Crusader Kings: 2.0 Review | You can (Not) Afford | Family Edition™

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  • čas přidán 12. 10. 2019
  • Vidi, Vici, Veni.
    Outro:
    • Yoda Cock and Ball Tor...
    -----------------------
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    Website: ssethtzeentach.com/
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  • Hry

Komentáře • 4,7K

  • @caseytatum5837
    @caseytatum5837 Před 4 lety +4587

    "Im not good at this game"
    Becomes the pope's fucktoy and conquers all christian lands

    • @Hyewot
      @Hyewot Před 4 lety +300

      He clearly used console commands. The male homosexual event that pops up has a max age to occur of 17. He definitely just typed event 1980 into the console and then lied about it being RNG for it to seem funnier.

    • @KABLAMMATS
      @KABLAMMATS Před 4 lety +610

      @@Hyewot I'll never invite you to my party

    • @Hyewot
      @Hyewot Před 4 lety +219

      @@KABLAMMATS You're not invited to come raid England with me.

    • @hackhenk
      @hackhenk Před 4 lety +22

      @@KABLAMMATS Let's be honest, it's just your mom's birthday party and she said you could bring a friend.

    • @manictiger
      @manictiger Před 4 lety +20

      It all starts when you're a small little altar boy.

  • @godemperorhueylong269
    @godemperorhueylong269 Před 3 lety +5978

    "Infanticide isn't something I support, its something I recommend."
    I fucking died at that

  • @UncleHaul
    @UncleHaul Před 4 lety +22337

    “Luckily such horrific events are unlikely in modern times because of modern healthcare and sanitation.” God damnit Sseth

    • @jeck988
      @jeck988 Před 4 lety +2220

      His power knows no bounds and his foresight beyond reproach

    • @tfwthelsdkicksin6083
      @tfwthelsdkicksin6083 Před 4 lety +1203

      I have a feeling that Sseth can alter reality itself.

    • @jeck988
      @jeck988 Před 4 lety +887

      very scary very likely let’s be thankful he a benevolent Jewish African warlord

    • @tugrulemir1469
      @tugrulemir1469 Před 4 lety +380

      I think sseth is actually a godly being from another dimension, preparing us for his eventual domination of all of humanity

    • @lindholmaren
      @lindholmaren Před 4 lety +93

      Bogged

  • @lusteraliaszero
    @lusteraliaszero Před 3 lety +6657

    "perfect circle" is now an achievement in ck3

  • @PoyntFury
    @PoyntFury Před 4 lety +4472

    Narrator: *"He was not, in fact, about to get rid of the mold."*

    • @Asiis
      @Asiis Před 4 lety +122

      Is this Ross' mold? Is it spreading??

    • @mariaford5161
      @mariaford5161 Před 4 lety +5

      Hi

    • @112523
      @112523 Před 4 lety +11

      @Juan Cortez Muro fuck off. you dont have content and you dont earn any subs

    • @trueblueclue
      @trueblueclue Před 4 lety +132

      It's not mold. It's free antibiotics.

    • @unconscious7219
      @unconscious7219 Před 4 lety +54

      Is this the same guy who refused to clean the mold on his plate because he was busy playing Gothic?

  • @jonathanvilario5402
    @jonathanvilario5402 Před 4 lety +6427

    Me before: "This game is unrealistic"
    Me now: "History is unrealistic"

    • @LadyTylerBioRodriguez
      @LadyTylerBioRodriguez Před 4 lety +468

      The textbooks must be wrong. They didn't mention the Aztec Invasion.

    • @Goraka91
      @Goraka91 Před 4 lety +222

      There was definitely a ton of incest.

    • @kriskropd
      @kriskropd Před 4 lety +101

      @Mr. Villain Not when royal-families thought themselves as divine rulers.

    • @LadyTylerBioRodriguez
      @LadyTylerBioRodriguez Před 4 lety +53

      @@kriskropd I feel Charles the Second of Spain wouldn't call it divine... if he knew what that was since he was beyond inbred.

    • @lamantinfurtif7465
      @lamantinfurtif7465 Před 4 lety +3

      @John Galt how dare you insult best boy ?

  • @arongan8938
    @arongan8938 Před 3 lety +1291

    3:08 is just too perfect. High Priestess Tyrande, who is unmarried, has two lovers. The first one is Malfurion, the Archdruid, and the other one is a murloc, a freaking random murloc. And it looks like she can't decide who is better, because in her mind they are equally matched.

    • @andrascottier595
      @andrascottier595 Před 3 lety +278

      Illidan on suicide watch

    • @rishi7629
      @rishi7629 Před 3 lety +11

      What mod is that?

    • @budakbaongsiah
      @budakbaongsiah Před 3 lety +62

      @@rishi7629
      Guardians of Azeroth. You can no longer do that (at least if you turn the rule on).

    • @glarnboudin4462
      @glarnboudin4462 Před 2 lety +115

      I mean, props to the murloc for matching the bedroom prowess of a dude five times his size and with nature’s power at his fingertips.

    • @Vynirian
      @Vynirian Před 2 lety +13

      @@glarnboudin4462 yeah but he's always sleeping, thus the need for that side bitch

  • @Geekezf
    @Geekezf Před 2 lety +445

    I still remember my first game of CK2. I didn't manage my lineage, i finished with a blood line full of dwarves. Like, it was impossible to have "normal" kids thanks to incest. And since my family was spread all around the known world...In a few decades there was thousand of dwarves all around the kingdoms I.. litteraly created the dwarve race.

    • @Nyghtking
      @Nyghtking Před rokem +23

      But were they good craftsman?

    • @Geekezf
      @Geekezf Před rokem +63

      @@Nyghtking that.. they weren't.

