Unconditional love does not mean acceptance of all behaviors, decisions, and choices. It is possible to love unconditionally and not remain married to the person. Unconditional love is not the same as blindly trusting every word.
@@MaijaJaakola it is. Conditions are not If your spouse turns out to be a serial killer or a cheater lol that’s not a condition that’s something that should not even come into question in the first place.
@@MaijaJaakolaabsolutely not, she not saying I am going stop loving you because you cheated. She saying I still Love you, but you don’t get to abuse my love! Just because you’re not with someone does not mean you don’t love them. You love them enough to say this behavior is not okay.
They should have earned that trust before marriage then. That’s my opinion though. When you get married you become one, you choose to vow and promise ( normally under God) and I feel like promises just aren’t what they… are suppose to be? People are allowed to break promises now and it’s okay… break laws and it’s fine. This age has become so relaxed over things and they wonder why there is more pain and suffering of all kinds in the world. There’s no more truth, no more value to anything anymore… but that’s what you get when people want to live their life their way with not rules to follow, no traditions to upkeep and no value to hold to themselves and their spouse or future spouse
Yes, exactly! People these days make mistakes so easily… it’s disappointing and disgusting how many people do terrible things in a blink of an eye. Especially doing things like that to their own partner! Again, loving children should be unconditional. They might make a mistake that could lead you to be disappointed in them, but you should still love them and make that known. Partners, however, earn that love. Someone might have married their partner because they’re gentle and kind. If their partner starts abusing them, that trust is broken and you would probably resent them. What I’m trying to say is I think people should be more careful with what they say and do. So many bad things are acceptable today that shouldn’t be, like dr*gs and cheating on your partner. People should have a little more respect for themselves or they’ll probably regret what they did for the rest of their lives.
Your life, your business. We're a bunch of people on the Internet who only see what you let us see. And that's how it should be. You don't have to tell people the details, you don't owe us anything. I don't think loving a spouse unconditionally is possible. But if you want to make things work, and you do it together, I think that it's possible to get through the really tough stuff.
I have been with my husband for 23yrs, since we were 17 and 18. This journey has been far from smooth. I personally, have fallen in and out of love many times. He's my human. Starting over has crossed my mind, yes many times, but i also have reminded myself that life is not perfect. I'm not perfect. As long as there's respect, love always comes back.
Same. I have been with my husband since I was 17, I am 37 now. There have definitely been many times it would have been easier to give up but sitting here today, I am soooo glad we didn’t. ❤
you can still love someone unconditionally and choose to not be with them for the way the treat you. You can love someone and still put yourself first 100%
People can be forgiven, people can change. Just because somebody makes a mistake we are suppose to cut off all ties? Maybe that’s why this world sucks anymore…. There’s never forgiveness just brokenness everywhere. If she chooses to hold to her vows/promises let her, she deserves to be treated better yes, but by her husband- if she chooses to
@@shell7142 so many have the definition of forgiveness so wrong. You can forgive someone without reconciling. Forgiveness and reconciling do not have to go together because thats not what forgiveness is. Its for you and your mental health. Not the other person. You forgive and move on from the person who scarred you. Even if you decide to cut ties, thats ok too.. . It doesn't mean brokenness. It means leaving that dread behind and reparing your mental health so that you can move forward. I've been through a lot and decided I would never stay with a cheater ever again. I've been through that and I'm much stronger. Cheating IS NOT a mistake. It's a selfish choice that that the other person made. So yea, cheat once and its over. That's how it should be but if someone decides to forgive their cheating partner, that's also their decision to make I do agree that people can change. But that's very risky. I hope he has changed and they can continue to live a happy healthy life
@shell7142 cheaters don’t change. they’re only sorry when they get caught. if they loved their partner, they would not make those decisions in the first place. this mindset of “people change” causes women to stay with men who will continue to think they can get away with things
@@user-yl4zq5vu9d while I agree that is true many times, I would like to challenge the all or nothing mindset. I did cheat on my partner, it was something that I was very ashamed of, and there is no excusing the choice I made. However, I took accountability, came clean to my partner, apologized and decided to change. We didn’t end up staying together, but I believe it was for the best. It’s been 10 years since that happened, and I have not come anywhere near cheating on anyone I’ve been in a relationship with since. I have been in therapy for 5+ years, made huge strides in my personal growth, learned what lead me to cheat in the first place, and really addressed all of those things and continue to do so. I know what pitfalls to avoid now, and am way more in touch with my inner self to avoid anything like that happening again. I do think it is extra hard for people who decide to stay together after cheating, and it requires a lot of extra work. But I don’t believe “once a cheater always a cheater” as a hard and fast rule, but I do think many people are unwilling to do the work to make true change in themselves because it’s hard and very uncomfortable, but in the end, very worth it.
Ppl can, and do change if they want to and get help. With God ALL things are possible! I know bc I’ve seen it in my life and others around me. Marriages can bc saved. We ALL need forgiveness for different things we’ve done. And when we offer forgiveness with someone that is remorseful, then the love can grow even stronger together. I’ve seen it and it is very real.
Exactly! And many parents love their kids from a distance too, especially if the kid is a drug user. I say this because of my ex husband. He turned his life to drugs. And his mother still loves him but from a distance. He’s in Oregon and she’s in Florida. And I did have unconditional love for him when we were together and it was only us. I put up with a lot of emotional and mental abuse. However, when we had a daughter it changed due to her safety and needs. He would leave his coke residue on the table and expect me to clean it up that’s when it was a Problem because what if my daughter stuck her hand in it by mistake as she was learning how to walk and then put it in her mouth! This is why I left him because of the safety of my child. Mind you I was very ignorant to the drug game as I have never done a drug or smoked a cigarette in my life and I am 40 years old. So I would believe whatever he told me when we were together about the drugs because people would ask me didn’t u know he did drugs and I did but tbh I thought it was like people who like drink but socially. Not like an alcoholic. He was both - drug addict and alcoholic. I definitely had rose colored glasses on and loved unconditionally. Until my daughter was put into it.
Having unconditional love for someone (other than your kids) isn’t healthy. You need conditions for spouses to hold standards. No cheating, lying, etc. This not only keeps you at a higher level, but raises the bar for them to act at a higher level. The plan is to never stay where you are, but always grow.
It also keeps you safe there are women everyday that die from abusive partners that's why it pisses me off when people say o you should just stick it out and shit like that
Having unconditional love for people other than your kids is very healthy. Using your logic then you kids can do whatever they want because you love them unconditionally rihlght? Wrong. That is not what unconditional love means. God loves the world unconditionally but many people are still going to he'll for choosing not to receive salvation. Would toy let your 'child' put their hand in fire and leave them to it because toy love them unconditionally. Would you let them swear at you or hit you with no consequences. If you're answer is no which anyone who is sane would say no, then I hope I helped you to understand what unconditional love is and isn't.
Falling in love is the risk, the risk that it will end or not be reciprocated. Love isn’t a sacrifice- love is a GIFT and bond founded on shared morals and values.
Well most of them were adolescent and adult marriages. Most likely never had a choice on being single because of being labeled “property” 🤷♀️. There’s a lot of elders who stayed together because of societal norms.
