What Narcissists Do When They Start To See You Being Stronger Than Them!
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- čas přidán 18. 10. 2023
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Ever noticed a shift in a narcissist's behavior when you start standing up for yourself? It's not your imagination. In today's video, we're diving deep into the sneaky tactics narcissists use when they sense you're gaining strength. We'll uncover the mind games, the subtle jabs, and those oh-so-confusing mixed signals. But don't worry, we've also got you covered with tips to stay empowered and navigate these curveballs. Ready to level up and keep your power?
🎓Rebecca Zung is an attorney who has been recognized as one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the country having recognized as a Best Lawyer by U.S. News and is AV rated by Martindale Hubbell. She is also the bestselling author of 2 books, Negotiate Like You MATTER (foreword by Robert Shapiro) and Breaking Free: A Step by Step Divorce Guide.
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The commentary and opinions are for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact an attorney in your state to obtain legal advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.
What Narcissists Do When They Start To See You Being Stronger Than Them!: • What Narcissists Do Wh...
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Want to learn more about how to be your own hero? Join me for a free live webinar! I will give you all kinds of tools, and how to shift the power dynamic with a narcissist. Join me right here👉 slay.rebeccazung.com/freetrainingrz-3627
I can't wait to see you all there! :)
doctors don't wear scrubs lol
@@RebeccaZungEsq i hope i can go! thank you!!
Totally
So ready😊
The only way to get them out of your life for good is the following.
1. No more supply, Notting whatsoever.
2. Silence, ignore and ignore. They are invisible
3. Take back your power ,NO MORE SHIT FROM THEM.
4. Mirror them back to themselves.
5. Move on and live your life for you, THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOT THERE'S.
6. SELF LOVE AND HAPPINESS FOR YOU.
This is what I did after 36 years with him.
And it feels great to live my own life.
Congratulations to you LOVING YOURSELF MORE THAN THAT SICK PEARSON!!
What narcissist? As the saying goes "It Does Not Compute"(paraphrased B9 "Lost In Space" tv series 1965-68. The narcissist doesn't "compute"
I can be powerfull
Very true. Although I found after years that mirroring their behavior back to them was satisfying to my ego, but eventually it brought me to a dark place. I don’t want to be like them! ..even if it’s just an act to get by. And it just infuriated the N even more and gave them more fuel to start fires with. I just had to shut them out., while still living together. And spend a lot of time alone, getting to know my true and strong self all over again.
Amen
I feel sad for the child that was abused, but I don't feel at all sad for the monster they've become.
Ohkaaaaayyyy!!!💪🏾👊🏽
Yup.
Agreed I feel like we all go through traumatic events as children some point we’re probably all bullied on some level so what gives them the right to hang onto that so hard that they grow up and become adult bullies who literally bullied their spouses the one who would defend them to death
I walked through the door of Faith into my new house a month ago ... Peace of Mind is Priceless !!!
I just did the same. I'm struggling here and there, but have faith it will be good eventually. Bless you on your journey.
YeeeeeS Amen to that!!!!
I walked !!!!!
GOOOOD on ya Lady love yassssss!!!!!
Moved into my own house 3 months ago, it infuriated her, I outlined their part of me making the decision, accountability for their actions is not taken well.
They see the light in you, decide they’d like their own at some point & that they literally do not know how to achieve it within themselves, so they become enraged with jealousy at you. Relationship ruined.
The NARCISST is acting like l am the NARCISST, treats me lnvisible, Silence, like l am him. His previous Supply must have treated him like this. This is some BS.l have been anything but Narcisstic to him. He used me and flipped the Narrative. They are Sneaky!!!
So sad
Is it me or are more and more people having to recover from narcissists?
Another of alcholic behavior also don't take away my bahh bahh...they will use people till they get what they want ..selfishness self-centered to the extreme
I'm still going through it but now I know he is a narcissist, it is a new Day😊 He's getting no more supply. Sad 28 years 😢
It's not just you. I was married for 17 years to a covert narcissist before he dropped his mask on the occasion of my retirement. He made me so miserable I almost walked away from the comfortable retirement I had planned for to make way for his next victim who he already had waiting in the wings. Divine intervention is what saved me. I'm not entirely out of the woods but hanging in.
No it's not just you as we learn more about narcissism they seem to be coming out more and more with their toxicity, get away asap may God help us all to get healed from these kind of individuals before losing your self worth😅
Add me to that list
Lie about things they don't even need to lie about. So true and bizzare behavior.
So true! But they always tell on themselves eventually.
Yes they Eventually get caught
Here is a trick:
Do not let them know you have figured them out.
After you distance yourself from the Narc, level up your life, complete the healing journey, do fun stuff, post on social media pictures of your leveled up version, but do not write any caption. This will make them fantasize about the new version of you but also subconsciously wonder if you haven't figured them out and they have a chance of getting you back. You writing anything can be read as a message to them. Do not give them the supply. Silence is powerful. Caption destroys that and removes the air of mystery. Just showcase your new reality and do not speak a single word. Meanwhile, get more educated and stay vigilant.
excellent.Better yet, do not even post anything. leave them in the total darkness
Great, I ve done that
Why care
Totally. Insecurities to the max. Never at fault. Whatever you do, it's never enough.
