DEPERSONALIZATION: How Do I Know If I Have It? | (Derealization)
Vložit
- čas přidán 4. 02. 2016
- FREE MASTER CLASS TEACHING THE 5 SHIFTS TO BECOME FREE OF ANXIETY/DPDR/DEPRESSION FROM MY TRUSTED FRIEND & MENTAL HEALTH EXPERT JORDAN HARDGRAVE: 5shiftsmasterclass.coachjorda... (DO IT!) NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO? Book an appointment with me: bignoknowllc.setmore.com/ Test your testosterone / Hormone levels with LetsGetChecked and take control of your physical and mental health. Get 20% off with this link and code: NOAH20: trylgc.com/noah
Noah Thomas (bignoknow) is an affiliate of LetsGetChecked
For business inquiry's: thomasvisionsllc@gmail.com
Please SHARE, LIKE, COMMENT, and even FAVORITE THIS VIDEO if you found it useful or if you know somebody who it may benefit. Thank you.
FACEBOOK: / bignoknowofficial
INSTAGRAM : / bignoknow
TWITTER: / bignoknow1
DEPRESSION SCREENING TEST: healingfromdepression.com/depr...
This video is for educational and documentary purposes only and is not intended to treat or diagnose. The opinions expressed are that of the individual in the video and nobody else. Please consult a health care professional for all mental and physical healthcare needs.
I Noah Thomas, the creator of this channel, have been diagnosed hypogonadism by a medical doctor and legally prescribed the medically indicated treatment of Testosterone Replacement Therapy.
My Story
My name is Noah and on May 18 2011, I had a rare reaction to a medication called VIVITROL and consequently, spiraled into a suicidal depression with depersonalization and anxiety. I lost 25 lbs in 4 weeks and was in full panic or near panic for 8 weeks straight mixed with the darkest most painful depression I cold have ever imagined. I immediately could not work and had to move in with my parents who, along with many siblings and friends, had to watch me 24/7 as I was a danger to myself. Eventually I was hospitalized in the Psych Ward for a week. Getting through each day seemed truly unbearable and I knew I would surely die. I have been put on many many different doctor prescribed SSRI's SNRI's Tricyclics, mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics, holistic meds, acupuncture and even a form of shock therapy called RTMS. I barely saw any improvement in my condition for a full year. It was decided I had treatment resistant depression and I spent nearly every moment in tears. Weeks after starting my newest round of medications (Seroquel & Nortryptaline) as a last ditch effort, I had my blood drawn for possible hormone imbalances and my Testosterone levels came back 200 ng/Dl and 150 ng/Dl. The average 25 year old male has 750 ng/Dl. With this discovery I had an explanation as to why I was not getting better and why I might be so so sick. The symptoms of Low T are very similar to those of major depression. I started legally prescribed testosterone replacement therapy soon after and have been checking in with the world and documenting my experience with treatment as well as giving my insight and perspective on various topics of mental health. I am blessed to say that I have slowly, over the last 6 years, been improving and becoming more stable which I never thought to be possible. My low T manifested itself in the form of Major depression, anxiety, and depersonalization/ derealization for over a year. Treating my low testosterone has been 1 HUGE part of the puzzle but I have had to continue to work hard to hold on to my mental stability with many set backs. Gaining some mental stability back is nothing short of a miracle as I was near death for what felt like forever. I do not consider myself to be totally healed yet but I am closer now then ever before and aim to use what I have been through to help or at least offer support to others in need I was able to successfully come off my Seroquel and Pamelor.
I work out all the time as a part of my mental health recovery!!! Weight training and all kinds of cardio rule much of my free time and I also share this on my channel.
Noah Thomas (bignoknow) is an affiliate of LetsGetChecked
NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO? Book an appointment with me: bignoknowllc.setmore.com/
It's like a first person shooter point of view
You don't know the shooter but you know your playing the game.
Jayvon ware this describes mine perfect9
I wish I could express how much this fits. It’s like your life purpose is simply getting through the game you know is a game but you can’t seem to exit it
Best way I can describe it is almost like the same feeling you get when you smoke weed. But it's persistent. You can beat it though. I still get it but it's not constant anymore. I experience it usually only once or twice a day only when I'm alone or when I'm driving which I guess are my triggers.
Hey this might sound crazy, what if there is a way to enjoy it, just like playing a first person shooter. It would simply be the most realistic game you have every played, but a game nonetheless, not an mental illness that you're going through.
That's what happens with mine! The most recent one happened at work this weekend.
For me the biggest thing with dp/dr is the disconnect I feel when talking to others. Conversation would flow out of me but it almost felt as if someone else was speaking for me and I was just listening.
+Joe Tito Like reading my own thoughts. Thanks for sharing.
+Joe Tito I feel you on this one. I've always compared it to sitting inside of your head, watching a movie of yourself unfold in real time.
+kmomang That's a really great way to describe it!
+U Mirin You've become a better conversationalist from this? That's interesting. It's had the opposite effect on me. I more often choose not to engage in conversations because I hate that feeling so much.
