PTSD Symptoms After My Sexual Assault and How I Deal with Them
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- čas přidán 11. 09. 2024
- Over 15 years ago, I was sexually assaulted. The worst part of this was the PTSD I had to deal with.
It sucks, totally. But there is so much we can do about it, and so much I do to take my power back.
This is the story of my PTSD symptoms after I was sexually assaulted, and what I do to deal with them.
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\\\ About Marina Yanay-Triner, Soul in the Raw \\\
I am a high-raw vegan educator, recipe creator and coach. I create quick, easy and extremely flavorful high-raw vegan recipes on Soul in the Raw and educate on a scientifically-supported whole food plant-based lifestyle.
I went vegan to overcome PTSD as a result of being sexually assaulted as a teen, horrible digestion, as well as severe PMS. You can watch my sexual assault story here: • Sexual Assault: My Story , my PMS story + what I did to overcome it here: • Should You Quit Being ...
Today, I spread my love for veganism and help others go vegan through a heart-centered and practical approach. For the animals, the planet, and our health.
I feel so much hatred sometimes and helplessness. It’s so gross he just walks freely and in a new relationship . I pray that justice gets served.
The rage is really intense for me😔 and I can’t handle intimacy I hope it gets better
Yeah same I can’t deal with it
Same
same
Intimacy so hard, like I carry a secret and no one would understand or accept me
czcams.com/video/heah_Ncqwps/video.html
3 am nightmares. PTSD. Took me 4 years to discover I had PTSD. Big time self destruction. Loss of trust and much more. Thanks for the coping video.
The part where you said something along the lines of “ we cant control what happened but we can control how we move forward” really hit me. I had consensual sex and was non-consensually inseminated that lead to pregnancy. This is a very difficult topic for me because people dont realize or consider this as a form of assault/battery but it is. Thank you.
I see you ❤️ that’s incredibly painful and I’m sending you a massive hug!
Thank you for sharing your experience. You are a woman of so much courage. Sending you a big hug and lots of healing
It's been 10 years for me and I still experience the disconnection from my body as well as agitation, especially with any kind of intimacy with my partner. It's tough, but I went from having night terrors all the time to maybe one a year. I suppressed the trauma for 5 years so I have to remember to be kind and patient with myself. Healing is so possible and isn't always a straight line. Thank you so much for sharing your experience
also meditation was soo healing for me too! it changed my whole life and that was when the night terrors and other symptoms dissipated.
When does it get better? It’s been 4 months for me. Will my body ever feel like it’s mine? I feel like he stole my agency. I can’t be intimate with my husband i am terrified. I can’t sleep or eat, i just lay in bed. I first showered all the time and washed myself with chemicals. And now i can’t even get up to shower. I feel horrid. I can’t brush my hair anymore. I am so tired of this. I am pride of myself for one thing, i force myself to get out of bed.
I too have diconcetion from my body my doctors call it phychosis.
Marina,
I am very proud of you. I am a police officer and a trainer in the academy. I'm showing your video to my cadets as i'm writing this comment..Please stay strong and empowered! We need you to be the voice and calm to those who are voiceless and powerless.
💪🙌
Wow this means so so much to me ❤️❤️❤️
@@SoulintheRaw .. I'm glad to read your comment, Marina... I hope you're doing well and stronger!
4:50 “Not knowing when I am full or not.” I feel that a lot and sometimes I feel like I just eat because I am ordered to.
Jeremy I so totally relate!! I have been doing EMDR which is actually really helping my behavior around food. Have you ever heard of it or tried it?
Relatable
Soul in the Raw is
Its also.relatable me too..
this made me cry. I have been struggling with this for so long and I didn't realize it was cause of ptsd
Thank you so much for sharing your story. My husband and oldest daughter both have PTSD and are currently in therapy. It is so much more common than people realize and hopefully by sharing these stories with people, there will be more emphasis put on mental health and well-being 🤗
That's so great that they are going to therapy for it! I hope they can share their experiences and even bond over it with each other. It's insanely common! I am so glad we have these platforms to bring these issues to light!
I got Rape in 1999 when I was 15 years old. That why I got PTSD
@@janiceroach4093 Did you get treatment for it?
I was kidnapped, beat and raped over 33 years ago. It still affects me. Thank you for this video.
Have you read about Borderline Personality Disorder?
Wow, Michelle. I bet it totally still impacts you! It still impacts me too. I have, but not a lot. Is this something you're experiencing?
Read the work of Dr Jessica Taylor. How a victim of this abuse can develop symptoms that are labelled as BPD but are in fact a person with a set of real trauma responses’! And that women or men can be written off and given meds when they need a trauma informed therapist.
I was 12 when I was sexually abused, I'm now 46 and only just found out I have PTSD, I too have found meditation to be really helpful. Thanks for sharing and all the best.
This video took a lot of strength and realism to make so thank you honey keep kicking the ass of your tortue just like me 😘
Thank you so much Annie lovely! We are two badass amazing women yes?
Keep fighting and stay strong!!! :)
I have been having these exact same symptoms for months but I honestly feel like I’m overreacting. I just hear about all of these horrible things happening to other people and... this just feels like it wasn’t that bad. It lasted 5 seconds. I loved him. I had had sex with him before. It just makes me angry that I was extremely explicit about my boundaries seconds before, almost like having to show evidence of why he shouldn’t do that, and he did it anyway “just for a little bit”. But immediately after he stopped when I told him to, I kissed him and begged him to not leave me. And yet, I’m getting all these symptoms after something that seems so minor. I hate to say this that it makes me wish that it had been worse, because I would have been dealing with the same stuff mentally, except without feeling ridiculed in a way whenever I try and explain this. I just don’t understand why I can’t just get over this. It really wasn’t that bad.