Stay strong! ❤ I'd love to have you join me on my FREE webinar >> ICANSLAY.COM
so sad
win
Super facts
(ANNOUNCER) (O/C)
“Johnson lines up for the field goal, I tell you Buck, if there’s ever a sure thing from this distance… it’s Johnson, all right! In all of his previous stops, he’s been 95% from this distance, life time.
But this is a new team for him this season & this will be his first, of hopefully many “made”… they’ve got to keep a close eye on the clock, it’s becoming an issue… they’ve got to hurry to get the snap off… wait, it seems like… what’s this, it appears that the assistant coach is trying to bully the coordinator and is demanding that they call an audible at the line, but they’re not prepared for this, they don’t have the personnel, nor the time, or any time out’s left, this is gonna be for the game, Johnson screams at his snapper to just snap the ball and run the play that was picked… The snap is good, the kick is good, does it have the distance… OH NO!! HAVE YOU SEEN THAT FOLKS, UNBELIEVABLE!!
I’VE GOT TO SAY THAT THIS, AND ALL MY YEARS IS A FIRST FOR ME!!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AT HOME, DID U SEE THAT?!?!
THE ASSISTANT COACH HAD RUN ONTO THE FIELD AND PHYSICALLY MOVED THE GOAL POST, ALL ALONE, WHICH CAUSED THE KICK TO COME UP SHORT & IT COST THEM THE GAME!! UNBELIEVABLE!..
JUST DOWN RIGHT UNBELIEVABLE!!
LOOK! NOW THE COACH IS GOING AFTER JOHNSON!!
JUST BERATING HIM!!
NO!!
THE COACH HAS JUST ASSAULTED JOHNSON!
SOMEBODY, PLEASE GET DOWN THERE BEFORE JOHNSON REALLY GETS HURT!
FOLKS WE GOTTA GO!!
I’m your host, “Yu-kant
Maka Thisleup”
Thank you for watching. And goodbye for now.
🤚
😂 Dude! That was s-wait…
Yeah, I’m right here. Put ur
🫵hand up dude. We’re doing
“Who used to be Johnson?”
roll call
Walked away 5 years ago. Best thing ever
You got this! I'd love to have you join me on my FREE webinar >> ICANSLAY.COM
Yes!
So sad so sad...made worse when your heart still tells you this person could have been the love of your life and no matter what you do you can't fix it!
@@RobWash-cs5qt this is the saddest for me. Sadly, they just won't stop the BS! It's so hard.
Or maybe they couldnt be and they just pretended being who they are not and they dont really believe in love after all only to a certain degree .that cant be the love of your life
God is helping me walk away,hallelujah God is so good!!
amen!
God helped me get away from my narcissist last year
I am walking away I am just tired and fed up
Narcissists aren’t all born out of trauma. Many grew up with parents who indulged them and have had overall happy childhoods.
Yes - they got everything they wanted but no actual parental love/ emotional validation
@@impossiblegems No, many did. They have had overall happy childhoods.
My ex narc was spoilt rotton as a child and came from a well off family. His dad is lovely. Dont know about his mum buts his sister doesnt speak to my ex and warned me 4 yrs ago hes a compulsive liar and boy did she hit the nail on the head. He is a compulsive liar ++++++ about absolutely everything. Can't believe i fell for all his disgusting lies for 7 years
It's the brain structure 😢
@@bebedulce9986that makes sense
I have been through the anger, rage, violence, manipulation, and all the rest. Now I am at the stage of going super nova! It doesn't matter if she leaves me now. I will have self awareness and firm boundaries. I will call her out on her bs and stay in control of myself. I have been doing it and it drives her crazy. She is now using breadcrumbing, love bombing, hoovering techniques but they are all clearly seen. I feel like when Neo realized he could stop the bullets from the computer programs in the Matrix. It is the perfect picture! All they operate in is the game! Wishing she could heal her deep shame wounds. She has gone through incredible abuse in her life. I feel for her yet I won't allow her unhealed abuse to be cycled back around on me. This is the key for Empaths. See what they are doing. Allow them to grow up, if they will. Allow them to seek healing, if they will. It is rooted in such deep shame that they will not look at. Good luck Empaths!
If it is said that a person becomes a narcissist due to childhood trauma,how can I help them overcome that or not let allow myself grow to hate them for how they then treated me?
@mervynwylie1123 very challenging!!! But as you get honest with where they are, you can see them in a light of hurting people. At the same time, you must see your inherit value as a person and keep your value, create a boundary around your identity and don't allow anything they do towards you to speak to your identity. Only see their bad behavior as the pain in themselves coming out of them in an unhealthy way. Make the stand that they need to treat you with the value that is within you. Then it is on them. If they choose to keep mistreating you, then you end the relationship. If they value you in the way that you value yourself, which I hope you know that you are priceless! Then the healing, healthy relationship can start:)
It literally is like When Neo realized that he's ''the one''💪😆
@1windyoldbird I totally thought it was hopeless too! Yet I am listening to videos by Tim Fletcher on complex trauma, and now she is too and a change has taken place!!! Humility, confession and a desire to do the work that is needed. So thankful to videos that heal!
