1. Interesting, I think that in the west wearing a black dress for a wedding would be considered rude, as if you were unhappy about their relationship 😅 We also don't wear white, but bright colors are allowed
I agree unless it's like a black-tie theme. Or if the dress is very obviously for celebrating and not the demure you would wear to a funeral. My mom wore black to my wedding and she thought I was crazy when I said people would think she disapproved. So maybe it's generational?
I mean if a few people were wearing black I think its okay but if I went to a wedding and didn't know this was a Korean cultural thing then I would think I was at a funeral if everyone was wearing black. Watching recently K Drama 'Marry my Husband' and the main actress turns up to her friends wedding wearing all white was a purposeful snub to her ex friend and the brides friends turned up in flashy nightclub type of clothing was also meant to belittle the bride.
I've never heard that, it's wearing white or beige is a no at weddings not wearing black. Black isn't seen as a color to wear at funerals anymore and black is flattering on people.
10.: in Germany when you eat with the family, it is important that you do not start eating first without saying anything, because everyone needs to start eating at the same time. So when everyone gathered at the table, including the person who gave out the food, then someone says „let‘s eat“ and then everyone can start eating.
In America we generally wait until everyone else is served to start eating if its a group of people or a family dinner. However most of the time if you are only hanging out its okay to eat even if others aren't
Looking at this from Western (especially American) and Eastern (specifically Korean) perspectives, respect seems to be about how direct or engaging we are. Names vs titles, eye contact vs diverted gazes, hugs vs distance. In the US, we want to connect with the person but in Korea, there should be a respectful distance. It's like the categories are the same but the specifics are opposite. An extremely spread-out posture like the guy in the video is considered arrogant but an open posture is expected when listening. If you aren't facing the person with your body or your arms are crossed, it's like you are blocking their communication with your body.
Eye contact, at least in America, is taught as respect and attentiveness. Looking away is perceived as not caring/disinterested. Looking away while being scolded can be seen as guilt, and what the person is saying isn't important. Eye contact engages the listener to the. speaker (and vice versa) because you are paying attention, establishing a connection, and showing respect. The same goes for eating; if someone is looking away, it comes off as if you are not worth their time and they are disinterested in you and the conversation.
Yes. It's like the scolder wants to make sure their words are received. If you're looking away, you might be zoning out (dissociating). This is especially difficult for people like those on the autism spectrum. John Elder Robison wrote a book about his life on the spectrum titled "Look Me in the Eye."
Agree, it's difficult for Western countries since we are taught since an early age to maintain eye contact, especially with elders. I respect Asian culture and behaviors, and this can be a little difficult for foreigners.
Reading the comments I remembered that when someone was scolded at school teachers or the headmaster would even say angrily, "Why are you lowering your eyes? Are you feeling guilty now?" Lowering your eyes would be seen as the person feeling guilty and not wanting to listen to the 'lecture', like attempting to ignore it.
When I was teaching in Korea I started writing the student's names in red marker on the whiteboard and they all shouted "TEACHER NO!!!!". I learnt the hard way haha
Maybe they believe that if you write their names in Red, they will get terrible things in their life, I mean, the fact Red is used for writing the name of dead people in Korea.
I grew up in France. When I was being scolded as a child, I couldn't maintain eye contact because it felt uncomfortable. But my parents forced me to do it and were even angrier when I couldn't look in their eyes. Since then, I kept eye contact even when I didn't want to.
Oh this is so sad! I hope you're doing better. It's hard for me to make eye contact too, although with no reason. It really shouldn't be such a big issue in our society
I'm American, and when I was a military cadet in university, we were REQUIRED to lock eyes with our drill sergeants when we were getting disciplined. For me, (and my buddies), eye contact whilst getting disciplined was 180 degrees the OPPOSITE to S. Korean culture. 😳 SIR, YES, SIR!
I'm Italian and autistic, and I was really brutalized about the whole eye contact thing. Honestly I'm really looking forward to living in a place where it's not required...
Last year on summer when I was at the wedding party with my husband (we live in Poland) I wear cornflower blue colour dress. But my dress was one of the darkest dresses at this party. There were many yellow dresses, pink, red, green, lilac ones, especially among young people. When coming to wedding party, we often dance that is why we choose colourful and let's say "happy colours". Black colour is associated with greeve, pain (people who lost their relatives wear it) and also with classic elegance but that does not exactly fit at wedding parties. That is why our black wedding party dresses are often sparkling or we add fashion accesories another colour to black dresscode. Personally, I do not think black colour is suitable for me, cosidering my skin tone. Wedding dress is wedding dress. We do not have dresscode for quests, but it depends on the people (bride and groom).
similar in my country. I was told that when someone (especially the mother of the groom or bride) wears black it means they do not approve the marriage, they are mourning. so wearing black is a big no-no
I liked the natural pace at which you were talking. I can tell I am picking up the language even better. I also liked hearing first, second, third, etc. I have been trying to understand how to say it. This is a great video to get one's ear acclimated to the language.
I was out to eat in America, with my Korean friend and a couple of her Korean friends. We had been chatting and getting along so well. Once the food came, everyone stopped talking. I was trying to keep the conversation going by asking questions. To me, it seemed like they got angry all the sudden. Or that they were mad at me or annoyed with me. It was so uncomfortable. I asked my friend later and she said “Oh, we just don’t really talk while we eat.” Is that just something Korean people do? Or is it rude to chat during a meal? It’s interesting because in America you are a good dinner guest by being warm, and being a good conversationalist. And telling stories or jokes, or asking people questions about their life. It was a very enlightening moment for me!
Hmm... isn't it better to follow the "rules" of the country you're in, as would be expected if they were in YOUR country (as long as it's Legal)? ...or, if not, explain why you're uncomfy with conversation during the meal. Isn't it rude to make a person uncomfortable in their home country?
No judgement at all from me!! It was just a big lightbulb moment for me, how much culture impacts us at an unconscious level. And how wrong it can be to make assumptions about people’s actions.
I’ve read and heard that Koreans talk throughout their meals, they eat to communicate with each other, business is discussed and a multitude of other subjects.
We talk while eating meals. Just we don't want to make chewing-sound or show all the food in our mouth. Maybe their mouths were full of food and they wanted to talk after chewing them and talk when their mouth is empty. I just remember that my mom always scolded me when I made some chewing sound while I was eating. You are eating like pigs. hahaha... I just realized that I am doing the same education to my daughter but still she is not educated either. ^^ Whenever I saw a lot of young Korean people making a big sound while they were eating in the TV shows...Sometimes I feel like they are making sound intentionally. I guess they just want to look themselves are casual or something... I don't know. But I just don't feel comfortable and worry that my daughter would do the same things in public. ㅠㅠ That's the evidence you are not properly educated in true Korean culture. Once I saw my daughter eat spaghetti without the spoon & fork and eating with chopsticks... I just scolded her as well. 80s, I have been taught that spaghetti is something with big spoons and forks. Not with chopsticks from my mom. When Korean culture is getting casual somewhat, but in terms of manner, sometimes, I feel like it is descending....
This was super interesting to learn about! I would love to learn more about Korean Culture from you guys. As for here in Europe, I think there are certain things that are also concidered impolite, but it's not necesarily looked down upon. Things such as pointing with your chin/nodding or throwing items to someone older (except maybe an older sibling or friend) is not something I would ever do, but I don't think you'd necesarily be concidered rude if you did. I think when you're being scolded and you look down, in a lot of contexts (such as school and at work) it would be concidered as you seeming weak, which can make people look down on you. I somewhat wish this wasn't the case because I'm very bad at maintaining eye contact when I'm being scolded haha (luckily it doesn't happen too often). There's no real "rules" for eye contact during drinking, but here in Belgium it's definitely concidered polite to look into someone's eyes as you "cheers" before you start drinking. Sitting etiquette depends on where you are. It's concidered rude to take up a lot of space (like "manspreading" or setting your bag next to you (although this one most of us do anyway to maintain our personal bubble haha)) when you're meant to share the seating with others like on public transport or during meetings at work, but when you're a guest on a show or in private settings, you can usually get comfortable. Wearing colour at wedding's is usually ok, wearing a white dress is not and I have heard stories of wearing a red dress implying that you oppose the marriage, but I'm not sure about those details, I think in general wearing bright red is concidered very attention-seeking over here as it's such a bright and noticible colour.
Thank you for the useful information! We are going to Korea in May and it will help a lot in not being rude to the Korean people. In Belgium we never wear white at weddings, same as in Korea, but flashy colours are allowed and appreciated. Greeting someone with your hands in your pockets is considered very rude! When you get scolded here, you should look at the person scolding you, they will even ask for it. It's like, look me in the eye and see that I mean it! Or see in my eyes that I'm honest. The same for drinking or hanging out with each other: you want to look people in the eye. Especially when you make a toast for good health or something like that, otherwise you don't mean it. What puzzles me the most is that I get the feeling that in Korea older people are always right when saying or doing something?! In Belgium it is allowed to disagree with an older person, in a respectful way and tone of voice. A discussion is not always seen as negative but as an opportunity to learn from each other. Older people can learn from younger ones and vice versa. Throwing things is always a little impolite and only acceptable between good friends or colleagues. When eating toghether with, friends or family or colleagues there is a rule that you wait until everyone at your table is served before you start eating. If the table is very big (like more then eight people) sometimes you wait untill the people close to you are served and then start eating. If you are the guest of someone, you wait until your host starts eating. These rules are independent of age. Hopefully you will come to Belgium one day and enjoy our ways of being like we will enjoy yours!
To making eye contact. When I was scolded by my mother (or teacher, whoever), the go to argument was "look at me, when I'm speaking with you!". So i think here we have to at least make eye contact to "listen" to being scolded. I'm from Czech republic, I don't know how it is in other countries haha
In France, there are several things that, like in your country, are considered impolite: for example keeping your hands in your pockets when greeting someone, throwing something at a person or adopting a position that is too casual (unless you are with friends or relative). As for table habits, here's how it works in my region: you always have to wait for everyone to be served (whether at a family meal, with friends or in a restaurant). Then you say "Bon appetit" ("맛있게 드세요") and everyone starts at the same time. (In the past, it was the hostess who gave the signal) I don't drink wine but if I want to drink water for example, I ask for the bottle to be passed to me and then I have to ask the people nearby of me who also wants to drink water. If someone hands their glass, I pour it first before helping myself.It's usually the same for people drinking wine... You must always look people in the face when they talk to you, otherwise they will think that you are not paying attention to what they are saying, that you don't care or even that you are going to lie. One of the things that is considered very rude here (and which you don't talk about in your video) is not holding the door for someone who is following you when you are leaving a store for example. We say “Shut the door in your face”. It's really rough... @MissGardenGG1
This is so interesting. Thank you for sharing. Here are just some points in the U.S. Everyone does dress up wanting to look their best for their family or friend's wedding. It is very much a huge celebration. We do shake hands here when you meet someone new, but I haven't seen people with a hand in their pocket while shaking hands (but I'm sure it does happen in a casual setting and not so much in a business setting). If you are getting scolded it is expected to keep your attention on the person which shows that you are paying attention. If you look the other way while being scolded, it can be seen as not paying attention and ignoring them. Throwing things to other people (even if they are older) depends on how close the relationship is, whether family or friend. Usually this happens when the other person asks you to throw it to them. Throwing something to someone, without them asking, can seem rude. As far as the drinking, there really are no rules. You don't have to look away or look them in the eyes and it is Ok to pour your own drink. When eating in a group (at a restaurant), we usually wait until most of the orders are in the table. But if the other's say that it's Ok to eat, you can begin eating. Age really doesn't matter. Of course, these are my experiences. It might be different in other regions of the U.S.
I love these podcasts! Can I just add, as an intermediate learner, I prefer the large text, voice only style, it's easier to focus (no distraction, great production) and the text is right at the centre and Yeji you have such a great calming voice for voice work! I really do love these vids though and wanted to say THANK YOU YEJI AND TTMIK TEAM.
