I can appreciate everything red shirt guy is saying. I feel like the guy in the cap would be the one to always put his mom and what she wants before his wife and kid 😂
I’m on her side tbh. Yes her delivery should have been better. But she just gave birth. It’s her first baby. She’s in an extremely delicate and vulnerable position. If she’s struggling and stressed so is the baby. The husband needs to take his wife side first and foremost. If mother in law is not bringing peace into the household, she needs to leave.
she could’ve asked if they are talking about her & not banned them from speaking their language but I would have spoken about the deposit to the mom because you will NOT say i would’ve been homeless in a home i put down for!!🤨
I appreciate everything redshirt said but what I will say is that I don’t think it’s bad thing to step your in-laws, it just depends on how you delivered it. For instance if it was me, I would have said “ mommy, I don’t know what your guys are saying I feel excluded. I want to know what is being said especially if it pertains to the baby” as the reason she is here, is to help. No matter how the payment was split cause that was in agreement to both parts. It is still BOTH of their homes & each should be comfortable to live as they wish; parents coming over and feeling welcomed in the home.
Me too!! In my mind I was like, “Not in this Haitian household”. I personally wouldn’t say anything to my in-laws but my Mummie, Tati and gang would handle that work.
I'm Haitian and when my family gets together we speak any and every language we know when talking to each other. That's what multilingual people do. Sometimes something doesn't hit the same when translated. She should've started learn his language when they decided it was forever. When one doesn't understand a language they assume they're being spoken about when at times they're not.
She has just given birth to a child. The mother-in-law should not cause her stress. If it is returned at this stage, the mother-in-law the aunt should leave the house (whether or not she is paying for the house). They should be there to help and nothing else. She is a very bad mother-in-law regardless of the culture.
I'm literally trying to understand what you mean about her being disrespectful. There is more than one culture in that household. It doesn't mean Nigerian culture is more respected over her Caribbean culture. You men are confused. And I'm sorry. but as soon as I'm married to you, I have all right to tell your mother, cousin and brother, whoever it is, that my boundaries need to be set. You aren't taking your toxicity into my life cause your son isn't brave enough to tell you you're wrong. Most men will never understand what it means to have a strong woman who holds her own. It is exactly as saying, if your family member or friend is prejudice, you'd tolerate it because you love them even though it's wrong. I'm cutting that shit down. You do not have to forgive me either. I will tell you and your son about yourself. And I don't care if you didn't like me, trust me. Even if she didn't speak English, a universal language, you refuse to teach yourself... I don't expect you to know Creole (Caribbean languages) but I do expect you to try to understand some sort of English. Cause the fact of the matter is, if you're too lazy to understand me, why would I want to understand you. Ya'll Nigerians love tit for tat. You ain't never seen Caribbeans yet when they fed up.
Entirely on the woman’s side but maybe the delivery of the message could have been more tactful - not saying only English in the house, but sharing her worries and discomfort. I don’t think she needs to consult her husband every time she has an issue, bc she needs to build an honest channel of communication with her mother in law with emphasis on goodwill.
I don’t think she actually has a problem with them speak their language… she has a problem with them speaking disrespectfully ABOUT HER, in her house, and her not being able to understand. He should stand up for her because that’s his partner. Sit his mom down and say you will not disrespect her in OUR HOUSE she is my partner and mother of my child. You can do that when you leave but not in OUR HOUSE.
I understand the girls point but when your in a mixed culture relationship you need to have mutual respect. My husband is Nigerian and I am Congolese. We are all happy to freely speak our language. Just have a respect for each other
People like you baffle me with the whole “warrior in taking disrespect” mindset. They were most likely speaking ill on her parenting style first off all in the house SHE paid for God forbid. Then the mom had the audacity to say “u need to be happy ur even here, I can do whatever I want” disrespecting not only the mother of HER OWN GRANDCHILD but the sanctity of her own home. Wanna talk about mutual respect? Dont you dare speak evil on the way I parent MY CHILD in MY HOUSE in a language that I dont speak when I PAID for the roof ur even under to practice your culture. The girl was already open to the culture when she let the mum stay for 2 weeks after birthing a literal child.
