent small children before now. A message like his would have saved women like myself from years of depravity and heartbreak. I would have been reminded to place my identity in God and have a better understanding of *vocation* (the means by which we are sanctified - for Catholics that means marriage/family or entering the religious life like becoming a nun or priest, etc. Coincidentally it’s *not* your professional career). Such knowledge would have enabled me to respect my soul and invest in myself so that maybe I could have entered family life with a better foundation and much less baggage.
Excellent comment!
Brilliant response thank you
I had a very similar course to my life and wish we had a speaker like him. Being in college in the 70s lead women in the wrong direction and to do things that weren’t good for them.
Amen 🙏 👏👏👏👏👏! This is what he means by vocation!
Oh my god, finally someone else who understand what vocation means in Catholicism. I've been reading so many comments for self-proclaimed Catholics who don't know anything about their own faith.
If you don't have children, you won't necessarily understand the truth of his statement. My university graduation was anticlimactic. My professional career as an educator was interesting, but it was a job I did to pay my bills. My life truly did begin with the birth of my first child. My life was blessed more deeply when my husband and I decided that I would stay home and educate our own children instead of the children of other people. I never hated my job as a teacher. The students and I learned a lot together, and I believe we even had fun. But nothing measured up to shaping the lives of my own children (and others through co-ops and tutoring I did over the years).
This man was speaking in a heartfelt way. I believe he was trying to combat the uber feminist idea that you aren't a worthy person if you stay home and care for your children. There are many voices who shame young women who want nothing more than to be a wife and mother. There is NO shame in that.
Some are called to missions, some to be CEOs of their own companies, some to be teachers or scientists...and some to stay home. I believe he was trying to affirm that that is a legitimate choice, not something to be embarrassed about.
My own DIL was told by her parents that she must get a degree or get out. She's run several successful businesses and never has needed that degree for either. She is also a mother of two and recently decided to give up one of those businesses to focus on my grandchildren. My son makes enough that this choice is not a problem. What a blessing that is for those kids!
I never expected "mother" to be one of my most cherished titles when I was growing up. But once I married and I became a mither, all the rest fell aside. I didn't give up using my talents. I still use them in different, creative, fulfilling ways. But truly, the degree acquisition was nothing compared to cradling my first (and every other) child.
As a catholic woman I don't agree with this, an speech for this occasion shouldn't be about telling others (women in this case) something like this. Yes, he can have his opinion and it's ok, but we have to be able to distinguish when to say something like this and when not to. I myself am an engineer and work and of course the day I have my children I would love to raise them and become a homemaker but I understand that is not everyone's cup of tea, women have the choice and we have fought a lot for this opportunities, it is a bit insulting to be told "oh yes you achieve all of this but probably you'll do better as a mother and wife" ,minimazing accomplishments.
Well the entire Catholic study body stood up and gave him a standing ovation so the women clearly agreed with it.
@@mione134 how many times do people have to act like literal monkeys following a herd before standing up and clapping means nothing?
@mione134 There will always be people who agree with others on a certain topic🤷
He wasn’t minimizing anything. Simply highlighting the role of a homemaker, which society nowadays rarely does. People look down on women who choose to stay home as if they are less, but I don’t see anyone crying about that.
@@Lulu-l Yeah. The entire graduating student body that this speech was specifically for gave him a standing ovation. His 20 minute speech spoke to the men and women. Everyone loved it. They agreed with it. If you didn't, that's fine. But the speech wasn't for you. It was for them and they loved it.
As a Catholic, I am not offended, nor appalled by his speech. I watched the entirely of his speech. Do I agree with everything? No. But I get it and understand it. He's a very conservative Catholic and spoke at a conservative Catholic college with values that line up with him. Tiktok and twitter getting mad at him and trying to cancel him is hilarious. If it doesnt apply to you, then keep it moving. His beliefs and the beliefs of the students have no bearing on your own life. People are going to believe whatever they want. We are called to be mothers. That's just a fact. The child free crowd hate that. But he's not imposing his beliefs on you.
Then get back in the kitchen and stop interrupting the men talking. This is Catholicism after all.
It’s true. The feminists of today are the biggest men hating group out there. One thing no one mentioned was all the applause that he received after he said that. Which is because he’s speaking to other Christian’s it’s not like they asked him to speak in commiefornia to a bunch of liberals. Truly a shame the hate on the internet for the Christians these days.
Amen.
Feminine is amazing. Love and compassion by bringing others along.
However feminism is a hateful ideology by women to hurt women.
For example, feminist women criticize women who put their family first. Pure self hate.
Amen! Where did you watch his whole speech?
The commencement speeches at my first college graduation was all about giving back to the college and community. It wasn’t about us at all.
Harrison gave solid advice and had a real Catholic perspective. I would listen to this speech any day. I am glad that he didn’t beat around the bush.
As a Catholic, it seems that it is never the right time or right place to be Catholic and speak about real Catholic principles. I am tired of the whole walking on eggshells thing because you are going to “offend” someone.
He was speaking to Catholics in a Catholic space. If he can’t be free to speak clearly candidly there, then we have a big problem.