Honey, I felt the exact same way after I was assaulted. I also loved him, he was my bf. Not saying at all that it's the same story but what I want to get across is this: you have your boundaries. There is no excuse for anyone to cross them. Your body knows what it wants. So you were hurt, and you have every right to hurt. I want to encourage you, if you are open to it, to say the following out loud "I forgive myself for judging myself for believing it's not ok for me to hurt right now, and that I am overreacting. The truth is..." (and you finish the sentence). Judging ourselves adds another layer we simply do not need and stops our healing. You deserve to heal. Sending you so much love and please let me know if this was helpful!
@@SoulintheRaw you don’t know me but thank you so much this has helped me a lot ❤ thanks!
Meeting the person who assaulted you? Omg I would never be able to look in the eye of my abuser and the reason is how I remember seeing a lot of joy in his face whenever he was seeing me crying, being in pain and being angry, he got a lot lot of joy whenever I get angry and I had a lot of distruttive emotion that he would hardly control his laughing and smile, so facing him means seeing him getting so happy and proud witch I’m sure will make me feel so much worse and drown in my trauma even more.
same
I too have PTSD and I have two children with PTSD. This really helped explain many things I have experienced. Sometimes I feel that the only emotions I have are fear and anger. The not being able to feel full or not is one of the symptoms I have experienced. I took having gastric bypass surgery to solve that problem. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I know it is painful and I really admire your courage.
thank you for sharing yours Susan! I feel you and I understand you! One of the things that helped me tremendously is changing my diet to a whole food plant based diet. It makes me feel amazing, and actually facilitates me to connect to my body. It's a slow process, but I'm seeing change day by day! Have you ever thought about trying it?
My uncle rapped me everyday when i was in 2nd grade, i deal with it everyday and im scared to tell my parents bc what if they dont believe me? what if i ruin my familly? ect. Yesterday i had a nigtmare of it and i felt really guilty of that happening to me, i felt everything that happend, and cried alot...
im so sorry this happened to you and I hope you are ok and I think it would be a good idea to tell your parents but in a very serious way like sit them down and explain everything that happened and also how it has effected you afterwords so they understand how real it is and how much of a massive deal it is ? again im sorry you went through that
Hey please tell them
PLEASE TODAY I’m telling my parents
What happend to you was not your fault, and i am sorry you feel so much suffering every day because of it. But in order to make the suffering stop/less you have to speak up and use your voice. I had a bad accident 2,5 years ago and terible back pain (and ptsd from it) but no one saw it and i could not tell how much it hurted, even real docyters told me i could not have that much pain and that is was all in my head, that i was to young (i was 15 when it started). I ended up even supressing my moments of trembling ect. because if they did not belive i had pain why in the world would they believe i had all of this with it. But at the end i spoke up to my parents and made clear nothing was working and my pain only got worse so i ended up getting better care like chiropractic (in my country its alternatrief care and really underrated) and i am working on the ptsd part now.
What im trying to say: if you dont speak up its only ganna get worse, i have expericened it, and it is really though speaking up to your parents, because they were not there and dont know what happend, but you have to for your one sake, you wont ruin anything, what happend was horrible but should not stay silent because then you stay victim even more every day. please take care and all the blessings❤️
I know how you feel, i was uncapable of sharing it with my family, i remained silent for one year and 3 months. I ha nightmares really often. It was the hardest thing i have ever done. But, i ha the courage to share it with my family and it was a relief. I can tell you, you are not alone, people will believe in your story. You don't have to deal with it alone.
Great and positive attitude to recovery and the benefits of encounter with assailant
so glad it resonated!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It's nice knowing that you aren't alone and sometimes family and friends don't always understand. It's crazy how you disconnect with your body. I have to force myself to eat sometimes because that urge just isn't there. One day at a time. I'm definitely trying to make the shift and it's rough. It's comforting to know that it's possible to keep going.
Thank you so much for the comment lovely and I'm so glad that you've found solace in this video! I also think it's so great meeting others in person in a support group or otherwise. It has helped me a lot! I still deal with the food stuff (I'm different than you - always slightly overeating) but I know that we can overcome! Love, Marina
It really is crazy...the disconnection...the anger...like a switch turns off the hunger sensation. I suffer w it and have for 2 years. Started meds, therapy, support groups.
@@aeight8797 So glad you went to support groups! Have you ever tried hypnosis? This helped me a lot too!
I can tell if a person has PTSD just by them talking about what they are going through.
I bet you are a very sensitive and attuned individual!
@@SoulintheRaw Yes I am very much so.
Woah how?
@@beeyuhtrees Its just natural as an empath plus knowing the signs and symptoms of trauma and root causes.
My counselor knew before i did. He was very kind and empathetic. I didn’t even know i had trauma. Then i realized i did and was sexually assaulted around that time (2nd time in my life) and i was even worse.
I love this! I suppressed so many memories to keep sane for so long and in the past two years, it’s come back to bite me in the behind. I never want to be labeled as a victim because I’m tough but sometimes it’s difficult to keep it all together. Thanks for the advice and sharing!!
I have whole years gone that are now coming back i bits and pieces. I was raped the first time at 8 by my second oldest brother . He was 17 . I had been drugged and rapped many times later that I blocked out because I could not handle the pain.. Now I can .
