my year of celibacy & singlehood
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- čas přidán 4. 07. 2024
- sometimes you just need a break from dating
sharing the lessons, challenges, & outcome of my year of celibacy & singlehood that was MUCH needed as a girl in her 20s trying to figure herself out. i hope this helps at least one person! love y'all sm!
timestamps:
0:00-2:47 intro/disclaimer
2:47 the lead up
19:37 celibacy (& eventually singlehood)
30:57 some last little tips
podcast: spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/...
ig: / lynetteadki
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i missed y'all!! i hope you are doing well, love you guys so much!
cant wait ot listen to this one
I’m a woman in her late 30’s. I’ve been having a lot of conversations with women in their 20’s. Usually, it’s them asking me for advice about the men they are attracted to. More so on a lust level. The advice that I give, is the advice I wish I was told when I was younger. If you’re seeking sexual pleasure, invest in high quality sex toys. Get to know your body before allowing others to do that.
i love this advice, thank you
should be stop seeking sexual pleasure and find god and a passion LOL
I agree! I’m in my late 20s, sex toys>casual sex. No more feeling shitty afterwords
I would not recommend the toys.
Men distract me sometimes, especially if he checks off all my boxes. But I noticed I’m very productive when I’m single. In a perfect world I can have both. Hoping to attract someone who’s an asset while also pouring into myself first 😮💨
girl same
I’ve been on my celibacy journey for 4 years now and it was the best decision that I made for myself.
It’s when I’m most at peace with myself that my deepest love connections come through, when I’m not searching for it.
yesss
I have never dated in my life and I'm 23 and I'm still a virgin. The reason why I don't ever want to be in a romantic relationship is because I'm focusing on what I want to achieve and bettering myself in any way also I want to be single until I die . Thanks for reminding some people like me who are still single and virgins
Your time will come and it most likely happen when you're not looking and feeling good about yourself. ❤️
@@jasminegayle I almost feel good about myself almost everytime. I respect your opinion but I just want to be single until I die, no gf and no children
@@jasminegayletrue words. Happened for me after my dad died. My head was not in the right place at all. And lots of other life changes I was avoiding. The relationship was such a distraction for what I should have been working through. But hindsight and all that
@@sandiletwala3001 oh my bad. I misread your comment! You can live a happy life without a partner. Meant no harm! Take care. ❤️
❤❤❤
im muslim, 37 and never been in a relationship so i dont know what i missing out on. tbh i enjoy my single life. i feel free.
YOU ARE FREE
💕💗
I love this!
I’m 26 and been single my whole life, still desire relationship one day but happy currently❤
Now in a world we're raised to centre men around our existence, being single or even abstaining or being celibate is a powerful thing to do . I'm 21 and I've recently became celibate and i am actively taking steps to change my life , I'm tired of everything being about men ,I'm tired of not it being about myself, I'm tired of sitting in my traumas and not doing anything about it ,I'm tired of not living the life i do not want ,I'm tired of having to heal from traumas i didn't ask for and i am taking all my power back .
I’ve recently hit 12 months and it’s been so freeing and healing. I have gained so much discipline that even a kiss doesn’t push me to be in the mood to do the do. I really liked how you shed light about that sadness and disgust. I eventually got tired of feeling like it was something wrong with me or that I was broken. After watching this, I now realized both my mind and soul just were watching out for me and this was the best decision. I’m “ selfish” with my body and peace and that’s ok! Thank you so much for sharing your insights on this topic!❤
I’ve been a virgin for most of my life until one day I finally had sex. I really liked this person and wanted to continue a relationship but they only saw it as a hookup and so now I’m back to being abstinent again. After that one experience I realized it’s not worth having sex with someone who’s emotionally unavailable and doesn’t have genuine feelings for me.
Right now I’m not dating and it’s easier to stay abstinent when I don’t like anyone but the real test will come when I start dating again.
