Jennette McCurdy & Drew Barrymore on Complicated Relationships with Mothers | Barrymore's Backstage
Vložit
- čas přidán 25. 09. 2022
- Jennette McCurdy just released her bestselling memoir, "I'm Glad My Mom Died" about growing up as a child actor and how she started to heal after her mom's death. Today, she sits down with Drew Barrymore to discuss how she found the strength to share her story and how she wants to move forward. Buy her book here: amzn.to/3feIecx
Subscribe to The Drew Barrymore Show: / @thedrewbarrymoreshow
Keep the party going with a visit to thedrewbarrymoreshow.com
FOLLOW THE DREW BARRYMORE SHOW
Instagram: / thedrewbarrymoreshow
Twitter: / drewbarrymoretv
Facebook: / thedrewbarrymoreshow
Pinterest: / thedrewbarrymoreshow
Snapchat: / drewbarrymoretv
TikTok: / thedrewbarrymoreshow
FOLLOW DREW BARRYMORE
Instagram: / drewbarrymoreshow
Twitter: / drewbarrymore
Facebook: / drewbarrymore
Pinterest: / drewbarrymoreshow
The Drew Barrymore Show is daytime's brightest destination for intelligent optimism and maximum fun, featuring everyone's favorite actor, businessperson, mom and cultural icon, Drew Barrymore! From news to pop culture, human interest to comedy - you'll discover it here with Drew along with the beauty and wisdom, as well as the heart and humor in life.
Jennette McCurdy & Drew Barrymore on Complicated Relationships with Mothers | Barrymore's Backstage
/ thedrewbarrymoreshow - Zábava
Drew was the one person in this industry who could provide this space for Jennette and I'm so glad she did. This interview didn't even feel like an interview, it felt like a very candid and compassionate conversation.
yeah, honestly, this reminded me of deep conversations you have with a friend where you feel like you could keep talking forever
She also went on Red Table Talk
Absolutely love drew 🎉
Thanks Jennette for taking the time to talk
Oh absolutely! I think it’s because they both experienced very similar trauma that it feels more like they’re guiding each other through it rather than talking at one another
Absolutely 💯♥️
This is a powerful message! “If saying the truth ends a relationship then it is probably a relationship that needed to end.”
Yeah, I just paused on that part...
Your truth can be different than mine just like memories. ❤️🥰💕
💯
Powerful.
I felt that in my very soul. ❤️🔥
This is honestly the first time I’ve seen an actual real conversation between two women who have been emotionally abused by their mothers on television. Thank You. I feel seen. I feel connected to you both. ❤
I hear you. I believe you. So relatable!
@Philip Garcia personality: the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character
@Philip Garcia you do realize she was forced into the entertainment industry when she was a literal baby and her mother used her for money and fame. She ended up in a mental institution by the age of 13 strung out on alcohol and drugs because she was partying so hard in Hollywood. You obviously don’t know what she’s suffered at the hands of her neglectful parents:
.
This was all scripted.
I need Drew to write her story now called “I’m not waiting for my mom to die”
That is it 😂💯
Agreed....her mother was terrible. Obama mother was unstable
This would be brilliant ❤
the perfect title
I am sure she is thinking about it
Jennette is so articulate, it’s beyond clear she was meant to write. I hope she will continue to explore whatever creative avenues she wants to
It's so soothing to see her in this light after watching Sam's character! Growing up with Sam was fun but growing into Jeanette is so healing ❤
@@jonellechristopher3209 I don’t know why but this reminded me of how Sams character always had a hard relationship with her mom. I wonder if Jeanette ever felt like represented by that aspect of Sam?
@@zoeyr2739 Unfortunately the opposite; Dan Scheneider (the creator of the show and a Nick exec who likely abused Jennette, though she's never directly given his name) would write in things that the actors were insecure about or having a difficult time with. For instance, he also made Jennette eat a ton of food on camera, even though she was very clearly dealing with an eating disorder
lookup
Jay Pop- Love Is Murder
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
She really is!
Honestly, drew having her own talk show was the best thing to happen. She LIVED through it: relationships, trauma, addiction, and now happiness and true success
This was the most perfect interview for Drew as well, no-one understands like she can. DEFINITELY the best interview on the book I've seen ❣️❣️
she's truly had an incredible arc. It must be wild to be her.
Agreed
WOW she's sooo brave & smart . She's Awesome .
AMEN. She has been through it all. Relatable is an understatement. Minus the fame lol!
Jeanette does not throw her mother under the bus in this book. She idolized her. This book is about waking up.
Is that woman crazy? She let two adult children see each other nude what the hell man.
Exactly. If you read it and you understand how she was treated by her mom, you’re probably upset when you read it because she is so kind and patient with her mom when her mom doesn’t set serve it -from an unbiased perspective. But not always (the “waking up” as you say or just the fact that jennette already knew the truth when she was writing) and that’s what makes it so real.
And that's idolize in its biggest, boldest possible meaning. Quite literally to the point of if the idol is not appeased there will be consequences for the mortals. The disgusting number of times she had to give up herself in the face of crocodile tears and phony heartbreak was insane. There was a lot of talk of the title but if it went one more line it could easily have been "because now I can live"
And so relatable. We all idolize our parents. Especially if you have a narcissistic parent who exploits that aspect.
She most definitely had every right to throw her wayyy under the bus whether society accepted it or not
I don’t think we, the viewers, truly grasp the HUGE amount of Jeanette is doing in our world right now just by speaking out. She is so authentic, so articulate, and just sharing her experiences resonates so much with so many of us who haven’t been able to speak our truths on nuclear family relationships and the dark side of some. She is so inspiring, and I wish I could meet her!
