You Need To Stop Seeking Instant Gratification
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- čas přidán 22. 03. 2023
- If you would like to discipline yourself, you need to pick a goal you would like to attain, something that will motivate you.
Watch the full video - utm.io/ueSFn
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What gets me is that when Dr. Peterson tells the story about the man who couldn't vacuum, the audience is laughing but Dr. Peterson never is. He realizes that these problems are real, and are mentally crippling for some people. He doesn't strike me as the type of person to sit there and judge you and laugh at you, but genuinely try to help you. That is very humble and respectful of others.
I was looking for this comment. I hated that laughing audience
@@DanielaSantos-tv8tt Same, I was like "Why the hell are they laughing? This story isn't funny, it's tragic."
Theres nothing funny about it unless your very fortunate but not very conscious
Ive been that guy, and now im in the position of these people who laugh, but theyre laughing becsuse despite how convenient it is to believe our lives are uniquely difficult, the people chuckling probably havent been that close to the bottom before, likely ever
? he started the story saying it was very comical and funny
“Allow yourself to be grateful you took the first step forward.”
A step forward is a step forward. Celebrate the hard victories no matter how small.
🤣"no shit, Sherlock"
@@burtlangoustine1 I didn't get shot in the head today. What a victory. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Stop seeking instant gratification? Then I’ll have to stop binging Jordan Peterson videos. 😇
😂 same!
Aha
I'm in this top comment and it hurts.
How cute!!!!! I hope he reads this
Small steps. You’ll be here for a while.
I honestly am insanely grateful for the lessons extracted from Dr. Petersons experience and that he put them on youtube. 10 months ago I was smoking €40-€50 a day both weed and tobacco. I got into rehab and really took this one serious. Thank God. I recreated my micro habits. I do still have a hard time getting up early but I do it. I've gained 18kg in muscle, stopped smoking weed, stopped smoking cigarettes. One thing I have been neglecting was the relationship with my father. I have a plan to talk to him tomorrow I hope the best for it.
Any way my life is way way waaaay better then it was. Thank you so much Petersons. Have a great evening❤
That's a great achievement, well done!
That’s amazing to hear, keep up the great work. We may not know each other but I hope you continue to improve yourself.
Damn! I thought I smoked a lot. lol. good on ya
Amazing work man, keep it up and stay focused, you're gonna be a big inspiration and role model for the people around you
Great job man, keep it coming!
On a side note tho, 18kg of pure muscle in 10 months seems unrealistic unless on PEDs, so for anyone willing to follow his steps don't expect that kind of results 😅
The part about not biting off more than you can chew really struck me. I often get a little too motivated to improve my life and end up crashing and burning because I did too much at once😮
You are not alone, we all tend to be a little to eager. Or greedy at times.😂 But that's the road we are walking on, and in all still great as we are moving forward. Not where we want to be, but better than yesterday.😊
Yes! Part of being disciplined is knowing when to STOP pushing to "improve". I learned this from listening to Mark Rippetoe for strength training. If you do all those bicep curls, is your body going to recover enough to be able to add 5 pounds to your squat next week? The same in any area of your life, if you push beyond your limit too far its going to tire you to the point where you'll be so weak while recovering that you relapse (perhaps into laziness, perhaps it will make you sick) and move backwards. Net negative. Got to know what your limits are and just add ENOUGH challenge that you get A LITTLE better
Absolutely! There have been dozens of times I tried to learn to code and whenever I start, I will sit at the computer for 5 hours and then suddenly I've built an association in my head that coding is supposed to be a 5 hour commitment and my lower brain literally is scared to make the commitment. I need to take Jordan Peterson's advice and just take the smallest step instead of making it a gigantic undertaking in my head
@@stupidrainbo Thank you so much for this comment, maybe I'll start learning programming again one step at a time
Consistency is key.
Cliff Notes:
Baby Steps.
Don't Bite Off More Than You Can Chew.
Set Yourself Up For Victory With A Single Goal, No Matter How Small.
I was a personal trainer in Toronto for over 20yrs, and used this model with some of my clients
that found the gym or exercise in general, daunting.
In some instances, our main goal was, "just going" to the gym; walking around, looking at the machines.
We would do this (in some cases) right when it opened, so they wouldn't feel discouraged by others
that are there; working away, doing there thing at a high, busy pace.
Once they got comfortable with their surroundings, the next goal was to sit in machine...
That's it. Generally, with a sense of "curiosity."
Like; "Oh, this one looks interesting, what's this?"
