"WHAT DO GUYS LOOK FOR IN GIRLS?" - Baraka Boys Podcast (Season 2, Ep.7)
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- čas přidán 13. 02. 2020
- The relationship between guys and girls is one of the hottest topics on the Muslim scene, with every scholar, speaker, and influencer coming out with their own hot take. But how often do we get to honestly discuss what guys look for in girls? In this episode we discuss what matters most when looking for a partner and how we each prioritise different qualities.
This season we're taking the podcast to a whole new level. You can watch this episode over on the brand new Baraka Boys CZcams channel. The podcast is also now available as an audio podcast on Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.
For more news and updates, you can find us on:
Instagram: @barakaboys
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Podbean: barakaboys.podbean.com/
I think Khāled is the most mature of all of these guys. I feel like he went through a phase of life that made him realise that looks ain’t all it for a successful marriage. It’s deeper than that. The deep convos, knowledge, mutual interest & values. I really admire his maturity! My respect goes to you Khāled ! ✊🏽🤍
I'm a guy but the toxic masculinity emmenating in the room when you're talking about women time wasting is hard to watch. This episode was a bad idea because it wasn't a balanced conversation. Tbh only Khaled was speaking objectively. Go back to the drawing board with this one boys😐
Yes!
Spot on brother.
And no it’s not the girl who talks to 100 guys before she picks Mr Right it’s the Man that does that.
Faisal speaks in cursive. Words just flow so poetically mashAllah.
I agree he is my favorite
As much as I love this podcast series, sometimes its quite clear that they're missing actual woman's perspective. Often they'll talk about how girls feel or what girls think when really "girls" are not one whole homogeneous group.
The actual idea that these guys think women lead men on more than men do women is ridiculous. Its not a competition to pitch genders against one another. I think its clear there was a lot of anecdotal evidence thrown around which didn't actually amount to much reason.
Some parts of these episodes are difficult to watch.
I mean... it is called "Baraka BOYS". You're here for the male perspective, clearly.
htk thank you!!
htk yes that’s a given. This podcast is to show their perspective BUT it lacks understanding from a woman’s view. They should be able to look at the whole picture and not just from one side.
Atifa Batul Yakoob That’s why they’re men innit, allow them. Wouldn’t expect women to fully understand a man’s perspective either. It goes both ways. I’m sure there’s a woman’s podcast covering the same topics for y’all.
Ata Haee Yeah thats true, it’s not a bad thing, just something missing. I still love their discussions lmao
why didn't anyone reference deen or attributes related to a practicing Muslim women, I don't understand...
Yasameen Mazloom agreed, where was the concern for how a woman would be as a mother? As a daughter in law? As a ride or die when things get tough? it was surface level, perhaps they ran out of time or something..
Yasameen Mazloom because boring
Umar.. dude.. as much as I love you as a bro in Islam.. please humble yourself
Also, 44:00 isn't just a girl thing btw. I'm a girl and this happened to me. Leading others on is what *selfish* people do, regardless of their gender.
I was speaking to a guy who did exactly what Briggs said. He kept me there - stalled, just for the attention, waiting until a better girl could come along.
Had I not come to my senses and walked away, who knows how long it would have carried on for.
Definately crushed my self-esteem :/
But yeah back to Briggs' point, it probably *seems* like girls do it more bc we're the ones who are approached by guys more, rather than vice versa. So it's not necessarily bc girls are more egotistical or self-centered than guys - it's simply because they (girls) have more chance/room/opportunity to do stuff like that, so they do.
Give any human (regardless of their race/gender etc) a chance to feed their ego and watch them go for it.
IMO Khaled spoke the most sense out of everyone in this podcast, due to his open-mindedness and lack of prejudice
Any partner who rates him or herself better than their other is heading for problems....be humble and modest, as everything we have is from Allah's blessings. Also guys...marriage evolves and we can't control everything so to some degree trust the process, and seek help from Allah - the controller of all affairs.