@@sumayaadem2142 I clearly stated I understand the girl, but if she has a problem with her partners mother/ grandmother then she needs to speak to her partner about it. Just because the house is hers doesn’t mean she can disrespect her mother in-law. At the end of the day it all depends on the kind of relationship you have with your partners family. If her mother in-law is speaking anyhow to her is because her partner has not put any boundaries.
@@bonnetgirlakasarah since her husband isn’t setting the boundaries than it’s up to her to do so. Anyone would have said something if someone staying under your roof is speaking ill on your parenting style. The baby isn’t even a month old just imagine when his older
Breast milk has hydration & nutrients. God made woman to give exactly what a baby needs. But no judgement for formula use either. Each partner must set boundaries w/ their family and protect their partner from unnecessary conflict.
I don’t think requesting her to speak english is disrespectful. Its a request for crying out loud. Also, the fact that she didn’t stop the mother in her tracks and say I paid for this excuse me, is for me a good thing. Respect is universal. The mother in law and sister aren’t respectful taking about her. You also fail to realize that the mother had snide remarks before the aunty was there. She however now had backup and strength in numbers to take on the wife. That’s crazy!
She has a right to put boundaries. The first mistake was to accept for the mother in law and her sister to come and stay for two weeks. Their response shows that they are very disrespectful.
In Nigeria, the mother that comes for omugwo depends on the tribe. Igbo’s have the girls mother come and Yoruba’s have the boys mother come after childbirth
To correct one of the podcasters…Cultures are different even if we are all Nigerians. The Igbo culture calls it omugwo and the woman’s mother is who helps with the baby while Yoruba’s it’s the man’s mother that helps with the baby.
Hey, he’s talking about never step to the in laws. Heeeeeeey I’m sure that lady was not Jamaican because siiiiiiir…. It would be the clashes of the whatsapp bulletin caz I call my mother and talk them in patwa on the phone… its about to go down
The issue is now her delivery because no one can look past the fact she told them to speak English instead of focusing on the real issue, which is they are using another language to talk about her.
I Dont think she should have told the mom to speak English but could have asked her if she was talking about her and spoke about it. At the end of the day, yes it's culture but you don't make someone feel uncomfortable in their own house and the partner should have spoken up for her as well. Also, she just gave birth and I'm sorry mother in laws need to be more kind and not harsh.
How come no one is talking about the fact that the mother Inlaw said that the house belongs to her son. I think if the son was not ready to handle the stress of having his mum in the same space as his Caribbean wife, then he shouldn’t have brought them over.
I think couples should have conversations way before they can even decide to have a baby,especially if they are from different tribes,group and race.Tell each other what is required from their family,what they want to be done to the baby or how things should be for both of them and discussions can be had before the baby is born.Its very unfair to come with these traditions and things to be done when the woman just gave birth. The final decision is always always done by the couple who just had the baby,so if she refuse to get the baby washed by the leaf or any other thing then we do that.
Honestly when it comes to any In laws lady’s always just tell your partner first so you do your due diligence if all else fails in a respectful manner do your worst like when someone says HAVE SEVERAL SEATS IN A PROFESSIONAL MANNER LOL AND CLEAR PERIODT ok hahhahahhah
The mother and aunty are being disrespectful. You do not go to someone's house and speak a language they cannot understand when they are in your presence. Even if they weren't talking about the wife they were intentionally excluding her from the conversation. The fact that the MIL had the audacity to say the wife would be homeless just shows the lack of respect she has for her son's wife. Regardless who pays for what, they are married and that house is their home. In a mixed household both partners cultures need to be respected by anyone who walks in that house, 1 culture does not supercede the other. Glad my husband has always defended our marriage and stood up for me in any of these type of situations with his family. To be fair though I always bring my issues to him first as I do not want to cause conflict but that is just my personality. My husband is happy to be the bad guy lol.