Once they felt comfortable with that, I would ask them to perform
a rep or set with minimal weight/resistance, and then see how that felt.
Sometimes this process was over several weeks; others, as quickly in a day.
My point (and Jodan's) if you set yourself up for a win, no matter how small the goal/achievement is,
it will lead to other goals which will slowly get you to your desired destination.
Scott Adams says the most important thing is to get dressed in your gym clothes, to have a specific set of clothes you associate with exercise. This triggers the trained response of at least travelling to the gym. See how you feel then. The trained response is to exercise. Same sort of thing but it's systems instead of goals. But I guess that's for embedding the habit after you've broken through the mental block of trying in the first place.
Did the people who took weeks to visit the gym.and not exercise ever get fit?
Thank you.
Genius.
sounds like the concept of atomic habits
Protect this man at all costs.
Nah if the cost exceeds about $50 I'm out.
@@Profile.4 US or Canadian?
@@user-ug2hk3go6i ruble
another smart human lol this world is full of them.. He is a fkn Jew pretending like all the rest of the jews that they care. wake up!
Jews hate everybody who isnt jew but they mastered hiding their emotions.
@@Profile.4 I suspect it is very unstable right now.
I cleaned up my room because I was tired of looking at it. We all get sick and tired. What we need to do is get sick and tired of being sick and tired.
You’re right but if you wait for that you might be waiting a very long time
I’ve started throwing things out. Stuff can’t make a mess if I don’t have it anymore.😃
@@wilhelmvg9978 Thanks for your insight.
@@gormenfreeman499 Approach that thoughtfully. I have sometimes found that I toss out something in a moment of frustration or enthusiasm then find. I want that very item shortly after.
💯 sick and tired of being sick and tired.
The most profound thing about this little snippet of Peterson is the level of empathy in his understanding of his patients. Simply recognizing that even the simplest thing that he calls you to do can be genuinely difficult.
That's the greatest gift. Too many people out of frustration for their loves ones' loss of potential will chastise them for not being able to do simple things
His level of sympathy for his parents are not typical Western tradition, that moves people towards ultimate individualism. That deep empathy you observe in him is more accounted for by plenty other traditions that are non Christian and non modern Western.
The 1st time I worked up the courage to see a therapist, I was totally lost. It was HUGE just to be at that appointment. The therapist talked to me a bit. She could tell I was terrified. My next visit wasn't for 3 weeks. Her soft spoken homework for me, to be done in the next 3 weeks, was simply to look n the phone book for 3 numbers. Not to call. Just find 3 numbers and write them down. She understood I needed teeny tiny baby steps.
At the next visit, we discussed what kinds of things to ask when making those phone calls. Just asking for help was pretty huge. I'm so grateful for her extreme gentleness. I was lucky to get her first and not some impatient one who expected more of me than I was capable of.
what’s up fellow jerm-dawg😎🫡
@@akindelebankole8080 traditions such as?
It's so nice to see Mr. and Mrs. Peterson interact together so well. What a lovely example of hope!
Is that his wife up there?
@@ChilleDINJerseY yes it is! Nice to see after hearing about Tammy in the books😊
That's JP's daughter. Lol. Apologies for the dad joke. The first draft was really misogynistic.
I know, so good right!
What are you wearing at the moment?
@@redtobertshateshandles what?
There’s something to be said about having an entire conversation about discipline and never once mentioning anything related to punishments. Only rewards, grace, and perseverance. Love that!
Dude makes the crowd laugh than a lot of comedians. Considering his profession, it makes sense why since he's so engaging and eloquent. Beautiful storyteller.
This woman is the engine of Peterson family
I love her grace and wisdom
She’s interesting.
I love how these two are still in love. God bless the Petersons.
Thank you God for Jordan Peterson. He is wise, good and the most beautiful soul I listen to. I'm learning so much from him.
That bit about you should not breach the contract with yourself by doing more or you will fall back even deeper, because you realise in which bad place you are, really hit home.
I learned that lesson when I quit smoking. I tell anyone who wants to quit smoking is to just see if you go an hour longer then you’re used to without a smoke, then ext see if you can skip the morning cig and make it to lunch. Small goals first before the bigger goal.
Putting my room in order is actually really hard for me, my room, my house and my car are a mess. And I've been working on getting my environment in order for the last year.
One room at a time may be an effective approach.
Just clean a little more than you make each day, you'll find you will get way more efficient at it because it's easier to keep on top of it once it's done, the key is getting in a routine.
