COUPLE'S Q&A / all about marriage and parenting
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 17. 11. 2022
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As a grandma looking back we didnât have social media not even cell phones and date nights werenât even a pressure. I wish I could tell young parents to not stress about not having time to go out together. Our dates were getting up early together and having our coffee together. Sometimes even then one or more early riser would join us , time passes quickly and before you know it youâll be empty nesters and have all the time you want together and youâll be glad for the time you had all together as a family .I love you two your cute and funny đâ€
Great advice! Thank you for that
i love this advice thank youđ
What time do we have to
I wouldn't stress too much about "date nights". Honestly, they were invented by your generation - us older folks managed to spend time together without having to go out on a date. Sometimes we go out together or with another couple or group of friends and sometimes we stay home together (much more often as we get older). Sometmes we cook together or do a project together like planting flowers or doing our income taxes, or going for a ride on our golf cart. It's the simple , everyday things that matter, not going somewhere , doing something that costs money.
Love that! Wise words! Thank you
"You only have the right to be hard on one person in your life and that's yourself." đŻ I like when your husband shares his nuggets of wisdom on here!â
That's exactly why I follow you. I like the simple, Godly, wholesome content you create. Your channel is a breath of fresh air. I know that if I watch your channel, I'm not going to be watching a bunch of sinful behavior from everyone. As Christians, we are supposed to be guarding ourselves and we're supposed to be careful with what we consume - that includes what we watch and what we listen to. When I watch your channel (and the other Mennonite channels that I follow) I feel like I can actually let my guard down.
Great vlog & itâs great to hear Nolanâs perspective, as well. Iâm in my 7th decade & am so pleased to see you young couplesâ faith as a foundation for your whole lives. Many blessings to your family for continued good health & happinessđ€đđšđŠ
I love hearing you all talk about deeper subjects. You both have a lot of wisdom for your age. Iâd love to see and hear more of Nolan as well! Thanks for the video!
I always love the videos you do where you're both so open and honest. Marriage is beautiful but can be tough too. As humans, we do have moods and such. It's just so nice to see REAL couples in the midst of so many fake people. Thanks for sharing your lives with us đ
I like how Nolan is so humble and sweet!
I so enjoy how you make your Christian values understandable and how you demonstrate your faith through your vlogs. I have been around Mennonite communities all of my life but only since watching your channel have I been able to see these individuals as people who I have so much in common with. Your âmission fieldâ is your listeners. Thank you for the sacrifice of your time.
Thank you for that! I'm glad we can help bridge that gap so we don't appear so foreign to others đ
I enjoyed your wholesome Q&A session. Nolan has such depth and sincerity. It was so good to hear his thoughts. You are such great parents. I've never seen such a happy boy as Zander is. Lexie is absolutely adorable. When you answered the question as to how you will teach your children to love and serve Him, you said it is your desire to live in a way that they'll see and feel His love. That is so very good and I pray your walk with the Lord will do just that...lead them to a deep and personal walk with the Lord. God bless and keep your family close to Him.
P.S. Thank you for introducing Raquel Witmer to me. I LOVE her.
Nolan has a lot of wisdom. Thank you both for your family values and your desire to show them, and that it can be done with Godâs help, I n this world we live in!
Thank you for sharing this video. You both are so honest, and I love the way you both finished each others answersâș It's so True, when God says you marry, and you become one. You compliment one another beautifully! I pray God continues to bless your marriage, and your family! đđ
Thank you and blessings to you as well!
Letâs all remember âdate nightsâ is a new trend. I have only started hearing about them in the last 10 years. Donât feel bad if it is not happening for you. It is a new concept like â gender reveal partyâs and prom proposalsâ etc.
As a much older couple, I would say that too much pressure is put on young couples today to go on dates. We always found a little bit of time for each other where we could. When the kiddos were small tots it would be after they were in bed. As they got older we did more family fun things together but we both enjoyed that time. Once the kiddos were grown and gone we probably spent more time going away for a fun adventure together. Nowadays we are so old that we enjoy watching television together each night. I have poor health so my husband spends a lot of time taking care of me and doing the chores around the house. I do what I can but he is the main carer here. We are still best friends and talk about everything. We donât travel much as itâs too difficult for me. We enjoy swimming in our pool and chatting over coffee. I am so grateful for him.
