Blue Belt is Confident With BJJ but Insecure Off The Mat
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- čas přidán 28. 08. 2024
- Today's Sunday video is about confidence from a young guy who sent in a message asking for some tips. He says that he is super confident when training but off the mats he lacks the same sort of self-confidence. He says he's watched the videos and knows my stories and says that I look like I'm a confident guy and wants to know what I did.
I picked this video because I wasn't always a confident person and I was very much the same way as Matt is. I was confident when I was doing BJJ but as soon as I stepped off the mat it was gone. And in the video I talk about how I changed this.
I also picked this video because recently one of my mentors and I were doing a rolling session and he was having some fun jokes at my expense talking about how I used to be super unconfident. So it's a super fitting video for the week.
Hope the video is useful to you and thanks for watching.
-Chewy
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Jokes on you, I'm not confident on the mat either.
Was about to fucking comment this shit😂😂😂
Chewy is a good life coach in general. Love the vibes.
Glad you enjoy the video.
Is anyone else getting old school Elliot Hulse vibes? (Ie before he lost his mind.)
@@DarcyCarmen Sorry if you didn't enjoy the video Darcy.
@@Chewjitsu No no no! I enjoyed it and all your videos immensely! I meant it complimentary - solid life and training advice (like Elliott used to when he was the biggest fitness channel). Sorry if that came across as critical.
@@DarcyCarmen no worries. Text is tone deaf. 😂 I appreciate the reply. Just like my martial arts skills I’m a mixture of influences and my own style. The same is true with the videos. I’m a big mixture of influences and Elliott is certainly one of them.
Glad you dig the videos brother.
Had to double check this wasn't my own question- our situation is so similar.
I've gotten so much better at doing uncomfortable things- tried singing, acting, and piano lessons, and am now solely committed to being a professional artist (and BJJ Black belt)
The main things I'm scared of now are solo travel and wrestling, so I'm taking small steps every day and gaining momentum/confidence :)
Thanks for the video, you are so inspiring to me!
Solo Traveling is actually a lot of fun.....It's always good to travel with a partner, but at the same time solo traveling gives you the freedom to do whatever. Like you don't have worry about your partner complaining about hiking if he/she dislikes it
Happy to help brother. Good luck with your growth and the travelling. ;)
I really think you embody everything that's good about martial arts Chewy. It's more than the physical and technical process but also the psychological, emotional and philosophical journey. Your ability to share and articulate all these aspects of the arts on your channel is so inspiring. 🙏
Appreciate that. I'm flawed just like anyone else, but I make the attempt to do better on and off the mat which I think is what it's all about.
Joining BJJ was my "awkward thing". I had wanted to do BJJ for at least 10 years and always had this mindset of being a skinny, weak, unconfident ginger kid. I turned 40 and said to myself, "Go into BJJ 1 time.... if I hate it I never have to go back but at least I tried". That was a year ago and I still train every chance I get and LOVE it.
Chewy..... you always seem to say exactly what I need to hear. I CAN NOT thank you enough for just being you my brother!!! This one hit home. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Glad the message in the video connected with you and I hope something in the video spurs you forward to continue pushing forward.
Amazing stuff. Bravo, keep em coming, we love them!
Thank you for the wake up call. I've stopped doing BJJ for 5 years to take care of my 1st and 2nd born. Finding it hard to start again from where I stopped (blue belt) when my old mates are already at brown even black belts. Coming up with lots of excuses (too old, too busy, too far). Going to start challenging myself again. :)
Who cares about belts bro, just chase the skill
Literally just a colour on a piece of material
I identify with this so much. I just got promoted to blue belt. I feel confident while training, but outside the gym, it fades away.
Be in the jiu jitsu at all times and that will help u
Be in fighter mood at all times that will help
One of the best yet. Believe in yourself, do something and watch the insecurities go away. Still learning this myself. Keep it up and love the vids.
I don't think we ever stop learning it. For some we have to keep reminding ourselves with new challenges.
I felt that. I didn't expect to watch this video and have a full-on wake up call, but here I am realizing that I've been putting some things off. Thanks Chewy.
Happy to help Thomas.
Chewy, you’d be a great guest on the JRE. Always keeping it real with the bjj/life advice. Thanks, love ya work.
Life’s all about taking chances. Sorry to hear about your mom. God bless you brother.
