7 WAYS TO OUTSMART A NARCISSIST IN CONVERSATION: Disarm the Narcissist with These Tips
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 6. 08. 2024
- Are you looking to outsmart the narcissist in your life? These tips will help you disarm the narcissist and render them powerless over your emotional wellbeing. But it all starts with limited contact (or gray rock). When you realize what the narcissist is really after, it's easy to outsmart them. Whether they're really smart or not!
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#narcissist #npd
*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist
They talk in circles. Twist your words. Make you doubt yourself.
đ€Żđ€Żđ€Żđ€Żđ mine wont even talk to me most of the time unless I give in and give him âone more chance â
I feel stuck and donât want to hurt his feelings idk why i care so much for his feelings
wlara he doesnât have any feelings because he doesnât have empathy... but you do. So find someone who does empathize like you đ
Omg yes.
Yesssss!!!!
no matter what, it is always your fault. they never said that, you must have imagined that. yes you did promise to do that thing, you might be having memory issues because they know what happened and are not crazy.
they'll pull the silent treatment until you submit and say you are in the wrong and it is your fault etc etc etc
The best way to get back at your narcissist is to go have a happy and productive life without them.
Very true đâ€
Very true! But this can enrage them once youâve cut off their supply! We need to stay strong đȘđŒđŠ
Punchy and concise! Thank you.
How do you differentiate between 'narc' and a run-of-the-mill obnoxious person?
@@goodyeoman4534 does it matter what we call them?
1. Keep communication simple
2. Understand they lack emotional empathy
3. Distance yourself
4. Don't give them what they want
5. Don't show emotion, don't care about their opinions
6. Make them defend themselves
7. Stay unemotional and don't react to their triggers
I agree with all these, except No.6. If you try to make an NPD person defend themselves, you will simply come in for a huge blast of narcissistic rage against YOU. It will have nothing whatsoever to do with the original subject matter. They will not defend themselves because the NPD mind is incapable of accepting that they, the narcissist, could ever, ever, EVER do anything wrong.
They lie! They tell the truth but to make you feel less like yourself they lie to bring back demons, bad memories. Don't give in, remember there is a heaven and a he'll and bad people that lie go to hell! Just know this, you will be in heaven!
@@mehitabel1290 I've dealt with rage from a narcissist against me. At that point I was set and strong enough to just calmly respond. It was embarrassing to them
Thank you so much for this list!!!đ€đ€
@@GigeeRobin đ
"It's unfortunate you feel that way," is better than saying "I'm sorry you feel that way." Never apologize to a narcissist. Validation is not required.
Thank you, yes, that's much better! If they say "unfortunate?!!! What do you mean?!!!!!!" You can say something like "It's unfortunate for you, to go around feeling so critical of others because it drives people away from you."
@@DevorahTafus thank you! you have been so helpful to everyone!
Love this
@@DevorahTafus czcams.com/video/Y24m8BPIWwY/video.html
Yes! I like this a lot. Someone else online suggested beginning with I'm sorry and I didn't like it. This is a response that feels right for me, thank you!
Number one thing to do: less talking and more walking.
Nice
Hard to do when the court gives her full custody
You nailed it.
@@Epiz76 you need to study how to handle a narcissistic personality disorder when co sharing custody of children.
Facts
âA narcissist is wired to not hear youâ
It's like they have selective hearing
Oh they hear you, but what they are thinking is f#$k you
Just wait till they get old then dementia sets in. But they've always conveniently forgotten so you're now even more confused... Same with the rages just more often and more intense. I guess the switch is kinda stuck.
âWhen a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but you stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth just like you did.â - Jill Blakeway
Going through this. It's obvious but I needed to see it put into words.
@@DCboi51 yes, God bless you
So much of the knowledge & informtion we come by, just hits the nail on the head & hits home
But until we see it in black & white, oftentimes we're mde2feel like it's all in our im^gin^tion
That how we feel's untrue or we're much to sensitive
So seeing experiences from others whom've stepped in simil^r shoes honestly helps us to see&confirm, it's not our fault
God bless you Sincerely âšâïžđ
Thank you for that comment, it helps clarify things.
@@johnkelly7511 You're most welcome, John
Really hope & pray life's now being sincerely good to you
Praying you're far from any unkind treat
ment, now, in more recent times âšâïžđ
This is happening to me on social media. Itâs unbelievable. I am honestly so shocked. Itâs been quiet for 3 weeks but thereâs background work going on. Conversations with people. đ€ź
No Contact with the narcissist = Healing for the victim.
Never reason with a fool.
They will cut u back to their level and beat u with experience!đ
Or wrestle with a pig
@@goodyeoman4534 that's called: animal abuse....
@@annekerotterdam7499 In your village it's called 'foreplay'.
No. But many NPDs are very far from being fools.
You can't reason with a narcissist. They don't care. No contact period. .get your power back!
Tim Hardin
There are many different types of narcissists of different levels of severity. What they all have in common is their solipsistic view of the world. The one I was dealing with was a covert do-gooder fake that got very emotional for the smallest of reasons, or no reason. In fact it was clear to me that this Nâs âfeelingsâ trumped all facts completely. Had zero insight. Lots of N rage and gaslighting and projection and so on. A cool calculating logical N is more headed towards psychopathy IMO.
Tim Hardin
But is this self diagnosis - or a mental health professional diagnosed your condition?
@@pippipster6767 and does it matter?
Winstone Schwarzkopf
Does what matter ?
It's actually crazy how they can twist anything & everything..!
I donât respond at all. Stay strong. Iâm almost free. God is working.
Dang gurl. I need the power like you.
No money to go! Determined to heal during this time.
All power to you!
My journey of leaving on started 2 days ago.
Omg it's hard đ„
Me too
@@hurricanekatrina9382 mines too, these videos have helped me tremendously. Feeling better all ready.
I outsmarted my narcissistic by threatening to make a CZcams video of their cyber-bullying behaviour. And they actually called pretending to be a police officer. Now they are charged with personating one. Facing a 5 year sentence. I'm still going to make the video.
Lol
Oh, sh*t.
@@m1lky948 Whatâs that?
đđđ
Revenge is ice cream
The key to outsmarting them is to move in silence. When I left my exgirlfriend who happened to be a top of the line narcissist I completely stopped entertaining her bullshit. I didnât go anywhere with her anymore. I would wait until she left the house to eat, talk on the phone to friends or family, I cut her off financially, I completely shut her down & it drove her nuts. Needless to say temper tantrums got worst but by that time I was mentally gone so they didnât bother me one bit. Once I got my ducks in a row she came home to a empty house. That was 15 years ago & until every time she sees me she wants to fight. And I mean literally fist fight međ€ŠđŸââïž. They hate losing control and theyâre VERY big on image.
