My first wife started an affair with a "bad boy" only 9 months into the marriage. I tried to make it work for 3 years after that, not necessarily because I was deeply in love with her but because I stupidly believed the thought that you only get married once and you stayed married no matter what. She put me through hell for those three years because she wasn't going to file but she felt it was ok to do whatever it took to get me to file. If I had to do it over again I would have filed the day after she told me about the affair. Guys, if she says she's leaving, don't even bother saying goodbye, just ignore her because most likely she's already checked out.
@@officialmr.madness6655 That was my first wife and we got married back in the early 90s. It lasted 4 years. Through friends and her family, I go updates for years. He abused her in all ways including physically, often in front of others. He was someone who hit in other women, in front of her and whoever else he was dating. He even hit on her two younger sisters, even proposing threesomes. They eventually got married. He rarely worked and she had to support them. While they were married he saw other women and even got one pregnant. Once my ex got pregnant for the first time when she was about 40, he took off. When they met he was twice her age so by the time this happened he was in his 60s and died from a heart attack soon after the baby was born. When she figured out no one wanted a middleaged woman who weighted 250 lbs and had a 2 year old, guess who got a phone call.
@BloodyHeck...Your commentary reminds me of Jordan Peterson's speeches in which he addresses this issue of guys being a doormat. Your stand to be married once, for life, is highly commendable, though. Sounds as if you really did not know her, and she took advantage of your ignorance of her hidden ways. Tragedy strikes, and I feel it too. Please reply. It matters to responsible guys as an example. PS: I hope you are doing better, and on your way to healing that wound. Thanks from Darrell.
Even if you settle the dust in a woman's mind, the minute you bring your own feelings and logic into her situation, she won't care. You're telling us that if you have any goal in mind other than her emotions, you will fail. Therefore whatever process you use will fail. And whatever happens is all revolving around her emotions which essentially means your entire life is bound by the whims of an emotional child. You're an enabler
Ive listened to so many of your you tube tutorials. . . They are brilliant and i can see and understand everything as i am quite a stable emotionally mature and aware individual. . . . However its so hard with emotional attachment to stay true to the methods . .
Men should speak up when they sense the relationship is becoming distant. Dont let red flags pass by unspoken about. That is what i learned. Or you could get your energy drained. Also you should write your goals down on a piece of paper. That builds your faith. Faith builds indifference.
Completely agree! Honesty and transparency is important, especially when those first signs appear. It's always better to discuss them when they start happening , weather than letting that situation spiral and built.
I tried got told it was fine multiple times. Asked her to just talk to me and tell me what she wants and needs from me and nothing. Last night get told she wants a divorce I tried so fucking hard but got nothing then told everything I did wrong in a matter of 10 minutes followed by our marriage has ran its course. Tried to talk about Mayne a trial separation and was asked why just to delay the inevitable? So don't blame men for not trying because it's not always the case.
@@fightingmonk123 yea marriage is different and so fucking hard when you try and try and try again but you get stonewalled and then randomly divorced. Im sorry I don't mean to go off im just so fucking lost idk which ways up down left right idk it's still fresh and she's already printed the papers off.
@@fordshojoe8080 I have a secret one-year plan with my girlfriend. And it's very simple: after 1 year, I get a new one if I am not happy with her! In that way I am in control, not her.
I’m currently in the middle of a separation with my wife. There’s a lot of advice here that I feel is good because I’ve tried other ways to win her back and they definitely haven’t been working. I don’t even have another man to worry about trying to get her and I feel like there is a lot of good here. I hope I’m able to take what you’ve said and apply it the right ways.
I've been following your videos for about 6 weeks. For the first three I made changes. But actually I didn't. I have done the opposite of what you have said and I feel crazy . I have emailed for a call....
Hey i watched this twice, this is really good knowledge. I'm dealing with this kind of thing now but i found your video too late! I had to figure out all this over a weekend, almost lost my whole family lmao, thank God I'm a legend
All these videos are great but none of them say what to do when a small baby is involved. It is very hard when you want to take care of the baby resulting in you not being able to live an independent life without your spouse. How to handle the dynamic where the spouse won't let you do anything alone with the baby?
