116 Writers Sent Me Their Magic System Ideas (Best Wins $1,000)

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  • čas přidán 9. 06. 2024
  • I ran a contest to find the best fantasy magic ideas, and here's what happened...
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  • Jak na to + styl

Komentáře • 949

  • @Jed_Herne
    @Jed_Herne  Před 8 měsíci +298

    My next fantasy novel, Kingdom of Dragons, is out now! Get a signed, deluxe, limited-edition of the book (well before it goes live on other stores) here:
    Check it out here: bit.ly/kingdom-of-dragons

    • @vonnegutfrey8714
      @vonnegutfrey8714 Před 5 měsíci +1

      Are you going to do another one of these?

    • @satv1769
      @satv1769 Před 3 měsíci +1

      Harry potter magic system could be the best magic system if JKR introduce a potion that can transfrom any megus into wizard. No wand for useing magic and no broom need for flying.Thats it

    • @darksnake917
      @darksnake917 Před 2 měsíci +1

      ok i couldn't actually comment but how mine works is so simple every boy or girl at the end of there 8th grade year and will be tested for symbols and the way they do this is a test with different things now if wielder is dead or died one of the children will gain the power there are different category's for the powers hydraulics aired geo and pyro now they all are different so in hydraulics it could be like clouds or wind could be dust storms but that would be a combination being born of air and sand its cool and awesome in my book get it

    • @manuginobilishair5662
      @manuginobilishair5662 Před 4 dny

      Real original name there… kingdom of dragons😭😭😭

  • @dinosaurkin5093
    @dinosaurkin5093 Před 8 měsíci +1981

    My magic system is that if I cover myself in oil and step outside in the rain, I can fly.

    • @julietbutnotjuliet5919
      @julietbutnotjuliet5919 Před 6 měsíci +58

      this could so be you in credomancy

    • @mr.frogman1827
      @mr.frogman1827 Před 3 měsíci +51

      Ork detected

    • @monkek
      @monkek Před 3 měsíci +8

      i love the comment and replies.

    • @Oobsoleete
      @Oobsoleete Před 2 měsíci +24

      Took getting oiled up to a different level

    • @rannnoch
      @rannnoch Před 2 měsíci

      @@mr.frogman1827 not how it works but whatever. im gonna krump you now

  • @VandarAlden
    @VandarAlden Před 8 měsíci +3265

    Honestly I was really confident in my idea until I realized the sheer volume of contestants. Statistics were definitely not on my side. I'm happy I made it as far as I did. I had a lot of fun putting it together and I'm really grateful for the opportunity. Congrats to those who made it farther than me and especially congrats to Ethan

    • @mincraftbro4000
      @mincraftbro4000 Před 8 měsíci +49

      Bro i'eve liked your magic system I think it could be good for a fantasy story

    • @tracyelder1220
      @tracyelder1220 Před 8 měsíci +36

      I honestly would love to read a novel or even a short story using your magic system. I was really digging the scene you wrote, too.

    • @VandarAlden
      @VandarAlden Před 8 měsíci +83

      Thanks, I'll get to it someday, for now I started on a different project with my sister. It's going to be about a royal enchanter who retired and moved to the middle of nowhere. When something destroys all of the powerful magic weapons in the kingdom they seek him out to try to get more weapons. He has lots of magical weapons because he still loves to enchant but he can only enchant with what's available, like kitchen utensils and other household gadgets. So they go on a quest to find Knights willing to wield the Egg Beater of Annihilation and the Spatula of Indignity.
      The guiding principle in this world is that magic gets powerful as it ages. So the most powerful magic items were enchanted years ago.

    • @GodOfThunder00X
      @GodOfThunder00X Před 8 měsíci +20

      @@VandarAlden dude this is so creative and funny, I'd love to read that

    • @VandarAlden
      @VandarAlden Před 8 měsíci +15

      @@GodOfThunder00X Thanks! Now I just need to get my writing to catch up to my creativity

  • @ashurean
    @ashurean Před 8 měsíci +2268

    The memory magic system immediately makes me think of one thing: trauma. How powerful are traumatic memories? Could some evil organization brainwash soldiers and inflict horrific torture on them to turn them into absurdly powerful human weapons? And what would be the long-term effects? Would the mental scars of the trauma linger even after the memory has been used up? Inevitably rendering these people into insane, animalistic monsters that don't even recognize their own reflections? I can see a LOT of interesting conflict arising from that.

    • @marwanmannou5918
      @marwanmannou5918 Před 8 měsíci +56

      i also thaugh about what if someone remembered the time when he was a sperm, can he destroy the world ?

    • @briannewman9285
      @briannewman9285 Před 8 měsíci +28

      I think which memories are taken should be random. They have to be of a suitable strength, but that's all. Some people lose too many memories and become ghaunts.

    • @ashurean
      @ashurean Před 8 měsíci +65

      Another minor alteration that came to my mind is, instead of a memory being burned off immediately, it's instead drained like a battery. The memory grows more and more faded as it's drawn from until it's entirely gone. This could tie in with potentially having memories causing different effects based on some defining quality.

    • @ashurean
      @ashurean Před 8 měsíci +29

      ​@@briannewman9285 I don't know about random for what seems like a pretty hard magic system, but you could meet in the middle and have different kinds of memories offer different effects. So a hero might need to choose between having access to a certain power, or saving one of their most precious memories.

    • @briannewman9285
      @briannewman9285 Před 8 měsíci +7

      This is about writing a story, not creating a game. What is more dramatic, trying to game the system? Or a character thirsting for power and risking everything that makes them a person (their most precious memories) every time they reach for power? Russian roulette will beat Magic the Gathering ANY day for high-stakes tension.@@ashurean

  • @MegaBeeYT
    @MegaBeeYT Před 7 měsíci +603

    I honestly LOVED the quote: "Do YOU know yourself well enough to become Immortal?" Like- the system could've been better constructed, but that quote hit HARD

  • @LordAteag
    @LordAteag Před 8 měsíci +830

    Soil of the Ancients has HUGE potential for alchemy. I'd love to see this worked out.

    • @VandarAlden
      @VandarAlden Před 7 měsíci +30

      Yeah I had some thoughts along those lines. I'm currently working on another story but it is a magic system I intend to get back to

    • @GenJuhru
      @GenJuhru Před 7 měsíci +5

      I'm thinking a location has became barren causing not only the flora and fauna but the native community there to go extinct. Ofc, it won't be of natural cause... Sounds familiar but I guess you can always sneak in a survivor's revenge plot.

    • @thepowerofthemind6450
      @thepowerofthemind6450 Před 6 měsíci +4

      Yeah. Honestly I don't know why he didn't expand on the various jobs that could arise from it.
      Like, a good gardener would be treasured by many and envied by others! would he be able to tend to every garden or only a specific one? Could he control the growth of the plants to make variations of it and if yes do temples make agreements and form pantheons to make more and more potent plants?

    • @VandarAlden
      @VandarAlden Před 6 měsíci +6

      @@thepowerofthemind6450 I wanted to get the general idea of the system as well as capitalize on the visual aspect of it. I felt that the implications for gardeners was a part that most people would figure out the basic idea especially since I'm pretty sure I mentioned grafting. However my intent is that with the exception of certain plants like the fire plants and others that have physical effects the care of many of the plants aren't going be very different from the care of real plants aside from the soil. Much like normal plants each will have its own care routines and needs. That being said a good gardener does become much more valuable because of the value of the crops. Also botanists and Plant breeders to create new strains with new abilities. However due to the fact that the plants are limited to the soil where the ancient died a lot of the sites are controlled by churches or the wealthy. Although over time the power does spread further out spread in part by microbes and worms and the like but for some reason the soil doesn't stay potent when moved away from the site altogether

    • @VandarAlden
      @VandarAlden Před 6 měsíci +1

      @@thepowerofthemind6450 synergy between different type of plants usually comes from grafting but might also come from storing plants from different areas and using them in tandem

  • @tigretora1
    @tigretora1 Před 8 měsíci +793

    No way! Sarah's credomancy was awesome! Think about how many will turn Machiavellian, while others will focus on defense through idealism. The conflict writes itself.

