How To Disconnect From Negative People With Kindness - Lisa Nichols
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- čas přidán 9. 09. 2024
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The Lisa Nichols show is a place where you can come at any given time to get the step by step tools you need to live the life that you want. In this episode, Lisa talks about why it is important to disconnect from negative people using kindness.
Now... This is not just a monologue, it's a dialogue. Make sure to share your thoughts below in the comments and subscribe to this channel and look out for more amazing content every week!
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Hi Lisa. My favorite plus one when I go through a “complete relationship” is to be grateful . My true words are:
1. I am grateful for the memories and laughter you have built with me.
2. I am proud of the person you are- I focused on the traits I admired him for.
3. I am honored to have the opportunity to love from my heart.
However:.
1. I feel we have grown to be different people now, and this is not working.
2. I want us to end before we make something that was so beautiful ugly.
3. We meet people for a reason and a season sometimes, and now I chose for this season to be over, while we still respect each other. Bcz we are not working anymore as a couple/friend, and it’s absolutely okay. Memories were made and lessons were learnt . :).
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Thank you Lisa. I am proud of you for two reasons. First, you could make it. Second, you want everyone to make it.
Yes!!!!!
Yes! Yes!!
I have always struggled to tell people they're affecting me in a negative way without hurting them. Cuz I do love and appreciate these people. So usually I just end up in a toxic situation or I just cut them off completely.
This video has truly been life changing. It's really reassuring to hear from another person that there's a way to talk and keep someone's dignity intact! Thanks! Love you!
Same here I'm asking God for strength to help me do this. I had to unlearn the opinion that addressing a negative relationship would make me seem judgmental. Some relationships are seasonal and have reached their time to be complete. I'm praying for us. We got this in Jesus' name!
Thank you. My best friend, whom I’ve been friends with for 21 years has recently expressed some beliefs that I are just painful. I want to detach from her, but I want to do so compassionately because I love her. Thank you for this video.
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I love the fact that I can be complete in the relationship instead of so cold and cut throat about it. It helps me respect, and still add value to the person as well as myself. Thank you.
Lisa, you are a breath of fresh air in a polluted environment and I thank you 🙏
My biggest BOL is listening to my gut feeling and going with it. I ended a short term friendship that felt super toxic early on and with the little info I knew about them I made it a compassionate break up. They ended up reacting negatively about it. This is first time I didn’t go into freaking out for hurting their feelings mode. I would doubt myself and back track and then ask for their forgiveness just for someone else’s sake. We would then be fake friends and I’d feel worse about the relationship because I didn’t do what was best for me. This is huge growth for me because now I can make more room for myself to breathe without entertaining someone I don’t want to pour into. Thank you very much for sharing this tool with me. Now I know how to complete relationships with confidence and ease.
Needed this! I have been transforming how I want to go into my romantic relationships after divorce and I wanted to find ways to kindly bring up hard topics. ♥️ After being verbally abused, I tend to get reactive. I’m going to practice this to regain control over how I treat others. From a place of calm strength, not loud fear.
As usual this is right on time. There are a few in my life who I love dearly, however I realize they've become anchors instead of engines. Clinging to me to always be the one pulling them along, but have become comfortable dragging their legs, while Ive been doing all the pulling.
Wondering how to release them in love
Kasey Tucker ...👏👏👏👍
Wow! Kasey. That's deep. I hear Oprah and Steve Harvey talk about this very thing. Are they helping or do they have their feet up while you're doing all the pulling (the work). Tough conversations had to be had but Lisa definitely provided such a great tool to use. Good luck and wishing you the best.
Kasey Tucker ~ I totally relate! I have always been a “yes” girl. I am the first one to step up, embrace, advocate, support whether emotionally or financially to helping. With that being said, what I’ve come to realize is that sometimes I wasn’t really helping because the lesson to be learned was theirs.
I can relate to that. What I have learnt is that BOUNDARIES are crucial. Setting boundaries for them to respect our space, but most important setting boundaries for us , to refrain ourselves. The challenge is to recognize when we are, realistically, intruding in people's lives, crossing inadvertently THEIR own boundaries, even when we have the best intentions, and we think it is for their own good. Sometimes, unconsciously and voluntarily, we take their burdens away and end up carrying them on our shoulders. It is even worse if we want them to avoid experiencing certain emotions. They need to experience them anyway, that is life 101. It is part of their journey. Best luck!
