The Fear of Rejection
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- čas přidán 27. 08. 2024
- Hi Guys,
Something very weird recently happened in my life and I want to share that story. Sometimes we need a reminder of why something or someone isn't good for us. I look for the lesson in everything and being rejected has definitely taught me some things.
Xoxo
Richie W.
My Website: westnovelties.com
My P.O. Box Address:
Richie West
4904 S Power Rd.
Ste 103-202
Mesa, AZ 85212
E-Mail: richiewestie@gmail.com
Instagram: @Therichiewest
Twitter (18+): / therichiewest
Patreon: / therichiewest
Very wise to stay away from those "hookup" sites. There are so many mind games and manipulative folks on them. Keep pursuing your other interests and you will meet great people who share those interests, hobbies, travels, etc. You deserve much better than this, Richie.
Grindr is a hookup app. We know that in the community. We have to stop treating each other like trash on these hookup apps. You KNOW you are attractive. it is not about you, it is about them being self hating and not respecting themselves or you.
Hi billy
Great topic! What surprised me when I started using apps is that even the guys I considered "hot" were getting flaked on, ignored and blocked. But don't take counsel of what you don't know. A lot of thoughts can flood our minds when a negative result happens, don't listen to it. Some people are insecure and can't even type "sorry, you're not what I was looking for" when they're not interested. It may have been any of those things you mentioned and it could have also been that something came up suddenly in his life. The things that you told yourself to affirm yourself and move on help to keep a healthy mind.
I don't think anyone would reject you but will watch soon 😍
The lesson here is to not expect everyone to be attracted to you...even if you're really confident in yourself. 🙂
" Sometimes rejection is really redirection"
Of course you worth and deserve the best.
Feb 2024. Watching this and I relate. I’m glad you have found the silver lining after being blocked. There is a special someone out there for you who’d share his life and passions along side yours. Chin up kiddo ❤
You are on the right track with what you are doing and not connecting with you is his loss. You should be proud of where you are at in life and take solace in that. Well done, young man and a great video.
May be he recognized you and he thought it was some just using your picture. People look at you because your handsome fellow.
Richie, the way I see it is that's his loss. You are better off without him in your life. Keep up the faith and you will get through it. Best wishes, Phil
I'm glad that you have managed to overcome rejection 😊
Young people are experimenting and learning life. Always put yourself first. These people you date are second. Continue on with your normal life.
I strongly suspect that it's the "Too close to home" situation. Could easily be someone that uses the app to cheat on their SO and is afraid of running into you while with their SO who actually lives with them in the complex. You most likely dodged a messed up situation and should be happy about that.
Richie, again you are a master storyteller. So interesting. You have a teacher-mindset.
You are so right: a hookup is not friendship. That special person will be impressed with Richie West-his personal qualities, work ethic, sense of humor and yes, good looks. The hookup guy is only interested in using YOUR body for HIW OWN delight. That ain’t friendship
You are absolutely right to want to know why that guy changed his mind but his doing that shows his worth,I.e., he’s not worth your effort
And you are famous. There are thousands of people that know you and maybe that frightened him away.
I will pray that you get into that home and new place soon.
Love you. Thanks for caring for us.
He probably freaked out because he is married and doesn't want his wife to find out after finding out you are in same complex too close for comfort !!
I am sorry this happened to you. You are such a sweet and good looking guy. Be very careful when contacting people on line. I pray for you every day. Hope you will find a really great person that you can love and they will love you. Take care.
I don’t use any social media believe it or not. I am sorry you had to go through that Richie. I have a fear of rejection as well.
To thy own self be true.
I've been watching a few of your videos the past 2 or 3 days. I just stumbled upon them. So happy I did. Take care Ritchie..
This could be a lesson because regardless how attractive a person is there will never be perfection
rejection is part of life. I've come to realise that we're not owed anything, in any meta sense. Obligations only exist because we've mutually agreed on them, but it doesn't mean people will like us, or owe us good or even bad attention. A thick skin is important for life and wellbeing imho.