    • @mcpainty5698
      @mcpainty5698 Před 8 měsíci +149

      Thank you! I'm so glad someone else liked it! I had a lot of fun making it! As I was simplifying the concept for this contest I actually discovered that this system justifies the Big Bad "Mr. Bond" speeches villains always seem to give, which I think is hysterical. XD I wouldn't have discovered that without doing this contest and trying to condense the system down to it's basic parts so in the end I think I'm the true winner here hahaha xD

    • @RensStoryteller
      @RensStoryteller Před 7 měsíci +17

      Practicing witch here who's worldview on magic is very much like Credomancy in the sense of "it's deeply personal and each being can practice, though no two crafts are perfectly identical with rare exceptions." If one seeks to use the wide but slow power of the gods in small and fast ways, one must know themselves deeply and intimately, and one must know the gods they draw from or the concepts they seek to draw from for their desired outcome.

    • @RensStoryteller
      @RensStoryteller Před 7 měsíci +15

      I'm sorry, but as someone who actively practices magic as a witch, I can't help but love your creation as its a very "x concept taken to its logical extreme + story bs" form of my own craft. Belief and understanding are strictly key and to master both you need to be deeply and intimately knowledgeable in both yourself and the deities or concepts you wish to draw from.

    • @mcpainty5698
      @mcpainty5698 Před 7 měsíci +12

      @@RensStoryteller that's really cool! I had no idea there were real practices in the world that involved that sort of self discovery! Most of the religions and practices that I am aware of almost actively tell you the opposite-- to give up yourself and change who you are in order to follow this person or do specific things. There are exceptions of course, not every practice/religion is like that, but I had yet to find a practice that embraces who you truly are and wants you to explore it actively and confidently. So that's really cool that there actually is something out there like that! If I may ask out of curiosity, is what you practice part of a wider religion/practice or is this something you've developed yourself?

    • @eatingtheleaf4659
      @eatingtheleaf4659 Před 7 měsíci +7

      @@mcpainty5698 I absolutely love the idea of a villain giving an evil monologue to power up their magic

  • @ThisisGlorious
    @ThisisGlorious Před 7 měsíci +482

    The fact that the card magic system got so far is crazy to me

    • @ImaErick
      @ImaErick Před 7 měsíci +53

      LITERALLY

    • @thepowerofthemind6450
      @thepowerofthemind6450 Před 6 měsíci +118

      Yeah, but when he expanded on it the potential was unlocked

    • @saparapatepete
      @saparapatepete Před 6 měsíci +108

      he took a simple concept and took it as far as possible, gotta respect that creative implementation

    • @loveunconventionally6043
      @loveunconventionally6043 Před 6 měsíci +114

      I just kept thinking, “isn’t this yu-gi-oh?”

    • @saparapatepete
      @saparapatepete Před 6 měsíci

      @@loveunconventionally6043 lol, if they used the monsters only to play in turns, i guess it fits the bill.

  • @sladewilson9718
    @sladewilson9718 Před 7 měsíci +270

    Bruh Kelly’s conduit idea is goated. So many possibilities for conflict and buddy cop sort of relationship. Just an old dude who’s wise but he’s gotta get his power from moron who never shows up on time 😂

    • @josephplayspickleball
      @josephplayspickleball Před 2 měsíci +4

      Almost like shapers and shapecrafters in Five Kingdoms.

    • @courtneyharris1006
      @courtneyharris1006 Před 2 měsíci +7

      it'd be so cool to see a psychological thriller that's a crazy 2v2v2v2 cat n mouse game

    • @nynvib276
      @nynvib276 Před 2 měsíci +2

      I've never been mad at you Lennie...

    • @dlane.21
      @dlane.21 Před 2 měsíci +4

      You should check out soul eater, it's an anime with a similar power system based off weapons and meisters

    • @user-iv4fs2ch2u
      @user-iv4fs2ch2u Před 2 měsíci

      ​@@courtneyharris1006 love the pfp
      Maybe I should write a DOOM-inspired magic system lmao

  • @ShadowMor00
    @ShadowMor00 Před 8 měsíci +448

    For Alan's Mnemancy/Memory Magic, it would be really cool to see an element of the magic wherein the user must invoke a memory that directly correlates to what they're trying to accomplish; if they want to kill an opponent, they'll have to remember and relive the memory of them killing someone in the past, or of them watching a loved one die. It would be a great way to give character backstory without large info-dumps.

    • @Alterego-ne7oi
      @Alterego-ne7oi Před 7 měsíci

      what would you call this? it's interesting hmm...@@ViktorJHoel

    • @Raven_VII
      @Raven_VII Před 7 měsíci +21

      reminds me of the giver with the mc remembering a cold memory to lower his body temperature.

    • @joshuaadams3148
      @joshuaadams3148 Před 7 měsíci +18

      @@ViktorJHoelI’m robbing this😅 (I’m making a magic system in which power is related to knowledge and memories)

    • @ArantyrDarkhand
      @ArantyrDarkhand Před 7 měsíci +4

      I would do well at that system... ive a "perk" I dont feel a lot, deep per say, i live in stability(im very logical and kinda cold or so say my family), but when sh it trigger a emotional response... i create a perfect memory.
      Lol ive a memory has a baby... with my father playng with me(yes i was a baby), according to my mother... its impossible becouse we moved from that place, when i was 6 months. But we were ultra poor so theres no pictures from the time so it was impossible for me to know. And i told her how everything was and what my father did, the disposition of the furniture(by the way NOT CONVENTIONAL, again due to extreme poverty and very small house).
      SH IT thing its i loved only one person... and the best and worse moments, are there too. Dont to smell and touch.

    • @dustbowlboy
      @dustbowlboy Před měsícem +1

      ohh and the more experiences you have and remember the more power potential you have

  • @lucasfranke5161
    @lucasfranke5161 Před 8 měsíci +172

    I personally really liked the second one about wielders and conduits. There's a lot of potential for character conflicts

    • @lks_mobile
      @lks_mobile Před 7 měsíci +9

      I mentioned it in another comment already, but there's a book called Witchmark. It's the first in a trilogy iirc, they use that kind of magic system and I really enjoyed it. It has a lot of interesting intrigue and a social system based on the idea. You might want to check it out :)

    • @Candlemancer
      @Candlemancer Před 6 měsíci +1

      I'm definitely borrowing that concept, not for a whole magoc system but for a specific subculture within that system

  • @Putoaduh
    @Putoaduh Před 7 měsíci +402

    My favorite magic system (still in development) comes from a CZcamsr named MonsterGarden.
    Magic comes from technology borne of war. A special organ is implanted into people who become mages and it slowly begins to disfigure their bodies, becoming tall, gaunt, and inhuman.
    Healing magic uses a disc shaped focus to radiate slow, regenerative waves to those around them, but it can have the nasty side effect of giving the healing mage tumors all over their body as it constantly regenerates their skin.
    Destructive magic uses a pinpoint focus such as a gun barrel or a finger cap known as a thimble.
    Curses run rampant against those who fight magic users, where the "witch hunters" become far more disfigured than any mage.

    • @lks_mobile
      @lks_mobile Před 7 měsíci +13

      That sounds very cool, thanks for recommending it! :)

    • @samuelhunter4631
      @samuelhunter4631 Před 6 měsíci +55

      Nice to see someone mention Monster Garden. I found the page by accident, but damn their world building is so unique and bizarre it's fun to imagine

    • @darkness2086
      @darkness2086 Před 5 měsíci +7

      @@samuelhunter4631same I just saw their first video and enjoyed the whole idea

    • @monlenz
      @monlenz Před 5 měsíci +40

      appreciate the mention! If only i knew this was a competition happening, I'd gladly join haha. doubt id win though cuz there are such great ideas here.

    • @njieenowjonathan976
      @njieenowjonathan976 Před 5 měsíci +4

      no wayyy. i was just from that channel before clicking this video

  • @joshuastclairmusic
    @joshuastclairmusic Před 8 měsíci +601

    Been waiting for this!! The true magic system is the magic of the human imagination to devise such magic systems… Brilliant.

    • @Jed_Herne
      @Jed_Herne  Před 8 měsíci +45

      Agreed

    • @VandarAlden
      @VandarAlden Před 8 měsíci +58

      The true magic system is the friends we wrote along the way

    • @747puppyfat
      @747puppyfat Před 8 měsíci +15

      That… and magnets.

