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What Corporate People Sound Like
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- čas přidán 15. 12. 2020
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Whether moving the needle, circling the troops, or just hashing out details, you’ll need to reach teams wherever they are. Speak the unique language of business with Zoom Phone. zoom.us/zoom-phone
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......
Produced by: Very Very Video
Directed by: Tripp Crosby
Written by: Tripp and Tyler
CAST in order of appearance
PATRICK: Tripp Crosby
GREG: Michael Sokol
DARREN: Tyler Stanton
CARL: Kendrick Cross
ZANE: Will Redmond
NANCY: Carrie Hood
Producer: Michael Sokol
Director of Photography: Tom Pritchard
Production Design: Jeremiah Castleman
Editor: Tripp Crosby
Camera: Sony Venice
Edited on Davinci Resolve
The accuracy of that fake-excited-to-talk-to-you sounding "NaAaAance" greeting really took a toll on me
That was the best part of the whole video. Can't tell you how many times I've heard that, "NaAaAaAnce..." LOL!
Very accurate, you still need to iron out some of the details but we can take this offline and circle back once the team has the first cut on this. Then we can syndicate with leadership to align on the main takeaways before the final deliverable
Loool!
Yes!
Double click on that.
AWESOME.... I bow to you Sir!
Were you just at one of my meetings? lol
💯 accurate. Nothing is actually ever said and nobody knows what the hell is going on.
😅😂 no one
That was the longest 2 minute video I've ever watched
I felt like I was in one of those 2 hour all hands sync ups where we're trying to synergize our core competencies across the value stream.
@@tonymp 🤣🤣🤣
It was a paid ad, so somehow that came through
Right!
Try 8 hours a day
I am surrounded by this at work! Then I catch myself starting to say some of these things, then get mad at myself, and pray my soul gets restored
I feel exactly the same
😂
Omggg yess 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Just focus on the macros of your communication and not these granulars that will give you pushbacks.
Just table it for now then circle back around until you get where you need to be.
As a non-native speaker, I honestly can't tell if they are talking about work stuff or trying to land an airliner
I wonder if it's only americans speaking in metaphors or does it apply to all english speaking countries?
Even as a native American English speaker, I'm just as confused as you lol
Just as confusing to native speakers, and it’s only Americans ho speak in that many metaphors
@@notnottheslam-jamfrancisco9262 unfortunately its not. I work in the Public Sector in England and we are not much better. :)
This happens in every language, corporate gibberish
“From a macro standpoint we have to get granular” 😂
Lmfaoooo. Like, those are complete opposites!🤣
@@KingChrisMcLean LMFAO
From micro standpoint we were little broader hence
"I don't get it. Sounded just fine."
- my project manager
West World might be missing one of their Host.
for real? LOL
Working in the corporate world this is 100% true.
So this is what it sounds like. We need to get rid of this lingo. What does "circle the square" even mean? Is it to cut corners, take short-cuts?
@@arturodeguzman Why you try to do the impossilbe or you think, not feel, it can't be done.
Can confirm
@@arturodeguzman cut corners is also a metaphor 😅
@@arturodeguzman creative guess?
Make a pizza out of a lasagna.
This is all accurate. And I hate it. I work for a large company and everyone talks like this and I have 0 interest in learning what any of these words mean.
It all means nothing. Having worked in a corporate environment for almost a decade I can tell you that people just copy other people's bs. One week you'll hear a VP spouting some nonsense and the next week you'll hear a bunch of sycophants echoing the same thing. Maybe consider drafting up some buzzword bingo cards and distribute them to friendly coworkers so you can play bingo when on All Hands meetings.
Me too
One of the many reasons I’ve refused to move into management
It means nothing. This is how people who don't work try to act like they work. David Graeber said it best in "bullshit jobs"
@@legalfictionnaturalfact3969it let’s them say a bunch of words without being direct or taking forever to get to the point, so you zone out. Basically how politicians talk.
Let's sync with legal before showing our cards. Need to finalize before irons in the fire.
Spot on. I was thinking why they're not taking legal in the loop.
Learnt some more lingo I can use during the next meeting.
Don't do it. You'd be contributing to the complete and utter destruction of several souls
In in mortgage financing, legit my best lender is a guy who talks 100% normal. I call him up with an offer & we just talk it out like friends & then I send the deal through if he likes it. I send all my business to him first cause hes the only guy I know who talks about financing like a normal person.