Detach and tune them out. I think of them as the souless undead and try to leave the asap.
I am an empath. My mother is a narcissist as are 2 of my ex boyfriends. Why do nice people attract such emotionally bankrupt people?
Unfortunately, people with narcissistic parents are very likely to attract narcissists in adult relationships đ But there are other reasons the empath and narcissist connect so often. I may do a video on that soon â€đ
@@CommonEgo Thank you for your hard work on this channel. Yes, I would really like to see that. I am 43 and just now aware of how unhealthy these relationships are.
First, heal your childhood wounds of codependency and you will stop attracting narcissists. They are predators and see your vulnerable (weak or nonexistent personal boundaries). Remember, forgiving them is like permission to abuse you in a relationship. You can forgive your mom and ex-boyfriends from afar, to move on with your life, but do not emotionally reconciliate with them. You will attract healthy people into your life, once you have broken the trauma bonds. Moreover, both the narcissist and the vulnerable empath are codependents. Except the narcissist is a pathological taker and the empath is a pathological giver. Cheers to healing!
In a narcissistic relationship, an empath cares only about a narcissist and a narcissist cares only about himself. So it's a relationship where only one person is satisfied but two are happy with it.
Honey I wanted to know the same thing. Are they torment Ed in their souls are they afflicted? I'm going to pray for them
I feel the important thing in talking with a narcissist is not to win the conversation, but to end the conversation. I try to make every response a dead end and these are some very good tips.
Yes it's better to end the conversation. But how do you end it when they won't stop talking and degrading you even when you are not saying a word. They can talk for three hours at a stretchđąđą
@@amblessed5734 EXACTLYYY
@@amblessed5734 I have learned, after a looooong time, to just distance myself physically at that moment!
If they will not converse "normally" then don't provide them any attention (personal time).
The first time I did that, just stood up and left the room, she just didn't know what to do ... I myself was also in "shock"
@@amblessed5734 move out/leave(for good)
So glad I figured out that narcs are ignorant and a waste of time and energy period
Don't say "Sorry you feel that way." It may give them some sort of validation as it seems your apologizing. "It's unfortunate you feel that way." They're feeling unfortunate because they are unfortunate people! That's a valid sentiment for them!
Are we sorry? Only for the life we have wasted...that they will never "comprehend."
When we set boundaries they HATE IT WITH A PASSION its suddenly like, I'm not being told WHAT TO DO!!!
It's a great feeling when you realize you're free of it đâ€
Then comes the smears, gas-lighting, and triangulation.
What they said!YOUR just wasting your time.
I think Itâs better we understand that Life isnât a bed of roses and it only takes a smart and determined mind to know what he or she is getting into. Thereâs a popular saying that: âdonât trust too much because that too much might hurt you so muchâ. A Narcissist shouldnât be trusted. I discovered my husband of 13 years cheating on me through the help of Cyberhackingsage who helped cloned his cellphone and i was able to read all his messages and uncover his Infidelity without having to touch his phone. All i did was share my husbandâs number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to his social media accounts. I read all recent and deleted chats On his WhatsApp, Snapchat, and emails with a remote link on my phone. Iâm here in L.A and able to read my husbandâs text even while he was away in Australia cheating on me. I found out through his chats that my husband has been secretly diverting our hard earned savings to his old school mistress for upkeeps. Thanks to Cyberhackingsage, now i am going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him.. You can contact this Sage hacker Via Gmail ( cyberhackingsage@gmail ) Or Text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp +15713758467 and donât forget to thank me later.
alcudiababe1 Exactly. When guys are dating a woman they are just getting to know, watch out if she suddenly lays down conditions like, "I'll meet you there, don't walk me to my car, I'll buy my own coffee". Actions louder than words. You make a date for a particular place and suddenly she is changing the date. She has another place in mind or your choice never gets a shot. Narc at work!
Best non-revange revange= no contact. This is the only thing that gets to a narc: being ignored
john miller facts
Narc free since September of 2018 divorced finalized in November of 2019. I self educated myself in this behavior am happy đ #selfbelief #selflove
@@ashtondillion7714 Yay way to save face! Self love is key for keeping from being victimized.Good job! Remember: youre worth it and really only need yourself in order yo be happy,because we are the only ones who can fill any void n our hearts, nobody can save us but ourselves,and we certainly cannot save the narc.
But what if they ignore you to begin with? They act in ways that show blatant disrespect and then ignore you whenever you try to talk to them about it. Me ignoring kinda feels like Iâm letting them win
@@afraidsari no,not at all,because a narcissist wants a reaction from you weather positiven or negative and showing them your pain omly gives them narcissistic fuel. When you dont agnowledge their existence it tares them apart eventually once ghey realise their silent treatment doesnt phase you.
In my experience, itâs unwise to respond emotionally to narcissists because by allowing them to see you cry over one thing, or get angry and defensive over another, allows them to see your weaknesses which they will reuse against you,over and over again.
Narcissists are observant and strategic.
To them, life is like a game of poker or chess and youâre their pawn.
The more you defend, argue, question, debate, EVEN converse nicely, you unknowingly show them your weaknesses, insecurities, convictions and strengths... and what you MUST understand and remember (especially in that moment), is that they WILL use EVERYTHING theyâve learned about you AGAINST YOU.
Very well put
But when they know your strength or points of power they can't use it against you right??
@@peacejoy3629 they would gaslight you to the point you start questioning yourself and your reality.
Avoid as much as possible. If you can't leave because they are a co-worker, just keep contact as minimal and neutral as possible.
That's a perfect description.
The best way to handle a narcissist is to walk away. Had a colleague like that and they suck the energy away, while trying to screw you over. And they'll never admit being wrong anyways.
Just walk away.
My problem is a little different and I am trying to find out what to do. My ex husband was a covert narcissist and trying to divorce him was awful. But I have drawn the line on what I will accept from people now....here is my problem. My boyfriend is very good friends with a covert narcissist...on top of that she has her masters in psychology! I immediately didn't like her...and she didn't like me. I realized immediately she had a problem....she is just like my ex husband. She has acted out very badly around me when I won't play her game. My boyfriend has been wonderful at trying to limit our contact as to being around her alot...he has seen how she treats me. Ive never told him she is a narcissist. I simply ignore her when I have to be around her....which means she immediately wants to know if I act like this with anyone else...is it her...lol...yep its her!!!
I can break them mentally...But why?
They are not something to keep...
Not worth it...it is better to walk away...
Just walk away. Let them be abusive to the empty space, in front of them. It makes them look silly.
That applies to any obnoxious person. Not just 'narcissists'.
It's hard when they are the father of your children I've been dealing with him for over 2 yrs already. Filed a restraining order but yet he has visitation with the kids. He continues to harass and manipulate. Turned some of my friends against me. I feel like he his taking over my life I have become an emotional eater through all this. It's so stressful.
