Thoughts on this video or an experience to share dating single mothers? Post a comment below. Channel Sponsor: You're showering anyways, so why not buy handmade soap from a sponsor that supports the creation of my content. Use code "COOPER" at checkout and Get 10% off Tactical Soap mentioned at the end of the video here: bit.ly/2jQEZbz If you want to join us at the 21 convention this fall, you can grab a ticket here: team.21university.com/78641/6171 Make a reach.me request: www.reach.me/RichardCooper Get 1 on 1 coaching with me: clarity.fm/richardcooper Join my private mens community & get perks: www.entrepreneursincars.com/community/
You do realise you're a bunch of gross, old neckbeards in no position to be so picky??? I've got no kids and am in my twenties, do you think women like me would be interested in a bunch of old divorced Dads lmao.
Low self esteem. Usually the guy isn't a ladies man per say, and he's just happy to have a woman. The woman on the other hand just wants someone to raise the kids. The only condition to hook up with a single mom is if she makes way more money than you do. At least it won't be a financial strain
Vic Wilson dusty couch ornament...why would a wealthy single mother want to invest in a lazy man that makes less than her? Lazy broketep losers with no ambition is what I see in this comment sections
@@mikenelson8377 cause there trying to get SAVED!.. MY ex is doing this right now again for like 4the time to some Blue pill beta in his upper forties.. and she's moving quick. This guy has no idea!
For me, the hard part about walking away from the single mom I was dating is that I was genuinely in love with her. But it wasn't working for me mainly because of logistics. Then the guilt I felt leaving her is overwhelming because she is so overwhelmed by her life. You guys should do a video discussing guilt. I think a lot of men struggle with this, especially with single mothers.
Same situation here, dated a divorced woman with 3 kids who I genuinely loved as a person and friend. Cut it off for all of the aforementioned reasons but it was like having to put down a dog. These videos help me realize I made the right choice.
@@JoelSanchez-QUADZ Every situation is different, but you need to think about what life will look like 5 year down the line and do what's right for you. The woman needs to have it together, be working on her issues, and respects what you want. Otherwise you probably should go. There are a few success stories out there but alot of negative ones...men aren't just making them up. I felt like I was in the movie "Get Out"
@@leonheart4178 bro I just got done doing it... she was yelling at me, saying I'm not a man. Was rough... thank you for the wisdom tho man. After constantly seeing how the red pill is, it was hard to keep going through with it. But I think I just needed someone to say it I guess. Thanks tho man. I'm 25 BTW. She 27 with 2 kidz.
@@JoelSanchez-QUADZ At 25 you've got plenty of time to find another woman with less baggage then. Work on yourself and your life goals. Best of luck from one Joel to another.
Be careful with all women. You might end up in a relationship you did not want. And then you will end up providing to her, and carrying her on your shoulders for the rest of your life. The most important questions You need to ask: WILL MY LIFE BE BETTER WITH HER? WHAT IS SHE BRINGING TO THE TABLE? IS SHE WORTH MY MONEY,TIME,STRESS ?
I have the possibility of dating a single mom with kids. I read your questions at the end, and even though I`m tempted to pursue this possibility. I was able to answer no to everyone of those questions.
@Oz Oz .... This whole thing happened right out of the blue. We work for the same company, but in different departments. We know each other through video chat meetings, and also work based messenger. Last Friday, she met up with me in messenger to let me know it was her last day. She then went on to say so many, and I mean many flattering things about me, that it left me speechless. Then she said "I love you Joe" Now of course I took that with a grain of salt. Remember the old Budweiser commercials, where they had the "I love you man" thing going on? Then before I knew it, I was typing back and stating that we have to keep in touch. Next thing I knew is we were exchanging emails, and phone numbers. She said that we will do lunch very soon, and asked me how Sunday the 28th sounded? I told her it sounded great! So later on in the evening, I decided to text her so we could chat. She replied late, and let me know she was out with her kids at the arcade. That's when I found out she has kids. I told her I wouldn't take up her time, and would love to chat when she had time. Well, tomorrow will make 1 day to the week since then and I haven't heard back from her. For all I know she will forget about Sundays lunch date, and that, will be that as they say.
I'm 50, never married, no children. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life; I don't have a decent job, I am low status, am not a quality man, but even if I were, I'm not sure I'd want to take a chance with any women these days. Not sure wether to weep at my situation or breathe a sigh of relief that I missed a bullet.
It can be a fun roller coaster for a while. But after two or three rides you're gonna throw up if you don't get off and check out the sideshows or something.
I like what Rollo says at the end about women being full of themselves on dating sites. And how they are like, "My kids come first, so if you can't handle that, then don't contact me." Which, is why I quit dating sites a few years back. It's total bull shit.
"you're not doing enough to move our relationship forward".... She means her relationship where she brings %100 of the baggage and %0 of the game plan. In the same breath tells you she's a strong, independent woman. This is simply the end of that particular "relationship". Walk away.
Dated a single mom recently. It was hellacious to say the least. Angry, narcissistic, unpredictable and promiscuous. I found all this out after the honeymoon phase. She wanted the good life but never did anything to contribute. Her moods swung on a dime with no logic behind it. Finally realized she was Bipolar with a hint of PTSD from physical abuse she inflicted and suffered in her many relationships prior to us. In the end as I started coming to my senses, she was cheating and became distant and sneaky. I talked to her on a Monday for 10 min. Called her back 5 minutes later and she didn't return my call until 6 hours later before her job started. I stopped calling and texting as I knew she was out all night with someone else. Two days later, she post a pic of a new dude declaring she appreciates how he loves and appreciates her. Go figure......
@Charles backstrom Had something similar. Mostly you see in a few Actions where the journey will go trough. Even in the honeymoon. After it ,it will get even worse. I was also with a single mum. Hot 30 years old. But all the red flags where there. I where always able to love away the first couple of months. But she convienced me to Trust her. Then after all she ended and settled 3 weeks later with another one. Mostly the Problem is that you turn automaticly Beta with a single mum,cause you do never feel comfortable to do rase a child Who is not yource.
At 55 I found the expectations of same aged women is totally unrealistic Secondly they say they are financially secure This is because they had a brilliant settlement in their divorce Pretty rich statement and requiring the same level Most men would be financial if they didn’t get divorced
This is 1000% true. As was the case with my ex wife and I she’s come up roses and I’m living in a basement suite for 3 years now. I haven’t rented in 20 years. When we got together it was my hard earned money that kept moving us up in the world. She has a new guy to leach off of now and it’s taken 6 years for me to get out of debt. This month I’ll be debt free!
Single mothers will always put their child first (as they should) and expect you to put them and their child first. Doesn't matter that the child isn't yours, she'll call you a "role model" in her childs life and try to make you feel responsible. You will not live peacefully. The child will have problems that you must cope with. In most cases the mother will take extreme offense to anything you say that's even the least bit critical of her mothering or about her child in general. You will spend a lot more money being with a single mother. You will have a lot less freedom with a single mother, because she can't simply go and do whatever she wants. Last, at any point she and her child could be out of your life for good and you will be physically, emotionally and financially drained.
I don't agree with putting a child first I think the parents should come first because if you're not happy your children won't be happy. In a marriage relationship the spouse should always come first after taking care of your own needs. In my view God should come completely first. But the children should come next because if you're serving your children how can you have any foundation for them because you were there first? They will see that you don't have your own life. And they won't develop their own inner life either
@@bonezbaaaby If you are with the person you had kids with, sure. However, if you are a single mother, you definitely should not put a man you're dating or even married to before your children. When you have children, you literally will take a bullet for them. If you don't feel that way, it's a pretty good indication that having children was a mistake.
The father of my child cheated for years and abandoned me with his child. I’m a single mother because my life’s in danger from being succumbed into assault and domestic violence, which includes physical abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse, financial abuse, as well as being gaslighted everyday. I’ve suffered and he left me with permanent damage. Also, the father of my child raped me drugging me and impregnating me. He broke my heart into a million pieces alongside more hatred towards me. I’ve survived hell on earth. I’ve picked myself up from hell on earth without any help, and I’m very responsible providing for my own living raising a child by myself from birth to now. I didn’t choose to be a single mother. Please extend compassion and empathy.
@@cookiescakes3259 Hey lady, take accountability because you chose to have a kid with an asshole so live with it. A lot of you women do the same crap, gets assholes and then have kids knowing they are assholes thinking they will change. I have zero empathy for you.
I grew up with a single mom. I ended up marrying a woman with a kid. HUGE mistake! The worst part was I knew instinctively it was a mistake but got guilted/wanted a kid to grow up with the dad I never had. I raised her from 4 to 18, even adopted her. When she got married 4 years after her mom cheated and I got divorced, I wasn't invited to the wedding.
