Guessing Random Things About You #2 | ASMR

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  • čas přidán 10. 05. 2019
  • Once again I try to guess random things about you. For important research and scientific purposes, of course!
    Website ► ephemeralrift.com
    Patreon ► bit.ly/1EZgmNi
    Listen to selected works outside of CZcams:
    Spotify ► bit.ly/1V23U60
    CDBaby ► bit.ly/1AUt3Jj
    iTunes ► apple.co/1xIHLNd
    Podcasts:
    EphemRadio (on hiatus) ► apple.co/2afSkZQ
    Arkham Sanitarium (on hiatus) ►apple.co/2alraeV
    Social Media:
    Facebook ► / ephemeralrift1
    Twitter ► / ephemeralrift
    IG ► / e.rift
    What is ASMR?
    ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. It's a non-scientific word that an everyday person came up with to describe the feeling characterized as a pleasurable tingling sensation felt in the head, scalp, back and other regions of the body in response to visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, and/or cognitive stimuli, such as crinkling bags, hand movements, whispering, personal attention or watching someone perform a task. It's like goosebumps but much more pleasant and without the uncomfortable chills.
    ASMR videos are meant to intentionally induce this sensation in the viewer, often referred to as "tingles", but the videos also serve to provide a relaxing, calming and soothing experience for the viewer. Many people who do not experience ASMR still enjoy the videos for their calming and sleepy effect.
  • Zábava

Komentáře • 3,1K

  • @WesleyPonZi
    @WesleyPonZi Před 5 lety +5048

    1:56 me at a multiple choice test i didn’t study for

  • @charliemclean2421
    @charliemclean2421 Před 4 lety +3791

    “Your favourite fruit is not a vegetable” I mean the man has his job for a reason

    • @gamerbros3431
      @gamerbros3431 Před 4 lety +9

      Are watermelons a vegetable?

    • @ChunkieBoy777
      @ChunkieBoy777 Před 4 lety +29

      Gamer Bros I’m pretty sure they’re berries, same for tomatoes

    • @schpeltora1667
      @schpeltora1667 Před 4 lety +12

      @@gamerbros3431 no because they have seeds

    • @markassbrownie214
      @markassbrownie214 Před 3 lety +4

      Schpeltora But bananas are considered berries and they have seeds.

    • @woodpecker2545
      @woodpecker2545 Před 3 lety +1

      Tomatoes are berries? All what school told me is a big lie ;-;

  • @styxshapeshifts
    @styxshapeshifts Před 4 lety +4573

    ER: “Are you here because you are running from the feds?”
    Me: *sweats in tax fraud*

  • @DCgames100
    @DCgames100 Před 4 lety +693

    Him: "you were not born in the year 1729, no 1728"
    Me (born in 1729): well I'll be darned

  • @pepega6683
    @pepega6683 Před 5 lety +3931

    ER : Is your birthday between januray 1st and december 31st
    Me : Show me your tricks wizard

    • @skrimp44
      @skrimp44 Před 4 lety +132

      My birthday is on leap day so my birthday isn't between January 1st or December 31 except for every four years

    • @golden_xp_
      @golden_xp_ Před 4 lety +75

      Mines December the 32nd

    • @AerophiIe
      @AerophiIe Před 4 lety +27

      Giorno Giovanna dude that’s epic

    • @lycaneen
      @lycaneen Před 4 lety +4

      I love how your pb fits

    • @ratif8298
      @ratif8298 Před 4 lety +8

      Yo I finally found xQc outside of stream

  • @roland7799
    @roland7799 Před 5 lety +3292

    ER:”Are you allergic to the sound of ‘yellow,?”
    Me: *sneezes*

  • @henrihatch7429
    @henrihatch7429 Před 4 lety +554

    ER: "Let me guess, you're favorite dinosaur is..."
    Me: "He'll never guess"
    ER: "...Extinct"
    Me: "..."

    • @halleys.comett
      @halleys.comett Před 4 lety +2

      Henri Brachiosaurus! Oh uh well uh yeah, extinct

    • @ObsidianSnake12
      @ObsidianSnake12 Před 4 lety

      Seriously what is it? Mine is Dromeosaurus

    • @boopsboops7692
      @boopsboops7692 Před 4 lety +1

      Chicken!

    • @alexhaworth757
      @alexhaworth757 Před 3 lety

      If it isn't longisquama - (or if you need an official dinosaur rather than a reptile, Troodon), then you are wrong

    • @thepizzatime3502
      @thepizzatime3502 Před 3 lety

      Well yeah hes not wrong

  • @mydude7374
    @mydude7374 Před 4 lety +2606

    I love how we can't disagree with him so every question is right

    • @boopsboops7692
      @boopsboops7692 Před 4 lety +69

      I circumvent this by warping reality to personally tell him he’s wrong.