    • @riccvven2078
      @riccvven2078 Před rokem +8

      You mean... Dwarf syndrome people?? ./.
      They may be dwarf people, but it doesn't mean they have also a dwarf soul

    • @TalosAcephalos
      @TalosAcephalos Před rokem +24

      ROCK AND STONE

    • @catwif
      @catwif Před rokem +18

      @@TalosAcephalosROCK AND STONE TO THE BONE

  • @aurex8937
    @aurex8937 Před 4 lety +2047

    "Dear Sister..."
    6 months later: "Petty King Sseth Aep Tzeentach has contracted syphilis."

  • @camilguzman6488
    @camilguzman6488 Před 4 lety +3947

    "My queen was like a bakery because she was getting bred"
    I shat myself laughing.

  • @SpartanOli
    @SpartanOli Před 3 lety +3433

    "The primary goal of CK2 and perhaps life itself isn't about living a good or bad life. It's about living an interesting life and inevitably to die an interesting death"
    "Take and do whatever you please in this life, because eventually it ends. And life can take anything and everything away from you. Except your stories, so better make them interesting, because we're all heading towards the same destination."
    That's actually very well written

    • @harbl99
      @harbl99 Před 3 lety +143

      Came here to laugh, not to feel. Damn you and your perfidious mercantile ways Sseth!

    • @samuelvivalette9938
      @samuelvivalette9938 Před 3 lety +96

      Take the A.D.D. medication and you'll be a published philosopher in no time

    • @DUKEHadToDoItToEm
      @DUKEHadToDoItToEm Před 3 lety +110

      Unless we're not all going to the same place, and the merchant guild goes to a different hotter and darker place
      And by that I mean back to the holy land of Israel of course

    • @2k1lex
      @2k1lex Před 3 lety +32

      @@DUKEHadToDoItToEm Based

    • @lersinclair5546
      @lersinclair5546 Před 3 lety +13

      Well, life can take everything from you, even your stories. Heard of Alzheimer's?

  • @thechrononaut1
    @thechrononaut1 Před 3 lety +141

    "Doom is not a very good book. In fact, it's not a book at all."
    My IQ just went up by 50 points.

  • @strangerakari2836
    @strangerakari2836 Před 4 lety +5723

    "Sister too old" - 17 years old
    "Marry her daughter" - 11 years old
    I'm not sure school taught me right arithmetics.

  • @denysalbesko6840
    @denysalbesko6840 Před 4 lety +3904

    my best game in ck 2 was when I had my child trained in combat since early age and he actually ended up getting all the best traits for it - eventually growing up to be very good at fighting and duels. So I kept duelling people non-stop for fun until he was in his late 20s to early 30s - then he got some kind of event where he fucked off to my enemies country and just started dueling all the top tier generals and princes for lolz. Eventually his proficiency started to increase despite him getting injured from fighting really fucking strong warriors, I thought he would die but he kept killing them even though he was wounded. That king's country had all its best warriors and his heirs decimated and killed by him in duels. Eventually he ended up with a legendary bloodline trait that increased his combat proficiency and dueling trait. He died of old age after being undefeated and best fucking warrior in the world. Even his sons could not surpass him when he was almost 80.

    • @woodlefoof2
      @woodlefoof2 Před 2 lety +837

      My best game was my first attempt at playing Muslims and decided to play as a count instead of a king, see how that was.
      Decided I would try out some of the DLC stuff I bought and joined satanism, made my son a lunatic, increased my wealth and landmass becoming the most powerful duke in Andalusia
      Until I got caught and sent to prison for sexual deviancy by engaging in a cuckold relationship where satan gave my wives his BDC I bought my ransom and the caliph decided to try taking my land, not without a fight he won’t, so I rebelled, just me against the whole caliphate.
      Or so I thought, apparently he tried taking a lot of land from the other dukes because it became a 7 way free for all civil war with the caliph possessing a grand total of 1 county against all of the dukes.
      then in the middle of it, i guess to spite the eventual winner he declared war on Italy while he was at it and then by sheer coincidence a crusade was declared on one of the kingdoms in the area,
      So thé during this 7 way free for all civil war the Christian and Muslim armies clashed to protect their religions
      All of my wives kids killed each other until one demon child remained. I then cast dark spells on him, making him a possessed lunatic and just made his life hell, no real reason for it.
      Eventually I came out on top during this civil war, and I executed the old caliph. Drove out the Christian menace and then invited a small girl into my court to give me immortality and she gave me a potion and I gave birth to myself but not before giving myself all of my land.
      I was then assassinated in my crib.

    • @lachkickxdxdxd
      @lachkickxdxdxd Před 2 lety +352

      @@woodlefoof2 most insane shit i’ve ever read

    • @MyVanir
      @MyVanir Před 2 lety +255

      @@lachkickxdxdxd Just another day in CK2.

    • @_Irrelevant
      @_Irrelevant Před rokem +39

      That's some Dunedain level stuff.

    • @quinnholloway5400
      @quinnholloway5400 Před rokem +40

      Goddamm!
      You had a child who was a complete boss!
      Your heir is a goddamm anime protagonist who becomes the old sensai figure

  • @lankyyyyyy
    @lankyyyyyy Před 3 lety +140

    8:27 - Portchester Castle, in case you were curious. There's quite an interesting timeline with its construction, since it started off as a Roman fort and evolved into what was effectively a Norman motte-and-bailey.

  • @Lee-yo5cl
    @Lee-yo5cl Před 2 lety +139

    Start playing as an Irish count. End up an Egyptian king. 10/10 BEST GAME EVER!

  • @VEE-EYE-EM
    @VEE-EYE-EM Před 4 lety +3477

    The first polish woman he ate was literally named “hope”

    • @NGMK
      @NGMK Před 4 lety +406

      *second
      First was Salomea. Which is a name taken from hebrew and means "peace".

    • @Oll1000
      @Oll1000 Před 4 lety +353

      Hope she tasted good.

    • @dosdoomguy2285
      @dosdoomguy2285 Před 4 lety +256

      That’s the first thing that disappears in Eastern Europe

    • @BlueBoy0
      @BlueBoy0 Před 4 lety +221

      @@dosdoomguy2285 The Polish?