+U Mirin Love this reply. Treating my low testosterone has greatly helped my anxiety and my DP/DR. But you're absolutely right, it's all about breaking your focus on the symptoms and just moving on and accepting this is just part of living. I used to obsess about it all fucking day and it drove me nuts. Now, whenever it crops up, I just think to myself 'this is just part of how I'm feeling right now and that's alright' and try my best to move on. Some days are easier than others, but it's not as debilitating anymore.
I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy
Eliza Peterson my worst “enemy “ caused this via domestic violence and sexual assault so I would
This is what I’ve always said! It’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.. ive had it for 3 years now. Some days are worst than others but I’ve learned to cope with it
I wish this on all. So they can truly feel what pain and agony is at a more emotional level.
@@makayla3515 me too me too shit makes me giggle sometimes but really got me tripping. I don’t find much of this life real anymore not even my feelings
@@makayla3515 did u get rid of it?
I never knew this was a thing ..I was telling my friends it's like watching myself through tv screen..and they laughed at me..
yea man, i know...
The Hope um so scared man..that someday I could be trapped inside of me..and this thing alongside with depression turn into catatonic depression.
miroozy what's your number so I can text u about this
yep
Yeah, people usually assume that you're trying to be edgy like a anime character lol..... Ive talked to 1 adult and they said I was making excuses up due to stressful situation. I wanted to kill him at that point, I got over it a little.
I couldnt tell if I was awake or dreaming, I never knew what was real or if I was still sleeping, and trees and buildings and everything for that matter looked fake like a movie set.
How did you get out ?
Nick Sewell
I never did really, I was agoraphobic for almost a decade. I found a good psychiatrist went through many combinations of medications, that process took a long time, then one day the doc switched me to extended release, same med, just extended release and 50mg higher. And I just like, woke up. But I still have good and bad days, I still fight it everyday, even with medication. Mine is severe and will never completely go away.
Simon Smith
Damn it... Im going throught the same. The Sky, the buildings around me, the outside world looks fake. Do you see the people arround you different? In my case i see them like watching 3D movie, like they are popping out from the reality... Im getting used to it tho
Simon Smith bro that same feeling
@@oeloel2653 sounds like exactly what I've been dealing with.
I feel like im in a dream like state, I don't feel like this is my body, and I can't focus at all, and I forgot everything ever since I had it. I see my family and know that's my family but it doesn't feel like my family
Kaylee Schwart what's your number so I can text you about it
+Gin Zen welcome to hell
eh its been awhile since you posted but what helped me was doing a lot of reading on formal logic. It helps my rational mind keep in mind that what I am feeling is not Objectively true.
Yup
Kaylee Schwart how r u now it's gonna or not
DP/DR is definitely a terrible disorder but I think the main thing people need to do to get out of it is to stop focusing on how they feel and trying to find a "cure". The more you obsess over it the stronger its grip becomes on you. You need to get out of your head and try to focus on external things. It takes awhile to break free from but you can.
+Tenken89 Can't deny this.
Yep, I stopped doing all my research on DP/DR, ive felt happier, I came by his channel to help people with some of their situations in the comment.
Tenken89 thanks and I agree
That's what I did and I still get it sometimes in very small portions throught the year but I agree with you and that's what I did
How do I stop obsessing over it?
It feels like im another person playing VR as me if that makes sense
OMG I feel the same way, did it get better??
That's exactly how it felt
I want it to get better😭
Hi I has it??
YES when i smoke i get this feeling
Sorry for the long lapse in content regarding DP/DR. Wishing everybody fighting this insidious condition strength and courage.
+bignoknow rooting for you brother your videos could help others so kudos to you for that get more scientific info tho
+shan sf good feedback.
+bignoknow Noah, I've missed checking in on you. I've finally been able to catch up on your videos buddy.
+bignoknow Hey there, im suffering from that and depression right now, and its been going on for 10 months now, i literally do not recoqnise myself anymore, and its a killer, i no longer feel like im alive and have to hurt myself to check im actually alive. i do not wish this on my worst enemy. Talking about it is difficult because i feel like i dont make any sense. everything is just so cloudy and the simple jobs in life feel so difficult. i have no confidence left and i sure feel like im not worth anything as a man. I feel like a total failure. The depression caused me to lose everything, my home, my car, and my job. Then came the difficult times, Started drinking heavily, smoking 50 ciggies a day, and the nightmares are ridiculous! i am afraid to sleep anymore. and when i do sleep i wake up in cold sweats, and my hands are continuosly soaked in sweat, so i have to keep washing my hands with cold water. my hands feel like they are almost burning.
N2KY i had gotten into benzos to get away from feelings of derealization. ended up developing a tolerance, stopped taking them suddenly. resulted in a feeling like madness and complete loss of hope like what i had already been experiencing multiplied by 1,000. wouldn't wish it on anyone
sometimes I am just doing something and suddenly feel like I don’t actually exist and feel like nothing is real
Me too I know you commented this 2 years ago but I hope you’ve been doing good
@@anarod4063 are you doing better? Ive been going through it for a year now..
