13 Harsh Truths About Men That Women Learn Too Late
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- čas přidán 28. 07. 2024
- In this video, I'm going to discuss 13 harsh truths about men that women often learn too late. Understanding these realities can save you from a lot of disappointment, confusion, and heartbreak. If you're tired of experiencing the same issues in relationships, then you need to hear this.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Harsh Truth About Men 01
00:52 Harsh Truth About Men 02
01:57 Harsh Truth About Men 03
02:39 Harsh Truth About Men 04
03:22 Harsh Truth About Men 05
04:12 Harsh Truth About Men 06
04:54 Harsh Truth About Men 07
05:40 Harsh Truth About Men 08
06:15 Harsh Truth About Men 09
06:51 Harsh Truth About Men 10
07:31 Harsh Truth About Men 11
08:15 Harsh Truth About Men 12
08:50 Harsh Truth About Men 13
09:28 Closing
01. Men treat you based on their perception of your worth. If they see you as valuable, they'll be dedicated.
02. Don't expect unconditional love. Relationships thrive on mutual support and effort.
03. Insecure men can be destructive. They may try to dim your light and isolate you.
04. Transformation after wealth can be risky. As men achieve success, their priorities might shift.
05. Cheating often comes with lies and denial. Men rarely admit to infidelity readily.
06. Being nice isn't usually a top quality men seek.
07. Great guy is not a Great husband. Compatibility and commitment are crucial for a successful marriage.
08. A man without direction struggles to commit to you. Find someone passionate about their goals.
09. Beware the "chaser." Secure men express interest, not play games.
10. Your past relationships may be judged. Be honest, but avoid unnecessary details.
11. Men can move on quickly. Unlike women, their goodbyes might be abrupt.
12. X-rated content can distort expectations. It creates unrealistic beauty standards.
13. Men value freedom highly. Respect their need for independence, but ensure they choose you freely.
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Ismael Gomez III
I'm a Cuban - American Relationship Coach, Author, and Speaker.
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KEYWORDS
truths about men, dating advice for women, relationship advice for women, men psychology, relationship advice, dating coach, dating advice, what men want, boys psychology, men psychology in love, male psychology, psychology of men, man psychology in love, relationships, love advice, relationship coach for women, cracking the man code, crack the man code, break the man code, breaking the man code, love coach for women, dating tips, relationship expert, how men think,
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It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.
Only give to a man as much as he gives to you and pay attention to his actions, NOT HIS WORDS! Seriously!
I prefer words and actions to align
Yes. I had to learn the hard way to take this lesson.
I appreciate you all mentioning this. I've been learning this the hard way after 10+ years of marriage. Recently been telling my husband when he says something "what are you going to do about it?" Sounds so harsh to me personally but it's something he responds to well and it kind of pushes him in the direction to actually make changes. I would not personally recommend that style for others but we've gone through a lot and overcome a lot. I wish so much that I knew then what I know now.
I especially appreciated the beginning of his message. Ladies - take what he saya seriously! You will save yourself so much heartache and confusion. My husband and I have overcome a lot but we chose a different path than we were told to choose. It was difficult and not something I would recommend to others.
I'd like to add along with what he said about being driven: how does he handle hardship and challenges? Does he show signs of anger? Anxiety? Does he keep his head about him and seek wide counsel? Does he make wise choices? Ask for your advice? If he loses his mind over what you think is ridiculous, he WILL do this in your relationship. If he doesn't ask for your thoughts and opinions especially if it's something that relates to you or affects, he WON'T ask for your thoughts later on. He WILL make the decision without you.
So true.
Exactly, i am 48, and this is true
As a nurse, I have seen husbands and wives come in the morning and stay until late, every day to be at their spouse's bedside. And, these are clients who are hospitalized for months in the ICU. This is my witnessing of unconditional love.
I have witnessed that as well from people close to me. Genuine and true love is real. It’s like losing a best friend. But if that person started treating you poorly and ignored your needs, I bet your feelings for them would eventually change. But if your son/daughter did the same, you’d still love them unconditionally.
We are more than our lower selves. There is greatness within us, every challenge asks us to reach in for the gold.
I have witnessed this in Hospitals as well. How true. There is a maturity about people like this. Not an age maturity, but an emotional maturity.
@SaveTheMessenger You made me laugh in a good way. Unconditional love is for kids, parents and dogs. 😂 (Let's not forget cats, horses, goats ... 😊). It's "funny" because it's true.
You missed the point, my dear nurse. Just because they come to visit them, it doesn’t mean it’s true love. You’re too naïve and brainwashed
'A man will treat you according to the value he sees in you...AND to the value he sees in himself.'
I stopped caring when he said, "I'll eventually commit to you." What a joke. I knew right then and there that he was not the one for me. I wasted years on that man. Never again.
Any guy who acts like he thinks he can put me on " hold for later" is deluding himself..
@@UnashamedCaliforniagirl I agree. 💯 You deserve better than that!
WOW. Just. Wow. Good on you for leaving at that point. At least you weren't co-dependent! I think we all come to our senses at some point. The personal growth journey is the most important one. When we make ourselves a priority (without being narcissistic about it) we scare off the weak, and attract the like-minded.
Researchers found that men need about 6 months to know if they want to marry someone, so if he is not sure after a long time, you are a placeholder, and that has nothing to do with your worth, he's just not the one.
@@LuckyBambi777 Agreed 💯.
1. A man will treat you according to the value he sees in you.
2. He won't love you unconditionally.
3. Insecure man will destroy you.
4. Transformation after wealth.
5. Will lie about cheating.
6. He doesn't care about you being nice.
7. Great guy doesn't equal great husband.
8. When he has no direction in life.
9. Watch out for the chasers.
10. Will judge your body count.
11. Will replace you instantly.
12. Brainwashed by X-rated content.
13. They value freedom.
Happened with me ...broke up and ...I hate to say that I'm crying. I just wanna move on Quicker like he did with another Girl ... I wanna be Richer than him . He thinks he got money and I was only with him for money ... He wanted ONLY $exz from me And today he said clearly for him it's only $ex which means love for him ......for the sake of Self respect I have to leave the Relationship 😔. Idk but it was too much toxic 😭 for me ... I hate to say this that I loved him.... I just wanna Freaking move on Quike 😔😔😭
RUN!