Just because a woman has children doesn't mean she isn't as valuable as a woman who doesn't. She could be all kinds of things, and much more experienced than someone you feel the need to groom. And it's runt... Not rump. Not even a clever pun bud.
Here is the thing. The Most Alpha of men, have a good woman who loves them and stands by them. Some men are Single Dads. Single Dads should date single Moms, and People without children should date each other.
I thank my dad who fell in love and married my mom in the early 1960s. She already had 6 kids from her past marriage. She divorced a very bad man, then years later met my dad. He also was 7 years younger than my mom. He treated those kids as if they were his own. They had 4 kids together and were married for 18 years til her death from cancer. I thank God for my father's love for my mother and he's a hero to 10 kids for making his decisions.
The only overpopulation is coming from the 3rd world. We would be far better off if people in first world countries started having more kids, and not subsidizing 3rd world countries to have babies.
Yup, it can certainly happen, BW,...don't know for sure what the numbers are, BUT, I think it ends up...HE ends up...in the shitter...by her AND Divorce Corp.
I'm a single man without children and I refuse to date single mothers and I refuse to give a woman a child. All women I have had a steady relationship with have asked, but none have managed to convince me why its a great idea.
A good friend of mine that i grew up with married a single mom about 4 years ago. I have not seen him since his wedding. She gained over 80 pounds and he now works three jobs to support her and her child. She wont give him a child of his own and controls every aspect of his life. Nearly everyone i know is getting married. In fact im going to another friend's wedding today....
I dated a single mother of 2. It was the worst experience of my life. It really showed me the sense of entitlement that women have. She wanted me to change my whole life Bc she wanted to get fucked without a condom by some dweeb. The kids thought I was supposed to spend money on them and go to all of their games. My gf was way too friendly with her ex, but wanted me to cut off every female friend I had. I stayed for 2 years and eventually left bc she crossed boundaries with her ex and I was miserable living a life in a small town centered around kids i didn’t make. I’ll never date a woman with kids again. To have an ex around who fucked your girl doesn’t sound like a good situation to me
My ex baby momma has came back to me like a half doz times!..I'm 2 years younger then her and all the guys she tried to level up with were at 4 years older then her. All bigger than me, and made a lot more money...Can you guess the outcome?? It was always apparently there fault and or not good enough!😂😂..I can't make this shit up...some men just have there imprint on there kids mother's for life.💯
@@PoyTroy fuck her, and kick her back to the streets...she didn't respect you in the past, she ain't gonna in the Future. There always looking for a bailout
I've only hooked up with 1 single mom and it was never about forming a relationship, just sex but overall I have never agreed with raising another Man's child. It just doesn't register with me. I've had many single mom's heavily flirt with me but they know I'm the type of guy to not stick around so it never went anywhere.
I had a friend who had 2 kids out of wedlock with 2 different men , then she gets with a guy for ten yrs , after they broke up he was on the hook for her kids and child support . Don't ever date a single mother
Had a horrible experience with a single mother of two. Talk about personal agendas. Love bombing, devaluation and discarding... I can admit I ignored several red flags that should’ve triggered me to GET OUT. Bottom line, I let go of the main and landed on my emergency parachute.
I once had a single mother online guilt brigade her family, friends and white knights into making me have a relationship with her. But, this branch was too high for that simian to grab hold of
What a funny video--the title hooked me because I've dated a single mother. I feel like an idiot after watching the video. I basically had all of the thoughts that you guys said while I was dating her. Hot, great in the sheets, and I had a bit of the hero complex. What really got me was my scarcity mindset though. I hadn't met any other attractive women at the time. But whenever we went out and I saw other women who were younger and obviously without child, I thought, "What the hell am I doing?" But then I thought that it would be dirty and disloyal to leave her. Another thing was that she didn't have custody of the kid; the dad did, so it was kind of like she didn't have a kid? Anyways, she ended up being a crazy hot girl, so after breaking up, I've been going out and meeting younger and cuter women who obviously don't have kids. The lesson that I learned was never to be in a scarcity mindset.
Powerful analysis! Single mothers and older unmarried women also manipulate younger/passive females and children. I experienced their lies and deceit first hand. They have no shame, and they find pleasure when the people around them bow to their will. These experiences also led me to this channel for understanding and self protection😀.
My sister(31) was marrieds for 12 years and her husband was good in the beginning, had me and everyone else fooled but he was cheating on her and then he hit her ? I hit him. She knows no man will want her with 2 kids and shes a single mom now. She was loyal and submissive and always supported him but when he started making money he changed. What advise do I give her ? I'm anti-single mother but I feel like life really took a blind hit to her. I know she really was happy when her family was there and together.
Tell her to join the reserve and toughen up. There she will meet a military man that will cherish her if she is a good person.. My sister went through the same crap in the past with a womanizing man and left her with 2 kids. She is now a stronger woman and is getting married to a sargeant..
CS Fabrication, LLC You guys did not really know him then I’m not saying it’s her fault but it takes years to know a person I don’t know if you guys really knew him he just had you guys fooled.
@Vic Wilson you really can only speculate. Maybe he hit her because she was just so frustrating. Maybe she refused to cook, clean, help out. Maybe she was always causing stress instead of at least taking care of herself . A lot of women today were so spoiled because they had such good parents that provided everything to them. The quote, soccer moms. They drove them to all these activities, gave them nice clothes etc. The however firgot to teach them the basic necessities of life. Being able to take care of yourself first. Life is not being driven around everywhere, playing sports, sleep overs, etc. Yes have fun but teaching discipline and chores FIRST , loyalty to family. Etc.
CS Fabrication, LLC there's an old wise saying; ass wuppings don't just fall out of the sky. Every man thinks his sister/sisters are the exceptions to the rules, but naw. I was once in your shoes and thought the same. Come to find out yrs later my sister was being an absolute bitch to her husband, and he didn't deserve the ass kicking I gave him. You should do what I learned to do, ignore your sister, because this may be her first rodeo, it definitely won't be her last. Live your life, let her destroy hers and make her own trouble on her own.
Because in my experience many single mothers (not widows) chase you and make you feel like a God. Not too many men have the experience of being relentlessly chased by an attractive woman. It's flattering and its easy to give in to the vanity that this flattery brings with it. Of course, the woman in question is doing her best to nail your paypacket for the sake of her bastards but you've usually but not always have to experience this first hand before you get burnt and learn the lesson.
My warning about single mothers is this: I've been through this experience. There are certain kinds of women that throw red flags up. Most men with any kind of sense give them a wide berth and for good reasons. Meet these women and no matter how attractive they are your inner alarm bells will be ringing loudly. However, sometimes in life and especially with the rise of the Internet and social media we meet again with girls we knew when we were at school and a very young age. You probably have fond, pleasant and sweetly nostalgic memories of that girl from those childhood days. Hear my warning.... That girl is dead. She died when she lost her innocence. What replaced her looks and acts like that lovely child you remember but the adult woman presented in front of you is not by any measure the same person. We all change and that's healthy and natural. It'd be weird if we didn't mature. But men rarely lose their core essence like a woman does. My point is that you may (like I did before the scales fell from my eyes and I wised up) end up with the sort of single mother that if you met fresh would not go near. Because you knew her as a kid you will be tempted to gloss over many red flags. The sort of red flags you'd steer clear of if you met her as someone entirely new. This is fatal. I wouldn't say "never" because sometimes it works out for people but my personal hard won experiences and observation tell me that you'd be a fool and a mug to play Capn' Save-a-Ho. Your efforts will not be appreciated. You will not compete with the deadbeat whose cock they dripped off the end of. You're not blood. You'll be abused and used and because you've still got this stupid romantic notion that the woman is still the same person as the child with the same moral compass, decency and values you'll tend to put up with it until it inevitably collapses. Then she'll move on to the next sap. I know adopted families work out well for some and I'm very happy for them. For me, I was weak and forgiving enough to be a doormat. Don't let it happen to you. My good news is that I got out relatively unscathed, with a lot more knowledge, self respect and other beneficial changes necessarily forced by my experience of marrying a childhood friend single mom but I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I blame myself. Never again.
They may appreciate you more, but you can never be as close to them because you will never be a member of their family unit. I spent 2 years only being able to sleep with my gf 2 nights a week.
Because the guys are desperate and the single mothers are available. It’s easier to just take what’s available than postpone sex until they find someone that meets all their standards.
Rollo just spit some truth!! that right there is gold and regrettably it didn't fall on enough ears for it to get out. this video needs at least a million views at the minimum.
wow the hero instinct is strong in men. To perceive being a hero in the context of taking care of someone else's kids is very manipulative. I think women do that subconsciously, to trigger the hero instinct. Of course, the manipulation is conscious.