Can it make you feel like no matter what you do or where you go, you aren't comfortable anywhere, you're depersonalised when you walk , touch things, do things, listen to people, sit down, lie down, doing activities - like dirtbikes, watching a movie, playing games and no matter what would normat make tou better - even like meditation. It is working?
Its like playing a first person shooter is the way i describe it
I like that description.
just wanted to say thank you, three months ago I thought it was the end of my life, that this condition controlled me, watching your videos helped relieve my fears and make progress to the point that I rarely feel these feelings anymore, and when I do, I'm no longer scared of it.
+Daniel Huff Thats powerful and I appreciate you sharing that.
Depersonalizations reminds me of movies where a person is fighting in a war than a bomb goes off and all you hear is a tone like a ringing in your ear but all is silent. It's like a spiritual feeling like you are outside your body but stuck on the inside. It's a scary feeling to feel a mental disconnection to the rest of your body. For me, it's a disconnection to myself and others when I am not comfortable 100% with my surroundings or the people around me. I am anxious to socialize due to not having many friends, violence, when I did have the most friends at one point they pretty much all fucked me over so I keep friends extended and I never seem to go out of my way because I can live without them at the end of the day (sounds so bad...), and family hardship due to violence and parents just always fighting. I am a very solitary and quiet person. I have a lot to say but I think anxiety is over activity in the mind and it freaks out the people with this mental condition because their mi
Mind ventures further and deeper than intended or comfortable. It's like meditation, it's being one with the entire universe but also being so alone and disconnected. It's think it happens in communities that might be overpopulated so that people disconnect from each other and we have poor socialization skills. Oregon weather just doesn't help much either. But hey spring is coming!!:) that's a big thing to Oregonians because then we can actually do stuff and work out comfortably!! Anyway. I am a very empathetic person but when I feel depersonalization, it can just feel like talking through a window. Being depressed and depersonalized is worse because you may have sluggish, irritable, or melancholy as well as passiveness which can make for some bad rationality.
+Courtney Poe exactly how it feels I love the bomb example this thing sucks its been 7 months for me
Omg yes it feels just like a part in movie when a bomb goes of!
it feels numb like your weightless and kinda hyper aware of yourself. your muscles feel jellyfishy but you know you could make a run for it because your fast twitch muscles (maybe) are ready to fire. #novel Im just saying it how it is haha
Courtney P omg I never heard someone describe it EXACTLY how I feel! I always describe it that way to people
As I entered high school, I became severely depressed and my anxiety shot through the roof. After this, I began to experience what I believe was dpdr, and it has continued with me over the past few years. At first, I felt like a robot. Like...something else inside of a human's skin (I still feel like this, and it is something I am currently struggling with). I didn't trust anyone, because they just didn't feel real. I couldn't believe they were real. My life was a play, and people were just props. Not recognizing myself in the mirror was occurring more and more. And it wasn't intriguing anymore. At one point when it was happening, I couldn't snap out of it like I usually can. It was stuck, and I felt myself inside my own body, like I was inside of a mascot's costume. It was terrifying. Nowadays I more or less dissociate constantly. I don't know what's happening and everything I see is too overstimulating, suddenly turning everything into a dull movie, starring someone else.
You are truly an amazing writer. You need to write more, you never know if could help your depression...
+Porter Christenson thank you so much for these kind words. Believe me, I write all the time, especially about my disorders and illnesses. I had to cut the previous comment because of character count, but if that wasn't a problem I could've gone on for paragraphs. Recounting my current and previous experiences is tough, but I guess it does help to an extent.
Paina Waddles I know I'm one year late, but how has it been? I'm currently suffering really bad from this, I just don't feel like myself...
I liked the example you gave in a previous video. You said that it feels as if you've been awake for a few days and I thought that was spot on.
I happen to like that example as well.
When i'm sleepy, i feel intense fear and i feel like i'm separate from my body.
I had this for several months two years ago. It really fucked up my life at that point. There's no way I can describe how I felt. My mind was like disconnected from my body, everything felt like I had already seen it before and it felt like I was in a weird time loop thing. It made me so scared because (i can't describe it) i thought I was stuck there forever in mint time loops every second. Idk it's weird. I had extreme anxiety because of it.
Then I learned to just let go and accept it. I was like "fuck, if im gonna be stuck here forever, might as well stop being scared and get used to it". After several months I'm finally back to "normal". I get the feeling of it, a very small hint, once in a while but since I'm not scared anymore it just goes away.
Also, I don't know if other people experience this as well but I lost my sense of touch a bit too. It truly was like my mind was just hanging to body by a thread. I could barely feel things, I really can't explain it. There's no way to explain the way I perceived tactile sensations. Certain textures made it worse too, like soft flowy things like blankets or hair. I couldn't do my hair for months because I couldn't feel it. I could feel harder things but barely. It felt like my hands were melting through the object. If I focused REALLY hard I could feel things better.
Now that the derealization is gone, I have my sense of touch again. However, I can "trigger" the weird sensations to come back. Not at full strength as they were before but somewhat.
Thanks for sharing this, im fighting with exactly same things
Did you get any visual disturbances. Like visual snow/static?
