Why Self-Motivation Feels Impossible with ADHD & How to Fix It đ§
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 1. 06. 2024
- đ„ADHD motivation is a HOT topic. Mostly because we struggle to figure it out. I know how tough it can be to find that spark to get things started and keep them going. Whether itâs tackling big projects or just getting through daily tasks, the struggle is real-but it doesn't have to be overwhelming.
đ§ Weâll explore why motivation is particularly challenging when you have ADHD and how it's all linked to dopamine-a key neurotransmitter that governs not just motivation but also focus, memory, and reward sensations. Understanding this connection is the first step in transforming how you approach tasks and goals.
âš I'm sharing practical strategies that have not only worked for me but have also helped countless clients boost their motivation. From rethinking your approach to productivity to small, manageable changes you can make right now, this video is packed with actionable advice.
đ Donât forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more insights and strategies. Your engagement helps me create content that resonates with you and supports others in our community. Drop a comment below to share your experiences or ask a question-I love hearing from you!
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Introduction
00:27 Learn Self-Motivation
01:17 Importance of Dopamine
02:30 Dopamine Mechanics
03:41 Generating Dopamine
05:34 Unpacking Intrinsic Motivation
07:59 Building Self-Motivation
09:33 Intrinsic vs Extrinsic
11:16 Self-Motivation Steps
15:13 Conclusion
»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»
đ C O M E S A Y H I !
⥠Identify your strengths, needs and values
⥠Website: itsadhdfriendly.com
⥠Instagram: / carenmagill
⥠R E S O U R C E S
DISTRACTION TO ACTION SELF-PACED ADHD COACHING PROGRAM : bit.ly/3UI02w0
VISION TO ACTION NOTION TEMPLATE - bit.ly/3XEAYZc
THE ORGANIZED BUSINESS - bit.ly/3LOSRB2
ADHD-Friendly Approved Amazon Shop
www.amazon.com/shop/influence...
⥠CONTACT:
For potential business inquiries and partnerships: caren@itsadhdfriendly.com
Thanks for watching, and Iâll see you in the next video. Bye for now! đ
#ADHDMotivation #ADHDCoach #GetThingsDone - Jak na to + styl
Iâm always late. I have issue with getting in the shower I will pace back and forth in front of shower just canât put my foot in . When I do Iâm fine to take a shower then . This is a secret I donât want people to know I have such struggles. Thought Iâd mention in case others have such troubles itâs like a concrete wall to break through most days
Iâm like this too đ„č good to know Iâm not alone
I find tiny little projects to do instead of starting that shower or brushing my teeth or whatever it is that moment
Very much relatableđąđ
@@sunrisedino9066đ
You are not only not alone, but this is something that is definitely not a permanent problem. When I had this at its worst, feeling all the way through to the ground that there was no end in sight was my *reality.* Then, a person becomes isolated, and the time spent in this state feels even more like a permanent reality. Every little move to break things down and down into manageable steps helps me. Making a "Did" list along with (or instead of) a to-do list, and leaving other people's expectations/judgments as their reality and not mine all helps. Momentum can work on the way down emotionally, .It can also help build you back up.
I used to have what I call "good brain days" more often. I'm 47 and I'm finding it harder and harder to have these days. I have multiple prescriptions for my ADHD, anxiety, depression and sleep. It's so hard everyday to just get the basic things done. I'm a single mom with 4 kids. There's nothing left in my tank when I get home at night.
All that medicine - has a doctor ever asked to do the easy test to check your estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone? There is help for perimenopause - find a good doctor aka a doctor not in the dark ages concerning todayâs hormone replacement. My estrogen level was in single digits - now it Hoovers over 100 - has been life changing! Even progesterone cream from Amazon helped - only regret was not supplementing sooner! Good luck Moma! Xo, Regina
@@TheRADboutiqueDotCom thank you for that tip! Not sure why I haven't thought to have that checked. I will have my PCP check it. I'm 47, so that is definitely a possibility. I talked to a psychiatrist the other day and found out one of my sleep meds could be seriously exacerbating my ADHD symptoms and memory problems. I've just been putting bandaids on top of bandaids since my divorce 7yrs ago. It's time to peel the layers and get it figured out.
Thank you for your service
Stay encouraged.. Take it one day at a time, and give yourself grace for this season of your lifeâŠThis too shall pass !! Youâre on this page, so that speaks to your desire to make better. That is a huge step!! Iâm going to pray for you right now!!
@@room2growrose623 thank you for your kind words. Have a blessed day!