I love your videos đ I have ADHD and usually have to have something going on in the background in order to be productive, and listening to you guys or watching your adventures makes me feel so nice inside lol
You guys always have something impactful to say that I can really relate to and learn from. And youâre right! People do crave the simple family lifestyle, you just donât see it as much these days!
Just wanna say thank you for what you do and I am looking forward to more! đ„°
I will miss you, but I do hope that you return soon. You are an intelligent woman. Authentic and inspiring. I especially love your home renovation. Your husband seems so supportive. Above everything your health, family, and your love to Our LORD Jesus. Thank you for being such a great woman. Thank you for sharing on travel tips, etc.
Would be totally supportive of whatever choice you make on keeping up the vlog. Your family is precious and you can never get these days back.
I just love seeing the two of you together and how you work at your relationship. Some people think that relationships just go along without work and that's not the case at all. I appreciate seeing you all keeping it real and I can see the love you have for one another. đ„°
You are both such rare gems for the CZcams world! Thank you for all you do!
We do love hearing from Nolan as well. He does have a lot of wisdom and I learn from him. Ty Jeannine for the example you are. I really hope you keep doing you tube. I love your channel and your sweet family. Be blessed friend.
Well, I lost my husband of almost 59 years a few months ago and I can truthfully say that I do not remember ever having a âDate Nightâ ever for just the two of us while our children were still at home. After our nest was empty we did have lots of nights out with just the two of us! But, having said that we both missed having our family all togetherâŠHow I wish I had just one more Hug, One more Date Night etc. but God chose to take him before me and my life changed drastically! Now I make it with Godâs helpâŠEnjoy each other to the fullest! Godâs BlessingsâŠAlways enjoy your videosâŠ
May condolences Barbra, may his memory be eternal ++
Date night for us was eating supper alone after the kids were in bed . Putting the kids to bed and having an actual conversation!!! LOL ! Sit outside weather permitting!!! When our kids were growing up there wasnât this date night stuff . It was grab moments how and when you can ! Both husband and wife have to prioritize each other so you find ways to get moments together. I have to focus on what Gods word says about me and how I am supposed to be . Oh I am right there with you !!! My wording can be not great too !!!!! I watch because I love seeing a young Christian family !!! Itâs wonderful to see a faith filled young family showing others the love of Christ and one another!!!
Thank you for that! I know I think we put a lot of undue pressure on ourselves at times. Thanks for the encouragement
Thanks both of you for your genuineness!đ
Nolen, I like to see your input because you have a different view point from a woman's viewpoint. Not that you have answers for all questions, but you do have a voice to share with others. It's a voice of discernment.
Really appreciate both your honesty and transparency in this
You both are a inspiration to me. Thank you so much !! God bless your little family :)
I really enjoyed hearing your perspective on self esteem! I completely agree with what you shared, thank you!
Another great Q nA from the both of you!!! Thank you for being willing to be open like this and share your thoughts, such an inspiration to us!!! God bless you and your family!!!
Noel is an insightful and aware husband; what a blessing. Another wonderful video. Thanks for sharing. Hello to Xander and Lexie.
Thanks to both of you for sharing. It will be great to see more of Nolan. đ
yay! I canât wait to watch now while me toddler naps!! your channel is a huge inspiration for me. thank you đđđđđ
Thanks for being here!
Both my husband and me are early birds. Our son once said to us "Mom, you and Dad are the same when you get up as when you go to bed". He always has to have his coffee, etc. before he wants anyone to talk to him. We start conversing when we get up.
That's so convenient! đ
Thanks for this content !! When people get critical , most often it just shows that they are not happy about their own lives . Stay courageous! Family would be my draw back , definitely!! God Bless !!
Enjoyed this so much!! Looking forward to more videos like this!!
I enjoyed your video. It's always nice seeing the 2 of you together, with a cameo appearance from Xander. Looking forward to future videos. You are blessed.
Wise husband and wife! Love your family for being real and showing how we need Jesus to help us. Always. Even while helping each other. In 55 yrs I'm learning if we focus on Jesus, others and self last; we become a more joyful person overall.
Thank you for this video it is encouraging to know that people do value and work at a loving marriage and happy family life.