O Tate yes I do when I stare at the tv or something I zone out and the tv would mix with my wall all the same color and just blur out
I've been going threw this for a little over 1 month and I need to beat it😥
I’ve been scared to tell people about this for like 3 years because they would think I was crazy. This evening I’ve found out I’m not mad. Thankyou
I’ve had depersonalization since I can remember! Things have felt unreal for many years and it’s affected my memory when I’m talking to people I make it seem like I’m fully concentrated on what there saying but a lot of the time I forget what we were talking about later in the day! It’s hard for me to remember significant things in the past and I believe that’s depersonalization as well!
i absolutely love these videos they help me so much i’ve been dealing with severe depersonalization for 2 years and sometimes i’ve lost hope but just watching these makes me feel like theres really hope and im really not alone
Hey, do you still have the feeling?
Thank you for just being here, putting your video and story out there for all to listen and feel they are not alone
I love your videos. They're giving me so much information. When I have panic attacks I get extremely disconnected and never could put a name to it. I never understood it's like im so out of touch with reality like my brain is not part of my body. I know what's going on and I know I am nauseous/vomiting/shaking but it does not feel real. I feel like I'm dreaming and so detached. Im glad I watched this video because I think it's depersonalization and now I can put a name to what im feeling and seek help
+fit4aprincess Putting a name to what you are experiencing can be such an important relief. Wishing you strength and courage in all you face.
+fit4aprincess dealing w/ that myself! glad this video was helpful for you. It is me too
Rosie how long have you had it
You just nailed EXACTLY how I've felt for almost a decade, thank you. Now I know what I'm fighting.
Thank you so much for posting this. It's made me feel less insane. 😢
Hi Noah, thanks for your videos, it's good someone is making this subject available to the public. Most don't understand Anxiety disorder and the complications that accompany it "derealization" "depersonalization" etc. I've dealt with anxiety/panic disorder all my life and it can become totally debilitating. Stress exacerbates it. I recently lost my 87yr old Mom and after the stress/grief of that I have been struggling with the worst symptoms ever. You literally feel like your losing your mind. Scary place to be. Keep up the good work and again.....thank you.
Brian
I've been unsure as to what I was suffering from was in fact depersonalization/derealization for the past few months but once you mentioned the feeling of your hand being completely foreign made everything just click. I knew exactly what you were talking about, it was very well worded and I genuinely have to thank you for these videos because you've helped me immensely understand what was going on with my own mind and body.
You’re extremely articulate, Noah. I have never heard of these conditions before, but as I have been dealing with worse and worse depression, I believe I may have experienced this depersonalization that you describe. Very interesting, and I appreciate you putting a name to it for me.
I just love the way you explain things! Long term Depersonalisation is so hard to explain and you did it so so well thank you! Lots of love and hugs 🙂
+Jayd Alex :) love and hugs.
I often find myself telling myself what i'm doing. "Ok so right now, you're doing the dishes" for example. Because I have to confirm for myself that it is me doing those things and not some other force. Just to realise i'm in control. It's really weird.
Watching this made me realize it finally really started to fade away you helped me so much through this past 7-8 months I still have little pieces of it here and there but thank you so much !
thank you so much for sharing this! it is also something I had considered asking you. your videos always seem to come right at the time I need them. ha haI have been feeling this disconnect all week. its been as if I am watching myself do these daily activities. I feel, NO connection to the reality of these things. I have never felt anything like this before. its weird to me. I cant describe it to people without them thinking I am crazy!!I am SO glad to have somehow stumbled onto your page months ago! Your videos help SO much! you might not even know. they have kept me going. I always look forward to new ones/updates, as well as being able to re-watch some. Thank You.
I'm glad my videos can "be there" for you. By reaching out, it feels very much like you are there for me too and I appreciate that so much. Stay brave in all you face.
Hi Noah, I'm 59 and have dealt with this since I was 22, because of an extremely fearful episode from smoking weed. ended up in the emergency room. got very little help since. too long of a story but anyhow I've been going through hell with depression anxiety and all of the above lately and I just wanted to thank You for the wonderful information that you share with us. There's no way in hell that my psychiatrist would have ever explained depersonalization to me or anything else for that matter. it was all about drugs. I don't like to bad mouth professionals but I've seen 3 psychiatrists in my lifetime and I think they are the coldest, most unfeeling people in a world where this is the last thing anyone needs. Anyhow I'm very fortunate for people like You and Douglas Bloch for this wonderful wisdom that actually makes me feel like there is hope. Thank You so much Noah! Andy
Amazing advice. You have no idea how Your impacting and bringing comfort to people that are suffering..
Just wanted to say love your channel dude; you deserve a lot more subs. Although I guess that would mean there are more screwed up people out there. Anyway your videos have been a real life saver for me. Thank you and know that you are very appreciated.
Dude I want to THANK YOU, god bless you legit. You made me think I had DP but it was brain fog since I was taking PREWORKOUT too much and I barely had sleep and it was during my workout which caused my panic attack. god bless you man. thank you so much. legit thank you. you just made my attacks away. dude god bless you.