I'm started today on the level 9 ttmik, and I understand all the speech in this video! Although some of them in context. Thank you so much for your work!
For number 10 in Italy when we gather together to eat, whether it's with family members, at a friend's house or with coworkers, we usually wait for everyone to sit at the table and then start eating after saying "Buon appetito!" which means "Bon appétit!"/"Enjoy your meal!". Sometimes, when we eat at our relatives' house, we also wait for the host (or whoever has prepared the meal) to sit at the table and then all together say "Buon appetito" and start eating.
@@coraliep5808 Das ist wirklich interessant! ^_^ In some more religious families people also pray before eating but that usually happens in a more close family situation, if they're all catholic obviously. In general we just say "Buon appetito", kind of like the equivalent of "잘 먹겠습니다!" ;) .
I think these are common courtesies that we have forgotten in the U.S. They are more subconscious now, but they do still exist. Our massive entertainment industry has cut holes in our society. We dress like we're in Las Vegas for weddings and we don't follow much else. Hands in pockets might still be a no-go. Some people still take their hats off indoors, but most people don't bother anymore.
It's true! If you're being scolded in America, if you look down or away, it seems like you're being evasive. This could mean you look like you feel guilty, like you have something to hide, or like you aren't being truthful. As for the rules about when to eat, it varies within America with different subcultures. But I think broadly: 1. If you're visiting someone's house or at home, you wait for whoever is the head of the household to begin eating. So, for example, even if my grandparents were visiting my family, we would wait for my dad to begin eating. This is pretty traditional and is less common these days, but I think still a fairly common rule of thumb. 2. At work, eating with bosses, it's generally once the highest ranked person starts eating like in Korea. 3. With friends or any other group setting, you wait for everyone to have their food before you start eating unless permission is given by those not eating. It's generally rude to eat in front of someone who doesn't have food yet.
mid-west USA here, I've never noticed people waiting for the oldest / highest ranking to eat first. At restaurants we seem to just start eating based on when each person's food is brought out. In a home setting, everyone begins eating basically at the same time - dishing out whatever food item is nearest to them first and then perhaps passing dishes around. With friends - I do see what you mentioned sometimes about waiting for everyone to receive their food before anyone eats, but also quite often everyone agrees to just eat as the food arrives instead of waiting.
In the US, it is considered rude to not look someone in the eyes when they are speaking. Otherwise, it seems like you’re not listening to what they are saying. Just like the saying,”look at me when I’m talking to you! 😡” lol If you are embarrassed, it’s common to look down. For dining….informal, as soon as every one sits down, time to pass the food and eat. Formal settings, like holidays, birthdays, restaurants, the meals starts per the host. In regards to serving someone, it’s polite to serve the host and the eldest first. 18:30 Anyway, just a note from my experience. I really enjoy these type of cultural videos! 감사합니다! 18:30
Yes that's true in the UK for example, if I looked away when I was being scolded they might think I'm not listening or ignoring them, so it could be seen as rude. It's interesting how it's different!
For a wedding it's ok to wear dresses in bright colours as long as it's not white (black might seem a bit funeral like) but you'd still try not to wear something that upstages the bride.
I haven't heard of the eye contact part while drinking but certainly turning away would be unusual here. I wouldn't throw anything to someone in the office but if it's very informal and the colleagues are close they might do.
I'm American, and when I was a military cadet in university, we were REQUIRED to lock eyes with our drill sergeants when we were getting disciplined. For me, (and my buddies), eye contact whilst getting disciplined was 180 degrees the OPPOSITE to S. Korean culture. 😳 SIR, YES, SIR! 🇺🇸🤝🇰🇷
As In Hong Kong, I found that there are a lot of similarities between our cultures, like the red pen rule, both hands rule, even waiting for the elders to eat first exist sometimes, but the drinking culture is still too much, I guess culture differences makes international communications interesting.
drinking culture is truly different. Here we look into the eyes while clinging the glasses. If you do not, it's impolite and you are supposed to buy the next round. But you can then drink for your own (you do not have to look while drinking) Also as for drinking with my father in law, who is Korean. He usually pours himself the drink, so I just reach my hands out, as if I were to support him. Hope this is correct. I've never asked :)
I am from German and English descent from Minnesota. We were taught to always wait and don't eat until the elder started, just like in Korea. Thank you, for your wonderful lesson ❤.
In my country , kids eat first . Its not a rule that people have to follow , usually people insist on the eldest to eat first (if they're elderly only) . But little kids tend to be impatient so the older people always say "let the kids eat first" . So usually the person who eats first is one of the younger ones who are really impatient🤷🏻♀️ . Its not like everyone waits for them to eat , more like , they eat before anyone could react lol
Over-formality is an obstacle to human communication. Basic politeness is essential, but respect has to be earned, not assumed. Elders aren't always worthy of respect. And you should challenge if you are being treated unfairly.
As an American, the basic table manners I was raised with were: elbows off the table and don't talk with food in your mouth. However, when I was in the army, it was generally considered a superiors' duty to ensure their juniors ate first and get their food last. Differences like this make things so interesting!
What always confuses me is when eating together, let's say someone working for TTMIK is older than Hyunwoo. Does Hyunwoo have to start eating first or would he wait for the older person to eat first? How do you determine whether to go with rank or age and does rank factor in cases like being at a meeting and at the table is a company president and someone else who is older than the company president but not that president's employee?
이런 경우 때문에 한국에선 나이가 많은 사람이 자신보다 나이가 적은 상사 밑에서 일하기를 꺼리고, 상사도 자신보다 나이가 많은 부하직원을 가지길 꺼립니다. 그래서 질문한 경우는 잘 발생하지 않습니다. 하지만 그런 일이 발생한 경우, 보통 회사 직급을 따릅니다. 하지만 나이가 어린 상사가 나이 많은 부하직원에게 하는 행동은 일반적인 상황과 다를 수 있을 거 같아요.
I grew up in the UK , Australia, and various parts of Asia, and I don't know if it's OK anywhere to shake hands with someone with one hand in your pocket. Maybe if your friendship group is extremely informal or you're kids, or you live in the arctic circle. But in a work or formal setting, or with strangers you want to leave a good impression on, it's disrespectful. Like Yeji says about Korea, you can't be bothered to take your hands out of your pockets? But I'm 36. Maybe I'm out of touch.
@@drizzbizz9063I grew up in Europe and agree with both of you. Maybe Americans are less strict about this as they tend to be rather lax, like wearing a suit with a baseball cap and sneakers...
@@chrismossy9774 No, this would be considered rude in America, as well. I can't imagine anyone shaking hands with one hand in their pocket. It would be considered dismissive and rather arrogant where I was raised. I also, don't know anyone who would wear a suit with a baseball cap, but I'm sure there is someone out here who has tried it.
Thank you for this helpful video! Actually I am a little confused right now. I am going to a Korean wedding of my boyfriends friend soon, but he told me not to wear black because you would think of a funeral then, better would be navy like colors. I chose a toned down green now because I don‘t like navy but… what is it about the black?
In my country black is kind of the color of death. At funerals everyone needs to wear black. So black dresses express feeling of loss, sadness. If you wear black at a wedding they would think you're not happy for the couple, maybe your an ex or just wanted to marry either of them. Of course it's not that harsh nowadays, but as a tradtion most people try to follow the rules. (Edit: I'm European. So I don't know othet country's reasons. But maybe similar.)
@@hu_ngtan where exactly do you come from? Because I am German and you would probably also chose a brighter color for a wedding but at the same time it would be no Desaster to wear black
@@hu_ngtan yeah that’s true too haha. I mean, where I’m from (USA) it’s not that big of a deal but it IS kinda a tad of an odd color. Unless that’s what the theme is. Cuz y cousin had a themed wedding where she wanted her guests to wear black, dark purple or dark green. So it was kinda funny to be going opposite of what I’d normally wear to a wedding. I’m sure if ppl saw us from afar, they would think we were attending a funeral 😂 until they saw the bride who was wearing a big white dress.
@@coraliep5808 From Hungary. The interesting thing is that we have so much tradition from German origin. We're kind of a cultural mix. But this is a little different. I wouldn't say disaster but the couple definitely wouldn't be happy and all the guest would talk/gossip about why you're wearing black. (Of course there's always exemptions and there's bride/groom who wouldn't care, but generally it's the other.)
Ah and about the drinking: in Germany when you cheer it is important to look each other in the eyes, because if you do not, there is a saying that you are going to have bad sex for the next couple of years 😂😂 but while drinking it doesn‘t matter.
I've been living in Canada since 1998. I'm from Mexico and before I moved to this great country I worked as a nurse; the morning shift will write everything in blue, including our names and the patient's too. The afternoon shift will write everything in green and the night shift will use red, it was mandatory for almost all hospitals in Mexico, I don't know if they still doing so, but when I worked night shift I used only red for everybody. I wonder which colours use in Korea. I loved your video. Greetings from Toronto.
i like to be casual and friendly with every person i encounter, to me formality feels kind of rude and offensive and unnecessary. i dont know that this is common in the uk but if im sharing a meal with someone i like to wait until everyone is seated/ready to eat before eating my food, but sometimes people will say you don't need to wait for me or ask if they can eat first if im not ready yet etc
Hi! Nice video, very interesting! 😊 In France we have some similar behaviours, regarding eating with a group of people. Before starting to eat, we should wait until everyone's plate has been served, and then usually we would say "bon appétit !" (=Enjoy your meal) before anyone start eating. No matter age you are. It's considered a bit rude to start before the others. Of course when you're eating with 1-2 closed friends, and it's more casual, you could start before them, but at least make sure their meal have been served as well before starting. For the drinking habits, we usually look people in the eyes only while saying "cheers" and shocking the glass. 🥂 If you don't look at them at that moment, some people would even tell you, to do it again in the proper way. 😂 I think it's because "cheers" in french is "santé" which literally means "health". So if you don't look the other person in the eyes while saying it, it's like you don't really wish him/her a good health. It's a kind of superstition as well.
I am curious, I started talking to someone from Korea but whenever I asked about what he did for fun or as a hobby he ignored the question. I asked again and he would answer other things but not that one. I mentioned it was rude to ignore someone for 6 days. He also wouldn't ask me any questions, only answer mine. Is it rude to ask questions of the person you are speaking to? Is it offensive to ask someone about their hobbies or how they spend their free time? Any insight would be much appreciated so I don't disrespect another Korean in my future interactions. Thank you.
In Ireland it is often considered sacrilege to drink a pint of Guinness (or any porter ) before it has settled. People will swear at you in some places. And in both the UK and Ireland when drinking we often do "rounds" where one person pays for all the drinks, then the next person does and so on. If you don't pay for your round or at least pay for a big round the next time you drink it's considered rude. So you have to time when to drop out of the round or pick your round partners wisely. There is whole etiquette with it too. When there are 10 of you and no-one thinks it through it can get very messy. "Your round, mate" is said to men and women alike.
This is great information, thank you! My husband and I are heading to Korea for a month in March. We have been before, but never with this much information.
In Germany we don't wait for the eldest to eat but are considered to wait until everyone is ready. Speaking of..unlike in Korea it's considered impolite to order food in germany if someone is late to the party. We mostly wear dark colours on funerals. For the wedding ceremony. i'm a little bit surprised to learn that you should wear dark colours to not steal the show of the bright. Altough its etiquete not to shop up in a huge voluminous dress, you can wear bright colours ( if not told otherwise). i don't have a single black clothes in my closet so no korean weddings for me, i guess. :D
There are many new situations that are rude. What happens if a Korean person is rude? I’m American and people do things around me that I think are rude, like throwing things to me. I don’t know what to say. It just bothers me. Do Koreans have a way to reject an interaction or correct someone?
They don't really. You might get a speculative look. Korean people tend to avoid conflict and they know that western people don't always know their cultural rules, so they might just overlook it if it's a once of or not incredibly rude. They also might avoid the same situation next time, like not wanting to see you again. Just like any other country, if you go to Korea you will need to follow these rules - they are important, just like Korean people would need to follow your society rules in your country. I'd say that American culture kind of has a more 'liberal' view to what extremes everyone can annoy everyone else compared to most countries. In Australia, for example, we will just find a way to inform someone flat that they're rude - usually making fun of them with our special brand of humour. We generally expect people to consider other people with their actions.
