Real talk: Do I argue with my boyfriend? Ibiza Vlog | Tamara Kalinic
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2024
- In This Video: We are in Ibiza with friends and I was not the most successful at capturing content as I spent most of my days swimming, catching up with friends and reading a book. We had an amazing time and even managed to squeeze in some shopping, which I have filmed for you. Filippo and me talked about how and we argue and how apologises first and I would love to hear you thoughts on the subject.
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Love,
Tamara xo
What he was saying is important. It’s important to understand the other person’s feelings and perspective, and not just your own. It doesn’t have to be about right or wrong. It’s just understanding and empathy.
💯
Your boyfriend is a wise man. Definitely a keeper.
absolutely! so wise, so funny, so kind!
A gentle soul he has!
He is also 15 yrs her senior. It'd be a sad sight if he were not cool, calm, and collected aka wise. He loves her dearly because he's having a lot of patience with her.
An advice for life: It’s weak not to apologize. If someone tells you that you hurt them and they need an apology, you just do it and you have no right to say “no, i didn’t hurt you”. You are not in someone’s head or heart and you have no right to deny their feelings. Thinking that you shouldn’t apologize because you are proud or you were raised like that, it’s wrong and immature. Soft skills can always be improved.
Intention versus impact. It's not always about what someone intended, it’s about the impact it has on the other person. If something we say hurts someone, or impacted them negatively, for that we should be sorry. We may not be sorry for what we've said (we intended to say it), but we should be sorry for how it made them feel (the impact). Just my 2 cents!! Love you guys! Great video as always :)
That's such a great way of putting it 👍
Yes it’s how I see it too ☺️
this is so beautiful!
Love this! ❤Thanks!
tamara, universe has sent you such a wise, kind, smart and loving man...be thankful and just listen and learn from him
Tamara have to say you’re boyfriend is such a wise man and a humble soul he is definitely I mean definitely worth keeping and he is super cool you guys are made for each other stay safe stay beautiful ❤️❤️
Agree 💯
it is your "ego" talking not your pride...in a loving relationship ( which you certainly have ) there is no room for ego...keep it under control! you are good for each other...best of luck!
bravo!
A sincere apology requires maturity and wisdom and I am afraid it has nothing to do with pride! Sometimes we may unintentionally hurt other people’s feelings simply because as people we are different! But despite our many differences we ought to respect each other for who we are and acknowledge any wrong doing we might have done! My life experiences have led me to the conclusion that it is always the wiser who knows to back off and let the “steam dissolve”. Your relationship seems absolutely healthy and wonderfully balanced! Keep on discovering each other!!
Eastern Europeans are weird in that sense though. More often than not, they are branded rude in the States. They have no softness ('finesse') when they speak.
Italians, on the other hand, are very cordial, polite, etc.
Even though I agree with everything thing you say my husband never apologises, it’s just not in his dna, and I accept that about him just as others need to accept that not all people can be like them.
Your BF is so wise !! He reminds me so much like my partner. He is a lot older than I am and I have learned so much from him. Him being patient and calm has been such a blessing in my life.
Such good vibes from your BF!!
Tamara. It is ok to “ I’m sorry that I made you feel that way “ It would be a very sincere apology It does not mean that you changed your mind or that you would not do the same again but that you are acknowledging that you respect the others persons feelings! Love your videos Enjoy your beautiful vacations! 💜💜💜💕💕💕💕👜👜💄💄
To think you kept this aspect of your life away from us for so long! Your boyfriend is a dream. So mature, measured and fair. I love it for you two!
Love you” discussing” an argument. Cute and human. Also cute him calling you Tammy.