Really good to see your channel has become so big, I remember watching your videos when I had my breakdown and you only had a couple of 100 subs (I was proudly one of them). If one person deserves to get some recognition its probably you, god bless you.
+RanqeOwnez Thats really nice of you to say my friend. I do the best I can with the channel and try hard to let go of the results. I am grateful to every person who watches and more importantly, reaches out and shares. Take care.
I had this for over 2 years , it was really fucked up , i thought that it would last forever and i was considered of that. Your videos helped me a lot because i didnt know what i had, it was a real fight for me and i think ive won the fight. I never thought that could be happy but actually i am very happy now , my depersonalization en derealization is almost completly gone. My tips for you guys who are suffering be active you have to put your attention to something and be busy en try to not think about any more and step by step you wil see change , it is hard but it works . after time my DP was slowly goin away and now i feel the happiness again. Even how hopeless you are it wil get better . Thank you Noah for your videos.
You are right, alcohol does take you there. I have almost got my self back, the fight is on. However, Yogaa does made a big difference.
Hi,when did you get it can you pls tell me and how much you have recovered by Yoga..??
You're the man, Noah. I love the content you put out. Depersonalization was the absolute worst part of my first, and luckily only, panic attack. It's a very scary feeling being in your own house and feeling like you're in a strange place, even though deep down you know you're at home.
You would make a great councilor, my man.
+kmomang Love how you described being in your own home. I relate big time. I was meant to speak to/with all of you I think.
the reason why i got depersonalization is because i started thinking too much about my future and i thought too much about all these terrorist attacks happening in the U.S and all I would think about is what if it happens to me.. I kept that in my mind for a while and on top of that my bestfriend died out of the blue and i didnt get to say goodbye. I started smoking marijuana as a way to relieve stress and then I lost lots of sleep and I'd have way too much caffeine such as energy drinks and coffee.. it started about a month ago i started having panic attacks out of nowhere. it would start with my legs getting numb, then it would hit me. I would feel like im in virtual reality like im watching a movie or dreaming. i felt like i was trapped in a bubble and i felt like i was going to lose my mind and go insane.. now im starting to take control of it but it still gets the best of me I realize that it would take its toll and finally vanish
i love you you just made me look at life a whole diffrent way
this guy helped me so much i thought i was the only 1 thanks
For me, the worst feeling is the numbness, as if a part of my brain has died. I can act normal, but something feels off with me all the time. This off-feeling makes it so hard to make conversation and be social with friends and family, its like i cant get excited anymore and therefore i feel like im silent all the time. I literally get exhausted from just keeping smalltalk going, its the worst thing ever, the lack of joy and feeling of faking enthusiasm all the time every second of talking. It triggers the fatigue and the fatigue triggers the off-feeling, you are stuck in a bad paradox. You are constantly ruminating around this feeling or to explain better the lack off feeling in everything...
How are you now?
Thanks Noah.. we really needed this!!
I'm so glad you made these videos
I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of your videos they really help me a lot. I've suffered from dp/dr since July and sometimes it will leave for a few weeks but it usually doesn't go away. It always felt like a sort of virtual reality feeling like I was in a simulator of some sort. I can't have conversations with people without becoming anxious because it never seems like I'm the one doing the talking and the way you explain it is really accurate for me too. I guess I'm somewhat used to it at this point to where it doesn't really cause as much anxiety than it did when I had no idea what was going on, but it's still incredibly unpleasant. I'm on thyroid medication since I've always had hypothyroid and that may be one of the causes so hopefully it will get better soon. Thanks again!
Hey know no, vids are the best, how has your mood improved. Topics are great. I'm finally getting back at crossfit slowly but the recovery is intense and I think there is a CNS component here that needs more healing before I push the fuck out of it. But I did a Wod yesterday and it was so fun even though I had dp/dr. I notice adrenaline eventually clears it then later it backfired. Anyway food for thought on recovery. I believe there is recovery even though I been at it for years. Fuck this needs to end. Blessings my friend
I usually just say nothing looks, feel real, like my own hands, body etc, basically like you're dreaming. And sometimes even the dreams feels real.
Jonny Q same
I've had anxiety and worry all my life. I had a full blown panic attack last summer where everything looked blurry. Ever since then, my anxiety has been high. My recent anxious hangup is that I don't see my environment quite right.. Like fuzzy. I really believe that just thinking about it and reverting back to that day makes it so I imagine it's there. It's NOT! An anxious brain is powerful and it will find something to try to hang you up in life.
you're awesome bro. Love your videos. thanks for sharing your experiences
+barry simmons I appreciate the love Barry.
I find it hard to describe DP to my family and friends so I usually just say it kinda feels like ur high all the time but it never stops. I'm going through therapy right now and the only time I feel like myself is for like 2 secs of each session so 2 secs a week I feel like myself. I'm finding it's getting worse then when it started, I've tried dating with it and it only ended up with us breaking up. I just want to say thank u for finally helping me describe what I have to my friends and family!