Thank you for this video, that was really interesting and useful. ❤ I am from central Europe and as you said we had 99.9% opposite rules here, I call it 'no rules' 😅. However, I was used to wait to eldest to eat when family met for the Christmas (grandpa's rules) as a kid and I still do that even when my family don't want that anymore. About alcohol, I am not use to drink often, but my friend wanted me to have a drink at my birthday party last year and she was pretty angry because I wasn't able to share an eye contact as I started to drink with my korean friends who was older and I learnt korean rules first. 😂🎉 I am always confused about an eye contact here, because even when I was learnt to look in the eyes anytime, I don't like it and try to avoid it until I am not mad, that is the only moment when I use deadly eye contact for sure. So I think it may be unberable to work for a company and be scoled. 😅 Yay!
Great video! Question: A lot of rules seem to relate to people who are clearly of different ages or ranks, like young people and older people. What happens when people who are all, let's say, in their 60s or older meet up? Is there still ranking going on -- like, who's older? who has the higher status? who eats first? who pours the other's drink? etc. Or are all bets off once you reach halmoni/haraboji age?
From what I gathered, they then move on to birth month if everyone is the same age OR the person who has the latest achievement is given the honor to go first
One of the challenges that Korean people often have when coming to Australia, is that even though we definitely have "polite" and "casual" behaviours, we are very relaxed about them, and so it is not uncommon for me to address my boss in a very casual way. Because of how little we think about politeness, often it can be difficult for people to see examples of those polite behaviours in everyday life. So if you meet an Australian and they seem disrespectful, it is probably that they have just forgotten to be polite. Not just that, but being "too polite" can make you seem self-important and less honest to an Australian, which may actually make Australians act more rudely back. The reason is that "formal/polite behaviours" are seen as being for more refined/higher-class people, so if someone they don't know is being very polite, some Australians think "this person thinks they are more high-class than me" and so some people react to this by being sharp or dismissive. Because of this misunderstanding, it can be very surprising as someone being rude or dismissive and seeming insulted will usually make people from "politeness cultures" try to be MORE polite, which makes the situation worse. So in Australia, sometimes if someone you don't know starts to act unhelpful or offended when you are speaking very respectfully, it might be that you are being TOO polite. That said, if someone is making you uncomfortable, it is always OK to for you to say so. "I'm sorry, I feel uncomfortable being so familiar with someone I've just met" very quickly explains why you are acting so formally, and Australians will generally accept that.
It’s true, in Australia we hate anyone assuming they are superior to us. I actually get angry watching KDramas when the boss or the father is being unfair and everyone just bows and apologizes. And yet, despite the politeness, it seems like using violence is far more acceptable in Korea. I’m not sure if this is just on TV or if it’s real, but people are always slapping someone, and it seems fine for a man to hit a woman. That is totally unacceptable here.
eye contact is viewed as a sign of acknowledgement in many circumstances in western culture, even while being scolded. as some have mentioned here admission of guilt may be interpreted when avoiding eye contact. i can definitely see avoiding eye contact in asian cultures as a sign of deference and respect since age/title are important in many ways there. this was an excellent video explaining rationale for the perception of rude behavior in korean culture and how some behaviors share similar viewpoints in chinese and japanses cultures as well.
A few decades ago when Kekkonen was still the president of Finland, he greeted the representatives of the Soviet Union with one hand in his pocket. We assume that it was intentional, a sign for Finnish people about his true feelings towards the Soviet Union.
As a native speaker of Swedish, I find it weird that Finnish people study Swedish even now since the days of the Swedish dominance are long gone. Have you seen the film "The tough one's"? The Swedish title was "Finnjävlar"😅
@@chrismossy9774, Finland has many Swedish speakers in the population and the language has official status, so it is inevitable that Finns study Swedish. I have not seen the mentioned film, but the concept of "finnjävel" is familiar to me.
@@juha-petrityrkko3771 I know that Swedish used to be the linked to the "educated" in Finland and until 1814 Finland was part of Sweden so then it made sense to learn Swedish. But nowadays everyone speak English so Swedish seems unnecessary to learn. I think it's amazing that the Finnish language is so different from Swedish and Russian even though Finland is between Sweden and Denmark. I heard Finnish is related to Hungarian and also to Korean as an Altaic language. That film kind of shows a lot of Finnish stereotypes and is quite ironic, kind of. Finland has a sad and dramatic history a bit similar to Korea with civil war and in between two larger countries. The small country of Korea also struggled to survive as a nation as you know.
@@chrismossy9774, Finnish language differs from its neighbours, because it exists in a local pocket, together with Estonian and Samic. There are other such pockets near the Ural mountains where people speak Komi, Mari, Vepsä, and other languages distantly related with Finnish. And on a larger scale there may indeed be the Altaic connection you mentioned. Swedish is not going to disappear from Finland any time soon, as its position is protected by law, and public services are expected to be bilingual, at least in the coast regions where the percentage of Swedish speakers is higher. I personally like foreign languages and have nothing against studying Swedish, even though I know that there are some other Finns who rather find it a nuisance.
Would gladly appreciate it if you could provide soft subtitles through youtube's subtitle feature as well. That way it's easier to look up words and use sentence mining software. It's also more accessible as people with bad vision can customize the size and style of the text.
Hey! TTMIK and you make a video about korean handwriting pretty plz. Cuz I'm really interested to know what a natural korean handwriting looks like and some tips to improve it 💖😅
It's interesting, some of these, such as pointing with your chin, shaking hands or greeting with hands in the pockets, and throwing things to people, feel rude to me personally, but they are not inforced social rules in my country (Australia). I'm not sure if i would even specifically think "that's rude" if they happened, but I would just get this feeling that the other person is not being respectful, and i imagine other people would feel the same. We just don't really have widespread social expectations and superstitions in this way, and everyone varies so widely across the country. However, as some other people have said, we also don't wear white to someone elses wedding, but colours are usually fine, just not something outrageously fancy or attention seeking. And it's considered far more respectful to maintain eye contact when scolded, and in social situations in general. So fascinating! ❤️
Looking down when being scolded totally makes sense. I already avoid eye contact, even though (at least in America) it's frowned upon. I do this because it is easier for me to focus on what they are saying. Looking back on one particular scolding, the person scolding me kept chasing where my eyes were looking. I would look to one side and then the other, they would walk over to where I was looking. Even though I'm in a society that favors eye contact... I have to avoid it for scolding... that is just how I am wired. Looking down with hands down will help me... thanks.
In Britain it is also poor form to wear white to a wedding, as you say, white is reserved for a bride. However, black or very sombre colours are also best avoided - black is for funerals. Men can wear dark suits, but grey or navy preferably, not black. There is no reason for guests to avoid other bright colours. If being scolded, you would be expected to look directly at the speaker. The British share the same view of - pointing with your eyes/chin, shaking hands with anyone with the other hand in your pocket and throwing (unless asked to do so). It is disrespectful. In Britain, in fact in most of Europe - especially Scandinavia - you are expected to look the person with whom you are drinking in the eye. In Scandinavia etiquette requires eye contact with every one in the drinking circle before drinking. At a polite meal table, no one starts to eat until the hostess (usually - the host if no woman) has invited them to eat by lifting their own cutlery. Neither age nor social status matters. We don't have ancestral rites, but sticking a spoon upright in a bowl of food would simply look odd/awkward.... not rude per se. Teachers use red ink when marking students work, there is no superstition about it, but if you use red ink to write expect to be teased for being "teacher".
It’s interesting because we don’t really have many rules about when someone’s older than you in Sweden, but I wouldn’t lean on a leg or throw something to my grandma if I hadn’t asked first. Eye contact is also interesting topic, because like in other western countries it is polite to look others in the eyes (especially when you talk to them). About weddings I think you can choose clothes you like but it’s common to wear a tide or shirt. Kamsamida for the video.
For eating together at dinner time, USA- Usually we just wait until everyone has been served. We don't have a particular order. However, at a large holiday gathering we will serve the children first so the adults can eat peacefully.
I never started eating before my grandparents or even my parents. Until today I´ll wait eating before my wife starts to eat. Thank you for the lesson and advice.
I knew about the shaking hands, although I think when giving and receiving things, it’s okay to simply use one hand to support the other arm, right? At least, I think I’ve seen people do that both in dramas/videos and in real life. With the eye contact while being scolded, I certainly prefer not looking the other person in the eye at those times! Growing up, when my parents used to scold us, my sister and I would both be looking down and nod our heads or verbally indicate every now and then that we were listening. The only problem was, I learned to keep myself occupied during those times by thinking of other things, only tuning back in every once in a while to give the required indication of attention… 😅 I actually pay attention as an adult, though. I didn’t know the thing about eating! And a friend of mine just asked me the other day… we’ve been visiting Korean churches in the area and she asked me at lunch if we needed to wait to eat. I told her that we could start eating, and now I realize I didn’t observe everyone else carefully enough to see what they were doing… 😅 Even in America, in some places they prefer to wait until everyone at the table is seated with their food before beginning. I don’t think anyone took offense, though, so it must’ve been okay. I rarely throw objects to people, in general, unless they say it’s okay. Even then I try not to, but that’s more because I’m worried I might accidentally hit them with my poor aim… 😅
I think this customary tradition to not lean on one leg is changing. Watch the recent Universe Ticket survival show for Kpop idols where Ghelee Dangca was allowed to do it because as a former fashion model, she was used to standing with her legs or knees slightly bent and leaning a little bit forward like a fashion model. In fact, all the contestants were asked to do so with their legs leaning with a slightly bent knee.🎉
I love number 5 (not making eye contact while being scolded), especially when you’re being wrongfully accused. Unfortunately, my mom will scold me for not looking and demand that i look into her eye “because it’s rude”
I have a question about drinking etiquette... Do those rules apply only when drinking alcohol? Or is it the same when I am drinking other drinks like coffee or juice?
Underlying much of the differences is high regard afforded to older people in Asia. Even among children deference to older ones is very weak in West but much much stronger in Asian countries.
the 1 thing i find the most difficult is the one about eye contact. where i'm from whenever someone is talking to you or scolding you you should be giving eye contact. in my country it shows you are paying attention and listening to the person who is speaking. its so interesting how it can be considered so differently in another country
In terms of drinking, in UK at least, eye contact at the clinking of glasses or saying "cheers", rather than every time you take a drink, is considered polite, but above all a sign of sincerity. Re scolding, especially but not only in a school environment, the person being scolded will almost certainly be told to "look at me when I'm talking to you" if he/she is looking away at that moment, as it would be seen as disrespectful to the teacher/senior delivering the scolding.
Everything that is rude in Korea is opposite in US 😦. The only thing that is the same is throwing something to someone and depending on the area you live, starting to eat before everyone else can also be rude.
In Indonesia, we give and receive with our right hand. Otherwise, it'd be considered impolite. In cases where the right hand isn't available (eg: carrying a lot of things and can't easily switch hands) then usually we say, sorry we use our left hand.
Thank you for your interesting information it does help. However, I would just likt to correct you with the drinking rule in Austria and most countries in Europe . We just look at each other when we say 'cheers'. We do not look while drinking.
The pointing with your chin one is interesting. The Navajo in the southwest of the USA pointing this way all the time since it is considered rude to point with your finger.
Here in America, it is seen as very disrespectful (in most places) if you don't make eye contact while being scolded. It makes others feel like you are not listening. That is interesting to hear that in Korea it's the exact opposite. As for the crossing your legs part, to sit like the photo is seen as impolite here too. It is seen as a lack of respect or care. Sometimes, it can even be seen as you feeling like you're above the other person.