@@thebaddest127998 I don't disagree with your evaluation of age. But they did have a choice. Divorce was an option. Societal norm could have played a part but more likely religious upbringing was more influential. Those generations didn't have multiple sexual partners before marrying. They made a commitment and stuck with it bc an oath before God was made. The sacrifices were taught as part of that holy matrimony. Today's society doesn't have the same philosophy but that doesn't negate that sacrifices are ultimate gifts of love. It is still taught. But many now don't have influence from the previous generation to guide them. Their societal norm teaches ya don't like something quit and move on. Rinse and repeat. It's very self centered and misguided love.
@@KudzuCackalacky past generations put up with abuse and infidelity because they were told they must. They stayed in loveless unhappy marriages until the day they died because they were told to. Sure people do leave for superficial reasons, but people also leave because they respect themselves enough to not put up with being treated like crap.
I hope someday you find someone who treats you with respect and doesn't have you constantly watching your back. Doing just that was the best decision I've ever made. It's easy to call it love and call it a day but at the end of the day when you can't trust someone and they make you question your selfworth, that othe person is not loving you unconditionally. Take care of yourself ❤
i hate to say this, but Kendall doesn't seem like he loves Ashley. he's always so rude and blunt with her. but then again, may be his personality 🤷🏻♀️. just an intuitive observation.
I settled. Right into depression and suicidal thoughts. So always look after yourself first please... when you settle a part of you dies.. that fighting spirit in you wont ever burn the same again .. trust ... some will say thats you swallowing your pride and being a bigger person but we all know deep inside we die a little knowing our world will forever be distorted from the vision you initially had. Some people like myself have a heart that just cant quit on people and im sad to say thats my biggest affliction as well as my biggest blessing. I wish i had it in me to love myself more than i love those around me... but once i realized i settled for a lie i couldnt look at myself with any ounce of love.
I always had a deep fear of being cheated on because I was cheated on when I was younger. It was debilitating my current relationship. I went to therapy and she helped me work through everything and helped me understand why it was my greatest fear. She said she has a lot of clients who have been cheated on and stay are now in happy marriage. Nothing is black and white and people have such strong beliefs about this but at the end of the day it’s your marriage. If you want to stay, stay, if you want to end it, end it.
I can attest to what the therapist said! My husband and I are 3 years past a cheating incident and after repairing trust slowly but surely we've grown so much more in love. I think people get complacent and test boundaries and when they're hit with the reality of what their actions did and what they're losing they change for the better. Ik it doesn't always end up like that but if you have a partner who genuinely loves you and wants to work it out with you yall will be golden in the years to come
I have a couple non negotiables- Infidelity or Abuse. If either one of those present themselves at any point, (and I don’t care how long we would be together) there is no way I’d feel ok continuing to work on things with him. He knows that, and the feeling is mutual on both sides. People who have been married 30 plus years today grew up in a generation that wasn’t exposed until way later to social media or dating apps. It’s unfortunately so easy these days to be sneaky and we see it more with our generation and younger. Which is another reason I think divorce rates are so high now. Marriage is hard, because many days you CHOOSE love rather than feeling it unconditionally like you do with your kids. It’s weird to think about, but that’s how it is I guess 🤷🏻♀️💕
You're definitely right girl, that's also what makes the love you have with your partner so beautiful, because it's different and it's a choice. The choice to forgive someone's humanity and CHOOSE to love them? I don't want unconditional love from a partner, I want someone to look at me say "this is hard but I choose to go through this with you."
@@shell7142 unconditional love is without condition. I can't really choose to love my children like I do, however my partner and I can stop choosing to love eachother if the relationship deteriorated due to reasons within our boundaries. 🤗 It's a wonderful difference, each are so special in their regards.
I've known couples that was together for 30, 40 years. Through the good, bad and the ugly. If someone wants to leave you. I agree with Madea...Let them go.
Giiiiiiirl, if you just wanted to spin the block wit yo husband, just say that 😅 Girl it's your life. That's your whole husband and father to your children. You write your own book. We just along for the ride. You got to choose who along for your life. Good luck momma
Facts! I've been with my husband for 13 years so far and we have been thru some terrible terrible things yet we've made the decision to keep going and ride out the hard times to get to the good times.
love is a choice and it can be unconditional, BUT without trust a relationship is still nothing. you can love someone without trusting them enough to stay with them
Absolutely the truth! Relationships are constant work, its only easy early on & I dont think you can love a partner unconditionally, but your children, yes.
Absolutely I believe that the people who have stayed together for 40 or 30 years or longer have had to have unconditional love for one another and that is what marriage is
Yes. Theres a book "How To Stop The Pain". It says you are allowed to love someone and be kind to them no matter WHAT they've done to you. Your allowed to love.
I hope youre not mixing up unconditional love with self respect. They can and do co exist. You can love someone unconditionally, however if they hurt you or someone you love you may not want to be with them or associate with them anymore. It does not change the love. However when you have self love you preserve your peace and you dont keep people in your life who dont respect you and who continously hurt you. Ive been watching you for a while Ashley and whatever is holding you back maybe thinking that there is no one better for you, I promise there is a man looking for you that will love you and your kids and be faithful to you and give you everything you want and more❤
@Ashley Elliott I've been married for 35 years. We've never separated and we've never not loved each other. Now we've NOT liked each other many times in our life's. Anyone who says they never fight, never had hard times? Is a liar or have no communication and are bored beyond measure! My hubby and I learning from our mistakes, therefore making them lessons, have had a full, fun, crazy and at times hard life. But through it all , we raised 6 kid's (his, mine and ours) the baby is now 32! Lol 🤣 Time flies when you're having fun! And as far as unconditional love? It's achievable, but it comes with time. It comes with trial and error. It grows and grows stronger by the day. And now in our 60's? It's a miracle to have been able to grow into this strong, crazy and at times one of a kind love ❤ I believe everyone can attain this gift. When you get to the stage where when we do argue? And the old anger words "I'm leaving" or "get the hell out" come up, and we've literally started to lol because we know that NO ONE is going anywhere, because WE do NOT want to... and can't imagine our life's without each other ❤🥰😇🙏💯
a relationship having conditions doesn't mean the love does. you can love someone with your entire heart and still recognize it isn't possible for them to be in your life, in a healthy way.
I feel we can love kids unconditionally. We can try our best to love our spouse unconditionally. But it's hard asf at times. My parents have been married for 43 years. Love, understanding, respect, and good communication is what helped them. My dad has always seen my mom as an equal. Not a competitor or an object. He paid all the bills but never treated her less than because of it. I'm 38 and never ever heard them have an argument or disrespect each other. They're definitely why I know and believe in real.. true love. I hope to find that one day.