"Just because I love you doesn't mean I'm not stupid." I love this. (12:26 by the way)
Beard, no beard. I love your brain and heart. Thank you so much for what you do and for making it available to people like me.
Much love to you and yours❤️
i love how he's super intense and focused the whole way through and tammy just gently cracks one joke and he immediately breaks from the seriousness and have a genuine laugh ❤❤❤ such a great couple
Thanks for making all your content publicly available, Dr. Peterson. Appreciate you
I love it when Jordan says "What the hell do we know?" I don't see a lot of people saying this and he says this a lot
True ecstasy is obtained from delayed gratification. It’s the challenge, adventure, obstacles, journey, anticipation along with true love that is worthy of the rewards. Thank you Jordan ✝️❤️
Jordan looks hot with a beard and without a beard.
so hot
Absolutly epic. 15 minutes of listening to Jordan Peterson can utterly change your life and perspective. What an incredible man.
@@brantpowell5483 To people who live in the dark, someone shining a light around them can really make a big difference in how they view themselves and the world... its not trivial.
JP has hereditary dispositions to these things, its not like psychological intervention magically shuts these things off. Its like a chiropractor who has scoliosis, does that mean chiropractics doesn't work? Of course not. If anything JP's psychological conditions have given him more insight into how these things manifest, and how to deal with them.
Well, I assume that you USED to be able to think coherent thoughts, before posting this comment.
Of course, I might be wrong....
@@PigPeejums it's pretty easy to criticise isn't it? To sit there casting criticisms and offer no solutions.
Indeed the bedroom that I shared in my previous relationship was a microcosm of that relationship. My needs, wants and belongings were stuffed in one corner while hers took up the rest of the space.
I now understand what this meant.
🏆
He’s sooo funny 😂 such a great speaker lol God bless him and keep him humble 😊
📌 Friends, I hope that this handful of stoic quotes helps someone needing to hear them:
"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do."
-Epictetus
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
-Aristotle
"We suffer more in imagination than in reality."
-Seneca
"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts."
-Marcus Aurelius
All the best💜
I low-key love that JP says something people find funny but doesn't laugh; it's subtly intimidating but in like a good way? one of the first people i've seen do that ever; next level assertiveness
There is in some way, a form of instant gratification found in taking these micro steps toward the larger goals & their more delayed gratifications. Just learning to enjoy the anticipation & the “getting there” helps keep me motivated during the longer process.
The analogy of my life at the moment is that I'm standing in front of an open door, but there's a pile of open books blocking the way; too much to do before I can even leave the room.
So I just turn away to avoid looking at it. I feel like I have so much to work on that I just do nothing.
This is the most relatable thing I have read, you pretty much summarised what goes on in my head for a while now. It's the bitter feeling that comes with accountability. When you know that you have responsibility for the circumstances that you're in, and you want so desperately to get out of them and be the best version of yourself you can possibly be, you're also always reminded that the reason you have so many obstacles is also you.
As much as there's feelings of drive and determination, they get completely outweighed by my own shame, disappointment and anger for allowing myself to reach this leve of failure when I should've and could've done better. It gets so difficult to envision a future version of myself winning because all I know and understand is losing. It's like you gotta mow the lawn, but the lawn is the size of the whole neighborhood and the only tool you can use to get the job done are scissors. It's much easier to feel defeated knowing it'll take you years then to start mowing bit by bit.
Sorry for the tangent, my situation might be very different to yours, but I just wanted you and others to know there's someone out there who understands those internal struggles you were talking about. I don't have any solutions clearly, but I hope one day we all clear those books out the way and leave the rooms that we trapped ourselves in.
@@p1reviews789 It always helps to vent once in a while. The scissors example is relatable too; once you see how big of a challenge/job it is, you'd rather just stay in your "safe zone."
I’ve been pushing that rock up that hill, for it to fall down again, for around 26 years. I’m 36. Thank you Dr Peterson for this step by step, really 😭
This should be transcribed into a teachable class practicum. Relationship and Life Skills. Start in 1st grade.
Right time. Right place. Thank you.
My room is clean my house needs work lmao 🤣 I love this motivation
I love Jordan peterson and his family
God bless you all.
The cool thing about this advice is that you can take "your room" to be any domain where you have some responsibility. Your house, your yard, your workstation, even abstract things like your family or your community. Work from the inside out.
I love how he describes the snowball effect in relationship to goals. Awesome!
This conversation demonstrates an extraordinary level of empathy, which is something I should really work on.
Imagine being able to have those hard, mature conversations with your partner!