I'm from Southern America, and we just need to make sure everyone has their food before we start eating. If you're eating with religious people (I can only speak for Christian sects), they often need to say grace first, and it's considered polite to wait until they're finished before you eat, even if you don't follow the same religion. At weddings, you just can't wear white. It's looked at as incredibly distasteful, like you want to steal attention or want to be the one getting married. Not even the mothers of the bride or groom should wear white because it comes off as having a weird controlling or inappropriate relationship with their kid. There are many stories of bridal party members "accidentally" spilling wine on a guest's white dress to make them change outfits, or leave altogether. Some other areas/communities in America have additional social rules for weddings, though. For example, in some areas you shouldn't wear red, because it means you've either been with or are in love with the groom. The eye contact while being scolded is different for everyone in America, I think. I personally view avoiding eye contact during scolding or an argument as rude, and I was raised to think that way. Eye contact (for people like me, at least) shows that you're engaged and actively listening to the person talking to you. I can see why some people wouldn't agree, though, and may think it comes off as being defiant.
안녕하십니까 선생님 저는 우즈베키스탄 사람입니다, 그런데 선생님 설명하신 중에 우리 나라도 또 같이 있는 문화 예의가 있습니다, 10 번 교직입니다. 우리 나라도 가정들과 함께 식사를 할 때 항상 어린이 시작하고 나서 , 그 다음 다른 사람들이 시작할 수 있는, 기다리는 순간이 있습니다. 선생님은 우리한테 준비했던 비디오로 많은 것을 배웠습니다. 감사하겠습니다.
This is really interesting like l can relate to some of the things here There is a thing here in South Africa well l don't know about other people but my mom used to tell me to not point at other people's houses with my fingers because my finger will bend or something like that and also we have some superstitions like don't cut your hair or nails at night
Wooow Then my country is lucky to not have many rules, although respect is still there. Once you come to Kenya🇰🇪🇰🇪, you're friends with everyone, there's no high rank or small rank in terms of eating or drinking, although in terms of speaking, there is respect, also in greetings there is respect, but bowing is not one of them, only greeting with both hands and speaking formally. About food, all are welcome and can start eating whenever you are ready, once gathered, we keep official ranks away and act like family and friends. Also about posture, for us as long as you've not worn any sexy or seductive clothes, you are free to sit or stand however you want, so long as the clothes are not so much exposing. Also sometimes it's the elders who give you permission to be comfortable and feel free however you want, only respectable words/speech/ way of speaking matters to them. About being scolded, the only way we will know you are telling the truth is if you look at me straight to the eye while explaining yourself or even when being scolded, looking away shows you are not confident, so you're guilty😅 But if you look straight in the eye and stand by your answer, that shows you mean what you are saying . So, here it's easier to know who is lying or who is not saying the truth. Though sometimes people pretend, obviously. When foreigners come to Kenya, they adapt very quickly and feel relaxed, compared to when Kenyans visit Korea, since they have to learn about what to do and what not to do before travelling there😊😊 All in all its so good that we get to learn different cultures and rules of different countries, that's the fun fact about visiting different countries and making new friends. Adaptation.
I read something years ago and only remember 2 things, the number of times you have to refuse a gift before accepting it and something about left and right being confusing. They told about a family drive where the driver was confused by the directions of an immediate family member. Did I dream that part or is there something about left and right?
@@cynthiapowers8139 I have no idea about the left and right thing, but just like in English, the word "right" could mean both the "right direction" and also "right" as in affirmative or good. So maybe that's where the confusion came in?
From France: 1. It is also considered disrespectful to wear white at a wedding because ot looks like you're trying to steal attention from the bride, but it is (or used to) also considered rude to wear black for ladies, because it is the colour of funerals. Unless it's a nice fancy cocktail dress. But flashy colours are ok, I've never heard of avoiding bright colours at weddingd, it's all about happiness and festive. 5. It is the opposite here, I think, but it's not an "official" rule, it's just cultural mentality... If you look down when someone is scolding you, it can be percieved as you are avoiding the responsibility of your actions, or not paying attention to the person talking. Making eye contact means that you are attentive and openly listening to what they have to say, or a brave person who is not a coward and can face the reality of their behaviour. 9. There's nothing about making or avoiding eye contact when we drink, but there's a superstition/politeness rule about making eye contact when you cheer with someone before drinking, regardless of the age. 10. There is no set rule as to who eays first, but it is rude to start eating before everybody around the table has been served (different way of serving, we don't have all dishes on the table ans everybody picks in them, there is one or two people, usually the host, serving everybody from the main dishes.) It is also considered rude to start eating before saying "Bon appétit" (the equivalent of "thank you for this meal) to everybody.
The idea of ‘rules’ is interesting to me and a little odd from and Australian perspective. I think because we’re so multicultural we’ve come to accept that we can’t all be on the same page when it comes to social ‘rules’ and etiquette. We wouldn’t just throw things at someone if they didn’t ask us to. Pointing with your chin is something we would only do if our hands were full… But though we wouldn’t ordinarily do it, it’s not a rule and you wouldn’t offended or upset if someone did. Certain things like taking up too much space when you’re seated in a public place is considered more uncouth than rude. We don’t wear white at weddings for the same reason as you have said. But we don’t usually wear black as black is the colour of mourning and funerals. Wearing black at a wedding may signify that you consider the marriage to be a bad thing. Looking down when being scolded…it’s interesting because here it could be considered a sign of weakness. Even if you’re being scolded you should maintain some self-dignity, as well as pay attention to the one scolding you. So eye contact is more common. However like I said we have lots of cultures so we all tend to be relaxed about that ‘rule too. And no one even thinks about who should eat first. At a restaurant we would wait for everyone to be served if it’s individual meals before we begin eating. However we are big on not taking the final item of food. Eg. if we’re sharing a plate of dumplings, there will always be one left over because no one wants to be the rude person who takes the last one. And there are no rules at all when it comes to drinking alcohol. It’s super interesting to me because I come from a place where there is almost no social hierarchy. We never think about age or status. And even though there is hierarchy in professional settings it’s so subtle as to be almost invisible to outsiders. Thank you! This was very interesting and I enjoyed it. What I always want to know though is the origin of a tradition or custom. I love to know why we do the things we do.
It sounds like the strict version of Polish (Central Europe) etiquette, minus two hands and turning a head while drinking. The head-turn is like avoiding responsibility for consumed alcohol, although if one thinks about respected people not willing others to see they drink, it is understandable. We use these habits for increased politeness situations, like meeting parents of the spouse for the first time, or a high-ranked and distant boss. Apart from that, the percentage of politeness depends on the energy of the person. But the no-nos are hands in pockets, head pointing, finger pointing, weird open legs while seating and the lousy posture. The sight we call "challenging", but if it is not challenging but modest, just for the pure info it is good to look at the scouting peron, if it is not too serious. If the case is intense, mostly children are "hanging the head" and "lowering the sight". If you look away though, not down, it's rude.
In Malaysia, there's a new trend where the family members of the bride/groom are all wearing whites hahaha. But it's just a small group of people who continue to do this trend. And we have no color restriction to come to a wedding. Some may wear a very bright color and been praised on it. But good to know that Korea is different. Thank you for always sharing the inside story :)
Even after all these years, the no eye contact one still doesn’t make sense to me. 🤨 We (as humans) naturally turn toward whatever we are paying attention to or away from whatever we are ignoring. In other words, less eye contact means less attention. Which means the person being scolded is less likely to listen. Less likely to listen increases the chance that the same mistake can happen again. Isn’t the point of scolding to prevent the same mistake from happening again. Otherwise why bother?
In South Africa there are various cultures.....generally there is great respect for the elderly.....the young people even use honorifics for seniors......the granny and mother of the family is very respected.....I find in the English and American culture generally they are more casual.....when having dinner the hostess puts the dishes on the table and the elders help themselves first the mother usually plates the childrens food....wine is poured by the host....left on the table and the host will keep an eye on the guests glasses and offer some more to drink....it is considered impolite to take large helpings for yourself. When invited for a meal everybody contributes to the bill unless the host says its his or her treat.....greeting with hands in the pocket is considered rude toward older persons....we generally hug...if we dont know we smile and sometimes shake hands.....I like the bowing culture.....sitting with your legs crossed in company isnt considered rude...but for a formal interview you must sit upright, legs neatly together, hands in lap....when scolded...it is polite to bow your head respectfully and listen....that is not often shown....its a dying trend generally speaking....I am 66 years old and love the respectful culture of Korea. Caring, consideration, kindness and manners is fast disappearing from our society in general.....thank you for your video🌻
In Germany, it is also considered impolite to greet someone with your hands in your pockets. As for no 3: From my understanding, it is not only considered rude to place your chopsticks vertically in someone else's rice bowl, but also in your own. And aren't the names of deceased people ACTUALLY written in red? That would be another reason to avoid doing that for living people.
I feel like my original culture does some of these things, like order of eating and throwing things and maybe crossing legs, but they're not nearly as emphasized as in Korea. And my culture now is very casual so there's almost nothing similar! I was born in South Africa in a sort of British-derived culture, and now I live in Canada. Edit: wearing white at a wedding is also considered a huge insult, according to everyone I've ever spoken with except West Africans
I want to say that looking down when somebody is scolding you is not a sign of politeness in other countries like America. When I see people being yelled at or scolded they are usually looking right their adversary. Even if it's a parent. Being verbally assaulted by a parent, spouse ir boss is considered abusive speech. I would walk away and say I will talk with you when you calm down and get control of yourself.
A very specifically German thing is that you look someone straight in the eye when you clink glasses before drinking. It doesn't matter where you look as you drink, though. You can actually recognize Germans abroad that way ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
![10 things you're WRONG about Korea [KOR/ENG sub]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/VYr50Z4aL-Q/mqdefault.jpg)
![10 things you're WRONG about Korea [KOR/ENG sub]](/img/tr.png)
![[Vlog Korean] Ordering Street Food in Korea (Hongdae)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/5JFczNjiaks/mqdefault.jpg)
![[Korean Listening] Why it's hard to make friends in Korea 😭](/img/n.gif)
0:00-0:59 Introduction
1:00-2:46 At a wedding
2:47-4:23 When shaking hands
4:24-7:03 Superstitions
7:04-8:55 Pointing directions with your eyes or chin
8:56-10:31 Making eye contact
10:32-11:31 Using one hand
11:32-13:29 Crossing your leg
13:30-15:02 Throwing an object to give it to someone else
15:03-16:48 Basic drinking etiquettes
16:49-18:55 Who's going to eat first?
18:56-19:38 Conclusion
1. Interesting, I think that in the west wearing a black dress for a wedding would be considered rude, as if you were unhappy about their relationship 😅
We also don't wear white, but bright colors are allowed
Yes, black dress in a weding is not ok. You are celebrating, black is for funerals.
Also white is for the bride only.
I agree unless it's like a black-tie theme. Or if the dress is very obviously for celebrating and not the demure you would wear to a funeral. My mom wore black to my wedding and she thought I was crazy when I said people would think she disapproved. So maybe it's generational?
@@nannybannany Yes, probably geracional (I'm 50 years old). Nevetheless, I suppose, even a black dress can be festive enough.
I mean if a few people were wearing black I think its okay but if I went to a wedding and didn't know this was a Korean cultural thing then I would think I was at a funeral if everyone was wearing black. Watching recently K Drama 'Marry my Husband' and the main actress turns up to her friends wedding wearing all white was a purposeful snub to her ex friend and the brides friends turned up in flashy nightclub type of clothing was also meant to belittle the bride.
I've never heard that, it's wearing white or beige is a no at weddings not wearing black. Black isn't seen as a color to wear at funerals anymore and black is flattering on people.
10.: in Germany when you eat with the family, it is important that you do not start eating first without saying anything, because everyone needs to start eating at the same time. So when everyone gathered at the table, including the person who gave out the food, then someone says „let‘s eat“ and then everyone can start eating.
I like that.
Manners maketh man
That used to follow someone saying grace, as in a prayer of thanks for the food.
Yes something very similar in New Zealand also. Not waiting for the oldest to eat first more eating at the same time, depends on the situation though.