@@goodyeoman4534 No, it doesn't. Being obnoxious isn't necessarily abusive.
@@melilyte THEY ARE ENERGY AND SPIRITUAL VAMPIRES - THEY NEVER STOP
@Amanda Bulmer Iâve done that with my abusers and they are pretty much destroying themselves!
Learn NOT to interact with them in a personal way. I've accepted that they do NOT value my personhood, therefore, I do NOT value their opinions or presence. Their company is NOT edifying, but rather energy draining. They have taught me to be grateful, for the genuine GEMS (loving people) in my life and to build my character (self-control). Glory to God/Jesus for His wisdom and love! Stay strong survivors!
It does help you appreciate the good people among us! â€đ
Bmore Mom thank you for your amazing words
Bmore Mom yes. Give thanks to Christ for opening your eyes lest you surrender your soul to these cold hearted vampires.
Thank you Lawd !!!!
Bmore Mom thank u sooo much, ive also have prayed and god has taught me how to deal with it and give me the patience needed.
If I seek revenge, I'm becoming what I dislike in the narcissist.đ
True. They are their own downfall. Seen it. The lies, games, manipulation, power issues stay with them and eats away inside. Their health takes a toll. Nobody want to help them. Prayers to you.
No contact is the revenge. When a narcissist realize they can no longer control you with lies and manipulation they pretend to be nice to get you back only to control, abuse and manipulate you again. Yes they change they become worse. Don't waste time on revenge.
I took my revenge. I text his girlfriend and sent her a video of him walking naked in my house. I copied and pasted his romantic texts to me and sent them to her. I told her heâs playing the both of us. He came to my house and threatened me if I text her again he will have the police at my door. And I told him I have a restraining order on my table.
All the experts say run! Donât try to outsmart them
Sometimes running isnât an option unfortunately
The dumb thing is I have to watch this at 12 years old because my dad is a narcissist and I have to deal with going to his house every other weekend he is childish. Legit I am a kid and smarter than him
Hey it's so hard when it's a close family member, I know. Over the next couple of years you should be able to spend less and less time with him. God Bless and good luck sweetie.
Bro, I feel you. My dad is like that too. My advice is too be self aware and not take any habits from him. I kinda did but I realized that I did and I wanna change. Hope you figure it out though! Be strong đȘđŒ
Unfortunate but if you learn the rules u can make things less difficult for you 2. Good luck
You sound to be an old soul. Take care honey.
Hang in there and when itâs time to be free walk away like a dealer in Vagas, clap your hands and walk away clean.
"I'm sorry you feel that way"....What my narc would say every time I told him he hurt me due to lying, bullying, etc. Never sorry he did it, just sorry I was calling him on it....
My husband just says always " I'm not here to listen to this" and walks away, or he uses religion when in fact I understand and practice our faith more than he. Early years I listened to him but now I am the one to walk away because he is like a broken record.
After several failed relationships and seemingly attracting nothing but "crazy" people. I kept asking my self why me? why does this keep happening to me? Then I started thinking. Well yes there are crazy people out there, but what am I doing wrong? After lots of self reflection, and listening to videos such as this. Turns out I have my own, attachment, co-dependencies, and other issues. These issues, combined with a good heart, and no boundaries set for my self, creates a perfect scenario for a narcissist to thrive. Unfortunately it is a cruel world out there. Until each and everyone of us takes a moment to self reflect and make a change, these cycles of abuse will continue. And worse, passed down generations. We can't do anything about the narcissists, the Aholes, crazies, etc. But we CAN do everything to self reflect and change our own patterns and behavior for the better. A better self, a better world, a better future. Good thoughts, good words, good deeds. It all starts within.
I'm in the same boat as you. I have wonderful friends, but attract the crazies in my romantic life. I've decided to remove myself from anything personal until I can figure out what I'm doing to cause this.
same. as much as I have been hurt by them, my experiences with them provided a whole host of learning experiences I could use to better myself.
Yeah, narcissist attraction is a real thing. They can sniff out a good mark with impeccable accuracy, and if you have the traits you described they will find you, and they will latch on.
Yeah..what you said đ
Having been raised by a narc dad, I can say this is all great advice with one "however": When you refuse to take the bait when the narc is trying to create toxic drama, it rarely just difuses the situation. Rather, you will escalate it and the narc will "invent" whatever they need to in order to keep it in a state where they have control. Requires a lot of emotional intelligence to deal. Best course is usually physical distance.
nailed it
Very true. Which just makes it more upsetting, they pull things out of the blue just to have something to throw at you. So hard not to get upset. And that is the point.
Yes! My dad would follow me around the house TRYING to get me to react. I was a mature child and he absolutely hated it/me.
Omg. This is so correct. I have a narcissistic mother and this is 100% accurate. I have learned to immediately or very quickly find a reason to leave the area to end the interaction
So true
Just set goals, long and short term. Go hiking, camping and kayaking. Take mates, enjoy life. I had 15 yrs with one, man she love bombed me, I felt like a MAN. Then the discard, slow and gradual. Withheld sex, affection, communication and employed gaslighting. Lost who I was, despair pushed me into my old habits of propping up my happiness with money spending. She used that to discard me fully. I had trouble breaking away because I loved her so badly, and craved sex. Now I am setting goals, going to semi retire off grid in Tasmania in 10 yrs. Travel, kayak the coast and take my kids camping.
Wow. Great plan! I like where your head is at.
@@valerieparker2242 thank you đ. I'm loving life, and choose to be happy everyday. đ
I prefer the âNarcing the narcâ method.
They gaslight you, gaslight them right back.
They become hypercritical, become hypercritical right back.
They complain that youâre going out with your military buddies that you havenât been out with in months? Go out with said friends again the next week...even if you have to fake going out with them and just go to a coffee shop for several hours, they wonât know the difference.
They criticize you for wearing outfits that are too sexy, make them even sexier or skimpier,
Donât feel bad about being a jerk to a narcissist, they are not good people. It wonât take long and theyâll be gone. Narcs can dish it out by the truckload but they canât stand being on the receiving end.
Obviously normal relationships donât require you to act like this, but these arenât healthy relationships weâre talking about.
I agree, they can dish it out but cant take it when its returned!
Ah yeah here's the thing that's a lot of energy going out the door for what to continue a relationship with someone you should dump and run from? Dude no sex is worth that.
@@darrellowings2343 itâs not always easy for some people to leave.
@@darrellowings2343 also, it requires no more energy than people typically expend trying to reason with a narc. Obviously leaving the situation is the ideal solution.
@@alexblaze8878 I know. Many situations and circumstances. This is why I'm haunted by the question of misdiagnosing someone who just badly needs to mature but it's a tough spot. Not our job to mature our mates. We can possibly make some wise moves that will give them a chance to surprise us.