    • @cyberfalcon2872
      @cyberfalcon2872 Před 8 měsíci +4

      ​@@VandarAldenI was about to say this lmao

    • @hasanmuttaqin464
      @hasanmuttaqin464 Před 7 měsíci +1

      wait.... now... that's a cool magic system

  • @ZexZorNova
    @ZexZorNova Před 2 měsíci +27

    It's so devastating that your typical card magic/pokemon and just a straight-up mythology went further than memory magic. The colored tears magic and heart beat magic where indeed awesome.

    • @tancredtorns7092
      @tancredtorns7092 Před dnem

      the "typical card magic" is just really dang cool. theres a reason why people love every solid variation of it

  • @Donny-G
    @Donny-G Před 7 měsíci +163

    Alan's idea of MNEMANCY was awesome!
    The idea of memory fueled magic where the memory is erased after its used means that the characters will be actually sacrificing parts of themselves and their personalities to achieve their goals - I feel like that was a very interesting direction that he didn't get to touch on enough. The idea of hypothetical situations where someone blank slates their memories by doing some powerful spell is very interesting. Also the world would be full of adrenaline junkys trying to have powerful enough experiences to make good memories that can fuel future spells - like in this world there would be so many amusement parks and roller-coaster and exotic foods and experiences so that mages can stock up on good emotive memories to fuel their craft without risking forgetting their parents or other important memories... loads of compelling narrative options here that I feel the pitch didn't get a chance to fully articulate or he'd of won :)

  • @alanstolterfoht2763
    @alanstolterfoht2763 Před 8 měsíci +129

    Honestly... I'd nearly forgotten about the competition. I was grateful to make it in the video at all, nevermind top 8. This was fun. The winner deserved it, though. Looking forward to reading his book when it's done.

    • @Jed_Herne
      @Jed_Herne  Před 8 měsíci +10

      Great work, Alan!

    • @lks_mobile
      @lks_mobile Před 7 měsíci +23

      Yours was one of my favourites! :) I think Mnemancy is amazing to really make the personality and history of characters stand out and the stakes are great too. Also there's so many potential story ideas.

    • @omegaminoseer4539
      @omegaminoseer4539 Před 2 měsíci +8

      Alan, you were robbed, to be honest. I would have bet my firstborn child that you were going to win the competition. Your magic system was so interesting for discussion that I would pay money to read any work you have with it as a guiding principle.

    • @biosavat9475
      @biosavat9475 Před 2 měsíci

      ​@@omegaminoseer4539Can I get him ? My 3 month old labour force is really lacking and its taking a toll on production 😢

  • @viyusavery248
    @viyusavery248 Před 8 měsíci +194

    Ive been studying this video for about 6hrs now main points:
    @2:20 include interesting consequences
    @6:44 build magic with interesting narrative possibilities
    @20:29 think about the visual nature of your magic
    The last point to me is the hardest to achieve in all fiction, anime for example is saturated with martial arts visual presentation of magic
    It's ultra rare for a different visual presentation like for example Naruto that uses hand signs gestures to activate the magic

    • @tigretora1
      @tigretora1 Před 8 měsíci +20

      And also...
      limitations, tradeoffs
      a historical reason for the magic
      explore the impact on society/behaviors (subset of narrative possibilities)
      evolution of magic

    • @electricisnthereatthemomen6535
      @electricisnthereatthemomen6535 Před 7 měsíci +12

      @@tigretora1chainsaw man is the PERFECT example of all of this. it’s magic system of making contracts with devils is glorious

    • @arkana9684
      @arkana9684 Před 29 dny

      I made one magic system that is based on the ink and the drawing styles that I think would be interesting
      1. Consequences: Your blood is ink, so you have to use it wisely to not suffer hemorragy.
      2. Narrative possibilities: As is based in the artists, every character has a reason to have the powers they have
      3. Visual Nature: Unlike other magic systems that are martial arts visual presentation, this is art visual presentation

    • @enigmatic2878
      @enigmatic2878 Před 18 dny

      Actually, I'd argue that anime *doesn't* do visual representation of magic at all, let alone martial arts. Okay, I don't watch as much anime, but really if you look at the popular shounen stories, only a few get some sort of visual representation to activate magic. The rest mainly just aim their shots, open their palm, and pew!
      Really, so far, the only anime I've seen with significant physical ways of magic activation in anime are the hand signs in Naruto, creating the alchrmy circle thing in Fullmetal Alchemist, and (by technicality, not an anime) bending in Avatar: TLA and LOK. Avatar definitely struck as being one of the only stories I've seen having magic be activated through a very visual way through martial arts

  • @m.j.johnsonbooks7856
    @m.j.johnsonbooks7856 Před 8 měsíci +206

    This was so fun to follow. I was ooing, ahhing, cheering, and booing when you made a decision I disagreed with.
    At the end I couldn’t decide who I liked more between the memory magic, the heartbeats, and the 12 gods lineage magic. Glad I didn’t have to make that impossible choice! Such a brilliant project. Congrats to Ethan I can’t wait to read his book someday!

    • @ytrewqfdsacxz3181
      @ytrewqfdsacxz3181 Před 7 měsíci +5

      the 12 gods one kinda felt like a rip off of the magic system of fire emblem 3 houses with the gods in place of the elites

    • @drafezard7315
      @drafezard7315 Před 3 měsíci +6

      @@ytrewqfdsacxz3181 It's a pretty basic/tropey magic system in general. I don't know why it made it to the final 8 and I have no idea how the magic cards one made it past round 1...

  • @lileenleen
    @lileenleen Před 7 měsíci +54

    3:44 Witch Hat Atelier
    3:53 Nurarihyon no Mago, Chainsaw Man (demons get more powerful the more awesome and fear-inspiring they are)
    4:49 Valvrave (piloting a mecha costs memories)
    5:29 Card Captor Sakura
    7:45 Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint, Riordan books Series, Stand Still Stay Silent
    8:10 Soul Eater (soul wavelength resonance)
    9:40 Persona game series, Black Rock Shooter,

  • @anthonywritesfantasy
    @anthonywritesfantasy Před 8 měsíci +60

    Thanks for hosting this contest! Very happy I got to be a part of it.
    The girl possessed by the god of yesterdays and tomorrows being a DETECTIVE is such a cool idea... Like a little Sherlock, unstuck in time... Yes, yes...

  • @LukePasqualeCalarco
    @LukePasqualeCalarco Před 7 měsíci +49

    did anyone else think the cost of the memory magic would be giving up that memory in order to cast the spell?
    small spells wouldn't be a huge deal because you could just forget little things like what you had for breakfast.
    but larger/more powerful spells that require core memories could cause you to forget the birth of your child, your first kiss, your dad dying, ect ect.
    eventually you'd just be a husk with no core memories or identity, really interesting trade off!

  • @phoentrix2896
    @phoentrix2896 Před 8 měsíci +80

    Magic systems scare the bejeebus out of me, though I have 2 different worlds that have systems I need to work on and figure out. You all have not only inspired me, but also have given me the confidence to play with and develop the systems I have vague concepts of. Thank you all so very much. I wish you all the best in your endeavors.

    • @cindellednic
      @cindellednic Před 8 měsíci +3

      Find the magic system episodes of Brandon Sanderson's Writing Excuses podcast! Extremely good advice there.

  • @mehroo1288
    @mehroo1288 Před 7 měsíci +36

    mnemancy is definitely my favorite concept its reminded me of a recent read 'the embroidered book' that has a similar system of sacrificing love, memories and affection among other things (*body parts)

    • @Jed_Herne
      @Jed_Herne  Před 7 měsíci +5

      I've done a few podcast interviews with Kate Heartfield (the author of The Embroidered Book). She's awesome - has been a real mentor to me over the years!

  • @esFjord
    @esFjord Před 8 měsíci +104

    I'm so happy Veritachemy made it to the 3rd round + got a shout out! Congrats to the winner & to everyone who made the video. I hope I get to see many of these systems built out in the future! 😁

    • @esFjord
      @esFjord Před 8 měsíci +6

      Also, getting the points for originality made my year.