I know this is an older video but I'm going through and catching up on some of Richard's and Rollo's work. And God damn is Rollo smart! I can honestly say I've never heard anyone so clearly and concisely state the true nature of how all of this works as Rollo does.
I was once at a bar in this dude asked his friend the same damn question why are you dating a single mother dude and his reply to him was.... her younger sisters hell of a good screw. Everybody around that guy was dead silent and then all of a sudden the whole bar started busting out in laughter.
There's always a choice. You just date younger. Most of the women at Gold's where I workout give me more attention that n guys half my age. Tons of younger women prefer older guys. At 42, I am stronger than most of the millenials around me. Millenials = The soft generation.
DIVISIONINCISION No they don't. I'm in my twenties, so are my friends. We want men our age, or at the most of few years older. Don't be one of those creepy older guys that make us gag. I have a divorced 40 year old Dad ask me out recently, I was like WTF?! It's the arrogance that you think we'd be interested. It's only celebrities or VERY attractive men that still look young that get younger women.
For me I don't want a 20 year old. She has a totally different mindset at that age. Kids. Marriage. They don't even know who they are or what they want. They haven't experienced life. Besides, the best sex I've had is with older women.
Tell that to the women who are paying attention to me at the gym even though they're with their lame-ass boyfriends. No woman does that if she respects a boyfriend. That says to me that she's not genuinely attracted to him if she's flirting with strange men at the gym. Men twice her boyfriend's age. Millenial men are weak as hell. I get more interested from women half my age than women in my own peer group. Maybe you should tell them not to be attracted.
I'm only talking about a physical relationship, not kids or marriage. I'm not getting married or having kids. Jesus. Look around you. All the parents I see are miserable and their lives are shit. I'm not going for that. I like my free time and money.
Right lol The kids are with the mother most of the time and They talk about "I dont Look for a father for my kid" Bitch of course because the kid is always with you so the New boyfriend automaticcly has to play daddy They so delusional
BigLBA1 as he should be he brought that child into the world equally his doing! Many times the father wants out of the marriage...usually due to something superficial like the woman’s weight or she’s too tired for sex
@@you_a_noob8295 How is that superficial? If the woman has no interest in sleeping with her husband and doesn't care about her health and appearance, something is wrong.
Definitely true on the sex part. When we were first dating it was 3 times a day, every day. Later on she told me that she was sore but didn't want to put out that perception early on. Still having lots of intimate time almost 9 years out.
Yea there are guys who dont want their own kids, but I cant see that same guy wanting to part ways with his money, time, efforts for some other douche bags sperm? If he doesnt want kids usually it's because he values his freedom and wants to live a particularly exciting life, not take some guys old family in so they can bankrupt him. Not his responsibility!!!
They date single moms because they were available in that moment. Single mothers tend to be more likely to approach a man and be more open to being approached because they know they have less options and are running out time before they hit the proverbial wall thus they make themselves more available especially the beta male provider types.
When I was young I married. 4 months after our son was born my ex husband started sleeping with other women. A year later when I found out about the infidelity, he ended up leaving me and abandoning our son, haven't seen him for 6 years now (his choosing). Take that as you will. I have never had a hard time dating. Men, good men, have been attempting to be with me, some for years now. I feel like it was often wanting to come in and be the savior or a protector for me and my child. I also feel like a lot of women in my position need help and jump back into a relationship with a man for that reason. I've been really blessed as I have a really supportive family that has helped me when I needed it. I never had to run back into marriage, but let me tell you, I have faced *enormous* pressure from family because I did not remarry sooner. Some members of my family made it clear it was expected of me to find a man and take my burden off the family...
At around 3:00 he makes a great point about single mothers kids and trying to protect them from crazy mom. Recently one of my cleaning girls brought over her 10 year old daughter, the kid was a real sweetheart and I felt so terrible that she's going to grow up without a father because her piece of s*** father is in prison and her mother is too dumb to raise her properly with a good father. Her grandfather's have passed away so she has absolutely no male figure in her life. At the end of the day when this single mother came back to the office from the job site with her 10 year old daughter, I gave her daughter a gift certificate to the Dairy Queen and I gave her a fresh cut rose from the rose gardens and while her mother was putting things away I had a chance to talk to her about school and what she's doing. Later that night I thought to myself, my God that poor girl might never receive a flower again or understand how a girl is it to be treated because her mother will not have it that way for her.
Involved with mother of 5 for 3 years. Lots of easy access sex and liked playing dad but when the negatives outweighed the positives I had to blow through.
I have a friend (well I barely see him now) who met his current single mom gf at a bar. He’s 36 she’s 45, with three kids. He’s helping her move and do renovations on her new house.. 😑
I know a guy who married a single mom that has 2 kids.(They only dated for 1 year prior to their marriage). Apparently the biological dad left her during the second pregnancy. He has never been located and believed to have left the country and living in Europe somewhere. Fast forward.... 6 months into their marriage she got pregnant...my buddy found out that he was xyx and can't have children....now he wants a divorce and she is threatening him with child support. This is in CA. We as men need to stop getting ourselves in situations like this..
I really appreciate what y'all are doing. I call you guys the beta blockers. I'm beating the beta out of myself. Your conversations are helpful. Thank you!
I've watched a number of your videos and really appreciate the topics and perspectives from which they are addressed. I hear the men speaking from a place of experience and authenticity, which is awesome. I have difficulty however with how single mothers/mums are spoken of. Maybe I am misunderstanding something, or maybe your perspectives are based on statistics, but the generalizations are unfairly painting all of us- I am a single MUM- with the same broad stroke. My satisfaction is in being the best I can be, by pursuing my own goals self sufficiently. This is also the kind of man I want to be in partnership with. Respect is mutual.
Katte just sounds to me like you're justifying stereotypes, regardless of the statistical odds of accuracy. I could do the same with men, and women have....but the fact that I exist proves to me that without a doubt there are men who share my values. Which, shockingly, may not be what you are broadly implying them to be.
OF Ta_ne_zzyan I left him. After years of believing in loyalty and support I woke up to admit that he was very ill. I urged him to pursue a mental evaluation which he is in denial of. I have only thrived since the split. I took my own red pill. The satisfaction of autonomy and unlimited possibility is incomparable. I want a partnership that enhances this, not limits it.
OF Ta_ne_zzyan exceptions wouldn’t exist without rules, if there’s an exception there’s a rule. I wasn’t disagreeing with you, just adding to your statement. My intent was not meant to contradict.
I dated a single mother and currently dating one since the divorce for two reasons, 1: I'm a single father of 2 so they understand my situation. That my kids needs come first. 2: I am very introverted so I need very little from a relationship to be satisfied. I'm perfectly happy only going on a couple dates a month. I can't do clingy.
Ask any good psychologist how well that philosophy of "my kids come first" works for a relationship; it doesn't. Modern shrinks and psychologists have discovered that putting your significant other first builds a very healthy relationship and gives the children a very good example. Whereas when one puts the kids first, you're giving them a horrible example, and teaching them to be spoiled, self centered brats. Please research this yourself, because a lot of people get this wrong and destroy one relationship after another. Remember when you were a kid, and mom and dad would make each other first priority, they would make time for each other, spend time with each other, even if it meant sending you kids to a friend's house for a night, or just eloping in the living room in each other's arms, etc. Remember it never bothered you, and you got a good example, from your dad how to properly treat a lady, and from your mom how to properly treat a man (for your sisters). It's for this reason any psychologist that's any good will tell you to walk away from a woman that says she has kids and they come first. She's telling you you will not get any attention or bonding with her once the honey moon is over. She's also letting you know she doesn't understand adult relationships or how to be an adult. Remember, the kids exist because of you and her, (in a normal relationship where divorce didn't occur) your relationship doesn't exist because of the kids. I'm sorry to rant, but I'm sick and tired of this my kids come first teaching, it's very wrong and harmful to your relationship and harmful to the upbringing of the kids. And I want you and your kids to have success! God bless my friend
I've only had one fling with a single mom. We were both in our early 20's and (luckily for me) it was by far one of the best times of my life. All fun, no stress or drama. We met in college by pure chance through a mutual friend. She had her finances together as she had plenty of support from her family. She worked in the family business, had no debt and lived with her parents. There were zero issues in her life as far as her ex; he started a new life several states away. Her daughter was healthy so zero stress there either. Based on our circumstances, the conditions were perfect for enjoying ourselves without any extraneous bullshit. I was already planning to move far away so she was aware of it and agreed to a strictly FWB deal. It lasted 6 months and it was pure hedonistic bliss from beginning to end. She was always in good spirits, kind, generous and with a libido perfectly compatible with mine. This was back in 1993, small town in Latin America with none of the distractions and collective sources of social manipulation we have nowadays. More than 20yrs later, I look back with deep gratitude because I know that was something literally sent from heaven and a very rare find indeed. I literally got to live the Peter North life every single day for 6 months straight. Now 25yrs later it's a very different world and I would be very cautious with contemplating the possibility of dating a single mom. On top of screening for the same red flags you'd look for in single women with no kids, you'd have to also screen for: Here's some deal breakers: 1. A psycho ex still involved in her life in any way, shape or form other than child support payments. 2. Children with issues: behavioral problems, health problems, psychiatric problems, etc. 3. Financial instability. She should be plenty capable to pay her kid's expenses. I don't have any kids of my own so I won't be paying for anyone else's. If I had kids, my resources should go to them and not some other dude's kids.