Yes girl!!! Relationships are a struggle. Good days, weeks, months.. Then bad days, weeks, months. Betrayed, forgiveness, all of that! No one fights to stay together anymore. Im happy for you❤. My great aunt was asked once if her husband of 60 years ever cheated and she said " we been together 60 years what do you think "
My entire family has been plagued by constant falling outs, like my mom and her mom; my brother and the rest of us; myself and my parents; my uncles and my family, etc. Now I'm raising my own kids, I used to think I should tell them the same lie of family is forever bla bla, but I've changed it to nobody owes you to stay in your life so you need to really make an effort with people you care about. Plus, relationships need constant attention and we continuously negotiate were we are with one another as we grow. There must be give and take and it has to be willingly given/taken.
I love my spouse unconditionally. His love is very conditional. It’s something I’ve realized recently and is hard because I give myself fully to this man and he still says it’s not enough and then withholds love.
I agree my love for my ex was unconditional until I had to keep forgiving the same mistakes . No growth and I spent moments of my life I can't get back ,and having my kids watch me be hurt .
I think it comes back to taking care of ourselves because how can we be helpful when we're not in a mentally healthy place. That's why boundaries are important and if they're crossed then things need to shift to a place where you can find peace and comfort again. You can love someone but still need space to learn and heal.
My parents have been married for 50 years with 0 infidelity. I think a big part of there awesome marriage is they have always gone to church and lived by the church they go too.
I agree with what Christine said below me. My first marriage was 11 years, 13 on paper. I learned everything I did not want in a marriage, we had 3 children together. The purpose of that relationship was to bring those three children on to this planet. My second marriage has been 18 years, if something triggers me I know it is me not him because it is usually the same thing that triggered me before. I tell my adult children do not worry about what society thinks, do what makes you happy because life it too short to live in regret.
Deep deep deep! Those long term marriages were daily choices everyday. We are a disposable society. And yes I feel like women specifically took a lot of crap for too long but hitting a rough patch doesn’t mean to throw it away!
Loving someone doesn't mean keeping them around no matter what they do. You can love someone unconditionally and also not keep them around to treat you like trash.
I love my husband unconditionally. Would I stay with him no matter what? NO... and I hold myself to that same standard. If he is not happy with me and needs to leave.. I understand. If I'm not happy with him.. I leave, he understands. That is unconditional love. Because we care about each others happiness. 22 years and we are still together with that understanding. But we respect each other as well and communicate.
Love, in a relationship, requires conditions: respect, communication, patience, trust, kindness. Otherwise it’s not going to work no matter how much you love them.
Well said. I was in a one-sided relationship. I did all the work, while he did all the lying and cheating. It doesnt work no matter how hard YOU try. Its a WE effort. It takes two to tango. If your dance partner is a corpse, its not going to ever work no matter how amazing and talented you are.
17 years in February and we hav faced every single insurmountable tragedy and setbacks that are devastating crippling and I cannot imagine what the next 20 years will hold I just want to spend it together that thought of forever is the unconditional love knowing what we went thru and getting thru whatever else is to come
Absolutely, me and my husband has been through everything a marriage can go through. And we can say 24 plus yrs here we are still together and happy 😊… if the love is true, you will get through it.
When you enter into a marriage you are vowing to love them till death do you part. Now when there is abuse and extra martial affairs that doesn't mean your love is gone. If your unable to work through it then you have to love each other enough to let each other go. ❤
No spouses love is conditional because you are conditioned to be there, to be faithful, to be trusting, and most of all to love each other for who they are. My husband and I got married only days after we met. We didn't concemate the marriage till about 6 weeks because we knew what we did was spontaneous and didn't know each other well. I fell in love by a week and just took ne 6 weeks to bring down my walls(been hurt a lot). So to me you can love your kid unconditionally but your spouse will always have conditions.
I've been with mine for 22 years. It was so good at first. But we've had our fair share of huge and small things. I think it's all about how much you care for that person and if you feel that they are worth the fight when it comes down to it.
Maybe not unconditionally. Once they do you wrong it shuts off that unconditional love you had. 😊 Of course those long lasting marriage’s have been through tough times and usually it’s the wife that has carried the whole relationship.
I think this is a valid point and in that perspective I can say I love my husband unconditionally however I can love him and leave him if I feel my boundaries and needs were not being respected.
I do believe you can love your spouse unconditionally. But I’ve also seen parents walk out of their own children’s lives and they never looked back. It’s all about what we choose to do in life. Love is a choice. And although it’s expected for a parent to love their own child/children “unconditionally,” that’s not always the case. I do see & understand your perspective on this topic Ashley.
I disagree. Marriage entails enduring various challenges. Having been married for 17 years, I am well aware that there will inevitably be both positive and negative experiences. I have zero tolerance for adultery as it is an unbreakable bond that I am unable to forgive. You must deeply contemplate the factors that led him to believe it was OK to disclose something so sacred with an individual of low moral character. Not merely a vagrant, but a vagrant who believes it is acceptable to discuss your relationship openly, particularly when she is an outsider. However, one must also consider the nature of the information he conveyed to her, which prompted her to feel at ease engaging in such actions.
Even if it is possible, and I'm sure some people do love spouses unconditionally, I wouldn't recommend it. If my husband ever stepped out, I'm done. Super done.
A partner only values you as much as you value yourself and you show them that but what you allow. My therapist told me in our FIRST session that boundaries mean how you allow other people to treat you.
This needs to be Talked about more. Not Everyone is Bound to Listen. Sometimes it Just Goes Straight To be Judgmental. Everyone Shows Love Differently And Approach It Different. Yes! People who had been together for so many years. I believe that they had a Rough time together . But They probably Find Ways to fix the problem instead of bashing things. or bringing up things from the past.
Ladies - unconditional love does NOT mean not having boundaries. Boundaries, respect, and trust are needed no matter what. Relationships are complicated but never sacrifice those 3 things.
Thank you for acknowledging that yall are back together (or at least working on things). Even as a public figure, u still have the right to privacy, so I appreciate u sharing ❤ Also, I hope u know that u never need to justify these kinda decisions to anyone, and ultimately I'm rooting for your happiness, whatever that may look like 🙂 God bless ❤❤
You can have love for someone unconditionally, but not want to be associated with them anymore because of the person they’ve become and the actions they’ve done. If u learn that your parent or child have murdered, would you want to be associated with them? I couldn’t, but deep down, I would still love them for who I thought they were before I found out. Your happiness and peace is irrelevant to how long you chain yourself to someone. I know many marriages who are still together and have been for years, but are constant pain, hurt, disappointment, but they are too afraid to leave for many reasons. The unknown, reputation, loneliness, etc… it’s up to the person to decide whether the relationship with all the pain that comes with it is worth fighting for or if venturing to the unknown or being alone is a better option. Cardi B and Kloe K are prime examples of staying in relationships for the sake of comfort and putting up with the negatives because to them, that’s better than the other end of the stick. Personally, I love being alone, having friends and family and not allowing someone to make me feel less than, disrespected or not value the important things that I value or worst make be throw away my values because they feel they are worth it. Unless, I meet someone who truly holds those same values. Being alone in this generation is far better than fighting for something that will not bring you peace. Maybe those cheaters will have better values and stop cheating in their 70s but then, you would have given all your youth for what? So you can enjoy the last few years of your life and have memories full of negative feelings? Anyways, that’s just my thoughts. Wish you all the best in discovering life, love and relationships. Whatever makes you happy and feels right to you is what matters most.