My current strategy. Ignore messages for the most part, shrug icon as answer where possible, use words like each letter cost precious money.
Vidyut Gore, you are too precious đčđ·đ·đșđ·đč to be with a narc đ!
"all good or all bad", I agree. My narcissist would tell me how great I was when I was doing what they wanted, or doing what benefited them. If I had my own opinion or desire, they would literally become enraged! As if I was some sort of slave to them and I had stepped out of line!
If I disagree with my partner in any way shape or form he threatens to move out. He only got super narcissistic after his 16yo son moved in with us and now if I dont coddle his son and his gf i feel like Im going to lose my relationship and future Ive worked my ass off for to have. My boyfrienx was fine before his son moved in with us now we argue all the time. He lets his son and his gf walk all over me, clean for them, do no house chores. We pay him 300 a week to live with us so he can buy an apartment when he moves out. But he does nothing to earn this money. He did nothing to earn the car we bought for him. My childbood and his childhood are so vastly different its disgusting to watch. I just cant handle it under my own roof anymore. I now finally figured out my boyfriend i love so much is a narcissist and Im going to have to take it up the ass until the kids move out. Which they probably never will because hes paying them to be here and Im their maid why would they move out? He reckons they will but they wont. We run a very successful business together and Id have no money if I moved out so its a struggle to see where we go from here. His parents resent their son for what hes doing to me and my mom resents him now too. Its mind boggling he just cant see what hes doing to me is abusive.
"When the horse is dead, dismount"
Best tip ever on how to deal with a Narcissist...
Disconnect, walk away, turn around, do not turn back at all cost and run for your life...
Sure, it becomes difficult when children are involved but not impossible...
âĄđŁ
sounds like someone riding a horse to it's doom would be the essence of what a hardcore malignant narc would be...i mean seriously, what is wrong with people these days...rodeo is same brutality to such creatures, you people would do well to do a better diet, i suspect all the blood and other parasite food favs often turn people into uncaring unthinking unsentient creatures, and seeing as we share this planet, what benefits one can benefit all...so shaping up means evolving past such bloodthirsty degrading concepts, you have been told.
@@alal792 Whatever Karen.
Thatâs my problem . Kids involved and she is now starting to use them as part of her armoury!! She is just evil and I canât leave!!
@@jameseeeerussell2791
Never try to outwit a sociopath...
Remain calm, collected and moreover intelligent AT ALL TIMES...
Be the best AT ALL TIMES...
Not to help her and certainly not to outsmart her but this will help you a great deal not to fall into her games...
Always remember that you are just a piece of meat to her AND NOTHING ELSE... I she really is a Socopath that is !!!
We have a child together...
Been there, done that !!!
You'll always be wrong and whatever you say it do will never have any bearings on her so... BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE...
No tit for tat... avoid arguments or you'll loose
Disconnect
You canât win with a narcissist. And I like how she pointed you donât have to be smart to be a narcissist because they donât use brain power but rather emotions and emotions are complex. If you have even the slightest emotions or empathy then you canât win. Only a person who is a narcissist themselves can win with another narcissist. And beware: narcissist often act like they have empathy like theyâll go out of their way to win you back but itâs not true. It can seem true but itâs not true emotions.
nobody has empathy its the psychology pseudobabble equivalent of gender or emotional incest and my favourite emotional intelligence
narcs are low on the food chain...It's easy to beat them up..they are all the same...
I've destroyed mine.. She voluntarily left the company..
To be honest I did play her a bit...I'm a sociopath...but not all the time..Usually, i act empathic...
Yes, I know it's horrible...But growing up it was only defense from outside and family...
Im a good, honest guy most of the time... People know me...
But, try to manipulate me - will take u down at all means necessary...
I am better than her in many ways in this game..narcs can't understand that..
OMG! I have totally been thinking about that first point. My narcissist believed that he was so wise and I think he assumed he was intelligent. He couldn't see what a hypocrite he was or how his line of thinking didn't make any sense.
Sounds like my narc the truth is my IQ is so much higher than he is my IQ test revealed I have 134 IQ so how did I manage to be so stupid to get into this hahaha
Good tips! not caring or engaging is best. I've been dealing with a narcissist for awhile, always felt he was caring and on my side, recently overheard him bashing me, bringing up all my flaws from when I was a child, has strong hate for me secretly, I felt so crushed and hurt but I'm glad I heard it because now I know we have no relationship or friendship, I just ignore him and just act cordial. I won't fall for the bait because I know how he really feels about me. He still acts real nice when he sees me which I'm disgusted by as it is acting.
I stopped engaging with my narcissist boyfriend and less than a week later he discarded me đ I'm ok I was warned that had a high risk of this happening as soon as you don't feed their control anymore.
Alice C,hope you are not with a narc đ cause you are too precious!đčđčđ·đ·đ„đčđ·
Good for you.
You. Did a good thing. Iâm sorry this happened to you but you are a role model for others
Same for me
'If that's how you feel, that's how you feel." and "your opinion of me is none of my business" are two comebacks narcs absolutely hate.
Thank you... I didn't realize my partner was narcissistic until recently... I've gotten to the point where I'm a shell of my former self. I'm depressed, I can barely leave my house and I lost my joy for everything. I've been in some horrible situations in my life, but I still had my will to go on. Now, I feel like I'm just a waist of a human and I have no purpose. At this point, I am just trying to find a way to protect my heart and my mental health. Thank you for the advise, because I get caught in the gaslighting trap all the time.
run, run, run, hide....
If that doesnât work - push into traffic.
The best response I have ever used to defuse someone who is trying to start an argument with you is
"Maybe you're right" or "You might be right about that".
Three/six simple words that will drive them crazy.
Keep repeating it over and over, with each comment they try to bait you with, no matter how outrageous it is.
"Maybe you're right", even If you know they are completely wrong.
Nothing more, just "Maybe you're right" or "you might be right about that" over and over again, until they give up.
It is neither a victory for them, or a defeat for you.
The trick, is to say it like you really believe it, not sarcastically.
It is very disarming to them when, you seem to be agreeing with them out loud, while silently maintaining that they might be wrong.
xmrtuvgs People who are kicked around and told they are wrong all the time will be very thankful you told them they might be right. It just depends on the person youâre talking to.
đ€Łđ đ€Łđ đ€Ł
You might be right đ
@@NutsNBerries lol
You have discovered a pearl of wisdom. After using agreement with an "enemy" so much they run out of knives to throw and can't fight when you agree so much. You might even get them to scream and yell at you for agreeing with you them; Personal experience:)
I wouldn't even say " I'm sorry you feel that way." I would rather say " too bad you feel that way."