Indeed. That was a once in a billion years kind of thing and I look at it as such. These days, dating general has become a minefield from so many angles. Add someone else's kids to the mix and the risk/reward ratio is definitely not stacked in favor of us men.
For me, a single mom has a much lower MMV. Given that I am older and still want a family, a single (one child only) mom, looks like the best option. But not with an American woman. If raising another child is the price I have to pay for having children of my own, I'm okay with it.
There’s still women that are childless that want a relationship and perhaps for things to progress . You’re probably not looking in the right places . Try Libraries , coffee shops , some grocery stores, target, some gyms , universities ( preferably in the evenings for the grad students) just some suggestions :)
I guess you didn't understand the context. I'm older, old enough that many people tell me "you shouldn't even think about having children". Probably older than you. I'm just trying to find someone I can have a house full of kids with. I have no illusions about my market value, I'm tall, slender, make a good living, have a full head of hair, kind & caring, but I'm old.
You think that now, but you'll greatly regret it later. Ignore your thoughts, they're trying to screw you over. I've gone down that Rd, not worth it, not even a little bit.
I date here and there for entertainment and I have little use for women’s notion of love as it’s too inconsistent to ever be taken seriously by me. My story? Why is that relevant?
In the UK a single man finds it difficult to find a home. Where as women in the UK get handed homes when there with child. Here in the UK its about a roof over your head and to get a home is through a single mom.
Back when i was i guess 10 i understood that people get together with other people and have children because they fear being alone and dying old and helpless (fun fact: it happens anyway). So i wondered what'd i do in such situation and decidede that if things really gotten bad with age, i'd just blow my brains out if i'm too old and don't have anyone. simple as. but i will NOT trade 40 years of my life, money and personal peace for mitigating fear of dying alone if i don't find someone i genuinely want to spend my life with.
Desperate, broken men with little to no standing for themselves love gullible single mothers that’ll make it easy to have sex with. Sad I’ve had friends like this and never understood until I got wiser.
This is happening to me right now, the most passionate hottest sex, high notch count for her using dating apps, got me hooked, teenage kids have no respect whatsoever, daughter hates me because she wants all the attention from the mother, and now I've got onitis! Ex's as friends who's she's lied about, the father is in the background, she's 43, I'm 47 no kids. It's been a bloody Nightmare. Don't do it!!
Laws in the states are so wrong Your telling me if you take on kids that are not yours and you marry the woman you are financially responsible for those kids after a break up? Im from the UK and if the kid is not yours you don't pay maintenance
I was born in Seattle in 1973, where I grew up. Japanese-American. Male. A typical nice guy, good guy, and a nerd. So, when I'm 25, all of these desirable women pass over good guys like me, and they get pregnant by, and sometimes even marry Chad and Tyrone. "Chad and Tyrone are SO much more manly, studly, fun, and exciting," they say. Then, Chad and Tyrone abuse them (which I DON'T condone). Chad and Tyrone leave them and the kids, and leave them hanging out to dry. THEN these single mothers want her and her kids to be "rescued." Who do they FINALLY go to, to rescue them? The Ichiros, the Takeshis, the Changs, the Joon Youngs, the Tuans, and the Khamphengs! (I am Japanese-American, so I can say these things). To my fellow Ichiros and Changs: If they won't take us in their prime, we should not take them in their decline!! (New bonus: For Asian women who pass over us Ichiros and Changs for being too nerdy, and not studly and masculine enough, I have names for THEM: Noriko and Michiko!) We Ichiros and Changs need to say, “The HELL with you, Noriko and Michiko!”
Thoughts on this video or an experience to share dating single mothers? Post a comment below.
Channel Sponsor: You're showering anyways, so why not buy handmade soap from a sponsor that supports the creation of my content. Use code "COOPER" at checkout and Get 10% off Tactical Soap mentioned at the end of the video here: bit.ly/2jQEZbz
If you want to join us at the 21 convention this fall, you can grab a ticket here: team.21university.com/78641/6171
Make a reach.me request: www.reach.me/RichardCooper
Get 1 on 1 coaching with me: clarity.fm/richardcooper
Join my private mens community & get perks: www.entrepreneursincars.com/community/
You do realise you're a bunch of gross, old neckbeards in no position to be so picky??? I've got no kids and am in my twenties, do you think women like me would be interested in a bunch of old divorced Dads lmao.
You're a troll. You haven't proven that you're even a woman.
Thanks for the video. I have a 15 year old son who is just too nice and too sweet to girls. He needs to watch this.
Low self esteem. Usually the guy isn't a ladies man per say, and he's just happy to have a woman. The woman on the other hand just wants someone to raise the kids. The only condition to hook up with a single mom is if she makes way more money than you do. At least it won't be a financial strain
Vic Wilson dusty couch ornament...why would a wealthy single mother want to invest in a lazy man that makes less than her?
Lazy broketep losers with no ambition is what I see in this comment sections
I was amazed by how fast single women wanted to introduce me to their kids.
I avoid it like the plague now
I fell for it before.
@@PDZ2028 really? Why?? I’ve never had that temptation 🤷🏼♂️
Me I avoid them like the devil the church
@@mikenelson8377 cause there trying to get SAVED!.. MY ex is doing this right now again for like 4the time to some Blue pill beta in his upper forties.. and she's moving quick. This guy has no idea!
@@slkrick3319 seeing the same thing! Lol. Suckers
For me, the hard part about walking away from the single mom I was dating is that I was genuinely in love with her. But it wasn't working for me mainly because of logistics. Then the guilt I felt leaving her is overwhelming because she is so overwhelmed by her life. You guys should do a video discussing guilt. I think a lot of men struggle with this, especially with single mothers.
Same situation here, dated a divorced woman with 3 kids who I genuinely loved as a person and friend. Cut it off for all of the aforementioned reasons but it was like having to put down a dog. These videos help me realize I made the right choice.
Literally in the same predicament now.... undecided..
@@JoelSanchez-QUADZ Every situation is different, but you need to think about what life will look like 5 year down the line and do what's right for you. The woman needs to have it together, be working on her issues, and respects what you want. Otherwise you probably should go. There are a few success stories out there but alot of negative ones...men aren't just making them up. I felt like I was in the movie "Get Out"
@@leonheart4178 bro I just got done doing it... she was yelling at me, saying I'm not a man. Was rough... thank you for the wisdom tho man. After constantly seeing how the red pill is, it was hard to keep going through with it. But I think I just needed someone to say it I guess. Thanks tho man. I'm 25 BTW. She 27 with 2 kidz.
@@JoelSanchez-QUADZ At 25 you've got plenty of time to find another woman with less baggage then. Work on yourself and your life goals. Best of luck from one Joel to another.
Be careful with all women.
You might end up in a relationship you did not want.
And then you will end up providing to her, and carrying her on your shoulders for the rest of your life.
The most important questions You need to ask:
WILL MY LIFE BE BETTER WITH HER? WHAT IS SHE BRINGING TO THE TABLE?
IS SHE WORTH MY MONEY,TIME,STRESS ?
@Oz Oz yeah he defintley is. Us real men wouldn't get trapped like that
I have the possibility of dating a single mom with kids. I read your questions at the end, and even though I`m tempted to pursue this possibility. I was able to answer no to everyone of those questions.
@Oz Oz .... This whole thing happened right out of the blue. We work for the same company, but in different departments. We know each other through video chat meetings, and also work based messenger.
Last Friday, she met up with me in messenger to let me know it was her last day. She then went on to say so many, and I mean many flattering things about me, that it left me speechless. Then she said "I love you Joe" Now of course I took that with a grain of salt. Remember the old Budweiser commercials, where they had the "I love you man" thing going on?