Keep strong
TRUTH. During our first admin divorce hearing, my ex first said her never received my divorce papers and then, IN THE SAME CONVERSATION, turned around and said he found them AT HIS MOMS HOUSE😳
My lawyer was like “Did he just Lie to a magistrate’s face!?!”
I said: “ yes. Welcome to my world.”
They contradict themselves!
I have walked away after 44 yrs,in bondages,🙏💟💞🌞💪
Some narcs are just raised so spoiled, allowed to be jerks but also neglected and abused. 😢
They all present a little differently but always reveal themselves and I’m becoming adept at playing them and weeding them out.
Stay strong! ❤ I'd love to have you join me on my FREE webinar >> ICANSLAY.COM
@@RebeccaZungEsq Thank you and I’ll consider it. You along with Sam V and Richard G have been instrumental over the last 7 years of me studying all things cluster b in protecting myself from what seems to be a epidemic due to social media and Schrödingers. You only have to go through that once to understand that you must weaponize yourself or you are a sitting duck. Thanks for your counsel throughout the years. 🙏
If you watch really close, they are like vampires, they have to ask to come in(and take your life). Maybe not in so many words, but it’s there. Start watching for it, very early on, the next narcissist you meet, will ask to be let in to your soul.
Varying devices, same result.
I walked away, just want them to stay away. They are very delusional people. So sad.
They are very evil people
I’m finally walking away. Took 2 decades. Thank you for your advice. 🙏
When he was hoovering… and he asked if he could stop by… when he showed up I got instant diarrhea… talking about fight or flight! I told him every time you come around I get diarrhea… I wonder how he took it. I took it as a very bad sign and that I needed to see him less… meaning never
My narc gave me so much diarrhea. It’s the freakin stomach acid from all the anxiety.
😢
I actually got that gut response often as well, just goes to show you they affect our physical as well.😢 freaking cretans
12 years i poured Love into my husband before i realized what he is. There was always a part of him he NEVER allowed to get to,now i know why. Its all very sad but my empathy is what got me into the mess with him.
Me too. I understand…it is painful.
I was 8 yrs in and 6 yrs married
amen !
going to win this battle
I can be powerfull
I get so sickkkkkk of hearing that statement hurt people hurt people. Although i get it ive been extremely hurt,backstabbed,and betrayed by everyone and it made my heart stronger and even more pure and i chose not to become bitter and hurt others or take revenge.
You are strong and brave you go guy.
Me... It's all self defense n boundaries.
No hijackers or mutanists welcome in my life.
You give me hope...i am currently preparing to escape 37 year marriage with a covert narcissist..... not so simple but baby steps..... new phone if my own, my own credit card, separate bank account in didn't bank.......I am starting to feel powerful...... just hoping the lawyers won't take all my money😢
Left a 33 yr marriage this past June and my lawyer added that he pays for her service (I paid her cash up front that I had secretly saved). Build your small army behind their back then when you leave have the lawyer to add a temporary restraining order and block him. Go no contact. And they will try to manipulate you back- DO NOT FALL for this- it will happen. They don’t want to lose all the power and control. Stand and fight in truths n proof and don’t play the silly games Anymore ❤.. best of luck honey. You got this! 😉 🙌
@beachy9920 thanks.....I will try to keep focused and keep my eye on the prize......a peaceful calm existence..... that advice about the restraining order is great. I will tell my lawyer. My husband will definitely NOT go peacefully......
@@Randy_s_1964 best of luck babe ,,, and we have 2 small businesses together and the TRO keeps him from selling/buying/trading any assets 😉… so he’s BIG mad 😆 💅 TAKE BACK YOUR POWER
If I were in your shoes, I would get some psychotherapy with well trained psychologist that understands narcissism, 37 years exposure to a narcissist is long enough ti do a number on somebody 😢
They likely will, darn lawyers.
I don't agree on them being solely born from trauma because that would make us continue feeling sorry for them, a huge part is genetical. Some of them were always greedy and just absolutley unhappy with not getting whatever they wanted. Some/many were spoiled
agreed many were spoiled and not traumatized
Feel sorry for whom? The narc? No!
@@jackilynpyzocha662 Feeling sorry / empathy for them is what made us (me, for sure) get and stay traumabonded to them. All their guilt tripping and them playing the victim role got me stuck. I refuse to feel sorry for them, any longer.
Spoiling a child is now considered a type of abuse.