    • @dosdoomguy2285
      @dosdoomguy2285 Před 4 lety +184

      Blue Boy I meant hope but yes the Polish too

  • @tysontronowicz3731
    @tysontronowicz3731 Před 4 lety +2653

    "My queen was like a bakery, because she was getting bred."

    • @cadens.308
      @cadens.308 Před 4 lety +166

      _distant wet slapping noises_

    • @harbl99
      @harbl99 Před 4 lety +25

      [Something suggestive about dough hooks to be finalized later]

    • @tornadoandy123
      @tornadoandy123 Před 4 lety +5

      @Mial isus
      I'll have 5.

    • @rejvaik00
      @rejvaik00 Před 4 lety +21

      She was overstocked on 5$ foot longs

    • @thetuerk
      @thetuerk Před 4 lety +2

      @Michael Woods double that shit

  • @johnstajduhar9617
    @johnstajduhar9617 Před 3 lety +53

    "I am not that good at the game" as he describes the PERFECT plague survival strategy. I never thought of using the spawn courtier decisions to feed my hunger!

  • @DUKEHadToDoItToEm
    @DUKEHadToDoItToEm Před 3 lety +76

    Crusader Kings, AKA that game that made my friend scream into the discord chat with 0 context "dammit I need my children to become diseased and die, there's too many of them!"

  • @alexyandfriends
    @alexyandfriends Před 4 lety +11653

    Says “We” after saying jews
    *new character info unlocked*

    • @Ezio999Auditore
      @Ezio999Auditore Před 4 lety +2064

      Sseth Wiki
      *Early life*

    • @Assault_Butter_Knife
      @Assault_Butter_Knife Před 4 lety +860

      @@MinchPlayer Either you're a genius detective or you pulled all of that out of your ass. The only conclusions I could draw from all the videos I've seen is that he lives in London, currently studying something (probably IT related) and has a history of shitposting on 4chan

    • @sambone2809
      @sambone2809 Před 4 lety +755

      @@Assault_Butter_Knife Don't know about Russia but he has talked about going to college, medicine, lives in uk and he says all the time he is a actual jew. ADHD is prob a guess

    • @hannibalburgers477
      @hannibalburgers477 Před 4 lety +1469

      @@MinchPlayer Wtf are you talking about, he is obviously an African ex-warlord who just wants that sweet sweet youtube money given from merchants guild to save her family from Puritant ex-Jihadists

    • @Assault_Butter_Knife
      @Assault_Butter_Knife Před 4 lety +160

      @@sambone2809 Damn I guess I should watch more of him to get this. Also replace ADHD with light autism and we have an agreement

  • @HellbirdIV
    @HellbirdIV Před 4 lety +898

    >Crusader Kings
    >Family Edition
    Well, we all know where this is going.

  • @picassoraptor1907
    @picassoraptor1907 Před 4 lety +1629

    "Luckily such atrocities are unlikely in modern times, due to modern healthcare and sanitation."
    That did not age well.

    • @beageler
      @beageler Před 4 lety +65

      Just because people start to realize that the USA have a third world health care system, doesn't mean that modern medicine isn't almost uncomparably better than medieval...

    • @beageler
      @beageler Před 4 lety +1

      @jocaguz18 Do you have a point?

    • @youcantbeatk7006
      @youcantbeatk7006 Před 4 lety +4

      Aged like milk.

    • @youcantbeatk7006
      @youcantbeatk7006 Před 4 lety +40

      @@beageler That's not the point. I'm dumbfounded people stupid as you can exist. The comment wasn't about the USA's healthcare, it was about China's sanitation. Also I'd like to add that the USA does not have anything close to third world heath care. We don't have crackheads running up to you trying to sell you used bandages when you scraped your knee.

    • @beageler
      @beageler Před 4 lety +1

      @jocaguz18 I just got what you wanted to say, that social distancing is an atrocity just like cannibalism. Well... I don't really know what to say to that :-/

  • @TheHamAssassin
    @TheHamAssassin Před 3 lety +39

    "So, you can loudly proclaim on your deathbed-"
    Headphones: "Battery Low Please Charge On Time"

  • @rezaalim8061
    @rezaalim8061 Před 4 lety +6176

    "Your wife is having affair with....your other wife"
    "God bless being a muslim"

    • @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933
      @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 Před 4 lety +217

      You can actually have up to 4 wives as a muslim,pagan,or eastern ruler

    • @CommanderM117
      @CommanderM117 Před 4 lety +197

      @@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 Gods bless being a Pagan

    • @SA-rb5xq
      @SA-rb5xq Před 4 lety +119

      This is best as a reformed Zunist. Then you get incest polygamy and your people loves you for it.

    • @theblackbaron4119
      @theblackbaron4119 Před 4 lety +57

      Absolutely Halal :))))

    • @sciuresci1403
      @sciuresci1403 Před 4 lety +40

      @@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 no only muslims have 4 wives. Pagans have concubines that you can divorce without any consequence. Muslims have to pay one time alimony.

  • @fxmaster2571
    @fxmaster2571 Před 4 lety +3936

    Not gonna lie, the idea that a king would lock himself into a court and begin cannibalising beautiful women out of the fear that the black death will kill him (but ultimately proven a foolish thought) sounds like both actual history or a killer book idea. Hell, you could rework it into a bluebeard fairytale

    • @aemonloper1346
      @aemonloper1346 Před 2 lety +301

      It sounds like something a dark souls npc would tell you through cryptic riddles

    • @dainyvick8262
      @dainyvick8262 Před 2 lety +135

      Gives me The masquerade of the red death vibes.

    • @aidanderson53X
      @aidanderson53X Před 2 lety +85

      @@aemonloper1346 Aldrich's backstory from ds3 confirmed.