So so refreshing guys!!! So many influencers and their partners present this unrealistic life, everything is perfect and sweet, always! In reality, sometimes it is not so calm and smooth, you guys are brilliant at how you communicate, its very refreshing and normal, love the life you present and the realities, long live a life of true love and happiness for you both! Thanks for these amazing vlogs…
I looove your recent holiday style… about what you’ve asked… if you hurt your bf feelings even unintentionally, and it’s important enough for him to voice it, don’t be proud about it, there’s nothing to do with pride but with the will of being gentle and being kind with the feelings of the ones who love us and want us well… there’s enough people out there in this world that don’t care… be gentle with everyone but specially with your loved ones… 🤍🤍
Also the small dog 🥰
Tamara, I can't wait to see you and your boyfriend's wedding announcement. You both look so good together. Your boyfriend is a wise man, and he looks kind. I hope to hear more from the boyfriend, I like his "teachings" xo
Being proud comes from ego, ego doesn’t like to apologise 😬 you have a great dynamic and balance each other very well…also like most have said you have a very wise boyfriend and that comes from years of listening and learning, much more important than intelligence ❤️
I love this guy, Tamara. His energy is amazing
clever and mature!
I really enjoy these talks with your boyfriend. He seems so intelligent and mature. I love listening to your conversations because I can learn a lot about your perspective on life and opinions. I hope you will make these real videos more often. Thank you 🙏🏽
he spoke facts
Your boyfriend is such a great addition to your videos, he has a great perspective!
First off, I’m a huge fan of yours and genuinely feel like you’d had some sort of positive impact with how I carry myself day to day. I thought about not writing thjs, who am I to pass judgement on anyone, and especially since you are just showing small bits of the whole picture. I have no doubt you both love each other and actually seem like a fantastic match. But it was a little difficult to watch how your….treated him several times throughout the video. You’d make faces when he spoke or was in a frame. Like you were annoyed with him or smirks which to me meant you thought what he had to say was silly or wrong. The part of the Video that stood out most to me was when he was helping you get dressed. You’d ask his opinion but then quickly dismiss it with a funny smirk or face like he was wrong. But when he got down on his hands and knees and helped you change heels, you didn’t say thank you, at least on camera. Maybe it’s not a big deal. But the man got on his hands and knees to help you, and nothing. I don’t have much in life, and certainly don’t live a life resembling anything like to yours, which is what makes it fun to watch. But please and thank you’s and acknowledging the little things loved ones do for us has really made an impact on my life. You seem super polite. But if you think what he has to say is annoying or you’ll make faces to us showing your distaste of his opinion, don’t include him in your videos. Maybe cut his cameos down to leave them more special. Especially since he’s annoying you and how feel the need to make a face at what he had to say. Having great style jd super cool, but being polite and apologizing when necessary are far more important than a Saint Laurent dress. Love you and your content. Thank you as always for all you do.
Wisdom is full of grace and love. I love Phillipo’s kindness and honesty with you, Tamara, it showed his vulnerability and strength in sharing with you. Someone shared a true valuable and wise tip, to leave your ego at home in bed, when you leave in the morning for work or time with loved ones. ❤️🇺🇸🌹💜✝️🌸
I love you Tamara but he is right I felt the rudeness in the last video. Don’t take him for granted since he loves you so much
Your boyfriend is such a genuine nice man. Exactly what a powerful woman like you need ❤️
Love that you are so transparent with us and you’re so open about the reality of relationships where sometimes it’s so hard to agree on something or especially apologize ! Personally I had to work a lot on myself to learn that I’m not always right and it’s okay to say sorry
Angels, I’ve been married coming this September 34 years and been with my hubby since high school . As long as at the end of the “discussion “ there is respect , love , communication and understanding of each others feelings you’ll be good. It’s not easy , it’s a working process till this day In my case, we are both headstrong but at the end we always make it work out. I love you both very much , you both complement each other and it shows how much you love each other. ♥️♥️♥️♥️Adore you Tamara and Filippo 💕💞
We strong women raised from a strong woman , it's hard to step back and look at the great and calm guy in our life who mostly fill in what we lack which is the calmness and steady ness that we need.
I have learned Words hurt and once said they can’t be taken back. With that said, with your love ones ask yourself do I want to be right or do I want to damage my relationship over time? We must always acknowledging how our words or actions make another person important to us feel.