My husband also emotionally cheated and attempted to physically cheat. Bur he didn't trash talk me. He stepped out or tried to but he didn't drag my name in the process. Therapy helped us. Its been hard for me. Respect yourself.
Loving someone unconditionally does not mean not having boundaries. You can love someone but realize that you can't have them in your home, or that you can't have a relationship with them, or that they can't be trusted to be there for you. Loving someone does not mean giving them everything you have until there's nothing left. I think that's where people get confused about the word unconditionally. A parent can love a child that is an addict but also have to keep them at a distance. It's the same with people that you are in a relationship with. Can a relationship be unconditional? No. Not possible- because it requires two people to maintain a relationship.
There is a difference between someone have no respect for a relationship and doing whatever they want and someone making a mistake and being repentant. That’s why there are so many bitter single people in this country. People think that they deserve a perfect partner and the second that partner makes a mistake they run the other way. They are so busy trying to find a perfect relationship they don’t realize it takes actual work.
Boundaries are not conditions. It’s self love ave self respect. It’s a two way street, it has to be mutual authentically. Everyone has something to heal. But the foundation in a partnership has to be built on trust and integrity for the love to grow.
99% of the times if you forgive them they will just do it again. so you have a 1 percent chance of it not happening again. I think you are worth more than 1%. what do you think. you will only have yourself to blame when it happens again.
I think it’s possible to love your spouse with only one condition, which is that you never give up on each other. I pray for you and yes, for your marriage every day. I pray you can move past this and he can earn your trust again because when it was good, it was really beautiful to witness. You do exactly what you need to and most of us will support you all the way.
I think it's possible to love unconditionally... The love doesn't go away just because the storm turned into a hurricane... Eventually, it passes, though it leaves a lot of mess to clean up... What's hard is forgetting... It also depends on the type of person you are when it comes to forgiving, forgetting, and lifing in general... Forgetting is the biggest hurdle... At least learning to accept that it is, what it was , learn from it, then put it behind you... Don't allow situations, people, or the devil to make you think it's okay to continue to live in the past... You have the right to be happy. You deserve to be happy, so if loving your spouse keeps you happy, then you're truly living life the way you should...
For me a love for a child succeeds a love for a spouse, especially as a woman. I’ve never told a spouse “I love you unconditionally” maybe “you have a special place in my heart” or something. My love in relationships has conditions. My parents and children in my life showed me unconditional love so that’s who I have it for.
Honestly, that's what I try to be everyday. My husband has loved me through the worst of me. Showed me what unconditional means. There's this quote I love that says a couple needs to have two types of people, one who loves more and one who loves better. Unconditional love is the better way to love
Infidelity crosses the last line for me. Of course we all have to forgive our spouses for things they do; marriage is about love, forgiveness, *respect,* and learning to be *better together everyday.* That doesn’t mean we should forgive them for choosing someone else over you and your family. We can still love someone and not be with them, that’s what unconditional love is/can be. It doesn’t mean ‘unconditional support and enablement of bad habits/behavior’. If they showed they don’t love you unconditionally, then why put yourself and your family through the anguish and turmoil of staying with someone who cheated, especially if they were rude or disrespectful after they cheated and you knew. Unfortunately if you take them back, they’re more likely to cheat/choose someone else again since they shattered your trust already and you stuck with them. Why should they change? I couldn’t live with my thoughts or feelings afterwards knowing they already ran out and will likely do it again, especially if my kid has to be around to see it. One and done for me.
First of all, I am not about unconditional love. I have 3 adult children. The eldest.. not sure where she came from but set boundaries with her because if she was my friend. I would have kicked her to the curb long ago. Love is a funny term. All I will say is this. Respect and trust are the only things that matter to me. Once that trust and respect is gone. You are in the rear view mirror. The bridge will be torched so you are not coming back in my circle. I also swear age has to do with it. At 57... my life is my way or the highway. My husband also knows this.
Oh boy! Loving a spouse is not unconditional in my opinion. Sacrifices are obviously made but we all have our limits. However when it comes to blood I guess it's different (for me anyways ) I will love my parents unconditionally because they have sacrificed so much for me and I am who I am because of them
If you can be that attracted to a man with the emotional maturity of a baby good luck being happy, good luck being listened to, good luck being respected, and not lied to every single day. Good luck saving your kids from domestic relationships because you taught them they should stay with someone no matter how they treat you just cause youre obbsessed with them, you went from the coolest mom to the weakest
No, it can not be unconditional with a partner that would be unwise. You need conditions, boundaries, and consequences. If you keep forgiving, you will never be happy or have trust again. Personally, once a cheat, always a cheat, I am afraid.
Unconditional love does not mean acceptance of all behaviors, decisions, and choices. It is possible to love unconditionally and not remain married to the person.
Unconditional love is not the same as blindly trusting every word.
but it isnt really unconditional if you have… conditions, is it?
@@MaijaJaakolaThe definitions of behaviors, decisions and choices is not the same as conditions.
@@MaijaJaakola it is. Conditions are not If your spouse turns out to be a serial killer or a cheater lol that’s not a condition that’s something that should not even come into question in the first place.
@@MaijaJaakolaabsolutely not, she not saying I am going stop loving you because you cheated. She saying I still Love you, but you don’t get to abuse my love! Just because you’re not with someone does not mean you don’t love them. You love them enough to say this behavior is not okay.
I think she posted this because people are going off on her for going back to him
Not possible. Spouses earn trust, it’s not unconditionally.
They should have earned that trust before marriage then. That’s my opinion though. When you get married you become one, you choose to vow and promise ( normally under God) and I feel like promises just aren’t what they… are suppose to be? People are allowed to break promises now and it’s okay… break laws and it’s fine. This age has become so relaxed over things and they wonder why there is more pain and suffering of all kinds in the world. There’s no more truth, no more value to anything anymore… but that’s what you get when people want to live their life their way with not rules to follow, no traditions to upkeep and no value to hold to themselves and their spouse or future spouse
Yes, exactly! People these days make mistakes so easily… it’s disappointing and disgusting how many people do terrible things in a blink of an eye. Especially doing things like that to their own partner! Again, loving children should be unconditional. They might make a mistake that could lead you to be disappointed in them, but you should still love them and make that known. Partners, however, earn that love. Someone might have married their partner because they’re gentle and kind. If their partner starts abusing them, that trust is broken and you would probably resent them. What I’m trying to say is I think people should be more careful with what they say and do. So many bad things are acceptable today that shouldn’t be, like dr*gs and cheating on your partner. People should have a little more respect for themselves or they’ll probably regret what they did for the rest of their lives.
Its absolutely possible. Its not absolute. Possible is the key word. I can totally see it in the realm of possibility.
And they break it unconditionally lol
Do you believe that it's possible for parents to love their kids unconditionally?
Your life, your business. We're a bunch of people on the Internet who only see what you let us see.
And that's how it should be. You don't have to tell people the details, you don't owe us anything.
I don't think loving a spouse unconditionally is possible. But if you want to make things work, and you do it together, I think that it's possible to get through the really tough stuff.
