First Time Hearing Hi Ren by Ren | Suicide Survivor Reacts
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2024
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So many people, friends and my community here, recommended this song to me that I had to check it out. This is my reaction to my first time hearing Hi Ren by Ren. I love these types of narratives!
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Frankly, I'm not "handling" it at all. Shoot, myself, AND my spiritual sister inside me, are both not handling ourselves right now, the mind we both share, despite my best efforts to give her independence and agency years ago, unfortunately didn't work out as planned. Now, whether it's myself of my body physically, the hysterically broken mind is always a poisoning point, the preexisting madness will plague whomever is in control. I even paraphrase a line from a song by the metal band Lordi " the hatter is a loser, and he's my bitch" meaning to me, as, the character from Alice in wonderland, to me doesn't even know the meaning of madness, that tea swelling, mercury poisoned fool
@@christamichelleortloff2195 Christopher, while I have never been there, I sincerely hope your sides can find a way to coexist and move forward. While you perceive madness, the way you wrote and phrased your comment screams to me that you have something to offer the world. It was eloquent and poetic even while bleak and harsh.
I don't like the way you reference the "shadow" in a negative light. The "shadow" in Jungian psychology is an integral part of becoming the whole. We incorporate the shadow as a way of being able to face lifes problems.
Look at a kid who is bullied and nothing is working for them, they may need to incorporate that "shadow" or part of them that fantasises about violence and that they believe is wrong.... to protect themselves. Incorporate your shadow and then learn to control it like a dog on a lead.
I have been dealing with mental health issues (Major Clinical Depression, Bipolar Disorder, and Unspecified Mood Disorder), in addition to various chronic physical issues, for more than 25 years now. My mental health cost me a successful military career, a marriage, and friendships to the point that I have become a total recluse for the past 13 years. Very rarely do I interact with others. My condition was brought on by prolonged exposure to low-dose sarin nerve gas and experimental vaccines and meds during the Gulf War. A few years later, the now black-boxed use of the anti-malarial "Mefloquine" pushed me over the edge and I experienced psychosis. For over 15 years, I was prescribed a cocktail of max doses of psychotropics until I decided to carefully wean myself off all medications in 2014. The side effects of the drugs were too many and too severe, and the benefits were negligible. I still struggle with my mental health daily, but I rather feel pain than nothing at all. I entirely rely on God for my daily strength; without him, I would have "checked out" a long time ago. I appreciate your efforts to help those in need. God bless you.
Hey glad you watched this
I know Ren doesn't care about the BS industry, but he deserves every accolade and industry wide recognition for Hi Ren. Seriously, this should be song of the year, video of the year, mental health awareness campaign of the year, and more. Calling on all Ren fans - let's make this happen. Download everywhere, share everywhere, lobby everywhere. Salute. Peace.
Then he can show the Grammy to Mephistopheles, pinch his immortal nose and say neener neener.
Fuck that his accolades comes in the lives he touches and people he may save. There isn't a single award that will equate that
Couldn’t agree more
i honestly hope this blows up world wide, will roar for this bro
When you say BS industry I think of every government in the world including the royal families and so called elites. F%@ them all!!!!!
Retired Army sniper... I was having a dark day, I appreciate your post and thoughts both, thank you, I needed this.
Thank you for your service.
@@romanjohnston Thank you
Thanks for your service :)
I'm an intense metalhead. I have a very deep passion for it. But I was seeing this video reacted to by so many who listen to my style of music that I finally caved in after a week.
I was freakin floored!!!!! Tears still roll down my face every time I watch this video. Brings me back almost 6 years ago when I tried to take my own life. I thought I had lost everything I've worked for, pushed so hard for, gave it everything I had. And I felt I had nothing left no matter what I did. My bipolar depression was taking control of me. Which is where I believe I connect with this video. Both sides taking their opportunity to speak, battling one another. It's a very powerful song.
I have an 11 year old son who we feel is going through depression and anxiety. So a few nights ago I had him watch this. While my 8 year old daughter was curious enough to ask questions, I noticed my son turn around with a few tears in his eyes as I answered my daughter's questions.
I really want him to know he can come spill his guts to daddy if he has anything he needs to get off his chest. I've expressed to him how harmful it can be to hold it all inside. I just hope he follows up.
I'm glad you're still here and around for yourself and your kids.
I tought i am the only grown man who drop tears from him.
I cry every time. And I hope nothing but the best for you and your boy and girl! Best of luck
Same, I tear up everything. I've been listening to it for months. While dealing with the same stuff he's singing about. I wish you all and you and your kids well.
Big l❤ man xx
Between just watching the video itself, and watching all of the dozens of different reaction videos about it, I've probably seen this song on CZcams 30 or 40 times now. I say without ego, and as humbly as I can, that after all these times it still makes me cry every time I watch it. As he stands up out of the chair is when it usually starts, and it hits me so hard it knocks the wind out of me. I believe that anyone who's truly lived it, will feel the same resonance with this song that I have. And I have by no means had anywhere near the struggles that this person or many of you may have had but the battle of light and dark, that duality, is in each of us and I feel truly grateful to have seen this.
Same ,I hear you and I feel you
Same here.. i even cried reading your comment at the line "As he stands up..." it hits so hard.. every time.
Me too. Taking so much pleasure watching people see it. It almost spiritual. I have a huge smile but also tears rolling.. I struggled with ocd 30 years. It hits home more than anything
I was afraid I was going to deep into these reactions, but honestly, I'll stop watching when it stops making me cry. I don't think that's any time soon.
