I submitted the first chapter of my novel for critique... this is what happened. Is online writing critique worth it for your work? That is what we find out in this video!
If you use Scribophile like this, just post a chapter and hope for a hit-and-run critique, you won't get much out of it. But it's not meant to be used that way. If you want to get the most out of it, you use it as a social platform, find other authors whose writing you like and whose critique style you like, you critique their whole book and they critique your whole book in exchange. There are also groups that arrange novel exchange critiques. So you do have control over who critiques your work, it just takes more work to set it up. But it is definitely worth it. You not only get great feedback, but you also learn much while giving it. Also, the reason why you got a more kinder critique on Scribophile is that every one of those people is also looking to receive a critique, which might even be from you, since it's common to return the favor, or from someone else. And since everyone can read their critique, if they're rude, a potential critiquer can read it and be like "this person is an a-hole, I don't want to critique them, because I don't want them to critique me back". That's why when you create a relationship with another critiquer and you get to trust one another, you can get a more honest/brutal critique. While in contrast, the person on Reddit is not looking for anything in return, not from you nor anyone else, so they can be as blunt as they want because they don't give AF. Which means you get a more honest critique from the start, albeit a bit more brutal.
check out story by robert mckee. It's meant for screenwriting, but it can be applied to all sorts of stuff (and it gives a lot of definitions and vocabulary to various parts of writing, which is very helpful)
It's something I've been putting some thought into lately. Many successful writers (Father Tolkien, Brando Sando) had the luxury of having a circle of writer friends (in person). Writing groups, informal chats, workshopping, networking, ect. Iron sharpens iron. But that seems difficult to find and cultivate as a leprechaun's gold at the end of a rainbow. I believe every story is three stories. The story in the writer's head. The story on the page. And the story in the mind of the potential audience. The closer these three can align, the more likely the work will go the distance. I am finding that when I'm reading my own work that often I am BLIND to the story on the page. The story in my head keeps intruding--and it's a darn good one. But what about the story about the page? That's the question. I believe feedback could prove useful in that regard. But the question becomes how to get quality (free) feedback? How does one apply that feedback? Often it can be like reading tea leaves. If you've had any epiphanies on this subject since two years ago, it would be interesting to hear.
Fellow writer here. Great work on your channel. You are bound to build a dedicated and, for publishing purposes in our day and age, useful following. All the best of luck on paper and on screen!
I know this is two years later but still relevant...On "gambeson" and similar words. I love looking up words like this one and learning as I'm reading. If they story is good, I think it can support it. I question certain words a lot too and ultimately always remember, the reader appreciates learning as long as it's not overwhelming. And also, readers appreciate things not being "dumbed down". Assume a smart reader who likes to look up fun new words like this one here and there and I think you'll be safe. Just don't go overboard on the vocab so we don't get taken out of the story too much.
It seems that you're doing a good job with your novel, so congrats! I think getting some outside perspective once in a while is positive for every story. I'll give you my two cents about some points brought up by your critics: 7:04 I would encourage you to keep using this kind of specific vocabulary - this is how we readers learn new words. I didn't know the word gambeson, but now I do because I googled it once I read it/heard it in your video. You can try being more descriptive in certain cases if you want, but use the words that really mean what you wish to convey. 9:15 Yes, those two lines were definitely redundant. Honestly either line works and there might be some room for debate, but I think I would stick with "A blinding flash" too. 13:04 Hum I don't entirely agree with this. This might just be me, but I like some things to be hidden from me. I love stories that leave some interesting bits here and there so you can pick up the pieces, because I'm trying to solve a mystery at the same time I'm reading a story (that's something I love from the Cosmere for example). The thing is - don't overuse it, just think carefully if anything you're trying to hide will be mind-blowing enough to keep your readers interested.
Thank you for the feedback! Your comments, along with those in the video itself, have given me a lot to consider while continuing work on my novel and it's greatly appreciated!
Genuinely binging your videos. Please don’t stop. I completed NaNoWriMo in 2020 and now I have 50k words of jumbled mess. I’m going to do it again this year and Sanderson videos have helped me a lot.
Critiques should be part of your writer-development toolbox, but it's impossible to create a good novel or short story via critiques. The story must ALREADY be good. All a critique can accomplish in the short run is polishing your story. This is probably one of the most understated truths about writing. You have to learn how to tell a good story. Extraordinarily difficult to learn that through any form of formal training. If a story isn't good, critiques are worthless (in the short run). It would be like trying to polish up an average basketball player so he can make it into the NBA. Never gonna happen. How do you learn how to tell a good story? I can only suggest living and learning about life in general and spending a lot of time thinking about who you are and about what you love about life and other books.
i was SO sure i just found a 100k subscribers channel. wow, the quality of the video, your diction and naturality to speak! keep up with the good work and you'll go far
With regard to specific jargon that is used to convey something... I wouldn't worry too much as long as it isn't overdone and that there are enough context clues to help readers who do know what said item is.