Then before I knew it, I was typing back and stating that we have to keep in touch. Next thing I knew is we were exchanging emails, and phone numbers. She said that we will do lunch very soon, and asked me how Sunday the 28th sounded? I told her it sounded great!
So later on in the evening, I decided to text her so we could chat. She replied late, and let me know she was out with her kids at the arcade. That's when I found out she has kids. I told her I wouldn't take up her time, and would love to chat when she had time. Well, tomorrow will make 1 day to the week since then and I haven't heard back from her. For all I know she will forget about Sundays lunch date, and that, will be that as they say.
💯
What I tell men like I would tell my son if I had one. Always use protection and that goes for the ladies too though.
I'm 50, never married, no children. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life; I don't have a decent job, I am low status, am not a quality man, but even if I were, I'm not sure I'd want to take a chance with any women these days. Not sure wether to weep at my situation or breathe a sigh of relief that I missed a bullet.
You are more a winner than you think. Just count your blessings of having avoided a lot of heartache.
You are a Winner, sir!
I'm curious as to why you assess yourself as low status? Do you have a low paying job? Are you out of shape? Are you a felon?
Your freedom is an asset many men with $ would gladly trade for.
34 here, moving in ur direction. xD
With single mothers you can have your fun but you also need to know when the time is to move on with your life.
It can be a fun roller coaster for a while. But after two or three rides you're gonna throw up if you don't get off and check out the sideshows or something.
1 and done
Check the tire pressure
If you've met her kids, it's already gone too far.
michael skala yeah but sometimes is too dangerous... one single ride could render you with no turning back ticket.
I like what Rollo says at the end about women being full of themselves on dating sites. And how they are like, "My kids come first, so if you can't handle that, then don't contact me." Which, is why I quit dating sites a few years back. It's total bull shit.
Dating sites are way too many single mothers....
Even the single women are on there for attention, not to actually date a guy.
Very true bro.
These single moms infest the dating sites. " my kids come first'. That's why you're single and in a dating site.
"you're not doing enough to move our relationship forward"....
She means her relationship where she brings %100 of the baggage and %0 of the game plan.
In the same breath tells you she's a strong, independent woman.
This is simply the end of that particular "relationship".
Walk away.
james moore i was told that she was the only one moving the relationship forward...really couldn’t believe what i am hearing
Dated a single mom recently. It was hellacious to say the least. Angry, narcissistic, unpredictable and promiscuous. I found all this out after the honeymoon phase. She wanted the good life but never did anything to contribute. Her moods swung on a dime with no logic behind it. Finally realized she was Bipolar with a hint of PTSD from physical abuse she inflicted and suffered in her many relationships prior to us. In the end as I started coming to my senses, she was cheating and became distant and sneaky. I talked to her on a Monday for 10 min. Called her back 5 minutes later and she didn't return my call until 6 hours later before her job started. I stopped calling and texting as I knew she was out all night with someone else. Two days later, she post a pic of a new dude declaring she appreciates how he loves and appreciates her. Go figure......
@Ace King how can I help you Ace?
Count yourself lucky
I too had the very same experience. Sounds like we met the same woman! Unbelievable!
@Charles backstrom
Had something similar. Mostly you see in a few Actions where the journey will go trough. Even in the honeymoon. After it ,it will get even worse.
I was also with a single mum. Hot 30 years old.
But all the red flags where there.
I where always able to love away the first couple of months.
But she convienced me to Trust her.
Then after all she ended and settled 3 weeks later with another one.
Mostly the Problem is that you turn automaticly Beta with a single mum,cause you do never feel comfortable to do rase a child Who is not yource.
I’ve dealt with this almost same exact thing to a T
At 55 I found the expectations of same aged women is totally unrealistic
Secondly they say they are financially secure
This is because they had a brilliant settlement in their divorce
Pretty rich statement and requiring the same level
Most men would be financial if they didn’t get divorced
Thomas Wackerow I am 46 I find a lot of women 40s and 50s immature and very delusional. A lot still think they got it.
This is 1000% true. As was the case with my ex wife and I she’s come up roses and I’m living in a basement suite for 3 years now. I haven’t rented in 20 years. When we got together it was my hard earned money that kept moving us up in the world. She has a new guy to leach off of now and it’s taken 6 years for me to get out of debt. This month I’ll be debt free!
Single mothers will always put their child first (as they should) and expect you to put them and their child first. Doesn't matter that the child isn't yours, she'll call you a "role model" in her childs life and try to make you feel responsible.
You will not live peacefully. The child will have problems that you must cope with.
In most cases the mother will take extreme offense to anything you say that's even the least bit critical of her mothering or about her child in general.
You will spend a lot more money being with a single mother.
You will have a lot less freedom with a single mother, because she can't simply go and do whatever she wants.
Last, at any point she and her child could be out of your life for good and you will be physically, emotionally and financially drained.
Well explained!
That's why I'll never do it.....
You're spot on...I'm currently in a physical, emotional and financial drained state...I will never date a single mother again.
I don't agree with putting a child first I think the parents should come first because if you're not happy your children won't be happy. In a marriage relationship the spouse should always come first after taking care of your own needs. In my view God should come completely first. But the children should come next because if you're serving your children how can you have any foundation for them because you were there first? They will see that you don't have your own life. And they won't develop their own inner life either
@@bonezbaaaby If you are with the person you had kids with, sure. However, if you are a single mother, you definitely should not put a man you're dating or even married to before your children. When you have children, you literally will take a bullet for them. If you don't feel that way, it's a pretty good indication that having children was a mistake.
DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH SINGLE MOTHERS!
Naw. Pump and dump. Endless supply.
The father of my child cheated for years and abandoned me with his child. I’m a single mother because my life’s in danger from being succumbed into assault and domestic violence, which includes physical abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse, financial abuse, as well as being gaslighted everyday. I’ve suffered and he left me with permanent damage. Also, the father of my child raped me drugging me and impregnating me. He broke my heart into a million pieces alongside more hatred towards me. I’ve survived hell on earth. I’ve picked myself up from hell on earth without any help, and I’m very responsible providing for my own living raising a child by myself from birth to now. I didn’t choose to be a single mother. Please extend compassion and empathy.
@@cookiescakes3259 good for you. Yes we shouldn't generalize not all are the same.
@@cookiescakes3259 Hey lady, take accountability because you chose to have a kid with an asshole so live with it. A lot of you women do the same crap, gets assholes and then have kids knowing they are assholes thinking they will change. I have zero empathy for you.
@@beanzbeanz Wow, this comments section is like a magnet for abusive men.
I grew up with a single mom. I ended up marrying a woman with a kid. HUGE mistake! The worst part was I knew instinctively it was a mistake but got guilted/wanted a kid to grow up with the dad I never had. I raised her from 4 to 18, even adopted her. When she got married 4 years after her mom cheated and I got divorced, I wasn't invited to the wedding.
@Hicky Hicky Sometimes we have to do stupid things to learn. Maybe thats just me.
@Hicky Hicky This was before youtube. But the really stupid part was ignoring both my instincts and my mother's subtle advice.
Wow that’s harsh.
A man with options doesn’t settle for the rump of the litter
Borussia Doormat annnnd you have options? Here on a woman hating comment section?
@@you_a_noob8295 - STFU
@Hd34 Hd34 what about the accountability of men? After all men are created to lead
I think you mean runt
Just because a woman has children doesn't mean she isn't as valuable as a woman who doesn't. She could be all kinds of things, and much more experienced than someone you feel the need to groom. And it's runt... Not rump. Not even a clever pun bud.
Here is the thing. The Most Alpha of men, have a good woman who loves them and stands by them. Some men are Single Dads. Single Dads should date single Moms, and People without children should date each other.
I thank my dad who fell in love and married my mom in the early 1960s. She already had 6 kids from her past marriage. She divorced a very bad man, then years later met my dad. He also was 7 years younger than my mom. He treated those kids as if they were his own. They had 4 kids together and were married for 18 years til her death from cancer. I thank God for my father's love for my mother and he's a hero to 10 kids for making his decisions.
B Wallace wow, that is special to hear, 10 kids, that’s a hero.
The only overpopulation is coming from the 3rd world. We would be far better off if people in first world countries started having more kids, and not subsidizing 3rd world countries to have babies.
Yup, it can certainly happen, BW,...don't know for sure what the numbers are, BUT, I think it ends up...HE ends up...in the shitter...by her AND Divorce Corp.
Your dad fortunately lived in a largely pre-feminist world.
"6 kids from her past marriage.".....He must have been decent if she allowed 6 kids. Maybe she made him crazy.
I'm a single man without children and I refuse to date single mothers and I refuse to give a woman a child. All women I have had a steady relationship with have asked, but none have managed to convince me why its a great idea.