Dude. Came here to say exactly this. I’ve watched this video and so many reactions to it now. Dozens and dozens of times. I still ugly cry. Every. Single. Time. It hits so hard and so deep and resonates so strongly somewhere in the very pit of my soul. I don’t even like hip hop as a rule. But this song, this artist, is something completely different. And I cannot sing his praises enough. ❤
Like many others just can't stop listening to this song, the line "Some people know me as the voice that you hear when you loosen the nooze of the rope"...oh lord, that gets me every single time
Every. Single. Time. 💜
This man is a legend. I would do literally everything to hear this song for the first time again. Since I found it 1 or 2 weeks ago I haven’t listen to any other song than this
Same 🧡
I go looking for first time reactions daily to get that feeling again vicariously, and to make sure new people know where to go for more.
Yes exactly
I have never stopped and told myself, just stop doing everything else and experience this... until the the first time I was watching Ren's music video
Different from the usual junk, he is special.
There are other artists that reach into your soul, Aurora, Angelina Jordan, Floor Jansen, to start with.
As others have pointed out, Ren's "Tale of Jenny and Screech (full)" (aka The Trilogy) is a must-watch. "Sick Boi", which dropped yesterday, is, in its way, a follow-up to "Hi Ren"; it's VERY different, stylistically, but absolutely as impactful
Other on-topic tracks I'd _highly_ recommend are Chalk Outlines, How To Be Me, Everybody Drops, Depression, and "Ren ft. Molly McKinna - Penitence"
@@DocHogan Dont forget HOLD ON and Do you Believe
@tinymusikcodottv-Musikverse99 I mean... just recommend EVERYTHING, really.... is a never- ending rabbit hole with ZERO wrong turns or dead ends ;) So much of his work deals with his battle with Lyme's Disease, misdiagnosis, his childhood psychoses and mpd, etc.
There are no bad choices, here, the ones I listed were just the ones I found most directly impactful within context
@@DocHogan Very true, Also being in your bedroom sick for all that time. your mind starts seeing the world as it truly is through all the research he did and not through just seeing news channels.. once you see a lot of truths that most people don't understand because they are worshipping mega stars and presidents you can write about it and put music to amazing lyrics and that is what happened. Sickness can and will cause mental illness. Ren is going to tell a lot of truths in his upcoming songs about a lot of different things he sees as wrong with the world and as he wants to fix his illness he also wants to fix humanity, The world to make a better humanity for all humans !!! I belive he will change so many human's way of thinking in the next few months. he has already changed so many. he knows that the hate they creat is fake!!
Absolutely a must listen
This song hit me really hard, I've been listening to it non stop for a week now. One think I've been noticing lately is how the debate escalates throughout the song. In the beginning, he talks about how he's been gone for a while. He's calm, he's confident, he's in a good place because he hasn't been dealing with his shadow for a while. As the song continues, his shadow picks at him more and more and you can see him get rattled more and more. Everyone's shadow knows what to say and how to say it because it IS them. Eventually, it turns into a relentless argument that Ren isn't going to win, his shadow will always win that argument because that's where it thrives. Once his shadow sees that he's broken him back down, he reminds him that his shadow is pure evil and he will never be gone. Like most evil, this was the shadow's downfall. It reminded Ren that it's not going to go away and arguing with it will not help, it will only make it worse for Ren. It told Ren that he was MENT to be tested and twisted, broken and beat, and just like the night has dawn, it's His plan for him to stand on his own two feet in the face of his shadow. When he learns to stands up to the shadow, it will cower at the man he's become (my favorite line in the song). He's going to prosper because he stands there beside him. We can't argue with our shadow, that doesn't work, like you said, you need to learn to stand up to it if you want to prosper. This man is pure genius.
I love the fact than ren did that live. You can see him unplugging his guitar and taking the mic off his clothes at the end. A true genius
He was in the comments during his latest release Sick Boi on Thursday night. He said Ho REN was live but this was the 4th take. He is the one take king.
In one FREAKIN take !!!
@@jw1289 holy shit. Thats mad
You can see by the camera angles there was definately more than one take. After they take the camera off rhe tripod it will switch to the center view and start to zoom out. Instantly it goes to close-up and starts to zoom out again. There had to have been a break or more than one take to do that. Also the hand-held cameraman needs to back away when the view is switched to the center. Unless they had 5 perfectly placed cameras on tripods and an invisible drone for the hand-held closeups, I would have to say it's a compilation of a minimum of 2 takes. I saw another post where someone said 4... That I believe.
@@robbiepaulmusic that is as easy as having multiple cameras filming as he gets one continuous audio of the song & then stiching them together after hun. Still counts as one take.
I love how the first line he sings is “Cower at the man I become, when I sing at the top of my lungs”. It’s such a meta lyric, in a work filled with meta lyrics.
My favorite line is the part where he wants to “I’ll stand in your fire and inspire the weak to be strong”. This song has helped me in ways it’s difficult to explain. Loved the reaction and subbed
"This is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen."
I felt that in my soul. Idk how many times I've watched this, I still get goosebumps when he rises from that chair. This is the power of art.
This is one reaction out of the hundreds out there that I wish Ren would find. Its so real. Your expressions from total surprise to annoyed to a most incredible smile personify this incredible piece of art way better than any other reaction I've seen. Love your channel, you make a difference and many of us relate.
Ren is a legend. His music is so raw and real and in glad you found him. There are so many of his songs I would suggest, but you should probably start with his trilogy Jenny's tale, screeches tale, and violets tale. Enjoy the rabbit hole 😁👍
I'm an avid metal/deathcore listener but discovering Ren through this song a few weeks ago hit me very hard and its a musical masterpiece imo. I'm a ambivalent ENFP/enneagram 4 with LLI (Low Latent Inhibition), I don't think I've ever found an artist I relate to more than Ren. I never had autoimmunity but I deeply understand that struggle. I developed an archetype for my shadow/inferior side and I've been able to make peace with it, integrating it in a way thats beneficial. I believe it will always be a work in progress but I also think that's a good thing because it keeps me sharp and eager to learn and strive to be better.