I do this too! I can’t remember everything leading up to the recent traumatic event.
Thank you for sharing this,
Having genuine support and hearing a survivor mentality is hard to find.
This helped me feel a little better.
I am so so grateful to hear that!
Great video. Totally relatable for me w ptsd and a victim mentality. Im deep in the trenches of it esp since filing a report yesterday on my assaulter with a witness. Took 2 years of physical, mental and emotional hell for me to do it. I want to be where you are.
Wow! I am so so proud of you for taking that step. I must tell you that when I filed a report, it was the first time I started to crawl out. You can and will get there. I believe in you fully. Sending you so much love and support!
Thank you for sharing your story. I was recently sexually assaulted at work and did not appreciate what this person did at all. What if you dint have the opportunity to see them again. I hope I have so I can really speak my mind. I got caught of guard and she is an ex coworker I was helping a customer and she came up to me whispered in my ear and then placed her hand on my butt. I froze bc I couldn't believe what just happened. I now know what I need to do before this ever happens.
(Ronnda Munshower) I wish I had seen your video when you uploaded it. I just want to say that I understand even though it happened to me over 40 years ago (so hard to forget because, like you, I've never been more frightened). Thank you for your bravery in sharing and take care.
You hit the nail on the head. Once I decided to not label myself as a victim everything started down a better path. Thank you for sharing.
czcams.com/video/heah_Ncqwps/video.html
U are such a pure soul... Really appreciate your honesty and courage to share something so personal and traumatic.. But the way u have taken charge of ur life is inspiring! I'm not suffering from PTSD but definitely going through some soul searching phase in life. Your video reminded me of what I know but tend to forget to believe in at times.. The sense of responsibility and ownership of our emotions is so important and empowering.. Thanks again..
Lots of love and light to dear🤗🤗❤️❤️🙏🙏🌼🌼
Thank you. I was sexually assaulted more than once in Israel. AND attempted rape. I felt powerless because I was a tourist and some how felt like I had no rights. Today I’m dealing with PTSD even though some years have passed. Listening to you makes me feel so much more connected because of the similarities we have. Thankfully today I am with my husband who helps me discover these things that I didn’t realize I was suffering because I brushed it off. Excuses like “I’m only a tourist” “it was only a touch” “why make a big deal?” “The police will have your name on file”. Since he is Israeli we visit Israel a lot. And if I’m being honest..... I was so angry I was going to get revenge. But when I was....it was like Hashem stopped me. Now I am on a path to healing. And I realized what happened to me was not okay and I should forgive and heal and not let my past control my future. Thank you for sharing I wish I would have taken that special program in Israel
Beautiful story, thank you for sharing. I have found that revenge doesn't actually heal our soul at all. So happy to hear you have your husband by your side!
♥️🙏
Wow! I am in America and they don’t have that program you talked about. That makes so much sense. I was sexually abused as a child and as an adult. I know my abusers were also abused. When you said that they lack power, love and control they take it out on others. That just made so much sense to me. It’s about power and control rather than a sexual aspect. I have Complex PTSD and I am seeking help for my symptoms. Their pretty bad at work. I love meditation that’s the only way I can sleep. Thank you so much for posting this. 🙏
Thank you so much for sharing Haley. I am now in the USA too. Right now I am doing somatic experiencing work and I really have been enjoying it. Meditation is amazing. Your diet makes a huge difference too (see the other videos on my channel). Giving your abusers compassion is huge. I know it sounds crazy, and I'm not saying that you must see them as absolved at all. What they did is so wrong. But they come from the same abuse. Let's stop this cycle together by working on ourselves and being lights in this world. I can tell that you are! Sending you so much love!
Everything that happens to us, the good and the bad, are lessons that we learn from and grow from. Joy exists alongside suffering, one cannot exist without the other. You can't go through life without experiencing the bad. Without pain to process the soul cannot grow. Only in the ashes of suffering can a Phoenix be born.
that's so beautiful Jack and I couldn't agree more. The most beautiful part of life is that falling makes you rise even stronger!
When I was 6 I was molested and I don’t think I’ve ever moved past it which is so annoying
Hey same thing happened to me I’m finally telling my family today
I can relate mines was a Women when I was a child it have me thinking I was gay which I'm not not judging gay people but I was confused as a child
This helps me 10000x more than anything anyone in my life can tell me
4 months ago I was sexually assaulted at a party by a male friend I have been friends with for 13 years. He kept shoving his hand up my skirt and I pushed him away and told him to stop but he carried on anyway, later on he put his hand up my top and was stroking my nipple. I then froze. I still haven’t told our other friends in case they don’t believe me and think I am over reacting. I think I have PTSD........ flashbacks, nightmares , can’t wear the clothes I wore that night, avoid places I know he goes to....
I am so so sorry you had to go through that. Give yourself acceptance and so much love. It is 100% not your fault, don't forget that. And definitely share this with a person you trust, don't keep it in my dear because secrets like this really eat you up. Get support as well. It can be life changing to get that support! Sending you so much love!
You are so amazing, brave and we are so proud of you! You went through so much pain and always keep going, keep getting better, choosing light over the dark side, just incredible!
Thank you, mommy! I love you so much! You are my inspiration in everything I do!!