😐 I don’t know what girls you know but majority of women ain’t how you describing. Maybe you should stop searching for girls on Instagram. Majority of these brothers don’t want good respectable religious women they want the bad tings(as they say) with their turbans and makeup on Instagram and then they complain.
I agree smh
What's the link between looks (wearing a turban and makeup) and religiosity? That's so 2012... we should stop cussing other women to elevate ourselves. We are not competing for men. We are not competing at all. Everybody has their own maktoub. IG is not the problem, the problem is that we as women should start a real sincere conversation on how serving we are towards what men want from us.
Amrane Miriam to believe there’s no link between deeds and religiosity is naive to say the least. Muslim women have a code of dress to follow when in the public eye. Of course a woman could be cake faced and showing her curves off in the latest ASOS “modest fashion”, and still be a top Muslimah behind closed doors, but that doesn’t negate the sins she commits in public by making a display of herself. It’s interesting that we judge men by the deeds when in public and give them NO slack, but women can do whatever they want, and we’re meant to assume she’s a waliya of Allah, otherwise we’re “cussing” other women. I love us women, but we need to be honest with ourselves.
Take care of your own life and leave what's out of your control. Allah covers your sins, why talking about other people's sins?
Amrane Miriam so we’re not allowed to talk about sins. Allah and His messenger disagree. Talk to management sis.
From everyone Khaled is the only one that talks sense. I mean what the guy is more ready than the woman?? It’s the other way round as the woman matures earlier than a man. I feel woman tend to prefer older guys as men in there early twenties are just not matured properly for marriage
PLEASE! Why do some men think they’re perfect and put all the blame on the woman, admit it rather than a woman looking at 10 men in a row it’s firstly the man that does that not the woman. Also you seem to act as though us women should be grateful that we were chosen to be a potential!?? I mean why!
Briggs and faisal are so knowledgeable. They speak very well and explain their points from a mature level.
With Khaled's level of maturity, he would be suited to a mature & experienced women, that gives him space for his personal growth.
@Adashelby i guess that's for Khaled to answer!
Pretty sure he's already married no? I saw a vlog of his ages ago where his wife was speaking. Unless they're divorced now
This discussion would have been tip top tip with some girls....or a therapist😂
best podcast gave me great insight mashallah on what’s important in a relationship
I'm glad Faisal's back !
I truly appreciate the time and effort you all put into these discussions. However, I do believe that it is very important to be a little objective when it comes to topics such as this one in order to have more nuanced conversations that aren't generalizing an entire gender based only on personal experiences. I felt as though some of you painted women as some wildly superficial beings that have malicious intentions when it comes to talking with men by 'wasting their time' when the vast majority of women are multidimensional and value their moral standards. I mean, the entire episode started off by mentioning what each one of you looked for in women which set a superficial precedent for the rest of the conversation. And don't even get me started on the whole 'patriarchy is dead' statement...
How is man describing girls as 'BAD'? Because pious, potential wifey would not be looking 'BAD' on road!
Kinda lost on perspective there.
Usually enjoy the Baraka Boys podcast, this was not one of them. A huge dose of humility and maturity is missing. Faisal needs so much more speaking time, his grounded yet spiritual perspective really tempers the toxic masculinity exuded by the boys sometimes.
The constant reference to Bad Tings tells everybody everything about what these men are actually looking for. Someone who looks good and isn’t really that religiously practising (if a woman is covering properly, she’s not going to catch attention like that).
I hope religious sisters aren’t disheartened by this discussion - there are so many lovely men out there who appreciate your dedication to the diin. Be a “Bad Ting” behind closed doors with your husband.
It's so toxic hearing these people talk about "bad tings." Clearly looking for half naked women on the gram and not genuine muslimahs. Almost as if beauty and deen are 2 incompatible things. Watch freshly grounded instead, much more deen focused and full of maturity
Must defo agree, I am looking in deen more than looks. search for ahmad ibn hanbals story when it comes to marriage, he did marry the righteous daughter who in 20 years did not make him upset or sad. Just go with deen, it is also good if you go with deen cause she knows she can not refuse sleeping with you xD. Just kidding but go with deen and everyth will be good inshallah
Faisal and Briggs are my fav's here.