Also I might be off here but what Ren does in his performances is a form of mental shapeshifting. Being able to snap quickly from one side to the other, its not simply acting but a controlled shift in personality. I can do a similar thing which works extremely well when I karaoke metal songs and in being a haunt actor. 🤷♂️😅 If you read this far, thank you and have a great day!
I have to say, out of all the reactions to "Hi Ren", yours is the most... expressive? It's clear that the story resonates with you intensely.
Great video!
Since you asked to share our stories, I often face self-doubt as well, paradoxically because of nothing bad ever happening to me, my life is fine, I'm stable mentally, I'm healthy physically, I've never faced any tragedies or traumas, and yet I struggle with my self-esteem, Ren's songs give me hope and faith that it is okay to struggle. Amazing
Ren’s collaboration with Chinchilla called Chalk Outlines is another one that is so impactful and also about how hard it is to emerge from depression and how hard it is to embrace hope. It’s beautiful. This one in particular czcams.com/video/35yALr_opeg/video.html
I agree, Chalk Outlines is an important one for the health community in general. My issues have been more medically related but there are so many lines in it that speak to me as well. I'd like to make sure this song gets out there too.
Yes, chalk outlines is beautiful and so moving
If you like that then they also did a song together called How to be Me.
It's for the Semi-Colon project and there's a verse in there that talks about a friend of Ren's that unfortunately lost his battle.
That song impacts me even more.
"The fact that these stories are so similar is what makes sharing them so effective, because it highlights the fact that it's something experienced by a significant portion of the population." Damn that pretty insightful too. Thank you for that. Excellent reaction.
This comment should have more likes!!!
This song and the reactions have been like nectar to a bee for me recently. I don't have a terrible story, just an average one. Everything in my life dissolved a few years ago, I didn't sleep for weeks, I was alone and broken inside. My thoughts were very dark and some bad actions accompanied them, alone in the pit with no ladder and no light.
I was sat at traffic lights in a car, near twilight in the pouring rain, bad light, congestion, steamy windows, mind churning when a thought floated to the surface.
If I can feel this bad then I can still feel, that's good, I'm not broken. From that moment on I stood up and started to walk into my future.
And that future is a good place, a really good place.
Thank you for your reaction and sharing your journey.
Check out The Big Push, Ren busking, some amazing music.
I'm happy that you've found the future you deserve!
I love that you checked this out. I just recently discovered Ren through this song, and I truly believe it's one of, if not the most, important work of art for this time. Ren is a real-life hero 🧡
Cool name bro.😁
@@seanmurphy637 Back at you, brother!
I've dealt with what Ren has, auto immune disorder and severe depression. This song breaks my heart because I understand it.
I absolutely LOVED your reaction! I like to think the beginning "oh oh oh oh oh" part is part of his eternal dance, first you are bewildered, scared, afraid, confused. Then by the end after better understanding his story he continues his eternal dance but this time you are smiling and feeling good. Two sides of the same coin, constantly swaying like a pendulum back and forth.
i also love the fact he doesn't hit the last note, like he's telling us that the dance never ends.
Ren himself will respond to this if he already hasn't - he is so keyed in to how much this is affecting people - i can't listen without crying from commiseration and from the joy of him overcoming
Thanks for reacting to this song. Ren just got to Canada for treatment's, a couple times a week & could be there for up to 6mo's... but he brilliantly pre-recorded song's/vid's & will be releasing them in due time. Thanks for reacting to this. Stay awesome, man. Stay healthy. He's gonna love your reaction.
Also... he literally visualized his lyrics. Tiny light in the back casting a darker shadow in front of the brightest light showing lightest shadow. Him being sickly/stiff, then loosening up. Standing (growing) & fluidly moving about in full expression while his feet stay planted.
The shadows were cast by 2 spotlights on the ceiling out of the camera view. You can see them in the hand-held camera. Yes they were ingeniously placed so the shadow from the spotlight on the left was washed out from the spotlight on the right. The two blinking lamps were too weak to cast any significant shadows. If they were any brighter they would have interfered with the cameras. Somebody really knew their shit about lighting there.
I love seeing Ren get the love he deserves. Sickboi is a stylistically different song, but I think you'll resonate with the message in that one too.
If you like the guitar based storytelling, his Tale of Jenny & Screech (full version) is a must watch.
This is a tough one.... Even after a couple weeks now I still break down in tears when I listen to this or even watch the reactions of somebody that has been down the road a time or two. I still feel what he is saying and still feel those sleepless nights of internal dialogue and thought-loops. Even now I still avoid ever letting this one play while I am at the gym, especially if I don't have sunglasses.
After the third time thru I now tear up each time
This song struck so close to home for me, like Ren, I was misdiagnosed at a young age (When it was still treatable). It wasn't till much later in life at the age of 48 I was finally properly diagnosed with a rare form of a genetic disease, unfortunately to late for treatment or mitigation. As a result I've had two hip implants, Ulcers, severe Osteo Arthritis in all of my major joints, can only ambulate with a walker at the age of 57. Having been homebound for the last decade and isolated, of course my mental health has suffered along with my physical struggle. I connected to this song and it's message, leaving me both in shambles and relieved at the same time emotionally. His conveyance of the inner dialogue and the struggle within, so on point and so very relatable. Yes Ren, you are also known as "Hope", your song gave me back hope and has helped me tremendously.
You are an inspiration. I’m sorry for all you’ve been through, and I am humbled by your honesty and your struggles. Sending love and peace.
What I know about this video/song since I watched and shared it, then went down the Ren rabbit hole, then watched a load of reactions, is that there are a lot of people out there who are more than just impressed with him, but have actually confronted their own mental health in a way they haven't previously. It has changed my life and it has changed the life of my best friend. I have zero doubt that this has affected thousands of people as deeply as any therapy or medication has. The man is borderline messiah for the subject. Thanks for your addition to the growing voices of support. Show him some love as he is currently undergoing a 6+month treatment regime away from his home.