This was so accurate it was physically painful.
“We need to go over this strategic plan for F21 from a 30,000 feet viewpoint.”
Me to my boss: Just fucking say you want a summary
While there is increased market penetration, we will need to mitigate the fall-out from a cost-savings perspective.
why is there a fall out when there is increase in market penetration? fall out is expected when there is market reduction. right?
The entire time I was watching this I was like thinking to myself, what in the hell are they talking about? 😆
Me too!
From what I can tell it's most likely that they're trying to make some toast.
Just like in real life 😅
In Corporate world you can think it, but you must play the game and do not ask
They are throwing away Corp slangs and heavy phrases you hear a lot in corporate meetings. It's mostly bragging and looping with no value provided.
TLDR translation:
- here are the goals for the next quarter, OK?
- no, unrealistic, we have no capacity for this.
- sales, you got anything worthwhile to say here?
- nope, but ask Nancy if you havn't already.
- Nance, team is saying these goals are unrealistic. What do we do?
- they are just focusing on the wrong thing, tell them to shut up, suck it up and we go ahead as planned.
Many thanks. Imagine corporate ppl spoke like that. What will happen to their efficiency?
thanks.. don't know how that translated into this but...
@@muneebbasit2314 Spend a few years in a Fortune 50 and you’ll become fluent. As an engineer I usually threatened to throw something at anyone who brought me a problem in this language. 😂
Here's your TL;DR translation in TL;DR Klingon
- qaStaHvIS jaghmeH loSlogh ghajbe'chugh, Ha'?
- Qo'qa', pa' jajvamwI', naDev 'e' chImej vItlhutlh!
- pegh tlhIngan, tIqDaq vIlo'ta' vISov?
- qatlhbe', 'ach Qapla' nancy vIjatlhqa'chugh.
- nancy, tlhInganpu' qeylIS qatlhchugh Dajatlh 'e' nIHDaq. nuqneH qach 'e' HaDghachbe'ghachqu', Quj chu', tIqDaqmeymeyvam!
...and everyday, casual Latin:
- Hic sunt objectiva pro proximo quadrimestre, an estne tibi placitum?
- Non, irratiabile est, nihil capacitatis ad hunc efficiendum.
- Venditionis, visne aliquid probabile dicere?
- Nequaquam, sed si nondum rogavit, percontare Nancy.
- Nance, dicitur a team haec objectiva irratiabilia esse. Quid facimus?
- In eo errant quod considerant, dic eis silentium servare, rem suscipere, ut praevidimus.
I thought I could understand english...
I was just waiting for the “low hanging fruit” reference. Nailed it!
I’m using “roger that copy” in my next meeting.
That was my favorite, LOL! Almost makes me wish I was in a meeting, so I could try it.
Toward the end, I get the feeling someone needs to explain the Byzantine Generals problem to these people.
"Roger that copy of my roger"
*grabs Jessica's face with both hands and jiggles like Adam Sandler does to that lil kid in happy Gilmore*
"Don't you say that! DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT!!"
The amount of times I've heard these catchphrases hurts my soul. The worst people of all are the HR dorks. They LIVE for this and will make signs, emails and culture bullshit out of these types of phrases 😂 💀
I strongly disagree! 😂 I'm in HR. It's the Head ofs in Commercial - those are much worse!
It’s amazing how much you can say without saying anything
I was actually in a board room once where a project manager said “trying to put out all of the fires that came as a result of the merger is like putting socks on an octopus!” 😂
Lol what
I mean, at least that's a clear comprlarisson, I can tell what he's talking about.
I would've been like, "Well I guess we might as well merger a fire department into the business while we're at it."
That metaphor actually made sense to me.... is that bad?
@@Lianpe98stfu all corporate ppl sound like bots with no life
Sure let's circle back offline, give some time back on this call. We can touch base tomorrow, this requires further blue sky thinking. We need to get crisp on those figures, consider nuances and peg down the measure of success. Loop back on an ETA or DfAD by EOW. Let's consider the cadence of this sync going forward, and someone kindly circulate the minutes after this meeting thanks.
Hahaha spot on!
Now let's try to say this in one breath. A challenge!
Omg I understood everything... I wish I didn’t hahaha
words "ETA" and " touch base" gives me ptsd omg!!!
Good luck to the guy taking the minutes 🤣
70 to 75% of that I was actually able to follow
Same. Painfully accurate. Especially when it's an exaggeration.