BACK AT IT AGAIN
Interesting conversation. I do wonder, though, whether it is appropriate to confess publicly one's prior (sinful) indulgences. May Allah forgive us our pasta, and may those pasts that need forgiving remain in the past. Amen.
Brother faisal, sooo eloquent
Mashallah
Marah Elhassan love him his opinions are always the best and most intelligent and inclusive of many perspective
I could listen to him talk for hours. His perspectives are so interesting
Sorry but in reality there’s more things a woman needs to look into a spouse fir rather than the man, hence why she’s more fussy as she’s putting her life in this guy. A man only needs to care about the looks whereas a woman looks for looks, job, family man, height etc..
Also islam emphasises on deen to be the most attractive feature for marriage.
A beautiful woman (without status) who's a crack head aint gona work.
A woman with status but is unattractive aint gona work.
A woman with deen and looks is key...the intellectual compatibility will come through deen and Allah's blessings.
Marry someone who is close to Allah so you both can get to jannah.
@NXVI i totally agree...when men are only fixated on outer beauty, it would be difficult for them to hold down a honourable spouse who will inevitably age gracefully in time, but still have her deen as the most ardent aspect of her being.
@NXVI Jzk A for your kind thoughts and duas. May you be granted with more than that! !Ameen.
@NXVI sorry i also forgot to add to ur point...
In reality, the Wudu illuminates the face and exudes genuine beauty! Unfortunately girls with make up and false bits find it troublesome to do wudu as it ruins their effort and the fresh look.
Also guys, we missed some of your comments as you were talking over each other!
I support Khaled in that we do not need to take a long time to get married, find what is important to u and in islam, then do isthakara, trust in Allah and work at it.
Need more podcasts while I self isolate. I love these!
Thank you Baye Niass
sometimes simplicity is better, sometimes these hyper progressive people push limits too far, nothing wrong with marrying a women or man who simply wants to fulfill basic desires, halal household with halal children, sometimes people just ask for too much and never end up happpy
Please talk about suicide in Islam. If we are depressed and fed up can we kill ourselves? Is God still able to forgive someone who ends their life? Please talk about this because no one else really does.
czcams.com/video/zi4vqvtykk0/video.html . They talked about depression and mental health in this episode. They didn't really talk about God's forgiveness in relation to suicide per se. Suicide is forbidden in Islam though. Also, if you wanna talk more about this, you can contact me on twitter @nmatee_abdul. My DMs are open.
Please go watch honest tea talk the talk about depression
Please seek help in different area. Spiritual, emotional, psychological . Speak to other who understand about depression. Remember Allah knows what you are going through. May be he wants to raise your status through this hardship.
Please seek Help 💛
@Muqadas Thank you but I just want to give up now. There really is no reason to continue living. It is all hopeless.
Can someone please clarify if Khaled is married? In the podcast they only mention that Briggs is married so that was an important note to keep in mind when he was sharing his thoughts on the topic. So it would be interesting to know if Khaled's perspective comes from his status as a single Muslim man or a married Muslim man like Briggs.
He was married but I believe he’s divorced now
I liked this video calm down ppl .I swear it's like the internet doesnt want people to have opinions these days
Momodou is us. We are Momodou!
This ain’t it this ain’t it !
There was a certain level of maturity missing from this podcast
How can y’all call yourselves ”baraka boys” when y’all talk like this and work on music etc. Don’t chase clout, deen before dunya
Allow it bruv
Asalam baraka boys le concepte et thème de vos émissions sont très intéressant mais s’ils vous plait est ce que vous pouvez pas le sous-titré ?
Un mari viendra compléter la moitié de ta foi !
Un petit ami viendra détruire tout ce que tu as acquis religieusement.
Les hommes bâtissent des foyers, les gamins ne sont que de passage et souvent brisent des cœurs.