Great reaction and commentary. I only recently learned about Ren and have gone down this rabbit hole ever since. Many of the experiences and emotions expressed in his songs touch me on a very personal level because I can relate to and identify with his struggles.
A little background on Ren that I gathered from the internet. Ren pursued a career in music from an early age. In 2009, while studying music performance at Bath Spa University, he began to experience health issues and was struggling to attend his lectures. In 2010, he was signed by Sony Records and was working on an album when his health deteriorated to the point where he was unable to continue. His illness often kept him in bed for up to 23 hours a day. Ren was initially diagnosed with depression, bipolar disorder, and chronic fatigue syndrome. It would take seven years before he was finally diagnosed correctly with autoimmunity, Lyme disease, and brain damage. Ren eventually underwent stem cell therapy in the United States, which improved his health, but it has not been a cure. He is currently in Canada for more treatments.
Ren is an incredible and unique artist; he plays multiple instruments, has great vocal ability, is an excellent storyteller, and is quite the philosopher and poet. From what I read, his videos are shot live, all in one take by his friend. I recommend you check out some of his other work. The trilogy "The Tale of Jenny/Screech/Violet" is haunting and has an unexpected ending; WATCH THEM IN THE STATED ORDER, as this is the flow of the storyline or just watch “The Tale of Jenny & Screech (Full)” which includes “Violet’s Tale at the end. It is another example of Ren’s genius and a master’s class in storytelling.
His song "Money Game" (Part I & II) is another recommendation. If you like his personal reflections, they are threaded through many of his songs; "Insomnia," "Depression," “Diazepam," “Penitence,” “Dear God,” “Heretic,” “Dominos,” his "Freckled Angels" album, just to name a few, all deserve a listen. As a solo act, Ren performs a range of genres, much of it hip-hop/rap influenced, as well as guitar-based ballads.
His collaborations with Sam Tompkins (“Blind Eyed,” “Earned it /Mans World / Falling”), with Chinchilla (“How to Be Me,” “Chalk Outlines”), with Eden Nash (“Humble,” “Ocean”), with Bibi (“Crutch,” “Ahiahiaoha”), with Molly McKinna (“Penitence”), with his former band mate, Romain Axisa (“French Song”) and any of his performances as a member of the band "The Big Push" (which unfortunately broke up) are awesome and well worth checking out, both the busking (street performances) and their live recordings. Ren has impressive vocal and instrumental skills. He is one-of-a-kind and appears mature beyond his years.
Ren released just his latest single, “Sick Boi.” In anticipation of his stay in Canada for more treatments, Ren prepared some music ahead of time to be released over the next 3-6 months that he expects to be gone.
Thank you for your time writing this up.
Check out his track called Crutch with his ex gf who was there with him when he became ill. Just found it in the last couple days and I’ve been mesmerized listening on repeat ever since.
@@ED-007 I did watch it just the other day and left a comment for Ren. It is a powerful song, and the video is beautifully haunting and sad. It is another song that speaks to me personally. I have it on various Spotify playlists and listen to it several times a day..
Keep seeing you on all the reaction videos Jen.💙🇬🇧👍🙏
The fact that this song connects with so many people shows what a talented songwriter and performer Ren is, and it also shows how many people struggle with their own internal battles, at least to some degree. No one is alone. We're in this together. Let's be nice to each other. Edit: I like what you said about using your shadow for good. I use my "dark energy" to drive me when walking or running on the hills, and when cycling. I think it's very important to have a constructive outlet for it and I'm so, so relieved that I found one, i.e. exercise.
Yep, exercise as the exorcist.
Many reactors don't catch what's happening until Ren switches voices. It gave me chills all over again how you instantly knew the dark voice of his shadow!
Another YT reactor said "Ren is a Wormhole, I need to deep dive this guy" and that's exactly it - I, like thousands of his Community (for that is what his presence has created amongst his followers), see him with one performance and automatically we feel compelled to deep dive and watch everything he has produced- and each piece is so unique, a surprise, covering a multitude of genres brilliantly. He's a lyrical and performance genius (his solo piano playing is exquisite) who truly captivates his audience and draws them into his world, yet so authentic and humble. His Reach is two- pronged I feel: those who simply enjoy and appreciate his musical and performance genius; and those who resonate with parts of his story as he articulates our own pain and struggles, our own battles of Darkness and Light. Imo, he's a celestial being, an Earth Angel, a born Warrior of Light and is now stepping into his Power and breathing life and blood into his wings to shine his Light of hope, inspiration and validation through the myriad of gifts and talents he has, and with this piece in particular has created a Portal for so many others now to feel safer to step into and express and expose themselves, their perfections and imperfections, their mental health struggles and demons that is normally so stigmatised and deeply misunderstood by those who've not experienced it. I'm so glad for him this deeply personal, vulnerable masterpiece is now giving him the reach and spotlight he deserves - he's worked so hard for it -"Renlentessly" - for so long whilst still battling ill health. He really will continue to rise in the songs that he leaves behind, I have no doubt.
I recommend checking out Insomnia, Depression and Chalk Outlines for your channel next
I’ve seen about a million reactionvideos to this by now, and this is by far the one I’ve enjoyed the most. You clearly know what he’s talking about, and it’s so visible that the words hit you in a place you may have been (if that makes sense). Others just scream «WOW» or «OMG» for dramatic purposes, but you reacting with your face instead felt so much more real. Good job in showing that wordless storytelling can be just as, or more, powerful! Show. Don’t tell.