Richie, you shouldn't feel rejected. You're a good guy. You have come so far in your journey. Grinder can be fun site or a site that can make one not feel "worthy". I've had the same scenario. Try not to give it a thought. As always I wish you well
Wow, really mature and positive analysis of the situation. I think because of the proximity of the person to you it would be awkward to possibly get involved with someone and then not having it work out but still see each other around the building. It would be different story if it’s just to keep as an acquaintance or friend and there wouldn’t be any “sexual” tension involved. Anyway, as they say “there a lot of fish in the sea”. Stay well 👍🏻🙏😎
You could give another meaning to the word "rejection". What if we use then "mismatch of intention" for rejection? And the fact that his intentions didn't match with yours, that doesn't mean that won't match with other people too.
Hey Richie maybe he's married just don't knock yourself out!!!
Hi Richie! Understand your feeling.He knows who you are but you don't know who he is..I think it's a married man who got scared when he recognized you and was afraid of being exposed that he was on Grinder to look for guys. What if his wife found out?!So stop worrying.I agree with you to stop these apps, there are many idiots out there hunting 😣
8:54
...Wait so the Batman disguise works!
Maybe all those people just like your “swag” and sense of style! Confidence attracts attention. 💪. And yeah, Grindr sucks, no matter what you look like and what you can offer.
Don't worry Buddy Ginger's Definitely Rule. Your Beautiful 👍
Is anyone other than me extremely jealous he lasted to this age to only feel completely rejected just once?
Living and Learning,Richie.It's always for us to grow.Don't you forget that there's a huge line of guys out there,waiting and wanting to meet you for what you are.I'm just sitting down here and watching that to happen.Love you from Brazil.
I get blocked alot on grindr too because im so feminine and mostly some people find me ugly. sometimes we can just accept the fact that we cannot attract alot of people we talk to and move on from it. yes it hurts and its easy to say but hard to move forward from rejection,but it hurts more if u just overthink about it.
@@jag92949 yes, alot of masc also wants masc, i understnd that coz thats the point of being gay, being attracted to musculinity. that is why i accept how hard it is for us feminine gays to find a date let alone hook ups. and i didn’t say Richie isn’t masc enough, the point is, we can’t please other people, we can only be ourselves. and like u said the app is for the musc guys, and if he wants to play with the hook up culture or even get dates on that app, he has to go to the gym and build blocky muscles coz thats the only way he’ll score there.
@@jag92949 I didnt call him feminine. even if he is musculine, apparently he isn’t buff enough to please guys around him, that’s why he got blocked. thats good for u if u dont have to go to the gym and u still manage to get a hook up. what’s your point exactly? Im confused as to where you’re leading me 😅
@@jag92949 he has to if he wants higher market chance, but it isnt necessary yet he’ll get the consiquences, not every guy are like you, you have to accept the fact that there are more shollow people than deep ones especially on a hook up app.
Sorry, swesathart, that you felt so bad. Unfortunately some people loose totaly their good manners as soon they go online. I do agree with all you said, how you should behave online. But at least I know life is different. But for sure you are not reponsable, when somebody else behaves like an ... . When it happens to me, and it happens to everybody, I just think, good I have not invested more time in this guy!
Have a great weekend, I love your content.
Richie, you needn't worry about the foolish behavior of one sad person. Your subscribers, including me, all like you very much, or we wouldn't be subscribers. I look forward to seeing more of your house 🏠 hunting adventures.
Some people just want to get photos
Richie... I did hear u say once that you thought yourself to be more attractive than some guy u were engaging with. I cannot remember the context. But I was shocked that u said that. This guy may have seen that video and said to himself that he was not going to risk being one of those that u considered yourself to be better looking than?? Can u blame him for being scared of you!!
nice vid ... its an up and down in life ... there are good time´s and bad time´s .... but live goe´s on.... no matter how old u are...cu
Probably too close. He wanted an anonymous hook up. His pic may not have been him. My ex accused me of being on Grindr as there is a construction worker who supposedly lives near me on Grindr. He was knocking on my door thinkin this hookup is me based on the distance and our jobs.
You have level head on your shoulders, and lot of God-given wisdom. Your life is a open book that helps and encourages other people. Keep bing who you are, the blessing that you are.
Ah....Richie... Maybe It Wasn't Rejection At All??? He got scared because he knew you or you were just too close??
I am guessing it was grindr, but social apps are like
Maybe just have a conversation until they ask for a photo. Apps may just may not be for you.
Where else can you meet guys in a healthy environment ?