You guys are so wise and godly, I wish my husband and I had someone like you guys in our life â€ïž love these kinds of videos. God bless you
It's always nice to get to know our utube people more....you are a great couple and looks like you are doing things right. There will be lots of date nights when the children are grown - they sadly won't always want to be with you as they get older. So spend your time with them while you can. And I have to mention that I have never noticed before how much Zander looks like his dad! Wow!! Spitting image :)
Great topics,wise answers. Looking forward to more of Nolan.
Your Oberholtzer genes shine through when you laughđ
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We do a date night switch off with another couple. We each get a date night once a month and it's been a huge blessing in our life. None of us feel guilty for dropping the kids off and going out
Nor should anyone feel guilty about NOT doing that, is the point.
Love your honesty and itâs wonderful to see that you both have a deep love for each. You have beautiful family and as long as you follow your Lord and seek His direction you will continue to prosper in you marriage. đđđđđđ
â€Thanks so much for sharing! Great video Jeanine!! Sending love & prayers đ„°đđ»â€ïž
I greatly appreciate your honesty.
I really enjoy when you two do these. I love watching you both interact. Our world desperately needs more parents who operate within the boundaries Christ has given male and female. These videos are encouraging and uplifting. Thank you so much!
Love hearing from you both!đ
Great Advice! Thank you for sharing đ
Great video! Love your family, and you both are amazing parents with exceptional children!
You are so sweet in I love how your son just patiently waitâs for you to be finished â€
How fun, loved the visit. God bless you all during the Advent season.
I love watching your Videos, you are a Beautiful Family and I Love seeing Zander and Lexi and watching them Grow.
I am among those that definitely enjoy when you have Nolan on đ
Even though Iâm single, I appreciated this video. You both have found a tremendous mission field on CZcams, by living and sharing anabaptist teaching to your subscribers and the entire world. God bless you both and keep up your work!
Thank you.
a video of PURE LOVE AND INSPIRATION
Good evening from Texas just love your videos weâve been married 40 years and I believe what youâve been saying is so true love you and may God bless youâ€
đ„° đ I loved the session with the two of you.. Nolan was on to something with the topic of self image; self esteem...I myself struggled with this in my teens unto my mid thirties. For the past year I have been listening to Elisabeth Elliot's podcasts in her CZcams channel. I'm in agreement with her thoughts on this issue. What a faithful woman she was!
I'll have to look her up!
@@theMennoniteMom I recently heard of her, her story is very courageous
Love Nolanâs Swiss mugđ„°
I agree with you. I am really grateful that I have can be a mother to my two children.
Wonderful video. Thank you and your husband for sharing. It helps having views and input that can add to an individual's view of life events. God Bless you and your family.
I really appreciate your humility. None of us have it together. If we did, we wouldn't need the Lord.
I truly appreciate the authenticity of these videos and the desire to keep growing.
The first video I ever watched was when you cleaned up the whole house because your mother-in-law was coming over. And there I was schooled up. I like your videos n skills you have and just enjoy watching your life through here. Love the content
When I started to watch your sweet channel, I was not a Christian, although I did believe in God. Since then lots have changed and I am now a stay at home Christian wife and mother †I strongly believe that The Lord used you and your husband among others to shine like lights in my darkness that made me come to Christ. For that I am ever so thankful and I wanted you to know what goodness The Lord has been able to bring through this platform. Not only that, but during one of your Q&Aâs your husband spoke of the Anabaptists and that led me to search and I find my way of walk in the faith.
We are many that would miss you here on CZcams, but if you do decide to move on we all would support you. Being a wife and a mother is the greatest and most blessed role women have been given by God, so we should always put that first. If you one day step down from here, walk away knowing that it bore fruit †May God bless you and your loved ones â€
Hello Anna! You have no idea how much your message meant to me and I praise God you have found Him in your search for truth! I do plan to take a break as I'm uploading a video explaining why today... however it's messages like yours that make me want to continue and so far we do plan to do so but want a small break to make sure we understand our goals and boundaries with youtube. Thank you for being here and may God bless you as you continue to serve Him and grow in faith!
@@theMennoniteMom Thank you for your kind words â€ïž May God bless you and guide you to the right choice. To take a step back and ask the Lord for guidance is the right way to go. You will be missed but more than that, I and many others, will always carry the blessings that God has given thru this channel. Happy new Year and again, God bless! â€ïž
I love these videos, they give us a good idea of how you are. You are like my husband and I am like Nolan!đ
One thing I think is important for people to understand is the "date night" idea. While I am not saying is a bad thing, we need to understand and embrace the changes in the relationship. We want the emotions of when we were first married, but love changes and while we need that time together, we are different from what we were, so those ways we connect are going to be different. I'm no longer 22 and boy am I thankful!
