how to con your borzoi into taking a bath
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- čas přidán 7. 11. 2023
- a step by step guide on how to con a borzoi, the most wily mythical creature naturally occurring on this planet, into thinking they themselves wanted a bath. a bath that will reveal and cleanse all of their secrets leaving them to ponder ‘wtf just happened to me’
Normally, vertical videos bother me, but this is obviously the correct aspect ratio for a borzoi.
U sir have won this comment section
Allow me to humbly congratulate u
You know, normally that bothers me, didn't even notice it til this comment.
I didn’t even notice it wash verticals it worked so well!!!
@@xostler reading your comment just fried a synapse or two in my brain
If your borzoi is white in color, you can expect your borzoi to be green in color after a bath due to rolling in the first grass they see. Best to sacrifice a rug to them to roll on unless you fancy a grass-green borzoi.
I mean, if that's an option....
Green borzoi sounds good
I'd love a green borzoi
LOL
😂😂😂
Borzoi curses can be deadly. Take care, stranger.
Their cursing vocabulary is extensive.
@@Chris.starfleet Ayyyy curse puns
I absolutely love this women's description of her dogs, so creative.
If you ever find yourself in the company of a Maine Coon, be prepared to be outwitted by this feline's regal demeanor and shrewd glances. These gentle giants of the cat world are as enigmatic as they are large, with tufted ears that crown their head like a lynx and a ruff of fur that frames their face in majestic fashion. Their fur, a dense waterproof cloak, can vary from a tabby's stripes to a solid cloak of mystery, and their bushy, plumed tails could sweep the mysteries of the forest floor behind them.
When it comes to grooming such a noble beast, you'll need more than just an ordinary brush; you'll need an arsenal suited for a king. Start with offerings of the finest salmon or a game of feathered wand to gain their august favor. Then, as you gently comb through their luxurious mane, be sure to unravel the secrets knotted within their thick undercoat. But beware, the Maine Coon's intellect is such that they might just have you believing it was they who decided it was time for a grooming, not you.
Bathing a Maine Coon is no small feat-it requires the strategy of a chess master and the patience of a saint. They may grace you with their tolerance, but only for a moment, so be swift and thorough. Once bathed, they expect to be dried to the fluffiness of a cumulus cloud; nothing less will satisfy their high standards.
And let not their size fool you, for the Maine Coon is as agile and playful as any of their smaller kin. Their powerful muscles allow them to leap with the grace of a ballet dancer, their large paws patting at the air with the precision of a maestro. In their wake, expect a whirlwind of energy, for the Maine Coon lives life with a vigor that fills the room.
But even with their grandeur, these cats have a tender side, showing a loyalty and affection that wraps around their human companions like a warm embrace. They'll commandeer your lap as their throne and purr with a rumble deep enough to echo through the halls of Valhalla. In their presence, you'll find a companion both noble and nurturing, a cat not just living in your home, but reigning over it with a gentle paw.
- GPT-4 via Phind
In the realm of feathered scribes, the African Grey parrot reigns supreme, their eloquence rivaling the bards of old. With a gaze that pierces through the veil of the mundane, these parrots carry the wisdom of the ancients in their slate-colored cloaks and the fire of intellect in their bright red tails. African Greys have a penchant for mimicry that could easily be mistaken for an attempt at conversation or even a foray into the literary arts.
To engage with an African Grey is to dance a delicate waltz of wits and whimsy. One must approach with a respectful offering-perhaps a favored nut or a shiny trinket-to earn their esteemed attention. Once you have captivated their curious spirit, prepare to be enchanted by their vocal prowess. With a voice that can weave tales as vividly as any human tongue, they may recite your own words back to you, or perhaps invent a melody so intricate it seems they must have a maestro hidden within their chest.
The African Grey's abode is a canvas of their intellect, each toy a testament to their problem-solving skills, and every perch a throne from which they survey their domain. These feathered philosophers contemplate the world with a depth that belies their size, and their nests are not mere shelters but bastions of comfort, each twig and fiber placed with the precision of an architect.
In their company, you will find yourself both teacher and student, as they learn from your behavior and you from their responses. Their capacity for understanding and their ability to discern the nuances of human speech are nothing short of miraculous. They may not hold a quill, but their ‘writing’ is in the artistry of their existence, the careful study of their human companions, and the intricate patterns of their communication.
