My autistic brain: why can't people just say what they want to say? If you want to hang out, just ask. If you are not interested or not available, just say it. Both are perfectly fine.
Hi Wong! If only it were that simple, right? Communication is such a complex and dynamic system and humans are complicated complex social beings that we have to approach social interaction with a bit more nuance :) But to your point, there's nothing wrong with saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Being transparent and authentic takes precedence! Happy Explearning ⚡
I'm right there with ya, the hoops you have to jump through make zero sense. But in my experience when you turn down a friend's offer to hang out they often feel dejected and wonder why. I've been on both sides of this myself, and it feels awkward to just say when you want time to yourself. This can also come off like you'd rather be alone than spend time with the person, which can come off rude if delivered in the wrong tone.
My opinion: if they really consider you a friend, they should be ok with opening up to you about their plans (or lack thereof). Because if you know them to be someone who is, for example, more introverted and values their alone time, then you can understand and accept them not wanting to do anything on a particular day.
Hey Karim! So happy this lesson helped :) Check out our playlist on overcoming social anxiety as well: czcams.com/play/PLSgyHuMB_1ojWo84uEqdWxdCQtoWsoz5N.html
I appreciate you reaching out to me suggesting the playlist. It means a lot that you take time out of your busy schedule to help people. #goodkarmacomingyourway
I’m gonna turn 16 in a few days. And since 16th party’s are big party’s. I need to try to invite some of the friends from my class and former class’s. Bug I’m kind of nervous to do it. Got any advice? If so thx
I just moved house down the road from my friend and she said that I can call to her house anytime to hang out and just ask her parents if she’s home but I’m scared to do that Incase she doesn’t want to hang out at that particular time I don’t want her to feel obligated to so I think I’m just gonna text her but I don’t know what to say
Hey Shauna! What helps me in situations where I might feel nervous to step out of my comfort zone is asking the question "will I regret not doing that?" If the answer is yes, then I muster the courage to do what scares me in that moment. We all suffer from bits of social anxiety to a certain degree, but it's surmountable :) Just be sincere and be you when you ask your friend to hang out. Don't fear rejection: czcams.com/video/8tKCKknQmvo/video.html (this is a lesson we have about become rejection-proof). Hope this helps. You got this :) ⚡
Hi, I was thinking to invite a whole group of friends to go to the mall but I don’t want to be to pushy and weird about it. Do you have any ideas on what I should say?
The thing is I’m in middle school. I’ve been hinting at her for the past few weeks. She doesn’t seem to get the point. She’s my fun/funny friends. Very straight forward. We talk about a subject for about 5 seconds before the subject changes. We do t have any actual conversations. Sooooo
That sounds like an actual hell but what do i know im 23 🤣 i cant spend any time around someone that cant understand i want to chill or change the topic 2 many times
I have a friend who lives abroad, he came back for few days and i really want ro see him.. We havent seen each other for 11 years since middle school and now we're both 26, he hasnt asked me to meet him in person even tho we're chatting everyday, and i'm scared to ask him to hangout bcuz i really... Wanna see him it's not like i like him but u know.. Idk want to come out as a nuisance.. He'll leave after tomorrow so i only have tomorrow :')
Rejection is not the end of the world :) Here's our lesson on becoming rejection proof: explearning.co/blog/5g22t77s/becoming-rejection-proof-and-celebrating-you Also, what's wrong with going to the movies alone? It's actually quite liberating :)
So I want to hang out with this girl , but she is busy or not at home most of the time. I always ask "Hey (name)! If u are available , would you like to come out and eat some ice cream with me?" Or "hey (name) . Would u like to come outside with me at (the time: example : 5.00pm) or any time u want? " is it ok? Because she most of the time can t go out and I am really nervous when asking. Any tips?
Hi Alexandra! I like how you presented the question in a polite and low-pressured way. One other way you could phrase this is "the next time you are stepping out to grab a bite to eat, let me know I would love a chance to catch up." This way, she doesn't have to worry about your schedule. She can invite you whenever it's convenient for her. It's great to have you in the Explearning community 😊 Happy Explearning ⚡
What if they don’t give you answer and the day is near? How do you ask for an answer without sounding rude? My time is important too I’d like to know yes or no so I can pursue other options if needed
Hey Rachel! Great question. You can time-stamp it by saying when/where the event will be held (i.e., a movie showing). You can apply a little pressure in a firm but polite way :) Yes, your time is valuable and you are in control of how you want it spent.
Hey! I don’t know if you still answer comments, but I have lots of social anxiety and I want to ask my friend to go have pizza with me. It would be just me and her and I’ve never hung out with her before. If she doesn’t come then I’d be going by myself and I don’t want to do that. What can I say?