I am unapologetically Catholic. Go Harrison!
Why is it gay men kicking off? Always people that aren't affected.
Probably because they are also men, kind of like why fat people fat shame other fat people. They know they can do better.
They feel group responsibility as a man too and I guess they are dramatic. idk second guy was a bit in your face lol. Thing is as a woman if another woman whether straight or homosexual said something I dramatically disagreed with I would feel inclined to provide another opinion to show it's not a group sentiment.
Many of us are just rolling our eyes at them. They don’t speak for us. They simply provide the requisite amount of cringe suitable for any social media post.
We have mothers sisters and friends that are girls. Y’all straight men hate and murder women so we gotta speak up for them
Because gay men are the only type of men who treat women like people with feelings and not sex objects like straight men do
There’s a time and place. It felt more about him than the actual graduates. It seems normal for most speakers to make a graduation about themselves, but there was a much better way to spread the message. For example, speaking to all students by saying yes career is important, but remember family and children may be more fulfilling compared to work…
I agree. Although I agree with his message that being a wife and a mother is fulfilling. It’s inappropriate to tell women that are graduating college they’ve wasted their time and they should go be wife and mother. It was not an appropriate time at their college graduation to undermine that accomplishment.
@pooksmagoo6521 finally someone says it. If a liberal was pushing their liberal ideals at a graduation speech, people would be livid.
@@pooksmagoo6521 He didn't just say being a wife and mom is fulfilling. He said it's a woman's true purpose.
Women are lied to. Better they hear it now than later. Btw to the liberal with poor word comprehension. This is not forcing an issue the way liberals try to force issues. 🤡
That was the most wild to me… it’s very different to say it’s your sole purpose in life, rather than just a fulfilling thing in life.
I don't think we have a problem staying home in this generation. We just can't afford a one household income. And if divorced. Women should still always be provided for always.
Not always
@@jona5517 forever if it's marriage. I guess unless remarried. But if we are homemakers it's forever. Well either working or homemaker for me anyway. I'm even more for that when this guy told me he wouldn't even care if his wife who is a sahm died. Because he says he would have more money if she went to work. 🙄 We are there to add and work. But we are ultimately not a man's work horse. There is boundaries.
Agreed. I've met guys who want three to six kids and a stay-at-home-wife but they are studying to be an elementary school art teacher or something with an equally low earning potential, while living in a high-cost state with no intention of leaving. It seems like a lot of men who want kids want to raise them in poverty. My dad grew up in poverty but worked his a** off to raise his kids comfortably middle-class. I'm sorry, but I don't want to be a stay-at-home-mom if it means raising them in poverty. Very few men make the kind of money necessary for their kids to be raised comfortably and by a stay-at-home-mom. I also think it would be a slap to my dad's face to choose to raise my kids in the same living situation he worked so hard to get out of. It would literally be a waste of all the opportunities I have been given because of my dad.
Women should still always be provided for? You mean, like children? Lmao.
If a women has decided to divorce her husband (I believe 80% of divorces initiated by women) why do you "have to be" provided for. You sound like the "I don't need a man, just his money" type which then provides me understanding of the "type" of women you are, which probably isn't comparable to Harrisons mother or wife.
I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with what Butker said. But I definitely think it wasn’t the most appropriate place for it. And he didn’t say they had to choose between a career and motherhood. He said he’d bet, for many, their greatest accomplishment will be motherhood. Not that they couldn’t feel accomplished in their careers. But we’re always told “when you look back on your life, you’re not going to fondly remember all of the meetings at work and how far you came in a company, you’re going to remember family and friends and precious moments with your kids.” I think that’s the moment he was reaching for but it didn’t land well with everyone.
I love it when women say "No man is going to tell me what to do!"
Gentlemen, how many women in your lives have ever or are ALWAYS telling you what to do?
😁
The average person cannot afford to keep a wife at home with kids on one salary. I believe my husband was grateful that I could say "I've got this" when unanticipated bills came in. My grandmother was a housewife. At the end of her life she told me she wished she would have had the opportunities I had to find purpose and meaning outside her 1,000 square foot home. My kids were just fine by the way.
I graduated high school in 1979 and college in 1983. At this point, I could not tell you who the commencement speaker was at either ceremony, and I sure could not tell you what they said. Thank Heavens we did not have the internet then.
Good point! I graduated high school in 76 and college in 81. I don’t remember the speakers either! But I might’ve remembered if it had been someone like him. I’m Catholic and I saw what being a family meant as I grew up but in society in the 70s, we weren’t encouraged to do that!
House wives should be uneducated?
I'm tired of the Internet chiming in on what certain groups like the religious should have to say. They have their views. And if women by this culture consent, it's no damn business of anyone else's to tear apart what they agree to. Btw I'm a stay at home dad, and while getting much flak from family saying I should be doing more - let me tell you there is no value greater than being available to your kids and spouse! ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉 We need to celebrate this!
I agree but he made it about himself a little..also he left out male homemakers (which I noticed right away). As a woman who has seen so many women fall into poverty after being left by the breadwinner and now left with raising the family makes me more hypersensitive. The job market is not amenable to women returning to the job make 10 plus years later.