SAME 😢
Amount of what??
“Us who grew up without a certain type of love, have more of it to give,” this phrase hit me. My dad grew up in a broken household and he loves us so intensely. I feel his love every single day and I am so grateful for it. ❤
wow wow wow... didn't hear that part and it just hit me... growing up in my situation I longed for my mother's love... it was even worst that she was a single parent and I didn't know my dad so I longed for love... now being married I love hard.. smh makes total sense now.. Ekk
Same, I have this same feeling with my mother. She grew up in the 70's in an immigrant household where daughters weren't appreciated and was disowned at 22 when she married my father. I feel that people can choose how to approach their trauma. They can either turn out to be a narcissist who continues their cycle of abuse on others, or they can become an empath who breaks the cycle and radiates love to others. My mother hid her trauma from us and created a loving home for us and for that I am forever grateful. (sorry for the long reply)
That’s nice to hear! Although my dads the opposite lol
Same with my father! My grandfather had passed when I was young, and he speaks respectfully of him, however doesn't hold back that his childhood relationship with him was very cold and they didn't really have much of one until he was grown. However, my dad is the most loving man I have met. He had always been so gentle to me as a child and I was surprised to learn how he had grown up being treated by his dad. Though I do have to say that he has said that my grandmother had enough love to give for the both of them. ❤️ Hugs to everyone impacted by a strained relationship with a caregiver, it's a real tough one.
I can say the same about my father. He said growing up that his parents never told him that they loved him. The first time he heard it was when he was 38 years old. Because of this, he never misses a chance to tell us how much he loves us and what he wouldn't do for us.
This is not an interview... this is a THERAPY SESSION between two great friends! I love both of these women and I just knew that this was going to be such an amazing conversation. I really got lost into this and I didn't want it to end ❤️
They’re just talking about life it’s not really a therapy session
@@Haileyrodriguez288 it's therapeutic
I was legit saddened when it ended i wish this was a series!
It's also not your standard press interview going on here between these two. Could be considered A form of therapy 😊
Me too - I have tears!
That “if speaking the truth destroys a relationship” thing that Jennette said reminds of this one quote: “If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth."
Drew is probably the one person who could actually truly understand everything Jennete went through because she went through the same with her mother. So proud and happy with how far Drew has come and everything she accomplished and the woman she became. Drew is amazing period.
"I'm actually asking honestly because I don't know..." "I'm here to ask for advice because I have a lot to learn from you." "I knew I could trust you because of your comedy." Wow. Drew's ability to empower is so intimate and that humbleness allows so much of that truth to flow forward!
Yes! When Jeanette said she probably doesn't want to have kids, the way Drew said "Gee, I wonder why?" 😆 She was so empathetic, genuine, and understanding. Then Drew said how healthy Jeanette is and how if she ever did choose to become a mother that she'd be a great one. (That's probably a thought that Jeanette hasn't dared to really entertain.) Drew didn't pressure Jeanette to have kids, she just gave her a boost of confidence that she'd be great at it. And she shared her own struggles and her own growth without being holier-than-thou in any way. It was such a supportive exchange. 🥰
Repent to Jesus Christ “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.”
1 Peter 4:10 NIV
T
for drew to ask advice from jeanette, her junior, is so beautiful to see. drew being so vulnerable enough to ask for advice yet still empowering jeanette. they’re both such strong people 🥲❤️
I love her. She could have become this hard, bitter person after everything she has been through but she's like the literal human version of a sunflower
She is a truly healthy person. She really knows that she can learn from others, and that's never denigrating to oneself, it's actually the opposite.
“Us who didn't have a certain type of love maybe even have more of it to give” I put my phone down and just sobbed. What a healing conversation.
Same
Feel it in my bones
Same here :(
Yessss!
It's so so true
I just love how she makes every interview feel like a private conversation not a public interview it’s so refreshing and comforting just to watch
This is probably the most natural, heartfelt and genuine interview i've ever seen. Drew is such a pure soul and Jennette can see that too
I’m an 80’s baby and I’ve been in love with Drew Barrymore ever since I saw the movie Fire Starter . And that admiration has only grown as we’ve literally grown up simultaneously. Her physical beauty, her realness and authenticity, her humor and almost angelic aura is unmatched in the industry. I still love Drew B. She’s something special!
Wow when Drew said “I don’t want to paint her negatively I don’t want people to think of her negatively but the truth is tough stuff” I got goosebumps. She articulated something I’ve always felt and never said aloud and never have heard anyone else validate. Thank you.
This is me with my Dad. For LOOONG time. Now I'm like he's the ass. Not me.
@@KoriEmerson same with my mom
@@KoriEmerson same here girly. your not alone
Right there with you..I froze. Epiphany.
Me too. It's really hard when your parent is loved by outside people so much and keeps up appearances so well that no one would have an inkling of the trauma you have to deal with behind closed doors.
You can just tell Drew has been waiting her whole life to have this talk with someone. And I really hope she finds the courage to open up about her experience because I feel it would be SO healing for her. I really do. 😌🖤
My thoughts as well
Privacy is okay too
Beautifully said! She has had a tougher road than most and it’s been clear for a while she was not treated well as a child by her mother (& potentially others). Whether she goes public with the information or she confronts the person(people) personally in her life that abused her, it is absolutely her choice and will remain to be seen.
She would be a wonderful mommy!!!
@@Ellietalk81 drew barrymore wrote a memoir too you know
I so related to Drew saying, “I think, us who didn’t have a certain type of love, maybe even have more of it to give.” I’ve always felt this way, but it feels so meaningful to be validated by others who have gone through similar things❤ I hope anyone watching who have had similar experiences find peace in their lives and in themselves 🫶🤍
I instantly agreed as well as I’ve always felt the same way. Maybe doesn’t apply to all but, most. All the love they didn’t receive, they give and then some!