Many people I know do this in the Caribbean. Both in black and Indo-Caribbean households there is this culture along with bathing and massaging the baby. I would have left him to talk to his mom. It is actually really bad manners for them to talk in their language when she is alone with the two of them. In fact, they need to send the aunt home so the mother can only speak her language when her son is home.
1. He is in the wrong for not educating his woman on his culture. 2. If that's her house it's her rules. 3. If you know your mom can't be respectful, then you can take your rude self to a hotel and wait for your son to bring your grandchild for visitation. Culturally speaking, it's ignorant to speak another language in the presence of others who don't. I even use Google translate to be empathetic to someone who doesn't speak my language and they love it. The mom and boyfriend were wrong FLAT OUT.
It’s always the sons mum🤣 nah but on a serious note they should try allow speaking different language in front of her I do think that is quite rude especially in her own home , to avoid any wahala they should try stick to English imo
Honestly, she already embarrassed herself by telling the mum what to do or what she could not do. Mothers will be mothers. My mum who's Nigerian speaks our language even when my fiancee is around. and my fiancee is from Zimbabwe. He fucked up by not telling his family the truth about the deposit. I believe that's just to boost his own ego and pride. In the bigger picture, I can already tell she will always have that deposit situation over him. Anytime they fight and it gets worse, she can easily tell him to get out of her house. hmm, tricky one.
The mum disrespected her in her house soo…long day. It’s not speaking her own language that was bad but if she’s talking about her and her parenting in front of her then no she shouldn’t do that fully knowing she can’t understand. She only said what she said because she felt threatened and disrespected in her own home and it’s understandable why. The mom said things she should not say to the mother of the child and brought up the irrelevant and wrong information about the house. The mom was out of line for that but nothing would be done because it’s the partners mom?💀 nah absolutely not. It’s shocking you think the mother of the child embarrassed herself by standing up for herself in a situation she shouldn’t have been put in, in the first place.
@@bethd8300 I do understand your point. However, why will she feel threatened by her? She defo loves both of them and was feeling comfortable in their home. I'm sure there's more to the story that wasn't said. However, in my opinion, mothers can speak whatever language they want, with who they want and anywhere they want. If she was my woman, that relationship would have ended in no time. My woman knows well, that respecting your elders goes very far. Once you breach that, there's no telling what that kind of person can do or say on any given occasion.
@@TilleyOlsen I don’t think you get it it’s about principle you can’t just come into someone’s house and sit there talking about them in a language they don’t understand specially about their child and proceed To tell them that they should be luck to be where they are because if it wasn’t for her husband she wouldn’t be anywhere. Like ma’am no, it’s not about them speaking their language it’s the fact that their talking about her and she has caught her mother in law talking about her parenting to her husband. It’s about time we start holding our own parents accountable for their actions in a respectfully manor
@@bethd8300 l get your point totally but maybe it's an African thing. Maybe ptsd from upbringing but short of physical abuse never ever talk back to an elder. Sigh don't mean you should get walked all over.
I can appreciate everything red shirt guy is saying. I feel like the guy in the cap would be the one to always put his mom and what she wants before his wife and kid 😂
I would have embarrassed him 😂
I’m on her side tbh. Yes her delivery should have been better. But she just gave birth. It’s her first baby. She’s in an extremely delicate and vulnerable position. If she’s struggling and stressed so is the baby. The husband needs to take his wife side first and foremost. If mother in law is not bringing peace into the household, she needs to leave.
she could’ve asked if they are talking about her & not banned them from speaking their language but I would have spoken about the deposit to the mom because you will NOT say i would’ve been homeless in a home i put down for!!🤨
Uzi’s FACIAL EXPRESSIONS FUCKING KILLED ME, IAM IN TEARS😭🗣😂🤦🏾♀️
I appreciate everything redshirt said but what I will say is that I don’t think it’s bad thing to step your in-laws, it just depends on how you delivered it. For instance if it was me, I would have said “ mommy, I don’t know what your guys are saying I feel excluded. I want to know what is being said especially if it pertains to the baby” as the reason she is here, is to help. No matter how the payment was split cause that was in agreement to both parts. It is still BOTH of their homes & each should be comfortable to live as they wish; parents coming over and feeling welcomed in the home.
