High Value Frames: Make People Respect You
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- čas přidán 20. 10. 2019
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Game of Thrones: How Power Really Works:
• The Frame Game: How To...
Harvey Specter isn't exactly the perfect man. He can be rude, emotionally stunted and sarcastic. But even though he is flawed and of course fictional, his portrayal can teach you quite a bit about confidence and power in the real world.
So in this video you’ll learn concrete steps and deeper mindsets for conveying a deep sense of confidence and power.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:48 - #1: Your body language & tone.
4:29 - #2: Attack the framing, not the content of the insult.
5:52 - #3: Don’t be there to impress.
8:09 - #4: Learn to become an expert at framing your options in any particular scenario.
9:20 - #5: Create options for yourself.
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#HarveySpecter #CharismaOnCommand
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Me: "Here's whats going to happen, you give me a raise and..."
Boss: "You're fired"
My reply: You just screwed yourself for the next two months. Good luck training that army 1 week wonders to do for a day half assed what I did for years with awesomeness. Enjoy your shlubs!
lol
They key is to be so good that they cant fire you
@@LawinReborn I agree, if you consolidate your power base early on, then you'll be too good to be fired and firing you would dilute the quality of your business firm
This phrase demands a crucial position in the workplace. Referring that you are among the pivotal element in the office ,this line works like a charm. Anything can be imposed or said but depends on what is your status and how you make it sound to the listener.
Stay calm when others are freaking out. Learn to control your emotions.
Better yet; detach your mind, from your emotions.
Look at your emotions from outside, evaluate them. Have a quick think if reacting instinctively (with emotions) will help you in this situation. You will find quite often there is a better way, with more calm and reason :)
You can't control your emotions, but you can control how you act
@@elektrotehnik94 Exactly this
And do the oposite when they being calm. They will take you serious and start thinking you must be upset because they do something wrong even they don't.
Yet another basic line or quote from self-promoting guru. Get outta here
when harvey mentions the queen of england without knowing that she’s rachel’s soon to be grandma in law
They knew. It's called predictive programming.
@@josmarleiva6845 and yours is called "mental illness"
Really guys
@@exnihilonihilfit6316 that made me laugh out loud
@@josmarleiva6845 At least you are awake.
Harvey is the definition of confidence - this man should’ve won an award for this show!
And hes so hot🥲
Definitely agree
What show is it?
@@aniket987 Suits
Fuckin crazy show
I named my eraser "Confidence
."
Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.
I'm about to make your eraser even smaller critiquing your lame joke.
W0W... Your slick!
loser!
Actualy making mistakes and learning from them can make you better at something and thus more confident
@@Bakwazan it was a joke man
This joke is actually funny. Poor the bitter betties with no sense of humour
To build real self confidence that is effortless and lasting, one must cultivate a sense of freedom and control. This comes from cultivating habits of looking inward, becoming independent, and working on improving oneself in all important arenas.
That's a FACT! How do you start and complete those things and consistently keep those habit's.
@@JJoh4040 Its simple, but not easy. The starting point is embracing the uncomfortable. The fixing point is feeling comfortable being uncomfortable.
this is the reason I do not like this video. You state an obvious and true fact, whereas this video concentrates on a fictional character with written decisions.
I think it's also important to reflect on things that you have been taught and accepted as beliefs that may not be beneficial to you. I feel like we were closest to freedom as children, we just needed to develop introspection and empathy, but then society sabotages all of it and tries to make us into "Adults", so that you can be controlled.
@@ConfidenceCreator2 How do you go through life if you don't care what people think though? Are you going to be a hermit?
Some NOTES here
1. CONTROL THE FRAME WITH BODY LANGUAGE & TONE: If someone talk to you aggressively make sure you don’t respond to their emotional state. Stay cool, calm & Respond not rising to it. Which means you set the frame not other person
2. WHEN IN CONFRONTATION, ATTACK THE FRAME, NOT THE CONTENT: The less you focus on defending yourself the better your banter will become. Don’t try to win every critical exchange.
3. HAVE THE BELIEF THAT YOU ARE NOT THERE TO IMPRESS: If you are sells person or on a client facing role if you shift your mindset from I am selling this person or I work for this person to this person need me to partner with them. This means you will push back when needed, you will give better advice.