Omg! I needed this soooooooo badly! I have a hard time letting go of relationships that need to come to an end. Or when I do end it, it's usually a result of a major blow up. Now I know how to maturely handle a let down. Thank you Lisa!
WOW! Awesome way to treat someone to keep them from walking away feeling less than.
Lisa - all I can say is WOW, WOW, and another WOW. I am a very kind and loving type of person, so these types of conversations are usually challenging for me to have as I never want to hurt anyone in the process. In the past, I usually just have told the person that I need some space and in time the relationship eventually dissolved. But your +3 approach is wonderful and allows the person to still be with dignity, even after you deem the relationship "complete". Love this. Adding this to my spiritual vault! You are wonderful and so appreciate you and all your inspiration throughout the years. Blessings!! :)
This conversation is great for leaving a job. Gratitude speaks volume
This video left me broken, in a good way, broke my old ways of leaving a toxic relationship with grudges and hurt. Now I know how to leave a relationship without any hate. 😊
SO TIMELY...I NEED IT RIGHT NOW GOD KNOWS...I’ve become the targeted object of a manipulator’s agenda and am being made an enemy in my home
Until I started working on me I really never knew how many toxic people were around me🙏
Thank you... I'm going to try this with my husband.
Like seriously! I think Lisa can help you out resolve any issues you have with him. There are some people you shouldn't cut off. Unless all available ways to resolve the problems have been exhausted. Try.
Dee Mccullers yes so true....I'm going to try this as well with my husband
This is the PERFECT template I need to leave my job today. I recently realized that not everyone has to be my cup of tea but it doesn't make them bad or my enemy. I'm glad I have this technique for today as I lovingly completed this relationship that was there for me when I most needed it, but no longer serves me at this juncture.
Needed this.... I've learn to realize there's some persons I just have to love from a distance...just didn't know how to come out and let them know
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Lisa, I'm so fired up watching and hearing you speak. I was a volunteer parent counsellor to young students. After that stint, I had been going around schools to motivate students. I so love your speeches. Love you.
I’ve just turned 19 and within my 19 years of life I’ve never heard someone speak from love the way Lisa does. I was angry and upset but after hearing Lisa speak I want to be able to love myself and others the way she loves herself and others
I watched you many years ago Lisa and everything you said resonated with me, but it was missing one key aspect for me, the acknowledgment of God, not the universe, but God. I realised the relationship that needed attention was not the one I had with myself, but the relationship I had with God. God recently led me to watch a video of yours and I heard you mention God, and that made my heart rejoice! This was the missing factor for me when I watched you so many years ago. It took some time before I realised God was what I was really searching for. However your teachings were such a blessing at that stage of my life. Thank you for helping me change my mindset, I look nothing like the person I used to be, and I know the best is yet to come. I can now relate all of these principles back to the bible, it has strengthened my faith and given me a sense of freedom that I could never have imagined before. I’m so happy to be listening to you again, I feel God is moving me into another season and I can’t wait to see the plan unfold 😊🙏
‘I didn’t understand all of it’...this is what I love about you. You’re real and you’re not pretending to to be someone you’re not. It makes you so relatable
I just started doing Personal Development. I have a health coach, and I started Herbalife to change my lifestyle. I LOVE listening to you every morning!
Thanks Lisa, I enjoy listening to you! I have higher self esteem now putting myself first,not feeling guilty my children are grown it's my time to live, buy a house, start a business, travel.I just love your life story very powerful! Thanks 😊👍
Hello Lisa this is what i needed to hear...i've sat here all day trying to figure out how to talk to my daughter after our argument. I prayed to God earlier to speak to me and through me...this is right on time...thanks my sister in Christ
OMG! I love this! This method is so classy. I like the idea of not leaving brain splatter on the ceiling.
This came at the PERFECT time!!! I've been worrying myself for 3 days thinking of how to end a friendship. I over explain and most times think about how they will be hurt instead of foing what's best for me. I have to put my needs as a priority. I will definitely be using this !!! Thank you Lisa
Thanks for this tool! I've been trying to find something to complete a relationship with a co worker that is difficult to deal. I choose not to release anymore of my personal life just keep it work related.
