FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/ Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/ Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations Follow Me On Instagram instagram.com/jonathonaslay/ Join my primary channel to get access to perks: czcams.com/channels/DOXs_34FF93o66Z-S0py1g.htmljoin Naked Divorce/Naked Recovery nakeddivorce.com/?ref=jonathonaslay Get a FREE copy of my dating vows here: www.jonathonaslay.com/datingvows
Guilty as charged. However, when I give up on the man, he comes back and gets upset that I don’t have the same passion for him as before. I fall in love, pretty hard, but when he doesn’t respond after a while, I lose interest.
This happened to me. I fell hard early, which surprised me, too. Didn’t realize it was a red flag until it was late. When he didn’t reciprocate, I got shy and learned to unlove. I backed off and from time to time he would text me. But the warmth is not the same anymore.
I knew a police officer with major PTSD he left and went for councilling. He was actually my boss. He would call text send pictures I would reach out no response. I cared for him and I told him as i was feeling confused and anxious. He said you're wonderful but I need boundaries I can only be friends and it needs to be on my terms. I said thank you for clarification I understand take care. This isn't being friends this is when I need attention I'll reach out. I'm actually relieved.
It’s sad times that we have to self analyse before conversing or during conversation. You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person after all, so keep being you. If it comes across as desperation then that’s not your person
It’s not sad .. it’s smart to self-analyze and continually learn and improve… to live consciously means to constantly grow .. - so yea constantly liking is people pleasing and very codependent - many people pleaser were raised by unsafe caregivers.. food for thought..
I have some men get mad at me for not answering them. It is nothing against them. I was married for 26 yrs. When i got divorced , i had 2 kids to raise. And, now I'm happy being me😊
Keep preaching on, Jonathon. ❤️ An Insecure Man Cannot Handle A Strong Confident Woman - Natalie Clarice podcast Once you reach a certain age, you become permanently unimpressed by many things. That age for myself was 30.
I’ve definitely got issues with micro traumas. Rejected by my biological parents then by my adoptive mother. She merely tolerated my presence. Being a Ginger, I was rejected and/or ridiculed by my peers and also some adults. These things really FD me up emotionally. Twice divorced, engaged for about five years which also ended badly, sprinkled with a few bad relationships😞 I do give up too much too soon🤬A real recipe for disaster.
Look people, no man is without baggage : ex wife issues, financial problems, addictions, mental health challenges, and various other stuff that eventually comes out. Pick your poisons carefully.
Be proud of being a ginger. I was a natural redhead and had my share of handsome suitors when younger. I was a plain kid that grew into a swan. Yes I did get teased at school but not often with my temper...he he. I'll bet you are lovely inside and out.
I'm grieving so much this year. He past on Feb 10 th , He was always close to Me and my best bear hug person when I needed them most. Sooo at time craving that long strong hugs.
My mother neglected me emotionally because she had to keep chasing after my younger brother who was a behavioral nightmare. She died in 2009 and apologized to me a couple of days before she died. But the damage was done decades before and never left. I've always had attachment/ abandonment issues and stayed the wrong guy for 18 years. Thank God we weren't married. After I got diagnosed with brain cancer in 2016, I thought my life was over, both in terms of survival and in romantic possibilities because I was left with neurological issues. I beat it but I was isolated for so long (because I couldn't drive because I was having seizures) that I don't know if I can ever have a healthy relationship. Plus when I was sick, people I thought I knew walked away from me like cancer was contagious. Treatment was brutal and not only could I not drive but I was constantly fatigued. I find that men only want a woman who doesn't have any health problems that limit her physical abilities and I'm still working on my strength and balance. I'm 65 and have had to prepare myself for never having a life partner.
I'm not looking for that commitment right of the bat, but an understanding that eventually I would like to find my life partner not just a party buddy. So even if we for whatever reason can't be that for each other we leave with respect and understanding that we weren't right for each other.