Fun fact to all the ladies out there if a guy wants to sleep with you on your 1st date then he’s not serious and he is not looking for a committed relationship. If he has that in mind then he wants to play with you. This is all what I witnessed from guys I know. Remember that you have the power to say no. Don’t be afraid of that.
i'm healing from an 11 year relationship and 6 of those years i was married. everyday is a rollercoaster but i can't wait to see what God has in store for me.. taking it one day at a time..
wishing you all the best, you got this
You got it girl 🙆🏻♀️💅🏻✨keep going
Been celibate for almost three years. I’ve leveled up in every way. So amazing what you’re doing for yourself. It’s honestly a great thing to experience at least once as a woman. Actually use your time of celibacy to pour into yourself and learn yourself.
🙌🙌
and you’re glowing
I’ve been on the exact same journey (2yrs) so this video definitely resonated with me. Honestly all of your videos do 🫶🏾. But yeah the pouring into yourself thing is so real. I had no idea how much of a people pleaser I was and I would only give myself the leftovers of my time, energy, and love. Around the end of 2022 I made a pivotal shift in my life to give to myself first and everything changed for the better. I started learning about self awareness (books & YT videos) and being present. Celibacy was kind of a side effect of that I guess 😂
it sounds like we've been on similar journeys! it's so nice to take that time for yourself, it definitely bleeds into other areas of life
Lynette I feel like we're on the same wave length and path of ascension which is weird to say but true. Your videos are always aligned with what I'm going through. I've been intentionally celibate from since January of last year and I've experienced the most dramatic mental shift where i moved from the constant performance for others to a state of clarity and self love that I never thought I would achieve. Putting myself first in all ways literally healed my soul and completely changed my life and I'm so grateful that I went on this journey. I wish every woman is able to experience this at some point in their life.
‘putting myself first in all ways literally healed my soul’ yes!! you said it all perfectly. love this for you!❤️
I been there and done that what you going through years ago but one thing I learned was even though I was celibate for years and still am , I was never mentally. I always have love on my mind and make love to a imaginary women mentally and still do. It tricks the ego into thinking your in love and eventually true love comes physically. True love is the best , it can't be denied , its the greatest power in the universe to know God in this way by loving a women and yes one needs to love everything else like your hobbies and work to keep you busy and keep you happy but in the end a love with a true partner is divine and is always on my mind. There is no other feeling greater than to love a women and to be her partner. I make sure to be in that vibe all the time , I do love songs as musician , I watch love movies , I laugh at comedy entertainment and most important I pray over people that need help weather it's money or love or health. Love is so grand , it makes your whole body filled with energy more that any exsersice can even do even though I walk a lot regardless . Love with another women and making her laugh and happy is so beautiful , even though it's imaginary. And this will come physically because this is God's law. Whatever happens mentally because physical.
This was perfectly put
Girl go you! I am a 26 year vigin waitng for the man God has for me❤😊😊
Me too, same age and everything! Rooting for you 🩵
Three years single and celibate. The greatest gift I've given to myself. 😊❤✊🙏
welcome back ❤️
MISSED U. my favourite YT girlie you are so inspiring truly have loved watching you glow uppppp xxxx
I haven't dated since my last and only relationship ended when I was 30. Not due to falling out of love, but my ex boyfriend and I were in a long distance relationship and neither of us earned enough income to make it work. The few times I've been out on coffee dates since, I find that when guys find out I'm abstinent that they lose interest so quickly. It gets confusing because sometimes guys have seemed super interested in me and then find out my values and then change their minds. It makes me wonder if I'll ever meet the guy I'm meant to be with.
Coming out of a 4 year relationship and I’ve been having a hard time letting go out of fear of being alone. This video resonated so much ❤ I’m scared to be alone 😭 but it’s time..
me too girl :( we're gunna get through it
so relatable, got out of a 4.5 year relationship 2 months ago...so scared to be alone. Its a genuine fear. Especially since I'm 29 going on 30. Trusting that everything will unfold how it should. Sending love your way
over two years of celibacy here and its amazing!!! i feel seen and heard, thank you love!
