Justin's HIV Journal: Who Infected Me With HIV?
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- čas přidán 21. 08. 2024
- When I was infected with HIV I called the person who I believed in infected me, I got him tested and he was positive also; that happened in 2006. All these years I thought I knew who infected me. But something came up a couple of months ago. I got a phone call from a friend who said that we had sex unprotected some year back. I honestly had no idea, but I knew we had sex before about 3 times. I do remember all the times we had sex, but I didn't know that one of those times was unprotected. I must say he didn't know he was HIV positive at the time either, but he found out later. When he had eventually found out, we had already lost contact.
It is now 2013 and the same handsome man had called me after watching and reading my blog. He had told what I had mentioned above. I do believe him and we are still friends. I can't blame him because it took two to tango and it was consensual sex. But now I'm at an impasse, and I don't know what to do.
Should I investigate further and find out who infected me? Or should I move on and live my life without that answer?
I've lived my life thus far not knowing, but I gave myself a false knowing of who infected me and now I just don't know. Maybe I unconsciously knew that there may have been another sexual encounter I had that may had infected me with HIV.
Even if I find out who infected me, will that make me any happier? Will is close a door that wasn't meant to be opened?
All I know now is that I took solace in knowing who infected and I lived my life for me and my family. But will I stop doing what I'm doing and being who I am because of this. The answer is NO. I now take solace in not wanting to know who infected me but in my husband, my son, my friends and family. These are the things that truly matter to me. These are the things that will always matter to me.
However it would be nice to know...
Justin as a retired I.C.C,U. Nurse I can tell that there is a blood test that can tell you what strain you have,if the other Two persons are tested it can reveal who was infected first.It the three of you are tested together I believe I it will also reveal which person passed it on to whom.God Bless you in your endeavors to continue your goals in life.
I wanted to write the same..
Than I dud read your comment..
So I liked 👍 it... and leave it at that ...
Thanks for sharing your story. I spend hours watching HIV stories on youtube because they all help me get tons of thoughts, ideas and different perspectives from people. I volunteer by presenting HIV / Health information to people so these videos do a lot of good for me which I try to pass on to others.
I was terrified to get tested , I literally put it off because I was scared of a positive result. I haven’t been the best girl ... if u catch my drift. Luckily I came and saw your video about the hiv rapid test. And I got tested!!!! I got tested for everything and was negative. I was so worried , I was making myself sick with symptoms !!!!
Get tested. Thank you for sharing your story. You gave me the strength to go get tested. Will never take my health for granted again.
Good lesson,... never mess around again...things are thick,..n good luck...!!
May you find peace whether you ever find out who infected you or not.
I just stumbled upon this my friend and thank you for sharing this.
You're welcome
Does it really matter now who infected you, Justin? How many people have you possibly infected? You don't know when you became a carrier, either. Don't you think there is someone else you've slept with who may have contracted an illness and is wondering the same question?
Anyway here is my thought. There is no such thing as a HIV virus. Anyone can become ill after sleeping around and contracting germs from others. Don't let these medical ""professionals''' tell you anything different.
While I am posting. Let me say there will never be a medical cure for Cancer or HIV. AIDS is only a description of what happens when the body cannot fight off or destroy pathogens. You can fight the degeneration by taking care of your body...that means fighting off whatever is the underlying cause (like a fungal sinus infection). When you are weak it means your body is losing a battle between pathogens like fungi, bacteria, viruses (from when you had chicken pox, etc). You can build your resistance by eating no refined sugars, no wheat, and living a clean and healthy lifestyle. There is so much more to it. Do you research. Call on God and He will show you the way. Don't let the enemy come between you and God. He's a master at it and uses everyday people to control you and your health.
WOW Good for you
DRAMADDESTROYER bitch
martinarg101
You must be his homosexual lover or some
martinarg101
who... are youuu?
I am someone smart enough to catch your attention darling
justin you are so confident and a very high esteem you are inspiration to those who think its the end of life when they get infected by HIV.you are a role model to many xx
This “doctor “ isn’t at all confident sounding.
