I Wanted a Boy. (Gender Reveal Disappointment)
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- čas přidán 29. 01. 2023
- In this episode.. we talk all things gender disappointment, how we really feel about raising TWO girls, social media and how it can get messy when we’re not careful, putting our marriage before our kids and more!! Comment & let us know topics you’d love to hear us talk about in the next episode! (btw we know our set is a bit off center, we’re still working the kinks out and we’re also thinking we might want to replace the tree in the corner with something else? Let us know your thoughts!!) HAPPY MONDAY, LOVE Y’ALL!
FOR US PODCAST
Everything that we share on this podcast is and has been a teachable moment FOR US throughout life. Our faith, marriage & social media are wrapped into one. How do we balance the wisdom we’ve heard, lessons we’ve learned, things we’ve seen, experiences we’ve had? Our hope is that you would walk away with a piece of encouragement ♡
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• For Us Podcast
For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
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Gender dissapointment is so real and is not talked about as often as it should. Of course everyone wants a healthy baby. However, I do believe many have a preference. I experienced Gender dissapointment with my 1st. I wanted a girl so bad and when I found out it was a boy, I was devestated. As soon as he was born and placed in my arms, that feeling went away and all I felt was love. My 2nd was a girl. For my 3rd I wanted a boy. I was TERRIFIED to experience gender dissapointment again so I waited til birth. Im so glad I did. My 3rd was a girl and I was NOT upset. They placed her on my chest and I cried tears of joy. My 4th and last ended up being a boy. 2 boys and 2 girls. The perfect balance 💙❤️❤️💙
I’m happy you realised the disappointment was not worth it. You gave birth to a healthy baby and that’s what matters. Also Good on you for making the decision to not let it affect the love you have for your child because I unfortunately know people who make their children live with the fact they know their parents didn’t want them to be a boy or a girl and that can really affect them later down the line.
It most certainly isn't talked about enough and it's ok for him to be honest about his feelings it doesn't mean he doesn't love him baby girl any less. I'm so glad you posted your comment. Blessing to you.
Did you try any gender swaying methods?
When you listened already but still pop in to support the CZcams drop.. 🇯🇲
Most definitely! Same for me!
My dad and stepmom once told me, by putting your spouse first you are putting your kids first. Which goes with Sav’s comment “the child is our number 1 but we are each others number 1 priority” (round of applause for that btw 👏🏼) but I believe that’s so true!! Putting your spouse first shows a healthy relationship for your kids and they will appreciate having parents who honor and love each other above anyone else.
My husband and I are coming to the empty nest phase of life. We put each other before our girls in their growing up years and with the increase in us time we are so happy to know we are still best friends!! If you don’t put each other first you can’t really display the way a great relationship looks like for them to know when they are looking for their spouse. Also, when the kids are gone it is just the both of you and if you didn’t put the time in all along it will most likely be a very dry marriage if there is one left at all. You are doing to right! Enjoy your podcasts!
I love it Sav!!! You give yourself credit because you are so right. In a marriage we are to put each other first. And, the two of you (dad & mom) partner up to care for the children. 🙌🏽👏🏽🙏🏽💜
Y’all are great parents and I love your views and ways of parenting as some of us didn’t have great parents my heart is melting to see Josh talk about how much having a girl melts his heart
I completely agree that spouse should come first. With that being said, my husband and and I are in a place where it’s our son. I can see and feel the space that’s been created between us. It makes me sad. There are dozens of other contributing factors. It’s not just the shift in focus, but listening to you talk about this really struck a chord with me and has me evaluating so many things. Thanks for always being so open.
Thank you for being so real about everything. I think it’s perfectly natural to want to experience parenting a girl and boy, so people should feel more comfortable expressing that. And your 2nd daughter will 100% know she’s loved for exactly who she is.
I am so glad I get to download this and watch it offline, the idea of the broadcast on video is so nice you guyssss🥺❤️❣️
I’m the oldest of 3 girls, and I recently asked my father if he ever felt disappointed that he never had a boy. He told me the only time he ever felt that way was after he found out my middle sister was a girl, and it was only for a few days or so. He told me that getting the opportunity to raise 3 daughters has been the best thing that God ever did for him. He said he learned how important women are to this world from being surrounded by them every day 😂
I have so much respect and love for my father. For my mother too, but I feel like it just takes a special man to raise headstrong, independent, good-hearted girls. He taught me so much and made sure I knew everyday that I was capable of anything I put my mind to. He is my best friend and biggest cheerleader and I just don’t know if the relationship would have been the same if he had had any boys.