Professor Chewy,
I have a lot of empathy for BJJ instructors because putting together a curriculum is very difficult. I feel like my instructor doesn't really have a curriculum. I'm under the impression he decides which technique(s) he wants to teach right before practice. As an instructor, do you feel like it's better to have a planned out structured curriculum or have it completely random or a combination of the two?
You make more $ by teaching newbies "cool" techniques. It keeps them on the mat. I started out in GB with a real curriculum. Pretty mu much did guard work and all the fundamentals for 2 years straight. It definately was the "boring" stuff, but paid off in the long run.
@@bipedalhominid6815 My coach follows the gravie curriculum most of the time but he likes to also teach us cool stuff as well
Empathy or respect?
I plan out my techniques a few weeks in advance based upon a rotation of positional focus. But I'm flexible and will add and change things if needed.
Awesome words, Chewie. Thank you. I remember T-City saying after his last fight “We don’t grow in the comfort zone. We gotta take risks.”.
You're welcome. And he's right.
Thanks for the words of encouragement.
I have started BJJ at the young age of 56.
It has it challenges starting at this age, but it's one of the best things I've ever done :)
I really enjoy watching your insightful videos
Thanks again!
I feel what this kid is saying, but I was confident before jiu jitsu. Now, the more I’ve learned and realized how much I don’t know, the less confident I feel off the mat. It’s like I assume everyone in the streets is as skilled as the higher belts, but we get new guys in and I roll with them and it’s like man, I gotta take it easy in these guys.
I feel the same way! Not so confident in my skills because I view everyone on the street as a skilled black belt or another colored belt. Then I roll with someone new and submit them pretty fast pretty often.
So sorry to hear of your loss hope all is well
I'm a simple guy, chewy uploads, I watch, I like.
Facing one's fears is often stated as a way to overcome them. It's stressful stretching oneself and very unpleasant sometimes, but we only have confidence in something when we prove to ourselves we can actually DO IT. Talking, reading, and watching videos/articles can show what is needed, but coming from a technical background, it's one thing knowing theory and a totally different league doing it in critical situations in real life. I'm still feeling imposter syndrome in my network job, and it's a challenge trying to get by sometimes still a year later.
Thanks Chewy for the 'opening up' and advice.
BTW, been years since I heard or watched Elliott Hulse, what happened with him?
Thanks chewy you are a good man with good tips for life. Keep on going. It is appreciated
תוצאות חיפוש
Couldn’t relate more to this question, thanks so much for the video ❤️
You're welcome Tom.
Chewy I just want to say you are an amazing speaker. I have had no interest in BJJ or any martial art and yet I spent hours just watching your videos. I definitely am going to keep an eye out on your channel for your more life advice videos for sure.
Glad you enjoy the videos. Some of my videos on Sunday are sometimes geared more towards general ideas on life and off the mat kind of stuff. Appreciate the message.
Incredibly good and timeless advice!
Your advice is really really good, even for life in general. Thanks
This video is another precise example of why Chewy is my favorite CZcams Jiu-Jitsu coach. Real talk, man. Real talk.
Thanks brother.
Man I love the advice on this channel. Just started jiu jitsu and loving every second.
Yes! Growth is found outside our comfort zones! Absolutely agree. Train hard, train smart, train BJJ. Live for a higher purpose. Everyone must understand the spiritual side to this as well. 2 Corinthians 5:6-8,17. Those exact verses from Gods word (verses 6-8 and verse 17 from the same chapter) speak on this exact topic of becoming new and shedding the old self. Be reconciled to God and he'll help you rid of all mental insecurities. This is coming from a fellow BJJ practitioner and Christian. Thanks for sharing Chewy 🤙💪🍻
Great channel. Great message. We need more of this in the world.
👊🏼
Life lessons. Thank you Master 🙇 Chewy:). Can’t wait to come to the gym.
Looking forward to seeing you back!
Love this video, thank you Chewy and thank you questioner.
Need to watch this daily
This is an amazing video, as a guy who got bullied at school and at home. This resonates so much lol
Glad the video connected with you.