@@susanarodriguez6888 yeah ur right, he did. That's a lot of the religious rhetoric unfortunately. I know, I think about that a lot too, being out of work for some years, if anything happened, how hard it would be to get an adequate job if needed. But honestly, in life there are so many risks we take every day. And if we were to look at everything with glass half empty, none of us would do anything. Fortunately for both men and women, there are wayyyyy more opportunities to Even work from home. The male home maker in religion is hugely frowned upon. I remember when we made the decision for me to stay home with the kids, because it was way less stressful, certain family members accused me of not being a man, bc I was not the sole provider. It took years to not feel worthless just bc I wasn't earning a paycheck, and there is still some strain with the family. But I just grit my teeth and push on. Are you married?
That narrative that you said is unlikely to happen. It happened to me. He didn't run off with the secretary, but he was paying all the bills, and I did have his child. I did not want my daughter to grow up in a separate parent home, so I stuck with him through physical abuse. I had no marketable skills because he purposely got me pregnant at the age of 18. I could not find a job that was within school hours and I did not trust anyone with my nonverbal kid so we were living out of my car for a few years. While my daughter was in school I pursued a degree and got a job that worked for her schedule. We now live in a two-bedroom Brick House and go on vacation every year, which is something her father could not provide. Before I forget he has not paid child support ever, so I am doing this completely on my own
I am so sorry you have had these experiences. God is with you, and he is watching over you. He cares about you, and you are not alone. I will keep you in my prayers
As someone who used to be a small business owner and has a grad degree, I would say my life truly began when I married and had babies. I found true purpose in caring for all the people in my home. And I received hundreds of more marketable skills as a homemaker than I ever did in college. I can cook, bake, sew, garden, conflict manage, budget, teach, fix plumbing issues, paint, decorate, cut hair, and a thousand other skills that I can now do from being a homemaker. The greatest skill I think I left college with was how to tap a keg. I wish people were more honest like this speech
I have all of those qualities and skills - and I do not work. But just because I am not married...all of a sudden...I shouldn't Stay at home, But instead "go get a job." Obviously a low paying one without Education; since I am only a woman.
Conservative husbands love housewives and Stay at home moms (everything for the kids) - until they meet a younger woman to make their new wife. Then all of a sudden, their ex-wives become accused of laziness and gold digging for continuing staying with their children and making them a home.
@@frijofroisdeern3783this statement is a generalized statement, not all men are like that. And you're talking as tho conservate men are the evil or this world or something. I guess it's the American agenda to paint people with christian values as evil
beautifully said
@@frijofroisdeern3783 the problem here is the husband, not the wife. He will have to answer for leaving his family. His pressuring her to neglect the children and enter the workforce says more about him than it does about her. It doesn’t make being a homemaker any less important of a pursuit.
Please don’t use the example of a degenerate man to paint all conservatives a certain way.
@@frijofroisdeern3783 What are you even talking about? Saying conservative men move onto a younger woman is ridiculous. Firstly, ANY kind of man OR woman does that shit. Secondly, this doesn't happen for the majority of people in relationships. You are seriously projecting or something..
I used to strive to be a career woman and even delayed having children until all the career boxes were ticked. Now that I’m a mom, I totally agree that being a mother has been the most fulfilling, it has given me the most confidence, clarified my purpose, and is hands down the most important job I’ve ever done. I feel as though being a mom brings out the best in me. I didn’t expect that and I had friends discourage me from this path because they believed it would ruin my life. I don’t think he was discouraging women from pursuing their careers, just letting them know the joys of being a wife and mother, and it’s okay for them to purse this path. I don’t see a problem with him mentioning this at graduation. There are women waiting to hear this. As for having something just in case something happens to your spouse, there are various types of insurance for that.
Truly god bless your soul in this evil world we live in.
Beautiful ❤❤❤
Yes! Nicely said. I couldn't agree more.
I agree that being a father has been the best use of my time. I also have other things to offer the world.
The point of original feminism was having options and be free to decide on our own.
The woke cult is preventing women's freedom and safety worse than what 'pathriarchy' did in modern times.
They're taking away our choices with indoctrination and mob tactics, they make us work more than men, put us against men, put men in women's spaces and just use us as pawns with no value. And they also retaliate against anyone who dare to be different.
It's the same oppressive method, again damaging women, disguised under a different flag
its CRAZY to me that people talk about "being a homemaker" as some kind of sentence... like you are the glue that holds together a legacy, a family. The home is where you foster love, memories, you can fill it with the things that mean the most to you, etc. It's crazy to me. Insane. You cannot have a exquisite home life when you spend 20 hours at home per month. My mom and dad claimed their roles and I and my 3 siblings learned what it means to work hard and prioritize and SACRIFICE.
When peoole say its the only things you should do It becomes one
It is a sentence if you do not want it, if you are forced into it and not given any other choices.
Totally agree. Families are the fabric of society....
It’s literally what we are spouse to do…. It what’s women are made for.
Your words are beautiful, it's a shame that in practice it's not like that and it's precisely because we grew up seeing the reality of women in our families who gave up their careers to serve the house that we see this as a sentence, It's shocking how many women are unhappy with their lives as housewives, so yeah, we have an point ig.