A good friend of mine that i grew up with married a single mom about 4 years ago. I have not seen him since his wedding. She gained over 80 pounds and he now works three jobs to support her and her child. She wont give him a child of his own and controls every aspect of his life. Nearly everyone i know is getting married. In fact im going to another friend's wedding today....
damn your friend is a real simp. Sad really. An overseas bride would be better than a single mom.
I think you misspelled funeral.
LOL! He deserves it.
SMH..that’s messed up.
If i was in your position i would tell him straight up''Marriage in this day and age is suicide i won't participate in a death ritual for a man''.
I dated a single mother of 2. It was the worst experience of my life. It really showed me the sense of entitlement that women have. She wanted me to change my whole life Bc she wanted to get fucked without a condom by some dweeb. The kids thought I was supposed to spend money on them and go to all of their games. My gf was way too friendly with her ex, but wanted me to cut off every female friend I had. I stayed for 2 years and eventually left bc she crossed boundaries with her ex and I was miserable living a life in a small town centered around kids i didn’t make. I’ll never date a woman with kids again. To have an ex around who fucked your girl doesn’t sound like a good situation to me
My ex baby momma has came back to me like a half doz times!..I'm 2 years younger then her and all the guys she tried to level up with were at 4 years older then her. All bigger than me, and made a lot more money...Can you guess the outcome?? It was always apparently there fault and or not good enough!😂😂..I can't make this shit up...some men just have there imprint on there kids mother's for life.💯
@@slkrick3319 funny u say this, my ex whom I have a kid with too, eventually comes back to me to lol. Just to get fucked from time to time lol
@@PoyTroy fuck her, and kick her back to the streets...she didn't respect you in the past, she ain't gonna in the Future. There always looking for a bailout
@@slkrick3319 exactly. It's strictly just a fucking thing, she knows she can't come back cause how she did things. I'm chillin
What boundary did she cross with her ex? I'm in a similar situation myself.
Guys I can not stress this enough, ALWAYS USE PROTECTION I don’t have kids or a wife. But I always use protection
And take the contents of your protection with you.
I've only hooked up with 1 single mom and it was never about forming a relationship, just sex but overall I have never agreed with raising another Man's child. It just doesn't register with me. I've had many single mom's heavily flirt with me but they know I'm the type of guy to not stick around so it never went anywhere.
I had a friend who had 2 kids out of wedlock with 2 different men , then she gets with a guy for ten yrs , after they broke up he was on the hook for her kids and child support . Don't ever date a single mother
I see men in court adopting their wife's children. They'll be divorced within a year and paying child support on someone else's children.
C'mon mannn a man has to be desperate to involve themselves with a single mother. There are just too many ways that it can go wrong.
I've heard many stories like this. Every man needs to be aware of the dirty tricks some women will try.
deep down the mother wants to be with the kids father...no matter how much she badmouths him..remember that.
damn! that is crazy..that is why you get a vasectomy and tell nobody.
I has a girlfriend try to convince me she was pregnant and I was like "that's impossible, you're only 5!"
I don't have any money, so women are only using me for sex....
Had a horrible experience with a single mother of two. Talk about personal agendas. Love bombing, devaluation and discarding... I can admit I ignored several red flags that should’ve triggered me to GET OUT. Bottom line, I let go of the main and landed on my emergency parachute.
I once had a single mother online guilt brigade her family, friends and white knights into making me have a relationship with her. But, this branch was too high for that simian to grab hold of
What a funny video--the title hooked me because I've dated a single mother. I feel like an idiot after watching the video. I basically had all of the thoughts that you guys said while I was dating her. Hot, great in the sheets, and I had a bit of the hero complex. What really got me was my scarcity mindset though. I hadn't met any other attractive women at the time. But whenever we went out and I saw other women who were younger and obviously without child, I thought, "What the hell am I doing?" But then I thought that it would be dirty and disloyal to leave her. Another thing was that she didn't have custody of the kid; the dad did, so it was kind of like she didn't have a kid? Anyways, she ended up being a crazy hot girl, so after breaking up, I've been going out and meeting younger and cuter women who obviously don't have kids. The lesson that I learned was never to be in a scarcity mindset.
Powerful analysis! Single mothers and older unmarried women also manipulate younger/passive females and children. I experienced their lies and deceit first hand. They have no shame, and they find pleasure when the people around them bow to their will. These experiences also led me to this channel for understanding and self protection😀.
My sister(31) was marrieds for 12 years and her husband was good in the beginning, had me and everyone else fooled but he was cheating on her and then he hit her ? I hit him. She knows no man will want her with 2 kids and shes a single mom now. She was loyal and submissive and always supported him but when he started making money he changed. What advise do I give her ? I'm anti-single mother but I feel like life really took a blind hit to her. I know she really was happy when her family was there and together.
Tell her to join the reserve and toughen up. There she will meet a military man that will cherish her if she is a good person.. My sister went through the same crap in the past with a womanizing man and left her with 2 kids. She is now a stronger woman and is getting married to a sargeant..
CS Fabrication, LLC You guys did not really know him then I’m not saying it’s her fault but it takes years to know a person I don’t know if you guys really knew him he just had you guys fooled.
Life took a blind hit to many women
@Vic Wilson you really can only speculate. Maybe he hit her because she was just so frustrating. Maybe she refused to cook, clean, help out. Maybe she was always causing stress instead of at least taking care of herself . A lot of women today were so spoiled because they had such good parents that provided everything to them. The quote, soccer moms. They drove them to all these activities, gave them nice clothes etc. The however firgot to teach them the basic necessities of life. Being able to take care of yourself first. Life is not being driven around everywhere, playing sports, sleep overs, etc. Yes have fun but teaching discipline and chores FIRST , loyalty to family. Etc.
CS Fabrication, LLC there's an old wise saying; ass wuppings don't just fall out of the sky. Every man thinks his sister/sisters are the exceptions to the rules, but naw. I was once in your shoes and thought the same. Come to find out yrs later my sister was being an absolute bitch to her husband, and he didn't deserve the ass kicking I gave him. You should do what I learned to do, ignore your sister, because this may be her first rodeo, it definitely won't be her last. Live your life, let her destroy hers and make her own trouble on her own.
Because in my experience many single mothers (not widows) chase you and make you feel like a God.
Not too many men have the experience of being relentlessly chased by an attractive woman.
It's flattering and its easy to give in to the vanity that this flattery brings with it.
Of course, the woman in question is doing her best to nail your paypacket for the sake of her bastards but you've usually but not always have to experience this first hand before you get burnt and learn the lesson.
This comment right here 👊
My warning about single mothers is this:
I've been through this experience.
There are certain kinds of women that throw red flags up.
Most men with any kind of sense give them a wide berth and for good reasons.
Meet these women and no matter how attractive they are your inner alarm bells will be ringing loudly.
However, sometimes in life and especially with the rise of the Internet and social media we meet again with girls we knew when we were at school and a very young age. You probably have fond, pleasant and sweetly nostalgic memories of that girl from those childhood days.
Hear my warning....
That girl is dead.
She died when she lost her innocence.
What replaced her looks and acts like that lovely child you remember but the adult woman presented in front of you is not by any measure the same person.
We all change and that's healthy and natural. It'd be weird if we didn't mature.
But men rarely lose their core essence like a woman does.
My point is that you may (like I did before the scales fell from my eyes and I wised up) end up with the sort of single mother that if you met fresh would not go near.
Because you knew her as a kid you will be tempted to gloss over many red flags. The sort of red flags you'd steer clear of if you met her as someone entirely new.
This is fatal.
I wouldn't say "never" because sometimes it works out for people but my personal hard won experiences and observation tell me that you'd be a fool and a mug to play Capn' Save-a-Ho.
Your efforts will not be appreciated.
You will not compete with the deadbeat whose cock they dripped off the end of. You're not blood.
You'll be abused and used and because you've still got this stupid romantic notion that the woman is still the same person as the child with the same moral compass, decency and values you'll tend to put up with it until it inevitably collapses.
Then she'll move on to the next sap.
I know adopted families work out well for some and I'm very happy for them.
For me, I was weak and forgiving enough to be a doormat.
Don't let it happen to you.
My good news is that I got out relatively unscathed, with a lot more knowledge, self respect and other beneficial changes necessarily forced by my experience of marrying a childhood friend single mom but I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
I blame myself. Never again.
Yes they teach you about narcissism and extreme external validation
They may appreciate you more, but you can never be as close to them because you will never be a member of their family unit. I spent 2 years only being able to sleep with my gf 2 nights a week.