I think you're right. My mistake wasn't necessarily using a specific term, but not providing enough context for those unfamiliar with the word to surmise its meaning. Thank you for the comment!
Yeah, I had a similar critique about a character wearing ‘brigandine’ but I’ve kept it for now. You can tell it’s a kind of armor and I think it’s more immersive to use specific language
This has been so helpful!! I’m one of those people who doesn’t like to share my writing. But when I do, it’s always to close family and friends. Unfortunately, I always second guess what they tell me because I’m worried they don’t want to hurt my feelings. I’ve thought about online editing before, but it’s always kinda scared me. This video has been super helpful in getting an idea of what online editing is like! Thank you!!
That last critique...bro, that is the kind of people I'm avoiding so much. So what if we try to keep a few things hidden to reveal them later? Oh so, accrding to that someone it means "we think we're above the reader." Eh, no? In my case, I have a very smart audience to impress, thanks. The stakes are high for me. That person on Reddit was simply taking a chance to perform the harsh critic persona, which is so common across public online platforms like reddit or twitter. Great job with your videos, I'm enjoying your content.
Loved this! Not only does it provide great information about the process, but I found the critiques you shared useful while looking at my own writing to do my first round of edits.
Ok, im taking the " selecting what eyes to wear" line, thank you for allowing it (jk) Also omg the way to describe the people that knows what a gambeson is, its full of stereotypes about history entusiast...My doctor recommends me to take more sun, but that its beside the point(? The corrections of the video make me be concious about some of the things in my own writing, as there are some of those things that i myself wasnt noticing of rythm. And make me feel good about the critiques that i had recived of the chapter that i submited (i wanted to know that it wasnt strange or forced) as i had mixed responses on that same subreddit.
The eyes story is all yours! I think it has some real 'faceless men' potential à la Game of Thrones lol. Very happy to hear the video helped you out in regards to your own writing though, thanks for watching!
As someone who struggles with the motivation to continue to write because of other commitments (aka school), this kind of content really helps boost my motivation to keep writing. You are quickly becoming one of my favorite youtubers who make writing related content and I hope your channel blows up in popularity one day. Keep up the good work man, and good luck with your novel! :))))
I really appreciate that you shared your own experience - including sharing parts of stories which is really scary. You just got a subscriber. Keep up the good videos
It is important to remember it’s okay to get critiques and it is nice to get others opinions but you have to take all of it with a grain of salt. Also, all these critiques seem so unimportant in the long run. It’s important to get sentence structure right cause it affects pacing, but I think it is more important to get the whole story written first before you start working on the individual scenes and how they feel.
Stumbled on your channel today and I've really enjoyed these videos! As somebody trying to get into the swing of writing her own books, and somebody who works on team Dragonsteel and loves well-crafted books, your analysis and advice and outlook is very constructive! Please keep it up, and good luck with your novel!!
I don’t see what’s wrong with gambeson. I only know what one is now because i saw the word for the first time in this video , so I googled it. Anyone can Google stuff these days and that’s why I wouldn’t change the use of the word because if someone can take something away from your work, even if it is just a new word, at least that’s something to remember it by. I’ll probably remember this video because of it
Always listen to the bad review. It is much more useful. You dont have to agree with it or abandon your opinions, but you learn very little/nothing from positive reviews.
I would change it to: "Fear [can] seem entirely conquerable... from a distance." Breaking up the flow of it, as you did in your version, isnt working. The point is that everything looks easy... from afar/FROM A DISTANCE. Or you could hwve written From a distance, fear seems conquerable..... From a distance. The point you want to stress is FROM A DISTANCE, thus, it should be the last words others read. No? Good thing im 2 yrs too late with this writing GOLD! 😆 Cheers.
Solid advice! As a new writer it is helpful to get feedback but it’s also important to remember that art is subject and everyone enjoys different styles of writing! :)
Exactly! Critique can be too tough to handle if you don't remember the subjectivity of it all. The opinion of others is important to take into consideration, but it's not the end all be all. Thank you for the comment!
I think it's interesting that none of the critiques was about story beats, character flaws, or other "pro tier" story theory. It's superficial stuff that could be written by a skilled amateur reader. Not that I think a knowledge of literary criticism is necessary to recognize a good story.
You are such a talented youtuber, keep it up. Time will tell how your novel goes (may it be well), but I can't imagine your channel not finding great success.