4. BECOME AN EXPERT AT FRAMING PEOPLE’S OPTIONS: You don’t need to have total control just control the options and the person who controls the options controls the outcome
5. CREATE OPTIONS FOR YOURSELF: Believe & show that you can always get different path, client, job if someone closes the door for you.
My crazy passion is to share summaries like started doing it on my channel with PDF summaries✌
Lets create options for ourselves to show extreme confidence😃
Thanks man! Nice channel, keep going
Parasitism is not a good look for a life "coach."
i've been waiting for your summary :D
ThAnK you 😃
Thank you!!!
Do a character breakdown of confidence on Peaky Blinder's Thomas Shelby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vekaash A have a death stare
Matthew Barry he’s an INTJ that’s why he seems emotionless until you get to know his character better
YES PLEASE DO THIS!!!
THIS
YES!
The Key to Harvey's Charisma is the Work underpinning it.
Not just his Intelligence, or Talent, but All the Hard work he put in to get there, and his knowledge of his Chosen profession.
Confidence is a LOT Easier to have when you Know what you're talking about, and can PROVE It.
Harvey single-handedly makes that show worth watching imo. Surprised it took this long for there to be a breakdown for him. Great video.
Harvey? You mean Jessica?
Ikr!
I wouldn't watch if Harvey wasn't in it neither.
Louis is my favourite character
@@rory9659i think louis and harvey are the real stars of the show
I've literally been asking for this breakdown for the past 2 years. Charlie you hero. Now you've got to do Jessica Pearson. Arguably the most dominant female character on television.
Me too, and video about Jessica is a great idea!
@@edwarddean9554 Donna's confidence is pretty up there as well
Not arguably bruh...its period!
@@ryancheng1312 Donna is A-mazing!
@Not Convinced it's not
Please do a video on Thomas Shelby at some point.
Yes please we all need that.
Asap
Best. Idea. Ever
Good suggestion
YES PLEASE
”see that’s funny because” are the best catchphrases in this series
Please tell me the name of this series?
@@vipuljhakal7403 suits
Lol thats so true, thanks for bringing that to light for me
*Warm and strength = confidence*
Cold and strong = arrogance
Warm and weak = pitty
Cold and weak. = lost cause
Anna 123 well you got to look at Jouhzu videos then to get some inspiration
sounds like a buch of bull to me. Calm and layed back is a sign of confidence. Of true confidence.
Stephane Gregory Dan okay bro
warm and strength= Kamado Tanjirou
Confidence Creator How so?
You assert dominance over a situation by acknowledging that you don't control what happens to you, but you do control how you respond to it.
'The less you focus on defending yourself, the better your banter will become'. Love this!
Can you make an analysis of confidence for Tommy Shelby from Peaky Blinders?
yes!!
@@ConfidenceCreator2 I'm so entertained by the fact that you posted this comment even though you said never mind even while writing it. Like, it's not even edited. That's just adorable, and I often do similar things and just leave my thoughts there in a thread even when I realize I was mistaken or just needed to look something up, so I love this
Great analysis. I just finished Suits, a bit late, but i gotta say, Harvey and Jessica are among or even the 2 most well written characters in TV series. Those that you can learn tons of things from
Think harveys the real Mvp, Mike got the plot going on and Luis brings entertainment, tgese three for me have the spotlight
Wow, this channel just got litt up!
underrated comment
😑😂
xD
Please do one on Donna! She’s the only one who really stands up to Harvey, and we need some more female analysis :)
Shut the foook up
Yes, please!!!
Donna is hot.
I know right! There is not enough female personalities on this channel!
@ioana ilea I am so confused. You're agreeing with me or not? Because I literally said they should make more analysis videos about female personalities too
Who else is waiting for Tommy Shelby video?
Javid Mardanov mad
Yes
Yeaah
💯💯💯
British Jimmy Darmody
What I love about your message and your channel is that, ultimately, it's about becoming an overall better person. THAT it the pathway and the goal.
One of my favorite shows and characters! Good breakdown!