I'm surprised they got it figured out without pulling an all "all hands on deck"
So true. Now, in retirement, I don’t miss this crap at all. It did, however, serve to cover a lot of incompetence.
Shit drains you
Was it always like this? I have a hard time believing people always talked like this in big business.
I'm upset. I work in a corporate environment and I understand everything they're saying. E V E R Y T H I N G.
me too but i kinda got lost in the roger copy business
i thought they were just saying random words
I work in a corporate environment too, but me being a non native english speaker makes this sound like they're trying to land an airplane
@@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 Ikr! But even pilots and atc don't talk like this.
I am sorry, but it is too late to save your soul LOL
Ok, that was accurate - but wait until physicians start talking.
At my job, we use 92% of the vocab used here.
Those are rookie numbers, gotta pump those numbers up!
You guys really “hit the nail on the head” with this one from a target audience research standpoint perspective. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard these buzzwords/phrases said at my office and on conference calls hahaha.
Brilliantly accurate.
I just watched an ad for a product I hope I'll never use and loved it. ZoomPhone got a win-win.
this pretty much sums up every word and expression heard in looong and boring calls or meetings during my 15 corporate years so far
OMG. Spot on. I love that the FIRST thing is "Circle Back." I've heard that so many times, I think I'll have an annurism if I hear it one more time.
I work in corporate. I now hate my life. Thank you.
I die inside every time i hear “let’s touch base”
Same here.. I hate that word
"the elephant in the room is this paradigm shift which is basically mission critical low hanging fruit with no value add" This one statement sums up quite a bit of my early corporate life.
@Crazy Introvert T-Girl "The important subject no one is discussing is a change in industry mindset that is critically important and easy, but provides no immediate advantage."
That’s easily the most soul breaking ad ever made. Not even the douchiest manager uses that much lingo
Let me introduce you to my last manager.....
We square the circle. It gets trippyer and trippyer as they keep gibbering.
I'm so done, lol. This is my life
man... i should have choose the corpo life path
lmaooo too relevant
Wake the fuck up Samurai!
Oh yes - everytime my corporate boss said notwithstanding or tell me to touch base with someone it was like having an itch on the middle of my brain😂
This is the "sales" version, now imagine the IT version of this...... welcome to my world :D
True that!
"You guys sealed the DSU yet? We gotta sprint on exters and call in the Arties on the assets for the final deliverable"
Literal jargon soup courtesy of my lead programmer lol
I work around this type of “communication” daily. Praying daily for the sweet release of death
That sounded like a proof of concept. When does the pilot reach the first beachhead so that the install base can cross the chasm?
Basically every meeting! Do people realize these phrases are just veiled attempts at making decisions and taking responsibility? This makes me so uncomfortable. Pretty sure every meeting I'm in has at least 5 of these phrases. What am I doing with my life?!
They coulda added more salt and went for medium rare imo but hey the sun isn't too bright so there's enough shade anyway. Best of luck when the weather's warm.
Fake. Not once did they say “Dynamic”. Posers...
God this gave me a headache
100% spot on...out if nowhere I said hope is not a strategy in a mission critical low hanging fruit meeting today...to level set zero value added from a 30000 ft highlevel macro overview
Good stuff. Gotta now do one for the tidal wave of acronyms you hear in EVERY meeting these days.
This. I just got my first corporate job and already I'm flooded with MoMs, DSUs, and WBSs, and other ungodly acronyms like PRENDL
I worked in corporate Marketing for huge CPG companies for over 30 years. This is soooo accurate. Hilarious!
How did you stay sane while being there? Genuinely asking.
Impressive compilation of corporate-speak! 👏👏👏
Thanks! 🙂
I've never been happier as a construction worker.
😂😂
The "I wanna pick ur brain from a macro standpoint, but wanna get more granular kills me 😂
From a birds eye view I think this video seems to be delivering strategic best fit by thinking outside of the box and giving us the bigger picture in a nutshell .... lol
It's like an updated version of RAF pilot banter from World War II, just without the heroism.
Standard
It is what it is🤷🏽♀️
I've worked for three corporate aged care providers and the higher uppers speak like this and it's got me buggered what any of the language has got to do with looking after the elderly and disabled. 'Touching base' is the one that really gets my goat.
Spot on.
Sweet jebus this is way, way too accurate. Bravo!