    • @anthonywritesfantasy
      @anthonywritesfantasy Před 8 měsíci +2

      Super interesting system!

    • @esFjord
      @esFjord Před 8 měsíci +3

      @@anthonywritesfantasy Thank you! It is definitely one my favorites I've worked on. :D Now that I got confirmation that it is at least decent I really need to finish this book now lol

    • @benedict6962
      @benedict6962 Před 7 měsíci +2

      I like it a lot. The addition of ancient creatures as cauldrons essentially puts a spin of unique personal or family magic, while maintaining a fixed structure across the world as a whole.

    • @adamnemo42
      @adamnemo42 Před 4 měsíci

      Gonna be honest I'm actually disappointed you didn't make it to the final round. You were one of my favorites here and I hope to read your book some day.

  • @sericsson1996
    @sericsson1996 Před 7 měsíci +27

    Jan with his Lacrymaturgy was definitely my top choice! I wanna read the book immediately that's such a cool concept and such a powerful scene I almost teared up already!

    • @saparapatepete
      @saparapatepete Před 6 měsíci +5

      i think it may work better on a visual media like comics or an animated series, but i also dig the potential it has.

  • @monstermoo4191
    @monstermoo4191 Před 6 měsíci +57

    I was pretty dismissive of Grayson and the Devil's Pastime at first (I was like, you didn't just invent the concept of making a deal with the devil) but the more I think about it, that magic system would have some really far reaching implications that make for a rich story, full of tension and intrigue.
    A world in which every singer, athlete, business owner, or even high school quarterback, might have actually made a deal with the devil to get there. And then every true crime story has the possibility that someone was just paying their contract as a motive... The sheer amount of paranoia, intrigue, and maybe even religious counter-fervor in a setting like that... could be really good.
    Arthmor's system, which I just refer to as trauma-mancy is also REALLY GOOD. I imagine a person who's terrified of dogs, being able to summon them to ravage their enemies. It makes a hypocrite out of anyone using the magic for combat purposes; that's really cool. A claustrophobe who can create pocket dimensions or opaque barriers... it sounds like a bad time for the characters BUT IN THE BEST WAY.

    • @EliasExists
      @EliasExists Před 8 dny

      Just name it Phobomancy, aka the Mancing of phobias

  • @mr_indie_fan
    @mr_indie_fan Před 8 měsíci +16

    Lacrymaturgy..... Is just, genius.

  • @benski119
    @benski119 Před 8 měsíci +41

    card based magic is Yu-gi-oh without Egyptian background and childish battling/tcg variances lol.
    I like Mnemancy!
    Soil of the Ancients sounds very cool too! Could have a lot of herbology/botany based stuff

    • @VandarAlden
      @VandarAlden Před 8 měsíci +1

      I was thinking about Yu-Gi-Oh as well as a game I think it was called lost kingdoms or something
      For the soil of the Ancients my brother thought it would be cool to have a plant based magic system and I had an idea about prophecy being a specific color because of the line in "We don't talk about Bruno" where it says your fate is sealed when your prophecy is read but transposed it to "red" so I started developing the prophecy fruit and the different ways a certain prophecy could be unexpected and then the other aspects of the plants magic system just came from thinking what would be other interesting effects the plants would have. And we thought about a lot of botanical concepts for how those could change the properties of the magic. Not a lot of that is set in stone yet though

    • @cindellednic
      @cindellednic Před 8 měsíci +3

      Yeah honestly no hate for the card based magic guy because he's quite young but the idea is so overplayed that it shouldn't have been advanced without anything more original incorporated.

  • @briansanders8122
    @briansanders8122 Před 8 měsíci +196

    Owen's Card-based system was my favorite. Card-based magic systems might be a classic for a reason. It's an easy way to add a large variety of spells to the system overall, while still limiting what the characters can do, whether by the cards having a cooldown or simply the number of cards a single character can have.

    • @salfontana5712
      @salfontana5712 Před 8 měsíci +2

      Owen's was indeed awesome!

    • @DB-pw9md
      @DB-pw9md Před 8 měsíci +2

      Yup, that was my favorite

    • @Aaa-vp6ug
      @Aaa-vp6ug Před 7 měsíci +6

      Maybe add variety through forged and counterfeit cards and card combinations.
      Plus cards that act as dummy versions of other cards

    • @NdrillSnake
      @NdrillSnake Před 7 měsíci +13

      His system is interesting, but reminded me too much of Cardcaptor Sakura...

    • @aliencommander632
      @aliencommander632 Před 7 měsíci +4

      Wizard 101 the Comic

  • @Caerulean
    @Caerulean Před 8 měsíci +65

    Aw man, I really hope my 2nd and 3rd pitches didn't completely fall apart, haha. I was a last-second entrant and didn't realize there were further instructions in the submission process so I just hoped for the best, but much kudos to you for making it through to the very last-second entries like mine! Very glad also to have gotten featured (Book of Scribes) and to have at least passed the first two rounds(?)! 🙌 Congrats to the winner and all the others as well~
    Lastly, thank you for doing this contest; it pushed my procrastinator self (😅) to spend time to finally flesh out the mechanics of how the Book of Scribes works, which had just been sitting in my head as a largely unexplored idea.

    • @ghostdreamer7272
      @ghostdreamer7272 Před 6 měsíci +1

      I really liked your idea @Caerulean ! I was wondering why it might not have gotten farther. Hope to hear more about it (or read about it in a story) sometime!

    • @Caerulean
      @Caerulean Před 6 měsíci +1

      @@ghostdreamer7272 (CZcams definitely keeps auto-removing my reply and I'm not sure which words trigger it. Here's another attempt.)
      Thank you!
      Since my other pitches didn't get shown, I got another opportunity to keep the details more secret 😅, so I'm not sure what I'm comfortable sharing. And my fantasy series is very early in its development so you would have to wait a long time. I can 🫴 my first two and a half chapters, though, or something. 📨 me.

    • @ghostdreamer7272
      @ghostdreamer7272 Před 6 měsíci

      @@Caerulean hey! I’d be happy to have a writing buddy. I’m just in some very early stages outlining of my own stuff

    • @ghostdreamer7272
      @ghostdreamer7272 Před 6 měsíci

      @@Caerulean oh also, what’s the best way to message you?

    • @Caerulean
      @Caerulean Před 6 měsíci

      @@ghostdreamer7272 The word triggers an auto-removal; e-📨 me. 🙂 It's on my channel page.

  • @ryanD4848
    @ryanD4848 Před 8 měsíci +14

    The way that you can listen to their pitch and then convey to us WHY it is good is so helpful for us that want to learn how to build a good magic system. Great video!

  • @GenLiu
    @GenLiu Před 8 měsíci +17

    The lacrymatrurgy was my personal favorite, not only because it's a cool and unique idea but also because it completely shapes the world created by the author by establishing an impactful visual.
    The only caveat to it, imo, is the extent of the power Jan is describing in his example (but that's just an example, so, it's not a big deal). The idea itself is interesting, but it kinda creates issues with the credibility of the story, considering that someone who's capable of stopping time for long enough to befriend that creature would have access to much better options (things as simple as just collecting blue tears over the long period of time available to her alone).
    Still, very interesting system combined with a very interesting looking world. He's got a solid foundation for an interesting book, I think.

  • @drifter2391
    @drifter2391 Před měsícem +3

    6:34 a reminder that a negative feedback loop is actually referring to a loop that oscillates between opposing states. In the example given, it would still be a positive feedback loop; feeding into the same direction. The loop would just have switched to a different direction.

  • @cameronsalas2091
    @cameronsalas2091 Před 8 měsíci +27

    Thank you so much for giving us this opportunity, Jed! Even if some of us were not featured, I know I can speak on their behalf in our appreciation for this whole idea! It definitely helped me understand my ideas more!

  • @znJakobnz
    @znJakobnz Před 7 měsíci +22

    The soil of ancients and the blood of the 12 gods were my favourite. I would definitely read those books! That memory one was also awesome.