Nolan is right about self esteem (I'm not saying that because I am like him in personality đ.) Anything self is not good! While I am not an advocate for berating oneself (I've known people who do that) we have put self on the throne and people are not doing good! Patience, love and all the fruits of the Spirit come when self is out of the picture and only then. When you aren't "worried" about whatever is afflicting you, "you" can handle it...because it's actually God working through you. Each and every day I pray that the Lord let me answer softly (Proverbs 15:1) to let my yes be yes (Matthew 5:37) to have more godly wisdom (James 1:5)and if there be anything in my life that displeased Him, to show me so I can give it to Him. This has been so helpful in my walk.
I love all your videos and I hope by the things I have said that you feel like I am critical because of anything I say. I do not have all the answers, I just put my thoughts and comments out here to help. I'm sorry if you have ever been hurt by any of my comments- that would never be my intention!
I love your Q and A's guys you could talk all day and I would listen xx
I rally enjoyed listening to this!!!đ
Thank you!
I love your channel and the two of you! I love the fact that in every video you put God first and then each other and your children! I love the loving husband/ Daddy Noah is and the creative loving wife/mommy you are. My generation didn't need date night because someone felt that they needed some special time to be lifted, I'm 65 years old and a great grandmother and to me, I never felt like I needed a special day for my marriage to be special. When the younger generation grows older they will realize that just being together drinking coffee or making the bed together is that special time that at the end of your walks here on earth those will be the moments you will remember and cherish, not going out to a restaurant for a meal. I guess what I am trying to say is no restaurant or movie can make your heart feel the reconnection that just a certain look, or a slight touch of the hand and a good laugh can do.
Thanks for the wisdom! I appreciate it!
Great questions and answers!
First thing - so funny when you said you donât like desert or wet climates. I currently live in the California desert and grew up in rainy Washington state đ
I thing you both are awesome đ hope you keep your channel going
Time together...... When you have babies, littles, young children...
I think it's recognizing those micro moments while life is happening... that meeting in the doorway or as you were passing through the hall, or standing at the kitchen counter and just taking that moment to be intentional in noticing each other with a hug etcđ
Or even just a caring word or two.
My sister loves Paris! They go to France at least twice a year for a month at a time.
That's so awesome!
Do not listen to the Negative Nellys! We all are different! You do you! What works for you, that is fine! Some people are never happy no matter what! I think you two are fine! Zander is so bright and happy! You go girl!đ
I have to agree with Ozark View. I think she said it so beautifully. I enjoy when you do the Q&A. Itâs so interesting what people ask. My heart feels you are a beautiful couple with a beautiful family. Your not perfect as none of us are but most of the time your always on the same page. You both love the Lord n I find thatâs the most important part of a marriage. Unfortunately In my marriage my husband wasnât saved. I prayed for him all the time n before I knew it dementia had set in. I prayed for him when I knew the time was coming to a end for him n I like to believe God heard me. He was a good man a good husband n father. Iâm thankful of the 52 years we had together. In this Dec. will be a year since his passing. Your both so lucky to have each other for your so blessed. My love I send to you n your family. â„ïžâ„ïžâ„ïžâ„ïžđđđ
I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand your hearts cry and I'm thankful we serve a God who cares and has it all in His hands. Sending hugs!
Great video!!!â€â€â€
Great vlog !
Hi have to tell you that I think you two are such a beautiful couple I really love watching your channel and seen your beautiful children.
I do find it inspiring to see simpler Christian life. But Iâm also grandma-age, and I enjoy watching your life as it reminds me of how mine used to be. My baby is 37 now.
Thank you. I enjoyed it đ
I hear you about not living in the "desert", and here I amđIt was extremely hot and dry out here in the Midwest this summer. I told my husband if he was ready to move, I definitely was!! I was so done! But, I love him and have friends, so...
đ I'm sorry. I don't enjoy the heat either
So good, thank you. I really appreciate your channel. This is my little extra for you :)
Phillipians 2:3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
That's my answer to self esteem. That said, compliments might not be a common thing 10+ years into marriage but they are really nice! I guess my message is, build up each other. We ought to esteem our spouse more highly than ourselves! Those compliments from a husband or wife go a long way!