Hey man! I just subbed because of the good video quality (with the split sections and the cuts to the reviews you are talking about) and i'm also in a similar situation where I am trying to get started on my first short novel or solo book. I turned on notifications so feel free to post whenever you want i'll be here :) -Ivan
Thank you for both the compliments and the subscription! Today is actually a filming day, so hopefully I'll have some new videos out soon. Also, good luck with your writing, I love the little community of writers that is beginning to form here!
Hey man, all about your channel! Have notifications on and wont be missing anything, keep up the great work. Im mainly a booktuber, but also write and so interested in your journey.
There's an interesting point in this video, the part on the gambeson. You need to be aware of your word choice and writing in general in regards to your audience. If you're writing for medieval nuts, not explaining things like gambesons, falchions, and crenellations makes perfect sense. We'd know immediately what those are. But if you're intended audience is casual readers, you would need to explain what these are or use entirely different word choice.
Hi, your videos are really helpful and high quality, i'm surprised you don't have more subscribers already. On the gambeson thing, you could also try describing it first, then referring to it with that word a sentence or two later so readers associate the word with that description. Good luck with your book!
That's a good idea! That way, you get the specificity that comes with the word while still offering those unfamiliar with the term a way to understand its meaning. Thank you!
I always substitute 'gambeson' for 'padded jacket' or 'padded armor' when writing, as I'm sure most people have no idea what it is. Edit: Also, I don't think anyone should be afraid to make a small infodump (I'm talking very small) simply to inform the reader on what a certain thing is if it's really not common knowledge
Used as a synonym, readers would pick up on it. Corwyn tugged at his quilted padded armor, trying to hide the scuff marks. The captain's voice behind him revealed he needn't have bothered, "Boy, if you can't keep your gambeson clean, what chance do you have of keeping your head?" Or The gambeson saved his life. He stared at the dagger buried in his armor, its thick padded surface absorbing the violence of his would-be assassin.
"...stand with a rigid spine" -- that alone shows you have a LOT of work to do as a writer. The remainder of the critique is spot-on. You need to join a writer workshop and devote a few years to reading and writing voluminously. I know that seems intimidating at this point in your very young life but that doesn't change the reality of where you're at now.
Critique #5 - Never request writing advice or critique from reddit lol. That site is filled with some of the most miserable and uninspired "writers" I've ever seen. There is a strong air of elitism too and everyone talks as if they're some expert. You hit the nail on the head with why most online critique is bullshit, there's no way to know whether the person critiquing your stuff SHOULD be critiquing your stuff (or anyone at all 🤣🤣). Better to find a writing group or something like you said with ppl that you can trust Example: The Reddit dude said "Stop hiding stuff from the reader" which is some of the worst advice to give without context LMAO. What book ever written in existence had any plot worth reading where certain major elements weren't hidden from the reader. I would've stopped reading the critique right after that point
I know your comment is super old, but I just want to concur with you, Reddit is filled with a lot of users that give haughty comments. Even the critique about the writer hiding things to feel better than their readers is telling on the commenter themselves. I used to post things on Reddit and I got a lot of, for lack of better word, toxic comments. I have since uninstalled it from my phone and my life is all the better for it.
"Wearing eyes" could be a really neat reference to shapeshifters that you just quickly introduced and then move on and we talk about it later. In line with what other comments have said, genuinely Brave of you to put your work out there like that. Very well done dude.
The more I think about it, the more I consider just sticking to my guns with the eye-wearing line and turning this into a shapeshifter story lol. Glad you liked the video, thank you for watching!
Well here's an advice to those who aren't confident in their writing: Critique can be discouraging, so I'd advise against it, but you may not see the flaw in your own work right when you finish it, so after you wrote something the best you can, set it aside, read/listen one your favorite writer's book. After an entire book, go back and read your own work, and see how it compares. If it feels like a good read, then you may want some critique, if you see flaws in it, try to fix it, and read another book before evaluating it again.
With regards to the use of words like 'gambeson', I think it really depends on narration and tone. If you're using a POV character (even a 3rd person limited POV), and that character would use the word 'gambeson', then I wouldn't worry about if readers know what it means because that's how the character would talk. If your POV character has no reason to know what a gambeson is, maybe avoiding the word is better. It gets a little trickier if you're using 3rd person omniscient POV because then the world isn't really being filtered through one specific character. At that point, you have to go with your gut as to what kind of tone you're trying to set. Words like 'gambeson' or 'guisarme' would put a lot of focus on the arms and armor being used, which is fine if that's an important part of the story or world. If it isn't, maybe use less specific words, like 'armor' or 'spear'/'polearm'. That's just my two cents, at least.
Good points! In the case of the example included in the video, the story is told from a third-person limited POV, and the character was a trained guard. The points you made have me feeling a bit more comfortable with the decision to include the term than before-thank you for the comment!