Most young people have spent four years and thousands of dollars on a worthless degree that will probably get them a job at Starbucks. Talk about that reality.
there would be jobs if the women would get out of the job market
@@billwalton4571 Most American families rely on a two income household nowadays. In some cases, women have to work to help support their families.
@@Prinouisse its the result of the inflation caused by women in the workforce but its too late now, prices are up. The issue is materialism and the evil mindset that if you dont own a good home you're not worthy of being a human.
You blaming women in workplace for inflation?! 🤬 LOL. And yet Christian FUNDIES say they are nothing like Muslim. LOL 😂
I think with the topics you cover, people think you are right wing, but your takes seem to be an enlightened centrist. We’ll happily accept you Amala!
Imagine: the left are pro companies! In the 1960 companies had to pay the man a living wage. Now they get two workers for the price of one. And women have to work AND be homeworkers. All in the name of progress.
Don't get me wrong, women should be able to get skills and to work. But not every woman makes a "career".
And telling women it is empowerment to give your body to please men doesn't seem very progressive to me either!
Right? Like I was thinking that other "right wing" youtubers like Charlie Kirk or even Brett Cooper would be very much in favour of the speech but Amala's take is a lot more balanced and considerate of both sides.
nah she seems pretty radically left wing facist in this video she listens to 20 seconds of his 30 min speech and projects what she thought he said for most of the speech what he said is what the majority of not just americans but humans think i guess you and amala can have fun dying with no one at your death bed and no family to leave a legacy with must be a fun fullfilling life let me tell you! but seriously she really makes her self look ignorant from this video
The message should go to both the men and women graduating that the greatest thing they will do is have children. That’s what makes his speech sexist bc he was specifically directing it at the women. Apparently it’s not as important for men to recognize they need to be fathers.
Exactly. It could've been a good message if it wasn't aimed at women only and basically reducing their degree to nothingness. Career and family are separate goals in life.
He did address the men and the importance of fatherhood right after he addressed the women.
@@Bjjcompilations Did he tell them that their life purpose is in their ability to be a father and homemaker? No.
@@user-lj5wy9hz2y Because that’s not what Catholics believe. Catholics believe the role of a man is to lead their families, not be homemakers, that’s the woman’s role. And you can disagree with that, but you people need to start understanding that others have different viewpoints and that while maybe weird, can come from a good place too.
It would still be bs tho but hey at least it’s not sexist anymore
I'm a SAHM and I have a college degree, (I graduated with no debt due to picking an affordable school, my academic performance, working all through college, saving all of my birthday and Christmas money my whole life, and some help from my dad the last year of my education about $500 a month) absolutely being a wife and mother is more fulfilling to me than anything else in my life that I have done. If I hadn't gone to college I would not have met my husband. That said, college graduation is NOT the place to bring this up. Young women still deserve to be congratulated for earning a degree just as much as young men do. Having a career or being a homemaker is a personal choice and should be respected as such.
Thank you. People don't think about the fact that a homemaker is in fact a career. And for many ladies, it's a thankless job. I celebrate choices for women. I do think more men need to understand the value of women's labor at home. All the things a woman provides would be really expensive all combined if she was paid. She'd make bank.
My mother, a Catholic. Had 6 kids. Stayed home to raise. In her 40s as we got older, she went to university and eventually ended up with a associate professor. Late 70s still involved in research. I have done similar. Kids. Now career. I believe kids are best served with mum at home as primary carer, not in daycare. I did work one or two days a week while they were young. Eventually build a small business when they are in their teens. You can do both, but not always best to do both at the same time. 🤷🏻♀️
I hate it when someone talks and generalizes with things like "being a mother/father is the best thing you'll ever do", "you'll only feel complete if you start a family", etc. Not everyone has the same goals in life.
What exactly is life for then .. if you don’t want a family or to at least help others what makes life meaningful .. not much .. things are just things and family is forever
@@Kwildcat13life is for living, aka there is variety! God you people are so narrow minded
And not all women can have kids! I can't. And I am so goddamned sick of people basically saying my life doesn't matter since I can't have kids, which is what many people say that is all women are good for. I matter. My life matters. I xan still do great thigns. I DO do great things. And to even insinuate women like me are less than is so cruel, and downright evil.
@@Kwildcat13for these kind of people its about doing selfish things dw
Okay and? This speech wasn't for you. It was for the students at this very conservative and Catholic college who AGREE and BELIEVE these things.
I had a coworker send me a People news article about this speech and she was talking about she was so offended by it... I didn't take it that way at all. He's just simply saying... we shouldn't poo-poo on women who CHOSE to be wives and mommies.
Yes! This is how I saw it too.
Yes, but being a homemaker means being shit on by politicians, woke tiktokers, being told you're wasting your life and attacking women's rights.
@@savm-7252i we must be doing something right if the woke mob is coming after is for this, lol.