@@barbievillalobos2075 absolutely! 🤍😊
We need to get Drew in a room with Brooke Shields, Natasha Lyonne and Jennette all together for a conversation like this. Child stars from different generations talking about their lives
Britney too
@@weirdloverwilde I wish she did interviews 😅
Drew and Brooke had a heart to heart
I started tearing up when Drew said Jeanette is going to be a good Mom if she decides to be one. My biggest fear is accidently causing harm to children because of my trauma. I love this conversation. ❤
Start working on yourself now. I've been in therapy for the past 9 years to work on my trauma and to process everything that happened my whole childhood/teenagehood. I have a beautiful three year old little boy, and still have moments when I get triggered from my past. Sometimes he's the one that's triggering me and therapy gave me to coping skills and self awareness to recognize that and realize as well as the strength to walk away.
I never wanted to have kids for the same reason! I now have a almost two year old, and she has been the best catalyst to my healing. And she already has such a different childhood than me!
Definitely one of several reasons I've never wanted children. I believe if you continue to do the work and you know what triggers you or issues you face, you can definitely become the person you want to be.
@@DarkLady0801 sorry i read this comment and could relate so much. I have a 4 year old and find myself getting triggered too. I hope I find the skills to cope too.
I didn’t like that part personally. I had people say this too me when I said I did not want children. It’s covertly trying to sell someone on the idea.
Whoever gave Drew a television show had an amazing insight into the kind of wisdom/spirit/tenderness that someone like Drew could share with the rest of the world, and I'm so happy to be a part of those in the receiving end of her wisdom.
I was just thinking this! her show has been so uplifting and natural. she is so genuine with all of her guests unlike other hosts
yes ❤️❤️❤️
So true ❤
Absolutely. Her journey has made her into a pretty sweet, open, and genuine human being.
I've been a fan of hers for sooo long and part of my love of her is because of her compassion and her giant beautiful heart. She's an iconic woman for so many reasons but she's the one major celebrity that I feel like I could get ice cream with and it would be comfortable not intimidating because of who she is.
This is the type of real life, mentally and emotionally intelligent conversation I'd like to see more of on tv
I agree 💯
I agree. The only way to overcome the stigma of abuse and mental illness is to talk about it.
Drew is the perfect person to have interviewed Jennette. They had a similar upbringing and you can tell it’s something Drew still struggles with. Jennette is glowing and i love them both soooo much. Loved this.
Jeannette saying 'shame is a useless emotion' was really eye opening for me. As I suffer from anxiety, re-living moments of 'shame' has always brought me down to a low point and makes my anxiety spiral, to the point where I've struggled to make relationships with people outside my family. I agree that I'd rather feel guilty than ashamed, I can face guilt without destroying my mental state.
I can totally relate to your comment. Sometimes I've had a really difficult problem differentiating the two emotions.
I feel a very real sense of this on most of my adult life and quite a bit of it as I've grown up. The worst part is not being able to differentiate between the sense of those that you know do not deserve your time and how to establish the foundation to build your own self-worth back up. Most people that I've spoken with that have been contributors or just didn't view my life from the same lens, will tell me that I only read the situation to place myself as the victim. My biggest issue is not being able to read social scenarios well. I don't think that should place a child under scrutiny, especially when I'd get upset with myself whenever I didn't understand.
Hi
Same
I would highly recommend reading Brene Brown's books or listening to her TED talks. She has done in-depth shame research, and her material is very HEALING! Focus on one thing today: make things about actions rather than internalizing the actions into an adjective for yourself. That's a big one for people who struggle with the weight of shame. I encourage you to see things in the future as an action...This is a simple example, but a good place to start is by thinking: I did ___badly...... FOCUS on that instead of saying *I* am bad (or whatever adjective that is tearing yourself down), because this incubates shame. I hope I could help a little bit and that I was able to help in some way. I hope you feel a little bit better each day going forward. 💞
I'm an instant fan of Barrymore. No other talk show would be this profound in a 20-minute interview.
Watch her interview with Trevor Noah. Whether you're a fan or not, the interview is brilliant.
Dud berrymore has been acting for like 4 decades. Was this really your first experiemce with her?
@@aroccoification 😂
@@aroccoification Aside from seeing her in movies, yes.
@@fozziebean what's your favorite drew-vie?
I love how Janette had those “mmmmm” “mmhmm” therapist queues lol. Like she’s learned soooo much from therapy and her journey to heal from her trauma that she’s just sooo emotionally intelligent, really ♥️
I am so impressed with Jennette McCurdy. She drops orbs of brilliant insight when she speaks. I hope she continues to write books.
Drew bears the soul of simultaneously a 40 year old, a 70 year old, and a 13 year old and I love it.
Her nature, her wisdom, her humour, awareness and her innate kindness and Lust/zazz for life is what makes her a true gift to this world.❤
That's what I'm talking about, drew is a national treasure
So… just like everyone else, then? Lol.
@@christinatuttle8442 no not even close lol
Very true
That’s exactly it! I could never phrase the vibes she gives me. She gives “cool, worldly aunt giving you life advice” until all of a sudden she makes a certain gesture of facial expression and she looks like she’s 6 years old in ET again.
“If saying the truth ends a relationship, then It’s probably a relationship that needed to end.” PREACH. 👏🏼👏🏼
❤❤❤
Right?! It’s taken me 46 years of life to understand that deeply. I don’t have it in me to play pretend about anything with one more person anymore. I don’t care who it is.