I love hearing your perspectives. Thanks for putting yourselves out there and also pointing us to Jesus!
Enjoyed!
Where did you both grow up? One of your videos said Nolan grew up in Eastern Oregon near Boise. I also grew up in Eastern Oregon in John Day. How did you meet?
I recently heard or read about self esteem that we need to accept we are built in Gods image and we need to love the other because we are âoneâ. We canât tear something down about ourselves! We tear down God. It sure made me wanna be the best version of myself and be more like Jesus. ( If that makes sense)
If you decide you are done with Utube it's totally ok! Your channel has given so much joy to a lot of people who just want to see a strong young couple raising their family in a God honoring way. Your children are precious. Zander is such a joy to watch. Such a sweet guy. Yes, I know he isn't perfect. I have 2 grown grandsons! Do what the Lord is telling you to do. I know you & Nolan will make the right decision. Grammy from Texas
Thank you for that! It means a lot!
I wouldn't worry about date nights tbh......once the kids are in bed then you can spend time together then as a couple with a hot drink, a movie on the computer and some cake,......or just chatting about what's going on in your lives etc.....just chat for the sake of it and enjoy each other's company!
Trouble is, with social media, there's to high an expectation put on couples and families to be 'perfect'......your life and marriage is perfect for you.
Lovely hearing Nolan's take on things and Janine......you remind me very much of myself lol.....very direct in your speech and level headed.......can't be doing with smoke amd and mirrors......and no pretence! Don't change love........
Enjoyed very much.
You will have plenty of date night time when your kids are grown and they will be grown tomorrow!
If you have negative thoughts of yourself or your spouse try to think the opposite of that thought!
Agree with some first comments about date night. Really I donât think you actually âtalkâ then. Itâs when you do things together that you become more close. Things as in day to day stuff.
Oh. My. Goodness. We are sooo alike in personalities and my husband sounds like yours!!
đ
I have been watching you guys for a couple of years now and I think your doing an amazing job loving the Lord, raising your children and just trying to make it in this fallen world. I am encouraged by the both of you and I just love seeing Xanders smile and hearing his laugh! It's joy to my heart! May God bless your family in whatever He has for your future weather you keep doing youtube or not. I will miss you if God's has you quit but you must obey the calling the Lord has for you. I encourage you to carry on with your lovely family. May God bless you! đâ€
Thank you for being here and giving encouragement it means a lot!
Thanks for sharing. So much I could say about marriage making time for each other and being jealous. I honestly could go on. Being married now years we have learned so much that it seems to just be easier You both are good Godly folks and you will figure it all out together as long as you both put God first. I appreciate both of you and the honest opinions you both give. blessing on you and your family.
I love you guys! I'm so glad you are willing to be vulnerable and have talks like these on CZcams. You are a great inspiration and encouragement.
Speaking of low self-esteem... I just wanted to recommend a good book. "The Courage to be Disliked" by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi. It has been helpful to me in overcoming similar struggles.
Thank you for that! I'll have to check it out!
Please donât leave us đđđ
I understand your concerns regarding your children though, I would feel the same way. I am completely okay if you cut them out and just do videos of wisdom/Godly content (itâs such an encouragement to me!).
I really wish you all were my neighbors. Itâs so awesome to see Christian values lived in todays world. Just a little advice about time on CZcams vs time with familyâŠMaybe cut CZcams time in half. But please for my sake, donât quit. Iâm a 76 year old grandmother and widow. I NEED you!!! Donât mean to be selfish but I love you and your family sooo much. Love the video of Switzerland. I also hv family there but hv never been. May the Lord bless you and keep you and give you peace. â€
Thanks so much! Your support means a lot!
Quick question, you mentioned how in your church people can't get remarried if their former spouse is still living. Are there any times special circumstances allow for this? Take for instance if your former spouse was seriously physically abusive or now is in prison for horrible crimes or something like that.
Next thing - I learned recently about one couple that did âdate night every nightâ at home when their kids were super small. They would put the kids to bed and spend time together from 8-9. Of course they couldnât do it every single night but they aimed for whenever they were at home.
What is this 5 family rule?
You guys doing great. Are you farming?
No not really. đ
You both ate fabulous examples in a world filled with tragedy and godlessness. So many need to hear the life gospel you share.