@@d-0v0-b f around and find out. May Allah give you hidaya 😑
@@jojos9788 Ameen 💗🫂
Alhamdulillah, I'm better than ever , and I have to be . For the sake of Allah ... I seriously never wanna be in these anymore ❌
Well I'm glad I'm single then!
3. Insecure men will destroy you
Hindsight is 20/20. I experienced this more than once, unfortunately
Stay strong gurl. Don't let him ruin your precious life
This Is so true!! Stau away Front insecure Guys.
some men are born to fool around never satisfied whatever the woman is good
This is so unfortunate. But then when they are sick and dying they wish they had a woman nearby. I seen it all. Some men are womenizers. Sad
I am like this
I dont want to live a long time either
@@jockamofeno7632You may end up living a very long time..simply because you don’t want to..
@@melt2947 All of the times when Id be laying in bed next to my girl, I knew I was already alone
My inner world, my emotional turmoil and suffering, this would send her packing. And every time Ive gotten comfortable enough to be vulnerable, the abuse would start, and then Id be discarded. So I know now in retrospect that the woman was never *with me*
She just wanted to have me *with her*
Ive been through alot, and this is how it goes every single time.
@@jockamofeno7632 i hope my friends and i never have the great pleasure of encountering a person like u. i will pray everyday that god blesses me to stay away from people like u😊
I am a 27 year old woman and never was in a relationship. Thanks for the advice. A lot of it is in allignment with my own observations about men in relationships.
But watching this video feels like that it's not worth it having a partner 😕😅
I'm a 27 year old woman too and never had a relationship. By the amount of pain I see my female friends in their relationships (not always the guys fault, sometimes my girlies are the red flags or both are red flags) ... it's exhausting to watch.
I doubt I'd ever be able to put up with so much bs.
I like my alone time but I dream of being in a happy relationship. The reality though is scary.
@@letstrytogetbetterokay8516 that's true
It's okay, better live a happy life than suffering with a wrong man
@@letstrytogetbetterokay8516The reality is you must go through painful experiences in a relationship and you better be prepared. Never imagine e happily ever after. That thing doesn’t exist. And with those pains, you have to continue and if you both can fight those pains together and stick to it, that's real love. But never let it be onesided and never leave the side of logic and your selfrespect. Protect your rights and also his. Don't do any odd by yourself and if he is not doing that too with you, then he is not your cup of tea
Another thing i’d like to say is guys will even commit to you just because they want your body. dont give it to them & see how they react
I agree! 💯
You mean weaponizing intimacy as a manipulative woman? But that's abuse.
@@priyankarmajumder4152How about you need to stop manipulating women about their personal lifestyles? Ever heard no marriage no ses?
What are we committing to then. Your bitchy attitude??
@@priyankarmajumder4152 men being entitled to women's bodies and pressuring them into "intimacy" is called cohesion. That's abuse and that can lead to rape
If there is no real love, there is no point.
There is true love, we can remeber it inside our souls. We know!
Luckily we don't have to rely on men for finances anymore
@@zathenhcambidestem-iliv2464 Yes, we know and we are willing to wait for it, not chase it, unlike men who will saddle up and settle down with whomever and whatever they fancy.
Probably not in hetero relationships… not that I have see thus far
There is no such thing, love romantically is based on mutual benefits, these being emotional or physical, true love would mean that you put the other needs and values further than yours which will destroy you.
About truth #1. So basically I think it says a lot about men's character if they only treat you well if they like you. How about treat someone with respect because it's the decent thing to do 😐
Yup. Like Ismael says, his own intentions are not clear to himself. This sounds like immaturity. Also, just because someone treats you and others with decency ... it does not necessarily mean he loves you.
So you're basically asking for fake love? Would you want your man to treat all women equally even though he says he loves you the most? wtf
@@realheckertrustmebro Who's talking about love? I think doing what you say you are going to do is called integrity. It's not love to be a decent human being. Treating someone well should just be how you treat people.
@@happygolucky9004 agreed. i'm sry, i misunderstood.
@@realheckertrustmebro No worries, glad we are on the same page. Thank you for asking a question 😊
My husband passed away last year we did both love each other unconditionally ❤
I am so sorry for your loss! That is a hard thing to experience, and I hope you will keep your heart open to experiencing that again in the future. Every love is different and no-one will replace the unique individual who was so close to you. That said, you can experience that love again, in another flavor, when you have grieved and are ready to.
Im so sorry about it. The people who better die won't die!
@@Negin_arts93😂 like my in-laws , nothing ever happens to my evil inlaws
@@Negin_arts93my evil sister in laws uffff they are too happy uff uff nothing bad s happening to them
@@Negin_arts93my sister inaws uffff nothing bad s happening to them ufff
I am a woman ♀️ and I value my freedom and personal space 😂. I personally have experienced more " smothering" by men than I have tried to smother men.
I totally get it. I've been single for long time and now I am too addicted to my freedom and personal space. I've met men who immeditally insisted we meet on regular basis and hear each other every day, and I felt it was too much for me, at least for just the beginning while I don't even know them. They all left when I said I am not ready for that kind of commitment yet and I need time to get to know them. Some of them were really angry and pissed of like I insulted them by saying that.
@@biljam972 Now that's an excellent way to scare off the ones that only want, well you know what 😂😂😂
❤
Glad to know there’s women like you! I’m a Woman who loves her space too and hates being smothered as well 😂
Same here!!