I am in mind of that saying, “Pride comes before a fall.” It’s okay to have pride in your accomplishments, but don’t let pride get in the way of anything.
Love you guys! F is a true gentleman with respect and integrity
I really appreciate you keeping that conversation with your bf in the video. I totally understand both your points of view and it's clear you guys have great communication skills. Lots to learn from.
Tam, your bf is a wise man and I would listen to him more :) I love watching your videos together and you guys are the perfect couple!!!! Remember communication is the key in a relationship. I like the fact that he actually raised it with you rather than keep it inside. On the other hand I love Tamara’s character which is brutal honest 😊 🙌
I love the relationship you have with your boyfriend! He’s so attentive, social and lovely 🥰
Are you not sorry you hurt/ or offended your partner’s sensibilities, even if you believe you are right.
Is there not some room for a graceful response. I am sorry I offended you but for me that is how I see it, but if my response was harsh or offended you I am truly sorry.
You may not notice, but he is extremely careful with your sensitivities, it is an amazing skill to develop, and probably contributes to his successes.
Learning to control fiery behaviour is important.
Wonderful part of a relationship, communication & speaking truly how you feel! You two are the best couple! Love your videos! Take care!💕
Tamara, tvoj dečko nas je definitivno osvojio! Naravno, ja ne živim s njim i ne znam kakav je u svakodnevnom životu, ali njegova zrelost u razmišljanju i ponašanju je fantastična (i vrlo privlačna😊). Bravo F!
This video was so refreshing in that it is the very normal side of life and being in a couple.
When being right takes precedence over how you make the person you love feel, there is still a lot of maturing to do. You can be sorry you hurt someone’s feelings without changing your belief if you were correct on some matter (according to your own personal truth). People feel what they feel and if they were hurt by your words, your tone, your physical expressions, etc. then it is wise to acknowledge the validity of their feelings. If you intended for your words to hurt them then I guess you have absolutely no reason to apologize!
An apology doesn’t negate your stance on your personal truths but it sure does a lot to keep loving relationships healthy! We can be “right” and sorry at the same time. Diplomacy is a skill that must be practiced. Empathy is something that comes naturally from the heart, where you can put yourself in someone else’s place and sympathize with and feel their distress or pain. It’s nice to have both diplomacy and empathy in all types of relationships!
Everything Felipo says was correct, and he’s a true gem bc most men wouldn’t have the patience to stick around and explain why you needed to apologize. I was dating an Italian 17 years my senior for a few yrs until 4 months ago; he was the volatile one, and I was the calm cool collected one. Mind you he’s older than Felipo, so again Felipo is a gem. I ❤ you Tamara, you are very strong, brutal in your honesty, not politically correct, very sweet, and kind. I’m West Indian, so we come out of the womb ready to defend ourselves; but I learned 15 years ago to lose the pride, apologize, and not be so confrontational with ppl who love me.
I could listen to him for days! He is taking over the spotlight and I’m living for it 😍😍
Hello Tamara! It makes me sad even to think about that you guys could fight. You are such a free spirited couple, you give each other a lot of space, there is no jealousy or controlling. Funny that I flighted today with my boyfriend. He did not know what he did at all... The issue was that we just came back from vacation, both very tired, we barely slept 4 hours. I started to unpack, to check what needs to be washed and I find out that my boyfriend had a lot of stains on his shirts. Everyone knows that you need to remove them as soon as possible, in order to protect material, but he cannot be bothered about that. I got frustrated by trying to remove these stains. Then I thought to myself: why do I do that to myself? It's not my job, I am not his mom, he is grown up man, he can take care about himself! Then again, he does not care about that, but I do, because few of these shirts was my present for him. He was confused why I am angry and why I wanted to be left alone. When I calmed down, he apologized and took me for a nice dinner. I think only women would understand my point. We want our men to look nice and clean, and smell good. I would like your boyfriend to comment if it's possible. I would like to know man's perspective on that.
I just found your Chanel and am enjoying bing watching your past videos. I love your honesty. Thank you for opening up your life and adventures to us.