"wore a grave expression" is a valid term, so "wore grave eyes" is not confusing at all, at least to anybody who's ever read, ever. If fact it seems quite clever, especially because it relates so closely to the origional expression, but adds it's own ambiguity. Read some Harry potter, and you'll see that you don't have to be perfect, not even close. You just have to be fun to read. Make up you own words, phrases, be as clever or as silly as you choose. Throw grammar out of the window, even break the 4th wall. " The thought suddenly struck Corben that the expression "wearing eyes" was a confunding one. Imagining a young lad waking up and physically adorning a headdress with brooding eyes dangling from it, he couldn't hold back. The tense expression on the boy's face turned quizzical as Corben burst out laughing. 'Is he mad?' he wondered. Or have I forgotten my pants at home again? Looking down at his own feet, the boy breathed out a huge sigh of relief just as Corben, trying desperately to get his laughter under control gulped huge lungfuls of his own." See?
Let's make the word gambeson a thing we all know. I'm stealing that word for my own work now. Hell I might even name a character Gambeson. I love that word.
which website did you use to get these critiques(Great video by the way. You're increasingly becoming my favourite writing related youtuber. Keep 'em coming!)?
@@YarnRay Was wondering this as well, thanks for answering! Loving all your videos BTW and as a CZcamsr myself (different account than this one) with about the same amount of subs I admire your steady release of content thus far, keep it up man! :) P.S. The interesting like a sunset over a mountain bit made me chuckle out loud, the jokes are hitting the mark 😎 P.P.S. Cacophony IS a fun word.
Yeah, but you can just tell from the tone of the "broom smacking person" that this person is an older, well-established professional in the field of literature. Either a writer, editor or teacher. The attitude smacks of accomplished writer, or quite possibly teacher who marks written essays and to whom this feels like a cardinal sin because they've been trying to drum into their students' heads for the past 25 years, "Don't try to hide things from your readers!!!" But I
It's fairly strange to take feedback on how to improve your writing from people who have never gotten any success with their writing. Why not find someone who actually has a career and follow their advice? That's like getting a critique on editing CZcams videos from someone who doesn't even have a channel and is just starting to create their first ever video. Find someone who is at the point which you wish to reach, that's the key with anything in life. But no one does that with writing for some reason. It is what it is, I guess.
I have a different thought on the matter. Not everyone has successfully published a story, certainly everyone has been an audience for one. These people undoubtedly can say, 'I like this part' or 'This part does not work for me' or 'I did not quite get this part--I was lost, confused' or 'I like/hate this character' or 'I don't care if this character lives or dies'. They might not be able to diagnose on the word or sentence level, or in terms of technical craft, but nearly everyone can offer important feedback.
None of the four mentioned to you how "oddly" is not a word? It belongs to a subset within a subset of words that aren't words that the dullards forced into the dictionaries. The smaller part it resides in specifically has to deal with adjective and adverbs, in which, if an adverb means the SAME thing as the adjective, the adjective can serve as the adverb. This only occurs in qualitative adjectives, i.e. Odd, Quick, Bright, etc. Thus, oddLY is not a word. Does it not feel incorrect to you when say it? That would be because it's wrong. I've been though this with several writer hopefuls and published authors, but they tend to pay me no heed. Don't be a galoot. Don't use words that don't exist.
I can’t believe you don’t have thousands of subscribers, this is really high level content. Great job!!
Thank you, hopefully I'm on my way!
"Fear, from a distance, seems conquerable." I really like that opening line
I think it’s a banger
If you use Scribophile like this, just post a chapter and hope for a hit-and-run critique, you won't get much out of it. But it's not meant to be used that way. If you want to get the most out of it, you use it as a social platform, find other authors whose writing you like and whose critique style you like, you critique their whole book and they critique your whole book in exchange. There are also groups that arrange novel exchange critiques. So you do have control over who critiques your work, it just takes more work to set it up. But it is definitely worth it. You not only get great feedback, but you also learn much while giving it.
Also, the reason why you got a more kinder critique on Scribophile is that every one of those people is also looking to receive a critique, which might even be from you, since it's common to return the favor, or from someone else. And since everyone can read their critique, if they're rude, a potential critiquer can read it and be like "this person is an a-hole, I don't want to critique them, because I don't want them to critique me back". That's why when you create a relationship with another critiquer and you get to trust one another, you can get a more honest/brutal critique. While in contrast, the person on Reddit is not looking for anything in return, not from you nor anyone else, so they can be as blunt as they want because they don't give AF. Which means you get a more honest critique from the start, albeit a bit more brutal.