Something that was relatively underplayed in the video until the end is the reason his moves work: his radical competence. Confidence and techniques are great and can get you places, but you won't be able to keep your position or demand raises or whatever without some value backing you up. That either means competence or leverage of another kind which Harvey almost always has in spades.
Thanks for all your hard work Charlie! These videos have been a great boon to my own charisma :D
i just wanted to share a lil something i took from a previous video. making myself comfortable when going in a room or coming over to sit with people makes a huge difference. i started doing this contiously and it quickly became unconcious. when you lets say join a group of friends who are already sitting, sit slowly, find the perfect position for you, (for me its putting my right leg on my left leg) and take a few seconds to soak up everything thats going on around you. even if someone started talking to you before you are done with this little "ceremony" dont even bother replaying untill youre done with it and feel 100% comfortable :). it makes a huge difference. i think i saw it on their george clooney video :). thanks CoC!
Apart from all the frame crap ... the foundation of Harvey's personality is the fact that he is The Best at what he does...if you have ever excelled at anything...you are better than most ... 70% of this comes naturally ... only using some cheap tricks can cause you lost of embarrassment amidst a decent/educated/powerful crowd .....
I am telling this from my personal experience .... just run for the excellence in whatever field you are!!!!
finally a Harvey Specter charisma on command
:D Glad I found it too
1. Control body language and tone
2. Don't defend yourself but attack back.
3. You're not there to impress anyone ppl r there to impress you
4. Attack the frame not the content
5. Control and create the options
Automatic like because suits and because charisma on command
Thanks I missed the name of the show. I think I'll have to check it out.
@@JasmineNothanks it's a great show from the beginning!
Stopped watching shortly after they lost Mike. Wasn’t the same without him and all the in-fighting within the firm got old.
@@TheJamsplat damn, I just spoiled the show for myself
@@TheJamsplat he comes back...
I love this channel. I would much rather watch content like this any hour of the day then listen to all the negativity that is swarming our social media and CZcams videos. You are doing your viewer's service, and I am greatly appreciative of your efforts.
Preparation is the key to confidence. These body language and attitude come automatically as an icing on cake.
Man.. this course is looking better and better every time I see a vid from you guys!
Loved it! Thank you :)
This is a great video! As I watched the show (I was new to Suits until a few months ago) I got such a kick out of how they would show Harvey's body language when they'd do flashbacks. And then you see how much more confident he became. I loved that! I find myself getting my inner "Jessica Pearson" on now! Making sure I "OWN" myself as I walk into rooms of people. This show really lays it out for us!
could you do a video on donna, please??? especially in conflict scenarios and standing up for herself. her confidence is goals!
I’ve already commented on this video. But I just want to add to it. Understanding frames of reference is one of the most powerful ways to finally start being able to get to grips with dominant, disagreeable personality types. It took me way too long to realise this BUT never argue with their frame...simply assert yours with persistency and conviction. The person with the most compelling frame wins. Unless you’re dealing with a narcissist, sociopath or psychopath, in which case you have a choice: you can either grey rock (google it) or be destroyed. That’s the second lesson. Be clear on the ego you’re dealing with. Some egos have a scorched Earth policy.
I run an eCommerce consultancy and these tips are complete game changers for anyone running a service based business 👌
Yes! I have been waiting for a dive in onto Harvey Spectre. I've been really into your videos as a Communication Major. Keep it up!
Great video! Suits is one of the finest shows that is not only a drama series to watch during your free time but also something that you can learn a lot from.
Think you left out one very important part of Harvey’s charisma.
He’s PREPARED for every situation and guess that ties into having options?
Of course, it infinitely helps to have Donna as his secretary.
The most dramatically filmed tv show I’ve ever seen.
What do you mean? Over the top? Is it worth watching in your opinion?
@@MemberOfTheSaints First season was good, and maybe half of the second season. The then after that the drama just gets too much because its non-stop. You will forever have the phrase " God damnit" imprinted in to your memory, god damn it!
@@mr12aT my exact thoughts. i noticed that at one point virtually EVERY scene ended with an argument and somber music. the melodrama becomes excessive to the point where it loses all weight and you just become numb to it. season 1 was like a totally different show, and a far better one.