As stewards of such intelligent creatures, we must provide not only for their physical needs but for their mental enrichment as well. The African Grey parrot is not a mere pet but a lifelong companion, a creature that demands respect and offers in return an unending wellspring of fascination and joy. In their presence, we are reminded that the beauty of writing is not limited to the page-it can be found in the cadence of a voice, the architecture of a nest, and the silent wisdom held within a parrot's knowing eyes.
There were multiple of them?! :O
@@Taizunxshe has multiple dogs
@@mozkk.sillyfr_ "this women's"
Maybe it’s just the fact that it’s 2 in the morning right now and my sense of humor is impaired by a lack of sleep, but this is genuinely the hardest I’ve ever laughed at a dog video.
9 year old humor
@@Redcloudsrocksif it makes you happy, do you need more?
Haters Hating @@Redcloudsrocks
Exactly. 9 year olds have a real sense of humor. Most adults think that for something to be a "joke" it has to be be crass and stupid@@Redcloudsrocks
@@Redcloudsrocks What do you find humorous?
Instructions unclear: borzoi turned into a long soggy pasta noodle
*long doggy
lmao
Working as intended, ready for step 2.
Post-bath existential crisis! 😅😅😅😅😅😅
it’s for real; my bully experiences this haha
@@00zarzu00 oh my god, you mean bully a bulldog/bull terrier I straight up thought you meant a human who was bullying you and you were roasting them for a couple of seconds lmfao
*extistential
@@rleriche5044 Well, no. Existential,” as spelled in first comment of mine. Unless you want to make up a new word, which you can and I’m sure Cleo would approve.
@@MadameM. 1:04 🤭
The longest faces require the strongest wills.
what a lovely horse
1:09 - and thats when you flop down next to your borzoi and ask *_"Hey, why the long face??"_*
Post-path existential crisis, then the bath was successful LMAO
Edit: The 1 downvote was the Borzoi
The back end...it's where they hide their secrets!! 😂😅
Lmaooo I died at this part
The side-eye in the thumbnail is enviable.
I so enjoy your commentary. It's at least as enjoyable as looking at your dogs. Thanks for the chuckles, laughs, and loud guffaws!
Came here to say this. I love this channel
i love that everyone inexplicably agrees that all borzois tell riddles
"let me do it for you"
oh my god his face at the end, you aren't kidding
Reminds me of Edward Gorey's drawings. Come to think of it, that's probably where borzois come from. They escaped from Gorey drawings.
My Aunt Catherine was a model in NY back in the day, and she owned the famous Wolfshmidt Vodka borzois. I had no idea they were famous until I checked out some books from the library on borzois and they were in the books!! Beautiful dogs. Gentle and sweet, and SO gorgeous. Their names were Lady and Baron Wolfshmidt. They lived to a ripe old age. They have thousands of descendants
Borzoi are great dogs
This feels so much like the jenna marbles dog content we've been craving for the past years. Just hilarious, chef kiss!
A wonderful day to all 🌻
I don’t have a borzoi, I use to have a sassy Pitbull who hated baths. Took her to a charity dog event where they were bathing dogs for money. Cost $25 and she looked and smelled incredible afterwards. I then decided to take her to the park…….where she then casually rolled in 💩
Had her for 12 yrs and miss her everyday.
My condolences 💐 😔🙏🏽
They're such beautiful creatures.
Excellent essay on the bathing of the Borzoi!
Seriously, that was some well-written humor there. Nicely done.
Having had two Borzois, I can confirm, all of this is true. And utterly adorable! 💙
was the lucky owner of Pavla of Phantom Lake. from a little puppy to a 14 year old sweetheart. i didn't think i'd ever get over her passing. actually, i guess i haven't. :{
im a cat person so i often forget how Shaped -dogs- wily mythical creatures get. 10/10 could con a borzoi if i needed to
I think my favorite element of your videos is the absolute weariness in your voice. You have accepted your fate. 😆
Where do they hide their stash of borzoi gold, and how can you teach your children not to fall for thier borzoi tricks and schemes?
I'm constantly amazed that Borzois are real dogs, and I can only hope I'm worthy to meet one someday.
The dogs are gorgeous, obviously, but it's the "if Aubrey Plaza commentated Westminster" that I'm here for.
awww he is just a widdle guy
PLEASE tell me this is a jacksepticeye reference
@@corpsedevil yes it is
Sounds like a Borzoi really is a cat that just heavily resembles a dog in appearance. 😉
Awesome guide btw. 😂
“a cloud the lord made and brought down to earth” 🤣
I love 'zois so much and I wish I had the livingspace to care for one. But alas, I will have to make-do with videos on these russian wizards.
