How To Be More Assertive
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- čas přidán 3. 07. 2024
- #assertiveness #assertivecommunication #socialskills
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More than 70% of you said you’d like to become more assertive but you have no idea how to do so.
And I don’t blame you, because I don’t remember anyone in school telling us how to stand up for ourselves to protect our needs and wants.
So within the next few minutes I’m going to give you the only guide you’ll ever need to become more assertive, so your relationships with others can stop operating with the power imbalance between a snail and a lion.
Whether you’re the snail or the lion, I’ll let you decide.
0:00 Snails & lions
0:24 What is assertiveness?
4:34 (1) Where are you on the continuum?
7:54 (2) The 3 part assertion message
9:21 (3) Pro tips for delivering your 3 part assertive message
16:04 (4) Dealing with defensiveness (the push-push-back phenomenon)
17:47 Assertive body language
20:46 (5) Pro tips continued
25:55 (6) A quick fire way to stop someone’s behaviour
26:51 (7) The 6 ways of saying no
27:18 Summary
I misread the thumbnail and thought it said "your thirties ends now" . I was like, what the hell it just started. I'm only 31😂
Hahaha, let’s see how many others do the same 😂😂😂
😂😂
Dyslexia can be a gift aswell as a curse
count the days sweetheart. be careful driving.
when is it a gift😭@@bugzyhardrada3168
Construction taught me to never take sh*t from anyone.
“Excuse me sir, you’re sitting on my body…which is also my face.”
This has basically been me all my life , care about others peoples feelings more than my own, I become submissive to people who I believe are authority figures hence making me shy. Probably a result of my upbringing and need to uproot this pathetic weakness before it ruins my life.
Be assettive but not rude
Be confident and not arrogant
Be strong but yet kind.
Dare to be exceptional.
Dare to be Uncommon!
17 year old here you are the only youtuber in this space who I feel is 110% genuine and actually happy with their situation in life.
Agreed, 19 here. Have watched every single self improvement CZcamsr and he’s by far the most genuine and the healthiest for your mental health
I agree
Recommend you guys checkout Dr K too
When I see videos like this, I feel hopeful, because it shows that I'm not fundamentally broken and I can improve.
Learning how to fight really made me more confident and its a night and day difference
That's nice. I grew up fighting a lot. I used it as a way to assert myself and solve problems. I got really good at it. You know what it did? It crippled me. Not physically, but it prevented me from developing adult problem solving skills. It's really cool being a tough guy until you're in a professional work environment and you don't have the skills to navigate a minor disagreement outside of violence.
You are the older brother I never had. Seriously you’re opening my eyes. Respect from Italy 💪🏻
When you take such time and care in explaining things I feel fortunate to be listening because I came across your channel through luck.
I really love the use of "when you, I feel, because" in a positive context. I think that has huge potential for others to feel seen for what they do.
I know you've heard this hundreds of times, but I'll be ASSERTIVE and say it again, your content changes lives, it helps me immensely, thank you brate
Thank you for the examples, they were super important for me to understand how and where to use assertiveness. Some of those triggered memories of past conversations that have happened around me or that I participated in. I felt so helpless whenever these happened because it's always the same conversations over and over again and they never lead anywhere. Everybody just gets defensive and acts selfishly and nothing changes and I just do not know what to do differently. This video explained so much and gave me hope.
The amount of knowledge i gained with this video outweiths a month in school.When i see that you uploaded your video i get a nice yet at the same time uncanny feeling becouse i know i will know something that really will help me but will be hard to do.Keep up the work,you are NEEDED.
You make great videos man, very insightful thank you ❤️
Thank you :)
I am a man with two faces. I am the most assertive, on a ground level, you may ever meet.
But there is also another side. That side of me is in his castle. It keeps him safe, but it also keeps him trapped and cut off from the world and everything in it.
There is more to it than a spectrum. It's a very complex sphere. Now I am technically PD'd, so that plays a part. But still wanted to put this out there.
I can really relate to this thanks for sharing
THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO! my ex gf always said i was being controlling when i trying to be assertive and i think this is going to help her understand that wanting small things for myself isnt control Thank you!
Gonna get some popcorn for this
I'm jealous of how fast you've grown. But tbh, it's well deserved, Kudos man 🤝
Phantastic!
I used to be very timid and submissive when I was younger. At some point I overcorrected and became kind of an asshole. I'm trying to find the middle ground between the two. Thanks for this.
I couldn't watch the video last night.
So it is weekend and I was sleeping in the morning because I spent the whole night out with my gf but my roommate slept. Early in the morning the roommate started watching Tiktok on full volume but I have just arrived and slept. It really annoyed my sleep, how I asserted on him was to annoy him back. Instead of shouting at him I started signing loudly because I know he hates my voice. I did it until he realized what I'm doing and grabbed his earbuds 😂😂
Now as I've watched the video, I'll assert better next time. OMFG 😂
Your videos are of so much help in everyday life.