    • @boopsboops7692
      @boopsboops7692 Před 4 lety +47

      Note the fact that I don’t tell him specifically what is wrong and I don’t go back in time. I just appear

    • @cristianorozco9236
      @cristianorozco9236 Před 4 lety +5

      We?

    • @ShaqirGD
      @ShaqirGD Před 4 lety +4

      Cloudy _ shut up bitch

    • @cristianorozco9236
      @cristianorozco9236 Před 4 lety +11

      5ud who the fuck was talking to you fucking pussy

  • @bashinblocks9423
    @bashinblocks9423 Před 5 lety +1061

    *Captain America enters the room and sits in chair*
    “So, you can’t sleep again...”

    • @foamydamphalo149
      @foamydamphalo149 Před 5 lety +19

      *Peter Parker in bed*
      "Yeah, wait didn't I fight with you and you said 'hey, New Queens, catch' and you Thor's hammer.

    • @sth02
      @sth02 Před 5 lety +13

      I slept for 70 years, sir. Think I've had my fill.

    • @Killerbeast-hx5qp
      @Killerbeast-hx5qp Před 5 lety +4

      Lmao this should be on sleep for the sleepless 2

    • @aidansmith4381
      @aidansmith4381 Před 5 lety

      LMAO

    • @frost.bytten2023
      @frost.bytten2023 Před 5 lety

      @@sth02 yes.

  • @gref3983
    @gref3983 Před 5 lety +1374

    “Let me guess, you were born in the year 1729”
    Captain James Cook: ...
    “Wait no, 1728”
    Captain James Cook: *WITCHCRAFT*

  • @blutooths6581
    @blutooths6581 Před 4 lety +333

    21:42 "you seem a very complex interesting person"
    Me who only eats vanilla: mm hm

  • @yellostarr
    @yellostarr Před 3 lety +352

    13:30 This is the funniest and most random thing I've ever heard on ER and i love it

    • @noodleboodle9750
      @noodleboodle9750 Před 2 lety +21

      But is motherfucker your favorite swear word?

    • @Raiko01
      @Raiko01 Před 2 lety +65

      the unusual straightfowardness caught me so offguard i burst laughing

    • @yellostarr
      @yellostarr Před 2 lety +5

      @@noodleboodle9750 yes

    • @furbyslay4857
      @furbyslay4857 Před 2 lety +18

      HOW DOES THIS MAN KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE???

    • @kylejustkyle1976
      @kylejustkyle1976 Před 2 lety

      Motherfucker dude, that was funny

  • @ozflores8774
    @ozflores8774 Před 5 lety +739

    Me: In bed
    ER: Your favorite ice cream flavor is... Rocky Road
    Me: (Eyes shoot wide open) This man is a wizard

    • @sansdeltarune7510
      @sansdeltarune7510 Před 5 lety +27

      Error 808
      Me: *locks door and closes windows*

    • @onceupxn
      @onceupxn Před 4 lety +27

      You're a Blizzard, Harry!
      I'm A wHAt?
      You're a lizard, Harry...

    • @AutoSearPin
      @AutoSearPin Před 4 lety +1

      It hit me that hard though

    • @mayat5735
      @mayat5735 Před 4 lety

      I fr did this I was like how tf...👀

    • @mr.catman6911
      @mr.catman6911 Před 4 lety +4

      Rocky road is for cowards, spicy ice cream is for real men

  • @mountainbikingmemer8978
    @mountainbikingmemer8978 Před 5 lety +3002

    ER: your favourite dinosaur Is extinct
    Me: WHAT KIND OF SORCERY IS THIS

  • @livylou4039
    @livylou4039 Před 4 lety +143

    ER: Is the second number of your social security number...
    Me: Let me stop you right there.

  • @xx_flanagan_xx6423
    @xx_flanagan_xx6423 Před 2 lety +176

    He starts guessing at 11:20 , you’re welcome

  • @panflip
    @panflip Před 5 lety +285

    Him: would you care for some clipboard sounds
    Me: if they needed me

    • @finn5286
      @finn5286 Před 4 lety +5

      Rift: starts tapping on clipboard
      You: hoops da fuq u doin

  • @Magii
    @Magii Před 5 lety +1621

    13:30 caught me off guard 😂

    • @JLawL
      @JLawL Před 5 lety +97

      He's said far worse in his videos xD

    • @tinysquid8786
      @tinysquid8786 Před 5 lety +14

      same

    • @Fatherlessbiped
      @Fatherlessbiped Před 5 lety +84

      HAhA He SaId A SwEaR WoRd!!! Bitch stfu you moist toenail

    • @vraj-fj9oj
      @vraj-fj9oj Před 5 lety +34

      Yeah he went iggy manley mode at 13:30

    • @bretta.6926
      @bretta.6926 Před 5 lety +11

      Demonetized lol

  • @goblinslayer310
    @goblinslayer310 Před 4 lety +275

    when you close your eyes, you can see... nothing
    damn, i think he got us lads