For someone looking to start writing their first novel,this is becoming my favourite channel,keep up the great work man!
check out story by robert mckee. It's meant for screenwriting, but it can be applied to all sorts of stuff (and it gives a lot of definitions and vocabulary to various parts of writing, which is very helpful)
sameeeeeeeeee
It's something I've been putting some thought into lately. Many successful writers (Father Tolkien, Brando Sando) had the luxury of having a circle of writer friends (in person). Writing groups, informal chats, workshopping, networking, ect. Iron sharpens iron. But that seems difficult to find and cultivate as a leprechaun's gold at the end of a rainbow.
I believe every story is three stories. The story in the writer's head. The story on the page. And the story in the mind of the potential audience. The closer these three can align, the more likely the work will go the distance.
I am finding that when I'm reading my own work that often I am BLIND to the story on the page. The story in my head keeps intruding--and it's a darn good one. But what about the story about the page? That's the question. I believe feedback could prove useful in that regard.
But the question becomes how to get quality (free) feedback? How does one apply that feedback? Often it can be like reading tea leaves.
If you've had any epiphanies on this subject since two years ago, it would be interesting to hear.
Always take advice from people who hate you. They will be excruciatingly honest. That which is most valuable.
Ehhh sometimes they will be dishonest to hurt you so I don't know if I agree with this.
Are you kidding? I would completely make up false criticisms if I hated someone, even unknowingly.
Fellow writer here. Great work on your channel. You are bound to build a dedicated and, for publishing purposes in our day and age, useful following. All the best of luck on paper and on screen!
Thank you, and good luck with your writing!
I know this is two years later but still relevant...On "gambeson" and similar words. I love looking up words like this one and learning as I'm reading. If they story is good, I think it can support it. I question certain words a lot too and ultimately always remember, the reader appreciates learning as long as it's not overwhelming. And also, readers appreciate things not being "dumbed down". Assume a smart reader who likes to look up fun new words like this one here and there and I think you'll be safe. Just don't go overboard on the vocab so we don't get taken out of the story too much.
It seems that you're doing a good job with your novel, so congrats! I think getting some outside perspective once in a while is positive for every story. I'll give you my two cents about some points brought up by your critics:
7:04 I would encourage you to keep using this kind of specific vocabulary - this is how we readers learn new words. I didn't know the word gambeson, but now I do because I googled it once I read it/heard it in your video. You can try being more descriptive in certain cases if you want, but use the words that really mean what you wish to convey.
9:15 Yes, those two lines were definitely redundant. Honestly either line works and there might be some room for debate, but I think I would stick with "A blinding flash" too.
13:04 Hum I don't entirely agree with this. This might just be me, but I like some things to be hidden from me. I love stories that leave some interesting bits here and there so you can pick up the pieces, because I'm trying to solve a mystery at the same time I'm reading a story (that's something I love from the Cosmere for example). The thing is - don't overuse it, just think carefully if anything you're trying to hide will be mind-blowing enough to keep your readers interested.
Thank you for the feedback! Your comments, along with those in the video itself, have given me a lot to consider while continuing work on my novel and it's greatly appreciated!
Genuinely binging your videos. Please don’t stop. I completed NaNoWriMo in 2020 and now I have 50k words of jumbled mess. I’m going to do it again this year and Sanderson videos have helped me a lot.
Critiques should be part of your writer-development toolbox, but it's impossible to create a good novel or short story via critiques. The story must ALREADY be good. All a critique can accomplish in the short run is polishing your story. This is probably one of the most understated truths about writing. You have to learn how to tell a good story. Extraordinarily difficult to learn that through any form of formal training. If a story isn't good, critiques are worthless (in the short run). It would be like trying to polish up an average basketball player so he can make it into the NBA. Never gonna happen. How do you learn how to tell a good story? I can only suggest living and learning about life in general and spending a lot of time thinking about who you are and about what you love about life and other books.
i was SO sure i just found a 100k subscribers channel. wow, the quality of the video, your diction and naturality to speak! keep up with the good work and you'll go far
That means a lot, thank you!
With regard to specific jargon that is used to convey something... I wouldn't worry too much as long as it isn't overdone and that there are enough context clues to help readers who do know what said item is.
I think you're right. My mistake wasn't necessarily using a specific term, but not providing enough context for those unfamiliar with the word to surmise its meaning. Thank you for the comment!
Yeah, I had a similar critique about a character wearing ‘brigandine’ but I’ve kept it for now. You can tell it’s a kind of armor and I think it’s more immersive to use specific language
Stick with it. It takes time to develop a comradeship within a critique group.
This has been so helpful!! I’m one of those people who doesn’t like to share my writing. But when I do, it’s always to close family and friends. Unfortunately, I always second guess what they tell me because I’m worried they don’t want to hurt my feelings. I’ve thought about online editing before, but it’s always kinda scared me. This video has been super helpful in getting an idea of what online editing is like! Thank you!!