I hope i can keep my calm, stand my ground and put the things you've just taught me into practice, the next time i find myself in a situation where i need to be assertive.
Glad to see your new videos man) It's incredible how you keep being consistent, keep it up!
Cause of you I started reading more books again. Im starting with Discipline is Destiny now and Im excited af
Flawless delivery of well forged thoughts! Thanks for your time, friend!
Thank you genuinely
How helpful and important. Didn't think I had work to do in assertion but now I know I do :•)
Needed this video when I never knew I did! Keep it up:)
Really good video 👌🏽
Now I want to hear more about that story with the angry 16 year old in the mall! Great vid as always 💪🏽
Didn't know I needed this, thank you sir. I'm gonna grab the book too.
This video was randomly suggested to me and its absolutely something that Im interested in. Subscribed!
Excellent video.
This is great content, probably something I miss in my life.🙂
This video = Fax
Newsflash: assertiveness stifles competition. Of course the world will not want you to be assertive. Take this fact wherever you go.
Curious how these tactics work against malignant narcissist personalities, who have no shame in manipulating and abusing others to get their way, and often do not stop even when presented with reasonable boundaries. I'd assume the techniques for a quick and forceful no are the best for that.
Drinking a can of beer does the job for me lol
Guys being assertive shouldn’t be an issue, it’s easy to be assertive, you should aim to be agreeable and enjoyable to be around. Nobody wants to hang out with someone who’s bossing everyone around, you need to be able to concede even when you don’t want to
Just pick your battles mate
This is a cool video
Nice legit video essay 🙌
And actionables? Subbed fs
Great video, but how do you deal with someone refusing aggressively to make space for someone else, in the bus for example? The conversation can become heated.
woaah im so early
Oi my good chap. Any chance you would perhaps tackle the idea of the inner child if you’re feel inclined. Seems like a tough nut to crack sometimes when something feels a bit lost inside but there’s no way to really search for it. love for life is often overshadowed by the ego in an attempt to control surroundings. But then that deep need for control is actually what makes you the exact person you dispise for criticizing others for having fun on their own terms. Would love to hear your views
I feel like these phrases only seem to be applicable for work and not friendships or anything else
How am I supposed to make this work? I feel like I cannot look a person in the eye unless I am calm or mid conversation. I deal with executive dysfunction and while I have tried to do these things in the past it continued to be hard. The emotional regulation issues that come with it and slow processing challenges me heavily and I feel like there is a piece missing that I can’t figure out.
Why does it feel like I can’t be normal and do this despite wanting to. Despite all my effort and exhaustion from expending the effort?
There are eye contact trainers here in CZcams. It’s just videos of beautiful people with different emotions so you can reflect on them. Try those, maybe it will help. If not that, maybe start IRL with someone you don’t know, like a cashier or waiter. You’ll be a pro in no time.
Yep..i think this will be a video i come back to for years to come. Here's to all the messy attempts at assertiveness to come!
this video came up wile I was reading "no more mr. nice guy". if you know what I mean.
How do I become less assertive so I stop burning bridges, even if they lead shitty places?
I have to assert myself 3 times?
Nope, not doing that....
One assertion, then I implement my boundarie
Don’t open Dead Inside😅
Your ends timidity now
Your ends timidity now.
This sounds like non violent communication. To be assertive without the threat of violence leaves the door open for children to run over you. I think you’re assuming this between two mature adults talking. That sounds like work and a paycheck.
What does refuse to make put down comments mean? That sounds like someone refraining from saying hurtful words.
This man is so beautiful. I want to put my face next to the arch of his foot!
very specific compliment
Excuse me what exactly the fuck did I just read or When you made that comment it made me feel uncomfortable
@@weaponizedbattletoaster good! Nobody is here for your comfort. I'm here to look at this beautiful white man. Tf.
@@user-fm5eh1fi5z that's what I like! The most beautiful part of a white man!!
@@weaponizedbattletoaster nobody is here for your comfort. I'm here to look at this beautiful white man!!
22:25 The second assertion seems too unnatural here though, like David just completely discarded Olivia’s last statement. If I were a blue haired feminist, this response would probably only make me more defensive.
No.
Your videos are truly helpful and target the right topics. However, please refrain from using unusual words and stick to a speech that is as simple as possible, i struggle to watch most of your videos because i simply require more mental energy to understand what you are saying When you could have structured your words in a simpler manner such that someone could understand it with less mental energy and use that energy to actually understand and comprehend what you are saying and applying it in their head by creating scenarios. That's what i do with all the videos i watch but can't do it with yours. Hope you take the feedback
Edit:-
More addition to the above
You speak like someone would write in a book, now that could work in books and writing however it does work while speaking like at 6:32 you used the word "etymology" how much percentage of the english speaking population actually know the word? Quite low
+
It also seems like you trying hard to sound smart, even though you are😂 however it gives a less inviting vibes and is like only meant for smart people
Lol at timidity
You can't tell me what to do.... How was that? Im learning already 🥲