For me not starting the business is not about anything what you mentioned. For me it is about all the endless alternatives and ideas. Iâm running on all ideas and never get a straight direction, which makes me never get the routine and consistency that is needed to run a business.
Or I am not even trying to start one because the alternatives are endless and it makes me overwhelmed. Itâs like I need a frame or clear boundaries to be able to be creative and productive.
Very good described that we can forget the goal when focusing on the small tasks. Even though I am very big picture and goal oriented, I sometimes forget this because of my time blindness and focus.
Are you me? đ
We're all the same person đ
Emotional connection -> Manage mood -> Start small -> Body double -> Celebrate wins!
This gave me better understanding of why my teen son with ADHD struggles to do homework and chores and tells me he can't just chose to do it even though he knows it's important. I love that you used the term body doubling- I previously thought "he needs a babysitter", but "body double" is less negative and a nice reframe for me to view this need. I also learned that I should allow him more freedom to chose what order to do tasks instead of telling him to do what I feel is most important and then get frustrated with him when he doesn't follw through. So thank you for all the education and insight you shared! I subscribed and will continue to tune in.
You sound like a wonderful mother! †edit: or father lol I should have said parent đ
Iâve been in a rut of wanting to do stuff but unable to focus long enough to get anything of importance done. Itâs really affecting my life right now and causing a lot of problems
I just got diagnosed with ADHD and Iâm almost 30. I struggled throughout my childhood and all my doctors just said âeh its depression. Weâll throw depression meds at you.â They never did anything. It wasnât the source of my issue! I finally got an appointment with my moms family doctor and she had me go through all the questions and right at the end before she even âgradedâ it she said âyou have ADHD and have all your life. Weâre going to help you and your brain make your life a little easier.â This was 2 months ago.
Iâm so happy to have found your channel and to finally- *finally* be able to live happy and help myself be better at things I struggled with for so long. My 5 year old just got diagnosed with ADHD last month, and Iâm pretty sure my husband has undiagnosed ADHD as well.
To anyone out there struggling, youâre not alone! We can all do this together đ
Can I ask are you taking medication and if so, how are you finding it?
12:21 Thank you for making the distinction between a task and a project. So many non-ADHD-ers see projects as if they were individual tasks, and then wonder why ADHD-ers get overwhelmed at the prospect of them.
I really struggle with intrinsic motivation. I learned at an early age to bottle my emotions (which is preferable to venting, certainly, but it's much better to be taught how to PROCESS them), and the long-term effect is that I just... don't... feel things anymore? Like, I genuinely can't think of the last time I felt any kind of eagerness looking forward to anything. Extrinsic motivation works great. If I'm being graded/evaluated in any way, I get stuff done, and I do it well. But anything that's "just" for me? It's not going to get done until leaving it undone causes more problems than ignoring it. (And most creative tasks, which are the tasks I come closest to enjoying, never fall into that category.) I almost need to start with step zero - learning how to feel things again - before I can even hope to harness emotion to help me get stuff done đ€·ââ
That said, when I DO need to get stuff done, I can vouch for the fact that the "little wins" method works great (12:18). Or, as I like to put it, "Something is always better than nothing." I'm better off doing a small task imperfectly than waiting until I can do a larger task perfectly, because then I will have made a modicum of progress. A baby step is always better than no steps.
You are the ONLY person on this internet planet of info- who says it right- and help meâŠ. I am going to keep pressing in- and saving my life hereâŠ. Thank you
One year of therapy wrapped up into one video. Thank you for your insight and suggestions. â€â€â€
No kidding. I feel the same way.
The intrinsic vs extrinsic rewards info was an aha for me. Trying to explain to coaches and course instructors that gold stars don't do it for me always gets me suggestions of gold star substitutes. Aaaargh! Folks who are motivated by those things can't seem to grasp that it does not matter how big the gold star. Now I have info to add. Thanks.
As for emotional connection to the feeling youâre going to feel when itâs done- a new thing i learned is that we donât get dopamine from completing tasks. Itâs why I do everything 90%. Finishing isnât better than 90% for me, actually 90% is better because then I can stop.
One of the things that have helped me a little is to set short timers for tasks I have to do but donât feel like doing. So if I have to write an email, Iâll set a 3 mns timer and when it goes off I check myself, I feel the reward of having done those 3 mns and set another timer to finish. Same with exercise. Different timers for different types of tasks depending on how long each one takes. If itâs a long taks, Iâll set for 15-20 mns. Itâs really helped me
Thank you
My children tell me that I have ADHD, I didn't believe them. After watching your videos. You described everything I go through. I can't even finish one project. Getting my kitchen clean is always a win.