Showing others your work can be nerve-wracking! So glad my video was helpful-thank you, and good luck with your writing!
That last critique...bro, that is the kind of people I'm avoiding so much.
So what if we try to keep a few things hidden to reveal them later?
Oh so, accrding to that someone it means "we think we're above the reader." Eh, no?
In my case, I have a very smart audience to impress, thanks. The stakes are high for me.
That person on Reddit was simply taking a chance to perform the harsh critic persona, which is so common across public online platforms like reddit or twitter.
Great job with your videos, I'm enjoying your content.
Loved this! Not only does it provide great information about the process, but I found the critiques you shared useful while looking at my own writing to do my first round of edits.
Thank you! Happy to hear it was helpful-good luck with your edits!
Ok, im taking the " selecting what eyes to wear" line, thank you for allowing it (jk)
Also omg the way to describe the people that knows what a gambeson is, its full of stereotypes about history entusiast...My doctor recommends me to take more sun, but that its beside the point(?
The corrections of the video make me be concious about some of the things in my own writing, as there are some of those things that i myself wasnt noticing of rythm. And make me feel good about the critiques that i had recived of the chapter that i submited (i wanted to know that it wasnt strange or forced) as i had mixed responses on that same subreddit.
The eyes story is all yours! I think it has some real 'faceless men' potential à la Game of Thrones lol. Very happy to hear the video helped you out in regards to your own writing though, thanks for watching!
I think the wearing grave eyes thing makes sense how you did it.
As someone who struggles with the motivation to continue to write because of other commitments (aka school), this kind of content really helps boost my motivation to keep writing. You are quickly becoming one of my favorite youtubers who make writing related content and I hope your channel blows up in popularity one day. Keep up the good work man, and good luck with your novel! :))))
I love this comment, and the idea that I could motivate others to create. Thank you so much!
I really appreciate that you shared your own experience - including sharing parts of stories which is really scary. You just got a subscriber. Keep up the good videos
It is important to remember it’s okay to get critiques and it is nice to get others opinions but you have to take all of it with a grain of salt. Also, all these critiques seem so unimportant in the long run. It’s important to get sentence structure right cause it affects pacing, but I think it is more important to get the whole story written first before you start working on the individual scenes and how they feel.
Stumbled on your channel today and I've really enjoyed these videos! As somebody trying to get into the swing of writing her own books, and somebody who works on team Dragonsteel and loves well-crafted books, your analysis and advice and outlook is very constructive! Please keep it up, and good luck with your novel!!
I don’t see what’s wrong with gambeson. I only know what one is now because i saw the word for the first time in this video , so I googled it. Anyone can Google stuff these days and that’s why I wouldn’t change the use of the word because if someone can take something away from your work, even if it is just a new word, at least that’s something to remember it by. I’ll probably remember this video because of it
Very brave of you. Thanks for taking the bullet so I don't have too. :D
You're welcome-it wasn't so bad though! Thank you for watching :D
I like your attitude! You are a pleasure to watch.
Always listen to the bad review. It is much more useful. You dont have to agree with it or abandon your opinions, but you learn very little/nothing from positive reviews.
I would change it to:
"Fear [can] seem entirely conquerable... from a distance."
Breaking up the flow of it, as you did in your version, isnt working. The point is that everything looks easy... from afar/FROM A DISTANCE.
Or you could hwve written
From a distance, fear seems conquerable..... From a distance.
The point you want to stress is FROM A DISTANCE, thus, it should be the last words others read. No?
Good thing im 2 yrs too late with this writing GOLD!
😆 Cheers.
I've had some experience with Scribo and liked it for the most part.
new here 💛 found you through your brandon vid
This was really interesting. Great work!
Solid advice! As a new writer it is helpful to get feedback but it’s also important to remember that art is subject and everyone enjoys different styles of writing! :)
Exactly! Critique can be too tough to handle if you don't remember the subjectivity of it all. The opinion of others is important to take into consideration, but it's not the end all be all. Thank you for the comment!
I think it's interesting that none of the critiques was about story beats, character flaws, or other "pro tier" story theory. It's superficial stuff that could be written by a skilled amateur reader. Not that I think a knowledge of literary criticism is necessary to recognize a good story.
You are such a talented youtuber, keep it up. Time will tell how your novel goes (may it be well), but I can't imagine your channel not finding great success.
I hope you're right! Thank you for the kind words!
Really enjoyed this
Hey man! I just subbed because of the good video quality (with the split sections and the cuts to the reviews you are talking about) and i'm also in a similar situation where I am trying to get started on my first short novel or solo book. I turned on notifications so feel free to post whenever you want i'll be here :) -Ivan
Thank you for both the compliments and the subscription! Today is actually a filming day, so hopefully I'll have some new videos out soon. Also, good luck with your writing, I love the little community of writers that is beginning to form here!
