99% Of Screenplays Are Ruined By Things That Shouldn't Be There - Jeff Kitchen
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- čas přidán 11. 04. 2021
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The analogies and metaphors are strong with this one...
Shame he didn't follow his own advice...
@@edgarbleikur1929 in fairness, he's speaking extemporaneously. As someone who is famously (amongst friends, family, and coworkers) loquacious, he has my sympathies.
Crazy Ne user :D
Facts
This is so relevant to me right now. I just sent in a script that got a note saying that my favourite scene ‘killed the momentum and lost all sympathy for the protagonist’. I don’t want to delete the scene because it’s my favourite scene, but this video helped me realise that I’m holding on like ‘grandmas rocks’ and weighing down my script with unnecessary details there simply because I like them (instead of being useful to the story). It’s amazing how frequently a video from your channel talks directly to a dilemma I’m facing at that very moment. Thank you
Well, some people would say to take that scene and save it to use elsewhere in another project - or perhaps you could even develop that scene into its own separate project. Another exercise would be to list out 20 alternate ways to write that scene (the idea being that the more possibilities you force yourself to think of, the further you get away from the obvious and cliched and the more likely you find an exciting idea - I tried this for an ending that I wasn't happy with and came up with an alternative that was much more fitting for the character). Or maybe there is a way to take what you like most about that scene and put it somewhere else in the story?
I remember someone on Film Courage or Writing Excuses saying to "just suffer" with feedback you didn't want to hear for 48hrs before making any changes. I don't know if there's the time or option for you to do that. Writing Excuses would say try taking the scene out and see how it reads, try playing about with things in different places before you decide.
There's something to be said for analysing where the sentiment of the note is coming from, and analysing what it is about the scene specifically that you like, and see what conclusions you come to.
All just my opinion.
@@Ruylopez778 that's some good advice. I wrote several scenes that I would have loved to use in my screenplay because as stand-alones they are really powerful but in context with the plot I came up with later they don't work, so I'm going to save them up for either a different project or maybe find a way to use them in this one at a later point in the story. Thank you! :)
Same problem with me. A screenplay is like my child, a parent loves all of its children, I love every scene and letting go of one or two use to hurt, not anymore, and lucky I didn't have to go to therapy to... Well, I'm jocking, but seriously, it's not easy, parting with scenes, but very necessary. I see like, the formula "start late and finish early" so many script consultants talk about.
Christopher, great to see you finding practical ideas here that you can immediately apply to your own work. Keep creating!
This is one reason why so many movies come with Deleted Scenes sections - their directors found themselves in the same situation: knew they had to remove certain bits for the greater good of the movie , but couldn’t bear to just abolish their precious scenes out of existence ... so, compromise, moved them to a Deleted Scenes section.
The scene is the last Jedi where they go to “space las-Vegas” is a perfect example of what he is describing.
Or for some reason when "Solo" had to explain where he got his name...ugh.
@@theoriginaltommysteward I think they are now claiming they “had no plan” for these movies bc no one wants to own up and be responsible for “planning” the sequel trilogy.
Cause and effect, THE SCRIPT IS A ROCKET, Dont weigh it down with the unnecessary.
Thank you film courage
I was writing my first story, and at one point I thought I’d add a few scenes to flesh out the town and foreshadow its relationship to the protagonist. Problem is, the moments were placed right between this happy scene of summer vacation, and then the protagonist being bullied when they return to school. So, when I read the story in full, I realized that the impact of the school scenes were weakened by having an in-between scene act as a transition. Because as originally written, you went from those carefree times playing outside to being smacked down to reality and its struggles. In that way, I feel it’s easier to relate to the protagonist and why she feels uncomfortable in the classroom.
So, I ended up throwing out those extra scenes and the pacing and emotions were strengthened for it. The town had some world building already, and the excess wasn’t worth the consequences to the overall narrative
Speaking about getting to the point...
Ironic that this guy talks about things that are unnecessary and going of on tangents.
Thinking the exact same thing!
This guy totally looses me...
Good example I guess
*Don't write a screenplay the way this dude talks.
The essential payload weight of a rocket was a fantastic metaphor.
Taking grandma's rock collection to the moon! 😂 Cheers Film Courage!!
I like his no nonsense approach to screenwriting. I'm soaking this all up.
Kill your darlings, and being unmerciful about it, is one of the rules all screenwriters must abide by. My take on this is I consider the story, which includes the backstory, as a block of wood. A block of wood, no matter how valuable this wood may be, will never be considered a work of art. Only by carving out all the unnecessary parts from this block of wood, or story, will the true masterpiece finally emerge, only then will it become a thing of beauty, of craftsmanship and aesthetically pleasing to the viewer, unlike the block of wood it was carved out from. In this sense, less is more, similar to how poems and slogans are much more powerful after cutting out all the unnecessary verbiage. I spent a year writing my first screenplay and have spent the better part of the following year carving it up, especially the dialogue, which I'm attempting to make as succinct, powerful and memorable as possible. For those who think writing the first draft of screenplay is hard, the rewrites are where the heavy lifting, creativity and magic begin.
