Can I Tolerate The Agony Of Benzo Damage?
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- čas přidán 6. 07. 2023
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2 years off Xanax. Have been in a window for months now, living life pretty normally without too much difficulty, I thought the waves were finally over and I considered myself close to healed. A few days ago I got hit with a wave of heavy brain fog, head tension, feeling weak, flushes, racing heart beat and bad anxiety. I can’t even remember my previous waves being this bad, I’m certainly much better than I was a year ago and I hope the next window will be even better than the last, and hopefully won’t hit another wave like this again, I’ve seen some people say their final wave before considering themselves healed was the worst, but everyone is different. I will keep pushing forward.
I know it’s so frustrating and scary when waves happen years out but it’s not uncommon. I definitely had them and my last one was around 5 years out, after being stung by fire ants of all things!
@@philosophicalfishing thanks for the reply Dan. It’s good to get some reassurance! :)
2019 I lost my daughters my ex was cheating on me . I gave him custody as I’m coming off benzodiazepines. My ex treated me as a drug addict he has no idea I’ve lost soo much. He has alienated my daughters from me it’s been an absolute nightmare.I’m back at my parents I don’t know how to come back from this.( sorry for my negativity and emotion)
Hiya, Sis. Never sorry Here, Katrina.
It’s Us. ❤
What you expressed here, deep sadness and frustration and pain? Those aren’t negative emotions, K, they are necessary. Remind yourself of that distinction, love. You have plenty of reasons to feel all that you do at this moment in time.
If I could help ease your suffering even a drop, I would. ❤
ps: I had to go home to be cared for my 80 year old mother for months. Then my brother had to leave his lovely life and fly to stay with me for weeks on end. Then, as I was too scared to be on my own still, I returned to his home and he cared for me there for almost 2 months. I’ve said here and out loud that this medication, this disgraceful Situation, does much to “humble” us.
Sis? That word doesn’t come close. How about humiliates?
Helplessness…My dear therapist I saw for one year-twice a week-after my taper, shared his thoughts that there is no worse, worse feeling than feeling…helpless.
The helplessness turned into humiliation and that feeling? I cannot live feeling it. Not that.
I won’t, Sis. ❤
I jumped off diazepam on July 4th after around a year of tapering. They say it takes 8 days for the medication to get out of your bloodstream. I’m feeling terrible today, like I’m crawling out of my skin, like I can’t be in my own company but I have no one to be with. To say it’s uncomfortable would be an understatement. Thanks for the video Dan. At least I know I’m not alone.
@@evanm6804Evan, hi. How are you doing? I remember how the very very “early” daze 🥹 felt.
Brutal. You’ve made The Decision are
and are seeing it through; that’s remarkable and so very courageous. Sending you a big hug today. Let’s stay the course. Keep breathing; It’s temporary. I promise.♥️
Yea I need to practice being more present and accept what is happening, but it is soooo difficult to do. Sometimes my intrusive thoughts get me for example today. I wrote down "I am proud of myself being 1 year sober and I am one day closer to healing on my bathroom mirror". This is to remind me to go easy on myself and accept what I have accomplished. I still have trouble feeling positive emotions for things or it comes and goes. I am not at the point yet of feeling joy out of life consistently, but I am so darn close it is frustrating.
I have come a long way even though I have trouble recognizing it. I still feel I need to hear or want to hear I am on the right track almost daily. I am in the process of learning how to love myself and is rather difficult when I have a hard time seeing myself. When I hear I am doing well from people I respect it means the world to me right now.
Things I want out of this benzo journey nightmare: Mental strength/confidence so I can live life to the fullest and pursue my dreams. Maybe I needed this nightmare to happen to me and on the other side is what I have always been looking for. Happiness/Strength/Confidence/Love and it will be earned.
What a blessing to of found great friends in this community. Can't imagine doing this process alone.
Bob
So thankful to have gotten to know you, Bob. We all wish you the best and getting to see you recover from this inspires me!
Never alone, B. Never. ❤
@@philosophicalfishing Ditto
@@donna6165 You are the definition of Awesome
Donna Awesome
@@bobbobarino6213 😭 Needed this, B. I’ll receive it with grace and love and hold your kindness close today. ♥️
Such great advice about accepting what is. Thank you, Dan! I hope things have calmed down for you ❤️
The more we fight things, the more we’re stuck with them.
I like listening to- you seem real!
