What Does A Narcissist Do When You Go No Contact?
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- čas přidán 2. 08. 2024
- Book You Slot for the online workshop on "How you become trauma bonded and how to break free in 5 powerful steps": emotionalabuserecovery.com/ev...
Chapters
00:00 Introduction
00:42 The Narcissist's Behaviour
02:48 The Narcissist Rage
03:28 Prepare Yourself For Leaving
Book You Slot for the online workshop on "How you become trauma bonded and how to break free in 5 powerful steps": emotionalabuserecovery.com/eventbtb
sadly, total abandonment is the only way. its not the choice most empaths would do but its the only one that works
No contact is the only way.
@@annekerotterdam7499 correct!
Sadly? The only happy day you'll have in a relationship with a narc, is the day you escape!!
@@annekerotterdam7499 You are absolutely right.
@@jbrown2908 yeah - I gotcha. Was being a bit of a wiseass. But mean what I said, too. 💜
@Lee Brando what do you mean exactly by total abandonment? Do you mean completely leave everything behind? Cuz that's not an option for people who are married to narcs and have children along with property in both names.
Abandonment carries serious repercussions for the party that leaves in that scenario...
Narcissists disguised as victims, utterly horrible human beings. Had my fill of them. 😡
I'm so frustrated with myself for being so blinded by the love bombing, blinded by the arguments he caused to run away to go be with someone else. I've never been treated so terribly in my life when trying to leave the narcissistic relationship. I'm on day 8 of no contact...i know I have to stay strong to find myself again. As for anyone else find your strength sooner than later to save yourself ❤
Thank you Danish for the videos you help greatly.
I know the feeling. Texts go from hot to not. They get what they want and then see what else others can give. Then they choose and just leave you hanging as a backup in case things aren’t going great with the other
You counting the days ... did u make it to day 40?
@@ceasarwright7567 oh yes. And thensome. I just know the cycle. Just live life and don’t count.
We all find out the hard way that the love bombing is just the beginning of the con. Leave them and be your own person again!
They are literally in denial and will make up whatever lie that they can to pacify their fragile ego when you’ve left them. It’s incredible how a person can have this level of warped mindedness. Can’t even be angry bc they’re their own worst enemy.
Even my teen daughter wonders what kind of people her dad is.
That's exactly it. They can't look within and see what makes them behave the way that they do. It's always someone else's fault. They continue down the dead end road to a path of self-destruction. The only time they ever pull their heads out of their butts is when they are such feet under
@@jbrown2908 Exactly. When you can make a list of people who have ghosted them and realize that they are the common denominator, it's time to leave. It hurt me a lot to cut contact with this person because I truly believed she needed help. I think the only way she will ever get a clue is if she got a personal visit from Jesus himself. Even then it's left up to free will.
@@jbrown2908 No. There really isn't anything you can do. It's all up to them. I went no contact because I couldn't deal with her crap anymore. She got over it and she moved on to her next target. That's just what they do. Fortunately for me, it was a friend of mine that I had known long before I knew her. I was able to wake him up to what a psycho she is. He also went no contact. He told me, now that she's much older, all of her tactics really aren't working anymore because people are hip to the manipulation game. I mean, it says a lot about a person that even they're flying monkeys are cutting them off.
You forgot to mention that they'll never apologize for what harm they did to you.
Indeed even if you do try and mention it, they'll either pretend to not have a clue what you're talking about or just think it's your problem and nothing to do with them.
So, so true!!
@@annekerotterdam7499 Yep. After being confronted, the narc I knew said "sorry about the situation that happened".
Very well said.
They are compulsive LIARS!!...I speak from experience!!!!...
Gideon blackman....100pc!!! They have NO soul!!!...totally empty!!!!
I definitely agree that if you choose to leave the Narcissist behind and never look back they do get very angry . Possible you may see some hoovering but mainly alot of rage directed at you . This was my experience and my families experience. Now we choose to have zero contact with this Narcissist. They made their bed and can now lie in it alone.
Smear campaigns are fairly predictable as well.
Biggest mistake you make if you tell them you are leaving. Not all narcissists are violent, depends on narcissism. Most narcissists will use the easiest method of control because they are lazy.
Your so right. Make escape plans in secret. U will meet with much opposition from him if u tell your leaving & makes it more dangerous 4 U
Most of us are familiar with the comic book characters Charley Brown and Lucy. Lucy holds the football and when Charley Brown runs up and attempts to kick the football, Lucy pulls it away and Charley Brown falls flat on his back as Lucy laughs. Hundreds of times Lucy has promised not to pull the football away and hundreds of times Charley Brown trusts her but she does it anyway. The Narcissist does the same thing over and over just like Lucy. They regain your trust only to deceive you over and over again.