So I’m Haitian and I’m low key wondering where her mama or grandma at because my mines would be in that house too 😅
Factss my mom would come over everyday with some excuse and be with the baby all day😂😂😂
Giiiirrrllll!!! I’d have my gang too she would have to think twice
Me too!! In my mind I was like, “Not in this Haitian household”. I personally wouldn’t say anything to my in-laws but my Mummie, Tati and gang would handle that work.
I'm Haitian and when my family gets together we speak any and every language we know when talking to each other. That's what multilingual people do. Sometimes something doesn't hit the same when translated. She should've started learn his language when they decided it was forever. When one doesn't understand a language they assume they're being spoken about when at times they're not.
She has just given birth to a child. The mother-in-law should not cause her stress. If it is returned at this stage, the mother-in-law the aunt should leave the house (whether or not she is paying for the house). They should be there to help and nothing else. She is a very bad mother-in-law regardless of the culture.
I'm literally trying to understand what you mean about her being disrespectful. There is more than one culture in that household. It doesn't mean Nigerian culture is more respected over her Caribbean culture. You men are confused. And I'm sorry. but as soon as I'm married to you, I have all right to tell your mother, cousin and brother, whoever it is, that my boundaries need to be set. You aren't taking your toxicity into my life cause your son isn't brave enough to tell you you're wrong. Most men will never understand what it means to have a strong woman who holds her own. It is exactly as saying, if your family member or friend is prejudice, you'd tolerate it because you love them even though it's wrong. I'm cutting that shit down. You do not have to forgive me either. I will tell you and your son about yourself. And I don't care if you didn't like me, trust me. Even if she didn't speak English, a universal language, you refuse to teach yourself... I don't expect you to know Creole (Caribbean languages) but I do expect you to try to understand some sort of English. Cause the fact of the matter is, if you're too lazy to understand me, why would I want to understand you. Ya'll Nigerians love tit for tat. You ain't never seen Caribbeans yet when they fed up.
Speak sister caz I know she wasn’t a Jamaican caz that report would sound soo different
Entirely on the woman’s side but maybe the delivery of the message could have been more tactful - not saying only English in the house, but sharing her worries and discomfort. I don’t think she needs to consult her husband every time she has an issue, bc she needs to build an honest channel of communication with her mother in law with emphasis on goodwill.
I don’t think she actually has a problem with them speak their language… she has a problem with them speaking disrespectfully ABOUT HER, in her house, and her not being able to understand. He should stand up for her because that’s his partner. Sit his mom down and say you will not disrespect her in OUR HOUSE she is my partner and mother of my child. You can do that when you leave but not in OUR HOUSE.
I understand the girls point but when your in a mixed culture relationship you need to have mutual respect. My husband is Nigerian and I am Congolese. We are all happy to freely speak our language. Just have a respect for each other
People like you baffle me with the whole “warrior in taking disrespect” mindset. They were most likely speaking ill on her parenting style first off all in the house SHE paid for God forbid. Then the mom had the audacity to say “u need to be happy ur even here, I can do whatever I want” disrespecting not only the mother of HER OWN GRANDCHILD but the sanctity of her own home. Wanna talk about mutual respect? Dont you dare speak evil on the way I parent MY CHILD in MY HOUSE in a language that I dont speak when I PAID for the roof ur even under to practice your culture. The girl was already open to the culture when she let the mum stay for 2 weeks after birthing a literal child.
@@sumayaadem2142 I clearly stated I understand the girl, but if she has a problem with her partners mother/ grandmother then she needs to speak to her partner about it. Just because the house is hers doesn’t mean she can disrespect her mother in-law. At the end of the day it all depends on the kind of relationship you have with your partners family. If her mother in-law is speaking anyhow to her is because her partner has not put any boundaries.
@@bonnetgirlakasarah since her husband isn’t setting the boundaries than it’s up to her to do so. Anyone would have said something if someone staying under your roof is speaking ill on your parenting style. The baby isn’t even a month old just imagine when his older
@@beccaplum2063 I get your point and as a mother I understand where she’s coming from.