Thank you for watching! 🙏🏻
Hi Dan. New sub after watching your YT video with Dr. Josef. 20 years of 15 mg Valium to cope with the constant exhaustion of international travel and the stress of being deployed to hot war zones in the ME and now Africa. I have always said i would wait until I retire before I start to taper. Next month I will retire, move back to the states and seek help from a specialist who understands addiction. Ive run out of V many times over the years in the worst places and just had to tough it out until I could get back to a US doctor who was somehow able the past 5 years to get the state to agree to let me get 180 tab prescriptions, rather than monthly, to help match my 6 month deployments. I wonder if the repeated cold turkeys have cause permanent brain damage?
Im glad I found your channel and have hope I will be successful getting off this evil med. Amazing how powerful one yellow tablet can be. Microtapering will be my only solution.
Thank you for all you are doing to help the millions of us who want off these things.
Thanks for sharing part of your journey and I can only imagine what you experienced. Good luck on your next endeavor getting off Valium and I wish you the best. Feel free to keep us up to date, if you wish. ✌🏻
I know my anxiety that put me on Benzos was from trauma but the anxiety I’m having now is pure benzo withdrawal and I can’t control it or find a purpose for it
A very helpful video Dan. Thank you , once again.😊❤
Hello, Julie. ❤
“What we resist, persists.”
What a powerful message, Dan. Allowing FIRST, then accepting.
Why me becomes why not me?
It is only ever Now.
Fight or try to deny the Present with the “if-onlies” and the suffering will take us under. We appreciate you, brother. Your travels did you good; you are the picture of good health. ❤
Awesome as usual Donna. I am fighting Donna and am getting there slowly. I used to beat myself up so bad about what you resist persists because I feel benzos held me back and I used to really beat myself up about this as if I couldn't handle things etc. This is slowly changing and one day Donna one day I am going to wake up/currently in the process of it.
What a blessing to have friends on the other side. Will be joining you soon in the near future.
Have a great night
Much Love Bob
@@bobbobarino6213 We are trying our very best, B.
My sleep has been all over the place and not terribly restorative in the last month, :-/ so I’ve needed to be kinder to myself too, Bob. 🥹 And practice continued patience with this process. I am deeply grateful for this Space. And you. ♥️
Thanks, Donna! The lessons you pointed out have certainly been learned the hard way, and perhaps the only way they could have learned and integrated into my life was by going through benzo damage. It was hell, but thankful for it now. I often wonder if I could simply learn some other way, but alas, maybe im too hard-headed.
I'm down to 3mg of Valium after 8 and a half months 😊❤.... Thanks Dan 4 inspiring us 🇺🇸 ❤
thats is awesome congrats
Phenomenal progress, strong sister. 💪🏻♥️🙏🏻
Yes! I can’t wait until the day you tell us that you’re completely off. One day at a time. Keep trucking!
Tina : ♥️ 🙏🏻 💪🏻
My anxiety is chemical anxiety, or fear, how can you get comfortable with a chemical anxiety verses your normal anxiety. The chemical causes my anxiety so how does that work, I understand facing your fears, but my fear comes from a chemical so how do I make that work, no matter what I face with chemical fear it won’t go away, but if it were just fear from having typical anxiety you can face your fear and eventually it will go away. So I’m not sure how to accept it, but I want to learn.
I was doing well until I wasn’t…a little food with msg and now I’m right back into it. Loud tinnitus, nerve pain radiating down my arms, and my stomach has been turned upside down. I’m 4 months off of Ativan and it feels like day 1 all over again. I’m trying to be patient, but right now, I’m just discouraged.
Hey- I’ve been there. One time I was stung by fire ants which have a nerve poison in them and was sent into a huge wave at 5 years off! Be patient with yourself as these things are part of the process. I know it’s discouraging and it sucks but it will pass. I’m sorry to hear about this.
@@user-bz4bn8dz9udid it end?
I doubled my body weight in going off adderall, cymbalta, and xanax. It's very difficult accepting that. I just past my 1 year mark off everything. I'm still weak and have very bad muscle tension in my neck. I just signed up for physical therapy but I skipped my first appointment yesterday. I felt too weak to leave the house. It's so hard dealing with this while only having enough money on hand to last a few more months. My family has spent so much on me, I hate to keep begging for more financial support.
Michael, hello. Reading your reality hurts my heart; I’m so very sorry. For you, for Us.
I am actually relieved you mentioned this; I too gained so much weight in my first year after my taper. Tall and naturally lean; the weight gain stunned and confused me. And was so uncomfortable. I now know what benzos do to our metabolism and digestive system. 😔 It wreaks havoc and takes time for things to settle “back in.”
I bet, like my experience, once your system gets back to baseline, you feel physically well enough to take walks and eventually exercise; the weight will come off.