Iâm an empath and for some reason I attract narcissistic ppl and sometimes I feel like ppl donât care how I feel and they only care about themselves or they only communicate when itâs convenient for them I found this helpful
You're not any particular category of person. You're unique just like everyone else. These are just made-up terms.
Tierney Caulfield, you are too precious đč đčđčđčđ„đ„đ„đ„to be with a narc đ!
I just lost my sister last week to a narcissist! She was such a beautiful and loving person who had everything going for her. I left my narcissist last year. These people are so very evil! If you are here and you know you are in a relationship with a narcissist,run! Get out while you still can! Get a restraining order,etc! Thank you so much for your videos and bringing this disorder to light so that we may learn who they are,their tactics,etc. And be able to get out and heal! Bless you!
My sister has lived with a Narcissist for 22 years until she dot so depressed and Covid just open up an exit for for her she is now resting in peace
You may not be able to outsmart a narcissist, but what you can do, however, is far more powerful, and amazing for that matter, in that you turn the situation into an opportunity to grow stronger and smarter, more courageous and real, cultivating a more authentic connection to life in and around you, thus turning fear and pain you experience into assets.
I think Itâs better we understand that Life isnât a bed of roses and it only takes a smart and determined mind to know what he or she is getting into. Thereâs a popular saying that: âdonât trust too much because that too much might hurt you so muchâ. A Narcissist shouldnât be trusted. I discovered my husband of 13 years cheating on me through the help of Cyberhackingsage who helped cloned his cellphone and i was able to read all his messages and uncover his Infidelity without having to touch his phone. All i did was share my husbandâs number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to his social media accounts. I read all recent and deleted chats On his WhatsApp, Snapchat, and emails with a remote link on my phone. Iâm here in L.A and able to read my husbandâs text even while he was away in Australia cheating on me. I found out through his chats that my husband has been secretly diverting our hard earned savings to his old school mistress for upkeeps. Thanks to Cyberhackingsage, now i am going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him.. You can contact this Sage hacker Via Gmail ( cyberhackingsage@gmail ) Or Text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp +15713758467 and donât forget to thank me later.
Stacey Hickel I like your idea
âĄđđŸâĄ
You are absolutely right! Pain can either weaken you or make you stronger.. choose you! Get stronger.. life goes on and surely something good will happen! Someone who can appreciate you and they are out there.. but some women are so nice, super understanding, they feel sorry and so they attract people who will take advantage and they act misunderstood and loving! Well, you are into a big surprise! Not a good one! After they reel you in, they will not remove the hook! Being super sure of oneself, walking tall, yet being humble but smart, will not give this type of person to much of an opportunity to put the right bait! Instead when the reel you in, the bait has been eating by you therefore there is only an empty hook! Don't let them fish you!
You choose your fish! And as smart women we can be, we can find the right bait for a beautiful species of fish. :)
That's alot of wasted energy just to get the same result every time. Best thing to do is ignore them and move on. Great videos... Ty
If you can get away with ignoring them, I agree đâ€
Okay, I'm just learning about this. Why do they make me feel like it's me not them? They got me questioning my entire life...
I'm learning too. It sucks that this REALLY EXIST
It's called "crazy-making" and they use it so they can rationalize ANYTHING. Trying to understand them and why they do or say the things they do or say is like doing mental gymnastics. They are not functioning from a place of truth, facts or honesty. Once you understand this, you can start to catch yourself before going down that rabbit hole of trying to figure them out time and time again. Sometimes you'll still get caught, as it's a reflex. I still get caught up in it. But then I have to remind myself that she's not dealing in facts and logic. Whenever they start with you, think of the phrase "It's not you, it's me" but flip it around to "It's not me- it's YOU." Because it really IS them.
Because they are projecting their NPD on you!
Exactly i thought i was the problem
My ex told me that his only gf before me was crazy & tried to kill him with a knife..Guess how we ended? He would lie about stuff like not smoking WHILE smoking. It's called gaslighting.
I live with one and EVERYTHING you said on here is true, and it works! And it definitely gets them upset when they no longer have power over you , I canât stress enough ALWAYS KEEP YOUR CALM, then you will ALWAYS TAKE THIER POWER AWAY and you should see their face ,, THIS IS A GREAT VIDEO !!
You are so true they come out so. Charmiln disguiseg in deskies being untruthfull you cant trust them one bit
She nailed it when she said, "Own it and the Narcissists no longer as the power over you". They are looking for you to FIT their INFERIOR view of you so if you own it, there goes the ammunition. Of course, you can make sure it does by saying: I have to wash my clothes now. LOL! There's always something you could be doing instead of letting them steal your precious time.
it is so hard to explain the insidious abuse to others that see only the "nice guy".
I be like "a'ite then I holla at you later"..click
@@cali6950 I've quit trying. Then people want to give you a lot of unsolicited advice that you should let things go yada yada because they make sure that nobody else really sees what they're like. And unless you have bruises, nobody is going to do anything about the abuse. Just waiting till mine hits me.
The all-good or all-bad makes so much sense now! Growing up with a narcissistic parent, one minute I'd be a failure and infuriating, the next theyd literally be cheering me on and telling people how proud they were of me. It's really validating to learn that this is an aspect of narcissism!
My narcissistic ex gf used, cheated, manipulated, lied and controlled me. It was hard to let go bc I lived with her and her family for 3 years. She constantly told me Iâm no good for you and people like that will never change. As much as you try they will continue to make you feel like youâre not enough. But you are enough and itâs best to remove yourself without any revenge. At the end of the day their absence brought you peace.
I love what you said about ' only you would know what they're saying'.. The mother of my son (we're separated), is a master of creating a super- rational, intelligent persona. everything she says - to an outsider, would sound so perfect, but it's like she'd be saying that whilst giving me a look or a wink - communicating something very different. we recently had an argument or should i say, she was ice cold rational though sometimes jovial in text, as my heartrate soared with frustration. It was about me seeing my son. she would not respond for a day, saying i might see him tomorrow, (so I couldn't make any plans), then she'd say the next day - he doesn't want to come out today, just chilling. I'd be left in no-mans land, no personal life and no family life, and tired out from the interaction. She'd then make out I was being unreasonable and that I should relax and check myself.
She has a piece of my heart with my son and she knows it. Then she says " it's not like im trying to keep your son away from you". To anyone else that sounds reasonable, but she is actually putting that idea in my head, and communicating that in fact, that is what she can and is doing. It's just how she says and does things with absolutely no awareness or care about others feelings. And actually wanting to cause hurt for private sadistic pleasure. That's what gets me, it's not just about having no empathy, she actually does things to torment. Hopefully i can find a way of navigating the next 8 years until my beautiful son is 16.
I have been going through this for almost 5 years and I have lost myself. He has so much control and I feel like I'm barely holding on anymore. Everything is always my fault, I'm wrong, I need to change..the mental abuse is killing me!