I will forever remember this statement
I think Jennette made Drew really realize that it’s okay for her to come out with her truth whether her mom is alive or not whether it destroys whatever relationship they have left. Her story deserves to be told.
I am just sobbing my eyes out. It's been almost a year since I decided to call her my "birth mother". I'm terrified writing that here, in case she'd see it. But still, this talk was so amazing.
I’ve always said mother because a mom gives you love and cares about you, a mother just gives birth to you :)
❤❤❤
❤️❤️
@@xragdoll5662Agreed.
Sending love & strength your way
Once again, Drew Barrymore holds an honest and raw conversation in the deepest of warmth, and I love that. She was made to do this, and I am so happy she has this platform to invite us into.
Thank you! So glad you liked the interview!
Yntyyt y 😮
It's called acting.
I appreciate the way Drew is so warm and real in conversations. It makes people she speaks with so much more comfortable and not judged in their truth.
Instant Star was so good 🙌🏼
So glad they could connect, having seemingly lots of parallels in their childhood. My favorite thing about Drew is her openness to learning. Even though she’s a mom, she’s been married and divorced, she’s older than Jeanette, she genuinely seeks wisdom from her. Great interview!
I'm shocked, I've never seen any of her show before this. She handles this difficult conversation with elegance and grace. I hope she does more of these hard hitting interviews. She is so open, raw and humble. When she jumped up to hug her it shows that she cares more about the person than getting the juicy details. I was moved to tears by this conversation and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Good job Drew and thanks to Jennette for being so open and shading her story!
Yes
Cause she did it. She broke through and Drew recognizes. Miracle Drew is healthy and thriving being troubled kid actor with us but she can take it next level now. Exceptional!
@@imrebeccap egg xurde
lookup
Jay Pop- Love Is Murder
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
I smiled soo wide seeing Drew showing Jennette some genuine love. I love the strength it takes to be so brutally honest with this trauma in this way. Congratulations Jennette!
Drew is so empathetic. It’s refreshing to see on tv. A real conversation without a scripted list of questions. 👍🏼
trauma is incredibly isolating sometimes so to see these two women relate in a way only they can is just - it’s painful but also really rewarding and comforting
I know this feeling!
I had to pause the video multiple times because it hit so hard!
They had a very raw and honest conversation which is so nice to hear. Women don’t often speak about bad relationships with their mothers even tho I know soooo many of us have them. It builds this pent up, generational trauma that gets passed down unintentionally cause you don’t even recognize the behavior as abusive. Drew asked important questions, and Jenette gave powerful answers
This really hit hard, I had a very difficult relationship with my mom, the mother daughter love seemed very one sided mostly my side it seemed. She never hit me but the constant emotional abuse was just so heartbreaking, I didn't know what I did to deserve her treating me like she did. 😔
I really appreciated the very raw dialogue and genuine questions and answers - so healing.
Yes! This was riveting to me. When Drew said something to the effect of wanting a relationship with your mother that not even society says you should have but that NATURE tells you should have blew my mind. I have always longed for that kind of relationship with my mother and a therapist said to me a few years ago that I need to start accepting that that relationship may never happen.
These women having this particular conversation moved me today. Wow.
I feel you all. When Drew said she felt the need to protect her mother it struck me cause I think a lot of people continue to make excuses for their mother’s poor behavior when they don’t deserve that protection. For so long everyone thought my mom and I had a close and happy relationship even tho she was abusive on many levels. I never spoke about it until I got to my 20s and it was so freeing to do so. I have accepted that I will never have a positive relationship with my mom, and I no longer allow her to destroy my life just because I feel like I owe her for giving birth to me. Self-mothering and building strong bonds with other women in my life has helped to fill that void. It’s a journey, and i’m sending a big warm hug to anyone who needs it 💞
My grandmother physically and verbally abused me that I almost killed her when I was older. But thankfully I'm free being independent and trying to build a relationship with my estranged mom(her daughter) who she verbally abused
❤ I think Drew telling Jennette that she feels like she will be a good mom, might’ve been another healing moment for Jennette.
I feel this was very healing for Drew, you could see the moment Drew was asking the real underlying questions and how Janette really got it and understood.
Jeanette mccurdy hit gold with Drew. Drew experienced what Jeanette went through. Jeannete needed Drew because she went through this. Drew's show is so amazing and bright
They're speaking to my soul.
Couldn’t agree more
You can tell how inspired by her Drew is. The questions she was asking she was asking for HERSELF. she truly needed to know the answers for her journey. and that in turn helps so many. I hope Drew can tell her full truth as well.
Who's her guest? I didn't know her at all! 😊
@@Analysis_Paralysis She was on a nickeloden show called ICarly, also a show with Ariana Grande, Kat & Sam.
@@MoreKrisOver Thx!
@@MoreKrisOver Sam & Cat
she could have asked literally anyone or her own therapist no need to ask net, I felt bad. She has done so much to overcome people pleasing and drew seems very serious and pushing like she's an adult and she is way older than her. I felt net being tensed and worried
She is absolutely correct, if speaking the truth destroys a relationship then it was a relationship that was not to be. Keeping your sense of humor can keep your sanity.
Jenette is very well spoken I love her
As someone with a narcissistic mother, it’s so powerful listening to other women who have difficult relationships with their own mothers. Knowing they will never change, but that I’m not alone in that.
Same ❤️
Facts
Me too!
But, though I struggled with the relationship with my mom, I too thought that she would never change.
She recognized her own behavior as toxic, and that it stemmed from her own childhood abuse, would admit her own faults, and actively sought therapy for her issues, and tried like hell to work on herself.