    • @Tristan-42069
      @Tristan-42069 Před 2 lety +32

      That kinda storytelling sounds like stuff from Kafka

    • @mostweasel9550
      @mostweasel9550 Před rokem +14

      It is strikingly similar to the plot of Delicatessen

  • @ianalivio4006
    @ianalivio4006 Před 2 lety +62

    2 years ago, this video was my gateway into sseth's cesspit of game reviews
    my only regrets are that we dont have more of this madman's content and that im far too poor to join the merchant's guild

  • @aroventalmav888
    @aroventalmav888 Před 2 lety +65

    I remember my first horde run. I reformed Tengri to have hungry gods and figured out the maximum amount of sacrifices at once on my computer was 30ish. It made quite the sound.

  • @evertime123
    @evertime123 Před 4 lety +2048

    "Invite beautiful women to the court to be eaten by the court"
    WHAT IS THIS, DARKEST DUNGEON?

    • @MetalAcrean
      @MetalAcrean Před 4 lety +125

      The lavish became mundane

    • @PCGonline
      @PCGonline Před 4 lety +78

      Dismas resolve... *irrational*

    • @Dickstick
      @Dickstick Před 4 lety +82

      Many fall in the face of chaos, but not this one. Not today.

    • @SunchaserKandri
      @SunchaserKandri Před 4 lety +48

      Continue the onslaught!
      Destroy. Them. All.

    • @kielbasamage
      @kielbasamage Před 4 lety +8

      *Whistles*

  • @MichaelFoschi
    @MichaelFoschi Před 4 lety +8687

    Sseth's power is so strong, he made the game free on steam 4 days later. The Merchant guild power is overwhelming

    • @Alignn
      @Alignn Před 4 lety +258

      So how about that CKIII teaser

    • @willwrightcreatorofsims9813
      @willwrightcreatorofsims9813 Před 4 lety +179

      The trailer is vague and shows no gameplay. I am disappointed.

    • @kekero540
      @kekero540 Před 4 lety +142

      Coffee Creamerstein
      The screenshots look pretty gay. The artwork is gone and replaced with 3D animated characters

    • @kekero540
      @kekero540 Před 4 lety +2

      Chase Wilson
      Nah that was a rumor that wasn’t true

    • @gabrielnieves3972
      @gabrielnieves3972 Před 4 lety +87

      Sseth is truly a god amongst men. Allah bless him

  • @patbaitman3357
    @patbaitman3357 Před 3 lety +153

    Broke: Watching Sseth for the review
    W O K E: Observing Sseth's tastes in women through his cropped /trash/ folder

  • @PanjaRoseGold
    @PanjaRoseGold Před 3 lety +21

    7:22 is latin for "I saw, I came, I went".
    Let's ponder on that a moment.

    • @PanjaRoseGold
      @PanjaRoseGold Před 3 lety +1

      @Melvin Garcia Well I don't speak French anyway

    • @qusai05
      @qusai05 Před 7 dny

      It's actually " I saw, I conquered, I came"

  • @firockfinion3326
    @firockfinion3326 Před 4 lety +5568

    >Genghis Khan as a teenage girl conquering the world with her sorority.
    So he turned the world into an anime?

    • @ShadowWolfRising
      @ShadowWolfRising Před 4 lety +488

      I can hear the Anime writers furiously writing down notes.

    • @SuperExodian
      @SuperExodian Před 4 lety +246

      omfg, i want it... GIVE ME FEMALE GHENGIS KHAN THE ANIME!

    • @EinFelsbrocken
      @EinFelsbrocken Před 4 lety +413

      "Khan-Chaaaaan~~ The chinese are rallying agaaain-dayo!"
      *Khan-Chan turns around in an epic way; while the camera zooms in while counterrotating to her movement; and then a jumpcut to a close-up of her mouth; where her stoic expression slowly gives way to a confident grin*
      "Saddle the horses; _MONGIRLIAN STEPPE TRIBE SISTER CIRCLE YAAAAHH!_ "

    • @darkrider1878
      @darkrider1878 Před 4 lety +226

      *FATE FRANCHISE*
      :Let us introduce our self's.

    • @reklin
      @reklin Před 4 lety +124

      @@EinFelsbrocken
      Voiced by Aoi Yuki.

  • @ZeMalta
    @ZeMalta Před 4 lety +3367

    Sseth finally makes a Crusader Kings II review.
    -couple of days later...
    *Crusader Kings III is announced with an infanticide trailer*

  • @ledraken3388
    @ledraken3388 Před 3 lety +110

    ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ ᵉˣⁱˢᵗ ᵈᵒᵒᵐ ⁿᵒᵛᵉˡ ˢᵉʳⁱᵉˢ

    • @SamFreelancePolice
      @SamFreelancePolice Před 3 lety +24

      I read them! The first one is actually good, but the second one steers so far off course and is just stupid.

  • @ederanged7960
    @ederanged7960 Před 4 lety +46

    Damn! This whole time a game that allows me to promote a horse to cardinal, marry one of it's devoted Catholic appointees, birth a Human-Horse hybrid and ascend my spawn to immortality was right under my nose. Thanks Crusader Kings and thankyou Seth. xx

  • @mayy6758
    @mayy6758 Před 4 lety +904

    "life can take anything and everything away from you, except your stories"
    -Lord Tzeentach, 2019

  • @aurex8937
    @aurex8937 Před 4 lety +588

    "Meat is back on the menu, boys!" ~Petty King Sseth Aep Tzeentach, circa 892AD

    • @Nudhul
      @Nudhul Před 4 lety +3

      @Joseph Ellis Yes, but specifically the Saruman-loyal uruk-hai killing the lower orcs for defying mission orders.

  • @teekay851
    @teekay851 Před 3 lety +23

    Honestly a work of art, i have never witnessed such an incredible review of a game before.