This is why I don't write. I know that you are right - I must kill my darlings - and I know that I cannot do it.
8:12 - 8:23 is the answer.
someone should send this to the writer's of the future Star wars movies.
Just fire JJ Abrams.
No. The problem is not the writer. But the studio
Amen. The story and lack of cohesion between the three films is what ruined 7-9.
Yes, 100% yes! If it's not necessary to the story, get rid of it. Sometimes, I think of it monetarily too: is this scene worth the cost of filming, location, set design, costuming, props, extras, actors, etc. If it's worth it, do it. If not, get rid of it, it's unnecessary.
Too many writers seem to throw in details like getting a parking ticket just because they need more events. Your job is to write events that provide dramatic weight. Maybe dealing with the parking ticket slows you down, when the lottery is about to be drawn, that's your ticking clock. It's not that you can't have some of your darlings, you just have to make them work. If they don't fit, keep them for next time.
An astronaut fights the system to take his grandmother's precious rock collection to the moon. Schindler's List meets Apollo 13. Guaranteed Academy Award Best Picture & Screenplay.
So, haha, the jokes are obviously a little funny BUT I LOVE how he broke this down to its bare bones. I struggle in this area trying to make sure the reader see's everything I do... A ROCK SOLID bare bone storyline can save me from that. The "extra-ness" is no longer just extra stuff, but jewels that support that core foundation of a solid story.... It's good to have a little laugh every now and a again. But then get back to business, writers.... Thanks FC for yet another in depth look at how to be exceptional.
I always vet a scene before I allow myself to include it, by asking if it has at least one of the following criteria:
Does the scene...
1) Say something about the character(s)?
2) Say something about the world?
3) Move the story forward?
For me, the most helpful part of this video, were the analogies, both of the rocket and the suit. I had the exact problem years ago, with my first screenplay. I just didn't want to take anything out, making the first couple of drafts just TOO long. Later I realized, by hearing many of your guest and reading writers blog, that if a scene doesn't serve your story, if doesn't move the plot forward, and if the has no conflict in it, take it out, delete it.
Excellent speaker, please give my thanks to Mr. Kitchen for being so generous with his time with FC and your subscribers like myself. Always a fan!!!
Stressing the importance of eliminating unnecessary elements and getting to the heart of the story in a long-winded 11 minute 23 second video- with a cover that reads "Losing the audience". I can't wait to hear his thoughts on irony.
The difference is this isn't supposed to be that, not a film or play with a great dramaturgic curve but just an interview with someone sharing thoughts about the matter of crafting such.
@@PunkMonster He's speaking extemporaneously, not reading a script, and this is clearly not for entertainment.
do as I say not as I do
Too much launch weight in this explanation.
Very inspirational because it’s so easy to comprehend and apply immediately. This channel is like the underlying reason to create a story and many stories for the screen.
Wow, thank you!
Spot on analogy.
I liked the cause and effect of the urgent phone call resulting in getting a lottery ticket. I can see that those are the only elements that MUST be there, but that the parking ticket can add color to the story (for example), but buying cigarettes might not and therefore should be excluded.
That was our favorite part as well Lon.
Not sure about this advice (keeping only what's necessary and stripping out everything else) because imho that mantra has led to one of the main problems with modern ultra-stripped-down films and TV, namely: if nothing is permitted to happen unless it's directly moving the plot forward then everything that DOES happen is a Chekov's Gun, a "tell" that's signposting what WILL happen.
If a character so much as coughs in Act 1 then you know it's not random: it's there because it's significant and plot-relevant. You can lay money on that character turning out to have some horrible illness a few scenes further in. As a writer, you sometimes need the space in a script for a little misdirection - to have some things happen that don't turn out to be set-ups for later pay-offs, allowing you to more effectively slip past the audience that *other* thing which will prove to be significant.
This is where you intentionally design the red herrings and fool the audience. I guess there can be no limit to how many red herrings one puts in though, but there will be a time and a place for them of course and the fine balance will have to be weighed in by the writer
I would pay him anything to take a critical look at my work. Awesome interview.
What is necessary is what is not unnecessary. That which is unnecessary is necessarily unnecessary.
Some examples from actual films would help.
He’s brilliant.
Basically you have to keep the audience engaged, so keep asking yourself how to do that most effectively while conforming to genre.
Extra weigh load on ships in Spanish Is called "tara", what in spanish also means "idiocy" or "stupidity".
What was the most helpful part of this video for you?
It can be a good story, but it needs to be stage worthy
@Film Courage bones. Oh, the bones.
Difference between dramatist and story teller.
The analogy of cutting a suit.
Jeff Kitchen all the time with the great stuff.
Glad you caught another one Anthony!
@@filmcourage Me too, thanks again
When is the full conversation with Jeff going to be put on your podcast?
Appreciate your interest, we still have a little ways to having this full interview complete. Here is everything we have posted on this channel - bit.ly/3sHuDg6
In the 1990s I would be watching a movie and I just couldn't work out what they were talking about or how they got there and what it had to do with the movie, and extended shots of a few people in a dark room, I felt I was trapped and held hostage by the movie, so I just walk
That was positively maddening. But then I imagined him using all these analogies during a job interview and it was much more entertaining. Try it.