Bro this guy is speaking real legit stuff I'm saying this by experienced . My parents always had taught me to run away from my problems . Then I heard this song called ' like light to flies ' by a band called trivium and there was this phrase saying " THOSE WHO RUN WILL BE BURNED " it took me a while to implement but later on I made myself do everything I fear of and you actually feel good once you get done with it . Thank you Mixed martial arts for changing me :)) ❤️
This is resonating with me right now I should be studying for a sac right now but I'm just avoiding it and putting it off I need to stop avoiding my problems and face them it and get to work.
@@joewhite8079 yess definitely man , face your fears and see how those fears turn into little scaredy cats and run away from you 💪
Really needed this video. Thank you so much man stay safe out there!
Whoever asked that question is a godsend. I I'm a purple belt; I am not confident off the mat.
Well you've got a blue print for how to become confident then.
🔥🔥🔥 like always good sir 🙏🏼
Great advice, Professor!
Relate too well to this
Great video Chewy. Sound advice buddy
Great message for life in general here on top of the BJJ stuff. We grow by getting out of our comfort zone.
I understand this. I tend to not have much confidence within myself and skills. I think of everyone on the street as a highly skilled Jiu Jitsu fighter. Then new people would come in the gym and I would make them tap pretty quickly and pretty often. This lack of confidence can come from rolling with people at your level or at a much higher level then you
Great video. I can relate to feeling confident in bjj but lacking it outside of training. Bjj is great for building up self worth but can't always automatically fix every other area of life. It's a great tool and two the biggest lessons from bjj is courage and repetition are the only way to get good at anything and fortunately most skills don't take as much repetition to become competent as bjj does.
I plan on taking improv classes soon as they have been know to be effective in helping people successfully build their communication skills, think quicker on their feet, recover faster from mistakes, letting go of judgement, and go with the flow. There are even therapists who get their patients into improv with effective transformation results compared to traditional talk therapy which is very limited and can only help to a point.
Do it! Get out there and do the improv classes. Good luck.
@@Chewjitsu
Will do. Thank you Chewy. Keep up the great work in your journey as you have obviously come a long way.
Your hair looks great!!!
Chewy is the best big homie I’ve ever had!
Chewy Iv been watching and enjoying your videos for a while, Iv never gone to jiu jitsu but Iv really been wanting to for a long time, I’m 31 and have had two back surgery’s and I’m scared to re injure my back and it holds me back from a lot of things in life. I no longer ride bmx or mountain bikes or motocross because fear of not being able to go to work. But when you said doing things you want to do befor you die it makes me think I want to ride bikes and join jiu jitsu. Have you had people join after injury’s/surgery’s? Thank you for your videos brother
Very good piece of advice indeed 👍
Looking great!
Thanks Hayden!
Love your videos chewy
Love your videos chew awesome
Advice
i can totally relate to your travel preparation story. the 1st time i booked a flight from europe to the states, got a rental and flew to california. i was very anxious. it doesn't matter what country you visit in europe. you still have that feeling - this is europe. the states were so different. like another planet 😅 but the anxiety disappeared pretty quickly and i ended up having the best vacation of my life
Glad I'm not the only one! I felt that way when I went to Spain.
Thanks for all the great vids
Great video...how to grow as a person...dead on!!!
6:26 "Playing old movies of who I used to be" That's the part that's the dark cloud that everyone needs to learn how to move on from.
Hey Coach Chewy, I really appreciate your videos about answering questions from us. Where do we ask those questions? Do we email them straight to you, or just in the comments and you pick out the best that will benefit us all?
Great advice
I’m insecure every day of my life. That’s what motivates me to grind.
Use the negative emotion of insecurity to push you forward. Smart man!
haha 47 seconds in and almost exactly like me. i wonder how many people have a similar story
Chewy your the man.
I love this! keep making these videos!
I plan on it.
I can Equate with some of this bullied, lack of confidence. Bullies are cowards stand upto them try usually collapse and pick on someone else.
I am late into martial arts.what helped me me was joining the British Royal Navy for 12 years. Did may things marine engineering, diving mineclearace use of small arms . And taught how to look after yourself both physically and how to look after your kit clothes shipmates and others who relied on you, to lookout for them like new recruits. Etc
Best I have ever worked with anywhere. Hope it helps
Great advice!
Same
The thing is that violence is subtly woven into our society. Nearly everything that is "asked" or "expected" of us is under the indirect threat of violence.
By becoming adept in violence, you've essentially freed yourself of most of the demands that anyone can place on you.