    • @DragonRiderElf
      @DragonRiderElf Před měsícem

      Fr he’d give PJO a run for its money 100%

  • @RoSe_SnOw
    @RoSe_SnOw Před měsícem +2

    I like that Jakop starts the recording with a “hear me out” that was just funny to me at least a little bit

  • @blessedandbiwithahintofmagic
    @blessedandbiwithahintofmagic Před 8 měsíci +14

    This is sincerely one of the best sources of worldbuilding, power systems discussion, and generally fantasy elements not just on CZcams, but that I have found on the English internet (a freq commentor on TvTropes is another top tier world-building sage). I hope to find more like you ib my journeys, this, as always, is exceptional!

  • @summerjay_luke3534
    @summerjay_luke3534 Před 2 měsíci +5

    My magic system is an aura surrounding the users body that is based upon their personality and current mental state. For example angry, fire prideful, lightning with users powers changing as they grow, change, and experience tragedy or love. This applies to more than just basic emotions, with feelings such as fear, disgust, lust, love, and even hunger bringing a wide variety of different abilities to the table

  • @user-rq7jn9ce9i
    @user-rq7jn9ce9i Před 7 měsíci +7

    i wish we could hear more of kelly's magic system it sounded so great

  • @Luredreier
    @Luredreier Před měsícem +2

    3:30
    Makes more sense that it'll behave like energy, not being created or destroyed, just reused.
    12:26
    I can't believe that you'd prefer the card based one over one based on your beliefs and your soul.

  • @habarvaz3142
    @habarvaz3142 Před 2 měsíci +2

    my fave is the one based on memory, sacrifcing your memory for magic seems so cool and imagine the backstory of this and a villain who tests it's limits

  • @manuelfriend4060
    @manuelfriend4060 Před 8 měsíci +24

    Magic systems with good narrative possibilities are definitely the best. This video was really helpful. Though I was confident in my system, it has helped point out a few glaring holes. I kind of wish this competition becomes a recurring thing every year or bi yearly, I'd love to enter if there is a next time (or possibly other world building competition types?).

    • @manuelfriend4060
      @manuelfriend4060 Před 8 měsíci

      As a footnote, it's interesting to see so many magic systems that are based on contracts and familiars. Mine is also based on familiars lol. I think this is partly a shift in fantasy writing to magic systems that have a higher and clearly defined cost for the characters, as opposed to older magic systems which were typically just based on internal reservoirs which refilled over time. Such older systems had less opportunity for conflict and consequence. It also allows for balancing the power of magic and avoid the plot holes from OP systems we've seen in the past.

  • @KeithAShieldToy
    @KeithAShieldToy Před 8 měsíci +10

    I like the heartbeat and rhythms one! I had a similar magic system idea with vibrations and heart stats

  • @Abaddon174
    @Abaddon174 Před 8 měsíci +20

    I would very much like to see a video of all the Round 1 pitches and your reactions to them!

  • @theoneandonline
    @theoneandonline Před 8 měsíci +16

    Whaaaaaat? Credomancy sounded amazing! Also, I NEED to read the book about the 12 gods starting different bloodlines. That one and Ethan's were my favorites.

    • @IKMTIrr
      @IKMTIrr Před 7 měsíci +1

      For real the presentation was beyond image inducing

  • @Redbeardblondie
    @Redbeardblondie Před 8 měsíci +14

    Coming from more of a gameable mentality, it’s interesting seeing how your evaluation differs from mine. Even for the really lore-heavy options, I can see how some offer story beats which would pace better in chaptered prose than in a game setting, and vice versa.

  • @belowewrites
    @belowewrites Před 8 měsíci +17

    This was a lot of fun to participate in! Thanks for hosting :)

  • @Th3.Kin9
    @Th3.Kin9 Před měsícem +1

    Just realized the color one is such a good idea imagine writing about how time slows where a few seconds become minutes to hours to knowing them through fully and slowing down to realize Hey you will die and your loss will bring me through but also break me

  • @SockGoblin_
    @SockGoblin_ Před 2 měsíci +2

    Heavenly fragments seems so cool! The book that it will be featured in is called secrets of the silver clouds

  • @denizucuran7001
    @denizucuran7001 Před 8 měsíci +8

    Heartbeat magic... My favorite one, definetly. And his pitch was perfect!

  • @coderaven1107
    @coderaven1107 Před 7 měsíci +5

    I really liked the visuals that Erics Veritachemy @8:49 idea summoned in my head. It directly paints a picture of a gritty dark world with glowing magic elements and corrupted characters. Nice one! Also feels like a really nice structure for video games and powerups in that one.

  • @nhmcazenav6874
    @nhmcazenav6874 Před 8 měsíci +10

    What an amazing display of creativity. It was very inspiring and helped me realize that my magic system could use some work

  • @mcpainty5698
    @mcpainty5698 Před 8 měsíci +15

    This competition was hella fun to participate in! I threw my hat in the ring to see what would land and to just get in the practice of trying out new things and couldn't have been happier with the results. All of these ideas were amazing, and I tip my hat to Owen who beat me out (I was credomancy) and got 3rd place! It is a really fun idea and I hope everyone who participated continues on with their work!

  • @OJ-rd7rx
    @OJ-rd7rx Před 8 měsíci +58

    I didn't expect to even be featured in the video, given that it's not the most original idea ever, but somehow I got THIRD!?!?
    This was a fun contest, thank you Jed for hosting!

    • @Jed_Herne
      @Jed_Herne  Před 8 měsíci +3

      Nice stuff!

    • @mcpainty5698
      @mcpainty5698 Před 8 měsíci +1

      You had a great pitch and it was wonderful to hear more about your idea! Amazing work, Owen!!

    • @WaterCanoe
      @WaterCanoe Před 3 měsíci

      @@mcpainty5698 Yeah!

    • @devindaniels1634
      @devindaniels1634 Před 2 měsíci

      It may not have been a completely original idea, but you took it in a unique and original direction!

    • @DragonRiderElf
      @DragonRiderElf Před měsícem

      Honestly I despise all things anime and hearing Jed compare your idea to Pokémon really made me skeptical (mainly bc of my little brothers crazy obsession with Pokémon)… but I was EXTREMELY happy to see your idea go as far as it did!!! I loved everything about it! It was so intricate and had so much depth and backstory that I honestly wished it was a book so I could keep learning more! Congratulations and I am so happy for you!!

  • @monlenz
    @monlenz Před 5 měsíci +4

    there are so many interesting ideas here. very inspiring

    • @Jed_Herne
      @Jed_Herne  Před 5 měsíci +1

      Thanks dude! Was great fun to put this together. By the way - I love your channel. Keep up the great work!

  • @piewar3076
    @piewar3076 Před 8 měsíci +10

    It was so cool to see all these interesting ideas, and it even helped me to come up with a magic system of my own.

  • @whatdoiputhere9618
    @whatdoiputhere9618 Před měsícem +2

    I loved the black and white world where people cry different colors. The first idea that came to my mind using his magic system was like a dystopian world, where an evil organization can collect individuals and torture them into crying, therefore harvesting their tears and keeping them for their powers to use for their own evildoing. Great concept! Makes me want to start writing more original magic systems

  • @corndoge4264
    @corndoge4264 Před 8 měsíci +17

    I didnt get to submit my idea due to my anxiety but it was so fun seeing everyones great ideas

  • @logannichols5848
    @logannichols5848 Před 7 měsíci +4

    8:30 in and I want to use the plant one. He said using the specific plant creates the magic and heart beats is awesome. Reminds me of nuruto kind of.

  • @eddiebanks3583
    @eddiebanks3583 Před 8 měsíci +6

    One I’ve been mulling over is based on the draw system from ff8. Everything contains magic, creatures or the land or even constructs. Your average person can draw upon these natural abilities and either use it right away (cast) or store it for later use at a more appropriate time. There’s a few people who essentially can skip this “draw” the magic and use it right away. They would be based on the sorcereresses.

  • @TeddyCrafter84
    @TeddyCrafter84 Před 8 měsíci +12

    This was such a fun thing to watch & see all the different ideas for magic systems! I wish mine had been more prepared to have entered, but ho-hum, there's always next time XD

  • @leolightfellow
    @leolightfellow Před 8 měsíci +13

    I've been looking forward to this so much. :)
    They're all so interesting... I certainly don't envy the person with the difficult task of narrowing down all these great ideas to one, lol.