Even though she did back-slide several times, and many times she didn't know if she could change, have a different mindset and truly be the kind of person, she's always wanted to be.
She started her journey of healing in her late 20's, when she was able to understand that she had trauma from the abuse she suffered in her childhood and was also physically abusing her own children, because she wasn't shown another way of disciplining.
But she knew deep down that, hitting her children with a belt every time we misbehaved, was absolutely WRONG!
It's taken years and years to unpack all that baggage!
She's 64 now, has 4 adult children, 9 grandchildren, 2 cats, 2 dogs, and a husband who loves her in every way possible!
She's finally able to know, understand and love the amazing person SHE truly IS!
Yes, she's been damaged.
Yes, she's messed up a lot, made wrong choices, but that's NOT who she is, but what she'd done.
It took her a long time to come to know, understand and love the person she is.
and she's still working on herself every single day.....
I'm so proud of her!
She not only saved her own life, but all of ours too!
I have no idea how our family's lives would be right now, had she never taken those first few steps towards unlocking her potential....
I'm just so grateful she did!
Omg this!!!! My dad always says "your mother will never change so you have to." I always thought that was unfair
I tried to set boundaries with my mom and she ignored them. So now we don’t have a relationship. My mental health is more important.
I love that Drew is literally having a cathartic moment right before our eyes. I feel like I’m watching her put puzzle pieces together to start her own journey of healing. Sending love and light to anyone who has ever been mentally, physically, sexually, and/or emotionally abused by someone you thought you could trust. ❤️
I agree ... I love seeing her here feeling and longing for that you got me feeling. Like she found someone that finally gets her. Many will say I know or I'm so sorry but do they really understand you and how you feel ... no one will unless they have been in a similar situation. I felt the same here like wow I totally can relate.. many in these situations feel alone, abandon, and judged.
Thank you ❤
🙂
💔💔
Seeing the light go on in her own eyes-the recognition that "Yeah-what my mom did wasn't ok. I defended her because she's my parent-but what I was defending wasn't her. It's what I wished she could be." When my abusive parent died, I felt sadness, sure. But I also felt just unmeasurable grief and disappointment at losing the chance that things could have been better. She could have been better-could have healed and found recovery. But she never did.
To quote Bojack Horseman: My mother is dead. And everything is worse now.
“Anything worth saying is probably going to be divisive” yes💖
Coming from a relationship with an abusive mother... this talk really hits home. The guilt, the shame, the loss of a relationship you desperately want and don't want at the same time. I protected my mom for so long, for so long "being afraid to hurt her feelings" took precedent over my own feelings, being afraid of making her look bad, being ungrateful, etc... so much fear and shame to navigate just to come to terms with my own feelings. An abusive mother relationship is so hard to navigate. I went NC with mine, and it was really good for me, but it's still hard. You still miss them, even if they hurt you, you still desire the love of a mother even if she can't give it to you in a healthy way. The struggle is REAL. Hugs to you, ladies.
I think these two need to make a podcast talking about mental health and trauma. They connect with each other so beautifully!
That's an amazing idea. I'd totally listen!
Jennette actually has a podcast called empty inside where she has several interviews like this. Highly reccomend
What a great idea!
100% agree!!!❤
@@Snowflake28936AJ I used to listen and I can't find it anymore! Do you know where I can find it again?
I love how Drew allows space for Jeannette's reasoning for not having kids. A lot of ppl immediately become defensive when a woman says she doesn't want children. They're always ready to gaslight, invalidate, and suggest you're just not capable of knowing what you want. Someone else not wanting children doesn't invalidate you having kids. 💯💯💯💯
As a Childfree man, I couldn’t have said it better myself.
i also never understood the hostility. like you want someone who DOESNT want kids to have kids? do you not see how badly that’ll end for everyone involved ?
She under stood when John Cena shared his reason to.
@@El1society kinda like making ppl go thru with pregnancies that they don't want, how do ppl think that's gonna end up for them? 😟
@@jesusmysaviourable1 what was his reason?
All the feels. Having 2 emotionally/verbally/mentally/physically abusive parents I 100% relate. It’s difficult to even tell my kids things about my childhood because they can’t believe their grandparents would ever be that cruel. And I never tell them the worst of it. I also married an abusive man. So all I’ve known my whole entire life is abuse. I don’t think I’ll ever truly heal because I’m so broken. And I’m old now.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. You gotta heal in case you want to make it safe and positive for you and your kids.
If there's one breath left in you, there's time. You can heal and know love.
I’m 55 and only now am I processing some of the things that shaped me from childhood. I’m going to have to live with myself for the duration, so I might as well keep “doing the work.” I’m not broken, but I am in great disrepair.
Broken things can be rebuilt, look for the hands that help hold you up, find someone who knows how to rebuild people, get away from people that tear you down. One small act at a time can make a difference when you don't have the energy to move at all. I hope the best for you and if you can't believe in your own strength maybe the belief of a stranger will help. Gentle hugs
Jesús es el camino !
"If saying the truth ends a relationship, its probably a relationship that needed to end" AMAZING! love her, I wrote a fertility book last year and told the truth about my experience with sibling abuse, I shared in detail about the traumatic time I had at my brothers hand, I shared because as a fertility coach, I have had clients who only want one child and when we unpack the "why" of it, I uncover sibling abuse and the fear that they will create that same dynamic for their child. My brother saw the 1 page in the book where I talk about it and not only will he not speak with me, he has instructed my beloved niece and nephew (18 & 24) not to talk with me and he has threatened them saying "if you do talk with her, I will disown you" the cherry on the top of it all is that he told his childrenand wife that it was all a lie and never happened. So, there you go. I never had a good relationship with him, it has always been toxic, I am deeply grateful to both you and Jannette for sharing wisdom, I need to breathe and relax, and move on. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Love, Donna
I'm glad you exposed the abuser. Hoping your life is enriched
this was SUCH a beautiful conversation. I love how both jennette and drew use humour to cope with the hardest parts of their lives. Carrie Fisher said something like “if my life wasn’t funny, then it would just be true, and that’s unacceptable.” I admire the strength and resilience of these two badass women. Thank you both!!!