As a psychiatric nurse, I’m gonna force Hi Ren on the psychiatrists and psychologists at the ward I work at. They (who are the ones who really should) often havent’t once mentalised how it must be to be a patient, how it must be to struggle. If this can’t educate them, nothing will.
Amanda's face says more than mere words
He just released a new track Sick Boi, which is very different, but equally as powerful.
Ren is currently in Canada receiving further treatment for his illness (he was miss diagnosed with Lyme disease for almost five years).
You might appreciate that too. I am 52 & a sufferer of anxiety depression & Tourette (motor ticks), Ren’s music (& this song in particular) has had a profound effect on me recently & I’m grateful for it.
me too and ME CFS -causes lots of brain issues- dealing for 30 years with that and dysphagia caused by the brain damage- ren is wonderful- true artist
Every time it gets to the part where he tries to bottle up Shadow, causing its eruption... the apotheosis and catharsis ... chills and blubbering each and every time
Same here, very eloquently put.
Same
This man is a living legend that needs to be heard. The way he expresses what so many of us feel is a talent that should be celebrated… love you brother, hope you see the love there is out there for you. You deserve more recognition than you are getting in my opinion, hope some day soon it comes your way and you see you are more than you will ever know. Peace brother!
I’m a grown man and made me tear up and do everytime I watch it he is different then anyone I’ve ever heard plus his messages hit me deeply
I've seen this pop up all over my CZcams channel and didn't click on it until you came up. Having discovered your channel and heard the way you take certain songs and give a positive commentary in regards to mental health I knew this song needed me to hear it and thanks to you I'm better for having done so. Much love to you and yours!
I watched it on one of my Reactors channel. Since then I been requesting it a lot on other channels I watch. 🤗
I adore Ren, and I'm about 2 weeks into reaction videos on him. What a beautifully clear and positive reaction you gave. There's always more than meets the eye to any individual, and the affect that Ren has on so many levels, to a huge audience, says alot about this wonderfully creative and compassionate person. Thankyou for this, I'm subbed ❤
Thank you for your comment and response to my reaction!
Your reaction is amazing. I felt all of that. I love that Ren hasn't bound himself to one genre. That puts him in a league of his own. He hits any genre he's feeling. I think this is peak artistry. He's not molded to one thing. He just does what he feels at the time, and it allows him to release constant bangers, because he doesn't have to force himself to come up with rap, rock, etc. He can just float across them all. That's such an incredible talent.
hii,these are Rens own words...
In 2016 I had a stem cell transplant that saved my life, this video was taken two year before that. After the transplant I decided to force my past into a little box and hide it from myself. I wouldn't ever watch this video back. There has always been a part of me that's terrified that I'll end up back here and loose myself again. That part of me always gets loudest when I'm on my own with my thoughts.
When I got better and my music started becoming successful after years of never thinking it would be possible I almost treated it as a reincarnation. I'd barley talk about where I'd come from with friends, but despite my best efforts my past usually found a way to leak into my music.
Here I was convinced I was going to die. I was severely underweight, I had severe bone pain every day, I could barley eat food, I suffered extreme fatigue to the point even standing in a shower was excruciating. I ended up in a state of stress induced psychosis, my minds only rational explanation for the level of suffering I was enduring was that it was some kind of demonic intervention or that i was part of some twisted experiment or study. This had been my life for years. I'd bounced from doctor to doctor full of hope only to have my heart repeatedly stamped on when my condition only worsened.
Cut to present day and PTSD from years of my body torturing itself stopped me from doing work that I think is vital. Shedding light on a very under-lit , underfunded, and barley understood area. The plight of the chronically sick. Millions of people all over the world are missing. Trapped inside themselves. Conditions like ME/CFS, ehlers danlos syndrome, POTS, MCAS, lyme disease, M.S. etc. Receive such little funding. To put the lack of funding into perspective, male pattern receives over one thousand times the funding than many of these chronic illnesses do combined. Recent studies found the quality of life of a person with chronic M.E. was significantly worse than someone with HIV or breast cancer. M.E. is currently one of the most underfunded disease at the national institute of health.
I was one of the exceptionally few very lucky people to escape before I died after receiving a stem cell transplant and finding a hugely restrictive diet that stopped my autoimmunity flaring to the point where it was disabling but I still suffer a wide array of symptoms every day.
To dive deeper into living up to the words of the late and great Nina Simone, who has for a long time been a great source of inspiration for me, I wanted my next piece of work to fearlessly stare my past in the face despite the trauma of doing so.
mk57...)))
I've watched at least 10 of these reaction blogs on this amazing masterpiece by Ren.
Your reaction Amanda was far more sincere than any of the others. Because you could feel his struggle throughout each line and verse, and this song/story has been made to do exactly that.
If this song helps people in their personal fight for peace, then that's a good thing. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Thank you for sharing this amazing reaction. Your expression of shock and empathy and understanding were breathtaking and powerful. I felt like you were broadcasting my emotions in perfect synchronization
I discovered this song when there were only 500 views and it has now grown into something that everyone is listening to. Being labeled with depression for my nearly 60 years, life has been a very dark place for much of that time, and this song hit home from the moment I heard it. Since then, I've probably watched 200+ reactions and I have to say, yours has been my favourite so far. Your anger at "the shadow" (as you call it) was obvious, and your love for the struggling side beautiful. So many of the lyrics in this song make me feel how far I have come. I actually still have a rope attached to my bed frame for when I was ready to jump from my window. It's no longer there for that reason, but a reminder that I don't need it anymore. I've had vast amounts of therapy, emdr, medications of every kind. I am now drug free and feeling the best I have ever felt, having spiritual healing and learning that life is very precious. Thank you for your reaction 😊
I love Ren. He doesn't just have mental health problems (errr, me too?) but also serious physical health problems (errr, me too) and he just powers on. Triumph of mind over matter. 💗
I really appreciated your reaction to this. Learning how to dance with our darkness is a lifelong journey and it does help to know that there are others trying to do the same dance, even if we're listening to different music.