Alors réfléchis, un homme pieux voudra le meilleur pour toi et te tirera vers le haut, un petit ami te fera faire n'importe quoi, et te tirera avec lui vers le bas.
Mieux vaut être seul dans le hallal qu'à deux dans le haram.
L'ISLAM AUDJOURDHUI ET L'ISLAM TOUJOURS INCHAALLAH ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️.
Et un bon mari et une bonne femme ( tanef ) on le choisis mes sœurs mes frères
Nous avons le droit de choisir nos mari ,
Comme ils nous choisissent aussi
Fi amanilah 🙏🙏 mon point de vue sur ce que j’ai compris de votre thème
Can you guys get mics for everyone. Plz
Yes
We need just Khalid, too many opinions it's hard to listen
A girl who is divorced is not seen similarly to a guy who is divorced.
Umar may come off as arrogant but he speaks what some of us think .
Faisal I feel is a brother who took some time to introspect.
All in all Mashallah .
Keep the conversation going .
So some of us think we're the complete package? Loool. And by whose standards exactly? Because even if a man had it all, arrogance alone is enough to put good women off.
The only type of people who gravitate towards that sort of energy, are other arrogant people or shallow people.
Also, nothing happens without Allah's will. Therefore you can "have it all", but if Allah decrees for you to not ever get married - guess what - you ain't gonna get married. It's as simple as that. So thinking of yourself as having everything to offer in a marriage/relationship whilst seeing other ppl (who you assume to be of a 'lower' calibre to you) get married, can acc eventually turn you into a bitter person.
There are so many reasons why humility is so important to our deen and these are just some.
Lastly, this is in no way at all a diss to umar but you can tell what type of social circle he was in before he started practising Islam. He wasn't around good people at all. Let alone good women. His experiences have left him with opinions that are not necessarily a true depiction of reality.
No matter how 'good looking' or 'muscly' or how much fame or money or posh cars you have, an actual *good* woman will not care about ANY of that. She will instead look at how loyal and hardworking, protective, honest, patient, decent a man is. She will look at how respectful he is towards females etc. THOSE are the qualities that will attract a good hearted woman. So boasting about having anything else is pointless - cos it's just superficial.
Hang around with Muslim guys who have (genuinely) and sincerely practised Islam from a young age; through adolescence and up into adulthood. You will notice they have this innocence and purity about them that other muslim men just don't have. Same goes for the practising females.
I don't think Umar has been in the company of those types of females. The pure-hearted type. If he did, he would have been more open-minded and less brash when talking about women & his experiences with them.
@@bayleaf7588 subhanAllah could not have put it any better
But divorce isn’t like upon in our faith, yes Allah has given us a right to do so. However, it shouldn’t be such an easy option...
I agree! There is a lot of stigma. Also, the fact that they are glorifying that just marry someone and if you don’t click, divorce them is very Disgusting. Our ummah is falling and apart and failed marriages are on the rise, with all these instagram and CZcams know it’s all’s giving their two bit say..
@Adashelby instagram models don't even have instagram model looks 😂 a a lot of dudes will be in for a rude awakening one day, and it won't be pretty.
No pun intended* 😅
@Adashelby lol they are, but what you see is not real. Anyone can look like that. Many IG models are also transgender .. another point men fail take into consideration ..
Foolish for suggesting anyone rush into marriage, then work on things later. It's easier to take a while and get married to the right person, than to get divorced. Divorce, even though permissable is one of the most disliked things in Islam
Has someone told these brothers that dating is haram and having friendships with opposite gender is haram. What kind of example are they setting?
41:30 ok I have to comment again. It seems like if a girl is ready to get married, it's right for her to look and see multiple people and consider who is best for her. Same for the brothers. If you are "getting to know" someone for a long time, isn't that dating? And dating comes with a whole heap of issues tied to "in love" like getting into zina, naivety, and manipulation. Weighing your options seems smarter because you don't have strong ties to any of the women/men. It's maybe better Islamically?