  • @catwif
    @catwif Před rokem +12

    going through a shitty period in my life and the ending excerpt really hits different. i watched you since i was like 13 and now im a grown adult, during this time your videos never failed to make me laugh. thank you seth.

  • @ZeroSTF
    @ZeroSTF Před 4 lety +5000

    "Divorce your sister because she's too old" *age:17*

    • @catelyn719
      @catelyn719 Před 4 lety +686

      If she doesn't have a child at 16, there's no hope. She's obviously barren.

    • @EinFelsbrocken
      @EinFelsbrocken Před 4 lety +494

      @@catelyn719
      - probably 80% of medieval doctors

    • @statiksea
      @statiksea Před 4 lety +3

      Appropriate profile pic

    • @SaraSara-oe6il
      @SaraSara-oe6il Před 4 lety +71

      @RexXflash Allah be praised.
      Ish-Allah

    • @SaraSara-oe6il
      @SaraSara-oe6il Před 4 lety +70

      @RexXflash I'll take that as a sarcastic remark.

  • @solidboss1000
    @solidboss1000 Před 4 lety +4565

    "Marry ur sister, divorce ur sister, and then marry ur sister's daughter"
    Hol up

    • @reklin
      @reklin Před 4 lety +359

      Then you realize she's actually a bear, so you divorce her, send her to marry the Aztec invaders, and hope she eats their emperor.

    • @wulfgarpl
      @wulfgarpl Před 4 lety +317

      Don't worry, it's not against the law. You are the law.

    • @gestaltengine6369
      @gestaltengine6369 Před 4 lety +40

      incesption

    • @harbl99
      @harbl99 Před 4 lety +118

      True dominance is expressed by being the only male ancestor for 5 generations.

    • @Xtoxinlolinecronomicon
      @Xtoxinlolinecronomicon Před 4 lety +24

      You must be new to CK.

  • @orboakin8074
    @orboakin8074 Před 2 lety +7

    10:00 I discovered this OST via Kings & Generals Mongols video in 2018. I liked it so much and even asked them twice for the song's name to no further response. I gave up on ever finding the song until today when I was watching this review of yours and I suddenly heard the music playing! Then I searched and found this. Thanks for uploading👍

  • @maxducks2001
    @maxducks2001 Před 2 lety +66

    9:30 Nothing like sacrificing your 1 year old daughter to Hela, and then consuming her organs to absorb her life force, extending your life by a pitiful amount, only for you to be killed by complete accident.

  • @PanzerIVAE
    @PanzerIVAE Před 4 lety +2429

    "Infantecide is not something I support, It's something I recommend"
    Beautiful

  • @betternoun6435
    @betternoun6435 Před 4 lety +1484

    “Infanticide is not something I support, it something I recommend”
    - Sseth, 2019

    • @reklin
      @reklin Před 4 lety +45

      You're quoting him like that's not something a thousand other CK2 players haven't said before.
      There's a very good reason we're banned from crossposting to r/NoContext.

    • @gamerito100
      @gamerito100 Před 4 lety +17

      "Why can't I kill my kids?" Every player with too many kids and gavelkind

    • @jeck988
      @jeck988 Před 4 lety +1

      Sir Jocas El Jocoso they’re a mod for that I recommend it

    • @Traece
      @Traece Před 4 lety +1

      No matter how much you may want to love and care for your innocent and ambitious little pixels, nothing will strip morals and ethics away from you like the succession warning hovering at the top of your screen and ever-reminding you that upon death your generations of blobbing will be instantly undone.

  • @theblackbaron4119
    @theblackbaron4119 Před 3 lety +1

    This review and your Space station 13 video, both brought me so much joy :) thank you. This is hilarious.

  • @nicopootato2330
    @nicopootato2330 Před 3 lety +21

    We need a compilation of Sseth's IRL clips, they are too funny.

  • @kajjez
    @kajjez Před 4 lety +1206

    Fun fact. The death sound at 13:11 is voice acted by Fred Wester, former CEO and Chariman of Paradox Interactive.

    • @kajjez
      @kajjez Před 4 lety +251

      In fact, almost all the death sounds are done by Paradox employees.

    • @kajjez
      @kajjez Před 4 lety +170

      Also, one of the CK2/3 devs did actually work on the Lego games.

    • @Chordus_Gaius
      @Chordus_Gaius Před 4 lety +75

      @@kajjez Now that's info.

    • @kurtcobain279489
      @kurtcobain279489 Před 4 lety +151

      Kudos to the actress who did the crushed to death screams, mixed with the foley sounds they are definitely the most intense of the death noises.

    • @mainaccount3087
      @mainaccount3087 Před 4 lety +27

      Um. Former?

  • @TheOneAndOnlyFCK
    @TheOneAndOnlyFCK Před 4 lety +1050

    “Your wife was having an affaire with your other wife...yes you have two . God bless being a Muslim “
    Fcking made me spit my tea

    • @gestaltengine6369
      @gestaltengine6369 Před 4 lety +50

      thank Christ for muslims

    • @dosdoomguy2285
      @dosdoomguy2285 Před 4 lety +16

      Yeah because you can stone your lesbian adulter wife’s for breaking to of Allahs commandments in Sharia law.

    • @Casanuda
      @Casanuda Před 4 lety

      Why? Did a goose ring a big pointless bell near you?

    • @crawlingboy
      @crawlingboy Před 4 lety +5

      @Big Bad Black Dick you won't really mind us cause we are pretty much sane my dude

    • @crawlingboy
      @crawlingboy Před 4 lety +5

      You mean allhamdullilah being a muslim for better accuracy

  • @AllenorLP
    @AllenorLP Před 4 lety +17

    Pope Stephanus:
    Charlemagne: "I've come for your pickle"

  • @Null_Experis
    @Null_Experis Před 3 lety +12

    Little life protip here Sseth, but the best way to preserve a fast food burger is to remove anything that isn't meat, cheese, bread, or condiments and freeze it.
    Then, when you want to eat it, you put it in a bamboo steamer with a sheet of lightly greased heavy duty foil under it, and steam it until hot.
    You might think this results in a soggy burger, but it doesn't. The steam refreshes the stale bread and the foil on the bottom prevents the steam from soaking into the bottom bun, while the top bun is free to vent excess moisture naturally. Additionally, the steam-cooked foil will crisp up the bottom of the bun. Afterwards, you replace any missing lettuce or tomatoes with fresh produce from your fridge.