Omgeee you guys are so young! That's awesome you can deff take a break before baby #3. You both seem so much older and mature. Love you guys 💜
I’m a few weeks late but I want to say thank you for share your experiences in your relationship with us. I’m 27 and single and one of my deepest desires is to be married and the conversations you all have with us is such an eye opener
💯 it’s okay to put each other first before your kids. At first I didn’t think that way until our second child then it came full circle and my views changed. Your relationship with your spouse should be #1 so your happy to raise happy children! Exactly as sav said ❤😊
For being so young, you two are so knowledgeable on how your life is going. You’ll be ok because you have God first. What lucky little girls! God bless you always 🙏❤️
I’m obsessed with the hand paintings!! Good call Sav💓
I love listening to the audio and then coming back for the visuals 🤍🤍
God, marriage, kids etc. 100% in that order is correct. If not our kids with suffer.
Me and my husband are expecting in June. So excited. God is good.
I am not a parent nor am in a relationship, but it’s nice to see a young couple talking about this. It makes me hopeful and gets my thoughts going about how much I hope to be a wife one day and have have a marriage that I work at. So beautiful. Many blessings to you two! Well soon to be 4 😊
Hi Josh & Sav!! As a daughter whose parents put me first and not each other & their marriage, my parents really struggled to keep their marriage intact. My parents really struggled with keeping a healthy marriage bc they began to neglect each other HOWEVER they did find their way back to each other after I went to college. My mom says if she could do it over again she would’ve liked to have put her marriage first to save each other the heartbreak & to have given me a better experience of what a healthy marriage is! 💗
Fast food restaurant draft!! Also loving the video podcast so far!!
I freaking love you guys so much! I've listened all day while working and I just love to hear you both banter! Keep up the good work I'm so proud of you guys!
Love love loving this podcast!! Killing it guys 🥰
I enjoyed this so much. I can't believe that I made it till the end. Much love ❤
Best channel. Been watching for years 🫶
I agree with you guys! I think that marriage needs to come first, your relationship. I feel like having kids can make or break a relationship. A lot of couples forget about each other when they get married, and don’t go in dates, etc. and it’s all about their children. But there’s a fine like you know? Cause if you can’t show your kids how you can still focus on each other and give them the attention and supply things they need then how are they gonna learn how to make a relationship work? You know?
Congrats! Love you guys so much. Yall are so funny!
Awee I love you guys and are so excited for you and your family ❤
Loved the podcast can not wait for the next one
I am loving this style of podcast. It is so fresh, honest, funny and mature at the same time. We get to know more of you and to also share alignment of values, meaning of marriage, family, etc. I am 25 and get inspired by you. When I get married, I wanna follow the same marriage values that you share. I love you! You are such beautiful, strong and kind people.
Also on another note, ABOUT YOU WANTING TO HAVE A BOY...
There are more girls than boys in the world, and if you think about it, boys gender reveal are indeed rare. I once read that the secret to have a boy is to conceive on the day of your ovulation, preferably not before, cause the girl sperm is slower although survives longer inside the woman body, whereas boy sperm is quicker to move and doesn't live that long, so the ovulation day is perfect to conceive a boy. If you never try you'll never know ahahahah
Love the new pictures! ❤
I totally agree about putting the spouse first before the kids. I’m not married, but that’s something my parents taught me and it’s something they practiced. They didn’t let our stuff that they had to take care of ever take away from their time together and working on their marriage.
i don’t have kids or a spouse BUT i do agree so much by what the single season has shown . like if i’m not good , life weird … relationship w God off , i’m off , life off … so boom i feel it
Draft ideas: Top 5 Candy (sweet tarts, skittles , etc..) & Top 5 Chocolate Bars
Favorite CZcamsrs!
Awesome topic. Couples can grow apart when the children are the first priority. It's called the divorce of empty nesters. I go by the airplane emergency philosophy. Put your mask on first then take care of the children
The pregnancy pillow is a must. I used my husband as my pillow my first two pregnancy. He hates my pillow too
37:08 totally agree! My husband and I CHOSE to be married and created our kids out of love in the imagine of God. Because of this daily choice it is critical that my husband and I keep each other priority.