OMG I have totally resisted "Dating Websites" I need to be able to read and experience someone's Energy & that is just not possible strictly thru "Technology" & sites!! Amen
I agree with you 100%! Just call me a Jonathonaholic, happily addicted to his enthusiastic delivery of his expertise & honesty! Great advice to make lists of "Must Haves" and "Deal-Breakers"! Should I limit the number of items on these lists in any way? Your suggestion got me thinking very concretely, thanks, dearest Jonathon! Focus, focus, focus, right? By the way, you're adorable!
If people are meeting up for non aligned direction, it is all kinda mute to try & define desperate. In essence we are all pre disposed given how fast the world is spinning on demand. People are either genuine about connecting or fence walkers, nobody is desperate about fence walkers. transparent Communicating is how you build a foundational relationship, and usually an applied time investment
Totally agree, microtraumas are grossly underrated. I have worked with male clients (from Western countries) who are still suffering from the rejection they had expierenced as teenagers from being rejected by a crush 30 years ago. They majority of Western people doesn`t have resiliance and doesn`t know how to deal with rejection.
In both my marriages I was hungry and thirsty for love, and they crashed. The reason is most certain the lack of love from my mother. Now I am lucky in my freedom and enjoy it, free from my mother who died 2 years ago and free my husbands.
Sometimes when I'm getting to know someone initially, if I feel anxious in starting to get to know them (up and down on a constant basis), then I think of that as a red flag. Life is hard enough! I want to feel a calmness and even-ness where I feel the attraction is mutual and genuine.
Great show, great content, Jonathon! Loved this video. Really enjoyed Ruth in the hot seat. What a beautiful lady inside and out. Wish her all the best. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Hello. Thank you for the video. You mentioned to women “don’t give too much” or “don’t over give”. I understand giving is a Broad act, giving a hug, time, money. It ranges. For the purpose of clarity, can you please state what you define as giving too much ? What is too much and when ?
Thank you for this review. I feel somewhat lucky that I'm too old to have grown up with texting, etc. It's still kind of an "Oh yeah, that ... " option. I'll text all right but not daily. I don't like feeling tethered to the damn phone, so assume that a romantic interest would feel similarly. Anyway, all these gestures speak of a lack of self value and confidence. And I'm learning that every day I need to do something to demonstrate to myself that I'm a worthy, valuable human being. It usually involves doing something for someone else, or doing something of value for myself alone.
If i click like on a post or multiple posts it's because i genuinely like the post(s) not because im desperate.... people are so afraid to be themselves because of what someone will think that they're conscious of trivial things like that but if im being judged on something like that then I'm with the wrong person lol
What percentage of men watch your channel Jonathon? After your coaching, have they evolved into high quality men like you? Would you ever lead a meet and greet?
Sometimes you know that it’s right, it’s true and it’s timely…. And then I believe two good people can make a relationship work IF you work at it… so I call this a heavenly meeting and if both feel the same why not…. I love me, so why not happen to have found a true companion… to love! It’s not sexual bc that comes naturally after!
Why is it always termed as trama,we are all flawed and we all have different experiences alot do the best they can with what they have,this could tramatise some.
Omgoodness! The more I listen to you, the more I realized what a piece of work I am lol! I WAS an over giver because I always wanted him to feel special. I felt I wasn’t being “nice” me if I didn’t give. I chased most of my life, finally realized my wounds from childhood and why I was doing it. At 64 I have finally given up and now working on me. If one day the one Jesus wants me with finds me, great…. if I’m alone, so be it. To me it’s Jesus in a person that is so beautiful, I will only date a Christian man as that is what Jesus wants, an equal yoke. I feel I am searching for a depth of love I will never find or experience. Will see what the future holds. I need to BE, what I want to attract! Thanks for all your help. Hoping all come to realize what life is all about🙏🏽👍🏽
I experienced microtraumas on a daily basis growing up. Up to about the time I left home and was married. Then it was another whole set of micotraumas with my husband and in the workplace. There is just no escaping it.