Umar is just annoying
Which one is Umar
B Righteous lightskin with the braids
Good I didn't click away because of the comments in here.
That guy claims student of Islam but has an ear piercing, am I missing something?
everything aside, I'm angry brothers. Why aren't you guys letting one to talk and listening each other?
I was actually interested in what umar had to say about polygamy damn
salmah Begum guess you have to wait until they upload the next podcast 🤷🏾♀️😅
38:42 , loooool your resistant to go forth with one marriage but you’re polygamous ..... ok.
Might aswell say you want lots of bitches with your chest 😂
Sorry but Umi really annoyed me in this podcast.
They look for women who aren't black (despite our Prophet Muhammad's condemnation of racism) #YouKnowItsTrue #NotSorry especially the ones that whine about experiencing racism from our Asian community because of their skin colour. They know who they are on that table #Selfhatingpeople 😂
When did they say there looking for non black muslim women? That was no where in the video.
@@lilsafmusic It doesnt have to be said. None of them have dated/married a black woman. So there you have it, The antiblackness is real, but i bet you aint even black tryna interfere in our matters.
@@bayleaf7588 No shes not, even if she is...Its always a lightskinned women for these men. Nobody is ever checking for darkskin muslimas, and thats just the reality.
@@ijustwannabehappier-v4973 loool I saw her in his old vids. She's a black girl and is darker-skinned than him.
Not saying colourism doesn't exist but having a chip on your shoulder about it won't solve it. Channel your grievances in a different way sis
@@bayleaf7588 Lol what video? Im seen her on his video aswell and 100% shes lighter than him.
I know exactly how to channel my anger, sis. But my response was to the ones of you that tried to deny the colorism part.
The guy with braids seems to have such a basic superficial understanding about marriage. No depth or understanding at all
Imagine getting your knowledge from these jahils.. couldn’t be me.
Bunch of culture vulture clowns!! Pretty much sums up this obscure characters
Kind regards
I disagree and found the discussion interesting. It provides an insight for female listeners as to the male psychology with regards to issues pertaining to marriage criteria etc...
I believe there is no reason for me to live.
Salaam Isa,
You have as much reason to live as everyone else. Every being given life and existence by Allah is worthy of life and Allah's love. Whatever it is you are going through, please talk to someone, a loved one preferably, or a professional. Remember that no condition, however bad, is permanent. Express sincere gratitude for all the blessings you have, including even your ability to read and write and see and hear and feel and eat and drink and breathe and communicate here with complete strangers who are touched by what you might be going through. Forbear with patience and perseverance all the trials and tribulations you may going through. It shall pass, inshaa Allah. Head on to the Masjid or find charitable organizations with whom you can volunteer and engage in charitable activities. You are alive. You are valued. Permit only positivity to take space in your heart. And share the light of love and being that you are. May Allah's blessings encompass all of us...
@@LamaTheLama Thank you for your message but I do not believe in hope. I am planning to die this year.
@Muhammad Bala Talking to people does not help. It makes things worse for me. I had a session with a therapist and left because it was too much. And I've asked God for help many times. This has been going on for 14 years. I just cannot see any way out except suicide. I cannot understand what motivates people. Why would anyone in their right mind want to live? Why? For what purpose? Please don't say 'to do lots of good deeds.' I'm going through an existential crisis and I do not want to get well. I just want to be dead. I've heard the standard response 'God will throw you in hell for millions of years if you kill yourself'. My answer to that is I do not believe in that God. I cannot believe that God is so spiteful and vindictive that He would throw people in hell for ending their lives.
@Azza I read Quran everyday. I understand Arabic. I have sought professional help. I have kept a journal. I have asked myself questions. And I have found answers. There is no reason or purpose for my existence. My life has no value and no significance.
Everything here has meaning. Even the plant has meaning. You may not know it's meaning (there are many plants!) but it has meaning and significance. This planet is not where we are from. Our bodies are like space suits and when our space suits decay (which they all will) we go on, move on to our true reality. It won't let me post everything so there will be a few comments.