I was diagnosed with ptsd from being sexually assaulted as child and preteen..... I was doing so well untill last week when a man broke into my home and sexually assaulted me now I feel like im going insane and I don't know where to go💀 help
Kira Cummings so sorry 💔❣️💔
For what
Please hold on and get help ❤️
@@villalobosregina my boss witnessed "my friend" lace my drink same night i passed out in his car. Last name.. villalobos. Hes a sick lying cheating man. Weve the video of him lacing my drink too.
@AEight I'm so sorry to hear that I share. Last name with a guy like that shares my last name. I am so sorry for you have gone through. May you find help and strength.
Can so relate to the anger, in fact I would call it rage more than anger. Totally out of proportion to what's happening :-/
It's so normal and human as part of PTSD. Are you seeing someone and seeking support? I am currently doing EMDR and really love it so far! Sending you lots of love!!
Aww that's sweet of you. Tbh, I'm only just considering the possibility of ptsd. I was given a diagnosis of emotionally unstable personality disorder and read somewhere that the symptoms of this are very similar (or at least overlap) ptsd. I'm just pondering all that, plus several sexual experiences which I had when I was young which I didn't want to happen but felt helpless to refuse 😕. Sounds like you are doing great though so that's awesome 👍😊🌻
@@corallaroc give yourself all the love! We are taught that it's not ok to say no, and that sexual assault can only be done by random strangers. This is simply not true. Sexual assault is much more common with people we know. It took me years to call my assault rape.
I feel like I have just found out what is wrong with me
I was diagnosed PTSD and im so tired😔
I'm sorry to hear that. Know that PTSD can actually start the road to healing and so much greatness in your life. It's not the end, it's only the beginning!
Marina, you're a brave woman to come forward. This is helping alot of people. Stay strong and you're loved, 🙏🙏
I watched again and realised I'd missed things like 'not feeling full up, when you' ve had enough to eat'. This is a marker for incipient alcoholism - not knowing when you've 'had enough' or not being able to stop. PTSD and excessive drinking often go together - with soldiers, especially ?
Is it normal to cry everytime someone mentions sexual harrasment or get really bad flashbacks when someone does. I cry almost all the time because I get flashbacks and i’m not a very emotional person but something just makes me cry almost immediately whenever I hear the words sexual assault.
This is happening to me. I hope you’re okay. 😣❤️
Thank you so much for sharing! You are amazing person as anyone that goes through this!!
I really wish there were more avenues for us to find someone with similar circumstances talk with each other. Because I know I could never share openly like this.
Unfortunately I can’t confront my offender because he died before I got a chance.
Thank you so much lovely! We are all in this together, sharing with each other. When you are vulnerable with your story, you influence others and give them hope too. I would suggest writing him a letter, and then possibly burning it if you feel called to do this!
Soul in the Raw I think that would really help. Thank you very much. ❤️
I believe some therapists are Sympathetic, educationally trained and hear many stories. But haven’t found one that has lived it.
I have wrote him a letter and truly have forgiven but haven’t forgiven myself.
@@1millionsubswomovieschalle796 I suggest interviewing them before you sign up. I promise you will find one that aligns with you and works for you!
Thank you for being so brave in you journey that was so difficult to express 💕
I get tiredness and low motivation, I'm sorry about what happened I suggest running for the nervousness but I'm too sad to at times. Mine was for a slightly different reason. I am dealing with nightmares at the moment, counselling didnt work out for me. My counsellor kept talking but not listening so I ended the sessions. It was destroying me. I'm too low to do much. I've spent years having a chronic pain issue put down to anxiety and that was all the lady talked about. I couldnt stand myself after listening to her. I was constantly interrogated on why I looked upset. I know I need to look after myself and fight for the care I need to avoid more years of pain. That said I had anorexia years ago and maybe that's why I'm not feeling too Good.
The fact that you found this video means that you are looking for a way to feel better, and that's incredible. If you ever want to talk about coaching (very different than counseling), I'd love to chat with you: rawsoulnutrition@gmail.com. Love, Marina
I've had terrible experiences with a counselor. But some some counselors are great. Not always a fit and I hope you can try again? Interview THEM before you hire and be sure they are accredited. The one I saw wasn't & it's not illegal where I live to practice without being certified. I saw a male "counselor" who was a fake. He knew hypnosis and abused his female clients. Long story, but people need to be wary
Hi Precious Marina,i must say very good video as I can relate to what you say,and there’s a lot more that you didn’t go into in this video,and i think you should do more videos which could be of help in some way to others,i say it’s having courage to be able to share with others where you have been,what you have experienced,sorry,come back again,thank you,love Denny😘🙏🦋⭐️and🌙🧸
I think im suffering from PTSD i was in an abusive relationship with my childs father and in that time he would beat me, control every aspect of my life, he raped me and threatened to kill my un born child while driving at over 100 miles an hour towards a wall. we are going through the court process at the moment and me and my son have been moved to a safe location but im now really struggling to cope. I cant take a shower without hearing his voice and even seeing him threw my shower screan, i can be in a loud or busy place, loud music, hair dryers anything loud makes me feel so panicked i feel so scare in my home i cant relax i feel like hes going to be hiding some where even though i know rationally he couldnt possibly be here. I dont know what to do and i dont want anyone to think im not capable of looking after my son i dont know what to do to get through this or if i ever will, i just want to feel safe again
Rachael Reid I can relate to your symptoms.I hope you’re safe and doing better 💖
ohhh jeez, that's pure horror you went through, dear! no wonder you are experiencing what you are going through! it's so tough. especially when you are a mum and worry about that aspect as well. I how you can find friends or others to support you while recovering. you can totally get better!
