New Sanctions Punish Russia For War Crimes | Zuckerberg's Pals At Work Call Him "Sauron"

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  • čas přidán 9. 06. 2024
  • The U.S. added new sanctions to punish Russia for war crimes in Ukraine, and renowned Tolkein expert Stephen Colbert reacts to news that Facebook employees use a "Lord of the Rings" reference when poking fun at their boss Mark Zuckerberg. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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    The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
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Komentáře • 1,9K

  • @AntaresM1911
    @AntaresM1911 Před 2 lety +184

    That "Tom Leatherwood" joke was brilliant, i cannot stop laughing 🤣🤣

    • @hardybeverly
      @hardybeverly Před 2 lety +9

      Yes! So funny, he’s on tonight! I crack up here by myself, but who needs anyone when the Late Show is on!!!😆

    • @Echo81Rumple83
      @Echo81Rumple83 Před 2 lety

      What is it with these Republican politicians and their surnames equating to a myriad of euphemisms ranging from naughty body parts to human excrement?

  • @havcola6983
    @havcola6983 Před 2 lety +286

    The "Eye of Sauron" is a pretty old way to describe a certain crappy management style in IT. It's an environment where everybody is largely ignored except for one unlucky guy who is in charge of whatever has the managers attention that week and thus has them looking over his shoulder constantly.
    The other common crappy management style is the "Seagull". Those are the managers who swoosh from out of nowhere, have no idea what's going on, shit all over the trenches and leave.
    Neither is a compliment.

    • @seanstoyroom7274
      @seanstoyroom7274 Před 2 lety +5

      Sounds like a boss of mine who just got her Marching Orders. Sad.

    • @chonqmonk
      @chonqmonk Před 2 lety +24

      My management style is the reverse spin dunk bacon cheeseburger with a side of fries approach....I let my employees know clearly what they need to do to win, let them know that *I work for them* and ask them what can I do for you to make sure you consistently win - and then I do that, whatever that is, and I consider doing whatever that is for all of them to be my job.

    • @MonkeyJedi99
      @MonkeyJedi99 Před 2 lety +12

      @@chonqmonk Mmm... Bacon...

    • @gorkskoal9315
      @gorkskoal9315 Před 2 lety +2

      LOL umm I wonder how dence Zuck is. then lol!

    • @noahkirkpatrick8912
      @noahkirkpatrick8912 Před 2 lety

      I would mean it as a compliment.

  • @mori1bund
    @mori1bund Před 2 lety +14

    I wonder what facebook employees call zuckerberg behind his back, when "eye of sauron" is what they call him to his face. 🤔🤔😆😆

  • @RichArtLove
    @RichArtLove Před 2 lety +81

    The fact that Jon B is back here at his job after sweeping all the Grammy awards is a clear testament to the value everyone places on this brilliant show.

    • @phriedokra6158
      @phriedokra6158 Před 2 lety +7

      Jon knocked em dead at the Grammys did he not!!! he had quite the year! well deserved btw!!! well deserved!

    • @Jozamendo
      @Jozamendo Před 2 lety

      And that there's no good music being produced anymore.

    • @BogeyTheBear
      @BogeyTheBear Před rokem

      This comment hasn't aged well.

  • @gamepapa1211
    @gamepapa1211 Před 2 lety +165

    OK, walk me through this: Tennessee won't allow gay couples to adopt a child due to "concern for the children", but at the same time, they're promoting baby marriages!? What the hell?!

    • @Marlowekay
      @Marlowekay Před 2 lety +4

      ---- --- ----fire???

    • @okkietrooy6841
      @okkietrooy6841 Před 2 lety +37

      I think they wanted so desperately a way of marriage that is not accessible for homosexuals that they forgot to protect their children from child marriage.
      I guess in their mind a marriage between 2 loving adult males is a bigger threath to their children than child marriages. 🤮

    • @y_fam_goeglyd
      @y_fam_goeglyd Před 2 lety

      Some states already allow underage marriage with parents' consent. I remember reading a long news story on the BBC with women who'd been basically sold to older men aged around 13. Legally. The story isn't that old. I was going to say a few years, but I think I've lost two years, so add a couple more if you want to search their website. They usually keep their old pieces up. If you find it, make sure you have a strong drink to calm you and a box of tissues for your tears.

    • @alexfischer2527
      @alexfischer2527 Před 2 lety

      No sir, you cannot adopt this little girl - you can only marry her.

    • @susanmorgan715
      @susanmorgan715 Před 2 lety +8

      Marry Them Fosters Off Quick. Kill 2 Birds With 1 Stone Type Of Thing. No Problem Here...

  • @UNDERSIA
    @UNDERSIA Před 2 lety +433

    During these absolutely atrocious times Stephen keeps me sane
    Love from Poland

    • @joannajamerson35
      @joannajamerson35 Před 2 lety +21

      I'm a polish -amercian I love Stephen Colbert

    • @PattyDalmau
      @PattyDalmau Před 2 lety +26

      Yes he does 😂
      We’re praying for Poland too from California ❤️

    • @lincolnnoronha4128
      @lincolnnoronha4128 Před 2 lety +16

      yeeeah! love from Brazil

    • @stephanlarsen8169
      @stephanlarsen8169 Před 2 lety +10

      So much trouble in the world Jah rastafari praises blessings respectfully Tucson Arizona Sonoran desert 🏜️ Jah sisters

    • @guynorth3277
      @guynorth3277 Před 2 lety +4

      I seriously did not know people watched from Poland, I would just watch your local stuff! Good Day, Eh!