Such a smart comment 😊
well said!
You are so right😊
facts
🙌🙌🙌🙌💞
I have been with my husband for 23yrs, since we were 17 and 18. This journey has been far from smooth. I personally, have fallen in and out of love many times. He's my human. Starting over has crossed my mind, yes many times, but i also have reminded myself that life is not perfect. I'm not perfect. As long as there's respect, love always comes back.
The sunk cost fallacy uphold the patriarchy, something to think about.
Someone who cheats on you doesn't respect you.
aw this is beautiful, thank you for sharing your perspective! its very helpful
I needed to read this. We are about to celebrate 11 years. Been together since 19 and 3 beautiful kids. I 100% agree with you, sis.
Same. I have been with my husband since I was 17, I am 37 now. There have definitely been many times it would have been easier to give up but sitting here today, I am soooo glad we didn’t. ❤
you can still love someone unconditionally and choose to not be with them for the way the treat you. You can love someone and still put yourself first 100%
Healthy boundries
AMEN
But If you leave them you'll eventually get over them and not be in love with them anymore
@@alexisjohnson5479 that's the end goal 😂
This…
I feel bad for her because this happened to her on the internet and he was trying to make her look bad. She deserves way better
People can be forgiven, people can change. Just because somebody makes a mistake we are suppose to cut off all ties? Maybe that’s why this world sucks anymore…. There’s never forgiveness just brokenness everywhere. If she chooses to hold to her vows/promises let her, she deserves to be treated better yes, but by her husband- if she chooses to
@@shell7142 so many have the definition of forgiveness so wrong. You can forgive someone without reconciling. Forgiveness and reconciling do not have to go together because thats not what forgiveness is. Its for you and your mental health. Not the other person. You forgive and move on from the person who scarred you. Even if you decide to cut ties, thats ok too.. . It doesn't mean brokenness. It means leaving that dread behind and reparing your mental health so that you can move forward. I've been through a lot and decided I would never stay with a cheater ever again. I've been through that and I'm much stronger. Cheating IS NOT a mistake. It's a selfish choice that that the other person made. So yea, cheat once and its over. That's how it should be but if someone decides to forgive their cheating partner, that's also their decision to make
I do agree that people can change. But that's very risky. I hope he has changed and they can continue to live a happy healthy life
@shell7142 cheaters don’t change. they’re only sorry when they get caught. if they loved their partner, they would not make those decisions in the first place. this mindset of “people change” causes women to stay with men who will continue to think they can get away with things
@@user-yl4zq5vu9d while I agree that is true many times, I would like to challenge the all or nothing mindset. I did cheat on my partner, it was something that I was very ashamed of, and there is no excusing the choice I made. However, I took accountability, came clean to my partner, apologized and decided to change. We didn’t end up staying together, but I believe it was for the best. It’s been 10 years since that happened, and I have not come anywhere near cheating on anyone I’ve been in a relationship with since. I have been in therapy for 5+ years, made huge strides in my personal growth, learned what lead me to cheat in the first place, and really addressed all of those things and continue to do so. I know what pitfalls to avoid now, and am way more in touch with my inner self to avoid anything like that happening again. I do think it is extra hard for people who decide to stay together after cheating, and it requires a lot of extra work. But I don’t believe “once a cheater always a cheater” as a hard and fast rule, but I do think many people are unwilling to do the work to make true change in themselves because it’s hard and very uncomfortable, but in the end, very worth it.
Ppl can, and do change if they want to and get help.
With God ALL things are possible!
I know bc I’ve seen it in my life and others around me.
Marriages can bc saved.
We ALL need forgiveness for different things we’ve done. And when we offer forgiveness with someone that is remorseful, then the love can grow even stronger together. I’ve seen it and it is very real.
You don’t have to be with the person to show that you love them.
This is an underrated comment that more people need to understand 👏🏽
Exactly! And many parents love their kids from a distance too, especially if the kid is a drug user. I say this because of my ex husband. He turned his life to drugs. And his mother still loves him but from a distance. He’s in Oregon and she’s in Florida. And I did have unconditional love for him when we were together and it was only us. I put up with a lot of emotional and mental abuse. However, when we had a daughter it changed due to her safety and needs. He would leave his coke residue on the table and expect me to clean it up that’s when it was a
Problem because what if my daughter stuck her hand in it by mistake as she was learning how to walk and then put it in her mouth! This is why I left him because of the safety of my child. Mind you I was very ignorant to the drug game as I have never done a drug or smoked a cigarette in my life and I am 40 years old. So I would believe whatever he told me when we were together about the drugs because people would ask me didn’t u know he did drugs and I did but tbh I thought it was like people who like drink but socially. Not like an alcoholic. He was both - drug addict and alcoholic. I definitely had rose colored glasses on and loved unconditionally. Until my daughter was put into it.
@@crystalortega2156 People will walk all over your love if you let them. You have to have boundaries for your own self. Everyone has a limit.
I can love your from a distance and that distance is needed because I love and respect myself.
@@sweetnsoursusan I love what you said “everyone has a limit”. This is so true!
Having unconditional love for someone (other than your kids) isn’t healthy. You need conditions for spouses to hold standards. No cheating, lying, etc. This not only keeps you at a higher level, but raises the bar for them to act at a higher level. The plan is to never stay where you are, but always grow.
It also keeps you safe there are women everyday that die from abusive partners that's why it pisses me off when people say o you should just stick it out and shit like that
Having unconditional love for people other than your kids is very healthy. Using your logic then you kids can do whatever they want because you love them unconditionally rihlght? Wrong. That is not what unconditional love means. God loves the world unconditionally but many people are still going to he'll for choosing not to receive salvation. Would toy let your 'child' put their hand in fire and leave them to it because toy love them unconditionally. Would you let them swear at you or hit you with no consequences. If you're answer is no which anyone who is sane would say no, then I hope I helped you to understand what unconditional love is and isn't.
You deserve someone better. Someone who ALSO loves you unconditionally. And most importantly, someone who doesn't disrespect you
A white man 😅
@@Spiritually_Inclinded69 shit, atp maybe... no shade
Love is sacrifice. People who have been together for 50+ years have experienced this.
Falling in love is the risk, the risk that it will end or not be reciprocated. Love isn’t a sacrifice- love is a GIFT and bond founded on shared morals and values.
@@loa324 incorrect. Sacrifices are the ultimate gift of love.
Well most of them were adolescent and adult marriages. Most likely never had a choice on being single because of being labeled “property” 🤷♀️. There’s a lot of elders who stayed together because of societal norms.
@@thebaddest127998 I don't disagree with your evaluation of age. But they did have a choice. Divorce was an option. Societal norm could have played a part but more likely religious upbringing was more influential. Those generations didn't have multiple sexual partners before marrying. They made a commitment and stuck with it bc an oath before God was made. The sacrifices were taught as part of that holy matrimony. Today's society doesn't have the same philosophy but that doesn't negate that sacrifices are ultimate gifts of love. It is still taught. But many now don't have influence from the previous generation to guide them. Their societal norm teaches ya don't like something quit and move on. Rinse and repeat. It's very self centered and misguided love.