I really enjoy your dating videos. You’re very courageous for being vulnerable and being authentic in your videos because not a lot of people can do that. I hope the best for you Lynette. It’s good to see you back.
I love these conversations so much. It helps me put the things that Ive been experiencing into words. The celibacy, dating in your 20s, deciding to be selfish and firm on your boundaries, de-centering men and dating altogether. Everything!! You verbalized it all so well! 😩
Your videos are genuinely so healing, thank you so much for sharing your learnings and being vulnerable. You’ve empowered us💕
Yes yes yes! I’m currently on the same journey after 20 years of dating non stop. The amount of things I’m learning (about myself and the world around me) is amazing and I’m so happy I embarked on this journey a little bit more than a year ago.
Much love to you sis ❤
I love this video, especially the idea of focusing on what you're adding rather than what you're missing when making a life decision.
I can’t speak for all men but I realized by 17 that I had a lot of things to work on before I could call my self a man let alone the walls I’ve built for women from my past childhood & before I realized that a damaged a lot of women/girls from when I was 13-17 I realized I was just passing more emotional damage to people not even knowing it was on purpose since thn I’ve just been by myself working & trying to keep a positive mindset… im 23 Now but i feel 57
always love your videos lynette! i’ve been focusing on myself and my mental health this past year and a half and i’ve found a lot of inner peace. i finally feel like i’m at a point where i am actually emotionally available but would rather kick it with myself, which is so nice bc it shows how much power i hold in my own life. this video resonated with me a lot so thanks for talking about it. you’re the best :)
Thanks for sharing, Lynette. Your authenticity is so refreshing ❤
thankyou for sharing so authentically. You're so right about this universal journey we go through as young woman.
i feel less alone, thankyou
Thank you for sharing Lynette. It’s baby steps for me but your videos really help
love this video so much needed to hear this
This helped me so mission accomplished already 💕! When one woman is creative and free I like to believe we all benefit in some way if we’re aware of the connection. Thank you
Thank you so much for making this video! I just started my celibacy journey and it’s so great to see what the other side of it looks like.
Such an amazing video. I needed to hear this!!
i love ur videos so much !
Your words are always so wiseeeeee
the war in gaza has really opened my eyes. their level of faith is something i envy and wish to have that level of faith. the body dies but soul will live on forever in paradise. thats what we seek for in life not the rat race.
This episode for sure resonated with me
new subscriber here
This has been my journey ❤ thank you for sharing ❤ we have been conditioned to seek love outside ourselves - when it has been within our heart all the time ❤
Yes EVERYTHING you said yes 👏🏾 The end of this year makes 2 years for me and it was a great decision. I no longer feel like I’m clouded with emotions and the passion (Aries sun, Scorpio moon) 😏 but I can now see clearly through the people I attract towards me. Being intentional with who I allow into my space and especially my sacred area. Honestly I didn’t realize how much time has actually passed because I too have been enjoying myself, pouring into myself. I realized I was disgusted with men and with myself for allowing people I wouldn’t even blink twice at now, into my world. But a lesson learned & when I started loving on myself everything shifted. The gym kickstarted the transformation. Being consistent, finding a way to channel that creative firey energy with recording videos, speaking my truth & making herbal infused products because of my “rediscovery” of the powers within the herbs, because it comes so naturally like I’ve known it before. Just overall giving to myself what I gave away so easily to men before. I also feel like I have been very isolated and not really speaking to anyone really, but it’s stages. My person & I will attract one another when things fall into place, so idk if it will be anytime soon but until then I’m not doing too much 💁🏾♀️ I’ve been working on me and the projects I want to fulfill so anyone not trying to move in the same direction and build with me, is a distraction lol. I can no longer allow myself to be distracted. Thanks for video, you always pop up when we need that confirmation to know we really aren’t alone ✨
So helpful. Thank you so much and I love how your moon is in cancer you’re emotional like me and that’s what stood out from the get go. You’re not holding back when it comes to being vulnerable and raw about your baggage or past thoughts / actions. Love that so much. Most people won’t do that part. Keep going. Xo xo ❤❤
Thank you this means the world❤️
thank you for sharing, truly helped alot.