  • @trickymick
    @trickymick Před 2 lety +347

    The jokes were so on point today. Stephen (and his writers) makes me feel much better while my life is going down the gurgler. Keep it up Stephen a huge fan here for over 20 years!

  • @Synathidy
    @Synathidy Před 2 lety +58

    Hearing him say his employees call him the "eye of Sauron" and also hearing that he thinks they refer to his attention as this "lovingly" was enough to make me laugh hysterically.

  • @fdrstan
    @fdrstan Před 2 lety +73

    That Eye of Sauron part had me DYING.😂

  • @skym821
    @skym821 Před 2 lety +546

    These war crimes made me sick to my stomach. In my opinion, no consequence could be enough for what's going on.

    • @stephanlarsen8169
      @stephanlarsen8169 Před 2 lety +6

      So much trouble in the world Jah rastafari praises blessings respectfully Tucson Arizona Sonoran desert 🏜️ Jah sisters

    • @Catani84
      @Catani84 Před 2 lety +6

      Yeah ... No one should defend Russia and I'm definitely not...but I also know how propaganda works...and so many people have many doubts about the Bucha movie clip. We all know the war is always dirty.

    • @StephBer1
      @StephBer1 Před 2 lety +76

      @@Catani84 There are literally dozens of news agencies from Europe and the US in Bucha with reporters standing beside dead bodies and interviewing traumatised old people. Are you trying to say that ALL of them are staged? If so, then maybe you should think about where YOU get your information.

    • @mikeharrison1868
      @mikeharrison1868 Před 2 lety +4

      I absolutely agree that those respo Sible for the crimes should be hurt badly. But we need to try to do so in a way that doesn't hurt the ordinary Russian in the street.
      Remember that a big part of why WWII happened was the terrible versatile treaty after WWI...

    • @malloc7108
      @malloc7108 Před 2 lety +2

      I'm pretty sure I could get you to agree war crimes would be excessive consequences

  • @callen9623
    @callen9623 Před 2 lety +86

    as fucked up as it is-I think zuck wears that Sauron title as a badge of honor. A true sign of a terrible boss. He just said the quiet part out loud

  • @aspeckofstardust
    @aspeckofstardust Před 2 lety +73

    As a Russian American I just appreciate that Stephen’s signature joke about Russia is about potatoes and not vodka. I do like potatoes 😋 Vodka, not so much.

    • @dwarfie24
      @dwarfie24 Před 2 lety +5

      Grilled potatoes mate. Marinated in chilli powder with a crust on the outside. 🤤

    • @dafttool
      @dafttool Před 2 lety +5

      French Fries 👍🏽

    • @Timithydwolf
      @Timithydwolf Před 2 lety +3

      Parmesan potatoes are the best.

    • @NuiYabuko
      @NuiYabuko Před 2 lety +6

      Isn't it the same, though? lol
      (Vodka is made from grain or potatoes.)
      Not going for the cheap Easter European drunkards joke is definitely appreciated by this fellow Eastern European.

    • @rahcollier7006
      @rahcollier7006 Před 2 lety +5

      To be fair, potatoes are great. A food for all occasions.

  • @eeyorehaferbock7870
    @eeyorehaferbock7870 Před 2 lety +41

    As someone who was born in Tennessee and still has some awesome relatives from there, I apologize on behalf of my birth state for that bill.

    • @chezmoi42
      @chezmoi42 Před 2 lety +1

      If you haven't already seen it, you will love this TN boy: czcams.com/video/_85IHnkxcro/video.html

    • @sonnyroy497
      @sonnyroy497 Před 2 lety

      That's a reptipublican for ya!

    • @johndododoe1411
      @johndododoe1411 Před 2 lety

      Have you read the bill and found out what is and isn't on it, besides all the hot takes.

  • @womanofsubstance8735
    @womanofsubstance8735 Před 2 lety +46

    So is Tennessee also going to delete age limit for voting, drinking, or driving?

    • @Jartran72
      @Jartran72 Před 2 lety

      Well the bill was designed to be homophic.. terrible

    • @bunzeebear2973
      @bunzeebear2973 Před 2 lety

      Oh, they will be able to buy houses and WORK (circumventing the child labor laws) and pay income tax...and also enlist in the military so YOU SUPPORT THEM. Children is running the government, aka idiots.

  • @sprtsfanatic1
    @sprtsfanatic1 Před 2 lety +143

    “It’s The Hydroxychloroquine of justice.” That was perfect 👌
    Also, it’s quite demoralizing and disturbing that we’ve reached a point in American society where a large fringe-group of American extremists legitimately want to indict and jail a scientist that’s devoted his life to public health and stopping infectious diseases