Same
Definitely harsh. Hardly seems possible to find a good man. Maybe better to just learn to go it alone
@@martinlacunza5250 I was with my late husband for 41 years, never with anyone else. I suppose it’s not possible to find love twice in a lifetime
@@martinlacunza5250 so to you, if a someone only ever had sex with their spouse after marriage and that spouse dies young... the surviving one is no longer a good person? 😐 how irrationally and unnecessarily judgmental, which is not a trait of any good man would have or not one any good woman desires. Genuinely hope that gets better for you at some point, as you might have a long way to go if you genuinely have nothing more productive to do with your time than comment on CZcams videos intended for straight women.
You can always partner with other women! Even platonically and in a sisterly way! Living and working only with other women most of one's life was normal until the last few hundred years, interestingly...
@@Nathanea21Please do not entertain the internet trolls. They know what they're saying is stupid
@@epona1525this makes zero sense, what??
We need secular communities where women can live together, particularly in middle or old age, supporting one another and getting help together. Living alone is fine but not practical in later life.
That's one reason for having a family.
@@faodail3913 Family members can pass on, or move away, or let you down in many ways ... It's not always the solution.
I would not want to live in an all female community 🤢
The pettiness and passive aggressiveness would be off the chart.
love that idea❤
Just to add that there are single men too, who gave up. A community of mildly cynical singles, past their prime would be amusing.
Remember, too, that men don't "love" the same way women do, and do NOT become a broke, trapped housewife and servant. You may be devoted, trust him, be giddy, expect a beautiful home, babies, family holidays, etc, but once you're seen nude, won and slept with for awhile, the man feels trapped, bored, resentful, and starts blaming the woman. He may slack off on chores, helping with the kids, be gone all day playing golf, shut up playing video games, or glued to football games, cheat because "he works all week." There are 1000 excuses, and you're a nagging B. And in the marriage alone. Ladies, l can't stress this enough: get educated, have a career, not a mere job, and set up a bank account that your husband NEVER knows about. Keep your mouth SHUT. If things go bad, you'll have a bed, roof, food, gas, and protection for your kids. Not every Mommy and Daddy will take you in, and pay your bills. And they already raised their family, and likely want to enjoy life, save for retirement, travel, and have peace. Not a sad daughter, a bunch of screaming kids and added expense. It's not fair to them, either. So! Have that secret bank account, SHUTUP about it, DON'T tell anyone, and add to the "run fund" on a regular basis. Even if you don't use it, you'll have nice savings for your retirement years. If your husband is still alive, SHUTUP about it. In the case of your ill health, put it in a specific trust (before you get ill) and have your bank pay your bills for you. And legal directives to keep THEIR mouths shut. Good luck out there!'
Great insights. Thanks for taking the time to write about your experience. I hope others here get to read it.
My husband told me more than once that "I didn't have to work". I knew differently. Working outside the home, and helping with household expenses was valuable in many ways. Now that he has passed, and I am retired the decisions I made years ago were proven correct. As Tina Turner would sing, "What's Love Got to Do With It?"
And, not only do you contribute something, but you have self respect, and are treated more as a valued equal. No man wants to come home to a resentful wife, or one who can only talk about soap operas, the kids, Hollywood gossip, or what's up with Mama. Ugh!
@@SaveTheMessengerExperience? Not personally. My hubs and l just celebrated our 50 year anniversary. It's more a conclusion from what I' ve heard professionally over time. Love your channel, and solid advice!
Best advice ever. ❤ The "run fund" advice is genius, necessary and solid. It's also a good idea for financial reasons. You never ever know what can happen in life. Illness and death can happen to a spouse. My mother was widowed and left with 2 children to raise 10 and 12.
"Secure men will never chase you". Wow that is an eye opener for me that is so true. This was an excellent list and I have experienced the truth of quite a few of these.
A man that loves you truly, sees value in you and wants to have you in his life will chase you. Secure or not secure has no business with that.
I am a mature woman in my 50’s all of this is true!!!!!!!!!!
I live with men in a shared house. Their freedom and independence is everything
I agree with this totally.
My freedom and independence means everything to me too so that’s why I understand.
We are just housemates by the way.
True. It took my mom almost 17 years to walk away from a cheating husband. A couple of years later, she met my step-father. They shared more than 10 years together before my mom passed. Just a couple of months later, he had moved in with another woman!
This has happened with other family and friends. Less than year after losing their wives, they're marrying someone else.
Some men & women don’t like living/being alone especially over 50. My uncle is now married to wife #5. She will bury him.
It's a lot more important whether or not he was faithful while she was alive. Starting a new relationship soon after losing someone could just mean they are deeply lonely and can't face being alone. When you have been in a long term relationship and are used to always having a partner there to talk to and eat with and so on, just being alone can feel like torture.
@@gentlegiants04 The fact that they married so fast made everybody wonder if they were...
I've noticed that too, they just can't stand to be alone they need somebody to have sex with. It's not even about love. They don't even grieve their deceased wives, already moving on and looking for some easy target.
@@kleinschmitterling men seem to have issues being alone whereas women like to be alone and discover themselves again
This is horrible.😢I think I rather stay single for the rest of my life.
Yes, it sounds horrible bc he’s painting all men as the same. They are not all the same just as women are not all the same.
Who are the women raising such sons???
@monalisa2662 why? Fathers don't raise sons too? It's funny that almost universally, the kids are the legacy of the fathers and take their names. But the kid does something bad, and all of a.sudden we find a.woman to blame. Even women hate.women this much.
@@STak-ju7gx Certainly the fathers too. I was raised and raised my children full time while my father and their fathres worked full time so I was speaking from my own reference point.Nothing but love for the fathers... I had a wonderful father! He was working 80+ hours a week though and I saw much less of him than my mother.
Same girl. Males are demonic. Like, why even bother for such a creature? Thank God I’m bi.