So glad! Hope it went well.(Also, I hope you saved the comment, because Explearning switched over to a branded account and our comments got erased during the transition!)
Hi Issabella, Here are two ways you could phrase this: 1. Hey [name]. I was thinking about grabbing some pizza [this weekend/on specific day]. If you’re around, I’d love for you to join. I hear they make really good pizza. 2. Hey [name], there’s a great pizza place near me. The next time you’re hungry for a slice, let me know and we can check it out. In the first version, you set the date and time. In the second, you give them the freedom to set the schedule. Both present the person with an opportunity to hang out without pressure to commit. I’d select the first version if my timing was set in stone, otherwise, I’d go with the second version to give the other person a bit more flexibility. Hope this helps 😊 Good luck!
You can do it! Check out this confidence-building playlist for more insights :) czcams.com/play/PLSgyHuMB_1oiKmkhefo1iV4r0j-zPKD1w.html Happy Explearning ⚡
i’m autistic and i’m very bad at asking friends to hang out, i have 3 friends who i want to go out with on my birthday in 2 weeks. i don’t know how to ask them 😭
🌟Book a FREE private coaching call with me: calendly.com/marydaphne/private-coaching-session
My autistic brain: why can't people just say what they want to say? If you want to hang out, just ask. If you are not interested or not available, just say it. Both are perfectly fine.
Hi Wong! If only it were that simple, right? Communication is such a complex and dynamic system and humans are complicated complex social beings that we have to approach social interaction with a bit more nuance :) But to your point, there's nothing wrong with saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Being transparent and authentic takes precedence! Happy Explearning ⚡
I'm right there with ya, the hoops you have to jump through make zero sense.
But in my experience when you turn down a friend's offer to hang out they often feel dejected and wonder why. I've been on both sides of this myself, and it feels awkward to just say when you want time to yourself. This can also come off like you'd rather be alone than spend time with the person, which can come off rude if delivered in the wrong tone.
I feel like this isn’t autism it’s just what normal people work like
I’m scared and shy I’m scared she says she can’t and I get embarrassed please help me get through this!
My opinion: if they really consider you a friend, they should be ok with opening up to you about their plans (or lack thereof). Because if you know them to be someone who is, for example, more introverted and values their alone time, then you can understand and accept them not wanting to do anything on a particular day.
Broooo why am I watching this I'm not even gonna be able to do😂😂
You can do it:) just give it a try! No need to fear rejection: czcams.com/video/8tKCKknQmvo/video.html
This was PERFECT! Thank you so much.
You're video helped me a lot. My heart is racing as I'm typing this d to the anxiety of putting myself out there.
Hey Karim! So happy this lesson helped :) Check out our playlist on overcoming social anxiety as well: czcams.com/play/PLSgyHuMB_1ojWo84uEqdWxdCQtoWsoz5N.html
I appreciate you reaching out to me suggesting the playlist. It means a lot that you take time out of your busy schedule to help people. #goodkarmacomingyourway
@@kelgoneimy Happy to help. Hope you find the lessons valuable!
What if you wanna invite them to come over? And just them, no one else? How would you phrase that without asking directing “do you wanna?”
Helped me thnxx
I’m gonna turn 16 in a few days. And since 16th party’s are big party’s. I need to try to invite some of the friends from my class and former class’s. Bug I’m kind of nervous to do it. Got any advice? If so thx
Very useful.
Loved it thanks 😊
You're welcome 😀 so happy you enjoyed this lesson 😁
This helped me a lot...Tq
@@ExplearningCo Are you on Instagram??
@@ExplearningCo cool
Thanks:)
Great Advice!
Glad it was helpful!
Now I know why I don’t have friends :D
I just sent this video to the friend I wanted to invite, he got the message lol
Awesome!
Hi! What should I say if I’m not exactly sure where to go yet? Like if I want to plan an outing with someone?
I just moved house down the road from my friend and she said that I can call to her house anytime to hang out and just ask her parents if she’s home but I’m scared to do that Incase she doesn’t want to hang out at that particular time I don’t want her to feel obligated to so I think I’m just gonna text her but I don’t know what to say
Hey Shauna! What helps me in situations where I might feel nervous to step out of my comfort zone is asking the question "will I regret not doing that?" If the answer is yes, then I muster the courage to do what scares me in that moment. We all suffer from bits of social anxiety to a certain degree, but it's surmountable :) Just be sincere and be you when you ask your friend to hang out. Don't fear rejection: czcams.com/video/8tKCKknQmvo/video.html (this is a lesson we have about become rejection-proof). Hope this helps. You got this :) ⚡
I have a crush on one of my friends, and this will really help me when I ask him to hang out this week. TYSM!
How did it go?!?!