In America we generally wait until everyone else is served to start eating if its a group of people or a family dinner. However most of the time if you are only hanging out its okay to eat even if others aren't
Looking at this from Western (especially American) and Eastern (specifically Korean) perspectives, respect seems to be about how direct or engaging we are. Names vs titles, eye contact vs diverted gazes, hugs vs distance. In the US, we want to connect with the person but in Korea, there should be a respectful distance. It's like the categories are the same but the specifics are opposite. An extremely spread-out posture like the guy in the video is considered arrogant but an open posture is expected when listening. If you aren't facing the person with your body or your arms are crossed, it's like you are blocking their communication with your body.
Eye contact, at least in America, is taught as respect and attentiveness. Looking away is perceived as not caring/disinterested. Looking away while being scolded can be seen as guilt, and what the person is saying isn't important. Eye contact engages the listener to the. speaker (and vice versa) because you are paying attention, establishing a connection, and showing respect. The same goes for eating; if someone is looking away, it comes off as if you are not worth their time and they are disinterested in you and the conversation.
Same in France.
In Dominican Republic its the same as the USA
Yes. It's like the scolder wants to make sure their words are received. If you're looking away, you might be zoning out (dissociating). This is especially difficult for people like those on the autism spectrum. John Elder Robison wrote a book about his life on the spectrum titled "Look Me in the Eye."
Same here, made eye contact with a Korean elder scolding me and she thought I was disagreeing with her 😔
Agree, it's difficult for Western countries since we are taught since an early age to maintain eye contact, especially with elders. I respect Asian culture and behaviors, and this can be a little difficult for foreigners.
Reading the comments I remembered that when someone was scolded at school teachers or the headmaster would even say angrily, "Why are you lowering your eyes? Are you feeling guilty now?" Lowering your eyes would be seen as the person feeling guilty and not wanting to listen to the 'lecture', like attempting to ignore it.
When I was teaching in Korea I started writing the student's names in red marker on the whiteboard and they all shouted "TEACHER NO!!!!". I learnt the hard way haha
哈哈 its funny
Lolllll
Maybe they believe that if you write their names in Red, they will die. Red is for dead persons in Korea.
Maybe they believe that if you write their names in Red, they will get terrible things in their life, I mean, the fact Red is used for writing the name of dead people in Korea.
why what happened
I grew up in France. When I was being scolded as a child, I couldn't maintain eye contact because it felt uncomfortable. But my parents forced me to do it and were even angrier when I couldn't look in their eyes. Since then, I kept eye contact even when I didn't want to.
Oh this is so sad! I hope you're doing better. It's hard for me to make eye contact too, although with no reason. It really shouldn't be such a big issue in our society
That’s really sad❤
I'm American, and when I was a military cadet in university, we were REQUIRED to lock eyes with our drill sergeants when we were getting disciplined. For me, (and my buddies), eye contact whilst getting disciplined was 180 degrees the OPPOSITE to S. Korean culture. 😳 SIR, YES, SIR!
I'm Italian and autistic, and I was really brutalized about the whole eye contact thing. Honestly I'm really looking forward to living in a place where it's not required...
@@태이씨 It's not required to "lock" your eyes continuously, but it's a sign of respect and understanding if you do even a little bit.
Last year on summer when I was at the wedding party with my husband (we live in Poland) I wear cornflower blue colour dress. But my dress was one of the darkest dresses at this party. There were many yellow dresses, pink, red, green, lilac ones, especially among young people. When coming to wedding party, we often dance that is why we choose colourful and let's say "happy colours". Black colour is associated with greeve, pain (people who lost their relatives wear it) and also with classic elegance but that does not exactly fit at wedding parties. That is why our black wedding party dresses are often sparkling or we add fashion accesories another colour to black dresscode. Personally, I do not think black colour is suitable for me, cosidering my skin tone. Wedding dress is wedding dress. We do not have dresscode for quests, but it depends on the people (bride and groom).
similar in my country. I was told that when someone (especially the mother of the groom or bride) wears black it means they do not approve the marriage, they are mourning. so wearing black is a big no-no
I liked the natural pace at which you were talking. I can tell I am picking up the language even better. I also liked hearing first, second, third, etc. I have been trying to understand how to say it. This is a great video to get one's ear acclimated to the language.
I was out to eat in America, with my Korean friend and a couple of her Korean friends. We had been chatting and getting along so well. Once the food came, everyone stopped talking. I was trying to keep the conversation going by asking questions. To me, it seemed like they got angry all the sudden. Or that they were mad at me or annoyed with me. It was so uncomfortable. I asked my friend later and she said “Oh, we just don’t really talk while we eat.” Is that just something Korean people do? Or is it rude to chat during a meal? It’s interesting because in America you are a good dinner guest by being warm, and being a good conversationalist. And telling stories or jokes, or asking people questions about their life. It was a very enlightening moment for me!
I believe they like to get the eating out of the way and then talk after, especially like business meetings?
Hmm... isn't it better to follow the "rules" of the country you're in, as would be expected if they were in YOUR country (as long as it's Legal)? ...or, if not, explain why you're uncomfy with conversation during the meal. Isn't it rude to make a person uncomfortable in their home country?
No judgement at all from me!! It was just a big lightbulb moment for me, how much culture impacts us at an unconscious level. And how wrong it can be to make assumptions about people’s actions.
I’ve read and heard that Koreans talk throughout their meals, they eat to communicate with each other, business is discussed and a multitude of other subjects.
We talk while eating meals. Just we don't want to make chewing-sound or show all the food in our mouth. Maybe their mouths were full of food and they wanted to talk after chewing them and talk when their mouth is empty. I just remember that my mom always scolded me when I made some chewing sound while I was eating. You are eating like pigs. hahaha... I just realized that I am doing the same education to my daughter but still she is not educated either. ^^ Whenever I saw a lot of young Korean people making a big sound while they were eating in the TV shows...Sometimes I feel like they are making sound intentionally. I guess they just want to look themselves are casual or something... I don't know. But I just don't feel comfortable and worry that my daughter would do the same things in public. ㅠㅠ That's the evidence you are not properly educated in true Korean culture. Once I saw my daughter eat spaghetti without the spoon & fork and eating with chopsticks... I just scolded her as well. 80s, I have been taught that spaghetti is something with big spoons and forks. Not with chopsticks from my mom. When Korean culture is getting casual somewhat, but in terms of manner, sometimes, I feel like it is descending....
This was super interesting to learn about! I would love to learn more about Korean Culture from you guys.
As for here in Europe, I think there are certain things that are also concidered impolite, but it's not necesarily looked down upon. Things such as pointing with your chin/nodding or throwing items to someone older (except maybe an older sibling or friend) is not something I would ever do, but I don't think you'd necesarily be concidered rude if you did.
I think when you're being scolded and you look down, in a lot of contexts (such as school and at work) it would be concidered as you seeming weak, which can make people look down on you. I somewhat wish this wasn't the case because I'm very bad at maintaining eye contact when I'm being scolded haha (luckily it doesn't happen too often).
There's no real "rules" for eye contact during drinking, but here in Belgium it's definitely concidered polite to look into someone's eyes as you "cheers" before you start drinking.
Sitting etiquette depends on where you are. It's concidered rude to take up a lot of space (like "manspreading" or setting your bag next to you (although this one most of us do anyway to maintain our personal bubble haha)) when you're meant to share the seating with others like on public transport or during meetings at work, but when you're a guest on a show or in private settings, you can usually get comfortable.
Wearing colour at wedding's is usually ok, wearing a white dress is not and I have heard stories of wearing a red dress implying that you oppose the marriage, but I'm not sure about those details, I think in general wearing bright red is concidered very attention-seeking over here as it's such a bright and noticible colour.
Thank you for the useful information! We are going to Korea in May and it will help a lot in not being rude to the Korean people. In Belgium we never wear white at weddings, same as in Korea, but flashy colours are allowed and appreciated. Greeting someone with your hands in your pockets is considered very rude! When you get scolded here, you should look at the person scolding you, they will even ask for it. It's like, look me in the eye and see that I mean it! Or see in my eyes that I'm honest. The same for drinking or hanging out with each other: you want to look people in the eye. Especially when you make a toast for good health or something like that, otherwise you don't mean it. What puzzles me the most is that I get the feeling that in Korea older people are always right when saying or doing something?! In Belgium it is allowed to disagree with an older person, in a respectful way and tone of voice. A discussion is not always seen as negative but as an opportunity to learn from each other. Older people can learn from younger ones and vice versa. Throwing things is always a little impolite and only acceptable between good friends or colleagues. When eating toghether with, friends or family or colleagues there is a rule that you wait until everyone at your table is served before you start eating. If the table is very big (like more then eight people) sometimes you wait untill the people close to you are served and then start eating. If you are the guest of someone, you wait until your host starts eating. These rules are independent of age. Hopefully you will come to Belgium one day and enjoy our ways of being like we will enjoy yours!
The same rules apply in Sweden as well.
To making eye contact. When I was scolded by my mother (or teacher, whoever), the go to argument was "look at me, when I'm speaking with you!". So i think here we have to at least make eye contact to "listen" to being scolded. I'm from Czech republic, I don't know how it is in other countries haha
In France, there are several things that, like in your country, are considered impolite: for example keeping your hands in your pockets when greeting someone, throwing something at a person or adopting a position that is too casual (unless you are with friends or relative).
As for table habits, here's how it works in my region: you always have to wait for everyone to be served (whether at a family meal, with friends or in a restaurant). Then you say "Bon appetit" ("맛있게 드세요") and everyone starts at the same time. (In the past, it was the hostess who gave the signal) I don't drink wine but if I want to drink water for example, I ask for the bottle to be passed to me and then I have to ask the people nearby of me who also wants to drink water. If someone hands their glass, I pour it first before helping myself.It's usually the same for people drinking wine...
You must always look people in the face when they talk to you, otherwise they will think that you are not paying attention to what they are saying, that you don't care or even that you are going to lie.
One of the things that is considered very rude here (and which you don't talk about in your video) is not holding the door for someone who is following you when you are leaving a store for example. We say “Shut the door in your face”. It's really rough...
@MissGardenGG1
This is so interesting. Thank you for sharing. Here are just some points in the U.S. Everyone does dress up wanting to look their best for their family or friend's wedding. It is very much a huge celebration. We do shake hands here when you meet someone new, but I haven't seen people with a hand in their pocket while shaking hands (but I'm sure it does happen in a casual setting and not so much in a business setting). If you are getting scolded it is expected to keep your attention on the person which shows that you are paying attention. If you look the other way while being scolded, it can be seen as not paying attention and ignoring them. Throwing things to other people (even if they are older) depends on how close the relationship is, whether family or friend. Usually this happens when the other person asks you to throw it to them. Throwing something to someone, without them asking, can seem rude. As far as the drinking, there really are no rules. You don't have to look away or look them in the eyes and it is Ok to pour your own drink. When eating in a group (at a restaurant), we usually wait until most of the orders are in the table. But if the other's say that it's Ok to eat, you can begin eating. Age really doesn't matter. Of course, these are my experiences. It might be different in other regions of the U.S.
정말 잘 봤어요
고맙게도 한국 여행하기 전에 이런 무례한 행동을 대부분 알고 있었지만 이렇게 들으면서 진짜 좋았어요
자막 많이 감사합니다
I love these podcasts! Can I just add, as an intermediate learner, I prefer the large text, voice only style, it's easier to focus (no distraction, great production) and the text is right at the centre and Yeji you have such a great calming voice for voice work! I really do love these vids though and wanted to say THANK YOU YEJI AND TTMIK TEAM.
I'm started today on the level 9 ttmik, and I understand all the speech in this video! Although some of them in context. Thank you so much for your work!
woah this was surprisingly inspiring! i was feeling a bit discouraged by how little i understood, even though i am only on level 2 XD
For number 10 in Italy when we gather together to eat, whether it's with family members, at a friend's house or with coworkers, we usually wait for everyone to sit at the table and then start eating after saying "Buon appetito!" which means "Bon appétit!"/"Enjoy your meal!". Sometimes, when we eat at our relatives' house, we also wait for the host (or whoever has prepared the meal) to sit at the table and then all together say "Buon appetito" and start eating.