Wow, such a great video! This is why I have been a subscriber for years lol
This was the video I needed
Being single for 3,5 years and celibate for almost one year over the last year was so healing. I was in a longterm relationship from 16 till 31. After that in a situationship for 2 years and I was so attracted to him. Also being a darkskin woman with a curvacious body in a country where you are not part of the dominant group at all, people can really project their sexuality on to you. Even tho that is really not you but if people say it so much you almost start to believe it. Being a single mom of 2 for these last couple of years, plus this last year of celibacy has healed so much for me. Even tho people still try now and again to project their feelings of sexuality or even worse feelings of superiority on to me, I know it is not true and they can't force me to fit in to that role. I know myself again ( at least a lot better then before 😅) and it feels so good. In the past I never entertainted the idea of celibacy but honestly, it just flowed naturally and I really enjoyed it to my surprise 😄. The year of celibacy did end kind of unexpected some 2 weeks ago but it was with somebody I know and liked for about 3 years so it was a fun experience. This is a journey for all of us and thank you Lynette, for sharing yours!! Love your videos 🤎💜💙.
I agree with your perspective on a lot of things. Often you make me look at things from a different perspective as well. & that’s why I love watching your videos you’re so real
this makes me so happy! thank you
@@LynetteAdkins your welcome 🤗
resonated SO HARD
Damn, this fucked my head up 😭 so guilty of the cat and mouse game currently after ending a long term relationship of nearly 4 years. Really needed to hear this.
Love your channel ❤ keep being you ❤ ps love the braids xx
Been single and not dating for a year for the first time since a teenager (28 now) Too busy to date cuz of law school. Plus living alone after living with a boy feels perfectly amazing! 🎉 #fnf
Single life is the best life
I love u lynette ur so real
🥺❤️
Girl I love Mina DOWN!! She will get you all the way together!
Im in a happy relationship but I still loved everything about this sit down 😌
🤗❤️
Good questions! 🙏🏻what do you want out of the future but also what are you doing in the day to day to get to that future self?
This was soooo good. I'm in this place now
I've been single for most of my life, and I'm at the point where I'm feeling the exact opposite. I stayed away from relationships because I wanted to focus on myself, practicing self-love, and focusing on my career. But life hasn't turned out the way I thought it would and now it just seems silly in hindsight to avoid being in relationships or just dating until I am financially stable, so I feel like I'm in a catch-22.
Thanks for sharing!
Needed to hear this
Finallyyyyyy💗
it's weird but the internal changes that celibacy and being intentionally single just come naturally and with time. after a year of celibacy I noticed how different I moved and how natural it was for me make decisions that prioritized myself. The hobbies I acquired also has helped me become my own person with my own things going on.
Hiking is a prayer going it the gym is a prayer 🙏🏻 ❤ yes
I'm in this place now! I love this topics! greetings from Argentina
Thoroughly enjoyed hearing you enter into your womanhood.
Thank you so much
I am in a really beautiful relationship but I really have been feeling a really big push to be celibate and single. I do not know how to leave because I feel like he’s going to be very heartbroken because there’s nothing wrong and he is so happy.
I’ve been celibate for over a year!
I will be hitting a year in September 🎉
I think you’re confusing practicing abstinence and being celibate. It sounds more like abstinence
Yea, it’s quite common to confuse the two.
Celibate = abstaining from sex usually as a religious vow e.g. priests
Abstinence = restraining oneself from a particular activity
💞💞💞💞 thank you
Sooo relatable
lol I’m 25 and had my first kiss last year. Still haven’t had one since. I guess relationships are just never prioritized for me. I’ll try to make an active effort to build relationships of all kinds
Do you still smoke 🍃? Has that changed since you moved? Would love to see a video from you about this.