A very spoiled child is also a narc
I graduated in 1982, 7th of 8 kids. I was so so so so so so easy to have in the family. Then, once out on my own. I began living my life. I, duh, thought they all would be happy for me forming my adult life. Hahahahahaha. Funny now, but the absolute cruelty I received on my person was horrific. Now at 60yrs old, I have gone no contact. It will never be OK that I loss my family, but, WOW. GOD paid me forward with my son who I kept from them all. Their loss. My son is incredible. Thank you for your message. ❤
I'm 59, almost no contact(through bitter pain) with the narcissist(dad). I am feeling better.
Wonderful 🎉I lost my adult kids after divorcing the narcissist. Ironically we all were abused by the narcissist inside the family structure yet our adult kids decide not to have a relationship with me for 9 years now. I am living my best life and have moved on.
If I didn’t love him with all of me he would have never been able to devalue me. EVER!
I'm walking away, and already in no contact mode 😊
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I could never figure this person out until I started reading about narcissistic people, they are also liars and script flipping skills
He's actually ALWAYS very polite to the waitstaff. More polite than he is to me.
After 20 years being with a narcissist, I’m walking away
Thank you for your videos
you been with me since I start this awful journey
Before I didn’t know what was Narcissist thank you to your videos I am educated now
My Narcissist, it’s pure evil
Two times I try to kill myself thank you to his manipulations the third time I was not able to do it
I will never forget His words
You’re gonna have to try it again this time you must be successful
Be careful, stay safe. Praying for you 🙏 ❤️
Well done for leaving after 20 years. My relationship has just ended after 7 yrs of going back and forth. I do not like thus feeling but your courage has inspired me to be strong. I had recently also thought about suicide as a way of getting out as I could not take the rages anymore and was not confident to tell him to leave
I really appreciate your sharing thank you. I wish you all the best going forward. U will love even more now yourself!!!! And that is a beautiful gift to give to you
Wow! Praying for you
Look at God!!!! God got you...Be encouraged!! Continue to Pray🙏....Jeep the FAITH IN YOU AND GOD!!😇
I am going through the same thing. I am sick and have decided to discontinue my care, but had not told the family that yet.
He ignored my birthday, and then he sabotaged Christmas. He won't show remorse, he won't apologize. There is something not right with him. I said that I will leave in 6 months because I am disabled and really sick. I had decided to no longer continue my treatment and get a DNR and was waiting to pass after my son graduated.
When I told him why I was so upset about Christmas and why I chose 6 months. He goes oh great, so you are dragging out six more months of misery? And then canceled my credit card.
You are not alone.
I've walked away and he still keeps coming back with insults, accusations & road blocks to stop us from getting a divorce. Your information has helped me tremendously! Thank you
Marriage is their mustache(disguise.) Makes them look normal, and they're NOT!
i thought you said "she" and i was about to say BRO.. 🤣😭 but same sentiment. You are chosen. he is not of your status. you have the literal power. stg ✨️ use the insults as therapy. he is helping you detach. that's what i've been doing. my ex she only cares for herself. you can get thru this remember.
Restraining order is the only way to go to fully get rid in this situation
I’m divorcing the one I was married to I pray he signs the papers
Time to walk AWAY from haters,backstabing, narcissist's.
They experience on dealing with some problems. They are vulnerable, because they are not able to see their own flaws.
My monster took everyone & everything in my life. He left me with no one & nothing. I am barely surviving. My life is a complete hell on earth& he loves it.
He hurt me beyond words. & I cannot seem to feel any better.
You won't until you get without him.
Get out and enjoy life, you’ve only got one!!
He attached himself to you because you have something valuable, you are a good person and he fed off your kindness. Now you have an opportunity to be kind to yourself. May you find your worth and feel it again. Sending well-wishes to you to feel your worth and begin loving yourself and your life again.
S@@avagordon1597
Hope you're doing well today.
I've been there, its a step closer to the door that you even notice they're behavior. Just know you're not alone. You have options take your power back.
So sad I got caught up in this kind of relationship for 3 years drove me nuts ! You hit every point spot on
After 40 years of being with a narcissist, only being aware for Tee And, I’m walking away
So sad. One of the hardest things I've done is going through a divorce with a narcissist.
My dad is a narcissist. I am emotionally, physically divorcing myself from him; for my own protection. Instant decree!
the covert / communal narcissist is the Bad Samaritan, my adoptive mother was one: mum of the year in public; wicked witch of the West at home
The opposite happened to me. I got depressed and pretty ill, dirty, addict. So the Narcissist dumped me. I was strong in the beginning. The Narcissist wants to run you down when they realize they can't join you. They want to springboard off someone they used and destroyed.
That's what happened to me as well
@@nekronik im sorry that happened to you. But im glad u get it! I guess we arent alone. And i know u r a cool person, cos I am ! Good luck.
what addiction. don't do that ✨️💙 ur a homie and rare
it's good u got to see the true self of them. love doesn't abandon.
Amen
It was so easy to walk away because
I know I deserve better than that
I was married to him for 15 years and he ghosted me took all the money he could for me after I came through remission from cancer. It was so much stress for the past 15 years he brought so much stress and anxiety to my life so I made a conscious decision when he ghosted me that I no longer want this person in my life
I wish you wellness ❤ I'm currently going through a divorce after 12 years, he completely drained me physically, emotionally, energetically.