  • @DrWolves
    @DrWolves Před 8 měsíci +10

    This was really fun to watch. So cool to see so much wonderful creativity.

  • @williambeougher4944
    @williambeougher4944 Před 8 měsíci +27

    So many people are replicating video games and D&D.

    • @williambeougher4944
      @williambeougher4944 Před 8 měsíci +5

      Thanks

    • @ardidsonriente2223
      @ardidsonriente2223 Před 8 měsíci +8

      There are quite a few anime copies too. Super sad.

    • @williambeougher4944
      @williambeougher4944 Před 7 měsíci

      I don't watch anime so I would not know.@@ardidsonriente2223

    • @RKanth54
      @RKanth54 Před 7 měsíci +6

      @@ardidsonriente2223its quite natural when thats a lot of people’s inspiration. as long as they dont outright copy it and tweak it a bit, i dont see anything wrong with jt

    • @Cool-Vest_Leo
      @Cool-Vest_Leo Před 4 dny

      Good. A lot of ideas aren't fully explored by their creator, and thus could benefit from another shot in the limelight.

  • @chriswalker9828
    @chriswalker9828 Před 4 měsíci +3

    Honestly a lot of tremendously creative ideas here, I have to say the one I found most intriguing was Kelly's Magia Universalis. While it shares some similarity with other systems (like the weapon/meister dynamic in the anime "Soul Eater" for example) it was the one that spoke to me the most.

  • @fightingprawn8918
    @fightingprawn8918 Před 8 měsíci +5

    It was a joy to participate in this contest. I really got a lot of benefit from the timed pitch prompts. They helped me decide what were the important parts of my magic system and what could be let go of.

  • @Vexx263
    @Vexx263 Před 8 měsíci +33

    I wish I heard about this!! I could have entered mine, although my book is not even close to being done, I have a pretty good idea of how the magic works. Let me know what you think!
    Three sentence description: use the energy from another world to cast magic. You can only conjure, infuse, or transmute elements. No healing, barrier, or flight magic.
    Watered down version: there are two world coexisting with each other. Mages of either world can draw energy from the other to cast magic. This energy can be anything from the other world, plants animal, even people. So long as you send the time absorbing them, you can store them within your spirit to cast magic. The actual effects of magic aren't too impressive compared to other fantasy books. You can create, infuse, or transmute elements. That's it. This means that you cannot create velocity out of nowhere. You can't just create and throw a fireball. Sure you can conjure an explosion, but it won't go anywhere. You'd probably just blow yourself up. To "cast" a fireball you'd have to infuse an explosion into an arrow head and shoot someone. That's conjuration and infusion. Transmutation is where you change something onto something else. Say you where about to get slashed in the neck, transmute your skin into metal.
    More details: There are two separate worlds, each began as mirrors of the other. The beings of one world inhabit the other at the same time. The physical body remains in one world whilst the spirit remains in the other world. The spirits of one world are naturally invisible and incorporeal to the native beings of the other. Most creatures are also unaware that they even have a spirit. Despite that the only way to absorb energy from another world is through the spirit. The original body must become aware of their spirit and thus be able to guide material from one world into their spirit. Once they absorbed the material, they can use it to cast magic. It's like they are a passageway to conjure the material they consumed into a physical thing. If they absorbed a stick from the other world, they can create a certain amount of wood in their own world. Once the magic is used, it will leak back into its original world, restoring the balance. This means that all magical effects are temporary and all types of magic that can be used varies from where you absorb it from. So if a spirit absorbed a tree, a pile of wood and leaves would return to that spot after a while. Only, they wont come back in the same position as they once were. Now the act of absorbing material from another world is slow. Whist you are absorbing, your spirit will become visible to the natives of the other world. But they can't do anything to your spirit. Nothing except moving the physical body can stop them from absorbing material. The only people who can use their spirits to effect the other world are the [very original and cool name, I'll just use X as a place holder]. The X are the ones who can fully project their minds into their spirits and detach them from their physical bodies location. Doing so, however makes the spirit vulnerable to attacks. That, however, doesn't mean that it's easy to kill an X. Because they are conscious in the other world, they can absorb and release magic as if they where breathing. The tunnel between them and their power source is now none existent. Another benefit of the X is that they can see the status of anyone's spirit with their physical eyes. Whist active, they can see the location of spirits, x-ray vision, and if the spirits are storing any magic. They can also see what kind of magic is being stored.
    In order to become a mage, you must be able to sense and influence the other world. Anyone is capable in doing this, it's only a matter of belief in themselves and the supernatural (Kinda like the pixie thing in berserk). You must also be at one with yourself. You must truly know who you are, and accept all aspects of yourself. That way your spirit is open to accepting energy from another world.
    To become an X is to infuse your mind with your spirit which is quite dangerous to do. Your consciousness can easily get lost along the way. If i does get lost, you die. One you infuse your mind, tearing away from your original position is excruciatingly painful. Weak minded individuals could faint from the pain and be lost forever. The odds of becoming a mage is 1/1000. The odds of a mage becoming an X is 1/10000.
    Feeling of casting: When casting, you feel an intense hunger. Your spirit is emptied and wants to be filled. You naturally seek the consumption of the other world.
    My main character starts as an X, but not as a mage. How did that happen? You'll have to read my book and find out... once I'm finished in 2-5 years!

    • @lks_mobile
      @lks_mobile Před 7 měsíci

      I love your magic system, especially since it's so well restricted. You clearly put a lot of thought into it.

    • @Vexx263
      @Vexx263 Před 7 měsíci +2

      @@lks_mobile Thanks!
      Rant incoming: I created this system to match the type of world i wanted to simulate. I wanted to create a more gritty system that cannot bs its way out of a tough situation. Things like healing magic and out of nowhere special moves ruin the realistic feel i want to go for. Healing magic especially ticks me off, the bad guys super powerful attacks never feel like they have consequences when you can just pop a healing potion. If your arm gets a sever cut on it, it will at best leave a scar and at worse cripple the limb. Undefined power systems are also annoy me, like how am I supposed to know how strong a punch can get when the next guy always seems to punch harder? There should be a cap on how much damage you can take and deal, that way fights don't boil down to "who's ability/fist is better". I want everyone's abilities to have the same limitations so that they have to use their brains to win a fight.
      Other other details: I have thought about the system a bit more, and have a few things to add. The spirit form of an X can vary based on who they accept themselves to be. If an X where to believe themselves a monster, their spirit form would grow horns or fangs. If they believed themselves to be a righteous knight, their spirit could take the form of some plate armor. Since the main character starts as an X, he would be able to see the changes in his spiritual form. It's like a real-time view on his mental state. Givin that he isn't a mage, the change in form won't benefit him much, but I hope it'll be a subtle way for readers to gain a deeper level of insight on the main character. This could also be a cool plot point, what if on his home planet, MC comes across X from the other world. This X believes himself to be human, so he appears as such. Only when the X is riled up does his true form slip out.

    • @lks_mobile
      @lks_mobile Před 7 měsíci +1

      @@Vexx263 I totally understand what you mean with soft magic systems sometimes making things seem inconsequential and destroying the stakes of a story.
      Personally I'm using a relatively soft magic system for my current project because there's not a lot of magic in my world and it is supposed to be stupidly overpowered to the point of being very dangerous and barely controllable. Consider it my fantasy version of an atomic bomb... not really something to be used on a daily basis.
      I really like the plot idea you mentioned btw. It would definitely be an unexpected twist!

    • @Vexx263
      @Vexx263 Před 7 měsíci

      @@lks_mobile Thanks for reading my comments! And the idea that this uncommon magic has the potential power of an atomic bomb sounds like a cool set up to a magical fallout scenario. Imagine is suddenly the magic suddenly became common? How would society survive then?

    • @TryingtoTellYou
      @TryingtoTellYou Před 2 měsíci +1

      This reminds me of Bakugan lol. Bakugan's alien world being tied to the real world didn't really work that well because quite frankly, why would we care if some distant planet blew up?