Agreed. People are taking his speech the wrong way. He said the lie women have been sold is that the most happiness comes from a degree and promotions. Sure, a woman, like men, can have a career but the majority of women will derive their happiness from having a family. Women should be proud of their achievements, but maybe not salivate over a career where in the end, for most, means nothing. It has led many down and unsatisfied and depressing life. I chose a life with no family. When I die, there might be 3-5 people from work attending my funeral thinking who's going to replace this guy?
All I’m asking who poo poo on women who chose not to have a career? To begin with. I chose to have a career be a wife and have a child and no one told me that the opposite is bad. I was raised by a stay at home mother and all she encouraged me to do is to never ever depend on no man. Even my father used to tell me the same thing. We cannot watch this and say it is not offensive to the ladies who were sitting in front of him. I myself have worked tirelessly to earn all of my degrees and it’s fulfilling to have a career and a husband and a son at the same time. My son is not a criminal nor a drug addict. This things that people say in this times does not work. Just imagine all of us saying at home with the children and if you have 4 or 5 with one salary what quality of life can you provide as a husband to your wife with a median salary. To top it off, men are not even stepping up and tend to gravitate to women with careers. All that to say that I never heard someone talk down to women who choose to be home makers more power to them because I must certainly cannot do it.
Its stuff like this ,that make women hate the trad wife movement. If there was more wonderful why not but the reality is if you don't set up your future your gonna be miserable. Look how much trad wives are complaining?
My husband’s mother was a career woman and the thing that hurt him the most was the neglect that he felt. His dad hardly tried to raise him well and that led to behavioral issues that eventually led to bullying. My husband now sees the importance of a mother in the life of their child, especially when they are young. So now I have the blessing of being a full time mom. There’s a trade-off to everything and typically it’s the kids that deal with the consequences.
Why is he thanking his wife instead of addressing the graduates? Thats just weird.
I beg of people to actually listen to the whole speech instead of focusing on a few short seconds.
I’m 21 yrs old and just graduated with my bachelors degree and will start a full time corporate job next month. I’m incredibly grateful and excited for it however I truly do see it as a way to support myself financially until I meet the man I’m going to marry. I absolutely want a family but until then, I’ll join the workforce!
And you may never find one who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve so good job on CYA so you never have to accept an unhappy life.
Thank you so much for what you do, I enjoy listening to a balanced take. ❤
There are actually a good amount of women who go to Benedictine College for theology degrees that eventually become Sisters (nuns) as their vocation - also referred to being a mother to the community where their order is based.
This speech was inappropriate & disrespectful for a graduation. My mom is a SAHM & suffered bc of it. She told me to get a career so I wouldn't end up like her. That wasn't a lie, it's life advice I needed to hear.
Not for Catholics!
💯
@@luzvargas76Good thing I'm HIndu then
@@luzvargas76 Nobody was talking about religion. Weird how Christians always have to bring it up, it's as if they have to constantly reaffirm their faith to feel worthy.
Each to their own. Life is full of wonders and many different choices. Choose the path best suited for you and enjoy. This guy is giving one choice as part of a speech and can be ignored by those who especially don't subscribe to his worldview
The thing that bugs me too is he talks about his wife’s vocation not just as her path but her embracing the path of women. Bc some women their vocation may be stay at home mom. But you can’t say men can have any vocation in the world but women are all so similar they only get one vocation to choose from
Thanks for summarising this so well.
First of all, he didn’t say women couldn’t work. Second of all, Catholics believe women are meant to be homemakers while men are supposed to be leaders and providers. That’s what he was speaking to.
The term *vocation* has a specific meaning in Catholicism. It does not mean career. In Catholicism, there are only three vocations: the married life, the consecrated life, and the priesthood. Women can participate in the first two, men in all three. So women have two vocations to choose from: wife/mother or nun. Men have three to choose from: husband/father, monk or priest. Women can have any career they want, but the only vocations they can have are the married life or the consecrated life.
When you say "men can have any vocation in the world," you make it clear that you don't speak Catholic and don't understand what he's saying. Literally the only vocation men can pursue that women can't is being a priest in the Catholic Church. Again, vocation does *not* mean career or job in this context.
He also never said that women have to be stay at home moms. He said women's vocation is to be wives and mothers. You can be a wife and mother and still have a job, just as you can be a husband and father and still have a job.
@@wolfofthewest8019 You’re talking too much sense for these people 😭
I love how people are so enraged by a Catholic speech they don’t even understand
100% agree with the first tik tok response. “Women aren’t just tools or an object for men” Exactly
me too, I love how supportive he was of women that are in pursuit of a career and women that are stay at moms. It's all about choice!
@@Meg-cc6yc Some choices are worse than others.
The ones who are pissed off about this can't even define what a woman is anyway
No. I’m not like that at all, but imagine working hard for years and graduating just for some football dude to show up and tell you that you should be a housewife. Just say you’re s3x!st, it’s faster.
Facts! 😂
I think his speech was really sweet. We need more men that uplift their wives and recognize what an important role good wives and mothers fill.
А у него есть жена? Он это говорил своей жене? Нет, он сказал это девушкам на выпускном, которые четыре, блять, года пахали ради этого диплома, чтобы в будущем работать. Он не имел права вставлять эту сексистскую поебень в свою речь
@@KarK4richwell, you might not like his speech, but he had the right to say what he wanted.