My former roommate is a collapsed narcissist and I am watching u tube videos next to her with the volume turned up high .....,
😂😂😂😂 niiiicccee
"I CAN BE POWERFUL" Thank you for your PATIENCE, KINDNESS & RESPECT .... ☺
Helen Reddy's song "I am Woman: I am invincible...I am woman."
They will recruit others….
Mine just silences me to death (25 year relationship) and avoids me wherever she can in the house sitting in the bedroom all day when she's home.
She's really doing me a favour, just doesn't realize it.
Hopefully the papers can be signed soon and she'll have to move out so I can properly start my own life without her.
Of course as a source I've already been thoroughly replaced, had a glance of a text before it was closed, it said enough.
Already predicted that months before I filed the divorce, so predictable.
So glad I've taken the decision to walk away.
Hahaha , I heard this twice before , the partners of narcissists were enjoying the peace of the narcs silent treatment till they realised the partner was enjoying the peace and so ramped up again the madness. Enjoy it whilst you can x
Good on you, she better hope her new supply is willing to put up with her as long as you have! Men are starting to wake up everywhere refusing to get married and shack up with women inorder to protect there own interest.
I am walking away from Narcissistic Gaslighted Abused, demeanish, false accusations and devalued.
for me it is my mother, it is hell right now as she showed up at my house unannounced with a new baby, pets and my bro who doesn't want or has ever worked in his life. I'm feeling dead emotionally. I have to financially support them because they help with nothing. They don't care that I have to finish school and I don't make enough money to support a large family
Impressive! The information shared is incredibly impactful. I've personally observed similar situations with two girlfriends, and it saddens me. However, I recognize the importance of forgiveness because they can't help themselves, and the need to distance myself from them as their actions are taking a toll on my sanity. This is relly a demonic spirit in them.
I had a long time relation with my 50yr old goddaughter. There were no signs of narcism until she recently decided to join me on a spain tour. By the 2nd day..control issues surfaced ...that i didnt wait for her..that i was too friendly..too independent. By the 5th day..she screamed at me in a park..ran up the bus and continued to berate me in why was she there for when it appears I didnt need her!. Threatened to go home immediately.
It stunnned me! This trip revealed a entitled personality..self centred..mean to servers . What a shock!.
I walked away. I have 15 days left at my job with a controlling narcissist. I have a better job lined up and am breaking free from evil.
The narcissist watches you closely because they want don't want you to do the things they do behind your back such as cheating with others behind your back. For example.
No one in my entire adult life had ever treated me like that, 18 mos of berating me verbally on a dime, they had triggered rage, and it had nothing to do with me! I tried and in the end, they made that bed.
Good info. Thank you. Still piecing myself together. Lost myself years and years and years ago about 24 yrs. Learned a lot from listening to you guys online. Been doing self searching for a long time and still learning new info. Thank you.
Wow Rebecca, That first 18mins. of the video described my ex gf exactly. Trapped in survival mode since she was a child(6-7y/o). Her mindset & outlook reflected that perpetual survival mode. I noticed this black & white thinking from her early on in our relationship, and before I started learning about narcissism. So I(foolishly) set out to show her that there was a better way to live. A better way to think & see the world around her. And just like You said: she tried to pull me down to 'drown' me. And as much as I wanted to stay and continue to try and help her see things differently, leaving her quickly became my only option in order to preserve myself altogether. The longer I was around her, the more I felt myself slipping away. When I wasn't in contact with her, I felt far more stable. At ease, even. I greatly appreciate the way You explained the physiological effects to their brain chemistry of constant exposure to childhood trauma during their upbringing/formative yrs. I'm not sure how much is true, but she did share some of her upbringing and her past with me, and it broke my heart(at the time). I understand now that it was a tactic she used to gain more sympathy from me b/c in all her stories, she was always the victim in some way. I walked away from her almost a yr ago, so the actual truth of her past doesn't really matter matter to me anymore. I know she's a narc, she is who she is now, and that she'll never want to change. She proved that to me over a yr ago when we were still together. What You said about a narc's perception of others also being in survival mode, always trying to 'get one over on them' also made so much sense. I couldn't get my ex to see past that no matter how hard I tried. Even though I have no clue what has gone on in her life since I went no contact, I know that the tribulations in life were preventable if she wasn't in that survival mindset. I still have a lot of sympathy for her, but I refuse to speak with her again. The incredible amount of lies & manipulation I dealt with in my 4 short months with her served valuable lessons that will stay with me for the rest of my life. Recognizing that survival mindset, and her intentional self isolation in her life helped me heal by doing the exact opposite of how she chose to live: making myself more available to others around me, and being more willing to help them. Helping others has been a key ingredient in fighting off any feelings of bitterness or resentment. Towards her esp. And I'm glad to say that I've grown, and my life has improved since. I'm thankful I got away from her before she could establish any leverage to keep me in her life. Thank You Rebecca!