Oh my God I'm so glad I've found some people who know what it feels like
I feel disconnected from my body, I cannot enjoy the little things like looking at birds. I recognize its a bird, i hear its chirps but all the joy is completely gone. I'm so emotionally blocked, My mother who has been with me my entire life shes much older and im youngest of 8 kids. For the first time in my life i no longer see her daily, I need a job, and my dog I've had for 11yrs recently died, I broken up with someone i been with for 3yrs. All of tjis happened in a span of 5 months. I couldnt even cry as much as I wanted to. Now I'm just walking and feeling like a visible ghost.
How are you now?
i experienced it as watching yourself through a security glas. You see yourself wandering around, being despared, helpless, rotting functioning. The "Real You" behind the security glas is screaming shouting and punching the glas and trying to get back to yourself, wanting to shake the "unreal you" and get him back to reality, but the security glas just won't break. All the real emotions and real life are in this "real you" behind the security glas, and you watch this wandering Zombie living numb.
i never knew this was a disorder. i thought i was crazy. i didnt tell anyone because i thought it was just roll over. its the most terrifying thing ive ever lived thru. i didnt want to get out of bed. the only way i can describe it is being on auto pilot.
feeling of disconnection from the world and a mirage of your conciousness
Its good to know that you're not the only one going through something. Well I've been depersonalized and derealized for 10 years now. Mine was due to trauma, a lot of crazy stuff happened in my family when I was a kid even till now, it really messed me up. Everything feels like a dream, objects around me are wider and flat and seem farther away from me. I get panic attacks like occasionally. I'm also aggressive towards people even though I don't wanna be. Sometimes I come back to reality, and then I get really scared and start screaming and crying involuntarily cos even though it looks real I'm just so used to seeing everything distorted and then i revert back to the dream state. Also I tend to laugh alot, also find it very hard to focus. I find it really hard to make proper eye contact with people. It's just really crazy.
I feel like I'm watching a dream while I'm sleeping
Like when you go to sleep at night and then you watch dreams so I feel like that.
I also feel that nothing is real and everything is illusion
Like feeling not existing.....
I just feel like that
I just feel like this, Is it also depersonalization, and I think I have depersonalization as when my anxiety goes off
So Do I have depersonalization or what?
been dealing with it on and off for years. never knew what it was until I had my own mental breakdown in 2012. I started vigorously searching for an answer and came on to this channel and cried for hours going threw depersonalzation videos and then watched numb and realized this is what I've been dealing with all my life. a good example of what it feels like, It feels a lot like a light psychedelic trip,but ALWAYS a bad,scary one..
For years I had felt that nothing around my was real, and I was just a robot that I couldn't control. It wasn't till three days ago that I finally had enough and needed to know what was happened. I knew that this couldn't be normal, because no one else felt the same way I did. I looked up "what does it mean if I feel like nothing is real" I am 13 and glad that I finally know why I think the way I do.
It’s like I’m watching someone talk and I don’t even know who I am at that time.
I feel often that I'm not really here, like I'm dreaming, like my body is there but I'm somewhere else and it happened so often that it concerned me so I searched it up and this makes so much sense now. Idk for definite if it is this but it would make sense
Thank you.. I describe it this way.. Know when you're on a plane and your ears plug up as you're landing? How everything around you almost sounds like a hum? You can hear things but it's muffled and you just want to yawn or chew gum so it will pop? That's what it feels like.. But more so in my vision. It's like a bubble of that humming but it affects all my senses. They are dimmed and moving more slowly than the world around me. Lights, crowds, stores.. They feel like this overload of sensory that makes me anxious and afraid.. Trying to process it all feels overly hard.. Downright painful. It's a dream.. Floating.. Everything feels mistimed and out of focus.
It's been 3 years for me... Onset was extreme stress and realization of my childhood trauma and recurring & continuing family abuse.
I've gotten out of those relationships and the stress is significantly reduced but the dp remains. I've stopped getting angry at it.. It's here to protect me.. Hugs!
By the way, I notice that "warm" bulbs in my lamps really helps as opposed to bright blue lights.. Maybe that's just me though..
Id stopped watching tv and trying to read books about 2 years ago. It was too hard to concentrate.. But now that the anxiety has lifted, I've been forcing myself to try for a little bit each day. It's really hard but I watch familiar movies and read easy stuff.. Fluff. It's ok.. It's a start. I've accepted the condition is here and am just living with it and introducing little things to the point of mildly uncomfortable. Everything I read says to almost ignore it while changing the things you talked abt and instructing some of the old "scary" things back in. Thanks again.
Perfect analogy of wanting your ears to pop to rediscover reality again. I've always likened it to constantly having water in your ears or the sensation of being under water- muffled and distorted- both visually and audibly
Nathan Trudgill
It's really hard to explain.. but yes.. being under water is what it feels like.
I remember waking up one day and everything seemed strange. It literally happened overnight.