This way we can model a healthy marriage (healthy communication, teamwork, love, etc.). Because of this, my husband and our union, must be first. Which is totally worth it and special because he’s my person and we’re curating our lives together.
We just had our second, so we have an almost 3.5 year old and a 6 month old and we are enjoying the new season of married people, dating parents of 2 LOL
And of course this goes without saying, our babes are taken care of and need certain things (that’s not what this is about).
I enjoy watching you guys, we also have 2 girls ages 7 and 9 they’re at a really fun stage I feel like, they play a lot together ,they don’t fight day and night like they did as toddlers, they always have plans for after school and as a result my husband and I have a lot of alone time together, of course we always get invited to their shows with their dolls which is usually around 2 to 5 minutes and then they wanna be left alone again to play longer,it’s so fun to watch them be mommy’s,
So I feel you Josh,
My husband and I went thru that as well especially with our youngest being such a cranky baby, we literally had no time to each other and it was not fun, of course we love our girls so much and wanted to make sure they’re good but it was so hard on our marriage but after the youngest turned 4 it got a lot easier and now my husband and I send a lot of time together
There's hope for my husband and I!! Lol 2 girls as well. 3 and 1. Our 1 year old has just been more needy than our first, and it feels like we hardly have time for each other!
@@BethSchaeffer17 ya just give it a few years, it will get easier,
The posties!!??🤣🤣🤣🤣 You guys are hilarious 😂
Don’t worry, girls are just as good children as boys. they shouldn’t be a disappointment. besides, you still can do anything with a girl that you can do with a boy. :)
🤦🏾♂️❔❔…no comment.
what do you mean
I just started the video, so I don’t have a lot of contacts yet but if this is going where I think it’s going, this is a really important conversation. Disappointment around children/pregnancy/gender is very real. You can’t sit in those feelings forever, but it’s important to acknowledge them. My husband and I got married during Covid, in the middle of my parents nasty divorce, we were broke as hell and we got pregnant five months into marriage. That might not seem like a lot, but there were a lot of events happening around our marriage, relationship, and our pregnancy that were very complicated and caused a lot of grief. So when I found out I was pregnant let’s just say I was not happy about it. For years, there was a lot of responsibility placed on me as a daughter, and the sudden realization that yet another human would be dependent on me was my last straw. I sat in so much hatred, resentment, anger, disappointment around my pregnancy, and there wasn’t an ounce of love towards my unborn child. Then one day, my husband looked at me and so lovingly and graciously asked me if I would be able to love our son once he’s born. My answer in that moment was no. But in the last month of my pregnancy I spent a lot of time in prayer reading the word and I allowed the Lord to heart change towards this new way of life I was about to step into. It hasn’t been easy, and I still struggle from day today with regret and these feelings of just not wanting to be a mom right now. But there’s also been a lot of redemption and the Lord continues to use my disappointment as a sacrifice for his glory
The OG in me wants you guys to bring beach the outro… where you said “See you next vid-d-o”
I miss that too ❤❤❤😢😢😢🙏🙏🙏
hey guys make your mark! yea that flower and plant needs a new spot. The flower is too close in color wit the wall. Maybe use much brighter decor to your set-up
Lol so funny. Love you guys!!! I hope you didn't get too much flack on the crusty comment LOL. It's almost irrelevant what you thought, because it's different from what you think NOW and you adore your BEAUTIFUL wife!!!
And 100% spouse comes first!!! By putting each other first you are still putting your kids first! Your relationship is healthy, your kids will be healthy!!!