It is not strong to be so concerned about their image that they spend soo much energy shaping it in the eyes of others, and devising strategies in advance to ensure they look good. It is not strong to bully others to subject them to strong holds in order to get a one up. These are signs of weakness and deep insecurity. They are cowards actually. It takes strength to be authentic and to be honest and to allow yourself to be vulnerable to their special person. It takes strength to go deep with another to reveal who one really is, not to be superficial and materialist, lying to everyone only to serve their own interests. This is a small minded person .here is not honor not dignity. in this behavior.
All of these things are what I've seen in my narccasti s husband I'm divorcing now.please pray for me and my attorney to be successful in winning this divorce.Thank you ❤😢
I walked away four yrs ago in December yet tj continues to try to terrorize me with lies etc on all social media formats. NAMAslay!
I think ince to this life to become victim of narcissistic guys!! Learning about narcissists people, I realized that my fists husband was, my 9 years boyfriend was and now I’m divorcing with the wort one!!
I listening you and the other lady who was victim of one for years, I’m learning and I’ll keen to never get together again with a narcissist man!! Thank you for so much tips on how to get way at the beginning of a relationship like that!!
Thank you!! Thank you!!
WOW I’m scared I feel like everybody I know is a Narcissis🥺 or maybe I am the narcissist and I don’t even know it there’s a lot to learn and thank you for your work it opens my eyes to a lot
3 relationships in a row - with them... now I am taking a break until I can heal and see the part I played / play in attracting them into my life. Feels like the little remaining energy I have left I will have to use on me for once.
If you’re asking whether you are the narcissist, it’s highly unlikely that you are ❤
I would recommend to check out Dr. Les Carter. I find him to be concise, insightful and articulate.
The fact that you are questioning whether you are a narcissist means you’re not. They never question themselves.
We're all at least a little bit narcissistic 🥺 . That's probably why it's not really diagnosed. But when someone absolutely refuses to face their positive AND negative characteristics and behaves in a way that consistently makes chaos and confusion it may be time to limit contact with that person. Face the facts and quit hoping for someone else to change. 💕❤️
she was the smoothest of covert narcissists, took me 4 years to connect the dots but wow do I feel lucky that I didn’t make a life lasting mistake.
I agree 💯 %.and thats healthy thing to do. LEAVE But when you can't for many reasons ( none of which is some sort emotional attachment ), YOU learn to detach mentally to survive .
Wowzers! This was the most comprhensive narcopedia lesson I’ve heard yet! ❤
its one of the best i found her and zion
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My narcissist is my oldest daughter. It has taken 44 years for me to realize she will never change. All I can do is distance myself and never give her an In, ever again.
That's right they will set you up in between two lies.
I’m walking away soon! Very very soon! I got this! Got to take care of me first! Im worth love!
Thank you for your wisdom, kindness and encouragement. Your working insight is so helpful and this gives me such hope . Thank you Rebecca, keep up this very important and worthy work
Brilliant. I am my mom’s caregiver. This is a relevant message they assert their control. Totally true
I have a bit of concern when putting the "target" in a position to confront their narcissist...when not all narcissists are the same...there are types and degrees of control people need to be aware of. I speak from experience, as my 42 yr old daughter recently lost her life during a narc rage. Not all narcs can kill someone...but a psychopathic ( malignant ) narcissist is fully capable. KNOW YOUR TYPES, AND GET INFORMED...take all safety measures possible....and leave when they are not home...and most of all...seek restraining orders and no contact orders....go somewhere they would never suspect. GUARD YOUR LIFE!
He neglected me more and more and I became more independent it I kept hoping he would realise he loved me - 14 yr marriage - then he started to tell me more and more bad stories about myself!
I'm truly sorry you had to go through that with a Narcissist. I'd love to have you join me on my FREE webinar >> ICANSLAY.COM
I'm walking away when it's time.
Rebecca, thank you so much for all your insights. Looking back/recapitulating on my marriage/divorce it all makes so much sense how my 20 yr marriage, and its disintegration, progressed and now aligns with your explanations. Clarity at last! Again thanks a mil for all of your efforts on our behalf!!!!!!!
she went literally back to the devaluing stage as in the beginning, having me just be on the phone, in the background, used to feel like we were just chillin. nah, i saw it plain as day now. 💯💯
WAO WAO WAO !!! REALLY ON POINT ON EVERITHING .THE MOST CLEAR EXPLANATION OF WHAT I BEEN GOING THROUGH. THANK YOU I KNOW IAM NOT CRAZY AS HE TOLD ME. IAM GETTING STRONGER BELIVING IN ME AND TAKING BACK MY CONTOL BACK.
Good Day Love! Much love, and favor to you! Thank you for all you do! Keep shining!❤
❤ You are an angel spreading TRUTH. NEVER Stop. Thank you & Happy Thanksgiving!