I'm surprised the asker is still insecure. If he's confident and sure of himself on the mat, that means he can probably fight his way out of a good number of the consequences of consistently saying "no" or "yes" against the wishes of those around him. He should be all set.
I was already confident I mean I’d better be being that I’m in my mid-40s but I’ve only been in bjj for 3 months and now I feel supremely confident I guess like my late dad was all my life. I feel I’ve almost reached his level of confidentness. He was since youth getting laid Very early on in life with his first wife when they were 11 married at 17, divorced at 20-something, entering the marines at 20-something, he would get into fights all his youth and into his 30s. He really never really didn’t have confidence until toward the end divorced twice and unable to really carry the same swagger being old if you call 60s old and in bad health. He was all about “prime,” and he thought prime as a man was at the age of 22 maybe even earlier. When I was 30 he said that I was way past my prime. However now in my 40s I really do feel in my prime physically mentally and situationally confident all around-wise. It may be the way I diet and exercise too and fasting that got me to this fountain of youth.
My dad ate really really bad and didn’t exercise at all in his 40s 50s and 60s. His downfall but he didn’t want to listen to no one. You couldn’t tell him a damn thing. But he as an example was the Most confident person I’ve ever met in life, kinda neat him being my dad so close to see and be around. He never really called me or my brothers in his later years. Never really reached out to see his granddaughters. I’m miss him though, my brothers not so much.
One thing that really helped me become confident was pretending to be confident. People believing you’re confident and awesome makes yourself believe that
Great advice. What if is not what is. Thats some t shirt $#!t right there. Thank you chewie
You'll find many martial artists with that same psyche, go look at old Mike Tyson footage. You'll see an insecure, and quite frankly a very sweet kid. This is why he allowed so many outside people to have influence over him, he trusted too many people with bad intentions because he is at his core that shy kid who put his life in the hands of other people.
List of fighters who either displayed or admitted to insecurities, or seem to be on the introvert side of the spectrum:
Daniel Cormier - asked if he was worthy in a fight before
GSP - admitted to being an unconfident kid
Luis Ortiz- introverted
Anderson Silva - introverted and very kind/ humble
1 non fighter honorable mention - Ricky Williams former running back of the miami dolphins - introverted and cerebral, an overthinker, possible insecurity issues. All these guys were beast though.
@@ricardoallen786
Very inspirational. There aren't too many fighters or people of all walks of life who don't have severe insecurities they struggle with. It all comes down to the choices we make.
@@ricardoallen786 Good stuff brother.
Dude I saw your post with your weight cut. You looking vascular! Need to know what diet you used.
God having dinner alone is something that gives me anxiety for no reason and i know it but i still have never done it
Real shit
Yeah this one is a home run.
You should have Renato Laranja on your podcast!
Confidence off the mat might be the single biggest way jiu jitsu changed my life
I never thought I could win a BJJ match - and then I won my first match... Well, I lost the next two. But still, winning at all just blew my mind.
Yeah, me too. In my tournament career, I’m 1-4, but that 1 win made it all worth it. It’s a pretty amazing feeling!
It changes you.
@@Chewjitsu It changed me in a good way. Overcoming the fear of death and actually stepping on the mat helped me in many ways (winning really was just the cherry on top). Next thing I did was climbing a mountain - and i'm terrified of heights. But you can fear death and still do things. As you said - we will die one day, but if you live in fear of death and are limited all the time, you aren't really living.
I remember I HAD a friend that gained grew an enormous ego from BJJ. At the time I wasn't doing BJJ, but we used to wrestle together in high school. I knew who he was deep down from wrestling (used to break) and so it was easy to put him in place when he would act up. He used to be a quiet guy in high school and had no confidence, but then ended up with a glass confidence.
Sure you are good at BJJ, but there is a difference between rolling and a pissed off person.
Some boxing and wrestling couldn’t hurt. Wrestling could help build confidence that one can get things to the ground, to utilize their Jiu jitsu. Boxing for the confidence to defend oneself if punches are thrown on the feet. Even 6 months or so of serious training in those could make all the difference.
Hew chewy ima white belt with about a month of trainings and I’ve been having issues with side control since instead of doing a submission from side control I would rather
Get into mount : so should I focus on what I feel comfortable doing of what I’m taught to do ?