Great analogies on stripping down to the necessary taking out the unnecessaries. But where is the editor?
“Mystery box”. Enough said.
What about films like «Boyhood» where the plot seems to wander, just following a life's event without the drama of a classic story?
Boyhood is highly and rigorously structured but its mechanism is subtle and relaxed. It’s a long film but everything in it is useful for the story. It’s wandering feel is more to do with the fact that when it changes gear - Richard Linklater chose not announce when it does change. The fact that each different part isn’t sign posted gives the illusion of a lack of structure. It’s there and there is a rise in tension. There are also narrative and character arcs too. Again it’s subtle but it’s there. Boyhood is a wonderful film. Even if it wasn’t there (which it is) it would be an exception. Usually with exceptions, they use writing and narrative tools too. They’re just subtle about it - like Boyhood. Hope this helps.
@@guywainer4028 Agreed.
Boyhood is essentially an experimental film financed by an independent studio working with a filmmaker who established himself by making a self-financed movie. Imagine if he had done it the traditional way by recasting the actors at various intervals. Is that a movie that would have attracted your interest and/or held your interest but for the idea of seeing an actor literally grow up before your eyes?
Correct me if I'm wrong here but I don't think he completely follows through on the rocket fuel metaphor. The point that a rocket that needs more fuel gets weighed down by more of everything, including fuel, should logically suggest that it is possible to simply weigh down the rocket with an unnecessary amount of fuel. So assuming this isn't taking the metaphor too literally it should be possible for you to have things that *do* exist to propel the story forward, that nonetheless weigh your story down.
Only généralités. Inept explanation!!!
Zack Snyder would disagree😄he loves the extra books in his backpack!📚I love a good analogy👍🏼
Did he mean to demonstrate his point so painfully?
Cristal clear
That’s how nit picking works among the critics of film and video games
I wonder what year Doug walker was born in and his brother Robert too
Ever heard of Chris stuck man and mr plinket
I hope that universal makes a digimon film adaptation
I want George takei to Star as the narrator
And Tom Holland could play Tyler yagami
yes, unnecesary - its like when I was of the mood to watch new "Batwoman" series (though generaly I dont watch many TV series, and generaly I dont watch much of a superhero films) and I assumed it will be about this woman tracking and hacking the criminals to pieces :D but first thing I watched in one of first episodes was a long and boring talk of her lesbian love life. that was the end of me watching it :D
TL;DR remove anything that doesn't directly contribute to the main plot points of your story?
This video could have been 11 minutes shorter if he'd stripped out all the unecessary...
the way they craft most "successful" scripts has influenced an unhealthy relationship with life for many people i think. it makes real life stories with all of their unnecessary details, endless subplots, no plots, unremarkable characters, and randomness seem unworthy of prime-time, unworthy of the exaltation that public releases bring, unworthy because real life is simply too boring to show. it kinda sucks. it really works against liking what you have, fostering what is unremarkable or not scarce, seems to work against community building and all the things that this planet has in abundance, like simply enjoying sunlight, a lake, being a peace within what is natural and real. film making is an art that has become a central source of biased information and lifestyle propaganda, affecting one both consciously and subconsciously, calibrating the mind for unrealistic expectations in comparison.
Holy Moses!
But like, why am I dipping this fish in acid?
So...writing IS rocket science.
There’s no such thing called B sharp
Technically there is. Even though there is no note on a piano traditionally called B#, it would be just a normal C note in every other scale except C# Major. Since there is an unwritten rule in music theory to not have two of the same note side-by-side, we informally refer to 'B#' as natural 'C'
(For Example: G G# A A# looks confusing so we prefer: G Ab Bbb Cbb)
So in C# Major the notes would be:
C#, d#, e#, F#, G#, a#, b#, C#
And yes, b# in this harmonic context would be as disconcerting as the literal context of the note. Wait till you run into E#!
Cut all the backstory, exposition, "character development," and half the dialog.
But now my script is only 45 pages!
Cut those 35 pages of scenes that do nothing.
OMG now it's only 10 pages!
Go make a short film :-)
❤❤❤
Hey!!.. “Grandma Gets Her Rocks in Space” is the title of my new film!!.. What gives?!
with wokeness that figure will jump to 99.999 percent 😬😂
Ironically this video on losing the audience lost me as an audience member.
I guess the Star Wars franchise didn't get this memo...🙄
This could have been a youtube short of he had taken his own advice. Tell the rocket comparison, cut the other 10 minutes of his answer out. The irony...
Great content but it’s like his mouth was Mic’d- the smacking was absolutely unbearable. I know that’s a personal tic of mine but that swallowing and constant smacking and licking and spit swallowing was too much. The mic was way too hot sensitive.
this video is kinda meh its a bit monotonous and i myself feel like he did exactly what he wasn't supposed to do. I feel he should have been short sweet and simple instead of this convoluted mess
He says a lot of unnecessary stuff considering the subject.
and CUT. Please get to the point.
Ironic that this guy is talking about things that are unnecessary and going off on tangents.
In other words
Don't write a screenplay the way this dude talks.