Sounds like BUNK.
What's that jazz song in the background? It's beautiful
+missysmithy25 Beautiful like you
missysmithy25 yes you are
Ikr I liked tht music
Such a powerful video man. Thanks for sharing.
It's very staggering! There are people out there who know that they have it and still intend on getting intimate with other people. It is so sick and sad. There are some who do not even believe in using protection, claiming that negative thoughts will make a person more susceptible to contracting it. That's like playing roulette with the body.
They have different strains of hiv and if you have the same strain as one of your partners that is probably who infected you. Congrats on those degrees bro!❤❤❤
Also- don't listen to these people telling you not to find the individual. If you feel like you need to find that individual find them. It's your life man! On another note, your positive attitude is inspiring.
Yes, I think he should find someone the person that he had contact with. 😔
That friend knew for years that he was infected and never reached out to you to make sure you're okay.
That's selfish.
Congrats on your success
Just happened to come
Across two of your videos
And I find you inspiring
Be blessed 💭
Thank you
At this point I really don't think it matters who gave it to you....
Thanks for sharing your story!
I look forward to your call Divo!! keep up the fantastic work!
It must be terribly difficult for you. It is so easy for me to say as I am NOT in your shoes. However the perspective of a third person may or not be helpful, I hope to be. Searching for your infect-or does little to help you. Imagine from the perspective of the person that infected you.... You finding out and his fear (right or wrongly founded) of you spreading his name or the guilt you will load apon him (though I am sure you have no intention to load him with guilt, huge feelings of guilt will be unavoidable (whether he knew or didn't know.... he will still feel immense guilt). Is finding someone to be responsible so important? It doesnt change the fact that you are infected and does not change your future.
What I do want to say to you though is how impressed I am with your strength and character. I look forward to reading your video entry's and am sure I shall be reading them for many years into the future.
You are a strong man and my prayers are with you.
I hope you are doing well and for people on here that are making negative and nasty comments. SHAME ON YOU
Jen M thank you sweetie I appreciate the support XOXOXOX positivity is always the way to go
In 2023, people need to use truvada prep and condoms!
You get 90% of the sensation with condoms,but you are protectected from many diseases!
I haven't seen all of your videos so maybe this has been addressed. I admire and respect your candid approach. I am just wondering if you ever contacted people you may have infected.
hi Justin, watched ur video ealier on and must say its inspiring. you're a really brave person in the eyes of god and to others with positive thinking to be honest and to tell us what happen to you. all i want to say is to stay healthy, carry on living a normal life and dnt listen to some of these unjust ppl that tries to judge and put you down. aids is a virus and a disease such as cancer and all the other rest ,only worst bit is that its even more serious and most of these people thats trying to put you down has had a disease std before and they know their selves. be happy justin , it is what it is and the only thing that matters right now is to makesure that you stay healthy and is happy all the way, bless up and nuff luv xx
I think the essential thing is to look forward not back. What would you gain from knowing which guy/situation infected you? You say they are both still your friends and that is great. I would be more worried if the guy who infected you did not know he was positive!!! That would be horrible for him. I understand that you feel in limbo but at least they both told you even if the other guy is ten years late!!! Keep smiling.
I hope all is well with you...
Things are great and I hope you are well too
Thank you Robert I really appreciate the support. I have investigated it and have found nothing as of yet
I admire your courage and your perseverance. No excuse for not succeeding.
I feel u r doing a great thing and maybe one of ur partners will get tested or come forward. Because. In 10 years u could've infected someone else who regularly got tested and you can start a timeline wishing u the best and u give hope to alot of people that r infected and afraid to say so, uninfected people should be informed
Hi Justin thank you for the update love watching your videos, bro
The stigma behind being infected with HIV/AIDS is that, people still don't think that it could happen to them especially young folks. It needs to be more people like you spreading the word and educating people about this epidemic...!!!
Firstly I just want to give you the longest hug ever! I’d personally say I think you should keep digging and looking because I think it will give you peace that you’ve never expected.