@@AlIsUpOutdoors I hear you. Do your best and let the universe take care of the rest. It might take time but it will happen. Put the energy back into you.
If a woman won't listen to logic and she can only think about whatever the fuck her emotions are, then she'll never ever ever be anyone worth fighting for. Because if she can't see logic, she can't look in the mirror. The key to her emotional issues is herself. And that's not your burden
Thank you for the video bro absolutely taken it all in bro im so never going back to who i uses to be the angry insecure person full of resentment's and anxiety is someone im never going to be again
I never did any wrong i left because i hate cheating an sneaking around like a child scared of my mom so i bossed up an explained to her i wanna cheat so before i do ima leave but i think i want her back we were born on the same day same year grew up same hood we are the same
I need to forgive myself and let go of all of the shame and guilt that I feel. If I don’t fix the turmoil within, I’m going to have either another stroke or a heart attack. If that happens, it’ll guarantee my children will grow up without a father. Just as I did.
You gotta be strong for your children. A mother simply can't fulfill the role of a father in children's' lives. They just can't. I know it is hard. I am going through the same thing and I completely feel you but let me tell you this: you are stronger than you think you are. "From the ashes of despair rises the phoenix of hope". Never forget that.
@@rsinghal17 I grew up without a father figure around and I know how that effected me. If I take the easy route and allow myself to become weak, my girls will do the exact same thing. The question I have is how do I harden and strengthen my heart, while simultaneously remaining tender, caring and calm? I currently don’t see a way without the use of anger.
@@AlIsUpOutdoors I hear you as I am going through this myself. If this is recent, yes, you would feel the anger constantly. After a while, you will feel the anger and anxiousness most of the time, then several times then sometimes then it would come in waves randomly and eventually it will go away. Your mind and body has its own mechanism to slowly deal with it and become normal again with time. I totally know how excruciatingly difficult it is to be tender while also feeling the anger. Here you have to use your sheer will-power until to get to the other stages of anger and anxiousness with time. When you feel angry, tell yourself "It is what it is, I will build myself again". Trying moving from tenderness towards indifference. It took a lot of effort for me to understand what it meant to "focus on yourself and let other things just happen". In the end, the universe will take care of everything.
@@marriagereset Hi Josh, this is really hard man. My wife wants to save the marriage but at the same time I see her coldness. She doesn’t have the passion or attraction for now but I’m determined to get that back. I wish I can just move out and give her the space but I cannot this. I don’t want to throw the towel and I understand I’ve been the good guy now all these years. I need to change that. I’m hopeful and praying on our knees with her everyday to save this marriage. This really hurts man! God Bless you for what you do. Thank you Josh
@joel garabal Of course brother Commend yourself for being aware of the faults. Also lean into gratitude that she wants to even work on it Many men WISH their wife was at that point. See her "coldness" aa simply pain and a way to protect herself from being hurt Your continued growth and compassion will lead an ability to melt that wall of ice
Forget her, just let her go her own way, as she will eventually leave you. Because the only reason you won her back is she didn't meet someone better. But in the back of her mind, that option is still open, no matter how much she may show you otherwise.
Josh is the Real Deal. Work with him whether you’re trying to win your wife back or not. Started with him this week. Amazing so far
My first wife started an affair with a "bad boy" only 9 months into the marriage. I tried to make it work for 3 years after that, not necessarily because I was deeply in love with her but because I stupidly believed the thought that you only get married once and you stayed married no matter what. She put me through hell for those three years because she wasn't going to file but she felt it was ok to do whatever it took to get me to file. If I had to do it over again I would have filed the day after she told me about the affair. Guys, if she says she's leaving, don't even bother saying goodbye, just ignore her because most likely she's already checked out.
update?
@@officialmr.madness6655 That was my first wife and we got married back in the early 90s. It lasted 4 years. Through friends and her family, I go updates for years. He abused her in all ways including physically, often in front of others. He was someone who hit in other women, in front of her and whoever else he was dating. He even hit on her two younger sisters, even proposing threesomes. They eventually got married. He rarely worked and she had to support them. While they were married he saw other women and even got one pregnant. Once my ex got pregnant for the first time when she was about 40, he took off. When they met he was twice her age so by the time this happened he was in his 60s and died from a heart attack soon after the baby was born. When she figured out no one wanted a middleaged woman who weighted 250 lbs and had a 2 year old, guess who got a phone call.