@@KudzuCackalacky past generations put up with abuse and infidelity because they were told they must. They stayed in loveless unhappy marriages until the day they died because they were told to. Sure people do leave for superficial reasons, but people also leave because they respect themselves enough to not put up with being treated like crap.
I hope someday you find someone who treats you with respect and doesn't have you constantly watching your back. Doing just that was the best decision I've ever made. It's easy to call it love and call it a day but at the end of the day when you can't trust someone and they make you question your selfworth, that othe person is not loving you unconditionally. Take care of yourself ❤
i hate to say this, but Kendall doesn't seem like he loves Ashley. he's always so rude and blunt with her. but then again, may be his personality 🤷🏻♀️.
just an intuitive observation.
I settled. Right into depression and suicidal thoughts. So always look after yourself first please... when you settle a part of you dies.. that fighting spirit in you wont ever burn the same again .. trust ... some will say thats you swallowing your pride and being a bigger person but we all know deep inside we die a little knowing our world will forever be distorted from the vision you initially had. Some people like myself have a heart that just cant quit on people and im sad to say thats my biggest affliction as well as my biggest blessing. I wish i had it in me to love myself more than i love those around me... but once i realized i settled for a lie i couldnt look at myself with any ounce of love.
I always had a deep fear of being cheated on because I was cheated on when I was younger. It was debilitating my current relationship. I went to therapy and she helped me work through everything and helped me understand why it was my greatest fear. She said she has a lot of clients who have been cheated on and stay are now in happy marriage. Nothing is black and white and people have such strong beliefs about this but at the end of the day it’s your marriage. If you want to stay, stay, if you want to end it, end it.
I can attest to what the therapist said! My husband and I are 3 years past a cheating incident and after repairing trust slowly but surely we've grown so much more in love. I think people get complacent and test boundaries and when they're hit with the reality of what their actions did and what they're losing they change for the better. Ik it doesn't always end up like that but if you have a partner who genuinely loves you and wants to work it out with you yall will be golden in the years to come
@@deh.2196 I’m so happy y’all were able to come back and be even stronger 💛
@@deh.2196did he cheat? Men expect you to take them back but wouldn’t take you back for cheating 🫢
We as people need to let her heal. We will pray for you SGT, keep healing.
It's up to you and you don't owe anyone an explanation. We are here for you and your content. ❤ Nothing but well wishes
Well said.
I have a couple non negotiables- Infidelity or Abuse. If either one of those present themselves at any point, (and I don’t care how long we would be together) there is no way I’d feel ok continuing to work on things with him. He knows that, and the feeling is mutual on both sides. People who have been married 30 plus years today grew up in a generation that wasn’t exposed until way later to social media or dating apps. It’s unfortunately so easy these days to be sneaky and we see it more with our generation and younger. Which is another reason I think divorce rates are so high now. Marriage is hard, because many days you CHOOSE love rather than feeling it unconditionally like you do with your kids. It’s weird to think about, but that’s how it is I guess 🤷🏻♀️💕
Loving unconditionally doesn't mean you have to be with that person to love them.
Love who you want. As long as you keep dropping content. We love you and your family ❤️❤️❤️
You're definitely right girl, that's also what makes the love you have with your partner so beautiful, because it's different and it's a choice. The choice to forgive someone's humanity and CHOOSE to love them? I don't want unconditional love from a partner, I want someone to look at me say "this is hard but I choose to go through this with you."
But that’s is unconditional love :)
Amen to that
@@shell7142... Yeah, more or less 🤷♂️😂😂😂
@@shell7142 unconditional love is without condition. I can't really choose to love my children like I do, however my partner and I can stop choosing to love eachother if the relationship deteriorated due to reasons within our boundaries. 🤗 It's a wonderful difference, each are so special in their regards.
I've known couples that was together for 30, 40 years. Through the good, bad and the ugly. If someone wants to leave you. I agree with Madea...Let them go.
Giiiiiiirl, if you just wanted to spin the block wit yo husband, just say that 😅 Girl it's your life. That's your whole husband and father to your children. You write your own book. We just along for the ride. You got to choose who along for your life. Good luck momma
Love who u want. We all love u and we will always support ur decision and actions. Do what makes u happy Ashley ❤
Facts! I've been with my husband for 13 years so far and we have been thru some terrible terrible things yet we've made the decision to keep going and ride out the hard times to get to the good times.
love is a choice and it can be unconditional, BUT without trust a relationship is still nothing. you can love someone without trusting them enough to stay with them
Absolutely the truth! Relationships are constant work, its only easy early on & I dont think you can love a partner unconditionally, but your children, yes.
Absolutely I believe that the people who have stayed together for 40 or 30 years or longer have had to have unconditional love for one another and that is what marriage is
I dunno. If my spouse publicly embarrassed me in front of millions I do not think I would be so graceful.
Yes. Theres a book "How To Stop The Pain". It says you are allowed to love someone and be kind to them no matter WHAT they've done to you. Your allowed to love.
Ash unconditional love is absolutely real and how it should be. Unless someone REALLY is out of pocket, love that man baby.
I feel like I don't even love myself unconditionally!
I hope youre not mixing up unconditional love with self respect. They can and do co exist. You can love someone unconditionally, however if they hurt you or someone you love you may not want to be with them or associate with them anymore. It does not change the love. However when you have self love you preserve your peace and you dont keep people in your life who dont respect you and who continously hurt you. Ive been watching you for a while Ashley and whatever is holding you back maybe thinking that there is no one better for you, I promise there is a man looking for you that will love you and your kids and be faithful to you and give you everything you want and more❤
@Ashley Elliott I've been married for 35 years. We've never separated and we've never not loved each other. Now we've NOT liked each other many times in our life's. Anyone who says they never fight, never had hard times? Is a liar or have no communication and are bored beyond measure! My hubby and I learning from our mistakes, therefore making them lessons, have had a full, fun, crazy and at times hard life. But through it all , we raised 6 kid's (his, mine and ours) the baby is now 32! Lol 🤣 Time flies when you're having fun! And as far as unconditional love? It's achievable, but it comes with time. It comes with trial and error. It grows and grows stronger by the day. And now in our 60's? It's a miracle to have been able to grow into this strong, crazy and at times one of a kind love ❤ I believe everyone can attain this gift. When you get to the stage where when we do argue? And the old anger words "I'm leaving" or "get the hell out" come up, and we've literally started to lol because we know that NO ONE is going anywhere, because WE do NOT want to... and can't imagine our life's without each other ❤🥰😇🙏💯
You can love anyone unconditionally, you can also love them unconditionally and put up gigantic boundaries to protect yourself.
a relationship having conditions doesn't mean the love does.
you can love someone with your entire heart and still recognize it isn't possible for them to be in your life, in a healthy way.
I’ve been cheated on. And no I couldn’t get over it 😢
So in my case that is the condition !
No love should be unconditional.
