You really learn who your friends are when something like this happens. Luckily by the time I got sick with RA and Yao syndrome I had a great group of friends. And being many years older, we were past the clubbing phase and wine and movies or patio at someones house is always better. I think the hard thing is wanting to do something but just not being able to function that day or week.
Gypsy1975 P i am so glad you had such a wonderful support system! I completely agree with you and it was a bit difficult because I was at the prime age where everyone wants to party and I wanted to be in bed by 9😂 but through that process I learned who was my friends were and the criteria I need for friendship. I tried to find something meaningful versus just someone to get drunk with and luckily I found a lot of keepers. Thank you for your comment!!! 💖
@@gutsofgloryandgold7374 exactly. I got sick at 19 got meds. It too time but I couldn't go out partying with my friends that wanted to and I would hear rumors of them saying "oh don't invite arica this weekend, she can't drink." I would later find out it was a 'drinking' party. By just that statement. It sucks.
Rescheduling plans though is complicated because I don't know when I'm going to feel good or not. A problem for me too is that most of my friends want to meet up to drink at night (yes, even something chill at their house) and I like to go to bed early. Even though I'm sure it would be fun to hang out, I need to take care of myself. I have anxiety and an autoimmune disease, and drinking before bed makes it worse. Sometimes I will go and not drink, but other times I just don't feel like it.
hawkchild I think it is wonderful that you still go though! Absolutely don’t drink if you aren’t interested, but making an appearance still helps that relationship with your friends remain strong! And something I like to do when making plans is to have a back up set in place specifically when it is with a one-two people because then it is more flexible. So if I can’t go out to dinner or something, people will come over to my place and we will cook or watch movies, etc. But like you mentioned, I put my health first and sometimes I need to hunker down and reboot my system. I tell my friends that and the majority of the time they offer to help me so our hangout time overlaps with a chore like grocery shopping and I have an extra set of hands to help me carry my food. I think your mindset is amazing in still trying to keep hanging out with your friends! Next time you aren’t feeling well try reaching out and see how your friends are willing to help you and I bet it will bring you closer together! All the love💜
@@gutsofgloryandgold7374 I like the idea of the backup plans. I have done that a couple times and I never realized it was a backup plan. And I like the idea about the Skype or FaceTime. It just sucks cause some people just want to text. Or whatever.
2019 was a year of lies for me trying to keep everyone from knowing that I was in pain. It will be different this year. Just telling the truth, and letting the chips fall where they may. So far I have communicated my illness to 2 friends who are so sympathetic that it surprised me.
MJ-alwayslearning I am glad you are speaking up for yourself and are building your support system. Some friends really step up to the plate of wanting to help you through and through!
Been there with friends. I had a friend who is chronically I'll like me but with different conditions and she only went off her body schedule. Never mine. She would come over unannounced at my home. And or call my phone when I tell her I was going for a nap or trying to go out to get groceries ( I don't drive and I think it's rude to be on the phone with people in the car when you are not by yourself). Eventually other things happened and I didn't see her as a friend anymore. I hate seeing friends go but I am less stressed with out her and stress is a huge trigger for me. I appreciate your video, I am always apologizing for canceling plans. I learned some tips from you. I have had friends that wanted me to be the designated driver at 21 cause they found out I couldnt drink. They didn't care why. Just that I couldn't. (It was cause of chronic illness and I was put on blood thinners for life). What?! I was mad and upset and my husband (then boyfriend at the time) told me to not be friends with them anymore. It sucks cause soon we are basically down to only a couple friends even family members who understand us. This is why I love seeing videos of others (tips, advice or even just sharing their story). It just feels like having friends or someone to connect to. I do have a question about specific events, especially for those close to us. Ex: their daughters wedding. You miss it cause you are sick. And this happened to me recently and my close friends response was "we paid a lot for you to be here". It made me feel aweful!!! I literally broke down. So how does someone like us pick ourselves up from that? What do we say?