@BloodyHeck...Your commentary reminds me of Jordan Peterson's speeches in which he addresses this issue of guys being a doormat. Your stand to be married once, for life, is highly commendable, though. Sounds as if you really did not know her, and she took advantage of your ignorance of her hidden ways. Tragedy strikes, and I feel it too. Please reply. It matters to responsible guys as an example. PS: I hope you are doing better, and on your way to healing that wound. Thanks from Darrell.
Even if you settle the dust in a woman's mind, the minute you bring your own feelings and logic into her situation, she won't care.
You're telling us that if you have any goal in mind other than her emotions, you will fail. Therefore whatever process you use will fail. And whatever happens is all revolving around her emotions which essentially means your entire life is bound by the whims of an emotional child.
You're an enabler
Ive listened to so many of your you tube tutorials. . . They are brilliant and i can see and understand everything as i am quite a stable emotionally mature and aware individual. . . . However its so hard with emotional attachment to stay true to the methods . .
Men should speak up when they sense the relationship is becoming distant. Dont let red flags pass by unspoken about. That is what i learned. Or you could get your energy drained.
Also you should write your goals down on a piece of paper. That builds your faith. Faith builds indifference.
Completely agree! Honesty and transparency is important, especially when those first signs appear. It's always better to discuss them when they start happening , weather than letting that situation spiral and built.
I tried got told it was fine multiple times. Asked her to just talk to me and tell me what she wants and needs from me and nothing. Last night get told she wants a divorce I tried so fucking hard but got nothing then told everything I did wrong in a matter of 10 minutes followed by our marriage has ran its course. Tried to talk about Mayne a trial separation and was asked why just to delay the inevitable?
So don't blame men for not trying because it's not always the case.
@@fordshojoe8080 My advice was for single people. I don't know about married people's problems. I have never been married. That's a different trap.
@@fightingmonk123 yea marriage is different and so fucking hard when you try and try and try again but you get stonewalled and then randomly divorced. Im sorry I don't mean to go off im just so fucking lost idk which ways up down left right idk it's still fresh and she's already printed the papers off.
@@fordshojoe8080 I have a secret one-year plan with my girlfriend. And it's very simple: after 1 year, I get a new one if I am not happy with her! In that way I am in control, not her.
Yup,nailed it !! Anxiety is horrible….. my wife is so cold..
I’m currently in the middle of a separation with my wife. There’s a lot of advice here that I feel is good because I’ve tried other ways to win her back and they definitely haven’t been working. I don’t even have another man to worry about trying to get her and I feel like there is a lot of good here. I hope I’m able to take what you’ve said and apply it the right ways.
I'm glad the content resonated with you. I hope you manage to see positive shifts in your relationship!
Our only way is not not push and that's all I do because I love my wife but anxious hopeless as well
Thank you 👍
I've been following your videos for about 6 weeks.
For the first three I made changes. But actually I didn't.
I have done the opposite of what you have said and I feel crazy .
I have emailed for a call....
Lol.. if I'll be better off economically without her then I will choose that route
Hey i watched this twice, this is really good knowledge. I'm dealing with this kind of thing now but i found your video too late! I had to figure out all this over a weekend, almost lost my whole family lmao, thank God I'm a legend
Better late than never, man 😄 Thanks for watching!
I went to the website watched the video and filed out the form to set up a call but when I hit next to schedule, it brings me back to youtube
Waste of money
Schedule A FREE Call With The Marriage Mastery Team:
👉 www.joshhudsoncoaching.net/apply?sl=youtubemm73
All these videos are great but none of them say what to do when a small baby is involved. It is very hard when you want to take care of the baby resulting in you not being able to live an independent life without your spouse. How to handle the dynamic where the spouse won't let you do anything alone with the baby?
I feel you bro. We have two special children and here we are.
@@AlIsUpOutdoors I hear you. Do your best and let the universe take care of the rest. It might take time but it will happen. Put the energy back into you.