I feel we can love kids unconditionally. We can try our best to love our spouse unconditionally. But it's hard asf at times. My parents have been married for 43 years. Love, understanding, respect, and good communication is what helped them. My dad has always seen my mom as an equal. Not a competitor or an object. He paid all the bills but never treated her less than because of it. I'm 38 and never ever heard them have an argument or disrespect each other. They're definitely why I know and believe in real.. true love. I hope to find that one day.
Yes girl!!! Relationships are a struggle. Good days, weeks, months.. Then bad days, weeks, months. Betrayed, forgiveness, all of that! No one fights to stay together anymore. Im happy for you❤. My great aunt was asked once if her husband of 60 years ever cheated and she said " we been together 60 years what do you think "
We are your audience and customers - keeping your personal business private is what any adult should appreciate.
👏🏽
My entire family has been plagued by constant falling outs, like my mom and her mom; my brother and the rest of us; myself and my parents; my uncles and my family, etc.
Now I'm raising my own kids, I used to think I should tell them the same lie of family is forever bla bla, but I've changed it to nobody owes you to stay in your life so you need to really make an effort with people you care about.
Plus, relationships need constant attention and we continuously negotiate were we are with one another as we grow. There must be give and take and it has to be willingly given/taken.
I love my spouse unconditionally. His love is very conditional. It’s something I’ve realized recently and is hard because I give myself fully to this man and he still says it’s not enough and then withholds love.
I agree my love for my ex was unconditional until I had to keep forgiving the same mistakes . No growth and I spent moments of my life I can't get back ,and having my kids watch me be hurt .
I think it comes back to taking care of ourselves because how can we be helpful when we're not in a mentally healthy place. That's why boundaries are important and if they're crossed then things need to shift to a place where you can find peace and comfort again. You can love someone but still need space to learn and heal.
My parents have been married for 50 years with 0 infidelity. I think a big part of there awesome marriage is they have always gone to church and lived by the church they go too.
Even people who love by the church separate. Your parents found the perfect mate.
I agree with what Christine said below me. My first marriage was 11 years, 13 on paper. I learned everything I did not want in a marriage, we had 3 children together. The purpose of that relationship was to bring those three children on to this planet. My second marriage has been 18 years, if something triggers me I know it is me not him because it is usually the same thing that triggered me before. I tell my adult children do not worry about what society thinks, do what makes you happy because life it too short to live in regret.
Deep deep deep! Those long term marriages were daily choices everyday. We are a disposable society. And yes I feel like women specifically took a lot of crap for too long but hitting a rough patch doesn’t mean to throw it away!
Loving someone doesn't mean keeping them around no matter what they do. You can love someone unconditionally and also not keep them around to treat you like trash.
How does that INHERENTLY make any sense whatsoever...
I love my husband unconditionally. Would I stay with him no matter what? NO... and I hold myself to that same standard. If he is not happy with me and needs to leave.. I understand. If I'm not happy with him.. I leave, he understands. That is unconditional love. Because we care about each others happiness. 22 years and we are still together with that understanding. But we respect each other as well and communicate.
Marriage is a contract, and contracts come with conditions.
I had an ex that told me the only time I ever made him happy is when I bought him gifts.
Love, in a relationship, requires conditions: respect, communication, patience, trust, kindness. Otherwise it’s not going to work no matter how much you love them.
Well said. I was in a one-sided relationship. I did all the work, while he did all the lying and cheating. It doesnt work no matter how hard YOU try. Its a WE effort. It takes two to tango. If your dance partner is a corpse, its not going to ever work no matter how amazing and talented you are.
There's no such thing as a smooth ride in relationships. It last longer through forgiveness. it's a hard pill to swallow, but no one is perfect.
17 years in February and we hav faced every single insurmountable tragedy and setbacks that are devastating crippling and I cannot imagine what the next 20 years will hold I just want to spend it together that thought of forever is the unconditional love knowing what we went thru and getting thru whatever else is to come
Absolutely, me and my husband has been through everything a marriage can go through. And we can say 24 plus yrs here we are still together and happy 😊… if the love is true, you will get through it.
Been there.....I can promise you they don't change. But it's always your choice.
When you enter into a marriage you are vowing to love them till death do you part. Now when there is abuse and extra martial affairs that doesn't mean your love is gone. If your unable to work through it then you have to love each other enough to let each other go. ❤
No spouses love is conditional because you are conditioned to be there, to be faithful, to be trusting, and most of all to love each other for who they are. My husband and I got married only days after we met. We didn't concemate the marriage till about 6 weeks because we knew what we did was spontaneous and didn't know each other well. I fell in love by a week and just took ne 6 weeks to bring down my walls(been hurt a lot). So to me you can love your kid unconditionally but your spouse will always have conditions.
I've been with mine for 22 years. It was so good at first. But we've had our fair share of huge and small things. I think it's all about how much you care for that person and if you feel that they are worth the fight when it comes down to it.
Maybe not unconditionally. Once they do you wrong it shuts off that unconditional love you had. 😊 Of course those long lasting marriage’s have been through tough times and usually it’s the wife that has carried the whole relationship.
yea no love should have conditions.
I think this is a valid point and in that perspective I can say I love my husband unconditionally however I can love him and leave him if I feel my boundaries and needs were not being respected.
I do believe you can love your spouse unconditionally. But I’ve also seen parents walk out of their own children’s lives and they never looked back.
It’s all about what we choose to do in life. Love is a choice.
And although it’s expected for a parent to love their own child/children “unconditionally,” that’s not always the case.
I do see & understand your perspective on this topic Ashley.
I disagree. Marriage entails enduring various challenges. Having been married for 17 years, I am well aware that there will inevitably be both positive and negative experiences. I have zero tolerance for adultery as it is an unbreakable bond that I am unable to forgive. You must deeply contemplate the factors that led him to believe it was OK to disclose something so sacred with an individual of low moral character. Not merely a vagrant, but a vagrant who believes it is acceptable to discuss your relationship openly, particularly when she is an outsider. However, one must also consider the nature of the information he conveyed to her, which prompted her to feel at ease engaging in such actions.
Auntie peaches, you better preach 👏🏾
Even if it is possible, and I'm sure some people do love spouses unconditionally, I wouldn't recommend it. If my husband ever stepped out, I'm done. Super done.
Unconditional love is only possible for our mothers, fathers, children. Our immediate family.
There is alot of parents that oove their children with conditions....but unconditional love isn't real
I love how u made me think. I like these deep thought videos! I would love to hear more
A partner only values you as much as you value yourself and you show them that but what you allow. My therapist told me in our FIRST session that boundaries mean
how you allow other people to treat you.
This needs to be Talked about more.
Not Everyone is Bound to Listen. Sometimes it Just Goes Straight To be Judgmental.
Everyone Shows Love Differently And Approach It Different.
Yes! People who had been together for so many years. I believe that they had a Rough time together .
But
They probably Find Ways to fix the problem instead of bashing things.
or bringing up things from the past.
Ladies - unconditional love does NOT mean not having boundaries. Boundaries, respect, and trust are needed no matter what. Relationships are complicated but never sacrifice those 3 things.