You really learn who your friends are when something like this happens. Luckily by the time I got sick with RA and Yao syndrome I had a great group of friends. And being many years older, we were past the clubbing phase and wine and movies or patio at someones house is always better. I think the hard thing is wanting to do something but just not being able to function that day or week.
Gypsy1975 P i am so glad you had such a wonderful support system! I completely agree with you and it was a bit difficult because I was at the prime age where everyone wants to party and I wanted to be in bed by 9😂 but through that process I learned who was my friends were and the criteria I need for friendship. I tried to find something meaningful versus just someone to get drunk with and luckily I found a lot of keepers. Thank you for your comment!!! 💖
@@gutsofgloryandgold7374 exactly. I got sick at 19 got meds. It too time but I couldn't go out partying with my friends that wanted to and I would hear rumors of them saying "oh don't invite arica this weekend, she can't drink." I would later find out it was a 'drinking' party. By just that statement. It sucks.
Rescheduling plans though is complicated because I don't know when I'm going to feel good or not. A problem for me too is that most of my friends want to meet up to drink at night (yes, even something chill at their house) and I like to go to bed early. Even though I'm sure it would be fun to hang out, I need to take care of myself. I have anxiety and an autoimmune disease, and drinking before bed makes it worse. Sometimes I will go and not drink, but other times I just don't feel like it.
hawkchild I think it is wonderful that you still go though! Absolutely don’t drink if you aren’t interested, but making an appearance still helps that relationship with your friends remain strong! And something I like to do when making plans is to have a back up set in place specifically when it is with a one-two people because then it is more flexible. So if I can’t go out to dinner or something, people will come over to my place and we will cook or watch movies, etc. But like you mentioned, I put my health first and sometimes I need to hunker down and reboot my system. I tell my friends that and the majority of the time they offer to help me so our hangout time overlaps with a chore like grocery shopping and I have an extra set of hands to help me carry my food. I think your mindset is amazing in still trying to keep hanging out with your friends! Next time you aren’t feeling well try reaching out and see how your friends are willing to help you and I bet it will bring you closer together! All the love💜
@@gutsofgloryandgold7374 I like the idea of the backup plans. I have done that a couple times and I never realized it was a backup plan. And I like the idea about the Skype or FaceTime. It just sucks cause some people just want to text. Or whatever.
2019 was a year of lies for me trying to keep everyone from knowing that I was in pain. It will be different this year. Just telling the truth, and letting the chips fall where they may. So far I have communicated my illness to 2 friends who are so sympathetic that it surprised me.
MJ-alwayslearning I am glad you are speaking up for yourself and are building your support system. Some friends really step up to the plate of wanting to help you through and through!
Been there with friends. I had a friend who is chronically I'll like me but with different conditions and she only went off her body schedule. Never mine. She would come over unannounced at my home. And or call my phone when I tell her I was going for a nap or trying to go out to get groceries ( I don't drive and I think it's rude to be on the phone with people in the car when you are not by yourself). Eventually other things happened and I didn't see her as a friend anymore. I hate seeing friends go but I am less stressed with out her and stress is a huge trigger for me.
I appreciate your video, I am always apologizing for canceling plans. I learned some tips from you. I have had friends that wanted me to be the designated driver at 21 cause they found out I couldnt drink. They didn't care why. Just that I couldn't. (It was cause of chronic illness and I was put on blood thinners for life). What?! I was mad and upset and my husband (then boyfriend at the time) told me to not be friends with them anymore.
It sucks cause soon we are basically down to only a couple friends even family members who understand us. This is why I love seeing videos of others (tips, advice or even just sharing their story). It just feels like having friends or someone to connect to.
I do have a question about specific events, especially for those close to us. Ex: their daughters wedding. You miss it cause you are sick. And this happened to me recently and my close friends response was "we paid a lot for you to be here". It made me feel aweful!!! I literally broke down. So how does someone like us pick ourselves up from that? What do we say?