Im a girl and having grown up with a good relationship with my father, I can say that sometimes I look up to him or just look towards him for advice over my mom! it depends, obviously only my mom can teach me how to be a good wife etc when the time comes but aside from things that are gendered, I find both parents equally helpful
You GUYS!!!! This is BY FAR one of the BEST CONVERSATIONS I've listened to this year!!! And that's saying a lot because I listen to A LOT!!! Putting your spouse first means the rest of the house remains happy and safe.. Creating an environment for your kids that show 100% unity, compassion, love and Faith is the best way to raise your kids!!! Now, that being said.. In the beginning stages of your baby's life, you HAVE TO make sure their wants and needs are met 24/7.. but you don't want to make the mistake of ignoring the wants and needs of your spouse.. I've been married going on 20 years this November, and it's been NO PICNIC!! It's been extremely hard! And yet it's been extremely rewarding!!! We've had some serious ups and downs.. And our kids (Boy 18, Girl 16 and Boy 14) have seen us in the thick of it.. They've also seen mamma cry!! You're new parents, and just figuring things out, BUT just know.. communication is key!! Savannah, Josh is literally crying out to you that he wants his wife back.. I saw that you recognized that and are attempting to compromise! That's HUGE!! Josh, you have been an incredible support system for Sav throughout the pregnancy!! Keep it up!! Praying for you guys!! Keep the dialogue going!! ~A fellow parent from Texas!!!
You guys are such a beautiful couple I love how your both so chill and real with us when the time is right in the future you may eventually get a son if that's what you choose only God knows
I used to work at VS and they have to damage out all returned panties. Not many people return underwear mostly because they know their size before they buy.
My 1st Son was born March 10 2022 and my husband and I were so happy.😅 We got pregnant again baby #2 is Due March 27 2023 and it’s a boy. I was so heart broken because although the pregnancy wasn’t planned we had high hopes for a girl. Name was picked and everything… I’ve been preparing myself to just accept being a boy mom because I don’t want to get pregnant again. But it’s in Gods hands!
I love the video podcast🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
I always thought about that, and I felt it was so weird. Tags or not. Some places do say you can try them on but specify to do so over your own underwear. I worked at an Adult store for a long while and absolutely everything was non returnable & non refundable. We did have fitting rooms but no teddys (any lingerie that clips or set at the private area) or underwear were allowed to be tried on.
I’m married with two boys. One is 20 and the other is 13. We have always put our marriage first then our kids second. Just like u all said though we are still giving our kids 100% of us but me and him are giving 100% to each other if that makes sense. We have seen many friends put everything into there kids and nothing to each other and they are all divorced now. Divorce is not a option for us and we said that from the day we got married. We got married in our early 20’s and had our first only a year and a half after we got married and that was a big adjustment at first but we made sure we were still giving 100% to each other. We have been together for 25 years and married 23 years. And we are more in love with each other each day. I totally agree with u guys.
I love the vibes
Thanksgiving food draft!!!!
I have a friend that has had 3 boys and her 3rd she was praying for a girl, she loves all three regardless of course but her fourth wasn’t a planned pregnancy but she got her girl 🥺 so you just never know what the world has in store for you ❤
Josh, that watch is 🔥! How do I find a nice silver one like that?
Love you guys ❤️
This is EXACTLY WHY I wash my panties and bras before I wear them. Anything touching my skin. I love this podcast thing you are doing. Great subjects. Blessings.
I so love you guys. I’m so happy God gave me 3 boys and no girls, never wanted a girl. I seen what my sisters went threw with girls.
Sav inspired me to get leather pants 😂❤️ They look so cute on her!
when i worked at victoria secret, they damaged out returned undergarments. i loved this episode, y’all are hilarious. thank you for being great!
33 here no kids... lots of nieces and nephews and a baby sister in law.... she's 14.... fully happy and the grandma to my friend group. Any change in relationship makes the plans for keeping marriage alive and healthy important.
100% agree the SPOUSE comes first. We love our son with all of our being but like you all said eventually he will leave to create his own family with his spouse and children and it’ll just be us here.
Once you get through the first one handling the rest will be ok. You have experience now. My first two are 18 months apart then there are two more that are spaced out.
My grandfather had six girls and no boys; honestly, he just lived in his glory as a girl dad - I feel like after number 4, they accepted it, and by number 6 he didn't even want a boy because he just thrived as a girl dad. Excited for you both and both your daughters :)
Sav, I still think you should switch seats with Josh! The dark tree is washing out your dark hair.
So… wouldn’t the tree wash Josh out with his dark skin?
@@shai6122 Not in my opinion. Sav’s hair is much darker than Josh’s skin. As a woman of color, I feel rich colors similar to green best compliment my skin and others who look like me.
@@shai6122 i was more concerned about his green hat and the tree
Lol! 😂 Maybe they should just get rid of the tree entirely haha
@@ColesheaB as a dark skin woman such as myself, I feel like them having blue lights, it’s not going to compliment the skin like you think it will. Maybe if they had gold color lights to help with Josh’s skin tone.