I have learned from this one that that is something I value more than i could have imagined. It is a rare quality but so vital
The very first thing i organized was my studio then my tool box and at last my bedroom.
So excited by all this new pro style HD live content you are putting out. Thanks very much for sharing this with all of us us man ❤
As a married man. He honestly hit it on the nail in this one once he hit the bedroom topic.
I started fucking low by just walking outside 30 minutes everyday. And with progression, I'm now running 30 kms a week, weight lifting, 3-4 times a week and keeping my own environnement organised. That in less than 1 year.
Taking control of you life is about consistency. I've had many "drink too much one night", "don't care about cardio for a couple days" or "fuck my organization", but I get back on track because I gave myself a standard, and I make it a mission to match it.
Right now, i'm fighting back against cigarettes, I managed to quit. 2 full months, nothings, but it came back, told myself some lie about "just here and then" and I know I have to be hard about it.
I've been looking for anti procrastination videos today, this is a nice surprise. My life is in almost complete shambles due to past traumas and i've been using a game and other things as escapism. I messed up my education and career, lost my community and a girl i was in relationship with kinda gave up on me. I feel like giving up on my future but also know it's not truly what i want. I don't know.
Just start with cleaning your room, and then step by step, you can begin moving toward the life you really want. Learn & grow from your mistakes. There will be another girl, or maybe the other one will circle back. Put the game down and start with your room. :)
Never too late to start again. Look for small gains, then they snowball quickly into monumental changes.
Keep watching Peterson and maybe David Goggins and they’ll light a fire right up your behind.
You’re at the right moment, when things are so low you decide it’s time for change.
The first step is to acknowledge you’re not using your full potential.
Good
Now you have an opportunity to bounce back like the hero of your story.
You are not alone. I know you feel it, because I do too. I hope you fare better than I
He is always Clever and gives Great Advice
What a couple, such a respect & love together, gosh♥, much grattitude & respect from Belgium
I needed to hear this today. My bedroom is empty now, like my bed, it gets cold and lonely... but it beats the hell out of the toxic marriage I left 🧘🏻♀️
Knowing you need help and watching JP videos is a great start.
Your work is a gift for humanity. My dearest regards from Chile 🇨🇱
God bless You Dr.Peterson
Thank you for sharing wisdom and knowledge. God bless you, shine his face on you, and give you peace.
ive been laughing now for 10 minutes because that 30 year old jumping over the vacuum cleaner for a whole week
Honestly that (was) so me
@@alvareo92 hahaha…love that
Mine was sitting in my living room last week for 4 days 😂
I sincerely do have a love for JP. He has given me guidance that I receive like a daughter from her father and it means so so much to me.
I’m so grateful for you Dr Peterson. God bless you ❤
If people could just slow down, I think they would break the habit of being in a rush for anything.
Thanks, Dr. Peterson. Needed this today.
So extremely well thought out and expressed.
This hits a little close to home. As from the last year and a half after completing my bachelor degree after 7 years I was very lost, and my pre-existing physical and mental conditions took a spiral downhill. But, for the last year and 7 months I have been trying to change that and it has been an incredibly slow process. There is also, a lot of confusion, self-doubt and feelings of loss that go along with it. While I am not there yet steps have been taken.
He is so knowledgeable and it makes me addicted to his speech 💜😁
"you look good without a beard dear" so perfectly placed
I am so grateful for you and these videos.
Extremely helpful and insightful for life
Agree about the goals, difficult to extract them from the mess of your mind.
That is the absolute perfect question for anybody 40 and younger.
I find my vocabulary growing exponentially with Mr. Peterson lectures.❤ Very kind. Thanks
it's crazy to me that in years of paying for therapy, i never heard advice like this.
I have been cleaning up my room for a long time now, not quite finished yet, but getting there. the "micro steps"make a goal achievable. I started training for a marathon, it works just the same, start small but disciplined, a little strength and flexibility training, running a few hours every week etc.
My bedroom is fantastic. It has elements of nature, sometimes. Messy pile of clothes, sometimes colour coordinated clothing, a slightly messy make up drawer- but it works. I agree the bedroom is the most difficult to tidy up- esp when you are living in a family home with inherited history. Great talk. I love cleaning my room. It’s a new slate every time I do, the energy shifts .
Nothing to lose from trying...thanks! 😉👍♥️
I stopped halfway...thanks professor, it's time to go past clean into beautiful. You're right it's a fractal of the entire universe, it's there all in the room, why couldn't i see it...the whole story of my life is written here...I can perfect the world myself, the world, here in this room. You are very wise jordan it's an honor to serve with you.