Secondly, I want to ask you if I can do some investigative journalism… (About the tests you were wondering about.)
Even if you never end up knowing who did it, that's okay too because I know that either way, you’re still passionate, persistent, and peaceful.
Thank you so much the the compliment man i do appreciate the support
Vernal whether you know it or not it does sound like you are passing judgement. As stated in the video I didn't know I was having unprotected sex. but I do agree with, "Your ex partners could be asking the same question of you. Surely what matters now is staying well in mind and body, and making safer sex the norm, henceforth. Btw, congratulations on all your achievements."
Your brave for sharing your story I pray.it help and encourage others to be more straight forward and knowledgeable about the disease
Any update about him? Is he still alive?
I was infected by my second sexual partner at 19 and I'm still here at 49. God bless u.
WOW! I just read DILL's comment again and really thought about it. His is by far the best thought provoking comment for you to think about Justin.
Wow I love this video and you really inspired me to keep following my dreams regardless of what you are going through because there maybe situations where you might come across some people that will mess your life up but some people don't know who got them in this situation but can learn to move forward and let the lord deal with the situation. All I can is you are sexy charming man and you are very strong and have so much courage in yourself to do this and that's what I like about you and you never know one day if its meant to be we might work out something down the road if you are single and still looking for a guy like to be in your life lol but you never know holla
thanks for opening up this important conversation
not a problem
thank you for listening and watching
+Justin B. Terry-Smith talk to Dr. Sebi
It's no longer a death sentence, and God still has a plan for your life. Take care of yourself really well and God Bless.
thank you
+Justin B. Terry-Smith its some ignorant people on this post, (what they don't know is you could live longer than any of us), and don't need the negative energy. My best friend died from aids her hubby gave it to her, but that was in the 90's at that time there was not much known about it.
Having been Poz for over 20 years I agree that what matters now is staying well in mind and body, making safer sex the norm and add to that educating others who for what ever reason don't believe that protected sex is for them. I just purchased Vernal's book and look forward to reading it. I also look forward to more of your posts as I have just discovered your page on CZcams.
Of course I had complete trust that you would move in the direction of love and light. Keep on keepin' on. Sending love and hugs.
Hi Justin, apologies for any misunderstanding/miscommunication on my part. I'm definitely on your side. By the way, my book is non-fiction and under my real name, Vernal Scott. Thank you for your interest in it. I very much hope you'll find it worthy of your time. Wishing you a great day.
Tona I so love you too. I will call about the show later on this week I promise
hey Justin I'm just curious I hope that you are well then God bless you
i dont blame the person who passed hiv to me i take responsiblitly for my actions in not using protection!
but i respect your journey and your struggle..like i said i was not trying to pass judgement
Good way of looking at things. Because the person that infected you could not have been aware
Awe Justin I love your journal so much. you are helping so many people please call me about my show when you can.
Hi Justin - I'm sure there are times when it would feel somewhat comforting to know the answer to your question. With what you have shared here, there are so many possibilities and variables - I really don't think it is possible to know with certainty just who gave you the virus. It could have been the first guy, or the second guy - or BOTH. Not everybody keeps current with their status, so the guy who can show you an HIV-neg blood result, may have been exposed the day after the test.
It's really puzzling to me. Im not sure how it works but I always hear from a person withvthe HIV that someone else gave them the virus. Do you think that two ppl create the virus between each other also? Great video
I love this response thank you Bronstar
Great vid i pray u find answers brother
What's with the music in the background!!!?
In your case, Since your initial/ first contact, how long did it take to get a flu? I assume it was a bad one and last few weeks?
I'm not sure
This is why I'm a virgin at 62 years old
Wow🥰 62
I wold pursue it a bit further as far as the other "not knowing his status" before having intercourse with you.
Maybe you don't mind, or forgive him. But for anyone else, if someone engages in intercourse with you knowing they're HIV positive, you legally can have the arrested and put in prison.