Wow- I’d never heard that quote before- it’s so powerful!
Carrie honestly would have been amazing to have as part of this convo. I miss her a lot
I told my therapist once, “If I don’t make jokes, I’ll cry.” It’s ok to cry too but sometimes you’re tired of crying and just want to see the humour in it.
We literally don’t deserve to witness Drew’s vulnerability but the fact that she lets us is so incredible. I’m gonna cry
I don't see my self as unworthy
@@Happiness1876 happy for u, bliss.
This didn't even feel like a 20-minute interview. This was a conversation between two people who have experienced similar traumas and can both empathize and sympathize with one another. Very real
Jennette is so well spoken I love the way she expresses herself
As a fellow survivor of child abuse at the hands of my parents this conversation had me almost in tears. I will definitely be picking up Jennette’s book
Agreed, we need to bring this to light. It's not something that should stay hidden.
It's a great book, well-written and totally worth it.
Bless you 🤍
Great book, painfully so.
Same 😢
this is such an incredible conversation
Have you seen the one she did with Trevor Noah? That one was really good too
My queen
Qveen !!! shoulda figured you’d be apart of this convo
I feel as if there was editing out some of the conversation. I wish I could see the unedited conversation.
@@sam5900 I miss him. He has the best conversations too
The laughing fit after she talked about her breakdown is too real, sometimes laughter truly is the best medicine. Love them both ❤️
“If saying the truth ends a relationship, it’s probably a relationship that needed to end.” 💯
My kid watched iCarly. As a parent, I found it obnoxious at times, but I still laughed because Jennette and Miranda were really, truly, funny actors. Seeing Jennette all grown up, speaking so eloquently, is so inspiring. I hope she realizes that even though she was forced to be the paycheck for her family, she was and is so gifted. Listening to her speak, you realize that she has so many layers and talents that we've yet to discover. I feel so protective of her like a normal mother should. I wish her every happiness in the world!
The funny thing is I think young people who went through trauma had a strange connection to her character Sam. I remember thinking she was such an off character but having an affinity for her
Repent to Jesus Christ “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.”
1 Peter 4:10 NIV
J
@@repentandbelieveinJesusChrist3 gross. Go oppress people elsewhere
@@SD-ci6kz Sam cracked me up tho
This was what made it interesting listening to her book ( I listen to it on my walks) that she really understands grammar very well which is something I'm not good at in anyway.
when drew said " ah, your gonna raise girls. that's your purpose here on this planet." brought me to tears. felt it in my bones.
me too.. I like this is what Gods set you up for feeling... powerful. Destiny
That is pathetic. No one's purpose is to reproduce.
So incredible
Yes I’m a new mom and that part I was like just like ahh it was just sweet. She’s so absolutely sure about it. I feel the same but sometimes I doubt other people will get it
@@MamaGator They don't get it but we do. I'm glad the cycle was broken with you and your kids. God bless.
Jenette's words "When I was six, I didn't know that was messed up."nearly break me when I hear her say so and still there she is smiling and laughing. I can't imagine what it must have been like.
I mean to those of us who have experience that kind of things do try to make it something to laugh at, because it's so absurd that kids have to live like that.
I don't think I've ever watched a more authentic interview.❤
as a daughter, not being able to have that “normal” relationship with my mom is so disheartening. not only do many people not relate they can’t even understand. it’s hard to come to terms that she’ll never change as narcissists rarely notice they’re doing wrong.
And when they do they just wanna squeeze more sadistic enjoyment from the deep pain they cause. I'm very sorry your mother is abusive and limitlessly cruel. You deserve unconditional love, respect and safety. I hope you're surrounded by kind people and pets. That you have access to the therapy that suits you better. And that your mum and her flying monkeys can't reach you.
Hugs I know that feeling...
I totally know this feeling
i hated my mother for so many years for her cruelty and recklessness. then i learned, that hate only destroy me. lost contact years ago. i don't know why, this year i wrote her a card for her birthday. she moves to another city (her birthplace).
we used to spend time together before she left. i have tought about her life , and a lot of it hurts me. also for my mother. but i also understood a lot. now everything ist okay between us, but the sadness remains. i didn't want to get a degree until she died (81 years old).
my teenage daughter also understood a lot better. for her i broke the circle of generations frommother to daughter hardness. i love her to much to do this to her.
I’m personally going through this process with my mom currently. It’s taken going through family therapy for it to become clear. It took my dad suddenly dying but thank god my brother is great. I feel bad that others have gone or also going through there own version of this conversation and experiences.
Jeanette talking about how speaking the truth potentially ending a relationship being ok, reminded me of this quote: “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to speak kindly of them, they should have treated you better.”
I disagree. People will still talk ill about you if you give them what they need instead of what they want
@@greyLeicester well exactly. They'll talk ill about you either way, so may as well speak the truth as soon as you can. You own it
@@greyLeicester this isn’t a disagreement. I think you missed the point
The conversation they had was so healing... the reason why they need comedy is because they recognize balance! Too dark is obviously very heavy. And comedic responses adds optimism in future thoughts.
They both relate and im happy they found eachother.