Thank you so much lovely
Love your man’s outlook. The statement that was said between the two of you struck a cord in him so much, that he wanted to hash it out with you. Better to talk it out together and not blame any fault’s.
I also think that you should not talk about your private problems in your channel. It can be used by bad intentional people against your relationship
Tamara your boyfriend is charming, entertaining and so sweet with you. Watching the two of you interact warms my heart and peaks my interest more then the fashion ☺️…happy for you! ❤️💓
I personally only apologize when I mean it, if I stand by the opinion/thing I said and it hurt someone I would apologize for the way I said or how it effected them and have a conversation about it and be better at communicating with that person, but don't apologize for something you aren't sorry for, it's disingenuous
Your best color hands down is white!!!! When you wear white it makes you look ten years younger. It totally brings life to your face. You are very lucky to be in a relationship with a sensitive man!!!!! They are hard to find. A confident man is able to express their feelings, you have a gem in this man!
I had surgery a little time ago and need to stay home recovering so besides working from home I'm watching Tamara videos to stay sane. Love from Portugal
You are such amazing couple, seriously I love your energy and how you tease each other, it’s the best!
First I’ll give you an 11 for the hat and that gorgeous crème dress with the flower on the front is BEYOND STUNNING. Love your boyfriends words of wisdom. You are perfect for each other ❤️……….. 🤗🇨🇦
i love flippo! he seem like a very peaceful person!
You are both a beautiful couple! You both love each other!
I love his perspective....x
I 💗 you and your boyfriend together! You guys are made for eachother and it is so much fun watching you. Btw, your body is perfection! So proud of you, all that you have achieved after years of hard work! You deserve every second of it! Pozdraaaaav!! 💗
Your boyfriend has such a good style😎🥰
I think you guys are so cool and amazing! Your whole discussion helped me analyse my recent conversation with my husband and see it from outside perspective.. I do think pretty much like you Tamara (also Serbian 🤣) but Filippo’s point of you helped me understand my husband view. And I thank you for that 🙏🏻❤️ enjoy your holidays!
I have a few friends from Eastern Europe - it is very hard for them to apologize/say "I'm sorry!" Dunno why. It's not like they are going to dissolve if they do so. No one is flawless.
Couldn’t agree more. This is beyond true, speaking from experience.
Thanks Phillipo wise words
Thanks for sharing
Hvala puno
Try not to put such details on the internet. Usually relationship information always blows up on the internet. We love you so much and we care about you. If there's a fight or something then people usually take sides and public opinions shape private relationships.
Totally agree!! 🙏
I agree if this were a regular occurrence. However once in a blue moon I don’t think there’s any harm in openly discussing conflict resolution as a couple. I think they were respectful and didn’t delve into too many specifics. The key to success in any relationship is the ability to understand how to resolve issues and move on. Assigning blame - ie who should do the apologising first - in my view is not always helpful. What I would have reflected on in Tamara’s shoes is; that this bothered my partner enough to bring it up days later. Rather than dismiss it as ruining the holiday vibe maybe in that moment an acknowledgement that her partners feelings were upset and she was sorry for that at least would’ve been the way forward.