    • @sprtsfanatic1
      @sprtsfanatic1 Před 2 lety

      @n k While I will certainly not debate that big pharma is guilty and culpable of multiple egregious agendas and crimes that negatively effected or destroyed thousands of lives (opioid crisis) it does not blanket all of them under the same veil. Yes, extensive testing with any new vaccine is well warranted and expected, especially when combating a viral infection that attacks your lungs and immune system. Nevertheless, the results over a massive scale are resoundingly in favor of mitigating the effects of COVID and preventing further infection. Of course, as with a massive population density and distribution, there will always be outliers within that third standard deviation that have complications or unforeseen effects from said vaccine.
      However, the same occurred for vaccines to combat Smallpox, Hepatitus B, Polio, H1N1, Measles, Mumps, Rubella, etc. Nowadays, children are required by state law to have those vaccines for obvious reasons. I’m sure that there will eventually be the same requirement for COVID at some point, as it continues to ravage the US and the world. The only way to eradicate a virus completely is though vaccines, as was done by Smallpox. The irony being that COVID-19 is a variant of the Smallpox virus.
      Continual testing for COVID and vaccination will continue years from now and hopefully our healthcare professionals can develop a vaccine to either eliminate it completely or mitigate its symptoms to something innocuous. However, to state that the COVID vaccines were “untested,” and “did. Or have any real benefit that would justify a widespread use,” is not only misleading but false. Again, dozens of studies by the CDC, WHO, HHS, and healthcare facilities around the world have proven and emphatically stressed the importance of how much the vaccine mitigated the strength of the virus and halted its spread. I had close friends and family contract the virus, all vaccinated, thankfully, and they developed mild and not severe symptoms. I’ve heard too many horror stories of unvaccinated people contracting the virus and dying because they believed in conspiracy theories or charlatan pseudoscience remedies. Moreover, I have almost a dozen friends in various professional medical practices (Radiology, RN, Anesthesiology, Virology, Personal Physicians, and Nephrology) and they all posted physical and anecdotal testimonials of how COVID effects the body and how the virus combats it. Again, yes there will always be outliers when delivering a vaccine to millions of people, but an overwhelming majority are protected. The vast majority of people over the past year that have gotten infected and died were unvaccinated, aside from breakthrough infections of those that were still infected even while receiving the virus. Again, part of that extreme third standard deviation

    • @cctomcat321
      @cctomcat321 Před 2 lety +2

      I mean, we already live in a society where the state can work with corporations and a company like Chevron can privately prosecute a lawyer for successfully suing them and have them locked up (look up Steve Doziger, he's done some interviews recently). Hasanabi has a pretty bare bones question/answer interview.
      Or enact state violence against and execute an "AntiFa" member, keep you locked up after finding exonerating evidence that proves your innocence, and has its own badged gang to act in the interest of capital owners rather than citizens. Remember that dude who Trump (claimed to have) basically had hunted down?
      At least Fauci only has to worry about morons calling for him to be jailed over nothing a la Hillary. But I guess if we have another 2016, who knows? The GOP has gone completely untethered and they don't even bother hiding their weird obsession with authoritarianism within their party.

    • @Neoyoshi-FFXIV
      @Neoyoshi-FFXIV Před 2 lety +10

      And charge money for the fake privilege of not having any legal standing. It's obviously a scam.

    • @bunzeebear2973
      @bunzeebear2973 Před 2 lety

      The "Fauc" DID NOT PROMOTE Hydroxychloroquine. "Orangutan" did. So, go after that LOSER. Strange how the promoter of said medicine did not take it HIMSELF. What did he have to lose? Either it works or it don't. (Hint- it don't)

    • @roseananthanayagam8056
      @roseananthanayagam8056 Před 2 lety

      Fauci will smile down from heaven on their broiling, roasting screaming selves.

  • @MaryAnnNytowl
    @MaryAnnNytowl Před 2 lety +8

    Tuber - what a great joke to start with! And _it gets better from there!_ Stephen, you and your writers are so good at finding ways to help us laugh even during the darkest of times. Thank you for all you do - it means so much to me! ❤❤🖖🏼🙂👍🏼💋❣

  • @143tazzz
    @143tazzz Před 2 lety +779

    Stephen’s monologue is a treat after having a terrible day

    • @rawkfistgaming
      @rawkfistgaming Před 2 lety +23

      Well I hope your night ends up better!

    • @nadiashireensiddiqi
      @nadiashireensiddiqi Před 2 lety

      Russain civilians have repeatedly condemned the actions of their govt.
      The s bank is one bank u want ur assets frozen was a good one.
      D Cassidy and Cryoto kids
      I hope Elon Musk fixes toxic Twitter

    • @JustSomeCanadianGuy
      @JustSomeCanadianGuy Před 2 lety +6

      How?
      It’s just a reminder of how horrible the world is. 🤣

    • @ghostpiratelechuck2259
      @ghostpiratelechuck2259 Před 2 lety +4

      He’s real comfortable trashing Elon… didn’t he say two weeks ago he didn’t care about the effects of sanctions or if gas goes to $15, because he drives a Tesla? 🧐

    • @y_fam_goeglyd
      @y_fam_goeglyd Před 2 lety +15

      Hope tomorrow is better for you, my friend. Many e-hugs for you 🤗

  • @sierrafrank0000F
    @sierrafrank0000F Před 2 lety +165

    Thank you again Stephen for the LOLs on these horrific dark times. It keeps spirit up! Love from Finland

    • @cindypomerleau950
      @cindypomerleau950 Před 2 lety

      United we Stand Finland.
      Let's beat the fascist ideology.
      💙🇺🇦💛

    • @catherinekenny3926
      @catherinekenny3926 Před 2 lety +6

      Stay strong and safe and SANE from the west coast of Scotland x

    • @Marijuanifornia
      @Marijuanifornia Před 2 lety

      The US legalized weed to win World War II. Europeans need to share the 1942 USDA video *Hemp For Victory* throughout all social media.
      Americans don't care about this, so maybe Europeans will take notice because Europe wouldn't exist if the Allies had lost World War II.
      The video was banned from US history books and public broadcasts in order to run anti-marijuana drug war lies and propaganda for almost 50 years after World War II, but the film has been public since 1990 and the war on drugs has actually escalated in that time. This needs to go viral.
      So, if Europeans could help to finally get this noticed, it would change the United States and the United Nations, rearranging the way that the entire world does business, and ultimately stopping climate change by replacing fossil fuels and ending deforestation. Then all of us wouldn't be living through such dark times.