I'm also happy they're able to share eachothers therapeutic advice.
this interview was AMAZING, it almost felt more like a therapy session needed by both. I loved it!
I need an hours long podcast like episode with the two of them! This is by far the best conversation/ interview I’ve seen since Jenette has been promoting. It’s so incredible and feels so important.
Absolutely!!! Definitely loved the Anna Faris and Trevor Noah interviews as well. You can tell she enjoys those as well.
Add Whitney Cummings interview to this list too!
I truly hope that if Britney ever sits down for an interview to tell her story, it's with Drew Barrymore, it honestly would be a therapy session between the two legends, which literally could heal many out there.
I don’t think Britney is ready for this type of interview, she’s too chaotic
Britney needs Iyanla tbh, even deeper healing.
I think britney wouldnbe too much for drew to handle
I continue to be amazed by Drew Barrymore. When she said her purpose is to raise girls I cried. Who knew! Life is so absurd. Everything is the opposite of what it appears to be. Finding the humor and love in the absurdity is the way to surviving it. These two can connect on such a soulful level. What a profound interview by 2 quality human beings who have been through the gauntlet yet they decided to be better than what was done to them. Continuously inspiring. ❤️
This episode NEEDED to happen for both parties.
“Us who didn’t have a certain type of love have more of it to give..”
Drew is so right
This is the best interview of Jenette I’ve seen. Drew is so real and genuine and her energy is like a safe space. How amazing that both of them have gone through such similar experiences. They both deserved better and I’m glad they’re still here today to have these important conversations :’) ❤
Her interview with Chelsea Fagan @the financial diet was phenomenal if you haven't watched it!
Watch her interview with Trevor Noah
Like Jenette said, it's different when you can sense someone inviting your humanity to the table. This wasn't the type of interviewer just looking for a scoop, going through the motions and/or following a trend. It also helps that Drew produces her own show so she is free to structure and execute her interviews the way she wants without the pressure of a higher up (other than the network) to perform and deliver a certain way.
Drew is the best choice of person to be interviewed. She went through it. I think Britney should be interviewed by her as well.
I've adored Drew Barrymore since I was a kid. Shes the first white lady I knew was cool outside of my godmother
I just know Jennette has almost no one in her life who genuinely knows what she went through, Drew is the perfect person for her to talk to. Not just because she has the experience but she just seems so kind and understanding.
This is such a healing conversation. My entire heart goes out to them, I’m so grateful they can share their experiences in such a safe setting. 💗
I literally cried. I could feel the safety they both must have felt with this conversation. A sigh of relief, sharing, being vulnerable but funny and just feeling inspired by one another 🥹
literally!!? OMG! Like me too!
Jennette saying, that “if saying the truth ends the relationship, than it was a relationship that needed to end.” Is such a great way to live.
Yup that’s why relationships end all the time in Hollywood.
Yes...😭
My mom was horrifically abusive and then the abandonment I felt when she gave me to a dad I hardly knew at 9 (state ordered or foster care so more abuse )
.. The always wanting a mother stays with me as pathetic as that may seem to admit in my adulthood... I've tried to have a relationship with her but it wasn't possible
so I try to forgive but finally
I had to mourn her ...while she was still alive and never see her again
it's horrible how much damage adults can cause children
So true I feel you. My mom was narcissistic never cared about my life and always felt like a shadow in her life.. it's hard.but it gets better. Prayer
I just read the biography and I wanted to see interviews about it....but this one's it..there is no better interview than this one...seeing two people talking to each other and saying: "I see you" this is such a good conversation.
I hope they went out for a long lunch after this beautiful conversation. I feel like these two were meant to meet and connect over this unique issue. I loved this whole conversation
It's wonderful to see two strong women have an open conversation about their traumas without self-pity. They're focused on moving forward and thriving and, most of all, understanding themselves.
The fact that Drew has gone through so much of what her guests have gone through really means that she understands so much more than a regular host
I would agree with the therapy point. I did diagnostic therapt first, then solo DBT, then a DBT group, and finally EMDR. I think my therapists (both Laura funnily enough) hit the nail on the head. 18 months intensive, £8000 and the best thing I've ever done in my life. I may not own a home, but I'm alive and thriving
I've been watching Jeanette make the rounds and I loved they way Drew navigated this interview. The vibe is so different. None of the other interviews went like this. I wish Jeanette and Drew nothing but the best
I love their conversation
4:48
relatability makes it for easy ..conversations
Watch Trevor Noah interview that’s good too
@@seiakoshaw5926 I agree. His interview with her was so good!
*Jennette not Jeanette.
I feel overwhelmed with gratitude to be part of this comment section. This is the first time in 9 years where I’ve felt like people actually understand what it was like to be abused by their own mother. It’s horrible because you’re grieving the loss of a mother figure that you thought you’d get but also dealing with all the anger and deep, deep pain that comes with the abuse from someone you thought was going to love you. Love you all.
Try watching the show "Bojack Horseman" if you haven't already.
jessica i just want to say thank you for taking the time to write and share that
i feel the same way, it’s so mind blowing to hear so many of us relating and understanding- on a situation that gets kept in the dark so often.
sending lots of love and healing ❤️
I burst into tears reading your comment Jessica. I hate not having (something often crave) a more normal relationship with my mom and I use the phase “because she’s my mom” quite a bit and part of it is because she drilled into me that she’s the only one I’m going to have once my grandma (and legal guardian since I was four) is gone and that really scares me… I hate that others struggle with the same thing, but it helps to feel not as alone…
Yes, you wrote this perfectly. This made me cry.