Right. I don’t think that little girl EVER EVER held the ball still so that Charlie could actually kick it. And he fell for “it” every time
I’ve stayed away for 2 mths now first time i’ve done it for so long and meant it as well as seeking support - i think you should always get support when deciding to leave. It needs a bit of planning to protect yourself
Protect yourself and set boundaries.
From prior experience, it’ll be rage. Even a hint of defiance brings it out. Leaving an abuser - people seem to use the term Narcissist as a less emotive term - can be the most dangerous time of a toxic personal relationship.
He has done it all after I left.
This is exactly what happened to me, I had been used and abused for too long and they had sucked the joy and life from me and had also inflicted abuse to my kids, 5 years later and I’m still trying to divorce them! After false abuse claims made against myself, child custody battles , and endless amounts of solicitors letters and hassle, still have more court dates coming up, one day I know it will finally be over and they won’t be able to cause me much more pain, sadly she still can to my kids though. To all in a similar position, stay strong and know that brighter days will eventually come!
God bless you dear.
Today itself, I am gray rocking and she is trying to test me as she keeps turning her back and trying to show me that I am not important, before that would real hurt me but now after about 60 vids I am prepared and I either pray she discards me or War has already started...
why are you even still with her?
We work together!
@@radzhurl8711 May angels be with you, friend. We need help when dealing with narcs if they act like demons.
Honey, not 'if'. When and it's not 'Like a Demon'. They ARE Demons...literally.
Stay strong. Sending positive vibes for you.
My reaction after reading this title ...Who Cares ?!? 🙌 LoL
One day soon you too will feel this way 😎😘
I’m praying for the discard… so I can wish them well and move on with my life!!
I’ve been hoping for that for over thirty years!
Don’t wait; you’ll be in much deeper financial straits and too old to get support, since that’s aimed primarily at women with young children.
Can u discard him? I know it's hard. Good luck sister 💓
Shapeshifter, Dr. Jekyl or Mr. Hyde🤷♀️ All of what you say is accurate. You will recieve their vile anger spewing at you🤮
Be aware. Think things through. Make a plan. Be safe.
My narcissistic former friend tried to paint me as “an ungrateful prick” and “a total bastard.” This was after I busted her on slandering me, committing libelous acts, stealing from me and spreading completely untrue rumors behind my back despite her proclamations that I was her “friend for life.” The person that she ran her mouth to was a friend of mine that I'm still in contact with (and was able to wake him up to her toxicity). It all fell on deaf years as, to say the least, her drama queen reputation preceded her. To properly illustrate how unpleasant she was, even all her flying monkeys eventually abandoned her. I made sure she found out, through my friend, that I had a boatload of evidence against her that I could sue her for. With reluctance, and despite her insistence that I had to be talking about her behind her back (I wasn't), she backed off.
I got a text from my narcissist family member on a (party text) that said how much they love me. Problem is they could of just text me on my private message. But it was for all to see. They good, I bad, oh well! 😏
I spent my life with my older half sister humiliating me & sneering & hissing at me & running me down. Then one day we were both in a room with several cousins & relatives. She opened her purse & brought out her check book & said she wanted to write out a check for my house repairs. (She was very wealthy.) I told her I didn't need any help. I knew she was only doing it to make me seem like a really bad person if I said anything about her. I grew up with her abuse & ended up with severe psychological problems.
When she died from cancer, I felt relief. I had lived my life with an irrational subconscious fear that I could not get past. It caused me to shut down & freeze up around people & I could not get past it. I felt like others would attack me the way she did. I could not have a conversation with people. After she died, I felt like a curse was lifted off of me. I started talking & communicating with people & I was told by some people that they noticed the difference. My reactions were based on fear of her.
I used to feel severe emotional pain when she treated me bad. I would wilt down & show the pain. I couldn't understand it. Now I know she was feeding off of my pain. My half brother was equally demonic but nowhere as active as my half sister. I was relieved when he died, too. (They were both from my mother's first marriage.)
I understand how narcs play their games to cover up their actions & make their victims look bad. I am just letting you know I experienced a similar situation.
You inflect Narcissist injury
Yup, I had enough of the "nice guy" persona and after rejecting him several times he went from saying I was the most amazing woman, to telling me that I had a problem with gossiping as my way to not face what I'd gone through in the past.
Please just be careful. I am writing this from the hospital as I try to recover from a gunshot wound to the face. Been in here a week now. Be careful
You’re a good narc reader. Thank you. I’ve seen more of these people through your readings.