    • @pastasoo
      @pastasoo Před 2 lety

      This war is not a "horrific dark time" for America at all. They get to righteously sanction their cold war adversary to death without lifting a finger or being in the crossfire of war. America has it good.

  • @dsddala467
    @dsddala467 Před 2 lety +72

    This is easily on of Stephen's best monologues.

    • @chonqmonk
      @chonqmonk Před 2 lety +1

      If you would have added "...in the last week or two." -to the end of it, I would agree.

    • @nikolaipersad4098
      @nikolaipersad4098 Před 2 lety

      THIS!!

  • @natashariley8095
    @natashariley8095 Před 2 lety +18

    The lovely staffer off camera laughing so heartily always makes me laugh 😂Fantastic monologue Stephen and co 👌👏

  • @joenisnapje712
    @joenisnapje712 Před 2 lety +379

    People should do this more often, telling the super rich simply “NO” 🛑 Must be priceless to watch the look on their entitled faces change to pure disbelief 👍🏻

    • @Kenghym
      @Kenghym Před 2 lety +59

      That story just screams "Berlin" to anyone who knows that city. People in Germany and many of the freedom loving underground music scenes in particular hate the kind of capitalism Musk embodies. The club in question is also known for being very picky when it comes to its guests with the goal to create a truly open atmosphere to let people express themselves. Elon Musk is the antithesis to that. I bet the bouncers were extatic when they had this chance.

    • @christiansebastianlauritse2404
      @christiansebastianlauritse2404 Před 2 lety +12

      But this collage student living in a dorm room has been to both places. 😉

    • @valariethomas1658
      @valariethomas1658 Před 2 lety +35

      My sister lived in Berlin and was a regular at Berghain with her college friends. She said that they made it a habit to turn away people who took themselves too seriously.

    • @Shinku_no_sanbun
      @Shinku_no_sanbun Před 2 lety +12

      @@valariethomas1658 So most people that use Twitter regularly then.

    • @cindypomerleau950
      @cindypomerleau950 Před 2 lety +19

      @@Shinku_no_sanbun
      Friends don't let friends use Facebook or Twitter.

  • @maret1729
    @maret1729 Před 2 lety +25

    "No matrimony until you can slice bologna" lol

  • @bamse1618
    @bamse1618 Před 2 lety +3

    "Tom Leatherwood.... That's is why you have to use sunscreen." Really Stephen LOL.

  • @mireilledischer3380
    @mireilledischer3380 Před 2 lety +8

    “Seen here unable to identify the pictures that contain stop signs” Thank you! I’ve always thought he looks and behaves non-human.

  • @jcanfieldschatz
    @jcanfieldschatz Před 2 lety +15

    I've actually been looking forward to my nightly Colbert "Is Potato" joke..

  • @gl15col
    @gl15col Před 2 lety +282

    Another reason to legalize marriage at any age is to make it easy for pedophile rapists to marry their victim and avoid being charged. The parents of the poor girl are so embarrassed by their daughters getting knocked up at the age of 12, they find marrying her to her attacker is better than admitting what happened. Real nice, right?

    • @classiclife7204
      @classiclife7204 Před 2 lety

      Real nice. It's almost as if conservative are pro-child-sex by definition. Disgusting people, really.

    • @jcoopes5604
      @jcoopes5604 Před 2 lety +18

      Well Tennessee is trying to do it again snd get rid of the age restrictions

    • @mori1bund
      @mori1bund Před 2 lety +1

      Typical Republican: " we have no probem enabling pedophile rapists as long as we can hurt gay people..."

    • @marvinmartion1178
      @marvinmartion1178 Před 2 lety

      IWJWD!

    • @chonqmonk
      @chonqmonk Před 2 lety +57

      Matt Gaetz is shopping for a home in Tennessee right now.

  • @thisismetoday
    @thisismetoday Před 2 lety +4

    6:44 “Zuckerberg seen here unable to teach his AI human emotions”

  • @charliebozzo9948
    @charliebozzo9948 Před 2 lety +1

    "...unable to identify the pictures with stop signs."
    ON POINT!

  • @TrillBelichick
    @TrillBelichick Před 2 lety +32

    “Pro Tip”
    That was a multidimensional joke 😂

  • @ARIXANDRE
    @ARIXANDRE Před 2 lety +8

    I always love it when the Potato drops.

  • @germanqr
    @germanqr Před 2 lety +46

    Stephen's monologues keep getting better. Kudos to the whole team

    • @suecastillo4056
      @suecastillo4056 Před 2 lety

      And no matter how good a monologue is? I believe it’s gotta have a great delivery system… Colberts it!🤣😂😍

    • @germanqr
      @germanqr Před 2 lety +1

      @@suecastillo4056 absolutely!

  • @jlpack62
    @jlpack62 Před 2 lety +2

    Tom Leatherwood: "shooting" outside. Now there's a double entendre for the ages.

  • @fotosonics
    @fotosonics Před 2 lety +121

    Congrats to Russia on its new tagline, “Is potato.”

    • @stephanlarsen8169
      @stephanlarsen8169 Před 2 lety +1

      What do you call an auto cratic potato 🥔? A dick tater Jah rastafari praises blessings respectfully Tucson Arizona Sonoran desert 🏜️ Jah sisters

    • @music_YT2023
      @music_YT2023 Před 2 lety +7

      Latvia will not stand for this affront!