  • @Dolando_Brando
    @Dolando_Brando Před 4 lety +719

    "We've been expelled so often, you really won't hurt our feelings if you do it again."
    "We"
    🤔

    • @Baleur
      @Baleur Před 4 lety +219

      This nigerian prince has a complex ancestry xD

    • @Voult_Bioy
      @Voult_Bioy Před 4 lety +73

      Dolando Brando Sseth is an ethiopian jew

    • @WhosDnisify
      @WhosDnisify Před 4 lety +18

      Gas

    • @souldry
      @souldry Před 4 lety +7

      My heart is a fedpost
      That’s alright, one day you’ll finally have a solution to that problem.

    • @Drakyry
      @Drakyry Před 4 lety +43

      He's russian-jewish. He said as much on his discord

  • @mungsmemekitchen6277
    @mungsmemekitchen6277 Před 4 lety +1721

    The death sounds are amazing when you're doing some kind of mass killing (ie religious deportation) and it plays 9000 instances of random deaths at once. It's glorious for a half a second before your game crashes

    • @a-drewg1716
      @a-drewg1716 Před 4 lety +244

      or when your prisons are crowded so you hit that magical button. Then you get 100+ death sounds from men to women to children and it is a beautiful symphony of voices screaming out until.... silence. I swear I am not psychopathic.

    • @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933
      @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 Před 4 lety +56

      Sometimes to let out some steam I just mass execute my prisoners. Fuck the council, I am king and I want them dead

    • @pedrolmlkzk
      @pedrolmlkzk Před 3 lety +97

      @@a-drewg1716 you are just a normal ck2 player, beyond any psychopathlogies

    • @LemursManLemurs1
      @LemursManLemurs1 Před rokem +13

      @@pedrolmlkzk Our goals are beyond even our own comprehension. Capable of complex thought, yet entirely ruled by our primitive drives.

    • @dylanbell268
      @dylanbell268 Před rokem +1

      @@a-drewg1716 someone finally put it into words

  • @andrewryan3084
    @andrewryan3084 Před 2 lety +2

    Your talk about life was weirdly inspirative, so much so that i've decided to change my life a bit.
    Thanks Seth-

  • @huggelion
    @huggelion Před 2 lety +8

    9:00 that has not aged well

  • @ipimees
    @ipimees Před 4 lety +785

    I lost it when he seamlessly switched to warcraft characters

    • @Envy_Dragon
      @Envy_Dragon Před 4 lety +28

      WC3 Human music was also playing during the seduction of the pope.

    • @CabezasDePescado
      @CabezasDePescado Před 4 lety +2

      yeah i was like wtf is this a Warcraft game?

    • @avtuunainen
      @avtuunainen Před 4 lety +17

      @@CabezasDePescado It's a mod. There are mods for everything for CK2.

    • @PanzerIVAE
      @PanzerIVAE Před 4 lety +7

      @@CabezasDePescado There's just a very good Warcraft mod for it
      Last time I played I was an all powerful Murloch Lich that bitchslapped both the Alliance and Scourge alongside eating everyone and everthing I can get in my prison
      It's great!

  • @2Potates
    @2Potates Před 4 lety +796

    "Infanticide is not something i support, it's something i recommend."

    • @shurik121
      @shurik121 Před 4 lety +35

      Yes, it's one of the best ways to obtain someone else's land. Just murder everyone until their dynasty is no more.

    • @sammaxgoof8507
      @sammaxgoof8507 Před 4 lety +7

      MrPotates King late Abortion from the hangar kingdom

    • @citus333
      @citus333 Před 4 lety +2

      @@shurik121 You are goddamn right

    • @alhassani626
      @alhassani626 Před 4 lety +5

      spoken like a true jew

    • @gabrielinostroza4989
      @gabrielinostroza4989 Před 4 lety +1

      We gotta eat the babies -Sseth

  • @martiantony777
    @martiantony777 Před 2 lety

    Thank you Seth, it was a while since I laughed so hard!

  • @greenonions1808
    @greenonions1808 Před 3 měsíci +4

    I remember when McDonald's dollar menu had things below 3 dollars😢

  • @sawyervuorensyrja4703
    @sawyervuorensyrja4703 Před 4 lety +384

    “Infanticide is not something I support. It’s something I recommend.”

  • @KingMoon110
    @KingMoon110 Před 4 lety +4222

    *"So, i've married a horse and produced an entire Lineage who did not care for the ways of man"*
    This is the best- most disgusting thing i'ver heard.

  • @pangoprime8674
    @pangoprime8674 Před 3 lety +2

    My God, this review is a glorious work of art! LOL!

  • @NotOnLand
    @NotOnLand Před 3 měsíci +4

    Forget the bats, forget the wet market. Sseth tried to warn us about the _real_ danger and nobody listened.

  • @johndxdxd
    @johndxdxd Před 4 lety +1988

    Not even a minute in and the words "jew" and "incest" are said. This gonna be good

    • @wesker919
      @wesker919 Před 4 lety +155

      Don't worry. They're so used to it, it won't hurt their feelings.

    • @raspberrypie1706
      @raspberrypie1706 Před 4 lety +42

      @@wesker919 oy vey

    • @Griff00
      @Griff00 Před 4 lety +9

      @Mial isus but sseth admitted he was jewish

    • @Nolan431
      @Nolan431 Před 4 lety +8

      @Mial isus ur gay

    • @koilamaoh4238
      @koilamaoh4238 Před 4 lety +4

      All Religions include incest and pedos, its prety common. Nothing surprising about it.