Itâs hard during the quarantine too. hang on...youâll escape
How are you doing? I have my bf who always make me feel bad about myself. I really hate how it feel
Save yourself. You deserve better.
"Not a fair match" with a Narcissist to an Empath. ! Very true, and very good advice. !
@@tff8514 YES, it's really difficult not to get into that mind-twisting thought "What if I am the narc?" and to start to behave and "think" like them because you've been influenced. It's a diffuclt fight to get your senses back to truth about who you are.
@@ingridwrites this is how I genuinely feel. I know deep down inside I attract narcissist because im good hearted always helping everybody $ people pleasing and know that I say no they attack me like im the bad guy. Ive learned to spot manipulators.
I had an abusive childhood, emotionally and physically. My mother was the abuser and she was very good at convincing people that my father and I were wrong and getting people to join in her attacking. She was the second type that is concerned with her looks and rates peopleâs importance in her life on how much money they have. I learned to ignore her at an early age and not show my emotions as my emotions were ridiculed, but unfortunately this led to physical abuse. I internalised what she said and tried not to show how much it bothered me, she had a habit of telling me that I am lying or to shut up. My a-ha moment was when someone came to me and told me that they see how my mother treated me and that they respect me for not reacting and being able to walk away, I was speechless as I think I actually believed that I was wrong and that my opinion was not asked for. I cut ties shortly afterwards, I was tired of owing her for ruining her life.
I had heard the word narcissist before, ironically she liked calling people narcissistic, but a random video on my CZcams feed revealed to me that she has a personality disorder and that I was not alone in being treated like this by my mother. I have a long road of healing in front of me, I know that, but knowing that I was not as bad as I thought is a revelation. She still keeps trying to get me back through my brothers, but I know I canât go back to that. I pray that people who have to go through this have their A-ha moment and realise that they can stand up straight without having to fight for our place in the sun.
I don't know you but I love you, and I am sending you a big loving hug đ
I'm wondering if you're a long lost sister. You've described my mother perfectly. I'm sure she was a malignant covert narcissist
Did you end up moving out? I am working on it right now
@@shenequakimbro5146 I just one day had enough and she was threatening to report me to the police again, for no reason, so the next morning I asked my boss to come and fetch me and packed my suitcase and left. She did report me to the police, for stealing her car, and when the police came to my office to arrest me I took them to her work (she was a nanny at a private home, so not as embarrassing as being pulled out of a meeting with my biggest clients and having to talk to the police in front of an office full of people) and showed them where the supposedly stolen car is as well as the emails and money transfers where she agreed to sell the car to me twice and where I sent her the money for the car twice. I had to start again with nothing, I was fortunate for the help I got. Still working through a lot of insecurities and depression, but now I recognize them for what they are and where they come from.
I had to go no contact, I wouldnât have been able to just stone her out because I still have the doubts that she planted and she would have just drawn me back in.
You are fortunate to see the person for what they are and thatâs a step. Itâs scary, but I promise you that you will get to a point where you look back and give a sigh of relief. They will still try to draw you back (years later she is still using her golden boy to try and get to me, and I had no problem telling him where to get off as well), but be strong and be selfish! This is your time!
At this moment the hardest part for me is knowing how many of my relationships she poisoned and ruined, especially my relationship with my dad, and to see how she broke him, especially seeing that there is very little I can do after he had a stroke. The self doubt she planted is still there, I am still fighting the voices of my past, but it gets easier.
I promise you there will be people to help you and you will feel guilty for wanting to accept their help, but take it, you will need it. And you will go through a stage of absolute mistrust and you will feel like everything in your life is negative, but take it one step at a time, once you learn to trust your gut it will get easier. Learn to trust yourself first, tell yourself you can do it!
I have to keep myself with my brother who is a narcissist, and he's always second guessing anything I say as if what I said has a double meaning when I just mean what I say. "So are you implying that I'm doing this in purpose?, and what about when you did x!" It's beyond frustrating because he has to have the upper hand by making you feel miserable on anything you do. But this will certainly help me.
For years I've struggled with my mom and never knew why. Then realized she may be a narcissist and it started making sense. My sister and I have always struggled in our relationship and finally put it together that we had no problems with eachother, we were just told we did. After stopping communication with my mom (as horrible as it sounds) I've been happier, my marraige has been happier and my relationship with my sister has been better. I just wish the rest of our family understood.
G G,You look stunning
I always say, "You're entitled to feel that that way, I'm ok with that".
Thank you! So many people who give advice just tell you to get away or it is basically your fault if you can't and you get hurt more. Some of us have to back out slowly!!! I got my monster out of house 3 years ago and would rather never see him again. I wouldn't care if he disappeared. I keep hearing that if you don't get totally away you still have feelings for them. Wrong! I am in sixties, live in poverty but have home I paid for. He wants it. I have to be careful. Planning and patience.
What is life be like if no narcissist existed on earth. If everyone is an empath I just can imagine how peaceful life would be .
"Flying monkeys".. u nailed it my friendđđ
Whether you go left or right, forwards or backwards, it doesn't matter people, for a narcissist you never do it right or in a satisfying way. For certainly when you end a romantic relationship. Even if you are the victim, the narcissist thinks the opposite. I haven't seen my covert narcissist ex partner so many time anymore although we still have some sort of working relationship. But when I saw her in very short moments last year I not only felt her hate but also saw it in her face. They behave as such immature persons afterwards. I sometimes feel sad for her that she is who she is and that is not her authentic being and that her young children are also victims. Probably for their whole life.
It is very sad. I agree đâ€
You can never rest or laugh or have a real talk with them. The will never take accountability unless they are in a corner and need to get out of a bind.
I'm shaking. I'm drained. I'm confused. I'm hurt.
Thank you for for video. Everything feels so dark and unjust- this gave me light.
eequalsmcdonald,hope you are not with a narc đ cause you are too precious đčđčđ·đčđčđ·!
I find that an attempt to set some ground rules for the conversation often helps.
Ie âIâm happy to address what you think are my negative or hurtful behaviours as long as we can address yours tooâ
These sorts of rules will often cause a narcissist to instantly want to back out of a conversation - donât let them do it.
More than anything, anger and frustration are your enemy in dealing with narcissists. They will take any opportunity they can to paint you as âerraticâ or not thinking straight.
Rules, structure and balance are the key, and never forget that nobody is more important than anybody else in a conversation of equals.
YAS! The tip about lack of whole objectivity was a Big learning for me. I wasted so much time and energy trying to make them feel better, haha. I didnât know then what I know now. They have a skewed sensitivity chip that is only self activated.
They really only see black or white and are Incapable of seeing the bigger picture.
Their lenses are skewed, their filter is off kilter, permanently.