    • @gustie44
      @gustie44 Před 2 lety +1

      Very lazy

    • @ellevonk.2925
      @ellevonk.2925 Před 2 lety +3

      🥔

    • @youtubewatcher2
      @youtubewatcher2 Před 2 lety +2

      It is also what every denialist and denazification myth spreader gets per comment

  • @shermanculbertson6244
    @shermanculbertson6244 Před 2 lety +224

    I can always count on Stephen’s monologue to make me laugh and smile.

    • @AGentlRose
      @AGentlRose Před 2 lety +19

      During the last administration, I used to say that Stephen Colbert was my Xanax

    • @nadiashireensiddiqi
      @nadiashireensiddiqi Před 2 lety

      U can’t call N*z*’s, what they r on T Twitter as my repeated A/C blockages have proven.

    • @raybin6873
      @raybin6873 Před 2 lety

      This one had an extra high content of make me laugh humor!
      😄

    • @mrsr003
      @mrsr003 Před 2 lety +3

      I’ve learned not to eat or drink while watching!

  • @jcoopes5604
    @jcoopes5604 Před 2 lety +7

    FYI: it’s primary season, register and vote 🗳! We cannot let them get control! Let’s ditch Mitch and minions for all they stand for/on!

  • @hopefulspectator6573
    @hopefulspectator6573 Před 2 lety +2

    The running "Is potato" joke really gets me laughing every time

  • @joannajamerson35
    @joannajamerson35 Před 2 lety +106

    Stephen Colbert keeps me sane and I love John Baptiste

    • @hardybeverly
      @hardybeverly Před 2 lety +2

      John is such a wonderful talent and human!

    • @douglasdavis8395
      @douglasdavis8395 Před 2 lety +5

      @@hardybeverly - And he changed his name to 'Jon Batiste.'

    • @mikeyf7039
      @mikeyf7039 Před 2 lety +1

      @@douglasdavis8395 I’ve been suddenly confused about that, thought I was seeing typos. Interesting.

  • @stitchcrafter
    @stitchcrafter Před 2 lety +400

    That was a MONOLOGUE FOR THE AGES... SO GOOD, made me laugh out loud numous times... THANK YOU.

    • @shepinchains1
      @shepinchains1 Před 2 lety +13

      One of THE greatest of all time! Writers are on fire!!

    • @mrsr003
      @mrsr003 Před 2 lety +11

      Be careful not to eat or drink while watching! Trust me! I know from experience!

    • @zesty9815
      @zesty9815 Před 2 lety +8

      ... the one bank where you _want_ your assets frozen ... leaving my Mark ... the hydroxychloroquine of justice

    • @LenaVideos1000
      @LenaVideos1000 Před 2 lety +2

      "That's why you need to wear sunscreen." Hilarious!

    • @jay-em
      @jay-em Před 2 lety +3

      He was on fire....

  • @randyj420
    @randyj420 Před 2 lety +7

    Now that is a serious writing crew - and amazing delivery by Colbert. Thanks for keeping it real - and hilarious.

  • @queenofzenk
    @queenofzenk Před 2 lety +43

    anyone who sponsors or signs that age of consent bill is 100% sus.

    • @douglasdavis8395
      @douglasdavis8395 Před 2 lety

      Watch a couple of the vids on youtube; gives you a better picture of what happened. I think it was intentional, but what do I know; I live in Indiana?

    • @tdmprofit3708
      @tdmprofit3708 Před 2 lety

      Now you understand what the + was all about. Intergenerational relationships. Well done democrats/ republicans. Same sh.t !

  • @teamvlcn6820
    @teamvlcn6820 Před 2 lety +186

    Calling Zuckerberg 'Sauron' is an insult to the Fallen Maiar.

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Před 2 lety

      I mean, he kind of deserved it. And with he, I mean both of them.

    • @Philrc
      @Philrc Před 2 lety +1

      Eh?

    • @samuelleighton6850
      @samuelleighton6850 Před 2 lety +12

      In The Silmarillion, Sauron was the first werewolf, but when daddy bad guy(Morgoth) got his ass kicked by his kin, all baby dark lord could do was run, hide and plot revenge for a thousand years.
      Eventually he did Bad Things, but it was always a pale imitation of his master.

    • @6666Imperator
      @6666Imperator Před 2 lety +3

      @@Philrc Maiar are lesser gods who decided to go to Arda (the earth)

    • @6666Imperator
      @6666Imperator Před 2 lety +4

      It would make his employees and followers Trolls and Orcs though and that is kinda fitting :p

  • @jakemoeller7850
    @jakemoeller7850 Před 2 lety +1

    "That's why you gotta wear sunscreen."
    😂🤣😂

  • @sewellanne
    @sewellanne Před 2 lety +10

    Love the show, but this was definitely among his funniest. Thanks, Stephen I needed that!

  • @DustyJones1997BGCL
    @DustyJones1997BGCL Před 2 lety +65

    That Tennessee bill is totally insane Matt Gaetz is on his flight over there he was rejected at a Chuck e cheese party for a 12 year old girl lol

    • @youtubewatcher2
      @youtubewatcher2 Před 2 lety

      Someone will no doubt open a divorce mill in western North Carolina to cater to the Gaetzes of the world (and yes I did just get sick in my own mouth at the thought of plural Gaetz)

    • @johndododoe1411
      @johndododoe1411 Před 2 lety +1

      This comedy skit seems to get everything about that law wrong. It may be bad, but the joke just takes one of the possible flaws and claims that flaw is the entire thing. From what I previously heard, the law does something else, then forgets to repeat the age limits from the law about normal marriage, making it unclear if those still apply.