Maybe not at someone else graduation
@@joyfulchristina
It wasn't an appropriate time or place and was all one sided. He could have balanced it out with encouraging the male students to pursue marriage and Fatherhood. But nope. The focus is ALWAYS on women. And given the historical oppression of women up until recently - this is a very sore subject.
At a graduation…? Interesting choice
I think that if I heard this when I was younger I would’ve taken it the wrong way. Now that I’m older I agree with him and his point simply is that the role of a mother is like no other. It is the most important role in society and we need to go back to having a family unit and raising kids with morals and values. The world would be a much better place.
All this trans are being extremely dramatic about something they will never understand.
No, you’re just horribly and disgustingly misogynistic. Why don’t you apply the same logic to men? Those women worked hard for years in order to graduate, and they had to sit there and listen to this man with an IQ that’s likely in the double digits preach to them about how they should be a housewife.
Women have a choice. Being a mother is probably one of the *most* important. Here's to all good mothers! 💜 Here's to all good choices.
Did anyone who got mad at the video…watch the whole thing? Bc there is literally nothing wrong with what he said
You know nobody watched 20 minutes of it. I'm sad to see that Amala didn't watch the entire 20 minute speech instead of only watching this viral clip.
he said that ivf and surrogacy is one of the diabolical lies. not the place to say that stuff.
I watched it. I liked it even less since he put so much emphasis on finding ones vocation, then gracioyspy talking like staying home was the only vocation for women. I love what he said about his wife, but I think this was the wrong time and place to have staying home as the vocation of women lols
@@horselover40 He did not ever say that being a stay at home mother is only vocation for women.
The term *vocation* has a very specific meaning to Catholics. For men, the primary vocation is husband and father, for women its wife and mother. The only other vocations are the consecrated life (monks and nuns) and the priesthood (men only).
When he says these women's vocation is to be wives and mothers, what he means is that they aren't planning to become nuns, not that they aren't planning to have careers. Career and vocation are not the same thing in Catholicism.
I'm a moderate Christian & honestly his mindset is harmful. Not all women are meant to be married or have kids. A woman's purpose in life isn't just being a homemaker, it's much more than that. This was supposed to celebrate their hard work, not basically telling the women their hard work doesn't matter that much because they should just be a wife/mom.
A job is just a job though but god didn’t just make women for families they all have different skill sets . That said having someone else raise your kids so you can work a job isn’t really having a family .. so many people call themselves full time parents and full time workers and you cannot be both .
A moderate Christian? If you’re just moderate then you aren’t fully committed to the faith therefore you are not a Christian. One of the core principles in Christianity is to be fruitful and multiply. I’m not even a Christian, but that’s just how it is. To your second point (telling women their hard work doesn’t matter) I agree. There’s nothing wrong with being excited about getting promotions and having enough money to provide for yourself. That was extremely inconsiderate of him to say to all the women who’ve spent years studying their craft at that college. The Bible never says a woman cannot work outside the home, just says she should prioritize caring for children and the home.
Look at the audience- he is speaking to the audience and their view points. I’m Catholic and in college I would’ve felt offended, but now I am older and wiser, there is soooooo much truth behind what he said. Sometimes the truth hurts.
@@Marmarted not remotely truth. Moderate is a political term.
@@Marmartedno it's not. Thay was given to Adam and eve. They sinned therefore that's not our relationship to multiple. God in the Bible values people who are single. You clearly don't read the Bible
And I agree, I'm tired of men telling women what they need to do and focus on making men better.
It's not making men better. it's making women better. Have you wondered why women are so unfulfilled and unhappy in the work.
Amen
He did speak to the men too, though. He just didn’t exclude the women. Would you have preferred if he had?
Amala should have listened to the entire speech instead of going for the easy clickbait clips tbh.
@@popuri48 no, he didn't have to exclude women, he should have spoken to the graduates.
@@uvadoublewahoo2527 He spoke to everyone. If you feel attacked by so little then you have worse problems than a man’s speech
I think this Bumble campaign was trying to address the frustration with dating these days that has women saying they would rather be alone than bother trying to date anymore. They just did it so badly.
Hey Amala, both myself and my 15 yr old daughter ( & her friends) watch your videos. Thanks for bridging the age divide. 👏
I truly hope that women see my comment. I was raised under fundamentalist christianity. College was forbidden. I am an excellent homemaker and I successfully homeschooled my children. After my Christian husbands alcoholism and abuse got so bad that no therapy worked and my children were being traumatized, I had to leave. I had no money for an attorney and I was too afraid that if I asked for child support and alimony that my husband, who had money and family support, would try and take my children away from me so I never asked for or received any alimony or child support. I am now 59, without a degree, and really truly struggling financially. Being a stay at home mother and homemaker means that I put very little money into social security. I truly regret not having a degree or a career or profession. My future looks bleak. What about this scenario? What about women who end up widowed and there was no life insurance policy? What about the many families who struggle to get by financially even though both parents work full-time? Attacking "feminism" is not the answer to these very real dilemmas. I would have loved nothing more than being able to stay home and be the homemaker that I was raised to be, but life has many challenges. This man's speech was full of so many assumptions. Only the professional class who make an upper middle-class income can afford to have stay at home mothers. And if tragedy or abuse should happen, the women and children will pay the price.