I AM WALKING AWAY!!! I SET BOUNDARIES OVER TEXT TWICE YESTERDAY & TODAY‼️THANK YOU REBECCA❣❣
They make sure they don't invite anyone to their birthday celebrations that will over shadow them.
I am dealing with this in the family this is why I am walking away from all the family members
My mother was the narc. I have ran through every type of scapegoat as survival mechanisms. It was more like stages for me.
At first I was caretaker (age?-11, then truth-teller/ rebel (age 11-18), then perfectionist/achiever (age 19-35), reflection/acceptance/no contact (age 36-37/present)….
I have had my own moments of covert narcissism, collapse (suicidal ideation), protector of people from narcissists.
Outstanding Video and Content!! Every bit of information hits the Bull's eye!! I am feeling so relieved after watching this...Thanks a Ton Rebecca
I walked away after 22 years and 4 children. I have my own apartment now and still dealing with the gaslighting manipulation all the wonderful narcissistic things. Thank you so much for your help getting through this crazy toxic relationship.
The one a deal with will use flirting w other women and cause jealousy and hurt feelings but if I am simply courteous with a man he will become verbally abusive and freaks out.
So sad…17 years and my baby daddy I walked away manipulation at its highest now I believe he is hovering but I’m standing ten toes down an strong as ever been 5 months
Can't believe I found this channel when I did! Just got out of a 2yr relationship with a narcissist! This is 100% spot on! It's only been 3 weeks and yeah, I miss the good times but, everything you say on here reminds me of ALL the bad times. She's still trying to contact me (as of yesterday) and tell me stuff that I said when she's the one who actually said it. Absolutely unbelievable how people can say stuff to someone who they once said they "loved". She overplayed her hand and underestimated my confidence. You're awesome!!!
Totally, because you described a few people in my life who are no longer in my life from advice just like yours and you put a better spin on the information and much more details
Thank you very much Rebecca for this powerful message 💟🙏💞❤️🌞💪
OR they were jealous. Like a jealous sibling who thinks you are the parental golden child and you actually are not.
Thanks for everything you do Rebecca. Your the best with your clear voice and deep knowledge of narcissism. God bless you and your family.
Rebecca in just the first few minutes, you have by far explained the narcissistic personality and disorder in more detail and understanding than I've heard thus far. Thank you for that 🙏
I am praying as i walk away. Yes , feeling bonded and wish things were very different. Trying to break free and not have resentment, guilt, hate, . Etched on me. I rather reach higher , hit the bullseye, and say i tried... i rather i leave and end up better than before. Direction and destination, let it be forgiveness. I know its possible from experience. Thanks for bringing me more clarity and understanding and therefore peace. ❤
Amen I've had to physically remove myself from family and friends..thankful for my dog too pure unconditional love! Very painful when you've been gaslighted to the point that I have spent the last year isolating myself from these people...horribly painful!! Stay strong we'll come thru the other side of this!!
Your analysis is spot on. Thank you for sharing this with us. Very helpful
Great video! I can relate to this so much, you are amazing at explaining it. Covert narcissists are confusing but as long as you understand their mechanism they are actually easy to decode. The more I learn, the more I understand my husband and why he treats me the way he does. In a way he is his own victim, he is miserable and can't help himself, with knowledge I am empowered and see throught his condition. I can ignore him easily now knowing he is a covert narcissist and will never be truly happy no matter what I do, the difference is that I just don't care about what he thinks.
100% this is the relationship I’m trapped in. Covert NPD and a female. I’ll not go into details but would be happy to share the horrible experience. I felt like I was going crazy and have to really pay attention not to take the bait. Every thing she says is 100% has some attachment. Future faking: we have a daughter, the reason and my reason why I’m still here: total friction beyond typing, worst of the worst fight and out of nowhere she BLURTS out; “When are we going to have another baby, I want another baby?” The shock, drew a reaction (like a 2 fer) if I said yes, I’m trapped and sees me as super stupid OR she gets the reaction of me flipping out and just go off and call her crazy and you name it. So of course I’m the jerk, bc of my reaction to the crazy thinking. I gave everything, fully invested house, baby, she has a good paying job but I paid for everything. Always said she was broke, of course with me working all the time GUILT sets in and you start to believe it. Gaslighted beyond belief with her friends and FAMILY so I always look like the problem and complete a$$hole. Everything she accuses me of, I figured out she’s telling on herself. Manipulation with every word that comes out of her mouth. Isolated me from my friends and family to the point I stay home. Of course I am very confident, not over confident, if I wasn’t there is no way I would have made it this far. 12-15yrs according to her, I’m 100% wrong all the time. Blatant lie, DENY DENY DENY. No boundaries, will say the worst and meanest things but somehow will find something worse. Never happy. No one is allowed to be happy or have anything positive without knocking us down. Lately, it’s gotten worse, notching up the neglect, avoidance almost as I’m nonexistent. Sex is withheld. Tomorrow never comes. Oh yeah, on the outside it’s all fake. We go places and she act like it’s real, get back home it’s back to real fake like a switch. Only when we’re around her family (the monkeys to a tee) I’m on the