I always appreciate your insight, but having ADHD makes it difficult to wait 10 minutes into your video before you get to the suggestions.
She actually starts the explanation at around the 1:05. Itâs very helpful, I find, to have an understanding of the science behind the behavior in order to sustain change, so Iâm glad she gives the explanation first. There is a â©button.
Uhhh, we've been doing it for years before our diagnoses...
â@@Heyu7her3 Difficult still!
You can use the transcript feature to find the actual info
Playback speed 1:75 helps a lot
You have been a hope for me, you said
ADHD have a high sense of justice -> I have it
ADHD love becoming life coaches -> I want to
@taukirsyed1769 I've always wondered about my strong sense of justice, never understood the connection with ADHD! Can you tell me which video she spoke about that?
â@@dimplez1ish
I've been binge watching her videos and heard that somewhere and it stuck with me.
I will let you know once I find that.
I just can't get started on tasks i need to do...this video coming in just in time.
Thanks for hitting on the intrinsic motivation point. The ADHD brain, being wired differently, is also wired for those âdifferentâ kinds of life tasks and jobs that are often overlooked and minimized in our society. We are very often highly creative and absolutely thrive in nature. We are intrinsically motivated through these types of avenues, but public high schools and colleges do not âcountâ these as any job worth encouraging.
So, the strong will learn to modify their brain and behaviors to fit society better. But the stronger will break out of the broken society system and live life the way they were meant to.
For me, I need to eat the frog first. Because after all the smaller tasks, I will have no energy left to tackle the frog. The struggle is, to get started with the frog đŹ
I feel like both are true for me. Sometimes I never start anything because I need to eat a frog first and don't want to (like just figuring out how to actually do a thing is a frog). Other times I realllly need to eat the frog first. Example: I really want to get in shape and start working out again. I'm bad about waking up on time, let alone early, but the odds of me actually doing the workout are even lower at the end of the day when I'm work-tired instead of groggy-tired, plus when I actually wake up early and do the workout, I get a whole endorphin boost off of it that makes my whole morning feel so much more productive. I wish I remembered that when my alarm goes off and I just want to sleep.
Screw the acronyms! This is good and helpful for Everybody ! should be taught in schools đ So so happy I found your channelâŠ
I hate having ADHD, I have lots of talents for a great business. N my fear is bigger than anything,, I hate it,,
The question is: do we have all of these talents and ideas for business because of our ADHD? 50% of entrepreneurs in the U.S. have ADHD. Maybe it is our destiny, but it is not easy to fulfill.
I've always described my time awake as being trapped in a swimming pool full of jello. FINALLY, someone else gets it! I feel so much better and have so much more hope after watching this video than I ever have had after 2 DECADES of therapy and meditation!!! OMG THANK YOU
As another someone with ADHD, I can say that you are literally on it with every single point that resonates with me.
Most ADHD videos hit most of my issues, but you went point for point, up to, and including starting a company (not certain of what) but KNOWING I'd fail at it so why even try and, hold up... NOT thinking I have ANY true intrinsic interests, period.
Self sabatage. Low self esteem. A mind that makes it harder to do something, the harder I try... đźâđš
ADHD actually SUCKS. Not being able to pay bills and get an oil change SUCKS. đ„
âThatâs not a task. Thatâs a PROJECT.â As much as I logically know this, it really helps to hear it stated exactly like that. Your content is super insightful and actionable. I really appreciate the effort and energy you put into helping ADHD entrepreneurs get out of our own way. Thank you đâ€ïžđ
I literally have piles of tasks littered throughout my home awaiting some massive influx of motivation. The fallacy of this, of course, is that there are now so many that I don't know which to tackle first, crippling me into task paralysis. Your insights here are definitely the shift in thought I've needed to deprogram old and ineffective modes of thought around their completion. I don't know if I have ADHD, but it doesn't matter if these techniques are relevant. Thank-you so much for sharing this video!
Yes, this. I make so many lists, but I can't keep track of them or prioritize or begin to tackle. I have trouble separating my bare functioning from my fantasy life. If I would just do life and trudge on through, instead of being in paralysis from being disappointed that I am not achieving Fantasy me like the CZcams's ... Look, can't even finish a complete thought.
The thing that helps me with this one is to go in with the intention of doing tasks in a non-optimal order
I'm so glad to have you here, giving me guidance on how to push the right buttons.. Thaaank youuu!