I laughed hard tonight when you said like , like, like , like , like , like., like , like , like lol so funny I have had guys do that to me like a million likes lol I like your funny side but follow a lot of your advice too! Your the best!! Ty
I know Im an anomaly but I love men who show off (for me), are deeply caring, financially generous and its a huge plus if they are loud or extraverted naturally. . Those are the personality traits I find very attractive and most dudes try and quelch who they are to fit a narrative which on dates causes me to quelch who I am.. quietish, shy, loves great jokes, sexy and emotionally generous. The tips here are good I need to mention another one. Many of my female friends ask their dates to text them once they get home and I find it odd, call me old fashioned but I am impressed with a male if they do that but it looks strange to me when I see females doing that almost like they are assuming the masculine role so they can lead communication or set the dude up for endless texting, it smells desperate. I agree with meeting people organically, I think its better especially for mutual attraction. Alot of people look perfect on paper but there is no chemistry, you get to skip alot of those endless, overly sanitizing steps when you meet in person.
You took my comment off about my husband's me not knowing if they're narcissist I do know one thing all three of them were demon possessed and I I feel sorry for the women who went out with these three guys I divorced all three they all had the same ways just different names.. oh well I never thought about it but they must have the same demon
I am still confused about the validation matter. What is the definition in your opinion of healthy validation? I was for three months talking to someone on a dating site, I did like him a lot, and he did like me in return, but during these three months, I was looking for validation, who was that person I was chatting with whom I could not see? who is he in reality? Why is he not moving out of that site to take the next step? when he did not give this connection the respect and the validation I stepped back and cut completely?. Do you think I looked desperate in this situation?
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Guilty as charged. However, when I give up on the man, he comes back and gets upset that I don’t have the same passion for him as before. I fall in love, pretty hard, but when he doesn’t respond after a while, I lose interest.
I hear ya
You mean "I hear ya"@@JonathonAslay
This happened to me. I fell hard early, which surprised me, too. Didn’t realize it was a red flag until it was late. When he didn’t reciprocate, I got shy and learned to unlove. I backed off and from time to time he would text me. But the warmth is not the same anymore.
I knew a police officer with major PTSD he left and went for councilling. He was actually my boss. He would call text send pictures I would reach out no response. I cared for him and I told him as i was feeling confused and anxious. He said you're wonderful but I need boundaries I can only be friends and it needs to be on my terms. I said thank you for clarification I understand take care. This isn't being friends this is when I need attention I'll reach out. I'm actually relieved.
I think it is a sad reflection on our society if a person must remember to limit expressing "likes" or be considered desperate.
Or hide hard earned accomplishments or we might be trying to impress someone
Excessive is desperate
I agree. And it is botj men and women.
It’s sad times that we have to self analyse before conversing or during conversation. You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person after all, so keep being you. If it comes across as desperation then that’s not your person
It’s not sad .. it’s smart to self-analyze and continually learn and improve… to live consciously means to constantly grow .. - so yea constantly liking is people pleasing and very codependent - many people pleaser were raised by unsafe caregivers.. food for thought..
I started to get into a situationship with a guy only to find out his big turn on is to see me with another man! This is what’s out there 🙄
"I'm not better than you..." What a precious statement from Jonathon!
I have some men get mad at me for not answering them. It is nothing against them. I was married for 26 yrs. When i got divorced , i had 2 kids to raise. And, now I'm happy being me😊
🙏
Block them. They will still get mad but you don’t have to be exposed to their toxicity
Exactly, Gigi. Deep six.
Keep preaching on, Jonathon. ❤️
An Insecure Man Cannot Handle A Strong Confident Woman - Natalie Clarice podcast
Once you reach a certain age, you become permanently unimpressed by many things. That age for myself was 30.
Will do!
Good one, Sherri!
Hi Leaf. Thanks.
Well said. Weak and insecure women can't handle strong women.