Knowing your status is important, but knowing the law as far as those who knowingly engage in intercourse as HIV positive is just as important. Knowingly spreading HIV is illegal.
Wow it sounds exciting. I didn't think you were against me or not on my side at all. But one must see other people views on this subject because it is highly sensitive. We must be clear about what we are saying about it without posing "possible" judgment. And sometimes sharing feelings is just that which of course is okay too ;-) Now...........WHERE CAN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT BOOK...wait I see Amazon. is it under your pen name or real name (Vernal Scott)
Luv the background music!
That music is so melow.
I'm amazed at one thing. You say these guys are your friends and the could be the 1's who infected u. For me I don't think I could be friends with someone who puts my life in jeopardy.
I would have to agree with you personally I've would have killed them and wouldn't care after that, because effecting someone with HIV is very serious especially when they know for a fact they have it. That is a big crime.
I hear your story, & really do feel ya, but I say acknowledge that the infection happened & keep moving forward to a better you. Looking back in worry does you no good. I think you need no test to provide a set infection date (unless for scientific/medical reasons), but just a CURE for the disease. Know you know, & you can AT LEAST pinpoint your sexual partners thruout ur story. Be blessed, strong, beautiful man.
THANK YOU BABY!!!
God bless you, hope you doing well.
im not sure if im hiv positive or not im scared to know because im 23 yrs old ...i dont wanna die
I know this is one of the hardest things to, but very important that you go get tested. Life is not over, u can still live a full life if u test positive. I pray that u not though 🙏 I promise u will be just fine.
I know where u r coming from, the need to know, but at end day lift u spirit's cuz it really doesn't matter. Live ur life bro. There new meds that help u live a normal life. I see u when get old kid. Peace stay strong
Having unprotected anal sex with a poz top does NOT mean you WILL get infected - it just means that the risk of infection is much greater. That is why it is best to treat ANY sexual partner as though they are poz. What you DO know is that you are loved, in a supportive relationship, have done a LOT of good for the community and give/receive a lot of love for others. Concentrate on the positive things and release the negative ones. Peace.
My blessings to you
stay strong I have question plz answer me did U note any thing strange in ur mouth before U got the test????
Reem Sharane before I was diagnosed I noticed thrush on my tongue that everyone gets but it started to get thicker than usual. Also, random tastebuds were swollen as if I bit my tongue but I knew I never bit my tongue.
You know how you were infected. I hope all is well though.
I'm just curious what if you find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with Will you ever be able to have unprotected sex because. I heard there is a pill big positive people can take before having unprotected sex that can prevent there partners from catching it. And this is for the couple's that want to have children.
Impossible to really know how it happened but its too late now to classify.
And people are mentioning tests to find out which strain a person has. Well if a person has been reinfected, would they not have multiple strains?? Idk pardon my ignorance.
❤ your background music.
Thank you XOXOXOX I will keep on keepin on ;-)
trying to find out "exactly" who infected you is a waste of time & can be a distraction to doing something progressive. it best to let it go and just continue to move forward. you don't need to know everything .
umm im hiv postive myself! so i know EXACTLY how it feels!
Condoms can also be unreliable and what starts as a 'safer' session, can change - fi the condom breaks/tears. There is a small percentage of infected men that did not do anything 'risky' - and still got it. Considering the situation you describe, I'd say it is not possible to identify just who it was. I do remember reading that there are different strains of HIV - so if the blood of all 3 people is tested, it might narrow it down.
Thank you Gina
It was the 1 who you, slept with 3 to 4 times. He already had it while he was with you, that night
I know this is a werid question but if you have HIV do you die??
You want die from it, there are medicine to help treat it and as longs as he takes the meds, do his follow ups and of course eat healthy, not to mention not have sex he will be fine. I took health classes and learned a few things about the virus.
I image the Dr office just like getting a paternity test ask ur Dr I'm sorry i responded so late and don't have An answer but i do know its available and can be done
I'm not sure what you mean. but i'm guessing you are asking if two people can give it to each other when both are HIV negative and I believe the answer is no
Cant the doctor test u guys and find out who infected who?