Not well lmao he turned
@@jgoy10 what do you mean by turned?
He turned on me
Hi, I was thinking to invite a whole group of friends to go to the mall but I don’t want to be to pushy and weird about it. Do you have any ideas on what I should say?
niggas im trwoing a party
The thing is I’m in middle school. I’ve been hinting at her for the past few weeks. She doesn’t seem to get the point. She’s my fun/funny friends. Very straight forward. We talk about a subject for about 5 seconds before the subject changes. We do t have any actual conversations. Sooooo
That sounds like an actual hell but what do i know im 23 🤣 i cant spend any time around someone that cant understand i want to chill or change the topic 2 many times
But I can't invite other country's friend's?
I have a friend who lives abroad, he came back for few days and i really want ro see him.. We havent seen each other for 11 years since middle school and now we're both 26, he hasnt asked me to meet him in person even tho we're chatting everyday, and i'm scared to ask him to hangout bcuz i really... Wanna see him it's not like i like him but u know.. Idk want to come out as a nuisance.. He'll leave after tomorrow so i only have tomorrow :')
I want to invite my friends over to a Pizza Hut buffet but one of them doesn’t like pizza, so do invite them there?
I asked my crush to hang out with me.......................❤️
And? What happened?
my autistic self during this video : 👀✍️📝
What if they say no then you just go to the movies by yourself?
🥲
Rejection is not the end of the world :) Here's our lesson on becoming rejection proof: explearning.co/blog/5g22t77s/becoming-rejection-proof-and-celebrating-you Also, what's wrong with going to the movies alone? It's actually quite liberating :)
Yes
Make that a good experience. You can have fun at the movies alone. Get all your favorite snacks and enjoy the movie
So I want to hang out with this girl , but she is busy or not at home most of the time. I always ask "Hey (name)! If u are available , would you like to come out and eat some ice cream with me?" Or "hey (name) . Would u like to come outside with me at (the time: example : 5.00pm) or any time u want? " is it ok? Because she most of the time can t go out and I am really nervous when asking. Any tips?
Hi Alexandra! I like how you presented the question in a polite and low-pressured way. One other way you could phrase this is "the next time you are stepping out to grab a bite to eat, let me know I would love a chance to catch up." This way, she doesn't have to worry about your schedule. She can invite you whenever it's convenient for her.
It's great to have you in the Explearning community 😊 Happy Explearning ⚡
Thank you so much!
What if they don’t give you answer and the day is near? How do you ask for an answer without sounding rude? My time is important too I’d like to know yes or no so I can pursue other options if needed
Hey Rachel! Great question. You can time-stamp it by saying when/where the event will be held (i.e., a movie showing). You can apply a little pressure in a firm but polite way :) Yes, your time is valuable and you are in control of how you want it spent.
if you're free this weekend .I'd love for you to join if you don't already have plans
Hey! I don’t know if you still answer comments, but I have lots of social anxiety and I want to ask my friend to go have pizza with me. It would be just me and her and I’ve never hung out with her before. If she doesn’t come then I’d be going by myself and I don’t want to do that. What can I say?
Explearning with Mary Daphne Oh my gosh! You’re a life saver! I’m emailing her right now. I’ll let you know how it goes! ❤️
So glad! Hope it went well.(Also, I hope you saved the comment, because Explearning switched over to a branded account and our comments got erased during the transition!)
Hi Issabella,
Here are two ways you could phrase this:
1. Hey [name]. I was thinking about grabbing some pizza [this weekend/on specific day]. If you’re around, I’d love for you to join. I hear they make really good pizza.
2. Hey [name], there’s a great pizza place near me. The next time you’re hungry for a slice, let me know and we can check it out.
In the first version, you set the date and time. In the second, you give them the freedom to set the schedule. Both present the person with an opportunity to hang out without pressure to commit. I’d select the first version if my timing was set in stone, otherwise, I’d go with the second version to give the other person a bit more flexibility.
Hope this helps 😊 Good luck!
these days people are full
of themselves its not the same as childhood days
I WANT TOOOO...
You can do it! Check out this confidence-building playlist for more insights :) czcams.com/play/PLSgyHuMB_1oiKmkhefo1iV4r0j-zPKD1w.html Happy Explearning ⚡
2:10
Thank u 🙏
i’m autistic and i’m very bad at asking friends to hang out, i have 3 friends who i want to go out with on my birthday in 2 weeks. i don’t know how to ask them 😭
what id you wanna do whatever they wanna do? XDDD
You are soo cute
People actually need help with this?
Dude, if they're already your friends why are you so nervous?
not everybody is like you 🥰
I have an acquaintance.
Well in quarintine, I mainly just play video games with my friends who i met in school, and we have not hung out irl.
Not everyone is special like you bruh