When they are mad, they are mad. They see black until they donât. There is nothing you can say and nothing you can do. Itâs fixed. There is no fawning to feel better. Big co dependant lesson to pull back and disengage.
The best response to their insult is âSo?â And âI donât care.â
In my experience with several narcissists in our extended family, I've found that one of the most effective (and subtle) ways to leave them frustrated and feeling defeated in a group-setting, is to openly ignore them by interrupting them in mid-sentence and turn your attention to another person in the group, and ask that person a casual question like, "How's your sister in Seattle doing these days, Kathy?". This immediately makes the narcissist feel your bored with what they're talking about, and you don't find them interesting. This is a huge ego-crusher to them because they're convinced that they are the only interesting person in the whole group. A narcissist hates it when they see that they don't matter to you because, to them, they are the only one who matters.
But how is that gonna make you better than the narcissist? Ignoring the person mid sentence? You are just stooping to their level. Unless they say something hurtful or toxic, this is just a cheap tactic
@@biaramirez904 The self-important one in the family (sister-in-law) never fails to be denegrating, and disparaging, in her otherwise polite conversation. While I never respond in kind, by ignoring her, I simply convey a message that her words matter nothing to me.
@@biaramirez904 "Better than...?" Really? The mindset that someone is "better than'" anyone else is exactly the primary point that you're missing here. No person is "better than" another person. And, my purpose in my response to her is to make that clear. Have I made that clear to you?
Hilarious..love it
@@biaramirez904 fumny tho đ
They are projecting everything they feel inside in anyway possible because they don't know how to take up any accountability and responsibility to themselves... they are stuck as a child inside... how to outsmart them? do nothing... return everything they are projecting towards you... set boundaries....expose them.... then, accept...accept...accept within that you are dealing an adult child...
Exactly children....
You are spot on. Unfortunately my narcissist is my son. I had to go no contact about 2 mths. ago. He is evil in the things he says, but I feel so sorry that he is this way, because he's hurting himself the most. He's lost two wives, and two grown up kids, all his friends and relations including his brothers. I really wish there was a cure. Because despite his shocking behaviour , I still love him and am so sorry that he is this way.
He can't be happy, because a happy person would not treat people the way he does.So I fear for his future. But I am 66 yrs old and enough is enough as far as I'm concerned. Apparently I'm to blame for everything that's wrong in his life.
@@hilaryjones3227 gaslight much???
@@edwinbetancourt3958 What is gaslighting, is it baiting you? Because no he didn't do that. He would tell other people lies about me, or if I made an innocent and innocuous remark he would totally over-react and insult,and name call for a very long time. One time he sent me insulting texts every day for two weeks. I cried every day, and didn't sleep at night until one of my other sons told him to leave me alone. I am not that wimp who lacks self-esteem now.
Narcs love long distance relationship s...cause they can have multiple manipulation s going on....than they see who gives more and is easy to manipulate before they dis guard or triangulate
Oh so true ! Saw that!
coughONISIONcough
Thatâs facts she got me
Yes I agree that narcaisst love long distance relationships because it's easier for them to cheat and lie about everything and they think you don't know what is going on but it's do obvious because for one they lie and cheat with as many as they want to. Right away I could feel like they were acting different and getting caught in lies and Know that they are cheating on you. It's just something I think everyone knows from childhood or teenage years. Plus they always tell on themselves but don't realize it because they talk all the time and I just let them speak because that way I could get more information out of them. This just made it so much easier to slowly lose your feelings for them and it hurts but you can't forget that we were chosen for a reason because they like us and we have what they will never be able to feel any positive emotions and number one is that they never cared about you or even love you. It was just words nothing else but words and they don't know how to show emaphty or compassion for anybody. Just remember it has nothing to do with you at all because this is all on them and when you finally realize you are with a narcissist, then leave them without saying anything to them and just leave them and don't look back. Your recovery will be much easier and faster than people who stay with them not knowing who they really were. All I can say is we have been picked out for a purpose of there's and you are a very good person and show love for others and you have emaphty and compassionate person that cares about everyone and just wants everyone to be happy and healthy and that's why we were chosen because we are the best people to be around
Too true.
Hi I'm the youngest of 3 so called older sisters. 2 of them have been complete narcissists since I could remember from around when I was 9 now I'm 44. I realized how pathetic they were so it stopped bothering me. Now they trying to hurt me through my daughter 11yr old. Now I know how truly sick these people are, but I'm stuck again because they trying to bring my daughter's confidence down. đ€
I need to walk around listening to this one video all day! Over and over again! I need to listen to this while I'm even sleeping so it'll get into my subconscious. Thank you so much!
Fantastic Iâm in court divorcing a true malignant narcissist with history of this only he is so good at lying he has harem of followers including my toxic parents. I needed to hear this advice. Thank you his lies know no bounds.
đâ€
Facing similar, sigh, grace to u.. âšđđŸâš
Acharich Speaks the end of this month I have to gather witnesses and take to the stand to prove we were engaged that my behaviour towards him wasnât abusive, that it was a marital home etc etc. They stop at nothing itâs truly evil the things they will come up with. Thank god we are no longer involved with a brain like that!! He has zero consideration for the children. Once you know your dealing with a narcissist you have to get away. Iâm sending you love and light xx
Congratulations, but why did you marry him to begin with?
TheJbhmetal ? Are you a troll? Clearly you have never hooked up with a charismatic narcissist đ
I feel like I'm always the EMT of any conversation with my son's father , we have been ex's for 2yrs , my new mantra is" your emotions are a warning for your logic to kick in " thank you for supporting people who are in relationships with a covert narcissist we need itđđ
0Ă
I will be using these until the divorce. Thank you, this will make my life more tolerable for the next few months
Best wishesđ
This is great!!!! I work with a narcissist and I've been able to identify it early. Very lucky to find this video. Thanks so much.
Jodie Richardson,hope you are not with a narc đ cause you are too precious!đčđșđșđșđșđș
Jodie Richardson,Hope you are not with a narcissist.....
this worked quite well when my narc-33-year-old-unemployed-brother-living-with-mom-and-spending-all-her-money tried to raise an argument with me on my FB today! thanks!
Glad to hear it! â€đ
I appreciate the first part of this--thanks! However to respond with "So what?" to my narc would be like kicking a lion in the mouth. I've found no response at all is best.
I wish I had seen this years ago. I made all of the mistakes, fell into the traps and now am fighting to keep my children in a custody battle. I lost round 1 with family services because he's good at what he does and I have so many triggers from the 15 years of trauma inflicted. But it's not over and I have a hearing in front of a judge. Hopefully, I can learn from these videos and train myself in time to save me and my children from a bad outcome. Better late than never. And it is so obvious that I need some serious healing and new psychological
/emotional skills.