Thank you, I reached out to a charity that support victims of rape and abuse, I've still quite a way to go in healing but I'm doing a lot better than I was when I wrote this first comment
Thank you for this video! I used meditation to help with my trauma. I wish more ppl knew how beneficial it is for survivors.
Thank you for sharing your experience, it is really important
I never knew i was living with PTSD from childhood trauma & the second part of my life trauma happened even worse then i realized... I've learned to put a name to it when i was sent to a mental institution all from rape & abuse... Healing is always part of the ups & downs .. i struggle with the rage, i cope with music/movies/ rarely meditation..
Your video and message was so beautiful, inspiring, uplifting, therapeutic, and overall so brave.
Thank you for sharing your experience, strength, and hope!!
Be blessed and Ciao!!
I feel so scared everytime
I was sexually abused by my sister and 2 female cousins last year and by a male cousin for 2 to 3 years few years ago😢 i now always have dreams of being sexually assaulted and i am just scared and i feel so lonely i never had a friend in my whole life i am 18 years old
I am so sorry that happened to you. I am so sorry. There are people who would love to be your friend in your life. Being lonely is hard. I'll be your friend.
@@lettinggrace thankyou so much 😊❤
I have ptsd and I keep reliving everything
My dear, I understand you. One day, it will be but a dream. Keep giving yourself love, and get support! We do not have to go through this alone! Love, Marina
I am struggling a lot with this. Today is a good day. But i am still unable to have intimacy. I feel broken it’s been only 4 months
Thank you for sharing. Your sharing helps others. I hope you know that.
i was sexually assaulted last year, i was 14, and today is the one year ig and i’m literally shaking and i feel sick. idk what to do bc i have school today and i feel like crying. bc he’s still out there getting in relationships while i’m here scared to even get touched by a boy, let alone i barely except friend requests from boys now
after a past experence of mental abuse i have found my self raging out of the blue every now and then
are be fine one minute the next it hit me like a brick are have a surge of negative emotions running though me
where i find my self running and my hearts start beating fast one time i got so angry i smashed a window
i have not been told i have ptsd or cptsd but i do think i have it
Great video! Really appreciate your honesty and self-awareness
I don't understanding therapy it feels more destructive than anything. I feel misunderstood in it
I’m starting to form an eating disorder I believe, didn’t mean to think about this person but it’s someone close to me and I was eating and it popped up and I instantly started crying then coughing and felt like I was going to throw up and crawled to the toilet idk depressed now
Only "the perfect victim" get a (ptsd) diagnos and help...
sorry to here about your experence x x x
Im a survivor x
Sending you so much love Pamela! You are strong, magnificent and powerful!!!
@@SoulintheRaw aw thankyou. Its been so difficult but i wont give up
@@SoulintheRaw I have thought about restorative justice with the perpetrator as i feel it would be more compassionate as well but I dont think they do that in Australia..still learning. I think going to court would be too difficult for me as im a naturally sensitive person.
I was raped at 5 and molested etc.... for a long time. I meditate and practice Buddhism and the ptsd that I started to have is pretty much gone
amber mc I’m very sorry this happened to you. I wish I could get my mind closer to meditation and or practice Buddhism. Sometimes I just wish I had someone to talk to about what happened to me.
that's so incredible to hear!!
@@1millionsubswomovieschalle796 it's a practice, it takes loads of patience, You will get there my dear!
I have a severe fear of walking at night and its debilitating due to assault. Another thing is, ive been assaulted by people who are dark skinned and my bodybgoes into extreme fear if by any chance i cross someone with that skin tone when its dark outside. Do you have any tips? I just want to move on. But i have a lot of heavy emotions coming up recently
I got to think some stuff for this video.
Your smile is great.
i was assulted by my father when i was 13 , it diddnt effect me till 26 and its gotten worse , i am 30 now and i am really struggling , does not help my dad hates me which makes me feel the worst , i don't have my mother either because of my father and the fact i have other brain issues does not help either , sucide thoughts been getting worse , i try to be happy but nothing makes me happy and i have outbursts too where i have thrown things and thought bout hitting myself cause i feel i cant do nothing wrong , thanks for the video
Back in middle school, my first ever bf told me to sign a pass to go to the bathroom. Thanks to my premature brain i said ok not knowing what he was going to do. He pulled me into one of the girl's bathrooms and we went into one of the stalls. He started to kiss my neck, he told me to take off my shirt but, i said no. as soon as i relized what was going on i freaked out. he uncliped the back of my bra even though i told him not to. when we got caught, he slipped underneath to the next stall. a teacher found him and he pretened like he had no idea what was going on.
This happened 5 years ago, I still have nightmares about it to this day.
I'm so sorry! Thank you so much for sharing your story. Have you told anyone else? Sharing is so powerful and really helps to heal. I feel you and see you! Sending you lots of love!
@@SoulintheRaw Yes. both my parents know of the insadent. his little brother knows of the insadent but, blames me. my creative writing teacher knows becuse i did a poem about it.
@@lyllymoreland2800 I'm so glad you've shared. Please know that it's not your fault at all!
@@SoulintheRaw I already know that. he's the one who thought it was ok to try and get with a girl who had the brain of a 10 year old do to prematurity.
@@lyllymoreland2800 good I'm so glad!
Thank you 🙏🏼
This is inspiring, thank you
so glad to hear that! Sending lots of love and healing on your journey!