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I’ve had to have a conversation with my co worker in the past about his attitude towards me on the job . I waited till after our trip and discreetly had a chat .
By then things had calmed down and I approached him with the right attitude and he actually apologized and said he’ll do better 🙏
Most people can’t help themselves and I’ve learnt to not take on their toxic energy - it’s not my responsibility 🎉
See why I love this woman. She teaches me something new everyday. Thank you so much for keeping me growing stronger and stronger. +3Me yayyy!
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This video echoes a message I heard a long time ago, and didn't really understand until I started working on myself, the saying is " When everything is alright with me, I don't need to make you wrong".
I'm with Gratitude to Receive your Prosperity, Abundance and most importantly, your Inspiration! Thank you Lisa ❤...
BOL: Thank you so much Lisa now I know how to start the conversation off when I want to end my relationship. That way he will know the things I did appreciate about him.
As i sat here thinking about that convo that i need to have with him, i began to feel the hurt and agrivation. So i decided to uplift myself with youtube like usual. Found your vid! Just what i needed, when i needed it. I was dreading how i will feel after. Now i know i will feel empowered and will be able to let him go to his higher journey, whatever that may be. Doesnt universe have an amazing way of delivering what we ask for?! Lisa, you have an amazing gift with words and i thank my God for you. Thank you for course correcting me... again!!!
Thank you Lisa. The episode how to complete a relationship in a healthy way helped me move on from one that did not serve me anymore. I liked your qoute" when you are completing a relationship, leave that person dignity alone" Alleluia!!! Did I learn from that? Thank you Lisa. I am so thankful that I had you to guide me through it. Lisa you have disrupted me soul and I am on the move to search for a new me. I watched one of your episode where you where talking about the difference between showing a story in and telling a story. Ohhh Boy !!! I learned so much from that. You asked " what is your story ? Are you ready to share your story ? If not what are you waiting for" I felt like you knew exactly what was going on in my mind because I have a juicy story and did not know where to start. I have been podcasting because of fear . I need you Lisa Nichols. I am your tribe now. Yeeeeehhhh!!!! I look forward to walk through it with you. I feel like I worn a jackpot today because I am able to write to you. I have been watching you for a while now and l thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone. Thank you for encouraging me to dream . Thank you for teaching me how to comfortable being different in the crow. Thank you for teaching me how to fall madly of me. Love you Lisa Nichols. I can not wait to meet with you someday.
I am seeing this video 4 years after the fact…and the timing is perfect. You have equipped me with a tool that I can use to have those hard conversations that I usually avoid.
Once again thank you Lisa. I needed this video some months ago when I decided to end x2 relationships that were not serving me and was unhealthy for me.
I thought it was kinder to stop communication than destroy the individuals with my words.
Trust me I knew I had grown even then because a year ago or two, I would not have thought about leaving their dignity in tact. So the way I dealt with the situation was much kinder than what I would have done years ago.
However, I now know that I have a better tool to help me bring closure, if I ever need to do so again. Often that’s just it we don’t know what tools to use but we do know we need to exit the relationship ASAP. Again, thank you🙏🏾 🙏🏾🙏🏾
Thank you so much, Lisa, for this profound wisdom and insight of ending relationships in a graceful way! Definitely it is a path of communication that I am going to take from now on! Thank you! The last time when I really needed this kind of advice was very recently when I ended up a relationship with a person for whom I had sincere feelings but from his side was the desire to be only friends with sometimes benefits. I needed to learn how to walk away from people that no longer bring me happiness, who don't appreciate me, who treat me in a way that I know I don't deserve and etc. The letting go process of this person happened very harshly with "I just cannot be your friend. I have feelings and there is nothing wrong with that. If you don't share them, fair point. But I am Done tolerating your bullshit behavior towards me." Since that moment on he vanished for me and I ignored his existence as much as possible. It was very hard because we were living and working together at that time... Thank you again for this amazing strategy how to make the ending process smoother and less painful! :)
Lisa, you are a beautiful soul, a true gift from God!
I needed this a few months ago +3 is a simple but yet effective way to not damage any relationship.