You got this!
I would love to hear speak to ADHD and the elderly.
So many rude comments! I found every minute of what you said very interesting and important to know. I need underlying info before you give me a 1. 2. 3. list, so THANK YOU for this! đ
I don't think I have ADHD - more a terrible fear of failure, but this video has given me some good ideas about overcoming this. Thank you â€
Your elegant explanation of working memory and its effect on emotional connections and intrinsic motivation really hit home. Whilst the knowledge feels a little bitter-sweet looking back on my own life, it's knowing kids can be taught this from the start of theirs that really makes it so valuable. Cheers!
I watched this more than once. After the last one I started a section in my journal called Positive Filing Cabinet, where I wrote the purpose is to fill it with a daily summary of small wins. Tbh watching the whole video was a win, so that was my first entry đđœ and also that I managed to take notes with diagrams (mini dopamine fixđ ) to help me understand all the connections she talked about. And now...I think can handle another task today, yay! đȘđŸ đ
I already Tried the method of acknowladeing my achievements, as small as the. ight have been, and it did help some what, but the negative as you starte correctly, usually overpowers.
Your method of giving these positive moments not just a few second, as I did til now, but actually remaining and lingering for a few minutes, makes a lot of sense, that this way will engrave itself into the brain more permanently.
All the other tips and explanations are great as well.
thank you!!
Great insights into dopamine and motivation! Starting with quick wins is such a practical way to build momentum and positivity. đŻ
Hihi! Yes I understand but sometimes in therapy, it's also a struggle to be LESS emotional, lol like adhd meds...up then down contradictory... concentrate on values.
Thoughts and behavior
That last step is such a good tip to use! Thank you!
The working memory issue thing makes so much sense!! Thank you âĄ
Finding it so hard to focus on this video đ
I appreciate your organic way of creating more dopamine in the brain. Thank you for the advice.
How about trying to focus during a breakdown? Of which focus seems completely impossible?
There are days when my mind is so clouded and headaches which seem like a dull pain but like a continual unending feeling which interrupts my ability to focus. But the only thing I can seem to do is watch CZcams and encounter videos like this one.
And when I need to do something, I have to convince myself that it needs to get done⊠and afterwards take another rest: and work has also been a challenge:
See a counselor⊠not a chance⊠the system is broken because the psychology is also flawed⊠I have chosen to deal with issues in my own way⊠and perhaps write a book.
Great video Caren! This is what I need the most to thrive with my ADHD and ASD, motivation to do what is needed. And all I do now, is supposed to be in/around my interests, even though it has been so hard to start the little tasks. Thank you so much, your videos are so helpfull. You are also so beautiful, it helps watching to the end of ur videos, jeje. Blessings
Wow ! Thank you - I needed this today â
Actually some helpful ideas! Thank you, got a new subscriber!
Yes, I think it all boils down to cultivating our reason why?
No. That is a total failure for me.
We know why, we know itâs important and we want to do it but we canât do it. That the start point of the video not the solution
so helpful and relevant, thank you!
I really appreciate your videos, thank you! As one of the commentors mentioned; your info is direct and to the point in an ocean of information and vloggers where it's so difficult to get relevant /helpful advice.
I appreciate that!
Very good ideas and recommendations start at 11.00!!đđ
Very nice definition of intrinsic motivation as a consistent theme.
I loved this video, it came at the right time! Iâm in such a hole at the moment so will start with little things. Than you! X
I zoned out and missed half the video but Im happy to give u more views
Thanks! I love your clarity and I relate to all of this.
Thank you, Caren. I listen to you message almost daily. Sometimes I listen to your message/insight 2 or 3 times. Your words here resonate and are impactful to me. Thank you
Thank you! The information in this video is so helpful. Body doubling and why attempting some tasks is harder than others (if I didn't feel successful before and have to revisit the task). I appreciate how much you share with us!
Thanks, great video
This was so helpful!!
Those ANTS are so demotivating! Thanks for your videos!
Insane information here just love it !!!! Wow this is helping me, some of the stuff I figured out myself and trying to use these tricks.
This channel is treasure. Thank you Caren.
Wow, thank you!
Thank you.
If self-motivation with ADHD were a sport, it'd be more like trying to score a touchdown in a pool of hummus-slippery, messy, and you're just sinking deeper trying to reach the end zone!
00:00 - Dive into the rollercoaster of ADHD self-motivation: sometimes you're a superhero, other days you're a couch potato!