I discovered Ren last week (no, I don't live in another planet 😊) and I watch a lot of reaction videos.
Apart from your reactions, which show what you've been through, I'd like to thank you because you've opened the door to a subject I didn't know about and which I'm going to study: Imposter syndrome.
I've always been out of step with people. Not thinking like them and not analyzing situations like them. This gap was accentuated when I was introduced to strategic thinking, which consists of - on a given subject over a defined period of time - imagining all possible situations in order to take the time to think about the best action/solution/decision... and its consequences for each of them. This minimizes the risk of error due to decisions taken in a hurry.
But it also had a double negative effect: first, people didn't believe in it. But secondly, I found myself with the following discrepancy: The present for you is the past for me. The future for you is the present for me.
The phrase I can't stand hearing any more is: I should have listened to you, you were right.
That's why, for me, this battle doesn't exist. I call it the thinking me and the acting me. And you can't have one without the other (I often criticize people who act and think afterwards). What I've found is that there are these 2 entities, but only one cockpit. And they take turns. There comes a time when I'm fed up with the thinking me. And the acting me takes over. And vice versa.
Whether it's in your mind, in your professional life, in your relationships, in your love life... the hardest thing is to find the balance. But what's even harder is keeping it.
And that's what you have to focus on.
Lately I've taken to watching lots of reactions to Hi Ren. It is usual to watch minds blown. This is the first time I've seen a heart burst in joy 🥰 Go get him girl... you know you want to! 😄
Many multiple time survivor here, doing much better these days, and so glad you’re doing this much needed work on your channel. This song hits me hard. I get chills, I cry, I feel like he reached into my mind, my heart, and my soul, and pulled out every word of this song. In the end, the main thing I take away from it is HOPE. I hope everyone out there gets what they need from this performance bc every little bit helps. He gets it. He absolutely gets it bc he’s been there, too, and that helps me feel so much less alone. Thank you for doing this. Everyone out there: you are worthy. Please remember that you matter, even when you feel you don’t. Please reach out when you need to, even if it’s to a stranger, and, more importantly, even if you don’t want to, bc you ARE worthy. I wish you all peace and healing and hope and love.
Great react.
I think you are going to like Ren - The Tale of Jenny & Screech (full)
As I said though, it needs to be on a strong day to help balance the darkness of the song.
I don't think "like" is the word you're looking for here, but... yeah, HIGHLY recommended. Just... be prepared to be kicked in the teeth. With a brick.
@@DocHogan,i'm sorry if my choice of words was not the most appropriate.
I used the word "like" because ren is a fantastic storyteller. In my opinion a urban day shakespearean.
@kontactbox it was fine :) The 'Trilogy' _is_ hard to 'like', as in 'enjoy', but it is a must watch, it is engaging and captivating, and another incredible work of Art.
Sick Boi (Ren is suffering from Lime Disease) is the next to check out or rather I would recommend. Kinda part two or a prequel to this. I just found this dude a couple days ago along with many others due to the much deserved hype. Absolutely my favorite "new" artist instantly. There is rabbit whole to go down with this one for sure , enjoy the journey. Subbed.
It can be interpreted in many ways. For me it's reminds me of my struggle with addiction.
This song is pretty impactful, I've listened to it now many many many times and each time It still hits me, deep, right In the feels.
Yep… that line at the start “not your place to be biting off the hand that feeds me!” Is the voice telling you to score for sure. I felt that anyway.
This has to be one of my favorite reaction videos to "Hi Ren" that I've watched. Because we could see you cringe at evil Ren, and smile and feel hopeful at good Ren. This is a musical and visual representation of a battle that many of us struggle with every day.
Appreciate your input! It’s interesting you pointed out that it’s important to recognize your depression as a separate entity. That’s part of the reason why psilocybin and mdma treatments work in a therapy setting, because it dissolves your ego and allows you to confront that entity (depression, anxiety, addiction, etc.), and kick it in the throat!
I have seen lots of reactions to this video and you are the first to show any reaction to the part about students. Every one else just glose over that. Through my own struggle with PTSD and not getting help for it I made my own son a student of my mental illness and now he is struggling.
My son has ADHD and I have BPD. Sure, we deal with unique challenges, but I also have the opportunity to teach him all of the skills and wisdom that I didn't learn until later in life. We can teach them how to react to difficult situations and emotions, thus giving them an edge with resilience!
That last part of oohh with the flickering lights was his acceptance of the shadow and living in harmony, IMO.
This is an INCREDIBLE reaction.
It is been a blessing to follow Ren over the last several years! He is like the Phoenix Rising From the Ashes! To see his recovery is totally inspiring besides the fact he is one of the most talented Minstrel musician Poets of our time!🌿💔
Ren is amazing , i have seen him busking in brighton a couple of times, and he is one of my favourite artists , this song is so powerful.
There are so many things that hits home in this song and Ren has helped me to make certain distinctions in my thought processes. In my day to day life it's: "You should be so lucky! Having me inside you to guide you, to manage expectations, provide you perspective". That's one that keeps you from trying to get better and easily the most destructive one that I'm sure everybody whether they are suffering from depression or not gets in their head every single day. We all doubt ourselves and this is what makes us feel like a failure when we try and fail. I don't need that negativity to manage my expectations. I am reminded of this line every day and Ren has helped me to "identify" where it comes from.
The one that hits me the hardest is "Some people know me as the voice that you hear when you loosen the noose on the rope". I never thought of it like that before this for some reason. Your mind convincing you to NOT do it. It's a good voice. I might not be prospering but I'm still standing beside you today.