A friend shared this video with me and I sorely needed it. "Leave their dignity intact. That's what you owe, not them, but that's what you owe the person you've committed to being." Thank you Sister. Peace and prosperity to you.
i think i hold onto the past too tightly, and i don’t want to lose who they were to me in the past. but i have to move forward or i’ll be left behind. and that makes me cry. but thank you for these words
Hellos Lisa, I began watching you because someone I met said that I reminded them of you. I have heard this more than once, so I hade to view your videos and see what the fuss was about. I LOVE YOU, and every time I see you, it makes me cry, I cry because I do see me, because you show me what is possible, because you have walked over the coals of fire and healed your feet against defeat. Thank you for keeping me inspired to be the best me, so that I can continue inspiring other women to be their best. YOU ARE AMAZING !!! BTW, me and the lady who introduced me to you are now best friends.
Lisa you’re a truly a earth Angel 👼 for all of us .
Omgggggg I got the ding on my phone and immediately came to watch... was not disappointed! The universe knows exactly what I'm going through and how I needed this. Thank you Lisa ...and team, you are like a fairy god mother to me 💜 +3 all the way!
J C I felt the same way ! #yana
Me too I feel the same
I needed this a long time ago. I'm always at a loss for how to talk with people. Just breaking things off with the spouse after realizing what I've always seen was fated and not something that could be changed. Narcissists are very damaged people. Too bad since I've been with this one life times. But I realized he is teaching me certain things.
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I love this!!
I am complete. I will use this for now on.
Thank you.
This is what I love about Lisa. She is real. In the beginning of this video there was background noise and I LOVE her response. She wasn't interested in making it a perfect noise free recording, her focus was her MESSAGE. This small gesture is why I love listening to her, she is an authentic woman. 🥰
The relationship is complete. Wow! Life changing
Hi Lisa, Every day is a work in progress. Although this topic is a huge pill to swallow, surely it's a lesson learned. The norm for me was, folks seem to not quite understand that once I turn the page, I have already put a period on that chapter. Done is Done. Yet they still think all is well. Unbelievable!!! Thank you kindly for shining light on a more effective way to communicate and still love them from a very longgggg distance. You're AWESOME, LISA! Thank you! Many Blessings!
I found you Lisa about two years ago and I started listening to all your speaches online. It has been an on going progress since and at some time it's hard as I am alone on the battle but I keep going. In so many aspects I found as you would be me and lived my life. I want to send you my big appreciation for all support you gave me by publishing your shows and others. Thank you so much. Jola
Lisa when you said leave their dignity intact i said ouch, tears started rolling down my eyes. I know that God was speaking that word to me.
I needed this life lesson at this very moment in my life. I now know how to leave a person whole when you walk away.
I just love you sis! In doing this... I realise that leaving people's dignity intact keeps the friendship on even if its from a distance...
Plus 3 them (what I love, respect and appreciate/honour about you) and speak my truth in love (what I have recognized is that I am complete with this relationship as there are parts of the relationship that are not working for me. I realise I would like to love you from a distance and I would like that distance to begin now). I'm grateful to see that I have used this technique before. It's very important that I leave people with the dignity intact without feeling like I'm not speaking truth. I am grateful for this lesson Lisa.
I'm currently reading 7 habits of highly effective people. I bought it again because I have new audible. This time around, I absorbed the content very well. That was your recommendation so thank you. I working on my circle of influence and interdependence. Interdependence is something I'm trying to learn so I can be a stronger me this next season.
I know what you mean about cutting people off haha 😂. I'm the queen of that. I've written a prayer for the exact type of friends I'm looking for this next season. I believe in the power of my words both spoken and written.
Thank you for teaching me how to cut people off more graciously. Currently, I don't have too many in my circle so I'm ready to add people and build a tribe.
I relate that reading “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens” was easier to digest compared to “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”! Spot on with your comment Lisa!
It may help other adults to be directed to reading material that is easier to understand who would otherwise give up or walk away with little comprehension.