I felt this way for so long. You should watch the Trevor Noah interview with Jeanette. It’s been healing to know that I wasn’t alone but it was always taboo to talk about the lack of love or conditions that came with what was supposed to be love from such a “foundational” relationship.
as someone who was abused by her mom and has no longer contact, trying to heal. im really thankful this video came up on my recommended. thanks to the both of you for talking about this, getting teary eyed seeing this.
Same. You’re not alone
I love that Drew makes every interview feel like just a conversation between friends. She is so genuine and her ability to learn from her trauma to be able to talk to people like real people. It’s so awkward to watch interviews just questions back to back like they’re on the stand
Jeanette McCurdy is just getting started! I cannot wait to see what this woman achieves and creates next... She is so incredibly strong, intelligent and relatable. A Great role model for young girls who lack representation. She is definitely going to help so many people with her brutal honesty and show of resilience.
That protectiveness thing hit the nail on the head. A LOT of abusive parents have a lot of family pride and a sense of having loyalty. It took me until senior year of college to openly talk about my dad having alcoholism and until I was almost 30 to talk openly with my sister about my mom's narcissism. I still can't tell a lot of people or even suggest that my mom has some personality issue because I'm so scared of ruining the family "reputation". It's like hardwired into me and it sucks.
Your comment JUST made me realize how much my mom always talked about loyalty to her.
I haven’t told anyone my mother is a narc since I figured it out about 7 years ago. She has successfully triangulated my siblings and I. My husband is only now realizing she has serious personality issues but he’s not into psychology like that.
@@A__Mina I'm glad you have someone else who will believe you. Often the worst part isn't the abuse itself but the fact they charm so many people and a lot of them won't or can't see the truth or believe you.
YES YES YES
@@A__Mina my late mom did that. My relationship with my sibs is permanently damaged. We’re all estranged, esp after her death in 2019.
Guilt comes from feeling remorse about something you have done, shame is conditioning. It comes from repeatedly being told and treated like something you did was worthy of remorse. Guilt is a means of internal policing and evolution while shame is a means of external control and is often used to erode our basic instincts in order to rewrite our inner voice with the narsasistic parents agenda
I was a huge iCarly fan as a kid, and after reading the book, seeing her this peaceful and happy for the first time is one of the most cathartic experiences in the world
Such a real convo between two child stars with their own trauma that hasn’t stopped them from coming out as shining, healing individuals. This was wonderful, Drew!
I feel so deeply for Drew. Clearly there's still so much more she needs to say in order to finally feel free from the deep trauma of her childhood, and yet, as a mother I totally get the feeling of needing to protect her own children from the ugly truths too. I so hope she finds a place where she feels safe in telling the entirety of her story one day, knowing the world will only embrace and support her for doing so. From what we do know of her mother, I think it's safe to say that nothing would shock or surprise us at this point. But of course, for Drew this is deeply personal and I can only imagine how scary it is to contemplate telling her whole truth out loud. Maybe she won't feel able until her mother has passed, but I get the feeling she may need to before that happens. You have the love and support of us all, Drew 💕
Drew is obviously doing it for her show! The girl sitting in front of her is saying all these things about what she went through and Drew is jumping on the wagon and saying me too just because she has a show and she wants ratings. Never believe Hollywood, there is always secondary gain in everything they do or say.
@@JL-uo1di Drew did have a rough childhood. You must not know about her early life. She was in night clubs as a young child and was a drug addict by 12. She emancipated at 14, so that can't speak to a great home life.
Get a life and stop worrying about celebritys
@@mrme3719 *celebrities
@@JL-uo1di lol do you even know who drew is?? the woman that was partying at age 9?? she is not making this up at all
This is one of the most important interviews I’ve ever seen.
I would like to thank both Drew and Jennette for this. Jeanette's book is worth 10 years' therapy. Cannot express how much it's helping me through my own journey to overcome the sexual and pyschological abuse my mother inflicted on me. Jennette is a model and inspiration to me. Wish the best to both of you, and to all out there struggling with such issues.
As someone who suffers from anxiety, hearing that shame is a useless emotion was a powerful statement for me. Thank you for that. I'm also someone who didn't receive a certain type of love and let me tell you, I have so much of it for my son and I work hard to be the parent he needs to be a whole, happy, and successful human being (whatever that means to him) 💙
Shame is very complicated. Shame can be the first emotion that LEADS to guilt, and guilt can lead to corrective behavior and learning lessons like Jeanette said whereas shame never evolves to any positive changes and just leads to self spiral.
But as long as you can recognize the shame that leads into something good versus the shame that leads to something bad then you’re good.
it’s kinda like well you can be ASHAMED of your behavior or actions, which is also guilt. But if you feel SHAMEFUL because of other peoples behavior towards you then that’s bad because you can’t control other peoples actions and that’s what will cause you to spiral.
I grew up so much with shame being raised in a cult. Let me just say people use shame to try to CONTROL you. Every living being deserves to be free. You deserve to be free. ❤
You’re gonna make me cry.
This is so sweet ❤️
It was an amazing thing for me to hear too. ❤ I feel you on anxiety and shame. And yes I cried during this interview and it’s not even half over for me yet! 😢❤
Can we talk about how Drew closes her eyes when she thinks? She imagines every situation & I love that about her.
Yes, and then when she opens her eyes she looks into people's eyes with such passion, such genuine, pure, unapologetic desire to connect with their souls!
The interview with John Stamos where she got down on her knee and stared at him so intensely, he joked that he's already married! It was so funny, but she really drug genuine emotion from him!
"Us, who didn't have a certain type of love, maybe even have more of it to give." Powerful words.
These two women just having this conversation was riveting!! I would love to see more books from both of them!!