Thank you for this... I'm still working through my sexual assault... and journaling it and going to therapy.. I wouldn't talk to my offender because... he was manipulative.. he was gaslighting.. he played the friend card... and once i trusted him and had a few drinks and couldn't defend myself.. he took advantage of me... there was a lot of emotional abuse along with the sexual abuse and a lot of people who look at this would not think this is rape... but lets say you borrow $20 from someone.. and then you paid them back monday... thursday rolls around and they say "hey, where's that money you owe me?" you swear that you paid them back but they convince you that you didn't.... so you give them the $20.. they still stole $20 from you... its just a different kind of stealing than say.. someone who holds a gun to your head for your money
Thank you for sharing this with me, my dear! I completely understand. I went through a lot of emotional abuse too, since the guy was my boyfriend (very first relationship) for 3 years. So I can relate so much. It is sexual assault if you feel it is. I am so glad you are seeking therapy! Do what feels good and comfortable and right for you. Sending you lots and lots of love in this healing journey! We are all in it together. Step by step. I am working through so many things to this very day too.
I understand this completely, my situation was the same in terms of the drinks/gaslighting, and the friend card...sometimes I wonder if I could get help because it was more covert and I don't think it would be understood, I fear being laughed off
@@poisonrain999 my dear, I am 100% with you. You are the only one who can know the truth. When you find the right therapist, you will never be laughed at, and you will only grow from this experience. Find a community of people who love and support you and hold you up!!
I'm trying to get tested for PTSD. I'm sure I have it but I won't to know so I can make it easier.
Hi Zoe, wishing you so much healing and love! Happy to talk with you about it, feel free to DM me on insta @soulintheraw
Hi this is embarrassing but I was sexually assaulted by my brother almost three years ago after a fist fight in public and was humiliated in front of his freinds.i still have a chance to press charges but am terrified beyond belief and have no proof other than his freinds as witnesses.i was traumatized so badly by the fight that when I went to check if I was OK at the hospital they diagnosed me with schizophrenia and I was put in a ward.im not saying all of this because I want sympathy.I am asking how do I get my power back.i want to work for myself and think for myself but constantly find myself thinking of the past and how at any moment if I start to succeed and be noticed that he will find me and do unspeakably terrifying things to me again.
Thanks for sharing ur trauma..i m also getting in this situation..n try to recover my self..u gave me a lot of energy n suggestions to handle this .traumatic time..tq so much..sharings means a lot..to all the victims..
I’m here for you. How are you doing now? 💕
thank you so much for sharing!
You're welcome Mary! I hope it served you!
I have ptsd and rts as well struggling so bad and do not have an advocate. My mind is a war zone it feels like. I wish more ppl would talk ab ok but what and how to do after this happens. I want so bad to get back to normal. It's been 3 years and I feel like I'm getting worse. I cant get past it. I'm stuck.
Hi Tiffany, I totally understand where you're coming from. I felt that for years, and I am so grateful that I was able to set practices in place to support me through this. I am really happy to talk with you about this and see if I can help you do the same. Feel free to email me rawsoulnutrition@gmail.com sending you so much love!
Please pray for me. I'm worse off today i feel like than back then. I cant seem to escape it. I'm sooooooo depressed. I'm on meds now for depression and anxiety. I came back to watch more videos. I DESPERATELY want my life back im still being robbed. I'm so angry if im being honest.
My boyfriend forced me to have sex a week ago I had been forced to have sex 2 other times by two different men those assaults happened 2 months apart. I don’t feel like I have PTSD I’m still with my boyfriend he said he was sorry and that it wasn’t my fault. He also treats me pretty well. I am depressed but I have been that way for a while.
How do we meditate ?
I started with guided meditations! I've got a playlist on my channel of my favorites and I'd be happy to share if you'd like. I do them twice a day, morning and night, for 10-20 minutes and just follow the instructions I am told. It has really made a difference!
I have a question i got sexually assaulted at age 14 at school whenever i see him i get upset ans i cant stop thinking about him. I cant be alonr with him. When he passes by me i get a numbing feeling like the time i was with him that day he assaulted me. I wish it never happened. I might have ptsd.sometimes i do and dont cry when thi king about him. All the thoughts and relationship i had with him is disappearing in my mind and im forgetting. But it hurts
I'm so sorry you have to face this man again and again! I cannot even imagine what I would feel like if I had to do that. I would probably have a gagging reactions every day. So horrible :( and it's totally normal that you feel terrible when you see him! Is there any way you can start to just avoid meeting him?
@@SoulintheRaw my boyfriend helps me navigate when hes around. I just close my eyes and trust him
@@mysticfawn6812 I'm so, so glad you have him! Sending you lots of love!
@@SoulintheRaw thank you
Try Brainspotting
Stay strong.
I don't think I'll ever be able to get over this & be functional. Not sure what to do for survival, and my life is headed nowhere.
Pineapple Torte I completely agree and I’ve dealt with it for almost 30 years
my dear, hope is always there for you. I believe in you!it takes time, effort and hard work, but hope is there, the option to heal is there. Always.
Did you press charges against the man that sexually assaulted you??? I did, and now I am terribly scared for my life. I don't know what to do.
I have ptsd from a brain injury and rape but mostly a Brain injury
I think I actually feel you the same.. Wonderfull😇
I live in Louisiana. I dont have insurance and im so desperate for help with specialist in ptsd.. I'm was a mental health professional myself. I'll go anywhere that would give me a chance for help. I can't live like this anymore. Contact me on messenger if anyone can help me.. please
Compassion I only feel for everyone who gone though unconscious human hell
Can u find a therapist online ??