This! This is precisely why the feminist movement rose in the first place. It's to give women options and security to thrive no matter the scenario.
I’m so sorry for your experience. He did not tell the women to not get work. He congratulated them on their degrees. He was there to talk to these Catholic women to tell them about the wonderful vocation that is being a wife and a mother. I have a degree but didn’t want or have a real career. When I married at 31, I didn’t work but my husband made very little money and we struggled deliberately so I could stay home. These women do have a degree so frankly if something bad happens they’ll be able to get a job if they hard workers unlike so many young adults these days.
We didn’t even hear his whole speech; I’d love to.
Again, I’m really sorry what happened to you personally.
As a christian I completely agree with you and I'm so sorry for all you've been through. This speech was extremely out of touch.
And how do we know this is not a lie? And how do we know that the habit of the alcohol was formed due to him trying to get away from your emotionally abusive ass.
Why would you assume I was "emotionally abusive"? Your comment reeks of misogyny.@@shaivjoshi4063
Glad to hear such a refreshing spiritual speech in this day and age!
The entire speech is tremendous.
czcams.com/video/-JS7RIKSaCc/video.htmlsi=oIPEXJFBwijWQp2u
As a woman, I liked his speech.Many women work in a cubicle then suddenly wake up 35 and childless.
So judgmental. Not everyone grew up with the same opportunities and privileges to afford this kind of lifestyle. It's very tone deaf of the times.
And are happy because they got enough sleep and don't have a man child to look after, having to give up their careers and goals for others.
It was at a catholic graduation ceremony, their views are already different. The setting was probably the right place for that type of speech.
What does a gay man know about being a woman means?
Exactly Jack shit.
is there a point in accusing him of being gay?
What do men in general know. Plain truth is gay men are told by women without filter their plans and agenda.
@@Kylekillamartyou aren't gay u wouldn't understand
@@Kylekillamart He was a gay man getting offended on behalf of women like myself. He needs to stay in his lane and not speak on behalf of us.
Yeah, that wasn't really a great idea for a speech. Not the time or place. NOT ALL WOMEN CAN HAVE KIDS. I can't have kids, and I am SICK TO DEATH of people basically saying my life doesn't matter, because a woman's sole purpose is to procreate. Women can do so many wonderful, productive things. If a woman WANTS to be a stay at home mother, that is fantastic. But that is NOT the only thing women are good for. His speech was isolating, and honestly cruel.
Additionally, I would argue that there are some women (and men) who shouldn't have kids.
If you can't have or don't want kids, then the speech wasn't for you. He was validating women who would chose that path. Those who would find joy and fulfillment in child rearing and home making.
Maybe go to therapy and work on your issue about not having kids. It seems that you havent dealt with it at all
You can have kids you just can’t create them
@@beautifuldreamer0811 did you read my post?
And this is not disrespectful to women. Catholics consider motherhood sacred (ie. Mary--she holds a specific and incredible role to Catholics and is has very little to do with this life; that's faith guys).
Being a wife and a mother is not bad. Being the only aspirational path for women is, and being 2024 and still having discussions about what women should do (Whatever the fuck we want is the answer, we are adults, we can figure it out ourselves, thank you very much).
I don’t care what your career is the moment you become a parent that’s the most important job you will ever have. I have a nursing degree that was very important at one time but once I became a mom that’s what I wanted to spend my time doing and I’m fortunate I don’t have to go back to nursing if I don’t want to.
"I don’t care what your career is the moment you become a parent that’s the most important job you will ever have." Except people don't say this to men, only women. That's why it's wrong.
@@user-lj5wy9hz2y If a man wants a traditional wife and family then he becomes the provider. In that sense, he is a good husband and a good parent. That was always the man's role in the past and in many cases still is. It is women that have moved away from their traditional roles and pushed into the workforce.
@@user-lj5wy9hz2y I said parent. We also have to accept we play different roles because nature built us that way. My daughters dad isn’t meant to have the same exact job or responsibilities that I do he works and that’s not a role I want. That man stood up there and talked about how wonderful and amazing his wife was and people are offended on her behalf and that’s just stupid. If she’s happy with her life and his speech it’s nobody else’s business really.
@user-lj5wy9hz2y yes, they do. But you're also ignoring human nature where women are the primary nurturers & the father's provide for the family. So even if what you're saying is true, it's very rooted in necessity.
@@aprilbowling6707 That man lectured women and directed it at women, which is why it rubbed people the wrong way. He could have spoken about his wife, and leave it as that.
This guy is entitled to his opinion no matter of you agree with him or not!
And we are entitled to our opinion on his speech
He’s a twat for doing it at a graduation with many women who worked their butts off for years - wasn’t about him or his wife. Unbelievable disrespect. I bet he has an IQ and the double digits.
It's like telling male graduates that their degree is useless and that they should of chosen a trade instead. Just not appropriate.