❤God bless you
Hey Justin, I recently wrote about my own story in God's Other Children - A London Memoir (Amazon books etc), even though it's from a different perspective. If you knew me then you'd know that I'm on your side, and if I was there I'd be the forst to hug you...but I do have an opinion., I'm not sure how knowing who gave you HIV will help, but I wish you everything that is good in life, sincerely.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT TAKES 2 PEOPLE TO DO THIS, YOU KNEW THE RISK, DO NOT BLAME THE OTHER PERSON.. YOU COULD HAVE PROTECTED YOURSELF.
if you listened to the video than you would know I don't blame anyone
but placing the blame on anyone might feed HIV stigma and criminalization
+Justin B. Terry-Smith Tbh, it's not really a "good" thing to have HIV, but with that being said, the disease is very treatable and I do agree the negative stigma around it makes the condition seem so much worse than it actually is. From what I understand, infected persons are only required to take a set of pills everyday, that's not much of a death sentence. In all honesty, the biggest problem I would have with being infected is having to inform my partner of my status every time I had sex. Most people just aren't willing to take that chance. Anyway, bless up bro. Keep ur head on and don't let stop u from progressing
+Justin B. Terry-Smith Justin have you ever been approached by bug chasers online ? There seems to be more of them than i originally thought.
***** Dam im busted lol
how many sexual partners did you have of before you found out you were HIV positive until after you found out?
Good advice
It is time to retain a lawyer.
Nice music. 🎷.
Thank goodness it's not a bad strand.
Also, you don't have the next stage of aids. You probably will never get aids.
Because he wants to
No worri about it dont try to know when how and who's, now take care of u be clean take your médecines you live trust me . Dont blaming urself just live god will take care too.
Question: Outside of rape or accidents, and without passing judgement, don't we willingly invite HIV into our lives when we have unsafe sex? Your ex partners could be asking the same question of you. Surely what matters now is staying well in mind and body, and making safer sex the norm, henceforth. Btw, congratulations on all your achievements.
hi Justin , you seem to know a lot of HIV. can you please tell me the risk of having only oral sex, not anal, no drug use. I have never had unprotected sex ever. thank you in advance for your help
I know that this is 3 1/2 years later, and I don't know if you even want/need this information, but to the question "How can I find out who infected me?'. Perhaps. There are blood tests, but you would need a sample of *your* blood, as well as that of the person who you suspect to be the origin. Technicians can identify similar markers/traits and to a fair degree determine if the person who gave the sample was likely the source of infection. I don't know how expensive it is, or how long it takes - but you would need the cooperation of the other person. Google "How can I find out who infected me with HIV?"
*_I believe that this would be important because there are two years during which you may have been infected and did not tell people with whom you had sex_*.
So basically, you could actually be in the same situation as your friend was when you were 23.
I hope you're exercising self control now. A little of that goes a long way.
you ll never find out who gave it and you coulda infected someone lese so this virus just go on and on without ppl getting tested and using condum but youll bless to be here just gon with ife and stay safe
did you have any symptom before the test? and how about now? how do you feel?
I'm doing great
I had flu like symptoms
That`s really sad. Was the flu like a really bad flu? I suspect that I may get it too
I threw up 5 times
wow...
So sad
Aw
Listen its all up 2 youse both get tested first..none of youse learn until wen its to late
It's probably more likely to be the latter guy because you would have sero converted and you would have known by the time you were 25
i personally dont think anyone "gives" you hiv i think if you are casually having sex without any condom you put your OWN self at risk..so i dont think it really matters "Who" it came from whennyou dont use a condom...and im not passing judgement i just look at this situation from a diffrent perspective! so i dont think you should worry about who or how you became hiv poz...
hiv sad music
whats the song in the background anyone know??
my freind it is probably the last person you had sex with before you found out about HIV, also sharing needles is a big thing.
And you mentioned that you were passed out drunk, could someone else have had sex with you when you were intoxicated.