Early on I'd nudge you towards the places you feel comfortable just as a you get your feet under you. I did this with Side Control early on. So if mount feels good. Go there!
Hey chewie, I've been dealing with some mental issues off the mat. More specifically, I have problems with alcoholism and overeating, can't seem to stay disciplined in that area. A lot of it is exacerbated by the fact that my schedule is so chaotic that it interferes with my ability to train consistently. When I don't feel like I can train consistently I don't even bother, and I fall right back into my old ways, and go right back to the bottle. I know I'm disappointing my coach but I don't know what else to do. I hate training at home and the only thing that keeps me away from my bad habits is being able to go to the mats. Have you ever had this problem before yourself? How did you pull yourself out of it?
Saving this one for a Q.
I havent been able to roll for so long and im going insane. Hope covid ends soon.
Covid will probably never end. Our behavior towards it needs needs to change. We don't stop normal life for the flu. We need to live our lives.
just move somewhere with less strict regulations
@@jpjp3873 Not sure how about America but im hoping my country beats it by 2022.
@@bana7782I cant even leave my city because its on lockdown and also the fact that im still a kid lol
@@mightymouse652 🙏
I have no confidence and it makes me awkward at times that and autism doesn't help the cause at all for me so I do martial arts bjj to belong to something and socialise with others and to beat bullies if I ever need to as I was bullied in year 7-8 I'm in year 11 and the youngest in the class.
Nr 3
Hey Chewy, cool topic. But I'm just the opposite. I'm not confident on the mats. My anxiety and anxious of " what if I can't learn this" like can't seem to put it together. And would you ever make a video for older folks like myself 50's on jiu-jitsu. Any suggestion or support on this issue.
I am not quite your age, but I am not a young gun either. I talk with a couple of the older guys at my gym. One is a fresh blue belt and another is a brown both about 50.
We have come to the realization that there will be limitations on our game that will increase with age. Getting the best of the young bucks is an ego game which has a price. A better mindset would have victory be measured by getting on the mats regularly despite aches and pains and working it in around family commitments.
Some styles may be less suited for older folks. Don't expect to be playing a lot of inverted guard, etc. Choosing training partners wisely can help increase longevity on the mats and can lead to faster improvement. Consider choosing higher belts and partners willing to trade techniques / flow rather than spend a whole roll smashing or fighting one position. While old man strength has some truth to it, it comes at a cost of longer recovery times. Be conscious of this to maximize your training opportunities.
Think about what your goals are in grappling. Focusing only on belts can be counter productive. Setting small goals and working on certain areas of your game can be more rewarding.
Sure I can do one for training BJJ over 50.
In my humble opinion, I think he doesn't feel confident because of the way bullying affects people. It doesn't matter how tough you are or what combat sport you practice, being picked on can have a lasting effect on your way of life. Even Mike Tyson talked about how bullying was something that he experienced and it is something he never forgets. Although BJJ is doing wonders for him physically, the bullying he experienced will always affect him. Trust me, I know.
FYI- I absolutely love this channel. As a combat sports fan, I love seeing th BJJ tutorials.
Yeah man I feel you after being bullied for 2 years in 7-8 and knowing I have bullies in some of my classes in year 11 it can suck and not talking to people in classes and having no feinds in class is also hard not wanting to do extra school exercsions and if someone is a xunt ill probarbly break their arm and get kicked out of the school you can't fight your way out of bullying.
why is having dinner by oneself awkward? I do it all the time
I have the opposite 😅
To be honest money makes you confident.
❤️
He just needs to read Ralph Waldo Emerson and some stoics
The Stoics def helped me out a ton spiritually.
@@BillaDaKilla Please check Emerson out on "Self Reliance", all his shit is on YT and he'll give you a lot of fuel lol
Emerson is great. I used to listen to Self-Reliance on my morning walk almost everyday for several months when I was in my mid 20s.
@@Chewjitsu Yess he was a brilliant mind! History and Character are really good too
I feel like this was made about me hahahaha
You’re not alone haha
I cannot imagine you nervous lol
What if you suck at both 😔
You don't have to suck forever.
Part of it is because this kid does not do self defense Jiu Jitsu. As long as there are no punches, etc
It is because he knows he can’t really do his art.
Sheesh bro you are the smartest guy in the world. Great theory you came up with