01:30 - The low-dopamine struggle is real: feels like trying to run through hummus or dealing with the erectile dysfunction of the brain!
03:41 - Quick wins first! Forget the taxes, start with the jams and vibes to boost that dopamine.
07:21 - Watch out for brain ants! They're not the picnic type but the kind that feeds on your self-doubt with every failed task.
11:28 - Discover your intrinsic motivation-it might not pay the bills, but it'll sure pay off in dopamine!
13:56 - Celebrate small victories because every little win in the ADHD world feels like winning an Oscar for Best Motivation in a Leading Role!
Just found you. Iâm looking forward to follow this channel â€ïž. My strategy is to breaking down big goals into small tasks so Iâm able to make small wins. I think BJ Foggs research on tiny habits have been really useful
Welcome!!
đ love the analogy
Oh, my good! I do start (plan to start) the day with the ting which is most importen (and have been the most importent thing a looooong time). I wake up every day to a bunch of "have to do's"), and had forgot the "want to do's.
Have sitting now and try to remember what I used to like doing - a lot for the brain som for the physics/creativity. Suddenly I finger it out I have to start my days whit things that get me satisfaction/happiness/ephoria. So, to morrow is my most importent thing to do DANCE đ.
@carenmcgill Can you please do a video on adhd and menopause? It was life-changing foe me
Do you have any formal training on Cognitive behavior therapy?
I disagree with the intrinsic motivation thing. I have Inattentive ADHD and autism. The emotional connection only works on a temporary basis maybe. The 5 minutes thing is good in my experience.
When you got to talking about poor working memory, I forgot what you said in the first part of the video đ
OMG.... everything you're saying probably makes sense, and is very useful. I'm only halfway through the vid and I have no idea what you said. You're talking so fast, and the constant pop up words and graphics are so distracting I can't remember what you just said.
The whole dopamine thing does sound important & valuable to understand.
Maybe if you edit the redundant verbage, and remember there's no rush to present your msg?
I feel so down, because there's dozs of great comments. Obviously everyone else gets it.
I have to watch her videos at least a couple times. I think I'm going to try someone's suggestion of changing the playback speed to something slower.
I didn't know you could do that.
There's a scene from The Fifth Element, where Leelu has just been created. She's in an ace bandage outfit. The camera shows her perspective, after she gets out of the tube. BLINK-BLINK-BLINK-BLINK-BLINK, fast scenes shoot by. That's what it's like for me, watching vids like this.
Do you have recommendations on how to get tested for ADHD? I'm a little late for getting tested but it's never too late to try. Thanks
Hi Caren, how many medium and tough tasks a day should be completed by a 40 years old based on statistics?
2:07 "running through hummus"
Is that an expression where you're from?
Dear ADHD Coach,
Please add timestamps.
Fellow Adhd-er.
Hey Caren, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?
Dam ya right ...the more we do quick wins ..we can attack the bigger one dam 43 years and now I know ...n body double but only in real life can't body double in zoom just doesn't work
Many many alarms on your phone can help. Alarms for everything
@@M_SC alarms how many lol how do you use your alarms
Everything is interesting thatâs the problem
I was okay for the last letâs say 5months (since my last final exams )until yesterday as i have another exam in 3days and I canât do anything in my life even my daily routine stuffđąđąđąđąđąđąđąđąđąđą
If you are in negative emotion, it's a lot harder to motivate. How can you bring up your emotional level? Can you do something kind for yourself?
@@CarenMagill i paint and listen to music but I think itâs kind of escapism
I also tend to clean my room or rearrange my closet to feel the dopamine of achievement and thatâs kinda motivates me to start âïž
@@CarenMagill†youâre doing such good work helping us all Caren!
A bit Kate now, I have been like that since childhood. So now at 68 this Information will do nothing for me. To much to little too late
If Karen put time stamps in her videos, then it would help people. Whadya think, Karen? Doh. I meant to attach this to the person who was struggling through the intro and wanted to get into tips asap...
Id say 676 HP
At 9:50 when she claimed my lack of interest was not true and was simply a "mindset" issue, made me laugh and laugh before making this comment and moving onto the next CZcams bullshitter.
Sooo if you really wanted to help me you wouldnât make me wait so long. Iâm out at 2:22. Video is toooo long
Lkmm.nđ
Iâm a week before finals, and I have 64 assignments of backlog I need to get done. I feel like garbage. Wish me luck
You can do it!
Make a list.
Set timers.
Take care of yourself.
đ€
Yes, I think it all boils down to cultivating our reason why?