I love you guys so much. Praise be to the Lord Jesus Christ for the work you do, and all that He has revealed to me through it. Straight up, ‘thank you’ doesn’t come anywhere close to the amount of gratitude I have, for it is changing my life for the better exponentially. All things through Christ the Lord, I am sincerely greatful. God bless.
Problem is we all think we'll live forever, we are conscious of our finite lives but we don't comprehend the concept of life, so we look into the future for happiness and gratification whilst ignoring what matters, right here right now.
Damn, this man knows me without even knowing me 😂😂😂😂
So sweet to see your wonderful wife by your side. Sending my best wishes. ❤❤❤
"Just because I love you doesn't mean I'm not stupid" - Jordan Peterson at 12:25 for real Mr.Peterson. Same.
You have such a peaceful charming way of talking to people's, it's not nice.
God bless you, JP.
I think this video will help me get rid and let go of the old, unused stuff one step at a time. Thank you
Truly fascinating, thank you!!!
i also give small tasks to myself like i'm my own therapist when i feel myself getting depressed and dysfunctional. Sometimes i really cant do anything. i order myself step by step as little as possible. Starting low is very helpful.
Blessings family ✝️ !!
Very eye opening for me speech!!
Embroadening one
This connects to what he said about push and pull push yourself as far you’ll allow then back off for a bit then push again and repeats eventually you’ll find yourself past your limits and you won’t even realize it
I Loved watching you here in Sydney. This was a fantastic talk.
This could be the single most important video I've ever watched. Today I make a change. Appreciate this so much Dr Peterson, thank you.
7:15am Sunday 2nd April 2023.
John.
How's things now?
@@greenonions23 I would say, heading the right direction 👍
@@KonJonnorMusic 👍👍
This is all such fantastic advice!
I could listen to her ask questions forever.
So enjoy listening to you sir .
Patience, it is the virtue of patience , which is the tool one needs to grab, to delay gratification students.
And, it is developed by not necessarily picking the easiest way.
It is developed through tackling things that are more challenging to accomplish or achieve.
When I moved to Peterborough, I spent the decade there, living without the internet.
That was to instil and develop patience.
Glad I did that in hindsight . Because immediately after, CoVid came into being. And I was prepared for it and got through it relatively unaffected because of the virtue, of patience.
Don't opt for sloppy and don't necessarily "cherry pick" and it will manifest.
Oh my gosh I totally get it. That's so so true. My relationship is exactly the way my bedroom is. Wow. I'm so unorganized, have all the dogs in there, have clothes around, and, I get it.
1:47 How to cure procrastination, start
-start by fragmenting the thing you are delaying into a smaller (more bite-sized) task that you can immediately act on and then do the next slightly larger thing and get the snowball rolling.
-when you're done for the day make sure you don't completely finish a task so that the next day you have something bite-sized to get the ball rolling as well.
6:53|7:19|7:25|8:48|9:58 It's one and the same, it's not trivial, start with the smallest step/task, and get the snowball rolling (not with an avalanche but with a snowflake)
Thanks Jordan & Mrs.!!!
👍👍😁🙏✨✨✨
I was not expecting her to say that about the beard! She is quick witted
Thank you so much for the wonderful advice I love all your videos
A small step becomes a revelation & a motivation
yes, my room is in order...thank god...and JP
The FIRST thing you learn in any institution that stresses discipline for example the military or even some prison institutions is MAKE YOUR BED EVERY MORNING. You will be amazed at the structure that follows. QUAERITE LUX ET SEMPER AVANTI! 🙏🏻
God send you long before you know it. Blessings
Psychologists can be really amazing because they talk about things no one else does
And it feels so Satisfying
It's so valuable information.
So much fire in this clip 🎯🔥
I was just asked why I listen to content like this all the time, for apparently it doesn’t give my brain time for a break… touché….so now it is time to analyze my consumption to see if I’m just bingeing or if I am actually taking action and progressing… and I think I have my moments where I just feel good focusing on my improvement even when I don’t want to follow thru, but now I have to accept that my consumption is obvious and my progress is not as obvious or I wouldn’t be have been asked that question… 😅 seems credible coming from someone who hasn’t cleaned their house in the 8 years they have lived in it.. but who am I to judge? Oh I’m someone who doesn’t want to live that way… well then I will do the honors outta love but just wait til I get my shit together… I wont just pull scarves out, I’ll pick tumblers underwater with my arms bound. Thanks Doc!
thanks you for sharing