I loved this entiiiire sit down. That’s it that’s my comment 🫶🏼
But really it’s a distraction… yep I felt that… I am doing that now actually… I am getting something from it but really I could be better spending my energy and time on things that reap more return ie my business, health etc
i’m aware that the comment section is reserved for the women on this one, which is why i’m asking for a lady friend… celibacy can be fairly subjective, so generally, when ppl declare celibate status, are they also refraining from self-pleasuring or just pleasure from a partner?
Yoni steamings help assist with womb healing too
You look so beautiful. God is good
Wait it’s been a year??
can this be a conversation for the gworls too😭? meaning gay boys lol
yes ofc!! i meant straight men haha
Have you ever blocked someone?
Take a shot every time Lynette says realize lol
Year like whole year?
Yes! I’m over 3 years!
@@beyouteequeen oh my! There is hope for me🙏🏿
@@RoyalAlkebulan itll fly by when youre spending time loving on yourself. I MISS IT SO BAD
@@ajewishchristianmuslim very proud you all did that cause it’s not easy
Lol this took me out
❤❤
I wish you could turn this into a podcast so I can multitask on my phone haha
It is if you have Spotify! Link is in description
Respectfully i do find it quite cold hearted to just entertain the idea of love when you're not ready. Think about being on the other end of that really hoping to find something real and putting yourself out there. It was interesting to hear about it being more entertaining with the cat and mouse game. I have always absolutely hated that and it has brought me nothing but anxiety and self doubt. I would say it's a pretty unhealthy place to operate from.
Thanks for sharing your journey.
youre really a girls girl for this 🙏
The energy you can use for sex is such a good creative and explorative outlet. I think abt relationships/sex the most when I don’t feel fulfilled but when I’m in my zone, that’s the last on my mind! I was going on 3 years abstinence because at 19 I got caught up with wanting to kno the hype behind sex and I got battered emotionally. Took time from 20-23/24 then met my bf of 3 years now. Saturn had been transiting my 7th and now I understand why!
does your tattoo on your neck mean "your name", like how people make fan fiction and you have to put your self inserted into the story as Y/n inserted here
Omg I thought you was boo’d up
This is what I did in my 20s… Much success came my way. Pretty sure you get hit on 2000 times in a week with that face 😂
Ayeee 27 seconds ago 🤌🏼
i practiced abstinence from sex for 3 years, dating + men in general but i do feel like no interaction with the intimate space, did not work in my favor once i got back out there.
Interesting, do you mind explaining more about how it didn’t work in your favor?
@@ForeverFloraI i thought i included the most important part but i just re-edited. Going 3 years not interacting with the male species given my lack of experience and knowledge of men, made the transition detrimental. Also you won't know how healed u are unless u put yourself in situations that trigger u but again, essentially complete solitude did more harm than good.
I’ve just learned that healing can’t only happen on your own you also need to heal in dating and relationships because you’re right you will get triggered and so on those moments you need to implement what you’ve been working on❤
🙏🏾🩵
She should reimburse her half to those guys who took her out and she knew that it wasn’t going anywhere.
🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅
Nah we don't pay patriarchy taxes over here
@@somebodysmom818 Paying for yourself on dates you’re not intentionally dating for is not a “patriarchy tax” genius.
@@SouthsideWingguess what? She’s not reimbursing anyone so get over it. Men pay on dates, not women. Welcome to patriarchy 😘
@@MissFaevyn Fine use men for dates. But don't be surprised when they only want hookups.
@@SouthsideWing that’s fine. Because I have a right to decline, never speak to them again, and still walk away with a date that I didn’t have to pay for 😘🤣
« I’m a cancer this, I’m an aries that » why yall keep limiting yourselves to these signs? 😂 or even justify why you are what you are? This is stupid
Ur celibacy title has attracted all the religious ppl in ur comments 😂