I’ve definitely got issues with micro traumas. Rejected by my biological parents then by my adoptive mother. She merely tolerated my presence. Being a Ginger, I was rejected and/or ridiculed by my peers and also some adults. These things really FD me up emotionally. Twice divorced, engaged for about five years which also ended badly, sprinkled with a few bad relationships😞 I do give up too much too soon🤬A real recipe for disaster.
Sending you a hug, that must have been hard.
Gingers are beautiful ❤
Look people, no man is without baggage : ex wife issues, financial problems, addictions, mental health challenges, and various other stuff that eventually comes out. Pick your poisons carefully.
Be proud of being a ginger. I was a natural redhead and had my share of handsome suitors when younger.
I was a plain kid that grew into a swan.
Yes I did get teased at school but not often with my temper...he he.
I'll bet you are lovely inside and out.
Like the suit jkt & collar it reflects your professional great advise
I appreciate that!
I like the jacket better honestly. Some of the shirts he wears look cheap looking.
Happy to be alive. Great points number 6) is me!!
Working on that
Balance yes
I'm grieving so much this year. He past on Feb 10 th , He was always close to Me and my best bear hug person when I needed them most. Sooo at time craving that long strong hugs.
I definitely resonate to old school dating strategies. I bet that relationship you seek will find you Jonathan.
Loved this session. So totally woke me up!!!
So glad!
My mother neglected me emotionally because she had to keep chasing after my younger brother who was a behavioral nightmare. She died in 2009 and apologized to me a couple of days before she died. But the damage was done decades before and never left. I've always had attachment/ abandonment issues and stayed the wrong guy for 18 years. Thank God we weren't married. After I got diagnosed with brain cancer in 2016, I thought my life was over, both in terms of survival and in romantic possibilities because I was left with neurological issues. I beat it but I was isolated for so long (because I couldn't drive because I was having seizures) that I don't know if I can ever have a healthy relationship. Plus when I was sick, people I thought I knew walked away from me like cancer was contagious. Treatment was brutal and not only could I not drive but I was constantly fatigued. I find that men only want a woman who doesn't have any health problems that limit her physical abilities and I'm still working on my strength and balance. I'm 65 and have had to prepare myself for never having a life partner.
I'm not looking for that commitment right of the bat, but an understanding that eventually I would like to find my life partner not just a party buddy. So even if we for whatever reason can't be that for each other we leave with respect and understanding that we weren't right for each other.
Respect is a good way to start...
I believe in the organic way as well. Best of luck to you, and looking forward to hearing about your experiences 😊
Thank you so much!
Good to hear that Marie is doing well.
I definitely resonate with you about the traditional way of dating.❤️
As always' great content jonathon..
This was tremendous loved the hot seat. Clapped out loud while watching. Thanks Jonathan
OMG I have totally resisted "Dating Websites" I need to be able to read and experience someone's Energy & that is just not possible strictly thru "Technology" & sites!! Amen
Your content is always interesting
Thanks
This is so true Jonathon , love your channel! 💕
Thanks so much!
I agree with you 100%! Just call me a Jonathonaholic, happily addicted to his enthusiastic delivery of his expertise & honesty!
Great advice to make lists of "Must Haves" and "Deal-Breakers"! Should I limit the number of items on these lists in any way? Your suggestion got me thinking very concretely, thanks, dearest Jonathon!
Focus, focus, focus,
right? By the way, you're adorable!
If people are meeting up for non aligned direction, it is all kinda mute to try & define desperate.
In essence we are all pre disposed given how fast the world is spinning on demand.
People are either genuine about connecting or fence walkers, nobody is desperate about fence walkers. transparent Communicating is how you build a foundational relationship, and usually an applied time investment
Totally agree, microtraumas are grossly underrated. I have worked with male clients (from Western countries) who are still suffering from the rejection they had expierenced as teenagers from being rejected by a crush 30 years ago. They majority of Western people doesn`t have resiliance and doesn`t know how to deal with rejection.
Exactly!