Thank you Gomez, well constructed video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Um...What in the twilight zone is going on here...?
@@kleiokaleidoscope9248😂
It is an elaborated ad scheme here on CZcams underneath dating related videos. Account 1 speaks relatable about heartache, account 2 consoles and mentions a pricey counselor with an online service. Account 3 acknowledges it's value. In the case above someone might have reported account 2 which then has been removed leaving a gap in the fake convo.
Number 4 is true . My parents married young when my father didn’t have a lot of money so they both worked. My mom always wanted to be a stay at home mom but my dad made her work. I remember my dad telling me when I was born he picked up a second job just so my mom could stay with me longer when I was born. After she went back to work. Fast forward my parents are in their 40s and my father is the main provider and my mother no longer works. I can tell he quite resents her … I remember seeing him talk down to her as if she was a child in public very demeaning .. I also remember when I was younger accidentally snooping and seeing he has another secret instagram page just following girls. Now that he is in his 40s he’s having a midlife crisis and doing all the things he couldn’t do when he was younger.. you’re so right
Thank you for sharing an honest story. ❤ It's interesting to hear your perspective.
That put tears in my eyes. Kinda hit close to home. But one good thing is that you are aware and seem mature enough to learn from this. I hope your mom finds happiness ❤
Yo my parents are like this
I was 29 and had been set up to date a man who was 40. I've never dated before nor had physical intimacy with anyone. Nor had this man who was 40. I thought someone of that age would be mature, so I gave it a try. He said if im scared of sex, dont bother contacting him, so i didn't.
You did the right thing.
I have two brothers. Neither of them ever jumped from girl to girl. My brothers are not " stereotypical guys" though.
Mine is the same, he's looking for a "good girl" after being cheated on many times... He's handsome tho.
my brother does jump from girl to girl and i find it funny how some girls still have a crush on him cause many of them approach me in order to reach my brother i try to warn them but if they dont wanna understad i let them have their lesson leraned the hard way
We gotta just hook each other up with our brothers ig lol
Maybe they never tell you about their reality , 😮
Or you could be correct
@@danielle-bi3tkhey my brother had the same issue in my brothers youth
In other words, the likelihood you would find a man that values you enough to ACTUALLY love you are slim to none and I should just put all that love i have to share on the less fortunate. I should just continue my journey in learning and growing in knowledge and love so that i don't become a person like these men are.
🎯🎯
Yup, the list is scary but true. God save us all.
At the same time that you continue learning and growing in knowledge, also have an expectation that you will find the best in life, including a great marriage or relationship partner. If you expect the worst, you may be drawing that to yourself.
At the same time, what Ismael says is spot on. He's accurately describing how many men really think. So just be discerning when you see the qualities he describes.
@@joanneblack7697 hey he's talking about the average guy.
This faithless generation of men will end up turning towards each other for lust, and away from women and children, I swear.
#1 hit me hard. My husband has been raging on me the last few months out of the blue. He's been impatient and unkind. I have not known what was going on until a few nights ago when I felt prompted to look at his phone. About the time this behaviour started, he began watching inappropriate videos on CZcams of women in various stages of dress, or in skimpy clothing... so ya, I would say that he no longer is seeing me as his wife, but an object... extremely hurtful. I don't know how we are going to recover from this. Better to be alone than with someone who will betray me, though. We'll see how he responds when confronted with it when the time is right....
Without delay please contact loved ones you can trust 100% to keep a secret and take your side, gather all the money you can access together in an account he can't reach, and make steps to leave to a secure location without a trace and without letting him know. Confrontation could endanger your life, and this abuser who's trapped you is not worth fighting for nor redeeming. If you need support or pointers, use a library/work/cafe computer or someone else's phone to get on forums and call local helplines or a shelter.
good luck girl how did it go
Don't confront, men like this aren't worth the effort
girl good luck. if shit hits the fan pack up and dont look back.
So sorry to read this
I can't find content that will help me stop wanting a healthy romantic relationship. It's never going to happen, it's an unrealistic want, and it distracts from personal growth. No one can tell me how to tell my heart to stop wanting it, even though that heart has been broken multiple times and is sick of it. Fellow ladies, throw me a bone. I'm desperate.
It's normal to want a healthy romantic relationship and it's not impossible. Sure there are assholes but there is also nice people, you just have to try and find them that's how it is
Assholes aren't worth your energy, rotten men aren't. People existing to play you is a problem with them not you. You manifest your reality and you have to stop telling yourself that having a healthy relationship is impossible because that's what you'll get. You have to stop needing love, yeah you can want it but the need is how you undervalue yourself and put your self worth in these men and relationships. You are the most important person in your universe and have to treat yourself as such. Don't settle for rodent men, don't settle for people that won't give you the time energy or respect and fill your heart and life with happiness and experience. The time won't matter because you're putting that value in yourself and your respect for yourself with mirror out into other people especially men that will also respect you. Destroy your mindset, reframe it, and continue to be hopeful
gurl im gay, wanna be with me? 😂💍
The 13th point about freedom is the realest thing ever. Every time one of my exe‘s or my current boyfriend was about to break up with me I was just like: ‚then do so. I don‘t want to force anyone to be with me. Leave if you like‘ and then they immediately switch topics. It‘s a weird behavior.
At #8……. This is starting to feel like finding a needle in a haystack 😖🥴
😆☺
All I do is navigate my way through the world...
Doing my best, moment-to-moment,
to endure the least amount of suffering as possible...
And I keep doing that every day, just waiting to die.
There's no joy, no hope, no happiness in my life.
It's just pain and trauma and survival and misery.
My heart is shattered.
Rage and grief consume every cell of my being.
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. Psalm 28:7
May Lord bless you and keep, let His face shine upon you and give you peace.
Wait in the Lord Jesus, He is coming soon.
What happened why are you suffering?