The sarcasm is awesome.
Now that was funny & started my day off with a chuckle & smile! Thank you. A friend had one of these dogs & it had such a loving funny personality.
Love the humour. Cheers Rosemary Western Australia 73yrs
Thank you for your videos, not like anyone else (thankfully) you are awesome 😊
P.S. it doesn't hurt that both pups are insanely cute ❤
“It is against the Borzoi’s nature to listen to you so you’ll have to bribe them.”
I’LL TAKE THE PETSTORE’S ENTIRE STOCK.
This is the content I love.
Commentary and knowledge of her pet was uncanny ❤.
Borzoi was Bamboozled
Yes another Borzoi channel. I love this breed of dog. They are so awesome and adorable.
Hilarious, thank you! This is what I needed for New Years Eve! Happy New Year 🎉
LOL, just wanted the chicken, fooled again! Why can't baths be like a muddy algea pool they love jumping into, to look like a swamp beast and smell even better right?
A VERY LONG FLOOF. MOST ADORABLE. ❤❤❤
The narration & video = perfection.
Perfect narration!
I love to imagine a borzoi having a post-bath existential crisis. What would it even be about, I wonder. Haha.
See other dog; smell other dog. No smell self. Is self?
Love your creative mind and your doggies❤
Snake horsey needs to get a watering.
You are so very lucky to have been chosen. I’m extremely envious but guilt free. ❤
Hahaahaa!! Killer thumbnail, dat side-eye... "I used to trust you... well, no more!"
This was absolutely delightful
she was such a good snoobie getting in that baff all by her selp
I love borzois! What an adorable doggo you have!
Hehehe I love this AND your Borzoi ❤
Thanks for the step by step 😁
You missed out the part where the dog finds the dirtiest smelliest piece of rug, carpet or towel in the house and promptly goes for a floor-swim on it after the bath.
I bet this borzoi is really good at getting that last Pringle out of the tube.
The pink towel over the borzoi upped the adorableness.
this video brings me cheer and joy. gracias
I love it so much) Thank you)
And on the eighth day God created the Borzoi. God needed a day's rest due to the Borzoi needing to be the most perfect and demanding of all canines.
Really, really funny video and the dog is gorgeous!
"secret sauce"
Thank you for sharing your knowledge of borzoi-caretaking
If they don't look like a wet rat, then you did it wrong.
Great line!
I'm so glad you have a firm grasp on Borzoi personality traits they could easily send you to another dimention if they did not respect you, great job please keep us informed of the Borzoi and the wind hound
Beautiful animal, I’ve Never in my life heard of this breed.
They used to be called Russian Wolfhounds. Maybe you’ve heard of them with that name?
this is gold
The Borzoi has no owners or masters.
They own whoever they live with.
Like cats. Just ten times bigger.
The sulking afterwards is such a dog thing to do omg my german shepherd is very much like that as well 😂😂😭🩷
"Let me do it for you."
Thanks, I needed that . 😎👍
LMBO! Thank you, love the video.
That is hilarious! Thank you
Great video, very funny. The face in the thumbnail is like "I know what you're trying to do.."
This is so chill, borzoi life is so tough, can’t help but love ❤️ borzois
Well done!
Too funny❤. That thumbnail is priceless.
I’m a pet groomer. We had a Borzoi that came in every 8 weeks. Her name was Symphony and she was an angel for her bath, blow dry, nails, and everything thing else we did. We all absolutely adored her. She would always walk in like the queen of the salon! She passed last year but I always think of her when I see a Borzoi.
Brilliant. Thank you.
You're really funny, Lady. Thanks
You're good!!
Lol, funny and I think true as I don’t have a Borzoi.
The writing for this was absolutely 💯
You must have enough coin to buy Borzoi wares. 😆
Werner Herzog type beat
Hahaha, sounds exactly like a saluki.
great video
This is a good video for me to watch.
Their eyes, they just seem awkward in any situation 😭
So interesting how this breed has such a long snout and slender build...
Seems to be a perfectly acceptable procedure.
This may be my favorite one: it’s difficult to tell.
Bless the Precious Borzoi ❤
That is the most epic side eye I've ever seen.
Very helpful tutorial, 5 out of 5 stars would recommend to a friend
i love how i can't tell where the back and the front is
Great recipe.
the side-eye in the thumbnail...[chefs kiss].
Love how they look like a different dark souls boss at every point in the process