Well if there wasn’t for the drama the show would be really boring... it’s a show with a bunch of lawyers
*7:12* that's the best moment in that entire season which showed how Harvey bends anyone to his rules
another thing is most of the scenes in this entire video is taken from *Season 1 & 2* , where Harvey was complete boss and badass in his deals
YAAAAAAY I'm SO glad you finally did Harvey Specter!!
What a man.
The character Harvey has changed my life, in two years my life turned around. I have watched the whole series more than 5 times.
every time I feel low, I watch Suits❤️
I've been waiting for this breakdown for years! Thanks guys!
Love your videos
Please do a video on charisma on Sterling Archer! This is like the bajillionth day I’ve asked this.
NOTE: Reacting is like giving an immediate (usually negative) response to something while responding is noticing your own emotions and taking a second to breathe and consider the situation.
I walk around like this and it's been working for me. I'm in sales though so I deal with people who constantly look down on me throw back handed compliments threaten to leave lmao everything he deals with in the vid so that's why I am how he is all the time thanks to this video. Wont work all the time for some like me but definitely need this in your arsenal and should use it as much as possible to get better and figure the best times to pull it out
When Harvey was talking about what would u do if someone had a gun and how he framed it all that just changed my whole perspective of how life is and how to handle dangerous situations if only they were more people like him
Almost EVERYONE will give you only two options and make you believe there are really only two. Much of the time they even believe themselves that there are only two.
The people who succeed more rarely ever pick on of the two options because they usually always find a third that's much better.
Finally!!! I've been waiting for this for years!! Thanks
"There is always another option that suits him better"
😂 I see what you did there.
Such a great breakdown!! thanks for sharing!
Thank you!! Been waiting for this like for ever
I love that you used Harvey for this topic. Excellent content and advice.
Thanks for featuring Suits, I love this show. It was insightful as always, I always learn something from you. :)
I absolutely love Harvey!! Suits is one of my favorite shows!! Great video ❤
Glad to hear you got so many people through the course. Congrats!
Broo!! I've always been a supporter of your channel but, this video just takes the cake! Great Video Marvelous Show
Love these videos, but I always forget it when I'm in actual social interactions 😅
Stay calm and you will remember. Never get nervous in front of anyone.
Rinse, repeat, try to remember, you WILL make it. I wish I had watched that all a long time ago.
Have you ever considered making a video on Thomas Shelby from Peaky Blinders? I think it could be really interesting.
Note Harvey's thick, symmetrical full-Windsor tie knot. Nearly every knot of his adversary was a half-Windsor or Four-in-Hand knot (strangled and/or out of shape).
Seriously, anyone else notice this?
Yes!!! So glad we finally got a Harvey Specter video👏👏👏
This channel and many others have made me a dangerous man
Excellent case study of Harvey's confidence. I want to know how much time this took you, and what approach you took to perform this.
Could you make videos on Mindsets as well? confidence comes with a stable mindset, along with many other benefits. This video grants an edge to the people who already have their confidence sorted, but doesn't help the ones yet to discover their confidence. This can only be solved by first laying a foundation( Mindset).
I love that you analysed Harvey Specter!
I have watched the first 7 series 5 times over...watch it everyday with my lunch and I am not faking when I say the show has changed me as a person...I rarely get influenced but this character cannot be overlooked
This is very valuable. The concept of frames is steadily supported by psycholinguistics, discourse analysis and pragmatics. Congratulations and thank you for this video, Charlie!
suits was a great show. i feel like rewatching the first few seasons again.
Totally. I'm going through to watch them all again.
Loved the video edit/comp and the closing statements! Well done 👍
Charlie, really love the content of your channel. I've been binge watching lately, far better than Netflix. Can I suggest to create future videos ilustrating these behaviours in women as well (whether in real life or movies)? It would mean a lot. Thanks!
I would be really interested in watching one these confidence breakdowns about a female celebrity!
That said, I would hazard a guess that most of the audience here are men, so there are probably subtle ways in which they're helped by greater prevalence of male examples -- just in terms of seeing someone they can identify with and more easily liken to themselves in the mirror. As a chick myself, I love all the videos and gain a lot from them all equally, but that's me. And I have noticed just now, cruising through their videos page, that most female examples are from real life, and rarely from fiction, so that creates some room to explore for sure!