Thanks so much for this honest, realistic video. You are spot on. It seems to me that masculine culture, that is what boys learn from other boys and later other men, is that arrogant, self-centered, self-indulgent and shallow behaviors towards women are an entitlement for men, the way “cool”men should behave. It disregards the fact that women are as much people as men are. It’s as if the culture is saying men are the favored gender and the world is theirs to play in. Coolness is all on the surface, impression management. There is disdain from men for men who are not this way, disdain for men who see women as fully human partners like they are, and who are considerate, thoughtful, looking for something deeper with women. It’s a shame that the influence of good families, where women are partners in life and not interchangeable servants, goes against the powerful tide to be “cool”. raising girls to look for a Prince does not help but unbalances the culture even more. Women are expected to behave to a higher standard so they can be controlled because they are naive. The culture is not balanced and it is cruel to both genders. Women get used and men miss out on the deeper side of relationships with good women.
I can’t express my gratitude enough.
I feel the same 👍
”A lot of men settle down with a woman because she is the best option they can find at that moment” - How do you know as a woman if your man is going to turn out this way? What are the signs?
There are none. That’s what marriage/commitment is for. It’s for committing to each other through all of the years of changes. Literally everything in society is disposable nowadays, including other people. It’s disgusting. Some signs to look for would be: Does the man have a dog or cat. If so, how long have they had them? How do they treat them? ------ What about friends? Do they have longtime friendships?------- How do they speak about other people’s relationships? Do they speak of relationships and other people as if they are disposable?
I read that integrity is one of the best traits you can look for when looking for a new employee. I think it’s the same for romantic partners: good character is the best thing that might indicate he has the ability to stick around - integrity means he keeps his promises even when it hurts him (eg, till death do us part), impulse control, the moral disdain for women who flirt with a married man, a desire to keep sexual intimacy exclusive between you two (no porn or third party garbage is allowed to enter that sacred bond), and in general whether he acts in accordance with his own values in daily life - does he own up to scratching someone’s vehicle? Is he honest and reliable at work? Does he speak badly about others? Does he honour family bonds when that’s possible (not enmeshment but healthy respect), does he demonstrate interest in and kindness towards people he has no use for and no sexual attraction to (unattractive women, older women perhaps, weaker men, children, animals). The list could go on, but you get the picture.
There’s also a list in the Bible which describes love definitively, and you can measure your relationship against it to get a marker if it’s love or not - none of us keeps the list all the time but the person you wanna trust in marriage shouldn’t be habitually aberrant from the list - it’s in 1 Corinthians 13 verse 1 if you Google that, it starts like ‘love is patient, love is kind….’ And ends with ‘love never fails’
@@ec1222 Even though a heart yearns for a husband like this, the person you describe doesn't exist in real life 😔
How do they speak of others' goals, and mistakes, and others' reruns?
@@BurcuKyarGokkayadisagreed.
“Don’t expect unconditional love from your man in a romantic relationship.”
Why?, men expect unconditional love from their women every day
I put myself as an example that men shouldn't expect that as well.
Doesn't justify the expectation, does it? When you encounter unreasonable expectations from ANYBODY, it is time to set boundaries and have frank conversations - with respect.
For that, they can go to their Momma
Just don't give it to em.
No point
Men are the most entitled creatures on earth, they expect EVERYTHING and when they don't get it they throw tantrums and become abusive. Write offs.
As a teen, I find this advices very true but it's also hard to act normal. I act very carefree of who I am, but yet men gets bored of me because of my constant happiness around them. Lastly, I act very obessive, clingy, and possessive just to keep them around the walls and how I like it. At the end, they luckily slipped through the walls and never came back. Love has taken a toll on me and I distract myself by drowning in books.
A secure man will never chase. Thanks for the reminder and your videos.
Love from Germany
Much appreciated.
Number 4 is the ultimate male blackpill for me tbh. Knowing that a future husband will drop me in our middle age if he ever gets into money, that our life built together and love means nothing, that he only loved me for my youth...its just too heartbreaking. I'd rather be single or with a woman since im bisexual(if I could find one, the ones around me are straight or married lesbians.).
"Secure man will never chase" Thank you❤.. I needed this clarification👍
Sobering truth. I knew a woman who had been a housewife her entire life and believed so strongly that her business leader husband was absolutely faithful. I often thoutht that her husband did a remarkable job at deceiving her, probably out of love. He was staying in Paris she, where I live.
Sobering truth: there are marriages that are successes out there...
@@jzwalz51robin45 The problem is, the wife in my little story probably believes that she is happily married to her husband, while he lives in Paris, working at fancy job all on his own, coming home only one or two weekends home. Happiness is not knowing the truth! Oh, he still looks good whereas she looks somewhat like his mother. Guess what he is up to in Paris when he is not working..
Was he faithful or not? Or you don’t know.
@bomcdowell-kim9194 Long distance marriage is always a red flag. I never believe in it. They want to keep a cheap or free labor faithful wifey so they can come back anytime at old age. Those guys are mostly yucky in my book. Demand respects and time. If he doesn't fulfill it, dump him. I wouldn't be faithful to this type of guys.
In general, women often have soft hearts, that's how we got taken advantage of. The truth is men love gold diggers, because gold diggers are consistent and love themselves more than men. Gold diggers are often good looking. Why? They don't give a sh!t about those men, they take the money and gone. They are numbed and desensitized to the situations like surgeons.
My boyfriend of 2 years was so nice and honest and told me he loves me but is a broken man , and doesn't want to hurt me, and will never marry.
Well we are still together and he is still broken and tells me ,I should find another man , it breaks my heart when he tells me this.
I don't understand why... He tells me he loves me ... And he treats me like a Queen, very affectionate, but now I noticed his eyes look at other women , especially beautiful women.
It's sad that I have too feel like he's over me ,but stays because he doesn't want to be Alone.😢
Leave him, you're wasting your time and energy, but it's upto you whether you have respect for yourself or not
Well let's stop looking at what his needs and wants are.