1. You are young, charming, poised and attractive; exuding confidence. Those attributes and your energy always attract attention.
2. You are a handsome “ginger” who automatically attracts attention…yes, people love gorgeous gingers!
3. Plausible Possibilities for “rejection” are: That person is underage. That person is “straight”, or married, and doesn’t want to be outed or he is threatened by your close proximity. That person is very “fat, ugly, old” and lacks confidence. That person could be your building manager and doesn’t want to lose his job. There are MANY possible explanations and none of them are about you being inferior, undesirable, or less-than. Sending you positive energy and love from Bangkok Thailand. 😊
Richie you are Out Proud & living life on your terms. He is living life on the down low so it was never gonna work long term. I don't think this should be a reason to move out. I got blocked by a guy who lived in my building and I'm still here baby!!!
I met my partner on that site. It will be 5 years this year. It can happen.
Maybe his own inadequate feelings made him feel he was totally out of his league and it scared him and without a thought he blocked you. Nothing to blame on your side at all. Celebrity scares a lot of people
It is kind of creepy that the guy didn’t identify himself and you are right to feel uneasy. Also, I am surprised that you were rejected 😳.
Richie, I wonder if this person possibly felt intimidated when he realized who he was talking to? Oh well, who knows what this person was thinking so don't let this get you down anymore than it already has. I think someone who watches your CZcams channel would know that you are a kind and caring person and would be happy to at least be friends with you. It's his loss, not yours.
I enjoy these visits with you. It would not surprise me if the silence was a reaction from someone lacking confidence, maturity, not knowing how to react well and deal with a very attractive dude. Hopefully for him with time he gets his s..t together. All the best!
I understand how it felt like rejection, which sucks no matter the reason. You can accept the feeling but keep talking yourself out of the negativity. His reason for blocking you is unimportant. He isn't and never was for you. I don't think I have ever heard 1 good Grindr story. Stay away from it Hun. It's not worth it.
People look at you because you are magnetic! You have a beautiful soul wrapped up in a beautiful body! Continue to walk proud and confident! IF this person were to see you somewhere, very unlikely, don't stress about it. You have nothing to feel ashamed or insecure of. Xoxo monica
You need two things when you use Grindr: 1: a phone 2: thick skin.
You will never know why someone ghosts you or blocks you. Never. It used to bother me. Now it doesn't. You might be the hottest guy out there, but you might not be the other guy's "type." In my case, I don't like super-muscle guys. To most, they are attractive. So, if I don't pursue a chat, it's simply because the guy isn't what I am looking for.
Guys are amazingly mean on Grindr. I think some are projecting the rejection they have felt from others. Others may not be empathetic enough to realize there is an actual person they are dealing with. If you met at a bar and someone saw you, they would never turn around and just walk out. They would treat you with courtesy. The same rules don't apply online, unfortunately.
Lastly, I try to treat everyone with courtesy. I always reply - even if I am not remotely interested. Then, I will make up an excuse, "Checking mail" or "Headed out of town." so guys don't feel too rejected.
Thanks Richie..I can perfectly understand how you feel.
Rejection is awful..but you are right in what you say about yourself and you can be proud of who you are.. honest and hardworking and most of lovable.. I can tell from what you say that you care about others.. and I do hope you find a perfect partner one day..you will. Good luck in finding a new apartment. Lots of love...xxx😍🤩😘🤗
Agree it could be any of the reasons you mentioned. Strongly suspect the too-close-to-home reason, neighbor recognized you and realized you're in his building or complex. I wouldn't get involved via that app with anyone in my building, that could have consequences that don't exist when you distance your activities off-premises only. One other possibility: he may have thought your profile was a fake, thinking you couldn't possibly be the real Richie West (who he recognized from your public forums) sending him the photo. There's a massive amount of fake profiles, and falsified GPS locations, infesting those apps.
Good video
I wouldn’t t worry about it too much it’s his loss! 🤷🏻♂️ and like a famous drag queen once said water off a ducks back ❤️
I can't believe all of the thought processes you went through in the last 5 minutes or so of the video, as a result of a SINGLE REJECTION. A classic case-study in over-thinking, which as you correctly identify comes from a place of low self esteem.