  • @RYESTONE
    @RYESTONE Před 3 měsíci +2

    I wish people do more of these video. It's interesting to hear people's magic systems and mabye inspire others to do the same

  • @user-tu9so9zx4x
    @user-tu9so9zx4x Před 2 měsíci +2

    Wish I'd known about this; I've had a very in-depth magic system that I've been working on for years.
    Casters, known as Looms are gifted with the ability to see and interact with the threads which connect all things. These threads connect any two or more things with any kind of association, and the threads contain and represent that association. Looms are able to weave these threads, using their inherent properties to weave spells--or Tapestries--which have entirely unlimited possibilities. The caveats being that you can only create tapestries using associations that you can identify between things whose threads pass close enough to touch; casting using threads you do not understand fully have somewhat unpredictable outcomes, depending on how well they are understood; and these threads can be snapped if overused, which can forcibly and even catastrophically remove the association forever.
    That last bit can actually be taken advantage of by those who are crazy or desperate enough to do so, who are known as Vandals and are shunned as the "dark mages" of society. One could sever their own ties with gravity to gain flight, or maybe they'd sunder the bond between lovers, or remove all likeness from two objects. The drawback of this being that they have to weave many tapestries--or a few powerful ones--taking advantage of the properties of the thread in question. In the first example, a Vandal may be forced to bear the weight of a mountain on their back for a time, doing irreparable damage to themselves in return for their desire to soar. Or it's possible they spend a lifetime with a forceful pull on their shoulders only to live their final moments free from the Earth's grasp. Almost like an independent magic system living within the first.
    Much of the art of weaving is interpretive, as all good art should be, meaning that no two tapestries would ever be exactly the same, even when woven under identical circumstances, as even the act of weaving the original changes the Loom in ways that would alter the meaning within the next.
    There's a whole bunch more, and not to mention all the lore I've written for this world, but I won't bore anyone with the details.
    Edit: And my favorite part of this whole idea is that this system can be used is most any setting. Which means that the stories told within this realm can span millions of years, across seemingly foreign settings as well as entirely too familiar ones.

    • @ChozenIam-ok6wo
      @ChozenIam-ok6wo Před 2 měsíci

      So I didn't understand the tapestries like how people use this for the good? Like vandal are breaking the thread but the what are the good people doing?

    • @user-tu9so9zx4x
      @user-tu9so9zx4x Před 23 dny

      @@ChozenIam-ok6wo The way I'd imagined it, no one is necessarily using it for good or bad. Vandals may use their methods for good, and Looms may use their methods for evil; just that one of those methods is condemned by the masses, while the other is revered, respectfully.

  • @AiSard
    @AiSard Před 7 měsíci +7

    The Lay of Things was my favourite. Really captivating in just how political struggle overlaps with the magic system.
    The scene he portrayed for instance. I could imagine that the empire's "test" is at once a way to solve a real problem such as a drought. But by intertwining it with a prophecy that is part of the empire's religion and thus politics and thus magic, the mere act of going along with it puts the cult leader's magic as subservient to the empire's. That by weaving his story in to the tapestry of the empire's, he makes a political misstep and strengthens the empire instead. That the empire is an old hand at hostile syncretic takeovers. Where they've been maintaining prophecies and rituals for centuries that have been carefully crafted such that if you step in to a role within certain prophecies, not only are you strengthening the empire's cult, but you also take on the trappings and weaknesses of that role. The fated invincible warrior of the old stories? If you can convince the populace that the new upstart with the defensive magics is as such, suddenly the magic around their ankle becomes surprisingly brittle. etc. It feels rife for a story about political subterfuge, done through both underhanded political movements but also overt magics to force certain political realities in to play.

  • @katamattyon
    @katamattyon Před 8 měsíci +13

    Alongside writing books, I think your experience writing a game might be of use for Owen and his card-based system. He could adapt his system using 'RPGmaker', 'MonMae' or 'Yal's Monster Collector Engine'. Obviously making a game is difficult, but I think making a JRPG might be a possible goal because there's a lot of people online who have tried their hand at it already, and there's a growing scene of games inspired by Pokémon style mechanics.

  • @anniebot_45-73
    @anniebot_45-73 Před měsícem +1

    one i came up with, inspired by brandon sanderson's mistborn novels, was designed to be "opposite" to feruchemy. feruchemy is part allomancy and part hemalurgy. it gains specific "traits" from each, such as the power source of allomancy is your own soul (internal), but the fuel to access it is metal you consume (external), whereas the power source of hemalurgy is a fragment of a soul bound to a metal spike (external), and the fuel to access it is via peircing the body with the spike (internal). feruchemy's power source is via storing physical/mental traits in metal (internal because it's an extension of your soul), and to access it, it must be in contact with your body (external).
    in mine, biomancy, the source of the power comes from another person's body, through a conduit called a Gift. while the source is holding their own Gift, they can project their power (one of the 16 feruchemical attributes) to a group of people close by, who are then linked for the duration of the channel. each one draws part of that attribute from the source, which is great for a skirmish, but against a single, much more powerful, enemy, you'll want to invest your gift into one person.
    if someone is holding your gift, they can tap into it and draw as much strength as they like up to a certain threshold, based on its size, however a more skilled source could overflow the gift and cut the flow to the normal limit, causing shock in both the sudden burst, and then sudden drop. this is great if your husband is away at war and you have the gift of healing. not so great if the dictator has your gift.

  • @viyusavery248
    @viyusavery248 Před 8 měsíci +9

    One missed opportunity for this video is telling us in your opinion why the ones that didn't make it wasn't so appealing
    Why something doesnt work is far more practical to learn from

    • @VandarAlden
      @VandarAlden Před 8 měsíci +2

      Yes and no. That could be an interesting second video but from a couple of people that posted their ideas that didn't make the video some of them looked really good and it wasn't that they did something wrong they just didn't stand out quite as much to Jed. So perhaps some of the fringe cases could use some critique that would help it is probably best to look at your work and decide what it might need more of. The things I noticed him mentioning were visual components, conflict, world integration, cost/limitations to name a few. I think if you find a way to strengthen one of those attributes you will do well, the biggest other thing i can think of that he might be able to add is presentation mistakes where people might have not given enough information or presented it in an unclear way. But also it would let us see the rest of the cool ideas so th as to the big selling point for me!

    • @viyusavery248
      @viyusavery248 Před 8 měsíci

      @@VandarAlden thanks noticed those too, I'm trying to get some time stamps for those key points

  • @PhoenixCrown
    @PhoenixCrown Před 6 měsíci +3

    Thanks to everyone who put the work into this contest. I am also inspired by the incredible amount of creativity!

  • @iwyt3995
    @iwyt3995 Před 8 měsíci +3

    Entries that remind me the most of _Mage: The Ascension_ -
    - _Credomancy_
    - Veritachemy
    - *_The Lay of Things_*
    - Star-Weaving

  • @Booksforthewin
    @Booksforthewin Před 7 měsíci +4

    Here’s a pitch:
    Long ago, the world was torn between a war of two empires. In a last-ditch effort, the Mejali Empire attempted to summon the Prince of Demons, and nearly succeeded. But they failed. The Prince released an outburst of power that scarred the world to escape, but it came with a unique side affect: The Marks. They allow manipulation of their element, and you get one at birth. But, you can gain more than that one; either from a Faustian Bargain or as a side affect of a great release of power.

  • @Bobbyhiddn
    @Bobbyhiddn Před 8 měsíci +4

    Hate that I missed this, and I hope you do another! This was such a fun way to test my system against others and refine it.

  • @narkopraxis602
    @narkopraxis602 Před 8 měsíci +35

    Thanks for this contest! It was a lot of fun to create my submission and helped me solidify many of my ideas for my story. Really enjoyed seeing everyone elses ideas.
    Any chance I could get some feedback on my magic system even though it wasn't featured?
    I felt like I did at least as well as many of those featured and I'd love to know what parts of my submission didn't appeal to you or could have been improved?

    • @cameronsalas2091
      @cameronsalas2091 Před 8 měsíci +5

      He most likely views our submissions in full, but for the sake of the video and not making it two hours long, he was probably forced to cut a lot of submissions, but if you think that your magic system was great and well thought out then I would personally love to hear about it!!

    • @bennysundance175
      @bennysundance175 Před 8 měsíci +3

      I hope he will make another video, featuring the others. maybe without contest?