I'm an artist, and it's much the same with art. The feedback can vary wildly depending on which site you post on.
Want to say, happy I found this channel. CZcams recommended you, so hopefully you will get the subscriber rush you deserve soon.
I'm also happy you found this channel, thank you!
I expected nothing less from Reddit. It's a harsh place to be at times, confusing too.
Hey man, all about your channel! Have notifications on and wont be missing anything, keep up the great work. Im mainly a booktuber, but also write and so interested in your journey.
Thank you! That makes us mutual fans because I loved your stuff as well.
There's an interesting point in this video, the part on the gambeson. You need to be aware of your word choice and writing in general in regards to your audience. If you're writing for medieval nuts, not explaining things like gambesons, falchions, and crenellations makes perfect sense. We'd know immediately what those are. But if you're intended audience is casual readers, you would need to explain what these are or use entirely different word choice.
Fantastic video. :D
Hi, your videos are really helpful and high quality, i'm surprised you don't have more subscribers already. On the gambeson thing, you could also try describing it first, then referring to it with that word a sentence or two later so readers associate the word with that description. Good luck with your book!
That's a good idea! That way, you get the specificity that comes with the word while still offering those unfamiliar with the term a way to understand its meaning. Thank you!
I always substitute 'gambeson' for 'padded jacket' or 'padded armor' when writing, as I'm sure most people have no idea what it is.
Edit: Also, I don't think anyone should be afraid to make a small infodump (I'm talking very small) simply to inform the reader on what a certain thing is if it's really not common knowledge
Used as a synonym, readers would pick up on it.
Corwyn tugged at his quilted padded armor, trying to hide the scuff marks. The captain's voice behind him revealed he needn't have bothered, "Boy, if you can't keep your gambeson clean, what chance do you have of keeping your head?"
Or
The gambeson saved his life. He stared at the dagger buried in his armor, its thick padded surface absorbing the violence of his would-be assassin.
Come back bro. You started strong and then disappeared.
Cut all the ings. Easy rewrite and makes it less passive.
"...stand with a rigid spine" -- that alone shows you have a LOT of work to do as a writer. The remainder of the critique is spot-on. You need to join a writer workshop and devote a few years to reading and writing voluminously. I know that seems intimidating at this point in your very young life but that doesn't change the reality of where you're at now.
Great content and introspective, as well as observant of others critiques. Keep up the informative work, you have a subscribe from me!
Critique #5 - Never request writing advice or critique from reddit lol. That site is filled with some of the most miserable and uninspired "writers" I've ever seen. There is a strong air of elitism too and everyone talks as if they're some expert. You hit the nail on the head with why most online critique is bullshit, there's no way to know whether the person critiquing your stuff SHOULD be critiquing your stuff (or anyone at all 🤣🤣). Better to find a writing group or something like you said with ppl that you can trust
Example: The Reddit dude said "Stop hiding stuff from the reader" which is some of the worst advice to give without context LMAO. What book ever written in existence had any plot worth reading where certain major elements weren't hidden from the reader. I would've stopped reading the critique right after that point
I know your comment is super old, but I just want to concur with you, Reddit is filled with a lot of users that give haughty comments. Even the critique about the writer hiding things to feel better than their readers is telling on the commenter themselves.
I used to post things on Reddit and I got a lot of, for lack of better word, toxic comments. I have since uninstalled it from my phone and my life is all the better for it.
@@Yonlop Fr i bet they didnt even realise the story was in third person limited so if the MC doesnt know anything why should the reader?
Give him money.
"Wearing eyes" could be a really neat reference to shapeshifters that you just quickly introduced and then move on and we talk about it later.
In line with what other comments have said, genuinely Brave of you to put your work out there like that. Very well done dude.
The more I think about it, the more I consider just sticking to my guns with the eye-wearing line and turning this into a shapeshifter story lol. Glad you liked the video, thank you for watching!
Well here's an advice to those who aren't confident in their writing:
Critique can be discouraging, so I'd advise against it, but you may not see the flaw in your own work right when you finish it, so after you wrote something the best you can, set it aside, read/listen one your favorite writer's book. After an entire book, go back and read your own work, and see how it compares. If it feels like a good read, then you may want some critique, if you see flaws in it, try to fix it, and read another book before evaluating it again.
very good video, subbed
Nah I'm finishing my first draft before anyone gets to see it. I read Steven kings "On Writing"
With regards to the use of words like 'gambeson', I think it really depends on narration and tone. If you're using a POV character (even a 3rd person limited POV), and that character would use the word 'gambeson', then I wouldn't worry about if readers know what it means because that's how the character would talk. If your POV character has no reason to know what a gambeson is, maybe avoiding the word is better.