My sister is narcissistic and violent. Since I was little and I just can't deal with it anymore. She is 25 (I am 17 and still in my education) but she still lives at home bc she cant move out. She destroys the whole family. She's so rude and manipulative. She harassed me physically and mentally my whole life ...
Can somebody please give me and my parents tips to deal with this?
I LOVE this video ! She gets exactly what it's like to shut them down.
The best advice to dealing with a narcissist.
This woman knows this topic so well. Genuis
Genius is too strong a word for good tips.
I have a psychology degree. This video was very helpful to me. I tend to react with emotions because I am an empath. This person knows how to push my buttons. The main thing about getting into a relationship with a narcissist is that they force you to look why you chose that in the first place. It is a growing experience. I have gone no contact with the person. The shame campaign is going on now. I have always been pink and positive. I slipped yesterday, did, a video not mentioning her name, but, it wasn't me. I am an empath. I would rather have feelings. It must be very difficult for an narcissist to exist in life. No feelings... Push your buttons etc. I now put signs in my apt. DON'T REACT. If she/he starts to push your buttons, it is right to breathe for a few seconds. You will get through this. I just discarded her 3 weeks ago. Remember,,,, people who are your friends ar your friends. People who aren't you don't deserve to be around. I feel much better. She is right in another video. Don't react
This video made me realize that it's not me. I wanted to find out how to deal with a Narcissist sister. You hit everything she is and who I am. Thank you đ
Brilliant!
Unfortunately I've had to develop most of these tactics through trial and error for my own sanity and am now wrapping up a 32 year relationship! Your point on calling her out on emotional tantrums she's displaying and trying to accuse me of the same even though I'm dead calm, hasn't worked, though. She will flat out deny her aggressive behaviour and then accuse me of misunderstanding whatever.
So glad I'm leaving!
You're doing great work, thank you!
Once you know what you're dealing with these people tend to be dumber than a second coat of paint.
Lollll
Give examples, please.
Dr. Larry Mitchell seriously! Lol
@@goodyeoman4534 because they 'tell' on themselves (projecting) like you do.
@@annekerotterdam7499 I thought you were going? You need the last word, don't you 'narc'?
Okay, have it. Thrill us with a biting punchline....
thought i was done with this shit but turns out my step mom is a N so here i am watching this for the second time this year...thank you for the tools and explanations. she's getting worse as she's getting older and meaner...she even went after our next door neighbor a few days ago so at least i've got some support who knows what i'm dealing with now!
Thank you for explaining such a complex disorder in simple, practical terms.
I learned the hard way through years of abuse that my ex husband is a malignant narcissist. Everything with him was an antagonized argument.
He is diabolical vindictive and calculated. And of course heâs always the victim and everyone else is at fault for what he does
I'm sorry you went through that. Hope you're in a better place now đâ€
Diabolical punishing manipulative in my case. Eerily creepy with those penetrating eyes, that look.
Me too, Nancy. But I'm still married to him, 33 years. Relying on God and staying strong. â€
Susanna Y. 30 years for me and couldnât take anymore of his abuse and was sick of being the codependent prey and easy target for the predator he is . I finally signed divorce papers today! And right after I signed literally the rain stopped and a rainbow came
out !!Such a long time coming!!
Nancy & Susanna...me too. I have been married to an aloof, absent narcissist for 32 years. Iâm getting stronger everyday but itâs not easy.
I live with one. We have kids together. Itâs rough
SO DO I , BUT I,M PLANNING TO LEAVE = THE THOUGHT OF IT IS PURE HEAVEN
Ive been with one for 5yr and we have two children together. And it hard he physical and mental abuse me every chance he get. To where i went to using drug now he has full custody of are children . I need help
Iâm a child of a narcissist and made the mistake of taking the bait tonight... Iâm not looking forward to the next few days, Iâm trying to pick up some tips.
I hope you find the strength to leave, or at least teach your kids a few tips so they can deal with you partner
I second that. Very draining.
@@bobbiesigman5281 I am sorry to read you have endured so much stress. If you really want to improve your life you need to got to drug rehab and get professional medical support and counselling starting this week.
You need to prove to the courts and to your partner, friends and family members that you are on the road to recovery and you are serious about being a better person (drug free).
I hope you have people that can help you do this and you eventually get access to your children again. Never give up, you can do this. There is always hope xxoo
THIS IS BRILLIANT! I can actually apply ALL of these ways straight away and it makes me feel empowered because there are actions that removes the deep emotional reactions I have each time I am triggered. Thank you so much for taking the time to do this. â€ïž
When they bait you. I say to them.
'Unfortunate YOU think that way, didn't think that a person like you would say that...but it is what it is'đđ
I'm fairly new to realizing I'm dealing with a narcissist. One thing I'm aware of now is that she was baiting me to say things about others. She would tell me that she thinks Person X has a problem with me and make a case for it - they didn't invite you to their party, they posted a vague thing on facebook that was probably meant for you, etc etc... and try to get me to say something bad about Person X. After a while, I'd be convinced Person X has a problem with me, I might say something slightly negative like "yeah I have noticed Person X is kind of an elitist" or whatever. Then she would go to Person X and tell them I thought they were an elitist. Now that I know, I can think of 3 or 4 different people she used to bait me with. I'm just writing this to warn others that this is a tactic. Don't let the narcissist try to get you to talk about other people, no matter how much they convince you this other person deserves to be talked about.
I've tried something similar to "so what" response like by body language not showing interest and the narc sulks. Lmao. Just like kids who can't their way.
When you don't react, they have no power đâ€
Felt really good listening to you talk about it. You are so right, and this really resonates with me during this time. Hope I'll manage it :) Thank you!!!
My son has been with a narcissist , for 3 years . Iâm so glad Iâve ran across all these videos , because Iâve have given him this same advice , now he can hear it from an expert , and hopefully heâll be on his way of getting her out of his life , and not going back to her . Thank you for all your videos , I hope he listens and uses the tools , you provide .
Excellent advice! Thank you. Itâs an amazing feeling to finally realize, the game narcissists play. Videos, such as this one, gave me exactly, the closure I was seeking.., over a year ago & an understanding, of the game, Iâd just been playing. After an 8 yr., off and on, game playing relationship, I allowed.., Iâm blessed and fortunate to have knowledge, & a long awaited love for myself, that no individual, cld ever make me doubt, or take away from my belief system again. Ur tips are helpful and appreciated by so many, thank you.
wow that was awesome, it really helped me understand more about myself as a victim from a narcissist. i enjoyed your clip thank you
This video was an eye opening to me Iâve dealt with a narcissist and not one multiple, and because of that I am now studying all of this Thankyou for your helpful information!!!
Really needed this video, this over has just saved my sanity from all these mind games â„ïž thank You!