    • @narkopraxis602
      @narkopraxis602 Před 8 měsíci +2

      @@bennysundance175 I would love that. Even if it was only ten at a time spanning multiple videos in order to reach everyone.

    • @anonymousanonymous850
      @anonymousanonymous850 Před 7 měsíci +2

      He also has limited time and energy, its common for this type of event to trim/cut the less competitive ones

  • @joshuaparker7095
    @joshuaparker7095 Před 8 měsíci +33

    Thanks for doing all this Jed! I was curious if you'd be willing to put out the unedited 6 hour version of this video?

    • @beastwriter3915
      @beastwriter3915 Před 8 měsíci +7

      Yes! My brother even asked if we could have a compilation of all the pitches hehe

    • @belowewrites
      @belowewrites Před 8 měsíci +2

      Yes! Would honestly be v excited to watch :)

    • @VandarAlden
      @VandarAlden Před 8 měsíci +1

      Or even just a gallery of the short descriptions somewhere

    • @Caerulean
      @Caerulean Před 8 měsíci

      Yeah, I would like to see at least the entirety of the 3rd and 4th rounds. :D

    • @fightingprawn8918
      @fightingprawn8918 Před 8 měsíci

      I would watch it

  • @lennysmileyface
    @lennysmileyface Před 8 měsíci +8

    Some cool ideas I might incorporate into my own system. My system is like a programming language so it comes with pretty much everything from hacking to AI. People develop devices that are analogous to computer components and they have limits to the amount of processing they can do as well as efficiency and heat production. Brain based memory is twice as fast, higher capacity and efficient but misuse could result in loss of personal memory or even brain damage.

  • @demonicbabydragon011
    @demonicbabydragon011 Před měsícem +1

    This video is so helpful, just watching it and listening to people pitch their ideas helped me break down and consolidate my own magic system. I wound up seeing alot of the flaws I had and cutting out the excess, making it more cohesive. Now I have 4 magic system aspects that work together more fluidly.

  • @salfontana5712
    @salfontana5712 Před 8 měsíci +4

    This was awesome! I would love to see this again. I wouldn't mind if it was an annual contest, even!

  • @vitriolicAmaranth
    @vitriolicAmaranth Před měsícem +2

    Owen's card-sealing magic is literally just Card Captor Sakura, with no hyperbole or disingenuity. It's cool but not only unoriginal, it's been done 1:1.

  • @Capt_Sunny
    @Capt_Sunny Před měsícem +1

    Devil fruits from One Piece are simply amazing. I love the idea of unique powers that only one person can have at a time. And how anyone can obtain their own unique power (not given from birth). Also the idea that power comes at a cost (not being able to swim).

  • @overknox6558
    @overknox6558 Před 8 měsíci +4

    That tears story was AMAZING, WILL buy the book, please publish it!!

  • @Charadan
    @Charadan Před 8 měsíci +10

    Many great entries! My favorite was Soil of the Ancients!
    Kinda bummed mine wasn't featured. Did you do like a first sifting before going ahead? I was already wondering how you'd manage to review over 400 entries...

  • @borjadetorres7747
    @borjadetorres7747 Před 2 měsíci +2

    What a cool video!! Didn’t know you were doing this. I hope you make a second edition.

  • @SickegalAlien
    @SickegalAlien Před měsícem +2

    Bro came in pitching his Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic 🤣
    Mad respect! 🃏🐦‍🔥

  • @ArcangelParagon
    @ArcangelParagon Před 5 měsíci +3

    Mnemancy was the one that sparked my imagination the most, especially if, as someone suggested, you burn those memories in order to fuel your magic. I think of a Western-inspired spellslinging protagonist with no name who has given up most of his memories save the ones that compel him to travel around and do good. Adds an air of mystery as to who this protagonist is and what those few memories are that he chooses to hold onto. And the more he holds on to them, the more powerful they become, which can add another element of, is there a situation in the story that would require such power being used, and would that situation be worth his most precious memory?

  • @l_ziz
    @l_ziz Před 8 měsíci +3

    yay
    I made it to round 3.
    :D
    Thx Jed for the contest. Keep the good stuff coming.

  • @benb1994
    @benb1994 Před 8 měsíci +2

    What a fun video!! Congrats to Ethan, I can’t wait to learn more!

  • @gabrielriosorelogio5224
    @gabrielriosorelogio5224 Před 6 měsíci +2

    Honestly, the monster card sealing just sounds like Yu-Gi-Oh, I would have chosen the other on the 2dn round. Apart from that (only my opinion), it was a great video and loved how imaginative they are

  • @timthetiger1665
    @timthetiger1665 Před 8 měsíci +6

    this is fantastic! loving your videos.

  • @W7RSON
    @W7RSON Před 7 měsíci +3

    My top three definitely were the pantheon with the 12 gods, the heartbeat and rhythms one, and the tears/color one.

  • @DarkPegasus87
    @DarkPegasus87 Před 7 měsíci +2

    I have quite a few magic systems, but one literally draws its power from bonds and emotions. The MC can see and tap into the emotions of others to use benevolent bonds to uplift and malevolent bonds to hinder. His enemies learn to use the power, too, and it becomes a battle of who can twist their own emotions best.

  • @kwaitefuni9152
    @kwaitefuni9152 Před 2 měsíci +2

    When I saw system in the title I thought you were going to talk about "systems" like from wuxia, xianxia, xuanhuan, and other chinese novels.

  • @m.j.johnsonbooks7856
    @m.j.johnsonbooks7856 Před 8 měsíci +11

    47 minute video and I’m already in bed . Guess sleep can wait 🤷‍♂️

  • @briannas.6741
    @briannas.6741 Před 8 měsíci +9

    What a privilege it was to participate in your contest! I'm honored and excited to have made it so far. Starweaving has been a tricky concept for me to piece together little by little. I completely agree with you Jed that my scene had a Deus Ex Machina in it 😅The application of the magic is what I'm still stuck on and I should have put more thought into it. Still, thank you for the opportunity!

    • @Jed_Herne
      @Jed_Herne  Před 8 měsíci +1

      Well done on your entry! All the best with your writing

    • @lks_mobile
      @lks_mobile Před 7 měsíci +1

      I really liked the idea of your magic system. :) This is what I wrote down in my unnecessarily long summary comment:
      As Jed also said, I love the idea of magic not being intended for mortals. That's such a good setup for an interesting plot and very much in line with human nature imo. I also like the "intrinsically good, BUT" part. It makes the idea feel unique since in most stories magic basically just serves as a tool that's entirely dependant on the one who uses it, or it is intrinsically bad. This feels different and interesting. The stakes are also very cool but I'm not really too sold on the star weavers themselves, since I don't really like "chosen ones" that are somehow elevated over the rest. The way the magic is used reminds me of Luz from the owl house and I think that's a pretty cool idea :))
      Do with that what you will haha, I'd be excited to read your story!

    • @AliasPhex
      @AliasPhex Před 5 dny

      Yours was my favorite, Brianna! I posted an earlier comment regarding yours but can’t find it. I didn’t think I’d find you here!
      Curious if yours is biblically based because it seems strongly rooted in in-depth Babylonian magi and witchcraft and God’s covenant. (Also “seraph” + “nefarious” = “sepharious”? If so, DUDE, great hidden word layering.) I absolutely adore your magic system and would love to see it-either in a book or comic. I love the visualization and the interplay. I wish I hadn’t lost my comment but regardless: you are amazing. Please keep writing.
      I have a God-character, too, and one of the HARDEST things to do is not Deux ex-Machina, among a variety of issues. I don’t mind reading them and I understand how much thought goes into that, especially if a God-character is central.
      You’re doing a great job. I’m following you in case you ever post something! Remember me and hit me up if you get published! ❤ You’ve got this, girl!

  • @svenlauke1190
    @svenlauke1190 Před 2 měsíci +1

    I was about to disagree with the decision of first place. but then I realized Jed is so much better at seeing the possibilities the systems open up. even with a 90sec pitch most people won't realize the full depths of the systems that the writer has in his mind.
    thanks for making me realize this

  • @marcobering3945
    @marcobering3945 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Eric just described Worm's Cauldron formulas.