I worked at VS a few years ago and this was the policy
The policy is you can return them, and if they have the tags and appear to be clean then we put them back out to sell- no washing. If they’re returned and APPEAR to not be so clean then we accept them (if you’re lucky enough to have a nice store manager that lets you do it with the receipt) then they’re marked as damaged and returned to a warehouse where damaged products to. What happens from there I don’t know.
And if you return the panty without a receipt I don’t think they accept it and if they do then it’s you get store credit with the lowest price it can be sold for. So let’s say the panty is $7 your store credit would be like $3.50
I had my 4 boys before I had my daughter and she is the most well protected by her bothers I understand when I had my 3rd boy we thought for sure it be a girl but God gives you this blessing with your 2 girls on that note congratulations
So in retail the items returned that are intimate items like that are shipped out to be damaged and the company removes that sku from the system……most places don’t allow intimate returns 😂 YALL are hilarious….also the washing before wearing is to wash off all the chemicals/dyes used while shipping domestically and in factories while being made. I definitely do not take the time to wash each time lol but to each is own 😅 love y’all!!❤❤
Before my husband and I got married we made it a point to put our marriage first and LOTS of people disagree with us but we come from divorced parents that put kids first and their marriages ended. So we chose marriage first so we are best parents we could possibly be to our children as well as best role models for them.
DIY extra small pregnancy pillow- stuffed candy cane Christmas tree ornament. 🎄
Totally understand your love for the posties sav 😂 that underwear is SO comfortable. I couldn’t breastfeed my daughter after 2 months and I’m STILL wearing nursing bras….is that weird? 🤣 my daughter is 18 months now but the nursing bras I have are just so dang comfy. I will never go back to wearing an underwire push up bra…forget that! Haha
I definitely feel the same way about my daughter. She watches me, she mimics me she LOVES dad but she patterns her behavior after me and it’s stressful lol 😂
Girl dad of two rn and just found out we’re pregnant with baby number 3. We’re not finding out until birth but I’m hoping for another girl. Something about being a girl dad!
I’ve never had kids (am an aunt of 9), but I do use a pregnancy pillow for my lack of sleep due to severe back pain from popping something in my back. Love it, my wife hates it. 😭😂
loves the podcast sh
You are so sympathetic
Love your videos 🤍
Love this ❤
can you link where you got the pictures hanging ?
Hi Josh & Sav. Both should be happy to be father & mother in laws. congrats.
God 1st., Wife and husband 2nd. Children 3rd. And family before others! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I have 3 girls and just had a breakdown because it was time to buy my oldest (9yr) a bra and deodorant. I was like how can I explain body growth and periods to my daughters…. I’m freaking out! 😂😂 I found some good CZcams videos for her and sat down with her for a talk.. I’m not ready for their teen years 😩
Omg Sav! I did the same thing. I bought postpartum underwear and ended up wearing them forever 🤣 💀 They’re just so comfy and don’t ride up my butt like a thong does! “Posties!” I’m dead 😭💕
Wow now i love these i really do 💖💖💖👌🏾
i think you guys posted this on the vlog chanel and not the podcast chanel??
Won't you be posting the "video podcasts" in The "For Us Podcast Channel" anymore?????
i wonder if the returned items go to those VS warehouse sales… or they might just go back to the shelf
The vibes ❤️
LETS GOOOO!!!
I do not have kids but I totally agree with you guys!! Btw you guys are such and ispiration, and great role models !
Jer 29:11
Love the pictures
IN YALLS CULTURE WOMEN PAY FOR THE WEDDING?
In Islam that's not allowed the men are religiously obligated to pay the wedding and a huge amount of money to the wife.
I wonder if they uploaded on the wrong page 😬
Hey you never know the baby could come out as a boy. I’m happy for y’all
Me watching this while cuddling with my pregnancy pillow 😂
i can definitely relate! my name is mary and my mom calls me auntie susie 🤣
Link for chairs? 😍
My husband always wanted a girl. I always wanted a boy. Wishing you health and happiness
Another draft can be Cheese dishes! Dishes with cheese like lasagna, Mac n cheese etc
In South Africa the policy is that lingeries can not be returned and money is not refundable as well