If a woman won't listen to logic and she can only think about whatever the fuck her emotions are, then she'll never ever ever be anyone worth fighting for. Because if she can't see logic, she can't look in the mirror. The key to her emotional issues is herself. And that's not your burden
This makes way too much sense, really explained well. Thank you for making these
When is the right time to thank her for leaving me so i can have the opportunity to fix myself or is that a bad thing?
Thank you for the video bro absolutely taken it all in bro im so never going back to who i uses to be the angry insecure person full of resentment's and anxiety is someone im never going to be again
Thanks man
They more videos I watch and apply them that more I think women's are complicated. They can be happy in the morning and mad 1 hours later
I never did any wrong i left because i hate cheating an sneaking around like a child scared of my mom so i bossed up an explained to her i wanna cheat so before i do ima leave but i think i want her back we were born on the same day same year grew up same hood we are the same
Yeah you doing good videos
It does the same for me as well
I need to forgive myself and let go of all of the shame and guilt that I feel. If I don’t fix the turmoil within, I’m going to have either another stroke or a heart attack. If that happens, it’ll guarantee my children will grow up without a father. Just as I did.
You gotta be strong for your children. A mother simply can't fulfill the role of a father in children's' lives. They just can't. I know it is hard. I am going through the same thing and I completely feel you but let me tell you this: you are stronger than you think you are. "From the ashes of despair rises the phoenix of hope". Never forget that.
@@rsinghal17 I grew up without a father figure around and I know how that effected me. If I take the easy route and allow myself to become weak, my girls will do the exact same thing. The question I have is how do I harden and strengthen my heart, while simultaneously remaining tender, caring and calm? I currently don’t see a way without the use of anger.
@@AlIsUpOutdoors I hear you as I am going through this myself. If this is recent, yes, you would feel the anger constantly. After a while, you will feel the anger and anxiousness most of the time, then several times then sometimes then it would come in waves randomly and eventually it will go away. Your mind and body has its own mechanism to slowly deal with it and become normal again with time. I totally know how excruciatingly difficult it is to be tender while also feeling the anger. Here you have to use your sheer will-power until to get to the other stages of anger and anxiousness with time. When you feel angry, tell yourself "It is what it is, I will build myself again". Trying moving from tenderness towards indifference. It took a lot of effort for me to understand what it meant to "focus on yourself and let other things just happen". In the end, the universe will take care of everything.
I can forgive I wont forget.
Bro this guy says it's your fault for the wife seeing another man
Thank you Josh! I’m getting there man. This is Great for me. 💪🏻
Cheers Joel
@@marriagereset Hi Josh, this is really hard man. My wife wants to save the marriage but at the same time I see her coldness. She doesn’t have the passion or attraction for now but I’m determined to get that back. I wish I can just move out and give her the space but I cannot this. I don’t want to throw the towel and I understand I’ve been the good guy now all these years. I need to change that. I’m hopeful and praying on our knees with her everyday to save this marriage. This really hurts man! God Bless you for what you do. Thank you Josh
@joel garabal Of course brother
Commend yourself for being aware of the faults. Also lean into gratitude that she wants to even work on it
Many men WISH their wife was at that point.
See her "coldness" aa simply pain and a way to protect herself from being hurt
Your continued growth and compassion will lead an ability to melt that wall of ice
@@marriagereset Thats Great to hear from you. God Bless!
@@marriagereset Thats Great to hear from you. God Bless!
I may never forgive my wife for a decade or longer of withholding.
So your wife will want to be with you if you ignore her and don't want her anymore?
How is that healthy at all? Its a hard concept to understand.
Forget her, just let her go her own way, as she will eventually leave you. Because the only reason you won her back is she didn't meet someone better. But in the back of her mind, that option is still open, no matter how much she may show you otherwise.
Selfishly you are right :)
Why is it men’s responsibility to focus on emotions? Why can’t they see logic?
👍🏼
Yes josh please help me get her back. She liviving with a lesbian and her convicted human trafficker
So in a nut she’ll be the person you were when you met her
YES SIR!
I find this guy irritating
He can be huh
Because he's full of shit and he blames YOU for your wife cheating and tells you to "win her back"