Thank you for acknowledging that yall are back together (or at least working on things). Even as a public figure, u still have the right to privacy, so I appreciate u sharing ❤
Also, I hope u know that u never need to justify these kinda decisions to anyone, and ultimately I'm rooting for your happiness, whatever that may look like 🙂 God bless ❤❤
You can have love for someone unconditionally, but not want to be associated with them anymore because of the person they’ve become and the actions they’ve done. If u learn that your parent or child have murdered, would you want to be associated with them? I couldn’t, but deep down, I would still love them for who I thought they were before I found out.
Your happiness and peace is irrelevant to how long you chain yourself to someone. I know many marriages who are still together and have been for years, but are constant pain, hurt, disappointment, but they are too afraid to leave for many reasons. The unknown, reputation, loneliness, etc… it’s up to the person to decide whether the relationship with all the pain that comes with it is worth fighting for or if venturing to the unknown or being alone is a better option.
Cardi B and Kloe K are prime examples of staying in relationships for the sake of comfort and putting up with the negatives because to them, that’s better than the other end of the stick.
Personally, I love being alone, having friends and family and not allowing someone to make me feel less than, disrespected or not value the important things that I value or worst make be throw away my values because they feel they are worth it. Unless, I meet someone who truly holds those same values. Being alone in this generation is far better than fighting for something that will not bring you peace. Maybe those cheaters will have better values and stop cheating in their 70s but then, you would have given all your youth for what? So you can enjoy the last few years of your life and have memories full of negative feelings? Anyways, that’s just my thoughts.
Wish you all the best in discovering life, love and relationships. Whatever makes you happy and feels right to you is what matters most.
My husband also emotionally cheated and attempted to physically cheat. Bur he didn't trash talk me. He stepped out or tried to but he didn't drag my name in the process. Therapy helped us. Its been hard for me. Respect yourself.
Loving someone unconditionally does not mean not having boundaries. You can love someone but realize that you can't have them in your home, or that you can't have a relationship with them, or that they can't be trusted to be there for you. Loving someone does not mean giving them everything you have until there's nothing left.
I think that's where people get confused about the word unconditionally. A parent can love a child that is an addict but also have to keep them at a distance. It's the same with people that you are in a relationship with. Can a relationship be unconditional? No. Not possible- because it requires two people to maintain a relationship.
Thanks for sharing this with us I hope people learn from your words ❤have a blessed day 💗
There is a difference between someone have no respect for a relationship and doing whatever they want and someone making a mistake and being repentant. That’s why there are so many bitter single people in this country. People think that they deserve a perfect partner and the second that partner makes a mistake they run the other way. They are so busy trying to find a perfect relationship they don’t realize it takes actual work.
Boundaries are not conditions. It’s self love ave self respect. It’s a two way street, it has to be mutual authentically. Everyone has something to heal. But the foundation in a partnership has to be built on trust and integrity for the love to grow.
99% of the times if you forgive them they will just do it again. so you have a 1 percent chance of it not happening again. I think you are worth more than 1%. what do you think. you will only have yourself to blame when it happens again.
This is so true thanks for the message ❤❤❤😊
I think it’s possible to love your spouse with only one condition, which is that you never give up on each other. I pray for you and yes, for your marriage every day. I pray you can move past this and he can earn your trust again because when it was good, it was really beautiful to witness. You do exactly what you need to and most of us will support you all the way.
We are always here for you! And i understand u.❤
I think unconditional love is for children. Once people are adults, you don’t have to love them if they are abusive or just bad to you
Absolutely not for a spouse.
I think your business is your business. Do in life what makes you happy, whatever that may be. 😊
I think it's possible to love unconditionally... The love doesn't go away just because the storm turned into a hurricane... Eventually, it passes, though it leaves a lot of mess to clean up... What's hard is forgetting... It also depends on the type of person you are when it comes to forgiving, forgetting, and lifing in general... Forgetting is the biggest hurdle... At least learning to accept that it is, what it was , learn from it, then put it behind you... Don't allow situations, people, or the devil to make you think it's okay to continue to live in the past... You have the right to be happy. You deserve to be happy, so if loving your spouse keeps you happy, then you're truly living life the way you should...
I don’t know how things are for you right now but I’m sending you love and positivity. Take care of yourself
I am capable of forgiving my spouse (& have) … families are worth fighting for. ❤️❤️
You're right children get love unconditionally men don't because if the conditions change the love goes away.
Honestly, aint nothin good out here anyways, yall definitely made the right decision to stick it out yall some troopers fr 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
For me a love for a child succeeds a love for a spouse, especially as a woman. I’ve never told a spouse “I love you unconditionally” maybe “you have a special place in my heart” or something. My love in relationships has conditions. My parents and children in my life showed me unconditional love so that’s who I have it for.
Honestly, that's what I try to be everyday. My husband has loved me through the worst of me. Showed me what unconditional means. There's this quote I love that says a couple needs to have two types of people, one who loves more and one who loves better. Unconditional love is the better way to love
Infidelity crosses the last line for me. Of course we all have to forgive our spouses for things they do; marriage is about love, forgiveness, *respect,* and learning to be *better together everyday.* That doesn’t mean we should forgive them for choosing someone else over you and your family. We can still love someone and not be with them, that’s what unconditional love is/can be. It doesn’t mean ‘unconditional support and enablement of bad habits/behavior’. If they showed they don’t love you unconditionally, then why put yourself and your family through the anguish and turmoil of staying with someone who cheated, especially if they were rude or disrespectful after they cheated and you knew. Unfortunately if you take them back, they’re more likely to cheat/choose someone else again since they shattered your trust already and you stuck with them. Why should they change? I couldn’t live with my thoughts or feelings afterwards knowing they already ran out and will likely do it again, especially if my kid has to be around to see it. One and done for me.
First of all, I am not about unconditional love. I have 3 adult children. The eldest.. not sure where she came from but set boundaries with her because if she was my friend. I would have kicked her to the curb long ago. Love is a funny term. All I will say is this. Respect and trust are the only things that matter to me. Once that trust and respect is gone. You are in the rear view mirror. The bridge will be torched so you are not coming back in my circle. I also swear age has to do with it. At 57... my life is my way or the highway. My husband also knows this.
Oh boy! Loving a spouse is not unconditional in my opinion. Sacrifices are obviously made but we all have our limits. However when it comes to blood I guess it's different (for me anyways ) I will love my parents unconditionally because they have sacrificed so much for me and I am who I am because of them
No, I don't think that's possible.
Good message ash! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
If the love is unconditional unbelievably strong and solid then yes. But both parties have to be willing and wanting the same thing regardless.
If you can be that attracted to a man with the emotional maturity of a baby good luck being happy, good luck being listened to, good luck being respected, and not lied to every single day. Good luck saving your kids from domestic relationships because you taught them they should stay with someone no matter how they treat you just cause youre obbsessed with them, you went from the coolest mom to the weakest
No, it can not be unconditional with a partner that would be unwise. You need conditions, boundaries, and consequences. If you keep forgiving, you will never be happy or have trust again. Personally, once a cheat, always a cheat, I am afraid.
If she is back with her husband, that is her business. If not, that's her business too, I need some combat Gel..