My suggestion to you, in addition to what you say about pursuing your hobbies and career path, is actually to expose yourself to more rejection. Much more. Keep on using G****r, and keep trying to chat to guys. You will keep on being rejected by some of them, perhaps most of them, and blocked by them. You will feel the pain of this. But you will come out stronger, and more used to rejection - it will lose its capacity to hurt you - and it will also teach you that it is you who is responsible for providing your own self esteem, not anybody else. And, actually, that real self esteem is implicit - it should not and does not come from your own achievements, but is yours from birth should you choose this to be the case.
I've been rejected by thousands of guys on Grindr, and blocked certainly by hundreds. I no longer care at all about it. It's like letting the trash take itself out for me.
Hum ? It's always how you look at it. My first reaction, listening to your story, was not a matter of rejection of you but more a matter of being scared of you. The fisrt thing very important in this story is to understand that he is expressing a feeling about himself... not about you. He does not know you so why would you think he is rejecting you. As you said, this app is full of weird persons. Why would you pay attention to this individual. You know better Richie. Move on.
He probably blocked you because he thought you were a fake profile sending pictures that were not yours. The picture might have seemed "too good to be true" to him. Or he really knew "the actor in the picture" from some video and he was just sure that someone was just using the picture. Maybe he recognized you and it was hard to believe that it was really you. It must have felt as an impossible coincidence.
I think possibly you are spending far too much effort turning someone else’s problem into your own. I think disappointment is about as far as you should let it go. No need for all the self doubt. It’s not even really rejection it’s possibly just them being scared. Many go on the app not actually looking to meet up and when presented by the very real possibility from someone so close they may well run away rather than try to think up excuses.
bc you're too hot to be real. They thought you are catfish. that's it
chasing the dragon never ever ever works.....#FML...#NoMoreTinder
big kiss from Morocco !
But I'm married. So lol. No such luck
For older guys, I love older guys but I don’t know how to reach to you.
You’d be a great catch for some lucky man. I think that date apps are 99% rejections. Don’t read too much into what someone says to you or blocks you etc. I think this guy might have been afraid of you, you were probably too good looking and he was afraid of being rejected by YOU! Look at it that way. I wouldn’t delete an app because of what one person said to me or blocked me. When you do something like that…then you are allowing a stranger to control your thoughts and actions! Stay on line, have fun with it!
I am sure he didn’t block you because he didn’t find you attractive. He’s probably a pic collector and got what he wanted and moved on. I can’t imagine any good looking guy rejecting you. Don’t let it affect your confidence because he’s the one with a lack of confidence.
This was the most boring story ever
right? and dude's not even interacting or checking the messages lol in the video he was like "tell me what you think" blah blah blah lol all of this is so fake
Hi Richie, I enjoyed the video. I am interested in hearing more about your sense of spirituality and faith. You often allude to it in your videos, and you often wear a cross. How does your faith and spirituality inform your work in the adult industry?
Hi Richie
Sorry I accidentally closed the live chat
I tried to get back to it but the messages deleted
Send u message on your channel
La vida es una lucha por un sueno sin buscar aceptación
Dam he really thinks he’s something special lol
Im the master of being rejected, if a guy keeps talking with me after i show him my pic then i will be shocked🤣
You’re adorable
He is married!
Off topic, but I kinda saw you somewhere 😃🔫
Sounds like you would really like me. Lol. Older and bigger. And I'm decent looking.
You are way over-thinking this.
Richie , you over reacted. So you have a gay neighbor , he might have just visiting the complex , you really do not need to worry. Richie It Seems like you over thinking
You are famous on CZcams .
You just have to enjoy you are locally famous.
Ritchie, sorry to hear you got rejected, and that you spiraled over the million possible reasons. As far as being famous in Phoenix, yeah that may be a bit fanciful, though some members of the gay community in Phoenix may have seen you. Most people may stare at you, simple because you're still young and attractive, not because of CZcams. When I was your age, I got a lot of attention from people, and some nearly snapped their necks turning their heads to watch me go by. Try to enjoy the attention while it lasts, because it does end. :(
Richie the man is a creeper. It’s good you did not hookup with him. You know Richie he probably do know who you are. Hay don’t worry about him. His loss. Keep your head up. He has a problem.
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
This is funny. You're TOO sensitive....always the first to get needy. He just blocked you, darling....get over it! That said, I admire the introspection. It's in everything that you do; in all your stories.