What I have learned on my own is that "Your story is not unique enough to share or suffer from" isn't a valid thing to say. Mental health isn't a competition over who has it worse. If something causes YOU anguish it's real. What you suffer from might be something I'd brush off as if it was nothing and vice versa. I've had family end their lives over things I find trivial. But it was real enough for them to want out and that's all that matters.
Really enjoyed the breakdown on this masterpiece performance! I think you would really enjoy The Tale of Jenny and Screech by Ren. He released a full version with all three parts, Jenny, Screech and finally Violet. Looking forward to your reaction!
My wife committed suicide in 2009. We had 2 daughters together, they were 8 and 6 yrs old at the time. I raised them by myself as a single father. I've never remarried nor had serious relationships. I always felt guilty to love another woman, so I didn't. I've had these fights in my head for years now. My kids were always more important than me finding someone else. I just didn't want them to ever feel like I was replacing their mother. So I didn't. They're now grown and gone and I'm a grandfather at 41 yrs old. I am now pursuing my dreams of becoming a successful musician. This song, helps me stay determined.
I'm sorry for the loss for you and your daughters. Please feel free to share your memories of your wife here so we can help keep her spirit alive. I'm proud of you for pursuing your dreams. But if love DOES come your way, you deserve that. If it were me on the other side, I'd want my partner to be happy.
Man you're better than I am, I cried like a fucking baby the first few times I watched this video
I never know what songs/videos will have my bawling!
Such great advice from a survivor, well done. REN is so in tune with this world and it’s effects on so many of us
I just recently found Ren myself, and the more I dive in to his music the more of his genius I discover. Highly recommend checking out The Tale of Jenny and Screech. It's one that after you hear the tales, you see twice as much going back through it.
I loved how you mentioned learning to live with your shadow rather than trying to kill or banish it, just before Ren went on to talk about the dance he had to learn to relax for and stop struggling again. Excellent insight into exactly what the artist was portraying.
I think the most powerful part of this video is where Ren talks about the struggle being a dance. As he states, there are no winners, and there are no losers in physiological warfare. It is not a battle to "win". You have to accept that the condition exists, and learn to navigate WITH the condition, not try to get rid of it. I have family members that struggle with Bipolar disorder, anxiety, autism, etc. It will never be "gone" but it can be managed. The most effective "pills" you can take, are the people around you.
I suffered / suffer from an autoimmune disorder. I spent months in a hospital.The depression is real. I couldn't do anything for myself. I just laid there wondering when or if I would get better. One day the nurse asked me if I wanted to door left open. I said yes. One night, A young man walked by with a special walker. Modified to accept his injuries. He had a walking cast, one arm in a cast that went into a body cast. His head was heavily bandaged. He wore a helmet. Every night he walked by. Maybe an hour every night. He did not move fast, but he was steady. I watch the determination on his face. I felt so bad for him. I prayed that he be given the strength to heal. About 3 days later, I could suddenly move my arms again. I could feed myself. A week later I could walk with a walker. My spirits improved. I now saw an end date. I felt I was going to finally get to go home. This young man gave me strength and courage to face my illness. I was being fitted one day by my therapist for a wheel chair. I looked her in the eye and told her,NO. I do t want a wheel chair. I wanted to walk out. She told me I was being released on Friday, and I could not walk yet. I told her maybe we needed to.work on that instead of a stupid wheel chair. Well I did walk out, with a walker. Of course even if you can run, they wheel you out in a chair. So inspiration can come from anywhere or anyone. I walked into my home. I can now walk a fe we miles
Even the crescendo before ren goes tenor is a lesson….. the guy is a genius
As a 31-year survivor, the part about the voice you hear, I remember it, a literal voice you hear and the light surrounding me.
OH, REN is BRILLIANT! As a 60 SURVIVOR (x2) it is SOOO relatable! SUBBED for MORE! He JUST dropped a NEW one...SICK BOI. (It will explain my "attempts") ITS ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥, but THEN AGAIN...ALL his music is 🔥🔥🔥🔥🤷♀️✌️❤️🎶🎶🎶🎶😎 Glad I found you! 🙋♀️
Ren is one of the most beautiful human beings I’ve seen. This isn’t a song but his story. I’ve listened to this so many times just to get my head round it and each time I find something else but always the same tear runs down my cheek. This is a masterpiece that couldn’t be written without suffering which in itself is an evil necessity. (Not just this but all his work) So when you are in the darkest place remember that this is gods lesson and plan for you. Stay strong everyone. ❤️🙏🏻
I am greatful for your reaction in the context of mentioning term "The Shadow". Because Ihave seen abut 20+ reactions to this Ren`s track and none of them mentioned "The Shadow". While actually its a very important part of Young theory on Human psychology. That`s why I admire your remark. I love this video because Ren was very intelligent and truthful showing the intensity of inner battle with his own "Shadow". Ren shows the "Shadow" with the help of blinking lamps. That`s a visual representation. Because it brings the shadows on each item and Ren himself. Of course Eminem (who is also a master of story telling) calls his alter ego "Shady". Which also reminds us of this "Shadow" phenomena. Thanks for your input it helps other spectators relate to this track with better understanding of what is going on.
Ren is therapy for so many from one song he helps so many people open up in ways therapists struggle to do in person
Great and well detailed reaction video! Definitely check out his new release "Sick Boi" and while there check his other work such as the Tales of Jenny & Screech! :)
This song is so powerful and honestly worthy of a Grammy nominee! And yes an unsigned artist has won a Grammy. Chance the Rapper did in 2016. He was first unsigned artist to win a Grammy. There have been several nominated surprisingly.
Watch REN’s Sick Boi and his trilogy next.
Money Game part 1 and 2 are amazing too
Bardcore!! 💚 Super Ren fan. Thanks for sharing his genius & your opinion
F@ck this is hard. At times almost too hard to watch, but then you know you aren't alone. Just found this and "chalk outlines". He definitely says what a lot of us deal with. Amazing.