That‘s right I also have family in Italy :D but in Germany it‘s also the same
@@coraliep5808 Das ist wirklich interessant! ^_^ In some more religious families people also pray before eating but that usually happens in a more close family situation, if they're all catholic obviously. In general we just say "Buon appetito", kind of like the equivalent of "잘 먹겠습니다!" ;) .
These kinds of videos are good for you to practice shadowing in Korean and to get Korea's cultural knowledge. I really love this.
谢谢你用韩语介绍这些，语速很合适，声音也好听，对我的韩语听力帮助很大
이게 너ㅓㅓㅓ무 신기했어요! 20분 아니고 5분 영상을 보는 게 느껴졌다! 솔직히 일부 단어를 잘 모른데 많이 배웠다. 앞으로 이런 영상을 많이 기대돼요. 감사합니다 예지 선생님!!! 🙇
I think these are common courtesies that we have forgotten in the U.S. They are more subconscious now, but they do still exist. Our massive entertainment industry has cut holes in our society. We dress like we're in Las Vegas for weddings and we don't follow much else. Hands in pockets might still be a no-go. Some people still take their hats off indoors, but most people don't bother anymore.
It's true! If you're being scolded in America, if you look down or away, it seems like you're being evasive. This could mean you look like you feel guilty, like you have something to hide, or like you aren't being truthful.
As for the rules about when to eat, it varies within America with different subcultures. But I think broadly: 1. If you're visiting someone's house or at home, you wait for whoever is the head of the household to begin eating. So, for example, even if my grandparents were visiting my family, we would wait for my dad to begin eating. This is pretty traditional and is less common these days, but I think still a fairly common rule of thumb. 2. At work, eating with bosses, it's generally once the highest ranked person starts eating like in Korea. 3. With friends or any other group setting, you wait for everyone to have their food before you start eating unless permission is given by those not eating. It's generally rude to eat in front of someone who doesn't have food yet.
mid-west USA here, I've never noticed people waiting for the oldest / highest ranking to eat first. At restaurants we seem to just start eating based on when each person's food is brought out. In a home setting, everyone begins eating basically at the same time - dishing out whatever food item is nearest to them first and then perhaps passing dishes around. With friends - I do see what you mentioned sometimes about waiting for everyone to receive their food before anyone eats, but also quite often everyone agrees to just eat as the food arrives instead of waiting.
In the US, it is considered rude to not look someone in the eyes when they are speaking. Otherwise, it seems like you’re not listening to what they are saying. Just like the saying,”look at me when I’m talking to you! 😡” lol
If you are embarrassed, it’s common to look down. For dining….informal, as soon as every one sits down, time to pass the food and eat.
Formal settings, like holidays, birthdays, restaurants, the meals starts per the host. In regards to serving someone, it’s polite to serve the host and the eldest first. 18:30
Anyway, just a note from my experience.
I really enjoy these type of cultural videos! 감사합니다! 18:30
Yes that's true in the UK for example, if I looked away when I was being scolded they might think I'm not listening or ignoring them, so it could be seen as rude. It's interesting how it's different!
For a wedding it's ok to wear dresses in bright colours as long as it's not white (black might seem a bit funeral like) but you'd still try not to wear something that upstages the bride.
I haven't heard of the eye contact part while drinking but certainly turning away would be unusual here. I wouldn't throw anything to someone in the office but if it's very informal and the colleagues are close they might do.
Nobody waits for an older person to eat here but you would at least wait until everyone is seated and ready.
이 영상을 만들어주셔서 너무 감사합니다! 곧 한국인과 같이 일할 저에게는 정말 유용한 내용입니다!
I'm American, and when I was a military cadet in university, we were REQUIRED to lock eyes with our drill sergeants when we were getting disciplined. For me, (and my buddies), eye contact whilst getting disciplined was 180 degrees the OPPOSITE to S. Korean culture. 😳 SIR, YES, SIR! 🇺🇸🤝🇰🇷
As In Hong Kong, I found that there are a lot of similarities between our cultures, like the red pen rule, both hands rule, even waiting for the elders to eat first exist sometimes, but the drinking culture is still too much, I guess culture differences makes international communications interesting.
drinking culture is truly different. Here we look into the eyes while clinging the glasses. If you do not, it's impolite and you are supposed to buy the next round. But you can then drink for your own (you do not have to look while drinking) Also as for drinking with my father in law, who is Korean. He usually pours himself the drink, so I just reach my hands out, as if I were to support him. Hope this is correct. I've never asked :)
I am from German and English descent from Minnesota. We were taught to always wait and don't eat until the elder started, just like in Korea. Thank you, for your wonderful lesson ❤.
In my country , kids eat first .
Its not a rule that people have to follow , usually people insist on the eldest to eat first (if they're elderly only) . But little kids tend to be impatient so the older people always say "let the kids eat first" .
So usually the person who eats first is one of the younger ones who are really impatient🤷🏻♀️ . Its not like everyone waits for them to eat , more like , they eat before anyone could react lol
People looking away and covering the glass behind their hand looks hilarious like they are making a clumpsy attempt to hide that they are drinking. 😂
Over-formality is an obstacle to human communication. Basic politeness is essential, but respect has to be earned, not assumed. Elders aren't always worthy of respect. And you should challenge if you are being treated unfairly.
Thank for this video explaining the culture among Korean people. It’s quite similar to my traditional chinese traditions.
Thank you for another great video! 잘 봤습니다 :)
As an American, the basic table manners I was raised with were: elbows off the table and don't talk with food in your mouth. However, when I was in the army, it was generally considered a superiors' duty to ensure their juniors ate first and get their food last. Differences like this make things so interesting!
What always confuses me is when eating together, let's say someone working for TTMIK is older than Hyunwoo. Does Hyunwoo have to start eating first or would he wait for the older person to eat first? How do you determine whether to go with rank or age and does rank factor in cases like being at a meeting and at the table is a company president and someone else who is older than the company president but not that president's employee?
It's my understanding that in a company/business situation, rank outweighs age.
@@winegoddess211 but what about a non-business situation?
이런 경우 때문에 한국에선 나이가 많은 사람이 자신보다 나이가 적은 상사 밑에서 일하기를 꺼리고, 상사도 자신보다 나이가 많은 부하직원을 가지길 꺼립니다. 그래서 질문한 경우는 잘 발생하지 않습니다. 하지만 그런 일이 발생한 경우, 보통 회사 직급을 따릅니다. 하지만 나이가 어린 상사가 나이 많은 부하직원에게 하는 행동은 일반적인 상황과 다를 수 있을 거 같아요.
솔직히 말해서 아주 아주 중요하고 격식을 차려야하는 자리가 아니라면 그냥 '맛있게 드세요'하고 동시에 먹는 편입니다. 직급이나 나이에 상관없이요
I grew up in the UK , Australia, and various parts of Asia, and I don't know if it's OK anywhere to shake hands with someone with one hand in your pocket. Maybe if your friendship group is extremely informal or you're kids, or you live in the arctic circle. But in a work or formal setting, or with strangers you want to leave a good impression on, it's disrespectful. Like Yeji says about Korea, you can't be bothered to take your hands out of your pockets?
But I'm 36. Maybe I'm out of touch.
Im in my mid 20s and grew up in Europe and you're right, i totally agree its disrespectful and rude.
You're not out of touch yet xD
@@drizzbizz9063I grew up in Europe and agree with both of you. Maybe Americans are less strict about this as they tend to be rather lax, like wearing a suit with a baseball cap and sneakers...
@@chrismossy9774 No, this would be considered rude in America, as well. I can't imagine anyone shaking hands with one hand in their pocket. It would be considered dismissive and rather arrogant where I was raised. I also, don't know anyone who would wear a suit with a baseball cap, but I'm sure there is someone out here who has tried it.
Yes it's the same in the Dominican Republic.
Thank you for this helpful video! Actually I am a little confused right now. I am going to a Korean wedding of my boyfriends friend soon, but he told me not to wear black because you would think of a funeral then, better would be navy like colors. I chose a toned down green now because I don‘t like navy but… what is it about the black?
I was wondering that too- black seems more funeral like
In my country black is kind of the color of death. At funerals everyone needs to wear black. So black dresses express feeling of loss, sadness. If you wear black at a wedding they would think you're not happy for the couple, maybe your an ex or just wanted to marry either of them.
Of course it's not that harsh nowadays, but as a tradtion most people try to follow the rules.
(Edit: I'm European. So I don't know othet country's reasons. But maybe similar.)
@@hu_ngtan where exactly do you come from? Because I am German and you would probably also chose a brighter color for a wedding but at the same time it would be no Desaster to wear black
@@hu_ngtan yeah that’s true too haha. I mean, where I’m from (USA) it’s not that big of a deal but it IS kinda a tad of an odd color. Unless that’s what the theme is. Cuz y cousin had a themed wedding where she wanted her guests to wear black, dark purple or dark green. So it was kinda funny to be going opposite of what I’d normally wear to a wedding.
I’m sure if ppl saw us from afar, they would think we were attending a funeral 😂 until they saw the bride who was wearing a big white dress.
@@coraliep5808 From Hungary. The interesting thing is that we have so much tradition from German origin. We're kind of a cultural mix. But this is a little different. I wouldn't say disaster but the couple definitely wouldn't be happy and all the guest would talk/gossip about why you're wearing black. (Of course there's always exemptions and there's bride/groom who wouldn't care, but generally it's the other.)
Ah and about the drinking: in Germany when you cheer it is important to look each other in the eyes, because if you do not, there is a saying that you are going to have bad sex for the next couple of years 😂😂 but while drinking it doesn‘t matter.
I've been living in Canada since 1998. I'm from Mexico and before I moved to this great country I worked as a nurse; the morning shift will write everything in blue, including our names and the patient's too. The afternoon shift will write everything in green and the night shift will use red, it was mandatory for almost all hospitals in Mexico, I don't know if they still doing so, but when I worked night shift I used only red for everybody. I wonder which colours use in Korea. I loved your video. Greetings from Toronto.
It was very interesting and informative, thanks
i like to be casual and friendly with every person i encounter, to me formality feels kind of rude and offensive and unnecessary. i dont know that this is common in the uk but if im sharing a meal with someone i like to wait until everyone is seated/ready to eat before eating my food, but sometimes people will say you don't need to wait for me or ask if they can eat first if im not ready yet etc
If an elder asks us to throw something to him, should we throw it with both hands to make it more polite? 🤔😆
this 😂
😂😂
What if you're in a situation where you're being scolded unfairly/for wrong reasons/etc., and so you really *don't* agree? 😅😅
Hi!
Nice video, very interesting! 😊
In France we have some similar behaviours, regarding eating with a group of people.
Before starting to eat, we should wait until everyone's plate has been served, and then usually we would say "bon appétit !" (=Enjoy your meal) before anyone start eating. No matter age you are.
It's considered a bit rude to start before the others. Of course when you're eating with 1-2 closed friends, and it's more casual, you could start before them, but at least make sure their meal have been served as well before starting.
For the drinking habits, we usually look people in the eyes only while saying "cheers" and shocking the glass. 🥂 If you don't look at them at that moment, some people would even tell you, to do it again in the proper way. 😂
I think it's because "cheers" in french is "santé" which literally means "health". So if you don't look the other person in the eyes while saying it, it's like you don't really wish him/her a good health. It's a kind of superstition as well.
I am curious, I started talking to someone from Korea but whenever I asked about what he did for fun or as a hobby he ignored the question. I asked again and he would answer other things but not that one. I mentioned it was rude to ignore someone for 6 days. He also wouldn't ask me any questions, only answer mine. Is it rude to ask questions of the person you are speaking to? Is it offensive to ask someone about their hobbies or how they spend their free time? Any insight would be much appreciated so I don't disrespect another Korean in my future interactions. Thank you.