Would have made a great Mother's Day speech however.
And he is also subject to critique
@@PB_324 No, it's literally not like that. Grow up and get offline and stop oversimplifying narratives in order to support your small minded opinions.
Thank you for reminding me of my mother’s sacrifice of a fulfilling nursing career to be at home with me and my five siblings. I would never have accomplished my goals without her sacrifice and my siblings would say the same. It’s not the same for everyone but follow your own heart and not anyone opinion.
The problem is most people didn’t listen to next part of the speech. The next part of is is calling men to become good fathers and husbands. He also said in that speech that his wife worked outside home and feels like her true job started when she became a mother and homemaker
People forget history so fast. Here is the reality that women need to face. Sure be a homemaker, get married and have kids, be a stay at home wife. Well what if your husband ends up being a complete douchebag who treats you like crap? Do you stay and put up with it? Let's say you are 35, have 4 kids and never had a job outside of the home. Your husband suddenly dies with only 25 thousand in life insurance. Well that's enough to pay for his funeral. Now you are a 35 year old single mother who has no job experience and no degree and you have to figure out how to take care of your kids when no one will hire you. This is the question that my Dad asked me when he told me that the only person you can actually rely on to take care of you is YOU. If you place all of your faith in a man you will find yourself in a bad position. Women and men should both work and pay bills, They shoudl both take care of the house and the kids. It is the best way to not get into a bad situation.
“What if” is not a good place to lay a foundation. One foot out the door. Be prepared, absolutely. Prepare by choosing a good spouse, setting yourself up for a career if need be, but don’t live in fear.
It’s funny how people bring up the worst case scenario when trying to defend their side of the argument.
@@K.lucely Worst case scenario is what's going to help you prepare. You want to live in tornado alley without a basement or safe place to hide?
You had a bad father. He ripped you out of your birthright as a woman. That is, to be a mother who is 100% present for her children. You bought the lie of efinism, which teaches women to hate themselves, children, all men and all other women equally. That sucks.
It's not a far fetched idea that your husband might be abusive, dead beat dad or cheats on you! You should always have a way out financially
The speech was to let women know that the world is wrong when they say being a homemaker is bad. You can do it and be very happy. He did not degrade the women you got the degree.
He implied women pursuing a career was a "diabolical lie". Women should be able to choose what they want to do, whether if it's being a career women, mom, or both
Telling them to stay at home because that's what we're designed to do... yeah that's not insulting women who earned degrees to specialize and work at all... smh.
@@sirekakhemai3254Feminine is amazing. Love and compassion by bringing others along.
However feminism is a hateful ideology by women to hurt women.
For example, feminist women criticize women who put their family first. Pure self hate.
But why single out women? It's 2024, and men can be homemakers. A lot of women (myself including) are the breadwinner. NTM, even if homemaker was their goal its nearly impossible in the economy. I 100% guarantee this wouldn't be an issue if he said men and women.
I think he is probably just a bit simpleminded, and seems to think that that which, SO FAR, has worked out for his wife, MUST necessarily also be the best for most.
He never said that the career is something wrong. He said the most important thing for people who have a vocation to get marry is children and family. Non-catholics cannot understand his speech, but we Catholics really do. We are called to different vocations and we believe that by leaving the vocation to which God has called us we will be happy in this world and in the next. It is horrible to have a mother and father and to be raised by strangers. That is why this society is broken. Americans are raised by strangers because their parents prefer money than to love their children.
I was a homemaker and loved it I was able to do a lot of volunteering in the community. I have a daughter who wishes she could stay home with her daughters and homeschool but with the economy the way it is there is no way for her to do it. I feel sorry for women who want to but are unable.
I think the crowd can speak for just how offended they where by his speech. If you listen, you don’t hear booing. I don’t hear angry mobs with pitchforks.
A great deal of what we are dealing with in society today its because many come from broken homes. Many people come from homes that have screwed up priorities. And what their focus should truly be on, and the things in life that have actual real value. My perspective is, when everything is said and done and you have passed away from this world it is not gonna matter the amount of money that you have. It is not going to matter where you lived; what car you drove. What clothes you wore etc. cause when you’re dead it’s all gone. But if you’ve had children there is your true wealth and you will not pass away from this world where no one will remember you. You will not pass away from this world with no one showing up to your funeral. Why focus on things in life that you cannot take with you when you die.
Also as someone else commented, this speech was at a religious Catholic school. He didn't say anything that the graduates attending didn't already believe in. People are getting mad at a speech that wasn't even meant for them.
Totally off topic but that shade of purple is exquisite on you, Amala!
I too thought the same. It suits her
marriage is a partnership. 50/50. neither is more or less important than the other. I depend on her and she depends on me. it doesn't always work out that way for everyone, but that's the goal and we have been committed to it for 31 years and counting. It's not complicated or controversial what he said. And I think he was VERY articulate about it.
I don’t think it’s appropriate to tell a bunch of young women who have just spent thousands of dollars on an education so they can start a career. “Hey your vocation is to be a wife and mother, a career is a lie and if you don’t start popping out babies you will be miserable.”