Like someone that can help u in a professional way, seing its easyer to write than talk.
I cannot talk with people about this, its hard cuz i have only one person that knows im struggling with it
Sorry if i ask something like this but im trying a lot to get through
Yet some days its so hard
Thank you for sharing. Is there someplace I can read about, the restorded process which is used in Israel ?
God bless you!
Hi thank you for sharing, your story's very helpful. I was wondering why therapy didn't help you? I have a loved one that I've mentioned therapy to because we're trying to find ways for them to cope with PTSD regarding something that happened in childhood. This persons been able to talk to me a little & some friends, many of whom are what I call good sounding boards & are very supportive, but I feel there's a couple that act as though they're supportive but I have a gut feeling they may not have this persons best interest at heart, something feels off. Anyway we're hoping to find some ways to cope with ptsd & wondering if going to therapy will put this person through those old memories & basically re- traumatize them.
I know from experience not all docs are that helpful they're just in it for the money. (You know what they do, Hi How does that make you feel, please pay me on your way out, see you next time, docs) I can't help but feel going to one could be more harmful than helpful. Do you know what or how a therapist can truly help other than just listening to the patient? I don't think my loved one would be interested in medications for depression or anxiety as they don't do drugs and take pretty good care of themselves, they like to be free of toxins. They have a good head on their shoulders, has started a family, is a good step parent and bio parent but is having some struggles dealing with the past. Seems to worry to much about what others think too.
Also wondering what kind of meditation you use and again why do you not recommend therapy? For me therapy only put me in debt & in truth I think talking to the lamp in his office may've been more effective and less expensive lol. All joking aside this is my loved one and I desperately want to get them help but we're not exactly sure what the right course of action is. They cope pretty well most of the time by keeping busy but maybe like you said is possibly repeating the story being as a victim for sympathy. I'm by no means down playing what happened in childhood they are a victim but they're in their 30s now & it's been almost 25 years since the incident. I'm also wondering if there's a couple of people around that likes to keep the drama going. Like I said I have a gut feeling some are enjoying the show.
Will be good to hear your opinion & advice because I'm truly wondering if going to therapy & spending so much time in a doctor's office is the right course of action. Any thoughts or help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you kindly
Thank you so much for caring for your loved one like that, that's beautiful! I can only share from my personal experience not professional advice of course... therapy helped me quite a lot in the beginning, and nowadays I go to couples therapy with my partner to deal with intimacy issues after the assault. I believe therapy can be a huge help, but we are all really different and there are sooo many healing modalities, it's great! What I have also found to help me is hypnosis, breathwork, guided meditations, wim hoff breathing, and Grinberg therapy. And I know I have so many more to explore! The most important thing for you is to let your loved one know that you are there for them, you want them to heal and support them in whatever way they choose to do it. That will mean the whole world to them!!
@@SoulintheRaw thank you, yes I'm trying to be there for them as best I can. I'm hoping the doc can suggest some coping skills. Hypnosis sounds interesting we might look into that.
Again thank you for your help , take care
@@Lady-Carmakazi it's great. I did it with Janine Wirth, I highly recommend her.
@@SoulintheRaw where's she located
@@Lady-Carmakazi she can work from anywhere, online!
When I saw your picture I thought this is a very intense girl and I was right.You are very powerful and bold you confronted your attacker you understand that rapists are NOT in control in their lives so they attack to feel more in control.When you understand that you feel empowered.The rape victim has to deal with a humiliation for a moment but the attackers needs are not met and his anxiety is constant.Unless he gets help he will never be permanently empowered himself.
And of course if your sexually abused often that takes even more strength to endure but that's another story.
I just wanted to share with you that in the bible the book if Deuteronomy Chapter 22 verse 25 and on it says that if a man forces a woman God wants the death penalty for that man.God says that the woman is not to blame that raping a woman to him is the same exact thing as killing a man.You should read it for yourself.In A MYSOGONISTIC world including most churches this truth is not told.This verse affirms that raping a woman is the exact same thing as killing her in a sense and compares it to killing a man not killing a woman.Which means that a woman's rape is as serious and as significant as the loss of a man's life.
I hope this helps you understand better how God sees you in comparison to how society especially male society sees women.www.ChurchofGodMinistryofJesusChristInternational.com
I wish you all the best in the world and I think it has been a pleasure to know you!God bless you my dear.
Thank you for your feedback. Sexual assault is definitely the robbing of the soul, and it is very true that the perpetrator comes from trauma and is left with trauma.
Thank you so much
I have a friend who was molested by her Uncle sadly. she can be flaky at times with getting back to people and recently told me it’s because she has PTSD. She said maybe it’s from getting divorced but I think it’s clearly from getting molested. I think she needs to go to therapy and seek help but how do I bring this sensitive subject up to her without her getting mad?
Didja 1980,I would just be there for the falls,and wait.Sometimes just knowing you have a friend who gets you is helpfull.She will trust you if you understand her moods and will talk with you about this when she trusts your judgement.Therapy isnt for everyone and especially hard to treat is ptsd.Theres alot to be said about the right time and place for that type of advice, intuition is normally a good guide...
Such a great question. I would simply say that you're fully there for her, and you support her getting help. If she goes to therapy, all these questions will get figured out, so that would be the best idea. So I would simply support her getting help.