I’ve observed that most confident women in today’s world seem to emulate confident men anyway. I think it’d be an interesting albeit perhaps slightly redundant video
Confidence is not gendered. He breaks down male and female characters on the charismatic traits at an individual level. You can learn from any character!
Good Vibrations We don’t need to emulate men. It’s about being a confident person, not a man or woman as if we were different species.
Then watch one his many other videos about women??
Thomas shelby peaky blinders hes pretty interesting
He is.
I was waiting for this!!! Thank you
Probably my favorite video on this channel. Made me rewatch Suits all over again. Charlie - Please do Mike Ross!
Awesome video as always Charlie! However, something we’d all love to see is Thomas Shelby from Netflix’s Peaky Blinders
I like this! Great video and good analysis. I’m curious though. In establishing extreme confidence, there’s a possibility of coming off as condescending. How do you walk that tight rope of showing the confidence, but also not going as far as to talk down to people?
I love the inclusion of the two Bobs interview from Office Space. Great clip to illustrate your point on frame control.
I asked for it and you gave it to me. Thank you. Great video.
Being Harvey is the key to having confidence...
Harvey Specter never watches these videos.
He has no time. Videos come to him :)
@@imperfect7719 Yeah it’s also called cinematography. People pay for best and more logical thoughts and stories which are distilled from one another. They could be based on fiction but still inspire people.
Man, I've been waiting for a Harvey Specter vid for a long time!!!
Thank you so much for this breakdown!
Gonna throw in my vote for the whole “Tommy Shelby Video” idea people are pitching. Seriously needs to happen
Please can you make more videos on Harvey(character study). I honestly believe if we study all his positive traits Our lives will be way better.
I just started watching series yesterday and today this is in my recommended
Waited so long for a video about Harvey Specter made by your channel
Do you have a course on "frames" alone? I've been watching your channel for years and you have amazing content, but this concept is the one that I've found more useful but one of the harder ones to grasp. I'm getting there, but could really use something drilled into my head with this.
*Confidence* - when you are encountered by a new situation but have enough belief in your abilities, to know that you will be alright in tackling it
Every video of yours taught me alot about body language...keep uploading bro
Damn, people have been asking for this one for years! Nice job.
Dang, this is some quality content...
The way to Set the Frame is to Know YOUR "Outcome" for the interaction.
As mentioned here, Frames are continually changing, so by Knowing What it is that You Want to have Happen that specifically prevents others from changing Your Frame & allows you to adjust yours to theirs as you go through.
And whilst speaking about Frames, there is also Re-Framing.
Context Re-Frames & Content Re-Frames.
Using the metaphor in this video, .. you can keep the artwork & change the Frame that it's in (Context Re-Frame) or keep the Frame & change the artwork inside it (Content Re-Frame). These are foundation concepts from a feild called NLP & relate to Influence with others.
The allied understanding that supports the concept of Frames is "Criteria". Those elements of your outcome that must be present for you to know you have achieved it, whatever they may be.
Fantastic video. Very insightful. Thanks for the upload!
Good stuff. I’ve been watching you guys for years and the stuff you guys put out is amazing.
The less conclusions you make, the more confidence you will have
Side note* this seems like a very interesting character & now I'm interested in this show. Great analysis.
This show is great. Available on Prime.
Mann you're about to discover a greatt show!! Enjoy :P
You need to see it just for this guy alone
The show finished 3 weeks ago and I catch things like this and miss it! The other characters are great too, you should give it a try for sure
@@pratikbhuyan agreed. He seems interesting to say the least.
Thanks for sharing your advice.
This video is so well thought. Thank you.
More vids about Harvey!!!
Do a video on Thomas Shelby from Peaky Blinders! I love his character and confidence and one of your videos would be PERFECT!
Amazing video! I love these breakdowns
YESSS YOU FINALLY DID HARVEY SPECTOR! I LEGIT WATCH SUITS TO EXCEL MY CONFIDENCE SKILLS!! Thanks Charisma on Command!