Jim - my, time flies...you know the rest (I try to see some humor in what it was like) ...seriously, I get where you came from - I know it's not skipping lightly down memory lane - but my experience is, it's critical that my rock bottom is burned into my soul so that I never forget where I came from. You've said it is burned into your memory and I'm very glad you've got that mindset. Can't remember if I mentioned to you before, but for my first 5 years, my mantra was 'if I drink, I'll die, if I drink I'll die' - then it hit me that if I drink, I'm not gonna get lucky enough to die - I'm gonna have to live the life I lived before. The thought of that, even today, fills me with immense dread All the people I've seen go out and somehow find their way back to the rooms, have told me, how much, much worse - very rapidly - the drinking escalates. I don't see a need to test it, to see if I'll be the one that can find that magic pill you mentioned previously, to enable me to drink and not have the repercussions. My magic pill is exactly what I've been walking for a few days now... Not to scare you, but Dec'19 up to, even today - has been the most growing I've done with the exception of my early sobriety - and I've done a s*%tload of work in my journey - and faced a lot. Things come up, life happens, we hear what we hear, discard the crap when we're ready - tricks are mindfulness, perseverance, do the work and keep that door of willingness open, even just a crack, to face the feelings, the uncertainties, the frustrations: jesus - will I EVER be done with ...fill in the blank 2020 exhausted me - but it's because I fought the realities happening after having many years of calm and peace. Shocked me actually - and humbled me. I hope you dig into the good times/good feelings/good events - BREATHE DEEPLY, because those are the bridges that held me up when I couldn't feel like I was ever gonna feel great again in sobriety. I've always gotten through the dark times - stronger, kinder, and happier - that is my evidence that if I do what's suggested, the program works. Simple. I feel you've fallen INTO grace, by giving yourself the life sobriety offers. Glad Sam got you to say WHOOOOHOOOOO!!! Oh! and Douglas reminds me of my hometown in Pacifica - thank you for another lovely sight!
Thanks as always for your amazing insights to our journeys they are all so varied and different and yet just the same. Falling into grace. I like that! That works. Life is tricky but never as tricky or as awful as going back out. My last lapses were worse and worse and worse. I know if I go back out, I’ll die or have to live a life of pain and resentment and more pain. Not a life I want. 👊🏼🧡🙌🏼
That’s a mighty woohoooo!
Just for you pal! I think I pull it off quite well 🤣
Jim - my, time flies...you know the rest (I try to see some humor in what it was like) ...seriously, I get where you came from - I know it's not skipping lightly down memory lane - but my experience is, it's critical that my rock bottom is burned into my soul so that I never forget where I came from. You've said it is burned into your memory and I'm very glad you've got that mindset. Can't remember if I mentioned to you before, but for my first 5 years, my mantra was 'if I drink, I'll die, if I drink I'll die' - then it hit me that if I drink, I'm not gonna get lucky enough to die - I'm gonna have to live the life I lived before. The thought of that, even today, fills me with immense dread All the people I've seen go out and somehow find their way back to the rooms, have told me, how much, much worse - very rapidly - the drinking escalates. I don't see a need to test it, to see if I'll be the one that can find that magic pill you mentioned previously, to enable me to drink and not have the repercussions. My magic pill is exactly what I've been walking for a few days now... Not to scare you, but Dec'19 up to, even today - has been the most growing I've done with the exception of my early sobriety - and I've done a s*%tload of work in my journey - and faced a lot. Things come up, life happens, we hear what we hear, discard the crap when we're ready - tricks are mindfulness, perseverance, do the work and keep that door of willingness open, even just a crack, to face the feelings, the uncertainties, the frustrations: jesus - will I EVER be done with ...fill in the blank 2020 exhausted me - but it's because I fought the realities happening after having many years of calm and peace. Shocked me actually - and humbled me. I hope you dig into the good times/good feelings/good events - BREATHE DEEPLY, because those are the bridges that held me up when I couldn't feel like I was ever gonna feel great again in sobriety. I've always gotten through the dark times - stronger, kinder, and happier - that is my evidence that if I do what's suggested, the program works. Simple. I feel you've fallen INTO grace, by giving yourself the life sobriety offers. Glad Sam got you to say WHOOOOHOOOOO!!! Oh! and Douglas reminds me of my hometown in Pacifica - thank you for another lovely sight!
Thanks as always for your amazing insights to our journeys they are all so varied and different and yet just the same. Falling into grace. I like that! That works. Life is tricky but never as tricky or as awful as going back out. My last lapses were worse and worse and worse. I know if I go back out, I’ll die or have to live a life of pain and resentment and more pain. Not a life I want. 👊🏼🧡🙌🏼
So glad you’ve never given up despite relapsing 🙏🌟
Thanks mate. One day at a time 👊🏼🧡🙌🏼