Nathan Trudgill
Similar here.. I was taking a road trip and it happened then.
i never knew about depersonalization until recently but it sounds an awful lot like what i experienced when i was a kid. whenever it happened, i always had this hyper-awareness of my own body and my own existence and it was always such a terrifying feeling. often times that feeling would be triggered if i saw a photo of myself or saw my reflection. nowadays, these feelings don't really occur at all anymore. but looking back it kinda makes more sense why it happened when i was younger considering the unstable home environment i grew up in and dealing with an abusive older brother. and i always seemed to have a migraines so intense it would make me vomit. i don't know why my parents didn't take notice and do anything about these issues i had :(
think i had this yesterday... walking through town and i have social anxiety so usually im nervous, stressed and hyper aware of my surroundings.. but yesterday i walked through town, people everywhere, but i suddenly had no care for it, no anxiety, walking along without a care in the world, humming and stuff.. delirious and manic. felt dreamy and strange like nothing matters.
felt like this before from sleel deprivation.. i have an unhealthy diet and lifestyle which doesn't help.
you are explaining it so well thank you!
OMG I KNOW I LOOKED AT MY HAND AND ALL I SAW WAS SCARED OMG
Just started watching your videos a few weeks ago. They are very good. When I started with my anxiety disorder back in my late teens and early 20's the first thing I noticed is that when I looked at my hands and arms i couldn't not totally reckonize them as a part of me. They seemed blurred and foriegn to me. I had no clue what was happening. Just thought I was losing my mind. Damn I was scared.
Love your channel bro I get what I have now..🙌🙏
You basically feel like a witness, not the participant.
Hi, I feel like I'm in a dream and everyone is human and I'm a robot. It's like I'm on autopilot 24/7. This is making me depressed, anxious and unmotivated. I can't do much of my school work because of it, I can't take in anything the teachers are saying and it makes me not hungry and not wanting to eat too. I make myself eat breakfast lunch and dinner so I know it's not down to a lack of eating. I put a mask on every day to cover the fact I don't feel like me, or I'm not here and hide it until I go to bed because I don't want my parents to worry. I've talked to them a bit, and I should have a therapist by 2 weeks time. Again, it's like I'm dreaming about me, but I don't look like me or wake up. I sometimes want to make it stop and kill my self, and I feel bad for my friends that they have someone around them who isn't fully there or in control. I don't feel like I'm normal, or will be normal again. Any tips on my mess of a brain?
I have been like that for 10 years. You are spot on but not alone.
i have the same exact effects as you i have that exact same mentality that life is just going by auto pilot and you feel so out of it right? your head is always foggy and you dont know who you are anymore.
How are you getting on now?
this may sound like a clear cut question but its not. For years I thought I just had social anxiety and generalized. I think we can sometimes get used to feeling a certain way and think its anxiety. For me, I came up I had DP on my own. My psych at the time said, 'oh don't worry about that feeling it will go away." Never did lol. But my social anxiety improved dramatically. Now I fear no one really nor care but feel dead inside.
Dude same..it stops social anxiety dosent it
@@nerdymom2 haha this was four years ago : ). I forgot I even wrote this.
I will be walking around and just kind of ask myself “What was/am I doing?” “Why am I doing this?” I will also start trying to tell myself “My name is Gavin, that is my name.” “ Am I really here?” I begin to start questioning things and start thinking things might not be real. I might start looking at my arms and legs and notice how they move and ask myself why they are moving, or what is really making them move. Every time I look in the mirror I always find someone a little off about me face and how I look. Can someone tell me if this sounds like depersonalization? -Thank you.
Yeah, look like it. I'm experiencing the same things... Not pleasant feeling huh.
Same here g and im scared I'm going to feel this forever I've been feeling this for over 1 month it comes and goes all the time
@@fannytaylorhamel3633 yes it is
@@valleytonyvidzz918 how are u now? I’m experiencing this now
@@brice-9696 well now Im not feeling 100% but I feel a lot better If you have this just stop looking at videos like these they just make it worse if You need any more help lmk
I just realized this is what I have at the moment and although I look somewhat normal on the outside, on the inside it's like a dream. I'm usually more mindful and loving but I'm just stuck in ocd crazy mean random thoughts and coming off as a straight up ahole to everyone and its killing inside even more because I cant stop it. So numb, all my energy has to focus on myself or ill lose it completely so then I come off as selfish. Losing relationships and people I love the most and the ability to even properly carry out respectful conversations. And I don't even have the emotion to feel any of the facts of this Behavior.I know I'm not like this, this isnt me. Thank you for making this video it is very inspiring.
Hey thanks for this honesty. Before I get an anxiety attack, I sometimes look down at my hand and think, “who’s hand is that?” I know cognitively it’s mine but it’s when my periphery is going away on that side. Then the attack tightens up my muscles and I begin to shake like I’m cold . Really uncomfortable phenomenon.
finally i find someone who understands me!!!! it is crazy i know....it is like a video game everydayyyy!!! it seems like ur body has its own will and u get lost in ur head
Prayers for everyone who is going through this
I'm twelve and I just got it I didn't completely understand it until you told me so thank you
Thank you, the thought of Derealization really scares me.
I have the exact same thoughts that you had, i can look at my hand and know it's mine but i just somehow don't believe? that it's my hand.
I drink a lot of energy drinks and have horrible sleep schedule aswell :P
i will cut those out and hopefully recover from whatever i'm suffering from.