In Ireland it is often considered sacrilege to drink a pint of Guinness (or any porter ) before it has settled. People will swear at you in some places. And in both the UK and Ireland when drinking we often do "rounds" where one person pays for all the drinks, then the next person does and so on. If you don't pay for your round or at least pay for a big round the next time you drink it's considered rude. So you have to time when to drop out of the round or pick your round partners wisely. There is whole etiquette with it too. When there are 10 of you and no-one thinks it through it can get very messy. "Your round, mate" is said to men and women alike.
This is great information, thank you! My husband and I are heading to Korea for a month in March. We have been before, but never with this much information.
In Germany we don't wait for the eldest to eat but are considered to wait until everyone is ready. Speaking of..unlike in Korea it's considered impolite to order food in germany if someone is late to the party. We mostly wear dark colours on funerals. For the wedding ceremony. i'm a little bit surprised to learn that you should wear dark colours to not steal the show of the bright. Altough its etiquete not to shop up in a huge voluminous dress, you can wear bright colours ( if not told otherwise). i don't have a single black clothes in my closet so no korean weddings for me, i guess. :D
There are many new situations that are rude. What happens if a Korean person is rude?
I’m American and people do things around me that I think are rude, like throwing things to me. I don’t know what to say. It just bothers me. Do Koreans have a way to reject an interaction or correct someone?
They don't really. You might get a speculative look. Korean people tend to avoid conflict and they know that western people don't always know their cultural rules, so they might just overlook it if it's a once of or not incredibly rude. They also might avoid the same situation next time, like not wanting to see you again. Just like any other country, if you go to Korea you will need to follow these rules - they are important, just like Korean people would need to follow your society rules in your country. I'd say that American culture kind of has a more 'liberal' view to what extremes everyone can annoy everyone else compared to most countries. In Australia, for example, we will just find a way to inform someone flat that they're rude - usually making fun of them with our special brand of humour. We generally expect people to consider other people with their actions.
Thank you for this video, that was really interesting and useful. ❤ I am from central Europe and as you said we had 99.9% opposite rules here, I call it 'no rules' 😅. However, I was used to wait to eldest to eat when family met for the Christmas (grandpa's rules) as a kid and I still do that even when my family don't want that anymore. About alcohol, I am not use to drink often, but my friend wanted me to have a drink at my birthday party last year and she was pretty angry because I wasn't able to share an eye contact as I started to drink with my korean friends who was older and I learnt korean rules first. 😂🎉 I am always confused about an eye contact here, because even when I was learnt to look in the eyes anytime, I don't like it and try to avoid it until I am not mad, that is the only moment when I use deadly eye contact for sure. So I think it may be unberable to work for a company and be scoled. 😅 Yay!
Great video! Question: A lot of rules seem to relate to people who are clearly of different ages or ranks, like young people and older people. What happens when people who are all, let's say, in their 60s or older meet up? Is there still ranking going on -- like, who's older? who has the higher status? who eats first? who pours the other's drink? etc. Or are all bets off once you reach halmoni/haraboji age?
From what I gathered, they then move on to birth month if everyone is the same age OR the person who has the latest achievement is given the honor to go first
One of the challenges that Korean people often have when coming to Australia, is that even though we definitely have "polite" and "casual" behaviours, we are very relaxed about them, and so it is not uncommon for me to address my boss in a very casual way. Because of how little we think about politeness, often it can be difficult for people to see examples of those polite behaviours in everyday life. So if you meet an Australian and they seem disrespectful, it is probably that they have just forgotten to be polite.
Not just that, but being "too polite" can make you seem self-important and less honest to an Australian, which may actually make Australians act more rudely back. The reason is that "formal/polite behaviours" are seen as being for more refined/higher-class people, so if someone they don't know is being very polite, some Australians think "this person thinks they are more high-class than me" and so some people react to this by being sharp or dismissive. Because of this misunderstanding, it can be very surprising as someone being rude or dismissive and seeming insulted will usually make people from "politeness cultures" try to be MORE polite, which makes the situation worse.
So in Australia, sometimes if someone you don't know starts to act unhelpful or offended when you are speaking very respectfully, it might be that you are being TOO polite.
That said, if someone is making you uncomfortable, it is always OK to for you to say so. "I'm sorry, I feel uncomfortable being so familiar with someone I've just met" very quickly explains why you are acting so formally, and Australians will generally accept that.
It’s true, in Australia we hate anyone assuming they are superior to us.
I actually get angry watching KDramas when the boss or the father is being unfair and everyone just bows and apologizes.
And yet, despite the politeness, it seems like using violence is far more acceptable in Korea. I’m not sure if this is just on TV or if it’s real, but people are always slapping someone, and it seems fine for a man to hit a woman. That is totally unacceptable here.
eye contact is viewed as a sign of acknowledgement in many circumstances in western culture, even while being scolded. as some have mentioned here admission of guilt may be interpreted when avoiding eye contact. i can definitely see avoiding eye contact in asian cultures as a sign of deference and respect since age/title are important in many ways there. this was an excellent video explaining rationale for the perception of rude behavior in korean culture and how some behaviors share similar viewpoints in chinese and japanses cultures as well.
A few decades ago when Kekkonen was still the president of Finland, he greeted the representatives of the Soviet Union with one hand in his pocket. We assume that it was intentional, a sign for Finnish people about his true feelings towards the Soviet Union.
As a native speaker of Swedish, I find it weird that Finnish people study Swedish even now since the days of the Swedish dominance are long gone.
Have you seen the film "The tough one's"? The Swedish title was "Finnjävlar"😅
@@chrismossy9774, Finland has many Swedish speakers in the population and the language has official status, so it is inevitable that Finns study Swedish. I have not seen the mentioned film, but the concept of "finnjävel" is familiar to me.
@@juha-petrityrkko3771 I know that Swedish used to be the linked to the "educated" in Finland and until 1814 Finland was part of Sweden so then it made sense to learn Swedish. But nowadays everyone speak English so Swedish seems unnecessary to learn.
I think it's amazing that the Finnish language is so different from Swedish and Russian even though Finland is between Sweden and Denmark.
I heard Finnish is related to Hungarian and also to Korean as an Altaic language.
That film kind of shows a lot of Finnish stereotypes and is quite ironic, kind of.
Finland has a sad and dramatic history a bit similar to Korea with civil war and in between two larger countries. The small country of Korea also struggled to survive as a nation as you know.
@@chrismossy9774, Finnish language differs from its neighbours, because it exists in a local pocket, together with Estonian and Samic. There are other such pockets near the Ural mountains where people speak Komi, Mari, Vepsä, and other languages distantly related with Finnish. And on a larger scale there may indeed be the Altaic connection you mentioned.
Swedish is not going to disappear from Finland any time soon, as its position is protected by law, and public services are expected to be bilingual, at least in the coast regions where the percentage of Swedish speakers is higher.
I personally like foreign languages and have nothing against studying Swedish, even though I know that there are some other Finns who rather find it a nuisance.
김예지 선생님 정말 감사합니다! 💕
Would gladly appreciate it if you could provide soft subtitles through youtube's subtitle feature as well. That way it's easier to look up words and use sentence mining software. It's also more accessible as people with bad vision can customize the size and style of the text.
Hey! TTMIK and you make a video about korean handwriting pretty plz. Cuz I'm really interested to know what a natural korean handwriting looks like and some tips to improve it 💖😅
It's interesting, some of these, such as pointing with your chin, shaking hands or greeting with hands in the pockets, and throwing things to people, feel rude to me personally, but they are not inforced social rules in my country (Australia).
I'm not sure if i would even specifically think "that's rude" if they happened, but I would just get this feeling that the other person is not being respectful, and i imagine other people would feel the same.
We just don't really have widespread social expectations and superstitions in this way, and everyone varies so widely across the country.
However, as some other people have said, we also don't wear white to someone elses wedding, but colours are usually fine, just not something outrageously fancy or attention seeking.
And it's considered far more respectful to maintain eye contact when scolded, and in social situations in general.
So fascinating! ❤️
Looking down when being scolded totally makes sense. I already avoid eye contact, even though (at least in America) it's frowned upon. I do this because it is easier for me to focus on what they are saying. Looking back on one particular scolding, the person scolding me kept chasing where my eyes were looking. I would look to one side and then the other, they would walk over to where I was looking. Even though I'm in a society that favors eye contact... I have to avoid it for scolding... that is just how I am wired. Looking down with hands down will help me... thanks.
In Britain it is also poor form to wear white to a wedding, as you say, white is reserved for a bride. However, black or very sombre colours are also best avoided - black is for funerals. Men can wear dark suits, but grey or navy preferably, not black. There is no reason for guests to avoid other bright colours.
If being scolded, you would be expected to look directly at the speaker.
The British share the same view of - pointing with your eyes/chin, shaking hands with anyone with the other hand in your pocket and throwing (unless asked to do so). It is disrespectful.
In Britain, in fact in most of Europe - especially Scandinavia - you are expected to look the person with whom you are drinking in the eye. In Scandinavia etiquette requires eye contact with every one in the drinking circle before drinking.
At a polite meal table, no one starts to eat until the hostess (usually - the host if no woman) has invited them to eat by lifting their own cutlery. Neither age nor social status matters.
We don't have ancestral rites, but sticking a spoon upright in a bowl of food would simply look odd/awkward.... not rude per se.
Teachers use red ink when marking students work, there is no superstition about it, but if you use red ink to write expect to be teased for being "teacher".
Also you shake hands with your right hand not your left. Even if you are left-handed
It’s interesting because we don’t really have many rules about when someone’s older than you in Sweden, but I wouldn’t lean on a leg or throw something to my grandma if I hadn’t asked first. Eye contact is also interesting topic, because like in other western countries it is polite to look others in the eyes (especially when you talk to them). About weddings I think you can choose clothes you like but it’s common to wear a tide or shirt. Kamsamida for the video.
For eating together at dinner time, USA-
Usually we just wait until everyone has been served. We don't have a particular order. However, at a large holiday gathering we will serve the children first so the adults can eat peacefully.
Really interesting topic.
I never started eating before my grandparents or even my parents. Until today I´ll wait eating before my wife starts to eat. Thank you for the lesson and advice.
I knew about the shaking hands, although I think when giving and receiving things, it’s okay to simply use one hand to support the other arm, right? At least, I think I’ve seen people do that both in dramas/videos and in real life.
With the eye contact while being scolded, I certainly prefer not looking the other person in the eye at those times! Growing up, when my parents used to scold us, my sister and I would both be looking down and nod our heads or verbally indicate every now and then that we were listening. The only problem was, I learned to keep myself occupied during those times by thinking of other things, only tuning back in every once in a while to give the required indication of attention… 😅 I actually pay attention as an adult, though.
I didn’t know the thing about eating! And a friend of mine just asked me the other day… we’ve been visiting Korean churches in the area and she asked me at lunch if we needed to wait to eat. I told her that we could start eating, and now I realize I didn’t observe everyone else carefully enough to see what they were doing… 😅 Even in America, in some places they prefer to wait until everyone at the table is seated with their food before beginning. I don’t think anyone took offense, though, so it must’ve been okay.
I rarely throw objects to people, in general, unless they say it’s okay. Even then I try not to, but that’s more because I’m worried I might accidentally hit them with my poor aim… 😅
I think this customary tradition to not lean on one leg is changing. Watch the recent Universe Ticket survival show for Kpop idols where Ghelee Dangca was allowed to do it because as a former fashion model, she was used to standing with her legs or knees slightly bent and leaning a little bit forward like a fashion model. In fact, all the contestants were asked to do so with their legs leaning with a slightly bent knee.🎉
I love number 5 (not making eye contact while being scolded), especially when you’re being wrongfully accused. Unfortunately, my mom will scold me for not looking and demand that i look into her eye “because it’s rude”
I have a question about drinking etiquette... Do those rules apply only when drinking alcohol? Or is it the same when I am drinking other drinks like coffee or juice?
Only alcohol, but it's not that strict these days.