outside, never be apart of that club…so they play me as judgmental. It’s how she’s portrayed me from the beginning. She does the same things to my daughter. Keeps her up late, to keep her tired, plays the part of being an involved mom on the outside by shuttling her around. Controls her food, asks her what she wants to wear eat or do, once my daughter makes a decision BOOM, trumps her decision undermining her thought. Never ending. I had to relive and dig back how it happened, how I got here - it’s embarrassing. Take take take, bc she thinks she owed it. Entitled. Oh and says the most outrageous outlandish off-the-wall things - I’m like who the frk says those things! You don’t know it’s happening, worse she has no self awareness, does not self-reflect…and even say, “I don’t self-reflect there’s no reason to”. Man I chased my tail and still working on it, bc she knew how to drive a reaction and use my logic against me. I mean she knew to make me feel like garbage. Blameshifting professional. I’d be chasing my trying to defend myself, next thing you know I’m trying to clear out 10 things and that 1 point just gets lost and NEVER resolved. No accountability ZERO. I remember saying in the beginning, “she would rather burn in hell than to apologize”. Never has said “I’m sorry” they’re not. Opportunistic with everything. It’s all BS, all of it. When something just happens, silence stonewalling and the next day, could be the worst argument - I mean worst of the worst…one time she came home drunk (lots of details) and I had to call the cops ON MYSELF. The only way to protect myself was to call the police to witness everything and even asked him to take me to jail so I could get away. Police show up, confused, go inside and see she’s plastered…but also receives a call from the same residence saying I’m abusing her and she has a child and worried I’m going to be violent..all while I’m downstairs informing the police. We go upstairs so he can take a look…she starts to grab my kid and tell the police “I just want to leave and go to my sisters house bc it’s not safe here” MIND you she’s trying to do this plastered and my daughter 2-3yrs old at the time sitting confused. I mean grandiose right thinks she can call the cops and lie so they take me to jail and does all of this in front of the police SMASHED saying she’s going to take my kid and drive 30miles to her sisters.
While I went outside to wait for the police, of course she calls her family and lies about the whole thing. They NO ONE could understand why would he call the police on you?” BOOM bad guy again…distorted right? I’m no angel and some will say leave…I didn’t see it until I was almost ruined and felt like i was doing it myself. No I figured it out, long
story and I took the time to try to figure myself out. I’m depressed, anxiety, and severe ADHD, 20yrs of therapy. Stopped a few years after this relationship began but learned about myself well enough to appreciate who I was and personal trauma that I experienced and still sorting it out. If you haven’t guessed I’m probably a codependent, now I don’t believe I am or at least very aware of it. Empath, that’s like superhero stuff, and don’t go down that path too much bc I don’t see caring and over caring as a bad thing. A lot of it fits but sorting this out has been the toughest thing I’ve ever had to do. Seems like I had to quit life to be able to think straight. It consumed me, and still had to rumble through the daily beat down. I learned recently or pieces things up, I’m my father and the person I’m with is my mother. Yup my mother also has NPD. One of the ways I was able to figure it out. I’m aware and it feels like it’s never ending. It looks like I’m losing but on the inside I know what’s going on. Once you see it, you can see it and I’d like to tell my story but I know there’s so many more like it. If it wasn’t for a lot of these channels, especially yours, it would most likely be impossible to figure out. Thank you.❤
Your book “Slay the Bully “ helped me immensely! Amazingly helpful for me to absorb your knowledge and I suspect invaluable for those who face a spouse issue. Very thankful I found it!
bullies are just low level street magicians creating the illusion of power, they have no strength. but you do.
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So, sad. Thank you, for taking the time to create and share this information. God bless you!
I like how you are honest and direct with your speech. I very much appreciate that you consider the audience's time. ❤ Totally. It's too exhausting to interact with them and having to realize what happened in the exchange after leaving their company.
Thank you..hope you could join me in my FREE masterclass 😊
>>> www.icanslay.com
I remember a very evil narcissist didn't give up until I stopped taking his phone calls. I wouldn't give him money or sex. I thought that would run him away, but he still bugged. I guess he thought I would give in to him. Even after I married he still was doing things to irritate me. I believe he was the one who was walking around my house late at night. The police couldn't catch him. I've moved hundreds of miles away from him. I wasn't afraid of him, because I really wanted to knock the bleep out of him & leave him in a state where he could no longer bother anybody!!!
I walked away on April 28, 2023 ,after my 32 year marriage when I realized I was participating with him in my harm. It's been one heck of a challenge to remember who I was and who am I really now? I struggle forward though, I am able to do this.
You meet someone. You fall for them hard and fast. You cant believe how much you have in common and how much fun they are etc..when you stare into their eyes, its you staring back at you. Theyre showing you who you are. You fell in love with yourself. To be a narc, one must have 5 traits or more. We ALL carry 1-3 in us. Not everyone is a narc just because we see a few traits in them and also there are overlapping personalities which look alot like NPD. Just food for thought