HI Amanda. I've been following Ren for quite a few years now and have spoken to him a few times to show my respect for his work. He just gets better & better with every new release. I was so pleased for him and was totally blown away by this work of art when it was released about 6-7 weeks ago. especially the fact that it has gone totally global. If ever someone deserved it? Then, it is Ren for this song! Not just on a musicality, creative performance and delivery & for revealing his own personal truths to the world. But, more so for how it speaks to us all! Since its release and my own personal connection with its message, I have watched about 50 reaction videos. Purely for the presenter's own connection & reaction. From Thrash metal gods to psychologists, to vicars & 13 years wanna-be influencers. All of which have been left speechless & genuinely blown away. But I have to say your reaction has got to be my favourite! I had the exact same reaction and facial expressions when I first saw it. I still get the same feeling every time I watch it. One that assures me that I am not alone. We are human beings. Yes, it is beautiful & so are you! x
I'm not even done but I just have to say I immediately felt a kinship (I'm also a survivor, not totally out of the woods yet tho) and knew you were real when you flinched at that aggressive "FUCKING DUMB BOY" like you just like me recognize it all too well, shakes me a bit every time. There're so many such moments in this song, stuff you'd only know if you've lived it
This! ☝️❤
Ren is fearless! He will often leave his comments of support on reaction videos like yours. And that's Ren.
Ren is a one of a kind artist. Be careful though his performances can be confronting the end of the Jenny and Screech tale Violet tale is tough.
Also for something completely different try ‘Carry it well’ by Sam Fischer as an Australian 60 year old male I relate to that song closely
Thank you for posting this. Hi REN was just the beginning and that rabbit hole is deep
I doing better with my PTSD not letting it define me I won't give up
Fantastic reaction. Also, Ren is amazing. He's so much more than a single genre artist, and an admirable person when it comes to the messages he puts out
This song is brilliant and beautiful. I love how layered it is. Ren goes deep and speaks so openly about sensitive issues. His story matters, and it also echoes the story of many other people.
Thank you for doing what you do. And for shary and having the conversation about this song. It is tough and powerful and sad but it is a must have conversation we all need. Bless your heart.
I've seen a hundred or more reactions to Hi Ren, never skip a video. But here I am again, crying on public transport. ❤
I can't believe how many good people there are, who are struggling.
Ren was miss diagnosed for years he had a tick bire which gave him Lyme disease, a terrible disease.
I’m definitely down a Ren rabbit hole, I keep listening to it and watching reactions and just gotta say, your reaction is my favourite so far! Thanks for sharing
I find it fascinating seeing what bits specifically get reactions from folk, and I very much appreciated your whole reaction to the song, but the bit I found most interesting is your reaction when he said "and there were students". I would be interested to hear your thoughts on that one, if you're willing!
There were victims and there were students. We all face challenges. There are those who accept defeat and say "why is this happening TO me" and there are those who use those challenges to get stronger, seek out the lesson and ask "how is this happening FOR me."
My story is amazing.... I travelled half the world by 18, got into the music industry for 20 years. Met legends of every genre, Hall of famers and oscar winners., toured, travelled, did it all. I'm now 53 and my life is much quieter. I quit all the drugs and the industry.... but I will always have my memories.
I've been following him for a number of years. To get an idea of Ren's range I recommend you check out the Jenny & Screech trilogy, Money Game pt2, love music pt2, Children of the Moon, 1990s, Chalk Outline (with Chinchilla), Blind Eyed (with Sam Tompkins), Genesis and then when you are totally entranced & hooked check out the rest of his stuff. There's tons & its brilliant.
Im 60 yrs old and have always been a huge Bowie fan (still am) but Ren has pushed him off the spot of my all time top artist. As someone who, like Ren has suffered with chronic illness his words really touch my heart. Im obsessed
Ditto, completely! I've been imagining Bowie listening to this lol and how he'd love it. Ren is incredible, and he speaks straight to me. Even though I'm so much older than Ren, I'm almost your age, I was into some of his favorite bands when I was a teenager, then my daughter and I loved hip hop together, and so I got into some rap as well. I'm not sure why but this week I've been listening to this song over and over, and enjoy watching him too each time, the video is also amazing. And each time I cry, feel sad and hopeful. I have chronic illnesses, degenerative conditions and some strange undiagnosed problems as well, also recently diagnosed ADHD and ASD and long time diagnosis of CPTSD from heavy abuse going back to being a baby, so the trilogy and story of Violet also really touches me personally. Musically all his songs are sublime one way or another. I'm also obsessed. It's hard to move on from long time and faithful loves, but I think Bowie will forgive us and understand.
@@kouranko ❤️
Just watching your facial expressions during his performance, told the story! You could see the fear/disgust when 'bad' Ren was in, then seeing the little smiles and nods when 'good' Ren is in.....its an absolutely phenominal performance..... its like a modern day Bohemian Rhapsody but solo!!!!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
She is over doing her facial expressions on purpose for the sake of the reaction video which is kind of sad.
You are talking about a girl who shrieked so loud during a scene of Breaking Bad that I scared my dog and fangirled SO intensely when *N Sync announced a new song last year that my neighbors came knocking because there were concerned. I'm a naturally animated person.
Loved your realness. Ren just released Sick Boi which is about his struggle with Lyme Disease
I've known this song for awhile. Seen many of these reaction videos.
This one is one of the best.
Thank you very much. I am truly touched by your comment!!!!!
This incandescent poetic genius is the voice of more than a generation of us, fighting these fights every day. Mozart playing Stairway to Heaven in an asylum. And that very last sentence, pure
For "The Greater Good",
there is HOPE...
Helping
Others
Personally
Evolve
✨🙏✨