    • @fireflower12
      @fireflower12 Před 2 lety

      @@johndododoe1411 the law itself is intended to be homophobic, but then the language 'accidentally' also allows for child marriage. its garbage through and through

    • @pyrovania
      @pyrovania Před 2 lety

      I heard a story yesterday about the local cops near here keeping an eye on the Chucky Cheese because perverts like to hang out there, they know unattended children visit.

  • @Opus313
    @Opus313 Před 2 lety +42

    The "Is potato" gag could go for quite some time. It's versatile just like potato...

  • @Jaecinth
    @Jaecinth Před 2 lety +6

    “He’s going to destroy democracy”. Truer words have never been said.

  • @christinebates7493
    @christinebates7493 Před 2 lety +19

    Colbert is the best late night talk show host since Johnny Carson! Love Fallon and Kimmel, loved O'Brien......but Colbert has energy, charm and perfect timing! Just perfect in every way.

    • @randyj420
      @randyj420 Před 2 lety +1

      Letterman was the man in the 80s. Period. Broke all the rules and changed everything. Thankfully, Conan picked up and ran with it,.

    • @Ruintheus
      @Ruintheus Před 2 lety

      Agreed. Best since Carson

    • @Beruthiel45
      @Beruthiel45 Před 2 lety +1

      Fallon isn't funny. I stopped watching him. When you watch several different monologues in a row you can see the differences.

  • @ritamariekelley4077
    @ritamariekelley4077 Před 2 lety +67

    Yet the Koch's still won't pull their money and investments out. Koch greed is worse than regular greed.

    • @110100111000
      @110100111000 Před 2 lety

      They ain't get'n any bang for that buck. https :// m.youtube.com /watch? v= LxgMdjyw8uw

    • @cindypomerleau950
      @cindypomerleau950 Před 2 lety

      The Koch empire is still trying to rule the world.
      End Citizens United !
      Vote blue in 22. Urgently.

    • @pastasoo
      @pastasoo Před 2 lety +1

      Unfortunately, the Kochs are rich because they are smart businessmen. Which says a lot for what is going on right now about how stupid liberalism has became.

    • @jmack129
      @jmack129 Před 2 lety +5

      @@pastasoo they Kochs are as rich as they are bc they’re smart AND amoral.
      I know that’s hard to grasp for many Conservatives bc it contradicts the “ME, ME, ME AT ALL COSTS” mentality

    • @cathywethington5913
      @cathywethington5913 Před 2 lety +3

      jmack 129, Exactly! They are rich, like many others, because they are willing to do Anything to Anybody to get there and stay there. For me, though, speaking as agnostic, I think selling your soul is shortsighted and stupid

  • @gixellia8455
    @gixellia8455 Před 2 lety +50

    You just HAVE to love Stephen ❤ He is brilliant ❤

  • @TheSateef
    @TheSateef Před 2 lety +1

    that jury scam is awesome, i wish i'd have thought of it.

  • @TyroneNorwood
    @TyroneNorwood Před 2 lety +1

    The give him a break joke was classic.

  • @mariashevyrova3730
    @mariashevyrova3730 Před 2 lety +13

    Dear Stephen, could you please keep the titles for your videos. We watch them from all around the world and want to understand each of your words. Hugs from Ukraine :*

    • @istdochallesegal3427
      @istdochallesegal3427 Před 2 lety +2

      Slava Ukraini - we have your back!

    • @vsiegel
      @vsiegel Před 2 lety +1

      🇪🇺♥🇺🇦 Slava Ukraini!

    • @youtubewatcher2
      @youtubewatcher2 Před 2 lety +3

      Slava Ukraini from Europe. We are pushing our politicians to help better. At least tanks are finally coming.

  • @BoringTroublemaker
    @BoringTroublemaker Před 2 lety +14

    8:05 that guy laughing has absolutely sunburned his pen!s at some point in his life 😂

  • @hrosensteel
    @hrosensteel Před 2 lety +1

    Jon, loved hearing “Blue Monk” at the end of this segment!❤️❤️❤️ The high priest lives!🎼🎹

    • @BarryRowlingsonBaz
      @BarryRowlingsonBaz Před 2 lety

      I always forget the name of that tune, despite having learnt the main part on guitar may years ago! Thanks for posting this!

  • @zesty9815
    @zesty9815 Před 2 lety +29

    *“Define 'woman'”,* Republicans demanded of a woman nominated to the supreme court.
    “We need to know,” they explained, “because we want to redefine marriage so it's for 'one man and one woman', and *we've accidentally included children.”* (8:57)

    • @dafttool
      @dafttool Před 2 lety +6

      Accidentally?! Pfft. They knew what they were doing

    • @biggb3921
      @biggb3921 Před 2 lety +3

      Except it wasn't an accident they included children

  • @travisc7722
    @travisc7722 Před 2 lety +215

    No matter the world fuckery. Stephen always brings the laughs

    • @marydunigan1721
      @marydunigan1721 Před 2 lety +5

      That's a real talent and so greatly appreciated too!

    • @_mytube_
      @_mytube_ Před 2 lety +3

      and potato

    • @phriedokra6158
      @phriedokra6158 Před 2 lety

      hope he doesnt burn out ...

    • @tma2001
      @tma2001 Před 2 lety

      although the writers didn't realise Elon was making fun of himself with the dancing - its a meme thing - they might want to ask their kids to explain it to them.