  • @AMnotQ
    @AMnotQ Před 4 lety +496

    “Excuse me ladies, we’ll have to put our extreme coitus on hold - a Sseth video has been posted, and The Guild will flog me if I miss another upload.”

  • @bionicdragon5
    @bionicdragon5 Před 3 lety +10

    Sseth is the only person I can think of who would put this much effort into recreating Equestria in Crusader Kings 2.

  • @zeromailss
    @zeromailss Před 4 lety +16

    9:05 "Luckily such horrific events are unlikely in modern time because of modern healthcare and sanitation."
    Let's see if this is still the case in a few months

  • @FourOfClubs
    @FourOfClubs Před 4 lety +299

    "Fluffy organic matter."

    • @BlueTemplar15
      @BlueTemplar15 Před 4 lety +10

      Still better that that god-damned squirming organic matter that ends up flying away that happens in the summer because you recycle most of your trash and so only rarely throw out the organic garbage...

    • @gameler9121
      @gameler9121 Před 4 lety +2

      ​@@BlueTemplar15 Elaborate.

  • @yungmythologist
    @yungmythologist Před 4 lety +624

    This is what I pay for. To see my name scroll past at lightspeed to yoda CBTing himself.
    Also, a game review, I guess.

    • @TeamOneDay
      @TeamOneDay Před 4 lety +16

      It would be a waste of money if we didn't get some Yoda CBT.

    • @TheRealRusDaddy
      @TheRealRusDaddy Před 4 lety +4

      I too enjoy watching my dollar fly by on the screen

    • @Thomas-sv2ez
      @Thomas-sv2ez Před 4 lety +6

      Even at that speed it takes 2 min and 30 secs to go through the whole thing. The merchant guild is getting bigger by the day.

    • @blackwolfrules56
      @blackwolfrules56 Před 4 lety

      CBT has just been all over my life recently

    • @planescaped
      @planescaped Před 4 lety

      Sseth has a fuckton of patrons...

  • @PandiiMan
    @PandiiMan Před 3 lety

    What a beautiful essay... Truly inspiring

  • @danteredgrave5238
    @danteredgrave5238 Před 2 lety +5

    I honestly got a laughing fit after the “genghis khan an her teenage sorority” part. Priceless 🤣

  • @Bohnant
    @Bohnant Před 4 lety +440

    God, I've been a Sseth's fan enough to suspect that that USB key really exists

    • @crybirb
      @crybirb Před 4 lety +111

      There's absolutely no reason for it to not exist and he do that. I really believe it's out there in London, waiting for a fan to pick up and upload the pic of it on Reddit.

    • @leepcool
      @leepcool Před 4 lety +98

      im almost autistic enough to go and check lol

    • @leonardofernandez6488
      @leonardofernandez6488 Před 4 lety +18

      I would bet that it definetly exists.

    • @leepcool
      @leepcool Před 4 lety +60

      I'm cycling to where he said now

    • @lolpl0000
      @lolpl0000 Před 4 lety +17

      Marcos Wicket it’s in London though right

  • @TopKunt
    @TopKunt Před 4 lety +943

    "being gay is pretty gay, but not as gay as marriage"
    I'm gonna use that, you can't stop me

    • @RecoveringLoLAddict
      @RecoveringLoLAddict Před 4 lety +27

      But...
      Seth is both gae and married
      *HE IS DOUBLE GEI*

    • @kneep1111
      @kneep1111 Před 4 lety +42

      @Focus Support pls Don’t worry, the two gays cancel out

    • @exu_skully8728
      @exu_skully8728 Před 4 lety

      foda

    • @Circ00mspice
      @Circ00mspice Před 4 lety +26

      He must be utra gay for being married to a trap bodypillow

    • @RedMaitreya
      @RedMaitreya Před 4 lety +6

      @@Circ00mspice If we do the math he is indeed ultra gay

  • @Elspin
    @Elspin Před 3 lety

    Wasn't ready for such an inspiring speech in a video that contains strategies for marrying horses. 11/10 incredible work

  • @niklavsmelnbardis403
    @niklavsmelnbardis403 Před 4 lety +1

    Discover this guy high and I didn't knew what I needed to have this in my life, it's amazing!

  • @spootato
    @spootato Před 4 lety +232

    the man, the legend
    the only person capable of speaking in a way that auto-generated subtitles accually work

  • @The105ODST
    @The105ODST Před 4 lety +314

    When the family tree looks like a Christmas wreath.

    • @Murmarine
      @Murmarine Před 4 lety +4

      When the family tree is a straigth line

  • @OFKVT
    @OFKVT Před 2 lety +6

    This is hands down the best game review ever be ever watched. Infanticide, eating people, and he even became Mr hands for a minute there.

  • @theblackbaron4119
    @theblackbaron4119 Před 4 lety

    Thank you, I haven't laughed so hard in a while. Bass boosted Lego Yoda death sound is going to be my new notification sound.

  • @wittyreviewer
    @wittyreviewer Před 4 lety +413

    Starting CK2: I'm gonna raise a noble Empire!
    6 hours in to CK2: How do I marry my cousin who is also my daughter?

    • @johnmorgan215
      @johnmorgan215 Před 4 lety +2

      This, only every time I start CK2.

    • @wittyreviewer
      @wittyreviewer Před 4 lety +9

      @Sad Phrogé There is

    • @Kuolonen
      @Kuolonen Před 4 lety +9

      @Sad Phrogé There's mods for that. You wont find them in steam workshop though.