Thank you for recommending Numb movie, keep it up Noah.
No prob my friend.
watching this makes me almost want to cry because its the worst thing... I can't connect with my children I can't connect with my husband.. mental illness sucks. but I do have hope. thank you for your videos.
I just feel like im fake and everything around me is fake. It all started when I have a headache started to feel dizzy and then just thought about it and started to feel fake sometimes whenever im social or with people it goes away but then come back again
Thanks for this, Noah. For once, I can say that I cannot include this disorder in my smorgasbord of mental health issues. Numb, yes. But not a dreamlike state. Right now, I am just sort of riding along in medicated contentment. Just a soft, cottony fog, neither pleasant nor unpleasant. I will start weaning off the lithium on March 1, and I will hopefully get some of my emotions back.
Pax Christi
Justin
+jtjorden I always value you checking in. I like your description "soft, cottony fog, neither pleasant nor unpleasant. Rooting for the emotions to come back smoothly and for your taper off Lithium to be trouble free.
Thanks for this kind of video again :)
You're very welcome.
I first experienced this being abused as a child and throughout my life I've actually learned how to "turn it on and off," so to speak. I feel like my mind used it as a defense mechanism and it would terrify me as a child and throughout my adolescence I would play around putting myself in and out of the state of mind. I thought I was the only person dealing g with this up until a few years ago
Yep 'alternate reality' is a great analogy
A councillor once said to me I had this. It’s as though I get bouts of it. I suffer Depression /Anxiety have done so for about 28 years. I have wrote diary’s after diaries and read them now and then. Nothing really changed. Still here to tell the tale. At the moment I’m feeling like in a dream state not real. I look in the mirror and don’t recognise myself. I look at my grandkids and I know their mine but they don’t feel like mine. I look at photos of my family and they seem like strangers. I feel so empty and numb at times. Horrible to live like this. Your videos which I’ve just stumbled on this last week have been of help just knowing you and loads like me are the same. I’ve watched The film Numb not sure what to make of it. All though I have similar stuff going on 🙂
its like the walls are caving in
Right on point my brotha!
How are you now?
I've experienced it in bursts especially when I was younger. I was used to feeling numb and disconnected so I didn't think much of it. Now that I've recovered I can see how bad it was.
I've been describing these feelings to people for years, like being somewhere see myself tanlking to people but not feeling like I am the one "producing those words". I never knew this was a thing
First, I agree with everything Bigno says here.
Second, I want people suffering from this to know that once you recognize depersonalization for what it is (an irrational reaction by your brain and body) you WILL gain control over it. The fear of entering a depersonalized state is a big part of what causes it. I know it feels like you're going crazy, but you're not. Trust me, I've been through it and conquered it many years ago. But I was scared as all hell for awhile.
Dream like state is an absolutely perfect description. Nightmare like is more like it. Terrible anxiety provoking
I hope I'm not late to this, I hope someone reads this. Anyway 2 nights ago i had a huge panic attack, I've never felt anything like it before. It was the first time ever. After that experience, I've felt as if I'm not myself but someone just watching there life pass by through a tv screen. Im glad i found this video but also really scared because this isnt normal and i hope i can escape this dreamlike feeling. The video explained exactly what I am feeling now, like my mind and body are just disconnected and it scares me so much that I feel like I have to talk to somebody, anybody at this point because i feel so lost right now. This is real and I hope no else has to go what I'm going through right now. I hope to one day make a video like this in the future about what it was like to go through this so that anybody going through this doesn't feel alone. I'm looking for help right now, you should too if you know you are dealing with DP/DR.
help me
ive been dealing with this everyday for the past 3 years now. literally there isnt one moment that im awake that I feel any relief from it lmao
I feel like there are times where there is times where it just kicks in and it feels like my awareness is altered almost like I'm high
The main thing I experience with DR/DP is like I'm half conscious all the time. That's about the best way I would explain it to people, just relating it to feeling half asleep, but not for like a few minutes in the morning, instead, ALL DAY, EVERY DAY.
Brilliant video!!! I had an anxiety attack for the first time in my life 6 months ago and ever since I've suffered bad with depersonalisation. It was the night after my girlfriends 18th birthday party who I had been with 3 months at the time, I went to a concert with 2 friends and had an attack. If anyone has had a similar situation I'd appreciate it if you reply with anything as it's been extremely hard for me to deal with seen as one night this happened then I woke up the next day and haven't been the same since...thank you.
I sometimes think as if I am a different being in this planet....the only one able to see and feel things while others are just normal being...
As if I am an alien in this world of normal...my existence is a glitch in the matrix..
I can relate to everything in this video. I still feel like it isn't really what I have. When I'm typing this, it doesn't actually feel like I'm touching the keys, but I know I am. The worst part is, I've had this for as long as I remember. I'm currently 14 years old, and I think this started in the start of spring 2015. I have an unknown kind of autism, so I left my old school and started on another one. More people came and came, and I got more tired and tired. I can't remember anything past that. Only small pictures.
Love your channel. Hey, how long did it take for the DP/DR To go away after you quit drinking??