Wacky Races Moreton Wirral

Fender Lame
The A553…or Fender Lane as it’s known to you and me
Runs from Birkenhead to Hoylake, and passes the Moreton Blue Sea
The part by Aldi, over the hill towards Bidston Tesco
The bollards on both sides resemble the style of churrigueresco
This is the part of the A553
That is causing so much local controversy
Wirral Council have once again divided up the local community population
When they cut 4 lanes down to 2 driving much local anger and frustration
There is plenty of room on both Fender sides, there is no need for the lame plastic divides
It’s the motorists vehicle excise duty that £7BILLION TAX provides
Yes of course it must be safe to cycle around the Wirral
But you are punishing the paying motorist for the safety of the rare red Wirral squirrel
Yes.. you can now cycle safely to and from Bidston train station
But Wirral Council have once again shown their procrastination
See they got paid from the government to promote an Active Travel Programme
But judging by the results we can see I would suggest an electroencephalogram
An ambulance has been seen stuck in the queue, imagine now if that was me or you
'But emergency vehicles can go in the cycle lane’ said the ignorant full of disdain
The cyclist now taking up an entire dual carriageway lane, as that cyclist I find this is insane
And I am being blamed again and again for now not using this empty Fender cycling lane
The queuing, tax paying, now baying 'sick of cyclists' public anger persists
Spouting out of their social media angry mouths.. but how long until it’s their fists
While Wirral council persists and insists and ticks off its green cycling lists
I hope the person in the ambulance hasn't cut their blood red wrists
I’ll bet a pound to a pinch of shit as my old dad used to say
That brown envelopes have changed hands at the council, just like the old way
Moreton Bypass, Moreton flyover, Bidston Flyover or Moreton Spur
Just put the bloody thing back to normal as you are driving the locals to despair