The way i see it no mom looks for a man
mother does look for a man
Moms to busy being moms to be focus on their own needs and wants
Because the guys are desperate and the single mothers are available. It’s easier to just take what’s available than postpone sex until they find someone that meets all their standards.
Rollo just spit some truth!! that right there is gold and regrettably it didn't fall on enough ears for it to get out. this video needs at least a million views at the minimum.
I find the ones without kids after 26 are usually single for a fucking reasons too.. they're crazy..
Bat Shit Crazy!!!
Low hanging fruit. That’s why.
Rollo Tomassi knocked it right out of the ballpark when describing the single mother agenda.
wow the hero instinct is strong in men. To perceive being a hero in the context of taking care of someone else's kids is very manipulative. I think women do that subconsciously, to trigger the hero instinct. Of course, the manipulation is conscious.
Wow this is a refreshing truth
Hi Richard, Great topic. Id like to see a counterpoint analysis as to women's perceptions of men with kids.
Oh hell no. Stay away
I know this is an older video but I'm going through and catching up on some of Richard's and Rollo's work. And God damn is Rollo smart! I can honestly say I've never heard anyone so clearly and concisely state the true nature of how all of this works as Rollo does.
Fully agreed
I was once at a bar in this dude asked his friend the same damn question why are you dating a single mother dude and his reply to him was.... her younger sisters hell of a good screw.
Everybody around that guy was dead silent and then all of a sudden the whole bar started busting out in laughter.
As you get older you won't have much choice if you want to date. Unless you got a really big... you know... Bank account.
There's always a choice. You just date younger. Most of the women at Gold's where I workout give me more attention that
n guys half my age. Tons of younger women prefer older guys. At 42, I am stronger than most of the millenials around me. Millenials = The soft generation.
DIVISIONINCISION No they don't. I'm in my twenties, so are my friends. We want men our age, or at the most of few years older. Don't be one of those creepy older guys that make us gag. I have a divorced 40 year old Dad ask me out recently, I was like WTF?! It's the arrogance that you think we'd be interested. It's only celebrities or VERY attractive men that still look young that get younger women.
For me I don't want a 20 year old. She has a totally different mindset at that age. Kids. Marriage. They don't even know who they are or what they want. They haven't experienced life. Besides, the best sex I've had is with older women.
Tell that to the women who are paying attention to me at the gym even though they're with their lame-ass boyfriends. No woman does that if she respects a boyfriend. That says to me that she's not genuinely attracted to him if she's flirting with strange men at the gym. Men twice her boyfriend's age. Millenial men are weak as hell. I get more interested from women half my age than women in my own peer group. Maybe you should tell them not to be attracted.
I'm only talking about a physical relationship, not kids or marriage. I'm not getting married or having kids. Jesus. Look around you. All the parents I see are miserable and their lives are shit. I'm not going for that. I like my free time and money.
I find a lot of single mothers say: "I'm not looking for a daddy for my kids. They already have one. You don't have to pay for them or raise them."
Right lol
The kids are with the mother most of the time and They talk about "I dont Look for a father for my kid"
Bitch of course because the kid is always with you so the New boyfriend automaticcly has to play daddy
They so delusional
BigLBA1 as he should be he brought that child into the world equally his doing!
Many times the father wants out of the marriage...usually due to something superficial like the woman’s weight or she’s too tired for sex
@@you_a_noob8295 How is that superficial? If the woman has no interest in sleeping with her husband and doesn't care about her health and appearance, something is wrong.
my mate is like yeah well her kid is like 10 so hes abit older. like hes just gona go away
Definitely true on the sex part. When we were first dating it was 3 times a day, every day. Later on she told me that she was sore but didn't want to put out that perception early on. Still having lots of intimate time almost 9 years out.
how if there are kids around?
Worst mistake in my life so far.
Strange no one mentions that single mom's are good matches for guys who don't want their own kids.
Yea there are guys who dont want their own kids, but I cant see that same guy wanting to part ways with his money, time, efforts for some other douche bags sperm? If he doesnt want kids usually it's because he values his freedom and wants to live a particularly exciting life, not take some guys old family in so they can bankrupt him. Not his responsibility!!!
Rollo dropping some hard truth bombs lol.
Single Mom spread their cheeks must faster. Especially when the kids is at Dad's house.
saveonthe1 totally
lmfao..
On God himself!!
They date single moms because they were available in that moment. Single mothers tend to be more likely to approach a man and be more open to being approached because they know they have less options and are running out time before they hit the proverbial wall thus they make themselves more available especially the beta male provider types.
Well put
Thanks for this work brou!
This is so true.
been there done that...never again. not worth it
When I was young I married. 4 months after our son was born my ex husband started sleeping with other women. A year later when I found out about the infidelity, he ended up leaving me and abandoning our son, haven't seen him for 6 years now (his choosing). Take that as you will.
I have never had a hard time dating. Men, good men, have been attempting to be with me, some for years now. I feel like it was often wanting to come in and be the savior or a protector for me and my child.
I also feel like a lot of women in my position need help and jump back into a relationship with a man for that reason.
I've been really blessed as I have a really supportive family that has helped me when I needed it. I never had to run back into marriage, but let me tell you, I have faced *enormous* pressure from family because I did not remarry sooner. Some members of my family made it clear it was expected of me to find a man and take my burden off the family...
WOW, Donovan a very important point when it comes to the moms and mothers and when she introduces you to her kids. WOW!
Thanks Richard and all the lads! You guys rock
At around 3:00 he makes a great point about single mothers kids and trying to protect them from crazy mom.
Recently one of my cleaning girls brought over her 10 year old daughter, the kid was a real sweetheart and I felt so terrible that she's going to grow up without a father because her piece of s*** father is in prison and her mother is too dumb to raise her properly with a good father.
Her grandfather's have passed away so she has absolutely no male figure in her life.
At the end of the day when this single mother came back to the office from the job site with her 10 year old daughter, I gave her daughter a gift certificate to the Dairy Queen and I gave her a fresh cut rose from the rose gardens and while her mother was putting things away I had a chance to talk to her about school and what she's doing.
Later that night I thought to myself, my God that poor girl might never receive a flower again or understand how a girl is it to be treated because her mother will not have it that way for her.
You are a true gentleman
Involved with mother of 5 for 3 years. Lots of easy access sex and liked playing dad but when the negatives outweighed the positives I had to blow through.
easy access sex how when there are 5 kids in the house?
@@coryleblanc she came to mine those nights FFS 🤦♂️
Is that black guy locked-up in prison !!!!
Thanks for opening my eyes
Being a single mum lowers your SVM. Makes it possible for more average dudes to get a more attractive women. Simple as that.
I have a friend (well I barely see him now) who met his current single mom gf at a bar. He’s 36 she’s 45, with three kids. He’s helping her move and do renovations on her new house.. 😑
I have cousins who married single moms and divorced women with kids, all their kids are fucked up. Drugs, jail, rehab, prison, not worth it.
I know a guy who married a single mom that has 2 kids.(They only dated for 1 year prior to their marriage). Apparently the biological dad left her during the second pregnancy. He has never been located and believed to have left the country and living in Europe somewhere. Fast forward.... 6 months into their marriage she got pregnant...my buddy found out that he was xyx and can't have children....now he wants a divorce and she is threatening him with child support. This is in CA. We as men need to stop getting ourselves in situations like this..
Man. The game being passed here. Thanks gents, powerful!
The good ol days when the guys all got along.
What happened?
I really appreciate what y'all are doing. I call you guys the beta blockers. I'm beating the beta out of myself. Your conversations are helpful. Thank you!
I would date a single mother as long as she has the means to take care of the kid on her own comfortably, because that is not my kid at all.
I've watched a number of your videos and really appreciate the topics and perspectives from which they are addressed. I hear the men speaking from a place of experience and authenticity, which is awesome. I have difficulty however with how single mothers/mums are spoken of. Maybe I am misunderstanding something, or maybe your perspectives are based on statistics, but the generalizations are unfairly painting all of us- I am a single MUM- with the same broad stroke. My satisfaction is in being the best I can be, by pursuing my own goals self sufficiently. This is also the kind of man I want to be in partnership with. Respect is mutual.
“Rare exceptions don’t change a rule”....exceptions prove there is a rule.
Katte just sounds to me like you're justifying stereotypes, regardless of the statistical odds of accuracy. I could do the same with men, and women have....but the fact that I exist proves to me that without a doubt there are men who share my values. Which, shockingly, may not be what you are broadly implying them to be.
OF Ta_ne_zzyan I left him. After years of believing in loyalty and support I woke up to admit that he was very ill. I urged him to pursue a mental evaluation which he is in denial of. I have only thrived since the split. I took my own red pill. The satisfaction of autonomy and unlimited possibility is incomparable. I want a partnership that enhances this, not limits it.