My Jajja it can never happen so funny 😂 😂😂😂
Breast milk has hydration & nutrients. God made woman to give exactly what a baby needs. But no judgement for formula use either. Each partner must set boundaries w/ their family and protect their partner from unnecessary conflict.
I was there and saw the tackle.. I can confirm it was self inflicted 🤫🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
I don’t think requesting her to speak english is disrespectful. Its a request for crying out loud. Also, the fact that she didn’t stop the mother in her tracks and say I paid for this excuse me, is for me a good thing. Respect is universal. The mother in law and sister aren’t respectful taking about her. You also fail to realize that the mother had snide remarks before the aunty was there. She however now had backup and strength in numbers to take on the wife. That’s crazy!
The one in the hat is all about this is how we do it in our culture…. What about the mothers culture?? He sounds very one-sided to me.
In Uganda the first three months the girl normally spends it with her mother.... To prevent all those issues
She has a right to put boundaries. The first mistake was to accept for the mother in law and her sister to come and stay for two weeks.
Their response shows that they are very disrespectful.
Hmm..: nga is sweet eeeeh 😂😂😂😂
In Nigeria, the mother that comes for omugwo depends on the tribe. Igbo’s have the girls mother come and Yoruba’s have the boys mother come after childbirth
Interesting thank you for the info 🤎
Okay hello new intro! 😂🙌🏾
Women use a tens machine as natural ‘pain relief’ during labour so it’s funny that they can’t even handle that!😂😂
also babies kidneys are not mature enough for the excess water to it might get to a toxic level for them
To correct one of the podcasters…Cultures are different even if we are all Nigerians. The Igbo culture calls it omugwo and the woman’s mother is who helps with the baby while Yoruba’s it’s the man’s mother that helps with the baby.
Hey, he’s talking about never step to the in laws. Heeeeeeey I’m sure that lady was not Jamaican because siiiiiiir…. It would be the clashes of the whatsapp bulletin caz I call my mother and talk them in patwa on the phone… its about to go down
The issue is now her delivery because no one can look past the fact she told them to speak English instead of focusing on the real issue, which is they are using another language to talk about her.
It wasn’t established that they were talking about her though 🤷🏽♂️
I Dont think she should have told the mom to speak English but could have asked her if she was talking about her and spoke about it. At the end of the day, yes it's culture but you don't make someone feel uncomfortable in their own house and the partner should have spoken up for her as well. Also, she just gave birth and I'm sorry mother in laws need to be more kind and not harsh.
That's mad disrespectful tho. Why speak in your language around others? It's not hard to speak English for the time being
@@lhc9973 English isn't everyone’s first language
A man said you was there but not in the tackle
I’m on her side, respect the household. The delivery might not have been great but how you disrespecting the house mom?
Where’s the whole intro song??? 😂😂😂 is there a video?
How come no one is talking about the fact that the mother Inlaw said that the house belongs to her son. I think if the son was not ready to handle the stress of having his mum in the same space as his Caribbean wife, then he shouldn’t have brought them over.
Facts 👏🏾
I think couples should have conversations way before they can even decide to have a baby,especially if they are from different tribes,group and race.Tell each other what is required from their family,what they want to be done to the baby or how things should be for both of them and discussions can be had before the baby is born.Its very unfair to come with these traditions and things to be done when the woman just gave birth. The final decision is always always done by the couple who just had the baby,so if she refuse to get the baby washed by the leaf or any other thing then we do that.
What you trying to say about the potwa thing
Honestly when it comes to any In laws lady’s always just tell your partner first so you do your due diligence if all else fails in a respectful manner do your worst like when someone says HAVE SEVERAL SEATS IN A PROFESSIONAL MANNER LOL AND CLEAR PERIODT ok hahhahahhah
The mother and aunty are being disrespectful. You do not go to someone's house and speak a language they cannot understand when they are in your presence. Even if they weren't talking about the wife they were intentionally excluding her from the conversation. The fact that the MIL had the audacity to say the wife would be homeless just shows the lack of respect she has for her son's wife. Regardless who pays for what, they are married and that house is their home. In a mixed household both partners cultures need to be respected by anyone who walks in that house, 1 culture does not supercede the other. Glad my husband has always defended our marriage and stood up for me in any of these type of situations with his family. To be fair though I always bring my issues to him first as I do not want to cause conflict but that is just my personality. My husband is happy to be the bad guy lol.