Thanks for educating us
Very true.. What you say in this episode expperincing now in my life... Npds nice acting.... Danish your videos helped me a lot.... Thanks.... May God bless 🙏🙏🙏you.. Waiting for next one... The way of your explanation is very nice.... Keep it up... Iam from 🇮🇳 lam a big fan of your videos
I haven't been able to figure out what my ex wife is until therapy, I just knew she wasn't well. But it is so true, when you choose to leave them they will do whatever they can to punish you including manipulating and lying to the children. My kids were my life and my narrcassitic ex knew it so she went after what matters most to me. My daughter has been alienated from me and my narrsasstic ex sent her half way across the country. Fortunately my son told his mom shes a liar and he doesn't believe a word she says. I left her 4 years ago and to this day she continues to torture me. Thank you Danish, your work does help people!
Depends on a narcissist. My narcissistic father abandoned me the first time i declined his poisoned gift. In the past, he divorced my mother just for standing up to him.
Meanwhile, my boss at work is currently at the hoovering stage. I thought it was weird, as it didn´t make any sense. Now i know, she knows i know. And i´m doing my best at greyrocking.
Dishonesty is their inborn character .....really devastating for the victim
Thanks
Learning how to deal head on
I left when she is on full swing rage, now i am facing a hell of legal issues, my little innocent kids in her hands. Brainwashed against me, but deep down i have a hope my children would come back to me and i will have my life back. It is not easy to rise back as falling but it is worth it
The narcissist who is diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder and major addiction problems threatened to kill me so many times I am afraid after leaving I will be killed in my sleep. Every night I'm still scared at the smallest noise. I have a security system which instantly calls police if any sensor is triggered. The narcissist tried to shoot me which was the final end of the relationship when he was high on meth. He tried to stab me before that, threatened me with an axe, and guns in the past. Im so terrified of him leaving him is terrifying like he will pop up at any time and murder me this is what it feels like. I felt in the relationship "I cant leave because he says he will kill me", then he started threatening to kill me every day and bringing weapons into the house threatening me. I could not sleep anymore out of fear living with him and still now I dont sleep out of fear.
All of the above.
I can relate to this
Mine tried to have me arrested for trespassing after 8 yrs meanwhile I just cooked dinner at his house days before. I never even said it was over specifically but I think he knew because I knew him better than he wanted me to😢
To me I did feel sad but now I know what crazy things I went thru but I don’t feel nothing for demon ways 😅 they destroys there own life I feel bad for them truly…
The narcissist-in-law in our family hoovered me for a year, then when he understood I was onto him and lost interest, he ran the devalueing process for a few years, and then moved to the discard (while on our first post-Covid family vacation. Nice guy, right!) He "took" my sister (his wife and flying monkey) with him. I struggled with this loss for a couple of years and had a lot of anger and resentment. Therapy helped me to accept my sister as a changed and very different person than the one I knew; she's emotionally weak and lost herself to this control freak, narcissist husband. It's sad, but I've let my sister go and I'm okay with it. We're no-contact and that's allowing my own healing to proceed without their combined toxicity. Is it perfect? No, but it's life. Narcissists follow the pattern Danish describes, they are predictable in their toxicity, so you should respond correctly by distancing yourself permanently so you can move on and live your life away from their cloud.
When I was trying to leave my mother (I was 16), she really amped up the physical violence against me to the point I'm convinced she was trying to kill me. I went no contact over a decade ago. In that time she has spent gathering information about from any source she can get access to, I've had to cut off family and friends still associated with her. She found out where I live and has been harassing me on and off for 13 years, it's been a pattern of turning up at my home uninvited (the door gets ignored), letters through the post or emails love bombing followed by ridiculous verbal abuse and name calling when it becomes clear I'm still going to continue to ignore her after her latest contact attemp, police are no help. I'm now planning to move to a different country because it's exhausting. I'm keeping it light, there have been so much more disturbing behaviour from her that now leaves me feeling I have no choice but to leave.
My ex, I once made the mistake during a conversation where I said the words "when we break up." He totally lost his sh!t screaming at me asking if I was planning to leave him. Then he said "you don't break up with me, I break up with you." After my experience with my mother and after this outburst, I knew it was dangerous to let on that I wanted out of the relationship. I found out he was cheating because the new woman called me to fight me because I had really abused him and she was here to save him. I used the opportunity while he was with her to leave MY OWN HOME and move far away where he couldn't find me and I changed my phone number. I later found out through a friend that he was regularly putting paws on his new saviour because she apparently made me leave with his child. Funny that because he was the one who instructed her to start blowing up my phone out of the blue to start beef with me.
After My father know that I know he is a narcissist he don't want me to leave and he promised me to pay me very advanced price to work with him to keep me in his sight I am now confused I need that much many but I need to be out of contact.
He will use that money and hold it over your head forever! I don’t know your financial situation, but I would avoid working for him if possible.