@@nessauk2786 ah didn't see this! Similar to what I think :)
true and have trusting problem too
I honestly don't know if I believe you I've never seen anybody smile make jokes and treat this in a very flippant way
This is a very serious issue in our society, sexual assault survivors not being believed. We are expected to always be crying and in distress. The reality is that we are humans, and we react in different ways. Thankfully, I am finding so much healing and I am able to live my life without utter distress like others. I would encourage you to reconsider this disbelief, not because I care at all what anyone thinks of me (I know my truth. I got enough negativity and pushback as a little girl when this all happened, but now I stand firmly in my power about it). But because millions of survivors need to be believed, loved and supported.
When you don't cry while sharing a traumatic experience, people will blame you for not crying and they will act suspicious. Very painful and insulting.
When you cry they will tell you to stay positive and keep smiling or relativate, move on.
It's never good enough no matter what you do, to some judgmental people who lack human empathy.
Did you go to court? Restorative justice? How did you meet up??
I tried to reach out to him through a friend about restorative justice, but he refused it (it's not court mandated). We met up at the police station because in Israel they encourage the two sides to meet and tell their versions to investigators. I was really glad to do that because it was exactly what I was searching for - to unload my story onto him
@@SoulintheRaw its good you got what you needed as i imagine every survivors needs are both similar and different.
Not a huge fan of therapy. People who are not qualified to walk our dogs, SHOULD NOT be 8n positions to CAUSE MORE HARM.
I have ptsd and have been living with my PTSD and depression for almost 10 years now I have told many friends but it's near impossible for me to get the words out of my mouth when I decide I should tell my family I really want to let them know especially who it was but I'm having a really hard time even thinking ab this just makes me breakdown any advice to help me with this? I have been molested around the age of 8 and I am now 17
Hello Jerome. Thank you so much for your honesty. Have you ever thought about writing a letter to your family and just telling them everything? I know it's so scary. The truth is, when you get it out there, it feels so much better. Keeping it a secret literally eats you from the inside. I would highly recommend getting support as well - from a great therapist. This has really changed my life for the better. Sending you so much love!!
Soul in the Raw, Thank you so much for the reply wasn’t expecting to get one. If I write a letter then I don’t think I’d be able to give it to them I have so much stress when it comes to what happened to me and the person who did it was one of my family, they don’t live with me and they are in prison rn getting out in a couple years you probably can imagine what I’ve been going through and what’s even worse is that I smoke marijuana to try and dull the pain, I’d really like to tell my family what happened but i can’t get it out of me I get nervous and stressed out if I attempt to tell just one of my family members and I’ve tried many times in the past 10 years it’s gotten to the point where I’m just used to them not knowing and I deal with the stress myself, I’ve gotten a lot better since those 10 years and so my memories don’t cause me to cry anymore but every now and then depression will hit me and my moods will go from a deep sadness to just getting really irritated.
@@jeromegaming8133 I completely understand you. Just look at all the resilience you have inside yourself and all the courage in dealing with this for so long. It's amazing. Observe it and appreciate how powerful you are. And here is a suggestion: you can write letters without giving them to anyone. Write one to each member of the family, and don't put the pressure on yourself to actually give it to them. Do it as something you are simply doing for yourself.
@@SoulintheRaw Hey Marina writing back to you after reading you last comment sorry if I spelled your name wrong, But i did it !! Half way at least I told my oldest sister ab what happened to me and it felt really good tbh i didn't think i could do it but the words just came out of my mouth and i found out that my older sister had the same thing happen to her and my other older sister by the same family memeber so i no longer feel alone in this my oldest sister gave me a long hug and it really helped me disappointed in myself for not being able to hold back the tears, Hugs from family are just too powerful I want to thank you so much for giving me the courage to tell them I'm going to tell my father today wish me luck. Sincerely Dante Jerome Martinez
Update: Told my parents ab it I feel alot better now
I think I was sexually assaulted as a child, I’ve never spoken about it to anyone before and that’s why I’m on a different CZcams account because I don’t want anyone knowing my name although my brothers friend used to make me touch him and he used to touch me I was around 5-6 years old and we went on holiday he gave me alcohol and made me get into bed with him I don’t know if this is me just labelling this as sexual assault I’m only 17 I don’t know 🤷🏻♀️ if anyone could help me because I cant sleep at night I’m just really down
And the worse part is he lives like 2 doors down from me
I’m sorry you had to go through this and yes, such experience may result in ptsd & what you describes (sleeping problems, feeling low...) may be ptsd symptoms.
From my experience it can get better so it worth making an effort to diagnose and work on it.
Better get diagnosed by a professional in ptsd.
Personally, I prefer learning by myself on line (professional or semi professional videos in CZcams & reading articles. Then I try recognize what applies to me etc.
If you feel low for long or experience self harm thoughts then it’s time to get professional help ASAP.
really?you have the option of restorative justice in Israel?! in all cases of crime or just with sexual assault? this is really interesting!
its been 15 years since, do u still have ptsd?
Oh yes, totally. And I think that's pretty common. Of course they are a lot less than they used to be and less intense, but they're still there. Totally dealing with them the last couple of days too... they come and go. What about you?
@@SoulintheRaw I am not sure if I have it as I am not a victim of any sexual assault. My question was out of curiosity. I hope that one day u will come to terms with this once and for all. Thanks for your time
@@Tantemify Thank you so much for caring! And for your beautiful words. I think with PTSD, it's like with any disease or symptom. There is no way to 100% avoid it completely. It's about employing long-term strategies that help you live with it in peace and manage it well
If only all this stuff never happened in america................