Underlying much of the differences is high regard afforded to older people in Asia. Even among children deference to older ones is very weak in West but much much stronger in Asian countries.
Muchas gracias! Muy interesante 😊👏👏👏
the 1 thing i find the most difficult is the one about eye contact. where i'm from whenever someone is talking to you or scolding you you should be giving eye contact. in my country it shows you are paying attention and listening to the person who is speaking. its so interesting how it can be considered so differently in another country
In terms of drinking, in UK at least, eye contact at the clinking of glasses or saying "cheers", rather than every time you take a drink, is considered polite, but above all a sign of sincerity.
Re scolding, especially but not only in a school environment, the person being scolded will almost certainly be told to "look at me when I'm talking to you" if he/she is looking away at that moment, as it would be seen as disrespectful to the teacher/senior delivering the scolding.
Everything that is rude in Korea is opposite in US 😦. The only thing that is the same is throwing something to someone and depending on the area you live, starting to eat before everyone else can also be rude.
In Indonesia, we give and receive with our right hand. Otherwise, it'd be considered impolite. In cases where the right hand isn't available (eg: carrying a lot of things and can't easily switch hands) then usually we say, sorry we use our left hand.
Thank you for your interesting information it does help. However, I would just likt to correct you with the drinking rule in Austria and most countries in Europe . We just look at each other when we say 'cheers'. We do not look while drinking.
The pointing with your chin one is interesting. The Navajo in the southwest of the USA pointing this way all the time since it is considered rude to point with your finger.
Here in America, it is seen as very disrespectful (in most places) if you don't make eye contact while being scolded. It makes others feel like you are not listening. That is interesting to hear that in Korea it's the exact opposite. As for the crossing your legs part, to sit like the photo is seen as impolite here too. It is seen as a lack of respect or care. Sometimes, it can even be seen as you feeling like you're above the other person.
I'm from Southern America, and we just need to make sure everyone has their food before we start eating. If you're eating with religious people (I can only speak for Christian sects), they often need to say grace first, and it's considered polite to wait until they're finished before you eat, even if you don't follow the same religion.
At weddings, you just can't wear white. It's looked at as incredibly distasteful, like you want to steal attention or want to be the one getting married. Not even the mothers of the bride or groom should wear white because it comes off as having a weird controlling or inappropriate relationship with their kid. There are many stories of bridal party members "accidentally" spilling wine on a guest's white dress to make them change outfits, or leave altogether. Some other areas/communities in America have additional social rules for weddings, though. For example, in some areas you shouldn't wear red, because it means you've either been with or are in love with the groom.
The eye contact while being scolded is different for everyone in America, I think. I personally view avoiding eye contact during scolding or an argument as rude, and I was raised to think that way. Eye contact (for people like me, at least) shows that you're engaged and actively listening to the person talking to you. I can see why some people wouldn't agree, though, and may think it comes off as being defiant.
안녕하십니까 선생님
저는 우즈베키스탄 사람입니다, 그런데 선생님 설명하신 중에 우리 나라도 또 같이 있는 문화 예의가 있습니다, 10 번 교직입니다. 우리 나라도 가정들과 함께 식사를 할 때 항상 어린이 시작하고 나서 , 그 다음 다른 사람들이 시작할 수 있는, 기다리는 순간이 있습니다. 선생님은 우리한테 준비했던 비디오로 많은 것을 배웠습니다. 감사하겠습니다.
This is really interesting like l can relate to some of the things here
There is a thing here in South Africa well l don't know about other people but my mom used to tell me to not point at other people's houses with my fingers because my finger will bend or something like that and also we have some superstitions like don't cut your hair or nails at night
Wooow
Then my country is lucky to not have many rules, although respect is still there.
Once you come to Kenya🇰🇪🇰🇪, you're friends with everyone, there's no high rank or small rank in terms of eating or drinking, although in terms of speaking, there is respect, also in greetings there is respect, but bowing is not one of them, only greeting with both hands and speaking formally.
About food, all are welcome and can start eating whenever you are ready, once gathered, we keep official ranks away and act like family and friends.
Also about posture, for us as long as you've not worn any sexy or seductive clothes, you are free to sit or stand however you want, so long as the clothes are not so much exposing. Also sometimes it's the elders who give you permission to be comfortable and feel free however you want, only respectable words/speech/ way of speaking matters to them.
About being scolded, the only way we will know you are telling the truth is if you look at me straight to the eye while explaining yourself or even when being scolded, looking away shows you are not confident, so you're guilty😅
But if you look straight in the eye and stand by your answer, that shows you mean what you are saying .
So, here it's easier to know who is lying or who is not saying the truth. Though sometimes people pretend, obviously.
When foreigners come to Kenya, they adapt very quickly and feel relaxed, compared to when Kenyans visit Korea, since they have to learn about what to do and what not to do before travelling there😊😊
All in all its so good that we get to learn different cultures and rules of different countries, that's the fun fact about visiting different countries and making new friends. Adaptation.
I have a Persian background and we have something called "taarof". It is too complex to explain here but anyone can search it on Wikipedia.
I read something years ago and only remember 2 things, the number of times you have to refuse a gift before accepting it and something about left and right being confusing. They told about a family drive where the driver was confused by the directions of an immediate family member. Did I dream that part or is there something about left and right?
@@cynthiapowers8139 I have no idea about the left and right thing, but just like in English, the word "right" could mean both the "right direction" and also "right" as in affirmative or good. So maybe that's where the confusion came in?
From France:
1. It is also considered disrespectful to wear white at a wedding because ot looks like you're trying to steal attention from the bride, but it is (or used to) also considered rude to wear black for ladies, because it is the colour of funerals. Unless it's a nice fancy cocktail dress. But flashy colours are ok, I've never heard of avoiding bright colours at weddingd, it's all about happiness and festive.
5. It is the opposite here, I think, but it's not an "official" rule, it's just cultural mentality... If you look down when someone is scolding you, it can be percieved as you are avoiding the responsibility of your actions, or not paying attention to the person talking. Making eye contact means that you are attentive and openly listening to what they have to say, or a brave person who is not a coward and can face the reality of their behaviour.
9. There's nothing about making or avoiding eye contact when we drink, but there's a superstition/politeness rule about making eye contact when you cheer with someone before drinking, regardless of the age.
10. There is no set rule as to who eays first, but it is rude to start eating before everybody around the table has been served (different way of serving, we don't have all dishes on the table ans everybody picks in them, there is one or two people, usually the host, serving everybody from the main dishes.) It is also considered rude to start eating before saying "Bon appétit" (the equivalent of "thank you for this meal) to everybody.
The idea of ‘rules’ is interesting to me and a little odd from and Australian perspective. I think because we’re so multicultural we’ve come to accept that we can’t all be on the same page when it comes to social ‘rules’ and etiquette.
We wouldn’t just throw things at someone if they didn’t ask us to.
Pointing with your chin is something we would only do if our hands were full…
But though we wouldn’t ordinarily do it, it’s not a rule and you wouldn’t offended or upset if someone did.
Certain things like taking up too much space when you’re seated in a public place is considered more uncouth than rude.
We don’t wear white at weddings for the same reason as you have said. But we don’t usually wear black as black is the colour of mourning and funerals. Wearing black at a wedding may signify that you consider the marriage to be a bad thing.
Looking down when being scolded…it’s interesting because here it could be considered a sign of weakness. Even if you’re being scolded you should maintain some self-dignity, as well as pay attention to the one scolding you. So eye contact is more common. However like I said we have lots of cultures so we all tend to be relaxed about that ‘rule too.
And no one even thinks about who should eat first. At a restaurant we would wait for everyone to be served if it’s individual meals before we begin eating.
However we are big on not taking the final item of food. Eg. if we’re sharing a plate of dumplings, there will always be one left over because no one wants to be the rude person who takes the last one.
And there are no rules at all when it comes to drinking alcohol.
It’s super interesting to me because I come from a place where there is almost no social hierarchy.
We never think about age or status.
And even though there is hierarchy in professional settings it’s so subtle as to be almost invisible to outsiders.
Thank you! This was very interesting and I enjoyed it.
What I always want to know though is the origin of a tradition or custom.
I love to know why we do the things we do.
It sounds like the strict version of Polish (Central Europe) etiquette, minus two hands and turning a head while drinking. The head-turn is like avoiding responsibility for consumed alcohol, although if one thinks about respected people not willing others to see they drink, it is understandable. We use these habits for increased politeness situations, like meeting parents of the spouse for the first time, or a high-ranked and distant boss. Apart from that, the percentage of politeness depends on the energy of the person. But the no-nos are hands in pockets, head pointing, finger pointing, weird open legs while seating and the lousy posture. The sight we call "challenging", but if it is not challenging but modest, just for the pure info it is good to look at the scouting peron, if it is not too serious. If the case is intense, mostly children are "hanging the head" and "lowering the sight". If you look away though, not down, it's rude.
The information is in English with Korean subtitles. We’re are the English subtitles?
In Malaysia, there's a new trend where the family members of the bride/groom are all wearing whites hahaha. But it's just a small group of people who continue to do this trend. And we have no color restriction to come to a wedding. Some may wear a very bright color and been praised on it. But good to know that Korea is different. Thank you for always sharing the inside story :)
Talk To Me in Korean makes the best videos! 감사합니다! In America, people eat as soon as there's food in front of them! haha
Even after all these years, the no eye contact one still doesn’t make sense to me. 🤨
We (as humans) naturally turn toward whatever we are paying attention to or away from whatever we are ignoring.
In other words, less eye contact means less attention. Which means the person being scolded is less likely to listen. Less likely to listen increases the chance that the same mistake can happen again.
Isn’t the point of scolding to prevent the same mistake from happening again. Otherwise why bother?
Some of these makes sense, others feel a bit extra in this day and age. Good and clear video!! 😎👍
In South Africa there are various cultures.....generally there is great respect for the elderly.....the young people even use honorifics for seniors......the granny and mother of the family is very respected.....I find in the English and American culture generally they are more casual.....when having dinner the hostess puts the dishes on the table and the elders help themselves first the mother usually plates the childrens food....wine is poured by the host....left on the table and the host will keep an eye on the guests glasses and offer some more to drink....it is considered impolite to take large helpings for yourself. When invited for a meal everybody contributes to the bill unless the host says its his or her treat.....greeting with hands in the pocket is considered rude toward older persons....we generally hug...if we dont know we smile and sometimes shake hands.....I like the bowing culture.....sitting with your legs crossed in company isnt considered rude...but for a formal interview you must sit upright, legs neatly together, hands in lap....when scolded...it is polite to bow your head respectfully and listen....that is not often shown....its a dying trend generally speaking....I am 66 years old and love the respectful culture of Korea. Caring, consideration, kindness and manners is fast disappearing from our society in general.....thank you for your video🌻
In Germany, it is also considered impolite to greet someone with your hands in your pockets. As for no 3: From my understanding, it is not only considered rude to place your chopsticks vertically in someone else's rice bowl, but also in your own. And aren't the names of deceased people ACTUALLY written in red? That would be another reason to avoid doing that for living people.
I feel like my original culture does some of these things, like order of eating and throwing things and maybe crossing legs, but they're not nearly as emphasized as in Korea. And my culture now is very casual so there's almost nothing similar! I was born in South Africa in a sort of British-derived culture, and now I live in Canada. Edit: wearing white at a wedding is also considered a huge insult, according to everyone I've ever spoken with except West Africans
Super interesting!! Thanks for sharing 😃
l learned some of the actions which are considered impolite, while watching some Korean shows.
I want to say that looking down when somebody is scolding you is not a sign of politeness in other countries like America. When I see people being yelled at or scolded they are usually looking right their adversary. Even if it's a parent. Being verbally assaulted by a parent, spouse ir boss is considered abusive speech. I would walk away and say I will talk with you when you calm down and get control of yourself.
A very specifically German thing is that you look someone straight in the eye when you clink glasses before drinking. It doesn't matter where you look as you drink, though. You can actually recognize Germans abroad that way ㅋㅋㅋㅋ