feeling lost at 29… but it's okay

My late 20s have been a confusing turmoil of emotions with abrupt changes, mental health struggles, existential thoughts, burning out, quitting the career I was building, and losing myself in the process. Now, at the age of 29, I feel lost.
Many of us find ourselves in this position over and over again throughout life, seeking some kind of clarity and direction. And this time I'm embracing it, for a change. So bear with me as I try to find myself again amidst all the uncertainty.
“The Fig Tree” from “The Bell Jar” by Sylvia Plath:
“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”
🌸 / unlovelyrita
📖 / unlovelyrita
☕ Wanna donate a coffee? :)
ko-fi.com/unlovelyrita
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00:00 spring in Berlin
02:07 feeling lost
05:00 going away for a while
06:26 travelling with the kitties
08:27 do I regret quitting my job?
10:10 it's okay to feel lost
12:05 being indecisive
13:40 the fig tree
15:18 so...what's next?
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🎼 All songs in this video are from Epidemic Sound. Sign up for a 30-day free trial here: share.epidemicsound.com/y68fe0
📷 Equipment I use
camera: Fujifilm xt-4
lens: Fujifilm XF 18-55mm F1.8 & Fujifilm XF 23mm F2
microphone: Rode VideoMicro Compact On-Camera Mic
editing & color grading: DaVinci Resolve
feeling lost at 29... but it's okay | weekly vlog | berlin vlog
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