    • @genevievegenevieve5205
      @genevievegenevieve5205 Před 2 lety

      Stevee and his family are extremely white privileged. I’m sure they laugh a lot, especially at us. 🤡

  • @solidsnake6123
    @solidsnake6123 Před 2 lety +238

    Stephen always cracks me up! Been a fan since 1999

    • @Echo81Rumple83
      @Echo81Rumple83 Před 2 lety +4

      Ah, the old skool Daily Show...

    • @fl00d69
      @fl00d69 Před 2 lety +5

      He was infinitely better on the Colbert Report.

    • @aliahnicole434
      @aliahnicole434 Před 2 lety +5

      Strangers with candy

    • @themachine8009
      @themachine8009 Před 2 lety +1

      Been a fan in the last five years. Wished I’d discovered him earlier.

    • @SeaJay_Oceans
      @SeaJay_Oceans Před 2 lety

      7:46 ''Leatherwood'' ? Is that even a real name ?!?

  • @wingv313
    @wingv313 Před 2 lety +1

    “Is potato “ is catching on 🤣🤣🤣

  • @mr.mrs.d.7015
    @mr.mrs.d.7015 Před 2 lety +3

    We also need to focus on the fact that 22 states have marriage laws that permit the marrying of children if their parents approve

  • @culvuil
    @culvuil Před 2 lety +7

    This was an epic monolgue, I must say 😎

  • @SpaceForceCommander
    @SpaceForceCommander Před 2 lety +6

    Tuber Eats: Is Potato also.

  • @edwardpossi
    @edwardpossi Před 2 lety +1

    Hilarious from beginning to end, laughed so loud

  • @jedidiahm6437
    @jedidiahm6437 Před 2 lety

    Funniest guy left on TV the only person that gives weekend update a run for their money. Keep em coming

  • @mmartinezPhysics
    @mmartinezPhysics Před 2 lety +6

    Bunker Dwarf is buried in sanctions

  • @matthewbrill5588
    @matthewbrill5588 Před 2 lety +73

    Definitely on a roll in this monologue Stephen. Rock on!

    • @MrNncon
      @MrNncon Před 2 lety

      what do you mean youth marrage is a good idea for political stupidity lol

  • @terrellmoorebennett9970

    Jon, tearing UP that Thelonious Monk! I love it!!!

  • @ittakesallkinds809
    @ittakesallkinds809 Před 2 lety +1

    Stephen is in rare silliness tonight.😁

  • @WanderingSoul22
    @WanderingSoul22 Před 2 lety +61

    You the man Stephen Colbert!!

  • @CJA32able
    @CJA32able Před 2 lety +6

    Omg the Musk dance and ten percent of twitter. 🤣 🤣 😂

  • @naomistarlight6178
    @naomistarlight6178 Před 2 lety +2

    Stephen could totally play a mad scientist villain in a kid's movie! I can see it!

    • @annarose3354
      @annarose3354 Před 10 měsíci

      The only problem is though, can he actually act?

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage Před 2 lety +170

    I'd say Zuck should change his logo to The All Seeing Eye... but CBS beat him to it.

    • @shahnulislam9897
      @shahnulislam9897 Před 2 lety

      Do all the people you love live in a mirror?

    • @TheDarkness1
      @TheDarkness1 Před 2 lety +4

      @@shahnulislam9897 Real question, does anyone love you? Look in the mirror.

    • @TheDarkness1
      @TheDarkness1 Před 2 lety

      Zuck is a thief and a liar says the all seeing eye.

    • @johnwattdotca
      @johnwattdotca Před 2 lety +7

      @@TheDarkness1 "I used to live in a room full of mirrors, and all I could see was me, until I took
      my spirit and smashed all those mirrors, and now the whole world is there for me to see,
      and I'm waiting for my love to be". Jimi Hendrix

    • @shahnulislam9897
      @shahnulislam9897 Před 2 lety

      @@TheDarkness1 awww poor snowflake did i hurt your feelers

  • @dm-do7qz
    @dm-do7qz Před 2 lety +10

    We have to seize the assets of our own oligarchs. Or at least make them pay taxes.

  • @stephanemignot100
    @stephanemignot100 Před 2 lety

    These laid back applause break rhythm, comedy is rhythm!

  • @biggs2110
    @biggs2110 Před 2 lety +5

    “Sperm bank, the one bank where you WANT your assets frozen” might be the best joke I’ve ever heard.

  • @hardybeverly
    @hardybeverly Před 2 lety +31

    I’ve been laughing so much I’m choking on my cough drop nite snack! Very good tonight Stephen!

  • @katsong3302
    @katsong3302 Před 2 lety +89

    and if he doesn’t want to treat his Oakland employees fairly, he just moves his factory out of state.

    • @110100111000
      @110100111000 Před 2 lety

      @@KimJanet-ze5sq m.czcams.com/video/cdpsfBsN_Dg/video.html

    • @Markle2k
      @Markle2k Před 2 lety +1

      Oakland? You need to work on your Bay Area geography skills. And it is adding manufacturing capacity, not moving it. At least not yet. The first cars out are Ys and Cybertruck. S, 3, X, Y are still made in Fremont.

    • @phriedokra6158
      @phriedokra6158 Před 2 lety +1

      pulled out of one Cali place to go to Tx during the start of Covid remember?

    • @cindypomerleau950
      @cindypomerleau950 Před 2 lety +2

      A real American patriot billionaire would build manufacturing capabilities for those chips we are so dependent on China for.
      Just saying.

    • @baxtronx5972
      @baxtronx5972 Před 2 lety

      @@phriedokra6158 Tesla still operates in Cali. You don't remember on purpose.