@@CBEEBLE yeah I totally get it. But people on the internet don't have filters. This has happened before. Some of my favourite youtubers were trolled to shit cuz of this. Even if this isn't a regular occurrence, I still think it wise to leave out such details. What do I say, I might be protective. Assuming she reads the comments, one silly comment from someone can actually influence her relationship decisions and such. It's best to keep emotional parts to yourself. Read the comments, please, people are already taking sides. *I'm implying that it's okay to argue and fight and discuss in private. Doesnt matter if its once in a while or all the time. Just do not put it on the internet.*
@@harveyspecter1855 I hear you 🙌😊
No offence as I do realise every relation is different, and unique, and maybe this is subconscious, but you come across quite condescending towards your boyfriend in almost every video
and the fact that she had the nerve to tell him about the rude comment about him that was made in the past video about him acting like a teacher and it was annoying it felt like she felt the need to tell him that because she found it true where he took it very maturely and didnt even care
I’m a Virgo and my fiancé a Pisces and we have legit had the exact same arguments 😅🤣 love you guys
Hi! I commend you both for sharing this video. I actually had my husband watch this with me so I could get his perspective before I replied. My husband and I have had similar exchanges. We have been married 6 years, and known each other for 8 years. We have nearly a 14 year age difference. We have 5 children. There are many dynamics to our lives, so things sometimes get stressful to say the least! We saw this is not so much as you both fighting, rather that each of you are expressing your needs to be heard and validated from the other. After years of my husband and I learning about each other and growing together, (and honestly marriage counseling) my husband and I do apologize to each other even if our truth is unintentionally hurtful to the other. There also seems to be something you, Tamara, are trying to convey to your boyfriend as well. We are not sure exactly what it is, however, From what my husband and I see it is important the validation and listening works both ways. You, Tamara, need validation too. Being careful to communicate respectfully, your partner can also listen to you with out taking it personally. Whether it is an apology or a conscious effort to adapt to your partner and their needs goes both ways. My husband and I find you both very respectable and a lovely couple. Thank you again to you both for this video. Blessings to you both! Keep your love alive : )
I like this "banter" between you and Filippo. So cute. Just an idea, what about a video on his style and what he likes.
You guys are soo cute together! Even when you argue....you are respectful. Tamara - love always trumps pride. You may not always understand why someone is hurt - but it is sincere to apologize for not intending to hurt them. Besos
Can you both do a video on how you guys met and talk about your first impressions? You guys are sooo cute 💞
Also have to say I love to see the raw, honest conversations between you too. It's very refreshing to see a real couple on CZcams.
It was nice you were both so open to share. No side taken of course.
There is a lot of Kurve 🤣🤣🤣 King
Your boyfriend is right - you need a few lessons (as we all do) and you didn't even listen to him here 🤦♀️
Loooved watching these two intelligent and interesting people! Amazing couple you guys are. 💙🥰
It's effortless because you LOVE your job and you're great at your job! ❤
The dog is 11 out of 10 .I loved watching this Flippo is very wise.Tamara that hat is so amazing it’s perfect summer hat
you both are perfect for each other!!! lots of love to you both!
Gledajuci kako ti decko obuva sandale palo mi je na pamet da uradite jedan vlog de ce ti on svaki izlazak stilizovati , od glave do pete, zavrsavajuci sa parfemom. Bas bi bilo zanimljivo da vidimo kako te on dozivljava u modnom smislu i sta smatra da ti dobro stoji i naravno kombinacije boja. Poz.
Just listen to him and don’t fight for unnecessarily things don’t worth it believe me I used to be like you not anymore I think you get older you get more calmer ❤️❤️❤️
I LOVEEE your relationship - you're both excellent communicators! Bravo 👏
Not me involuntarily being a therapist for T & her boyfriend lol 😆
Ahahahaha love you Sissy
I had been waiting for Your vlog, Tamara, since the last one. Lllove it! Enjoying at this very moment 👀
Looking lovely Tamara.love your trousers and white shirt and also the dress with the rose neckline🤍🌹Your boyfriend is so stylish also. Best wishes🌸🦋
Omg wish i have one day like you☺️you have really nice life☺️love your style and vlogs🙉
I’m obsessed with you adding Italian words here and there 😄 that’s so cute! 🥰
Ok…please stop fighting. You two have to stay together forever. You’re both brilliant 😍
Love your travel vlogs ,and your boyfriend is so sweet 🤍✨
To the people who say the eye rolling or twisting seems rude.
I think people do it for different reasons. I catch myself doing it when I’m frustrated with a conversation but not AT the person.
I for one appreciate seeing a more natural interaction between boyfriend and girlfriend from what most others show.
I can 100% relate.
Also that Prada sparkling top…. No words. 😭
I do the same i am just frustrated bc.of the situation.