Love the set up of your marriage and I agree with your views 👏🏾
It’s the woman’s mom that comes not the man . And the children belong to both parents . Please get it right.
Why is it everytime you guys talk about the Caribbean it’s always Jamaica. Jesus Christ man
Forgive us, no malice intended at all. We only really know Jamaicans in real life but will keep this in mind.
Yes he was like what you expect us to speak Patwa … I’m like what about the rest of the carribean
Many people I know do this in the Caribbean. Both in black and Indo-Caribbean households there is this culture along with bathing and massaging the baby. I would have left him to talk to his mom. It is actually really bad manners for them to talk in their language when she is alone with the two of them. In fact, they need to send the aunt home so the mother can only speak her language when her son is home.
1. He is in the wrong for not educating his woman on his culture. 2. If that's her house it's her rules. 3. If you know your mom can't be respectful, then you can take your rude self to a hotel and wait for your son to bring your grandchild for visitation. Culturally speaking, it's ignorant to speak another language in the presence of others who don't. I even use Google translate to be empathetic to someone who doesn't speak my language and they love it. The mom and boyfriend were wrong FLAT OUT.
Definitely agree 👏🏾
By law if he's paying the mortgage then he also has a claim to the house.
Men be moaning mad🤣🤣
Just imagine a woman feeling that pain for days
It’s always the sons mum🤣 nah but on a serious note they should try allow speaking different language in front of her I do think that is quite rude especially in her own home , to avoid any wahala they should try stick to English imo
Honestly, she already embarrassed herself by telling the mum what to do or what she could not do. Mothers will be mothers. My mum who's Nigerian speaks our language even when my fiancee is around. and my fiancee is from Zimbabwe. He fucked up by not telling his family the truth about the deposit. I believe that's just to boost his own ego and pride. In the bigger picture, I can already tell she will always have that deposit situation over him. Anytime they fight and it gets worse, she can easily tell him to get out of her house. hmm, tricky one.
The mum disrespected her in her house soo…long day. It’s not speaking her own language that was bad but if she’s talking about her and her parenting in front of her then no she shouldn’t do that fully knowing she can’t understand. She only said what she said because she felt threatened and disrespected in her own home and it’s understandable why. The mom said things she should not say to the mother of the child and brought up the irrelevant and wrong information about the house. The mom was out of line for that but nothing would be done because it’s the partners mom?💀 nah absolutely not. It’s shocking you think the mother of the child embarrassed herself by standing up for herself in a situation she shouldn’t have been put in, in the first place.
This is why some African people turn out the way they do..they let people trample over them
@@bethd8300 I do understand your point. However, why will she feel threatened by her? She defo loves both of them and was feeling comfortable in their home. I'm sure there's more to the story that wasn't said. However, in my opinion, mothers can speak whatever language they want, with who they want and anywhere they want. If she was my woman, that relationship would have ended in no time. My woman knows well, that respecting your elders goes very far. Once you breach that, there's no telling what that kind of person can do or say on any given occasion.
@@TilleyOlsen I don’t think you get it it’s about principle you can’t just come into someone’s house and sit there talking about them in a language they don’t understand specially about their child and proceed
To tell them that they should be luck to be where they are because if it wasn’t for her husband she wouldn’t be anywhere. Like ma’am no, it’s not about them speaking their language it’s the fact that their talking about her and she has caught her mother in law talking about her parenting to her husband. It’s about time we start holding our own parents accountable for their actions in a respectfully manor
@@bethd8300 l get your point totally but maybe it's an African thing. Maybe ptsd from upbringing but short of physical abuse never ever talk back to an elder. Sigh don't mean you should get walked all over.