What do you want? Do you want marriage? Are you okay when he looks at beautiful women that isn't you? Then make that decision for yourself. He doesn't owe you stability, loyalty, you owe it to yourself to find your own happiness
He is warning you of what’s to come. Run far opposite before he breaks you and you will never be the same.
He's making excuses because he has found someone else already or has another one in the list. It's hard but value yourself and put your broken pieces together and JUST RUN. You'll see how you'll feel good yourself a bit later and with this experience you'll find another man who REALLY loves you.
I WAS SAYING THE SAME THINGS TOO …BUT THANK YOU FOR VOICING OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT MEN ….WE LOVE A TRUTH TELLER ALWAYS .
This is the most honest video I’ve heard concerning men. Thank you for this
I appreciate you took the time to leave such a lovely comment.
Who are the mothers or fathers raising such sons (men)?
You are talking about worldly ungodly men... Maybe even the majority of men but not men of God who are not self immersed and look for ways to bless, lift, and love others.
This momma raised two good Godly men alone and then remarried and two selfish sons with my second self consumed spouse.
The real harsh reality is this... Your myopic view leaves little hope for women who love men. You are talking about selfish self consumed men who leave a trail of heartache and are never truly happy or content. Instead of talking about what women need to understand about men why don't you talk to men about how they can understand themselves and build a life of serving others instead of waiting for others to serve them. My father's life was all about service and he was one of the happiest men I've ever known.
The difference between boy-mothers and girl-mothers tells the tale. Same as for a man, I never fully trust a woman with sons she dotes on, always something really sinister about it. Shakespeare was right.
In this video he spoke the common traits and reactions of men that good women should avoid in general. It's sadly common that many men fits the description listed in modern society. I believe this video helps women in doubt of their relationships to make right choice of leaving.
So it's not very little hope for women, but better hope for future by get rid of unworthy users!
@@antinutjobs 'good' women? That there says all that need be said about user. Beware of men who rank women and abide by the Madonna/Whore dichotomy.
Im going to say those were not harsh realities of men it was the truth.i have subscribed to your channel because literally every single word you say is spot on.thank you for enlighting us women it's greatly appreciated! Positivity peace and love ♥️
Ladies live your life. Don't compromise for a man.
#4 is EXACTLY what happened to me! I'm a new subscriber and I feel like everything I've heard from your channel so far is spot on. I got married at 24 and helped my ex husband through VERY difficult times. I thought that we struggled and came up together but it seems as though as soon as we were doing well he cheated w/other girls and didn't even care when I left. I was devastated for a long time bc I felt like I was loyal and a super good partner and it felt like a real betrayal. 2yrs later I'm doing alot better but I feel like I probably need to seriously evaluate and change myself for the better so as to attract better more compatible men when/if I ever get into a relationship...
Facts!💯 In no contact with a Sag now, he’s a good f-boy and NOTHING more. He was a complete waste of time. What a joke! SMDH
Mine had 6 gf’s , loser
You taught me every lesson I need to learn about men in just 9 minutes. If I didn't watch your video, I will have to experience all of them to learn the lesson. And I already met one guy that is the type you mentioned in the video. Now, I know my worth. I won't commit to any men I think nice guys because they are real red flags. You will never see their true faces cuz they are too good at hiding them.
I am so glad we are getting to the point where we are leaving men absolutely lonely. Please get it together.
You're glad about making other people feel lonely?
Thank you for always keeping it real no matter how harsh the truth can be at times. 🙏 ♥
Insecure men will get yours shine ✨️
Ansolutely then they go on & on & on & keep pulling you down - over everything thing you say or do or are.Twisted.Dont bother with them.
My father way back in 1927 met my mother and had eyes only for her. They married jn 1929, had 3 children. Until my mother went to be with the Lord 1971. I married in 1963 after 30 years of marriage my husband said to me .... there is no one better than you. We were married 47 years until he went to be with the Lord. No stupid business about being bored. Just two
people, meaning what they say and saying what they mean. People today...... one little thing. Pack up and leave. Shallow
and meaningless. They have not a clue what marriage means. How serious it id to take your vows before Almighty God..
never ever to be broken.
This is the kind of marriage my Grandparents had. They took vows more seriously than many do today.
They went through difficult times in life, both before and during the marriage. I think it made them appreciate good times and true devotion to each other. They experienced WW2, escaping from it, and coming to America, and building a good life from scratch. Having a fight and dropping each other over something trivial seemed, for them, to be a completely absurd and immature notion.
@@joanneblack7697 my parents went thtough world war I and Ii. We did not have much. Had a good meal, Godly parents and a warm loving home. From nothing my both brothers were brilliant, got bursaries, graduated BSc. MSc PHd MBA
and became leaders. My one brother saw the carnage in dry dock of the ships caused by salt and set about looking for a solution to this ptoblem. He worked on it for a long time and developed a paint that no salt water would have an effect on and so it is. Used all over the world. When a man and woman fell in love. He would ask permission from the Father, ask the lady. They got engaged, married in church. Devoted to one another. Marriage is a very serious blood covenant before the Lord.
Girls were virgins. No thought ever of divorce. No slutting around. A wedding ring was highly respected. No man or
woman would think of ever going there. Today, bloke after bloke. Woman after woman. Lust not love. Love is a decision. You take that decision before the Lord God. It is very serious. You do not vow to a person. You vow to Almighty God. God richly bless you!
There was no fighting in the house. If you truly love someone, do you want to pick fights? No. I was married 47 years. My eldest son said to me. Mom, I don't ever remember any fights in our home. There was respect. I bet your Grandmother
respected your Grandfather. Selfishness... unheard of. Men took up as leaders, were Godly. Took their families to church. Reverenced the Lord.