Loved the perfume demo!! You guys are sooooooo cute together xx
its not always weak to not apologize, especially for women, a lot of them do it all the time, a lot of womens reality is denied.I wish you two a joint and loving journey for a ong time to come
Capisco perfettamente il discorso del tuo compagno...ma capisco e comprendo assolutamente il tuo discorso Tamara ( sono come te). Hai una forte personalità e questo non aiuta quando bisogna mantenere la calma. Lui è pacato e cerca di farti capire che non sempre essere "rudi" aiuta e ci sono situazioni dove devi fare un passo indietro e chiedere semplicemente "scusa". Difficile...siamo testarde. Ma non impossibile. Ps: Tamara il tuo italiano 👌
You guys are amazing ❤️CHOOSE LOVE ❤️
Meni je tako simpaticno i malo sam morala da se smejem, dok je on pricao kako puno koristi ruke kad pokusava da objasni nesto 😅 bas tako zamisljam ljude iz italije 😍 super ste
I am SO happy to see YOU so happy!!! ugh you twooo ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I loved this so much!! I have to ask though, what on Earth is in the back of your car after you go shopping right at the end of the video?! 😂😂😂
You and your boyfriend are just the best! I love watching the two of you.
I love this amazing couple’s dinamics, mature yet fun ❤️❤️❤️
Baš ste slatki💘💘, ali ipak se slažem sa F., i ti ćeš Tamara u njegovim godinama isto misliti, ali svakako si mnogo sazrela u mnogim životnim situacijama pored njega, you are the Love of his life, and I think/hope he is also yours 😊😍
I was literally refreshing my YT, waiting for your video!😊😊
Arguing...
A three-step process for correcting wrong perceptions in relationship conflict and emerging victorious with deeper love:
The first thing we can do in these situations is to acknowledge internally that the pictures we have in our head, what we think happened, may not be accurate. Our practice is to breathe and walk until we are more calm and relaxed.
The second thing we can do, when we are ready, is to tell the people who we think have hurt us that we are suffering and that we know our suffering may have come from our wrong perception. Instead of coming to the other person or people with an accusation, we can come to them for help and ask them to explain, to help us understand why they have said or done those things.
There is a third thing we need to do if we can. The third thing is very hard, perhaps the hardest. We need to listen very carefully to the other person’s response to truly understand and try to correct our perception. With this, we may find that we have been the victim of our wrong perceptions. Most likely the other person has also been a victim of wrong perceptions
Try to listen to each other. Talk to each other instead of talking over someone or reacting instead of replying. There's a difference between reacting and replying lovingly. Don't let ego overshadow the love you have for each other because the ego is a troublemaker. Love is not egoistic. Love listens to reply not to react. ❤❤
If we are sincere in wanting to learn the truth, and if we know how to use gentle speech and deep listening, we are much more likely to be able to hear others’ honest perceptions and feelings. In that process, we may discover that they too have wrong perceptions. After listening to them fully, we have an opportunity to help them correct their wrong perceptions. If we approach our hurts that way, we have the chance to turn our fear and anger into opportunities for deeper, more honest relationships. ❤❤
Love the both of u ……amazing relationship…… you are perfect together 💗💕
Ciao belli 😍😍😍
Well T. I think we should apologize when we hurt someone’s is feeling . I mean if my bf come back to me the next day and tells me that what I said last day hurted him I will definitely apologize and try to explain each other why it happened .
You guys are so beautiful,powerful together 🥰 wish you all the best 💕❤️❤️❤️
Love&hugs
xo
T. 🇲🇬
Tamara, we need a video with your last sunglasses collection!
That white dress loked wonderful on you! It looked almost cream colored and if so, that is the perfect hue for you for a wedding dress! Haha! As to arguments/fights, please do not be too proud to give a little, especially if he is tellig you his feelings are hurt. You are fortunate that he can tell you his feelings versus someone who would just hold it in and be upset and won't tell you what's bothering them. In this situation, I feel you are missing his point.
Love love love this videos , both of you! Thank you 💕