You are doing important work ❤
In both my marriages I was hungry and thirsty for love, and they crashed.
The reason is most certain the lack of love from my mother.
Now I am lucky in my freedom and enjoy it, free from my mother who died 2 years ago and free my husbands.
Sometimes when I'm getting to know someone initially, if I feel anxious in starting to get to know them (up and down on a constant basis), then I think of that as a red flag. Life is hard enough! I want to feel a calmness and even-ness where I feel the attraction is mutual and genuine.
P.S. love the duck tape....rip it off and go direct!
Yep! My partner sooths all my insecurities! 🥰
yes
😊
Like your Comment Effort should be equal effort.
It definitely does resonate with me too!
So glad!
Excellent show Jonathan !! .. Ruth should be your new cohost 😉🤩😘
Great show, great content, Jonathon! Loved this video. Really enjoyed Ruth in the hot seat. What a beautiful lady inside and out. Wish her all the best. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Glad you enjoyed it!
This is correct….❤
I was never hugged or kissed or edified in my family back, and I just wanna be loved for me… but loving on me right now
😔
Hello. Thank you for the video. You mentioned to women “don’t give too much” or “don’t over give”. I understand giving is a Broad act, giving a hug, time, money. It ranges. For the purpose of clarity, can you please state what you define as giving too much ? What is too much and when ?
Thank you for this review. I feel somewhat lucky that I'm too old to have grown up with texting, etc. It's still kind of an "Oh yeah, that ... " option. I'll text all right but not daily. I don't like feeling tethered to the damn phone, so assume that a romantic interest would feel similarly. Anyway, all these gestures speak of a lack of self value and confidence. And I'm learning that every day I need to do something to demonstrate to myself that I'm a worthy, valuable human being. It usually involves doing something for someone else, or doing something of value for myself alone.
Thanks for sharing 👍🏼
I detest texting. However, everyone is different.
To each their own. For me, texting is very efficient plus I have a digital record so I can review past texts. Who can remember what someone said.
If i click like on a post or multiple posts it's because i genuinely like the post(s) not because im desperate.... people are so afraid to be themselves because of what someone will think that they're conscious of trivial things like that but if im being judged on something like that then I'm with the wrong person lol
It is if the person is trying to get the other persons attention...
@@JonathonAslay I realize when guys do this, that's often why. I think women are more direct but everyone can be different
I'm guilty of overly giving so much of my heart and Love of God to everyone I feel very compelled or drawn to.
What percentage of men watch your channel Jonathon? After your coaching, have they evolved into high quality men like you? Would you ever lead a meet and greet?
7.8%
Sometimes you know that it’s right, it’s true and it’s timely….
And then I believe two good people can make a relationship work IF you work at it… so I call this a heavenly meeting and if both feel the same why not…. I love me, so why not happen to have found a true companion… to love! It’s not sexual bc that comes naturally after!
Why is it always termed as trama,we are all flawed and we all have different experiences alot do the best they can with what they have,this could tramatise some.
I keep missing your live videos!!
Next time!
Me too, and I'm subscribed so I'm not sure why I'm not getting the notifications.
@@pamelarodriguez5674 Same!!!
Omgoodness! The more I listen to you, the more I realized what a piece of work I am lol! I WAS an over giver because I always wanted him to feel special. I felt I wasn’t being “nice” me if I didn’t give.
I chased most of my life, finally realized my wounds from childhood and why I was doing it. At 64 I have finally given up and now working on me. If one day the one Jesus wants me with finds me, great…. if I’m alone, so be it. To me it’s Jesus in a person that is so beautiful, I will only date a Christian man as that is what Jesus wants, an equal yoke. I feel I am searching for a depth of love I will never find or experience. Will see what the future holds. I need to BE, what I want to attract! Thanks for all your help.
Hoping all come to realize what life is all about🙏🏽👍🏽
All true
Yes... sad
I experienced microtraumas on a daily basis growing up. Up to about the time I left home and was married. Then it was another whole set of micotraumas with my husband and in the workplace. There is just no escaping it.