Thanks for your comment. The more I listened to this video the more hopelss & discouraged I felt about having a good marriage ( I'm unmarried) or dating/ relationship. What you made me realize is that this is the world's perspective and way of being in marriage and relationships and that God's way is always best and he is always able to bring change to any person or situation and that my future marriage can work if I commit it to him. I needed to hear your experience because this video was getting heavy!
@@TheElephantInTheRoom12 the first thing you must do is repent of all sin and then say Lord Jesus, I am a sinner and I need a Saviour. I now know you are the Saviour of the whole world. All those that will accept God's plan of Salvation and that
is the finished work of the CROSS. PRAY THIS...I ACCEPT YOU LORD JESUS AS MY PERSONAL SAVIOUR AND I BELIEVE THE BLOOD OF JESUS, GOD'S SON, CLEANSES ME FROM ALL SIN, I AM NOW BORN AGAIN, JOHN 3 V 3 I AM A CHILD,OF GOD. ROMANS 10 V 9 AND 10. THANK YOU FATHER FOR BRINGING ME INTO THE FAMILY,OF GOD IN JESUS NAME AMEN!
Father God, I ask and thank you for my wife. I want your choice for me. A Godly girl or if you are a girl, a Godly man.
You’re definitely my favourite coach, so smart, rational, empathetic and realistic!
Also loved that you mentioned the point about X-rated content cause it’s so true! And harmful to the brain and interpersonal relationships 🙏
Thanks for this video and all your others, bless you 🌸🌻
Your comment made me smile. I appreciate you.
the sad state of our current masculinity
I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing about your beautiful experience.
Yep 100% fact
Is there something wrong with masculinity?? Sorry if I sound dumb
#4 was the first point that really resonated w/me personally but after watching the whole video I'll just say that I may be saving this video to possibly show to my daughters in the future when/if I really need to talk to them about guys and then let them hear what I'm saying from a guy! This video is spot on!
I love that everything is short, concise and to the point!
It is a mistake painting men as all the same. I’ve never known a man that “valued freedom” as you put described. I have found them to be quite clingy. I am an Aquarius so perhaps I just want more “freedom” than men. 😹
My husband definitely valued freedom
What kind of men are you attracted to date? Their traits (besides clingy?) I need to find those love language through touch men.
I personally believe unconditional love exists for the good people.
Ismael ... every point you've covered is true. I am 40+ now, and these things are now obvious. At age 18 to 25, they weren't. What your Abuela says is so true!
Number 3, absolutely true. Best to leave this type of relationship immediately rather than try to "work on it". This is a slow moving train wreck that will drain you if you stay. And it WILL wreck!
Also, "chasers" ... how right you are! They are not chasing you because YOU are such a wonderful woman ... rather, this type of man loves "the thrill of the chase". And once the conquest is made ... game over. Young women ... please don't be fooled by this type and think the "passionate" chase is about YOU. It's really just about him ... a certain type of guy.
Everything on your list is true. This does not mean that ladies should "lose all hope" and begin to "despair". It just means please be discerning. And do not believe that life, relationships and people in general will be the way things are portrayed in Fairy Tales and Rom Coms. 👍🏼
Thank you kindly, you’re a blessing.
54 year old here, the last one is pure gold truth and somebody should really write a book about it, because is a hugh and deep thing worth analysing and discussing to finally learn and accept it young ladies.
This is gold. Thank you!
Absolutely spot on!!
I have two very handsome male buddies who are chasers. Women will talk to me about how they know they are the one because they are chasing them .... Meanwhile, I try to gently explain that this is just their usual play. One is now 50 - he's been married 8 times .... He has never stayed faithful longer than the end of his honeymoon.
Married 8 times? That sounds intense.
Smh.
#4 exactly matches my situation. Ismael is really really respect your suggestions
God bless this man for warning women about man despite being a man.
This is just full of facts. Thank you so much.
There's so much to learn even if you're single or mingle.
This is honestly true from what I've heard from most of my woman peers and elders.
For example my grandma's story. Before she married her husband, my grandpa's upbringing was not of a wealthy household but my grandma is in middle class, and she chose to love him dearly. That was before my grandpa got rich that he started to get attention because of his money. What does my grandpa do about it? Brag, boast, drink, and sleep with other woman. When my grandma found out about it, she's obviously devastated and outraged.
The most pitiable thing about it is that my grandma was forced to live with that wretched excuse of a man in the present. As in forced is that she has no other means of escaping, truly sad.
My first time watching your content, and I appreciated what you had to say, and your delivery of it!
That's very sweet of you. Thanks.
Truth is misery loves company and if a man or woman is failing, they will want to be around others who feel the same. Thus this video and thread. You're all fine, you don't need a guy with a opinion to tell you who you are.
There really isn't unconditional love other than an infants and puppies but they are also taught good behavior.
Wonderful advice. I've seen it all. You are spot on.
Thank you for the video ❤️🙏🏻
I'm glad you found my video helpful.
Number 3 is my favorite because that kinda happened to me. Now I’m working on me and I can tell he misses me
Wow the most objective analysis I ever saw...u effortlessly put across every word so well...I hv learned something Abt insecured men pulling down my shine.....
I'm glad my video spoke to you.
Thank you very much 😊🙏. This was very helpful. As an inexperienced person in relationships and insecure person i ve made a lot of mistakes like chasing guys and being too initiative. But now i realise i wasn t right. I guess it was all because of my anxious attachment style. Thank you for helping people. Wish you and your channel more success and love n support.❤
My guy is good in all aspects and we go along well the only issue is the No.8... he is lost for his future which leads dissatisfaction from my side since i can feel it completely when he is saying: "im there for his relaxation but not inspiration " ... its been 3.5 years i don't know what to do😢
Thanks for the info!
I am so glad you mentioned the bad influence of x-rated videos on young people. I believe they damage their brains with such content as well as their perception on human relationships.
All you said is correct. People search for security on the partners so yes the truth is a bit cruel. Romantic love happens in novels, life and reality have no "and they lived happily every after".