It gets a little trickier if you're using 3rd person omniscient POV because then the world isn't really being filtered through one specific character. At that point, you have to go with your gut as to what kind of tone you're trying to set. Words like 'gambeson' or 'guisarme' would put a lot of focus on the arms and armor being used, which is fine if that's an important part of the story or world. If it isn't, maybe use less specific words, like 'armor' or 'spear'/'polearm'.
That's just my two cents, at least.
Good points! In the case of the example included in the video, the story is told from a third-person limited POV, and the character was a trained guard. The points you made have me feeling a bit more comfortable with the decision to include the term than before-thank you for the comment!
"wore a grave expression" is a valid term, so "wore grave eyes" is not confusing at all, at least to anybody who's ever read, ever. If fact it seems quite clever, especially because it relates so closely to the origional expression, but adds it's own ambiguity. Read some Harry potter, and you'll see that you don't have to be perfect, not even close. You just have to be fun to read. Make up you own words, phrases, be as clever or as silly as you choose. Throw grammar out of the window, even break the 4th wall. " The thought suddenly struck Corben that the expression "wearing eyes" was a confunding one. Imagining a young lad waking up and physically adorning a headdress with brooding eyes dangling from it, he couldn't hold back. The tense expression on the boy's face turned quizzical as Corben burst out laughing. 'Is he mad?' he wondered. Or have I forgotten my pants at home again? Looking down at his own feet, the boy breathed out a huge sigh of relief just as Corben, trying desperately to get his laughter under control gulped huge lungfuls of his own." See?
I am curious and I'd like to read the text, is it not available any longer?
Let's make the word gambeson a thing we all know. I'm stealing that word for my own work now. Hell I might even name a character Gambeson. I love that word.
which website did you use to get these critiques(Great video by the way. You're increasingly becoming my favourite writing related youtuber. Keep 'em coming!)?
Reddit and Scribophile were used in this video-thank you!
@@YarnRay Was wondering this as well, thanks for answering! Loving all your videos BTW and as a CZcamsr myself (different account than this one) with about the same amount of subs I admire your steady release of content thus far, keep it up man! :)
P.S. The interesting like a sunset over a mountain bit made me chuckle out loud, the jokes are hitting the mark 😎
P.P.S. Cacophony IS a fun word.
Sorry if this is rude but I can't stand it when authors call their book's money "coin" nobody calls money coin.
Instead of cacophony you could use din. Nobody uses din.
Because its not fun
Except Clive Barker -- then every thing is a din.
Nice video! Just wanted to ask what platform you used to get ur work reviewed?
Thank you! I used Reddit and Scribophile in this video.
Yeah, but you can just tell from the tone of the "broom smacking person" that this person is an older, well-established professional in the field of literature. Either a writer, editor or teacher. The attitude smacks of accomplished writer, or quite possibly teacher who marks written essays and to whom this feels like a cardinal sin because they've been trying to drum into their students' heads for the past 25 years, "Don't try to hide things from your readers!!!" But I
This guys fuc**** hilarious
W channel
It's fairly strange to take feedback on how to improve your writing from people who have never gotten any success with their writing. Why not find someone who actually has a career and follow their advice?
That's like getting a critique on editing CZcams videos from someone who doesn't even have a channel and is just starting to create their first ever video. Find someone who is at the point which you wish to reach, that's the key with anything in life.
But no one does that with writing for some reason.
It is what it is, I guess.
I have a different thought on the matter. Not everyone has successfully published a story, certainly everyone has been an audience for one. These people undoubtedly can say, 'I like this part' or 'This part does not work for me' or 'I did not quite get this part--I was lost, confused' or 'I like/hate this character' or 'I don't care if this character lives or dies'. They might not be able to diagnose on the word or sentence level, or in terms of technical craft, but nearly everyone can offer important feedback.
Reddit sucks
Well for one, 2300 words seems quite short for chapter length. I wonder if there’s more you could add to beef it up a bit.
None of the four mentioned to you how "oddly" is not a word? It belongs to a subset within a subset of words that aren't words that the dullards forced into the dictionaries. The smaller part it resides in specifically has to deal with adjective and adverbs, in which, if an adverb means the SAME thing as the adjective, the adjective can serve as the adverb. This only occurs in qualitative adjectives, i.e. Odd, Quick, Bright, etc. Thus, oddLY is not a word. Does it not feel incorrect to you when say it? That would be because it's wrong. I've been though this with several writer hopefuls and published authors, but they tend to pay me no heed. Don't be a galoot. Don't use words that don't exist.
I like your writing. Now I have to read this book.