Thank you Lisa Nichols for your love and support. You always give good advice and you want everyone to succeed. You are the best ❤️💖💝
Thank you Lisa, I have so needed this. I have a family member, that I have to talk with, and did not know how, so I was just avoiding and it was stressing me out to the point of anxiety. This is such a better way to approach the situation . Treating people with love, respect, is the way I want to operate
Thanks. This was exactly what I needed. You don’t have to hurt anybody but just being yourself instead pretending. Dignity intact
Thank you for the 3 steps. I have been needing this technique. This entire episode was a #bol especially leaving people with their #dignityintact. I think I just grew up a little more. I appreciate you and your team.
The first video today I got from CZcams was this video I needed it so badly...thank you for making me gain my consciousness about what I am doing and what I should be doing.....
Thank you so much Lisa, it can be difficut to walk away when there's still love. We have to elevate to become our greatest version. When we elevate dynamics and interests may change.
Thank you for this! This a BOL for me. Just because a relationship is no longer a fit for me or is not helping me grow, that doesn't mean that the person is bad or wrong. Development and growth are hard and a lot of people will not do them. I have a person in my social circle that I need to do this with, and now I have the tools
I love you and believe in YOU! Thank you for your service to humanity.
Thank you for that! Leave their dignity in tact. Yes Yes!
Lisa....I went full blown ego over the weekend with my husband...knowing I was in it and not recalling a single tool to help me out of it lovingly or with dignity for us both...I received the email this morning with the link to this episode of your show and knew it was intended for me...I watched it twice already and took notes...while I don't know that I have made the decision to be complete with my marriage, what I do know is that I must have a dignified conversation with him. This Plus 3 Me gives me the tool and framework for having that conversation with him. I am grateful for the support that you and your team share with me from afar. I feel very isolated on this journey of starting my own business and the challenges and sabotage shows up in the most insidious ways...with much gratitude and love...Phil
Such a healthy way to let of toxic relationships. Thank you ms. Lisa, I appreciate you 💜
I've found myself having a lot of Benihana conversations this week! Thank you for this video because I need to have complete my relationship with my best friend Monday and this will be a very helpful tool.
This is wonderful. I am so glad I have continued content here. I have been rewatching talks of yours on youtube for at least a year now. My aha moment that I am taking into the new year with me is to leave every conversation ensuring the person you are talking to has there dignity intact. I think why that resonates with me is because I can apply it to every single conversation and not just hard ones. And that includes conversations with myself.
Have a happy and prosperous new year lovelies. I am over joyed to join the tribe.
I watched a video of a mother who forgave her son's killer (who was also a teenaged boy) and hugged him in court, stating that she wants joy for him. This video reminds me of that. We don't forgive negative people for them, we do it for ourselves so that we can release ourselves from the invisible chains that bind us to them and let them go with love, so that they can become better people and so that we can be free
The universe (God) sent this straight to me! I'm going thru a seperation and needed this soo badly! I love my partner but I feel it's best that we be friends from a distance.
Lisa, I just wanted to thank you for giving me the wisdom and the strength to leave an abusive and toxic 26 year marriage. Thanks to your words 20 months ago I had the courage to move out. He is still a part of my life and while things are better he continues to control and abuse me. BUT, thanks again to you, TODAY I found the words to say that I realize it is time for our relationship to end. That I love, Respect and Appreciate everything he is doing for me and has done for me. I said there are great things in our relationship but the toxic things out weigh the good.
Thank you for doing what you do. TODAY I began a new chapter in my life.
Thank you SO much for this video!! I have a friendship that has definitely served its purpose and I feel complete with it. I have not wanted to take the cowardly way out of just not responding to her anymore but I haven't been able to figure out how to let her know. This is absolutely beautiful and is so much more in alignment with who I am. It's hard to complete a friendship, and I feel better knowing I can do it leaving her dignity in tact. Truly, thank you Lisa!!!
Plus three me, yes amen!!! MMM! So much love and truth.
So very powerful with excellent timing!!! I so needed this. I am healed of needing to take this step but not knowing how. The 3-steps places the c in class with pulling away from completed relationships with everyone fulfilled and healthy and complete. Thank you Lisa.......God Bless you my dear.
This is unrelated, but your skin is flawless!
I am truly grateful for this lesson Lisa Nichols I will apply this to my life with family and friends along with my personal self -development journey.
The +3 leaving someone’s dignity in take!