I've had people talk to me like this in meetings, I just look at them and say "... and in English!'
Lol nice way of advertising it. Roger that into my roger, over and out!
Nice! Supporting the Chicoms!
What's worse is being a corporate IT guy. I worked from home long before Covid and my wife listened in on some conference calls. She had no idea what was being discussed. She said it was like we were speaking a foreign language.
This is both hilarious and deeply vomit-inducing to me from my years in corporate software sales. Has someone transcribed all the cliche's? I'd pay a dollar for that pdf (maybe)...
Somehow, I think I was able to follow most of this. I think everyone admitted there was a problem that needed to be solved, but no one actually had a solution. Am I right?
Gawd. Hit the nail on the head. I hear this speak all day long
Super glad they leave me out of meetings. I just plug along at my desk, accomplishing things 😊
Hahahaha. Reminded me sooner today, and the day before and the one before that 🤣
You guys are hilarious. Tight, clean commercial. How y’all doin’?
this is amazing as always! I have a theory about corporate speak..... large organisations have people from so many walks of life in them, you need a common language so that you all understand what everyone is trying to convey.
I may be talking out of my arse though
Copy that roger
I literally say all of this and unfortunately understood it all too well haha!
i'd rather be a lumberjack in the netherlands and die at 56 from my axe falling directly on my head than have to ever hear this irl
Nancy in the hair salon while everyone is at home. Nice one. Lol.
The lighting is great.
😆Jargon is hilarious 🤣 and then Nancy jumped onto the Zoom all loving and natural. 😊
- Copy
- Roger that copy
- Copy that Rodger of my copy
- Roger that copy of my Rogers of your copy😂
I'm fortunate to work in a team where we mostly don't use this language. However, we do have nomenclature. I think the funniest is "scoplement," which is work that we need to scope and, if possible, implement (the team got tired of writing SCOPE/IMPLEMENT). The first time I saw it, I was like, "what in the world is 'scoplement'?"
This is so painfully accurate
🤣🤣! All I can think about is the movie, "Office Space"!
Got this as an ad... only 2 minute ad I ever watched to the end
LOL same! it was so interesting ...i thought it was an ad for zoom at first
When this video came out, I was laughing with their strange lingo. I started work in corporate a year ago and now I find myself talking exactly like them. God, what have I become
Yep. Needs reference to "version 2.0" of something. (And I appreciated how none of them were doing anything when their phone rang.)
Oh no I am just enjoying my last few days off work and you pulled the rug from underneath my feet 🤣
Was this an ad for Zoom phone? It's well done!
My takeaways from this are that there are significant synergies we can leverage in preparing the ground Q2. We'll need to have a deep dive, but I'll run that up the flagpole and we can circle back by COP on Thursday. This could be a win win.
This corporate speak is " in my wheel house", too!
Corporate America at it finest! First time i’ve Actually searched for a commercial. Great job zoom!
I've been a MarComm professional for over 15 years now, and I understood every single word he said along with the context it was implied in. I don't know if I should be happy or sad.
So... they're not pilots?
Oh, goodness, I was thinking of you guys the other day!
I am having flashbacks.
Lol spot on 😆
I speak “corporate talk” and this all too accurate🤣🤣🤣 omg we sound ridiculous with all this meaningless jargon😭😭🤣🤣
Ah yes, The moment I got my business degree, I just started talking this way.
My sister overhearing me talking to my friends while in a league of legends game:
Why does this sound so calming....?
This is like the 3rd time I’ve listened to this....
Because there is no information for your brain to process. Everybody just speaks without actually saying anything.
@@Kif_Lee Thanks! that makes sense, especially because it was late and I was sleeping while writing this.
Accurate.
I found this channel a few weeks back, and I can't believe it hasn't gained more popularity yet!!! These guys have been here since the dawn of CZcams, have professional-looking production, brilliant videos.....why has the algorithm been so slow to pick up on the talent here?
Irregular posting schedule. The great CZcams algorithm favors creators that post frequently
@@tonymp Makes sense. Probably why lots of creators who used to make high quality stuff less often have switched over to "vlog-style" content that's longer and more frequent. Kinda a bummer.
@@Quinn2 Ding Ding Ding Ding
Well, the sonar radar has cooked its goose from the Tik Tok airplane ascent passing the flock of simplicity geese and shredded the info papers in the black hole of entertainment. Copy?