Having people we can count on in this Fight for our lives, body/mind/spirit cannot be taken lightly or for granted, for sure. You’re quite fortunate. People must REALLY love and have faith in us to see us through this awake Nightmare, doing as much or as little as they can.
I wish I could help ease your suffering, Michael.
Sending you positive, healing Energy and a big hug today; it’s the little I can do. ❤
@@donna6165 Thank you so much for your kind words of understanding and positive thoughts. It really means a lot. I am committed to getting through this and truly believe I will thrive once again. Hope you have a nice weekend and thanks again for your kind words.
@@michaeljlink I am Here, friend. You are committed. I feel this truth, Michael. Through your words.
You do not have to thank me, how could I not respond to you today?
But, I shall receive your gratitude and hold it close. It will fortify me.
Like Dan, I feel a deep moral obligation, brother. To be any inkling of hope and support to you and our Others.
This is a devastating, life-altering situation we find ourselves in that we never ever ever would have chosen.
We had LIVES.
We had PEOPLE.
Who else? Who else but those with direct experience who have suffered, my God, like you are yet never lost faith ( somehow) to get to the Finish Line: Benzo free and putting the pieces of our shattered lives together. Looking around to see who’s still…left. 🙏🏻
PF is a healing space where we can love and care for one another. No matter how near or far, Michael, we breathe Together. ♥️
@@michaeljlink Thank you for the kind wishes for my day. After a 4 days stretch of very little restorative sleep (😓), I promise to try my best.
Heading out for a walk. The Universe gifted me with a good sleep last night-omg, Amen and Hallelujah, Michael. One breath, one step, one improved night’s rest at a time. 😉
We are healing. ♥️
I understand your pain I came off adderall, hydrocodone/percocet, and valium plus other things. One year off as well you are not alone brother.
You do seem depressed and about to cry while you are talking about your ordeal. I'm not sure how I would feel about the dieing of major family members, I was a crying mess back when I coped with 2 in one year. In fact, I was still a hot mess for about a year and a half and it got dramatically different. I was on 4 mg Clonazepam (and other stuff) for 18 years and quit abruptly. Clean still, somehow, no drugs or therapy for what I have. Looked at the time of cessation for a treatment center and there just wasn't anything. Got over 2 years in now...
You were on if the people that helped me the most without even meeting me. I had several CZcams favorites and I watched all your videos repeatedly at that time, along with the others in that category. I love you for what you did for me then❤ Keep on doing it you have no idea how many people aren't commenting that you helped too!!!Depression and grief can kill you, you can only deny it for so long. You for real, must take care of yourself
Thank so much Shauna. It’s comments like this that come through and help me remember why I’m doing this in the first place. Congratulations on 2 years clean. It’s no easy feat for anyone- especially those of us who’ve gone through benzo damage.
❤❤❤❤❤
I cold turkeyed xanax in jail recently. Was in there for 30 days, when i got released i was still in withdrawal and got back on. Do you think i kindled myself?
I don’t know, it’s possible you could have. I’ve done it myself and had no idea. Sorry you’ve had to go through this.
Hi Dan did you have high blood pressure and did you take medcation
Hey Kevin- my blood pressure has always run on the low side naturally but I had high heart rate intermittently where it just pounded like crazy in my chest. I also was on propranolol for a few years post benzos.
Did u feel pain in ur shoulder in withdrawal please answer
Pain everywhere is not uncommon
@@kellyjofrey4192my friend I m taking metapralol succinate 75 mg and ivabradine for fast heart rate but last three days I m feeling mild pain in left shoulder healed 86 or 87 percent.835 days off.
I didn’t have shoulder pain from benzo withdrawal but I did get shoulder pain from tearing my rotator cuff while working out.
@@philosophicalfishing thanks for reply
Namaste and a big hug to you, Ramesh. ❤
Danny! You need to smile more!
What symptoms of your have persisted to this day? How long were you on benzos?
Hi! I was on benzos for about 13 years. My most persistent symptoms are benzo belly and some residual anxiety.
Thanks. How about tinnitus?
@@kritikos8877 I have tinnitus intermittently too. It’s very mild now, but it was worse the first year off benzos.
How would you recommend someone get off these after 3 months of use?
Your videos seem to flicker. Is it just me?
Hi, Jonny. Never noticed this…it may be you lol 😅
Hey Jonny- you’re not losing your mind, sometimes they do flicker. When the sun is lower in the sky behind the blinds in the background it does some strange things with my lighting. I’m still trying to dial that in so hopefully in future videos I won’t have that issue. 😂