This is what I’ve been needing to hear . Never knew how to end relationships in a calm manner. Thank you !
Thank you for the plus+3me. Doing that does make sense. I always say put yourself in that person shoes and I agree by all means they'll still have dignity. The negative-3 leads to anger, hatred, strife and bitterness. Thanks again for the empowerment..keep it coming!
I am listening to this for the second time, I was fortunate to let go of a toxic relationship with my "friend" using your tips. I am free. Thank you sooo much Lisa.
I can complete a relationship,While withholding the dignity of the other person.
Plus 3's😊
Lisa you are the real definition of Unapologetic Brilliance 😘😘😘
Just clicked, but I already know you’re a messenger. Your videos are speaking to my situation down to a T. Thanks for your obedience in delivering this message
You are a dynamic woman. Such a great inspiring lady to watch and listen to!! Thank you!!!
My God. I wish I'd heard this advice before now, thank you for this important lesson. This is a skill I want my children to learn, too, for their future relationships, and the best way to teach them is to role model.
My sistah from another mista.. Yes, YES! Neutral to 3- 3 to neutral. COMPLETE AND AFFIRMED! thank you so very much! this really helps me in being an effective communicator as an employee, mother, family member.
Thanks Lisa. I love the way you deliver simple truths. Priceless. Have an amazing journey in this life and the next. Blessed.
I am so glad you shared that technique with us.I'll be certainly using it as it makes challenging talks easier to have adding positive notes. And having them without anyone feeling downgraded and not love. I am grateful for your videos, Thank you, Lisa.
BOL !!! This message was delivered with dignity ; since I have never had to be cut off I didn’t know how to cut ppl off , it would always start with how this isn’t working for me or my spirit just doesn’t sit well with .... but building someone up so they don’t feel like trash make a better translation and transition so you don’t burn a bridge
I am committed to employing this technique in my life. I have and continue to struggle with negativity towards myself and this is released outward in my relationships. I am so thankful my spirit lead me you this video Lisa and that you are able to empower me with a strategy that I'm excited to try. Life continues to happen and it gets hard in the moments to think clearly sometimes. So thank you for an example of leading with love for yourself and others.
I have grown a little more in this moment. I’m am discovering my 360 abundance lately and these 11mins could have very well just saved my relationship. As I watch you and grow on my journey with the secret, I feel myself reaching a place that I fear some of my friendships will have to be completed. Thank you for showing me how to complete my relationships with love and truth.
Hi Lisa, I am from Gabon and even here you're heard. I enjoy listening to you. I am in the self-building process so when I came across your video about how you have got to the top with steeve Marley, that was powerful and life-changing since that day I have put on my wall some pieces of paper in order to keep myself going by reading this all the time ( I give myself a thousands of second chances). What I found so amazing about you a part from having an african Accent you are totally true and everything comes from the bottom of your heart. I think before speaking about life-changing step or deserving more out of live we should appreciate first who we are and forgive ourselves. The process is complicated the reason why I subscribed to your dynamic channel and watch some of your insightful videos. Thanks again and I will always be there.
Lisa, this video so blessed me! I not only need to apply this technique in my own life, but I will be sharing it in my group. This right here, is Godly wisdom!
Wow, I did all the wrong thing in my past friends who I broke up with. This is a much better mindset to have.
This is such a powerful message.
I too am guilty of the Benihanna method.
I wanted them to FEEL the dismissal from my life!
It takes me FOREVER to dismiss negative people so, when I finally decide to do it, I'm near the boiling point. And I'm usually in mental pain from the relationship.
Plus 3. Plus 3. Plus 3.
I'm getting better. Feeling better.
THANK YOU LISA NICHOLS for being a light in my life.
You have no idea. Even when I don't comment, I'm listening.
Wishing you much L❤VE & Light!
I L❤VE YOU.
Wow! The Relationship is COMPLETE!!!!! Thank you!
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Hey Lisa another great video. I always had a problem with disconnecting negative ppl but I love this way it so important to leave ppl still feeling good about themselves after a relationship ends. Will be using this method from now on thank you again.
Thank God lisa I did find you on u tube my life has improved from that day no turning back you really heal souls , tell you what LIsa you you can break the rock