Exactly
I laughed hard tonight when you said like , like, like , like , like , like., like , like , like lol so funny I have had guys do that to me like a million likes lol I like your funny side but follow a lot of your advice too! Your the best!! Ty
Glad you enjoyed
I am Turkish, too. Lol. I can say men here in the States are equally (if not more) emotionally immature like the ones in Turkey 😂
Humans are wacky
Fellow turk here and I wholeheartedly do agree.
I know Im an anomaly but I love men who show off (for me), are deeply caring, financially generous and its a huge plus if they are loud or extraverted naturally. . Those are the personality traits I find very attractive and most dudes try and quelch who they are to fit a narrative which on dates causes me to quelch who I am.. quietish, shy, loves great jokes, sexy and emotionally generous. The tips here are good I need to mention another one. Many of my female friends ask their dates to text them once they get home and I find it odd, call me old fashioned but I am impressed with a male if they do that but it looks strange to me when I see females doing that almost like they are assuming the masculine role so they can lead communication or set the dude up for endless texting, it smells desperate. I agree with meeting people organically, I think its better especially for mutual attraction. Alot of people look perfect on paper but there is no chemistry, you get to skip alot of those endless, overly sanitizing steps when you meet in person.
I never heard anyone talk about
I thought the 3 date rule meant we women might be willing to give it up by then. I didn't know that men had a three date rule.
Jonathon, What makes a good woman’s profile? Is there a good book on the subject?
Simple... quality photos and a well written essay.
You took my comment off about my husband's me not knowing if they're narcissist I do know one thing all three of them were demon possessed and I I feel sorry for the women who went out with these three guys I divorced all three they all had the same ways just different names.. oh well I never thought about it but they must have the same demon
I didn't remove your comment, CZcams does that...
When the Men start talking about all the Stuff And Things . It's a Major burn off!
Some people dont have good skills on technology
Yes
I am still confused about the validation matter. What is the definition in your opinion of healthy validation? I was for three months talking to someone on a dating site, I did like him a lot, and he did like me in return, but during these three months, I was looking for validation, who was that person I was chatting with whom I could not see? who is he in reality? Why is he not moving out of that site to take the next step? when he did not give this connection the respect and the validation I stepped back and cut completely?. Do you think I looked desperate in this situation?
Sounds like you were seeking verification of his intent...
Good for you not letting yourself get catfished.
Why would you be writing to someone for months on a dating site? A couple of text, then a few phone calls… then… if mutual… we meet.
Three to four nights a week, is a lot, to give up myself.
If you were married, would you spend less time?
Would love to see Marie again!
Best to you both!
I would like to see Marie again as well - would like to hear her side of the story on the breakup.
I talked to her about it and maybe in December or January she'll hop on a live...
Live guests will be more effective if they have a time period to put their thoughts across bearing in mind they are not media professionals
Yes
I haven't watched in awhile. What happened to the lady you were dating that moved out here and you got a place together?
Watch the video in August titled Letting Go
I know you aren’t dating Jonathon, but is Marie?
@JonathonAslay Oh no....don't tell me 😥. Before I watch....if you parted ways, I'm sorry. I will watch right now.
She moved from California to Florida.
I like you in white JA 👍.
Nice if you remember I told you it's good if you find someone near you 😊.
So true!
Desperate wrong person
?
Western countries? That's a bit of a sweeping judgement isn't it ....such a shallow comment ...
That's not what I said... btw, 98% of my clients are from the USA
👍 140, 🎯 🥰
140?
@@JonathonAslay 140th person to like video.
Off to work.
Enjoy a fabulous day, Jonathon!
🤗☔️🍂🍁🍂🇨🇦
@@LeafsIn2024 Cute
Yay! I see your emojis. Rock it, Toronto!
@@pamelarodriguez5674 Thank you! 💙🏒🥅🚨