Everyday is a battle and if you are alone is difficult but imagine how it is if you also carry the weight of a family.
We all need to rethink our overall criteria considering human relationships I guess. Right now everything goes wrong.
Thank you dear. 🌹
My problem is that everytime i come through a guy who has some of the qualities im looking for he is either low or mid interested in me
Thank you for this , he always says that im the toxic one always hurt him he is the loyal one from the start but when i told him that you did wrong at this point he always move from that topic and comes to me . He have already fixed my brain that I'm toxic as a result i even accepted that im really bad but before him i was not like this i was happy even without him actually he is the trouble
My goodness
I never knew a lot
Both of my big brothers (apparently) made sure not one guy would approach me
I found that out in my 30’s
I was so mad at first but,
I simply love them for what THEY thought was their station as my older brothers
Harsh life never knowing love (all the this and thats) in younghood
Super unbelievably passionately thankful now forever
i love how this is straight to the point
I say definitely look out for all these signs. Run if he shows no improvement too.
Thank You So Much Dear ! 🙏🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️♥️
Thanks to the 3rd harsh truth, I was sent for councelling and then diagnosed with fancy mental illness. I was foolish to go back and expect change yet the blame was put on my mental illness for trying to stand up for myself and not comply to his dehumanising whims.
Years of abuse couldn't be summarised in a day but I let him know how destructive he has been and what sort of heinous monster he has turned to in my story. I'm seething with rage as I write this and want to unblock him and make him go through the same pain or at least let him know in details but... Some things aren't meant to go this way... I seldom have hard time but came to accept that trying to give him a piece of my mind would only be destructive for me. I'll fall back to old patterns and won't have time to heal as it'd make me relive the abuse all over again.
All in all, I've grown apathetic towards him so only rationalisation helps me... He's a human with insecurity, that's what he could do to feel safe and never exactly considered how debilitating it could be for other person. Welp, I don't fkin care about that... I treat it as a reminder that I ought to build self esteem, respect, confidence and self worth in me and not try to find it in other's words. Like any other time, here goes my trauma dumping.
My original comment was supposed to be : let's just turn aroace or homo... Since our sex alone can understand eachother without words.
Interesting. Thank you for sharing :)
If women would only start to see themselves as Queens or Goddesses, everything would change.
WRONG!!! Wrong, wrong wrong wrong.. Or at the very least, if you want to be a Queen, then treat your man like a King. Likewise for god status. Beware of your North American cultural bias. Then imagine you are the opposite sex.. hard isn't it? You want a partnership of equals who respect and love each other, even with inevitable differences of opinion or taste, etc.
@@francesdonald8743 I never said you shouldn`t treat your man like a king. ;-)
I think all these 13 are probabilities not facts, so to be realistic, we as women need to consider them as common male. Behaviors but not a definite one
I certainly hope that you are correct
Because honestly he is making all men seem incapable of loving a woman in the way that she actually needs.
@@UnashamedCaliforniagirlThats one thing I felt off about the video. Yeah stuff that he explains in the video does happen which ofc sucks. But it doesnt mean that all men have these characteristics (maybe some, maybe none) or all men are the same. Cant really generalize all people just from someone telling you abt men or just some personal experience. Generalizing a group is rather bias and stereotyping them which is more likely inaccurate and can be harmful. For sure, truly know the man that you have some kind of interest in before getting into a relationship and be realistic about it. Consider their flaws if youre able to put up with it, make sure youre actually mentally ready, and other things to think abt. Hope this helps somewhat
Thank you❤
I asked him what he wanted with me/intentions and he said: “I want to get to know you” and yet we’ve known each other for 15 years and reconnect every few years!
I was head over heels for a man who I ,frankly, was way out of his league. He would make jabbing comments sometimes I would dismiss until one day he said I had "goat teeth". What an absolute bizarre thing to say, it didn't even offend me just made me laugh! especially when my teeth are one of my best physical assets. I get compliments on my smile frequently. That's when I realized he was #3 An insecure man will destroy you!! TIP: Write down the red flags like this ladies!! You will dismiss it in your gaga state but he said what he said! ALSO most importantly only TIME will tell you who a man is, and his ACTIONS. So take it slooow and see what he DOES only.
as a woman, I love him unconditionally, and yes here I am still waiting for him to comeback even if there's no chance, I just can't see myself loving the next man to come in my life to love him the way I have loved this man I kept waiting for
When the right man comes into your life, you will laugh with disdain at the time when you were torn apart by a man who broke you and you thought he was true love
Thank you
Thank you🙏
Much appreciated 🙌
Alot of people need to especially hear #2
how helpful and valuable your advices are, thank you for your good warning to all women, I have heard majority of your advices, but I indeed need people remind me regularly about these advices, that might be true for most women too.
It all depends on the stage of life. Men in their 20s are not the same in their 50s.
TY 4 this
Sooo true. Thanks
This might seem random
but...
I CANNOT
stop obsessing and ruminating
and I have absolutely nobody to talk to about this
and I need to get it off my chest
(and I'm also willing to read responses,
if anyone feels called to respond...)
I had a HORRIBLE therapist
HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE
the worst
but here's the thing...
it's twofold:
1) he's wildly successful
(and I can't for the life of me figure out why or how)
2) I saw him for almost all of 2023,
I was so traumatized when I went to see him,
that I just kept going,
because I had nowhere else to turn...
In the end, he really fucked me up.
Instead of helping me, he traumatized me further.
It's over 7 months now,
and I can't stop obsessing over how he's traumatized me,
and all the money I wasted, etc. etc.
I can file a formal complaint.
But the process seems long and arduous,
and brings me no particular benefits...
It's just that I can use my voice,
and he can potentially get reprimanded...
(Also, it's all just his word against mine!)
But if I do this I have to do it soon...
I don't know what to do?
Any thoughts, anyone?