OF Ta_ne_zzyan exceptions wouldn’t exist without rules, if there’s an exception there’s a rule. I wasn’t disagreeing with you, just adding to your statement. My intent was not meant to contradict.
Lillian Robertson what are you talking about?
Listen also to Tom leykis!!! That’s my father
I dated a single mother and currently dating one since the divorce for two reasons, 1: I'm a single father of 2 so they understand my situation. That my kids needs come first. 2: I am very introverted so I need very little from a relationship to be satisfied. I'm perfectly happy only going on a couple dates a month. I can't do clingy.
Ask any good psychologist how well that philosophy of "my kids come first" works for a relationship; it doesn't. Modern shrinks and psychologists have discovered that putting your significant other first builds a very healthy relationship and gives the children a very good example. Whereas when one puts the kids first, you're giving them a horrible example, and teaching them to be spoiled, self centered brats. Please research this yourself, because a lot of people get this wrong and destroy one relationship after another. Remember when you were a kid, and mom and dad would make each other first priority, they would make time for each other, spend time with each other, even if it meant sending you kids to a friend's house for a night, or just eloping in the living room in each other's arms, etc. Remember it never bothered you, and you got a good example, from your dad how to properly treat a lady, and from your mom how to properly treat a man (for your sisters). It's for this reason any psychologist that's any good will tell you to walk away from a woman that says she has kids and they come first. She's telling you you will not get any attention or bonding with her once the honey moon is over. She's also letting you know she doesn't understand adult relationships or how to be an adult. Remember, the kids exist because of you and her, (in a normal relationship where divorce didn't occur) your relationship doesn't exist because of the kids. I'm sorry to rant, but I'm sick and tired of this my kids come first teaching, it's very wrong and harmful to your relationship and harmful to the upbringing of the kids. And I want you and your kids to have success! God bless my friend
This is fascinating.
They are easy...plain and simple. Date them, sleep with them, just don't stay with them.
I've only had one fling with a single mom. We were both in our early 20's and (luckily for me) it was by far one of the best times of my life. All fun, no stress or drama. We met in college by pure chance through a mutual friend. She had her finances together as she had plenty of support from her family. She worked in the family business, had no debt and lived with her parents. There were zero issues in her life as far as her ex; he started a new life several states away. Her daughter was healthy so zero stress there either. Based on our circumstances, the conditions were perfect for enjoying ourselves without any extraneous bullshit. I was already planning to move far away so she was aware of it and agreed to a strictly FWB deal. It lasted 6 months and it was pure hedonistic bliss from beginning to end. She was always in good spirits, kind, generous and with a libido perfectly compatible with mine. This was back in 1993, small town in Latin America with none of the distractions and collective sources of social manipulation we have nowadays. More than 20yrs later, I look back with deep gratitude because I know that was something literally sent from heaven and a very rare find indeed. I literally got to live the Peter North life every single day for 6 months straight. Now 25yrs later it's a very different world and I would be very cautious with contemplating the possibility of dating a single mom. On top of screening for the same red flags you'd look for in single women with no kids, you'd have to also screen for:
Here's some deal breakers:
1. A psycho ex still involved in her life in any way, shape or form other than child support payments.
2. Children with issues: behavioral problems, health problems, psychiatric problems, etc.
3. Financial instability. She should be plenty capable to pay her kid's expenses. I don't have any kids of my own so I won't be paying for anyone else's. If I had kids, my resources should go to them and not some other dude's kids.
Horacio Montes yep congrats Peter North. Today there will be ex’s orbiting, money issues, discipline issues, child issues the list goes on.....
Indeed. That was a once in a billion years kind of thing and I look at it as such. These days, dating general has become a minefield from so many angles. Add someone else's kids to the mix and the risk/reward ratio is definitely not stacked in favor of us men.
If you get her pregnant you better hope and pray she's a good woman for you
For me, a single mom has a much lower MMV. Given that I am older and still want a family, a single (one child only) mom, looks like the best option. But not with an American woman. If raising another child is the price I have to pay for having children of my own, I'm okay with it.
There’s still women that are childless that want a relationship and perhaps for things to progress . You’re probably not looking in the right places .
Try
Libraries , coffee shops , some grocery stores, target, some gyms , universities ( preferably in the evenings for the grad students) just some suggestions :)
I guess you didn't understand the context. I'm older, old enough that many people tell me "you shouldn't even think about having children". Probably older than you. I'm just trying to find someone I can have a house full of kids with. I have no illusions about my market value, I'm tall, slender, make a good living, have a full head of hair, kind & caring, but I'm old.
You think that now, but you'll greatly regret it later. Ignore your thoughts, they're trying to screw you over. I've gone down that Rd, not worth it, not even a little bit.
And people wonder why I don’t date anymore
Army of Gog sorry it sounds like you had some bad experiences. I hope you find true love, for me I’m not sure I believe in it though
Lies
Massage Genie no seriously I don’t date anymore because I don’t believe in love. What’s your story?
I may have the agape love for friends and family but not the Eros type
I date here and there for entertainment and I have little use for women’s notion of love as it’s too inconsistent to ever be taken seriously by me. My story? Why is that relevant?
Because they are easy.
Rollo's words are so hard that i grown 1 year in 5 mins damn
Single mothers don't want a relationship. They just want help.
that ex i have been speaking over...nightmare leading...51 looks 36, good job, and has never had kids.....i see why i got suckered in for so long
SO agreeing with rollo
Why worry about having a gf or dating ...F dat live life to the fullest no need for drama or worries 😎
Donavon spitting mad truth
In the UK a single man finds it difficult to find a home. Where as women in the UK get handed homes when there with child. Here in the UK its about a roof over your head and to get a home is through a single mom.
Because there easy!
3:00. Protector instinct. Cost me 3 years.
Thanks guys, I really needed that reminder right now.
Back when i was i guess 10 i understood that people get together with other people and have children because they fear being alone and dying old and helpless (fun fact: it happens anyway).
So i wondered what'd i do in such situation and decidede that if things really gotten bad with age, i'd just blow my brains out if i'm too old and don't have anyone. simple as. but i will NOT trade 40 years of my life, money and personal peace for mitigating fear of dying alone if i don't find someone i genuinely want to spend my life with.
What about women that join the military because take that patriarchy.
I would not touch them; highest STD rate among them.
Desperate, broken men with little to no standing for themselves love gullible single mothers that’ll make it easy to have sex with. Sad I’ve had friends like this and never understood until I got wiser.
WOW, what an awesome interview here with all these smart red pillers,
Where is the rest of this interview, I'd love to hear Carl's breakdown on all the damning stats
Wow Carl is a genius 👏
Because they are desperate and have no self respect.
I agree with the earlier commenter. The numbers of beta males has to be bordering on 90-95%. Maybe it's finally shifting a little bit, slowly.
This is happening to me right now, the most passionate hottest sex, high notch count for her using dating apps, got me hooked, teenage kids have no respect whatsoever, daughter hates me because she wants all the attention from the mother, and now I've got onitis! Ex's as friends who's she's lied about, the father is in the background, she's 43, I'm 47 no kids. It's been a bloody Nightmare. Don't do it!!
Mother and mom are like saying house and home. On the surface they seem the same but thank about it and they’re completely different
Laws in the states are so wrong
Your telling me if you take on kids that are not yours and you marry the woman you are financially responsible for those kids after a break up?
Im from the UK and if the kid is not yours you don't pay maintenance
Only some states here have that law
I was born in Seattle in 1973, where I grew up. Japanese-American. Male. A typical nice guy, good guy, and a nerd. So, when I'm 25, all of these desirable women pass over good guys like me, and they get pregnant by, and sometimes even marry Chad and Tyrone. "Chad and Tyrone are SO much more manly, studly, fun, and exciting," they say. Then, Chad and Tyrone abuse them (which I DON'T condone). Chad and Tyrone leave them and the kids, and leave them hanging out to dry. THEN these single mothers want her and her kids to be "rescued." Who do they FINALLY go to, to rescue them? The Ichiros, the Takeshis, the Changs, the Joon Youngs, the Tuans, and the Khamphengs! (I am Japanese-American, so I can say these things). To my fellow Ichiros and Changs: If they won't take us in their prime, we should not take them in their decline!! (New bonus: For Asian women who pass over us Ichiros and Changs for being too nerdy, and not studly and masculine enough, I have names for THEM: Noriko and Michiko!) We Ichiros and Changs need to say, “The HELL with you, Noriko and Michiko!”
Why? Because it's easy tail thats why..