    • @munat6662
      @munat6662 Před 4 lety +1

      @@Kuolonen Where do you find them then? Is there like a Lover's Lab for this game? Asking for my penis

    • @huitzilopochli1976
      @huitzilopochli1976 Před 4 lety

      Sad Phrogé Dark World Extras my guy

  • @vidmastereon
    @vidmastereon Před 4 lety +331

    "Infanticide is not something I support, it's something I recommend"
    -Moloch would like to know your location

  • @yeldosorazbek4545
    @yeldosorazbek4545 Před 4 lety +14

    OMG! that is my country! I can't believe it! I even know where is this market ! I EVEN WERE THERE! Words at background: Жиһаз) Time: 1:00

  • @novesspl5061
    @novesspl5061 Před 4 lety

    I saw fragments of sengoku rance gameplay. You my friend, have earned my eternal respect

  • @ashura9699
    @ashura9699 Před 4 lety +1369

    God’s in his heaven, all’s right with the world.

  • @michaelkelley1787
    @michaelkelley1787 Před 4 lety +2003

    Sseth playing Stellaris would be a experience I wish to witness.

    • @mmouse1886
      @mmouse1886 Před 4 lety +69

      @@lordmunchkin8396 Not to mention how Stellaris Changed from being completely standalone from all the other Paradox Grand Strategy games to now just a poorly made Viccy II Mod where the AI is even more broken that usual and you may or may not be in space. but for all intense and purposes you might as well be on a singular planet for all of being an Interstellar Empire is.

    • @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933
      @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 Před 4 lety +47

      Warhammer references...Mostly Warhammer references

    • @m.thorton9305
      @m.thorton9305 Před 3 lety +37

      with furry and alien hentai mods of course

    • @harbl99
      @harbl99 Před 3 lety +15

      @@lordmunchkin8396 Greetings from late 2020 and the era of the "Loading: 30% ... 30% ... 30%" debacle. The game reloads from scratch for each and every mod you have active. End my suffer.

    • @kraanz
      @kraanz Před 3 lety +8

      @@mmouse1886 "...for all intense and purposes..." Brilliant. Only "for all intense porpoises" sounds dumber than that.

  • @anartismal
    @anartismal Před 4 lety +3

    the ending monologue was actually pretty work, words to live by

  • @skleem4871
    @skleem4871 Před 2 lety +1

    Pretty succinct great job. Looking forward to more realistic views on games

  • @jackdoe336
    @jackdoe336 Před 4 lety +571

    "Pøpe 🅱️rancis, I cräve yuor forbidden pøpsicle." ‐ Charlemagne Tha God

  • @beatingstuff88
    @beatingstuff88 Před 4 lety +1154

    Sseth: "i cant recommend it due to the price tag"
    Me: "Laughs in 15$ humble bundle deal that included all the major dlc's"

    • @ujug.g5592
      @ujug.g5592 Před 4 lety +443

      me: "Laughs in 0$ deal spend on pirate bay

    • @durrrhurrrderpderpderp9932
      @durrrhurrrderpderpderp9932 Před 4 lety +49

      @@ujug.g5592 cs.rin.ru is a good site for it as well

    • @Nayckron
      @Nayckron Před 4 lety +10

      I bought the game and five mayor DLC for 1 Buck, lol.

    • @Sassy_Witch
      @Sassy_Witch Před 4 lety +75

      I just paid for the base game and pirated all the DLCs. Makes it possible to use Mods

    • @hectorandem2944
      @hectorandem2944 Před 4 lety +41

      "These ones right here, officer" 👮

  • @SiergiejLowca
    @SiergiejLowca Před 3 lety +2

    I like how at 1:39 you include gameplay from the single Best Grand Strategy Game of All Time, Sengoku Rance.

  • @Aids-ud7uu
    @Aids-ud7uu Před rokem

    Honestly your review are the best.

  • @DatCameraMON
    @DatCameraMON Před 4 lety +3286

    Me: "Wait, there is a World of Warcraft CKII mod?"
    Sseth: **shows a murloc asking for Jaina's hand in marriage. It is accepted.**
    Me: "What the fu-"

    • @HackionSTx
      @HackionSTx Před 4 lety +228

      Marryloc marries Jaina Proudmrgl

    • @Mariodash23
      @Mariodash23 Před 4 lety +258

      I can hear Arthas screaming internally in the Shadowlands.

    • @sorrowsinme
      @sorrowsinme Před 4 lety +54

      Jesus!! I can hear every fan boy screaming because of the lore.... Damn... I need to play this, now

    • @luscinius2933
      @luscinius2933 Před 4 lety +105

      @@sorrowsinme I don't think anything can be worse, than what Blizzard already doing with the universe since...idk, Lich King?

    • @claytonkickflip7595
      @claytonkickflip7595 Před 4 lety +6

      @@luscinius2933 People like you ruin games. Just so you know.

  • @josephbeckworth7339
    @josephbeckworth7339 Před 4 lety +445

    This was just a giant ad for McDonald’s...

    • @neliz2k
      @neliz2k Před 4 lety +19

      Oh, and here I was just about ready to commit adultery on my sister-wife with her youngest daughter.

    • @YuffX
      @YuffX Před 4 lety +5

      Merchant Guild has no shame

    • @dddmemaybe
      @dddmemaybe Před 4 lety +1

      did you even look at those burgers. I'm gonna hurl lol.

  • @kiancavella
    @kiancavella Před 4 lety +5

    9:32 "If a new plague were to start" aged like mold

  • @fitmotheyap
    @fitmotheyap Před rokem +4

    12:34 great steam background

  • @bjarkiorleifsson6100
    @bjarkiorleifsson6100 Před 4 lety +254

    Not a cell phone in sight, just people enjoying living in the moment.

  • @chadthundercock7897
    @chadthundercock7897 Před 4 lety +321

    My wife, Glitterhoof the immortal god-horse, and I enjoyed this.

  • @user-ny1jn1uu7y
    @user-ny1jn1uu7y Před 3 lety +5

    After reading the "Diamond Sword" reference in the title, I can now officially state that Sseth being a Tobuscus fan is part of the lore.

  • @Typanion
    @Typanion Před 4 lety +3

    The video description is underrated