  • @daverain1967
    @daverain1967 Před 2 lety +1

    They played Blue Monk when they went to break...who does that?!? Baptiste is freakin amazing.

  • @LooKingG00d
    @LooKingG00d Před 2 lety +9

    IN REALITY: this latest sanctions package after Bucha slaughter is almost the weakest so far. Not until russian oil is banned, nothing will make as significant impact. But most countries worry more about blowback from gas price hikes than slaughters in Ukraine

    • @irene5518
      @irene5518 Před 2 lety

      To be fair to the EU there are very very dependent on Russian oil and gas & it isn't they can replace overnight.

    • @LooKingG00d
      @LooKingG00d Před 2 lety

      @@irene5518 that's not entirely true. On gas - yes. Because you need specific infrastructure built to reiceive it liquified via ships for example like Lithuania now does. But EU could replace russian oil pipe even today and receive it shipped from US or other places. And russian economy is more dependent on oil than gas. So it would be very effective

    • @lisbetsoda4874
      @lisbetsoda4874 Před 2 lety

      Worst thing is the Americans complain the most when gas prices go up. Most selfish people right there.

  • @cancangirl2888
    @cancangirl2888 Před 2 lety +10

    Thank you, thank you for my daily “Is potato” dose. Keeping the LOL moments alive in such dark and dire times.

    • @chezmoi42
      @chezmoi42 Před 2 lety +1

      This one was baked to perfection. 🔥🥔🔥

  • @FutureCommentary1
    @FutureCommentary1 Před 2 lety +7

    People all around the world are fighting against child marriage and then... Tennessee. Smh

  • @wesleyrodgers886
    @wesleyrodgers886 Před 2 lety +4

    Another on fire monologue.
    Damn fine writers.

  • @berserkirclaws107
    @berserkirclaws107 Před 2 lety +2

    6:39 Mark Zuckerberg is totally out of touch with people !
    This is one of the funniest thing I watch 😂😂😂

  • @laalaa99stl
    @laalaa99stl Před 2 lety +28

    Hmm. I wonder why the Former White House Occupant didn't drop $2.64B to buy his way back onto Twitter? Wink emoji.

    • @dee_dee_place
      @dee_dee_place Před 2 lety +3

      Deutsche Bank would give him any more loans 😜

    • @esaedvik
      @esaedvik Před 2 lety +3

      @@dee_dee_place Or Sperbank

  • @kiha6702
    @kiha6702 Před 2 lety +10

    Tuber had me cracking up🤣 I was already saying: "Is potatoe' just before Stephen said it😂😂👍

    • @chezmoi42
      @chezmoi42 Před 2 lety +1

      It was one of the best spuds yet.

  • @redwaveofketchup7457
    @redwaveofketchup7457 Před 2 lety

    HOLYMOLY, He was on FIRE tonight!!!🤣

  • @samcahoon7078
    @samcahoon7078 Před rokem +1

    That description of the KitKat club’s wardrobe sounds he was taking about a 4year olds dress up closet attire 😅

  • @AndiGalpern
    @AndiGalpern Před 2 lety +26

    I love Colbert so much. He’s so refreshing to watch after work.

    • @levelazn
      @levelazn Před 2 lety

      Should China sanction Biden for drone striking afghan children ?

  • @joshuamiller5942
    @joshuamiller5942 Před 2 lety +5

    I have a hunch that Tom Leatherwood's meat is also leathery ;-)

  • @Barqu3ntine
    @Barqu3ntine Před 2 lety

    I love Colbert's bad dancing impressions haha

  • @marcy3098
    @marcy3098 Před 2 lety +14

    I've got to stop getting high before Stephen comes on. I almost pee my pants laughing too often. Lol

  • @atiredfloridian777
    @atiredfloridian777 Před 2 lety +99

    Every morning I wake up and ask myself 'there's still a Russia' and then I tell myself, no it's not a country. Is potato.

    • @cybercat29
      @cybercat29 Před 2 lety +4

      😆😅😂🤣

    • @Echo81Rumple83
      @Echo81Rumple83 Před 2 lety +5

      Makes me wanna play Portals 2 for some reason; Glados Potato was a very interesting... tagalong spud... to say the least...

    • @chrissiek8706
      @chrissiek8706 Před 2 lety +1

      First week of this war I would woke up, brush my teeth and check if Kyiv is still holding 😶...

  • @marcusymarcos8750
    @marcusymarcos8750 Před 2 lety

    “Frozen Assets” that was strong. 💪🏻😂

  • @myjewelry4u
    @myjewelry4u Před 2 lety

    I’m not even done watching this, but I’m laughing!

  • @CherishEachDay2023
    @CherishEachDay2023 Před 2 lety +6

    Hydroxychloroquine of justice 🤣🤣🤣

  • @Lucius1958
    @Lucius1958 Před 2 lety +20

    Twitter: we would gladly exchange the 'edit' button for a 'delete Nazis' button...
    Oh, btw, that goes for the rest of social media as well.

  • @6lenWasHere
    @6lenWasHere Před 2 lety +1

    10:21 “Ten thousand jollers”

  • @marykaybrewster
    @marykaybrewster Před 2 lety

    “Tuber” hysterical!

  • @danbridges4755
    @danbridges4755 Před 2 lety +3

    Him dancing. Omg 🤦‍♂️

  • @mind_of_a_darkhorse
    @mind_of_a_darkhorse Před 2 lety +10

    This was a great monologue!

  • @maxwellgolden9592
    @maxwellgolden9592 Před 2 lety +1

    The sex club joke was amazing. You got this Stephen!