Narcs serve no one but themselves. If a person wants to let you live your life independently, they would help you out financially straight up, given the situation. But a narc will never loosen their purse strings till their last breath, in a bid to hold control over you for ever. Let me be blunt with you - you are not going to be financially benefitting from this situation. Staying NC will at least save your dignity and sanity. Up to you.
Money is needed for survival. You understand what you are dealing with. In my opinion I think you should stay where you are until you get your escape plan established to your satisfaction. Some people think victims should leave regardless of the greater problems that could be piled on. Ending up homeless in the winter cold & other problems could be possibilities.
You know your situation. Only you can review your options & make the right decision on the plan of action. [When you have time to yourself to relax] is a good time to have a conversation with yourself & ask "How can I make this situation better? & What do I need to do to carry out the plan?" This will activate your brain to come up with answers.
Tupac Shakur was at a point so low that he was ready to give up entirely. He asked himself how he could make things 50 times better. Things came into his mind about making things better & he became an international rap artist. (Although he is deceased, I love him with my heart & mind & soul because while he was alive he tried to help the poor people recover their lives in the ghettos. He was in the tribe of all us empaths scattered around the globe. He had narcs viciously attacking him.)
& There is the case of Albert Einstein who was searching for answers. He would lie down to relax in the afternoon. He said the answers to his questions would just come to him when he was relaxed. He didn't have to think it out on the things he wanted to know.
Our brains are like inherent spiritual gifts that can operate like computers to help us. I am sure you are well equipped to make your own decisions.
@@helenshg4580 Very well said.
I think im being hoovered... But need help so bad that im thinking im using the kindness, aware, as im leaving anyway. Its a little risky, but im prepare, not trusting
The narc has hoovered several times . No response from me. Last weekend Marc rode by where I hangout with my family...The has never rode by before. The narc had their new supply with them! I'm being stalked now? They are CRAZY!?
In my opinion narcs act crazy & belong in mental institutions &/or prisons. Their actions are predictable. We can expect them to act irrational while they flaunt themselves & harass people. Ditto on what I said above about where they need to be.
I've been thinking about order or protection
@@helenshg4580 I've been thinking about order of protection
Move. Block. Change your number. Yes- a protective order is a possibility,but the chances are, when Marc violates it and you call the police, somehow it will be turned around on you by the narc and you will end up in jail!! He'll be out to coffee with the cop...his new best friend ! Trust me. Cut bait and run...
@@sunnyadams5842 Number been blocked. And She is CRAZY. I KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR HER. Thanks
They'll go all out to ignore or hoover you. 🍒
Shape Shifters 🎯 👻👺
Facts Facts Facts oh well .. 🤫pssst it/she will be lying and raging on my shadow becuz im on my healing journey.. im gone like a civil war soldier
How to connect with u
Why they shutdown suddenly?? After 15 yrs ??is this coz of new supply or baby coming ?narc cheated on wife for 15 yrs ams now made her pregnant and blaming and ignoring girl frnd and hiding what's app notification??is he having a new supply will the covert narc leave the girl frnd for ever and b loyal with wife and kid??is this narc really happy with the kid coming after 15 yrs thru ivf as he is facing some issues related to intimacy??
Please, please, please!! Educate yourself!! No offense, but it is frighteningly obvious you need more information. Soon, my dear!!
Can u explain danish more on this infedility in infedility having multiple partners
@@VanashreepandeHealyoursoul What do you need to understand more? I'm thinking you may be suffering from the same issue I experienced when I first began to learn and try to see and accept the truth of what was going on. I could simply NOT BELIEVE that such incredible EVIL WALKED THIS EARTH...And had visited itself upon me!! Why? I screamed to God.
The only answer is that they ARE that evil. Evil spelled backwards is LIVE...which is precisely what sonic energy is wanting to make sure you do not do! Evil with a D also Devil. Think about it and good luck. The sooner you can wrap your mind around the complete truth of the narcissist's sickness, the better for you! 💜🙏💜
👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
It sure sounds like you’re describing my current girlfriend…
Please man, get out , get out as fast as you can and never look back!
Ehh! Snakes gross
I put the mirror on her and she didn’t block me on Snapchat this time she kept me around and posted some bullshit to bait me into watching her story. Which I didn’t. She seen me with another girl on my Snapchat story on a date which I took to her job to directly spite her and give her a narc injury. She ran into the wrong one. I’m a savage. Not a victim. I might even have developed some of her traits. And I don’t care. I’ll be the villain then. No narc or psychopath is going to damage me without paying. I threw the victim mentality away and went for the jugular. She’s seen me with a few other girls in the past when one day she canceled on me to fuck some other dude so I fucked a girl that looked better than her the same day and let it be known later on. Don’t fucking play with me. 😂