    • @sophisticatedsheep8178
      @sophisticatedsheep8178 Před 4 lety +3

      What if I see people walking around when my eyes are closed
      (I'm serious about that why can I see people)

    • @madbird6338
      @madbird6338 Před 4 lety +7

      5 thousand subs with no Videos that is called augmentative allursivititative hemorrhage apostonations meaning that whenever you close your eyes you see people walking as if you are on a street the ways people contract that is by reading this entire complete bullshit thing I just said cause I made this all up hoping you would think it might be something legit at first have a nice day.

    • @grant4150
      @grant4150 Před 3 lety +3

      *NOT IF IM ON ACID*

    • @thepizzatime3502
      @thepizzatime3502 Před 3 lety

      @@sophisticatedsheep8178 did you snort glue again? Ugh im getting annoyed with having to tell you to stop so much

    • @notbonald
      @notbonald Před rokem

      You can see the back of your eyelids

  • @cwderton
    @cwderton Před 4 lety +450

    ER: Let me guess, your home?
    It was and it was beautiful.

    • @sowfy9773
      @sowfy9773 Před 4 lety

      😂

    • @ItsLiamItsThomas
      @ItsLiamItsThomas Před 4 lety

      Man I thought the same thing every time I heard him say let me guess😂

    • @Shummi_
      @Shummi_ Před 3 lety +3

      *Godzilla had a stroke reading your comment.*

    • @leahmagee5220
      @leahmagee5220 Před 3 lety +4

      Did they call you a madman too by any chance?

    • @ReturnMonke
      @ReturnMonke Před 3 lety

      Ee: let me guess how you look umm you have a nose, teeth,hair,and eyes oh wait i got it right

  • @wikern7010
    @wikern7010 Před 5 lety +605

    This is the type of video where you can make a meme out of every timestamp possible

    • @endermage77
      @endermage77 Před 5 lety +8

      Okey
      Time to start a meme making train
      Here's your first stamp: 2:41

    • @cara_melly
      @cara_melly Před 5 lety +15

      Endermage77
      No one:
      Absolutely No one:
      Not a single living soul:
      Neurologists: “let’s just get your brain into the right state”

    • @cara_melly
      @cara_melly Před 5 lety +8

      Round 2:
      16:16

    • @jcers
      @jcers Před 5 lety +16

      Idek anymore
      Nobody:
      Indian “tech support” workers:

    • @XGh0sT77
      @XGh0sT77 Před 5 lety +4

      Idek anymore
      Nobody:
      Me to my crush:

  • @evedaugherty
    @evedaugherty Před 5 lety +612

    Yes, as a matter of fact. My first name is *enduring silence*

  • @oceeeannstorm9850
    @oceeeannstorm9850 Před 4 lety +892

    Him: let me guess your a half glass... full...
    Me: wow your finally right.
    Him: of jelly beans
    Me: 👁👄👁

    • @boopsboops7692
      @boopsboops7692 Před 4 lety +3

      Is he wrong though?

    • @chinmustache6420
      @chinmustache6420 Před 3 lety

      I'd like to think I’m completely full. Half full of jellybeans, and half full of hot air

    • @F3yris
      @F3yris Před 3 lety

      👁️💋👁️

    • @dr_climate
      @dr_climate Před 2 lety

      Uh Oh Yro'ue

    • @mangoman1096
      @mangoman1096 Před 2 lety +1

      @@chinmustache6420 half filled of jelly beans
      Half filled with my vomit

  • @thomasnolastname8734
    @thomasnolastname8734 Před 4 lety +97

    "Are you allergic to the sound of yellow?"
    Me: No I'm allergic to The Sound Of Silence

  • @susgi2631
    @susgi2631 Před 5 lety +777

    ER: “you are doing pretty darn good”
    me: *having war flashbacks*

    • @user-gj7hg1qs1l
      @user-gj7hg1qs1l Před 5 lety +11

      *Fortunate son plays*

    • @brubbo0435
      @brubbo0435 Před 4 lety +5

      Holly shit its veitnom !

    • @barfer__
      @barfer__ Před 4 lety +4

      ender dude "vietnom"venom as a vietnam soldier or something?
      edit:veitnom noice

    • @brubbo0435
      @brubbo0435 Před 4 lety

      @@barfer__ it was from a mini ladd video just makeing a joke

    • @barfer__
      @barfer__ Před 4 lety

      ender dude oh u know mini ladd well ok

  • @bertsteinich
    @bertsteinich Před 5 lety +1719

    - Your favorite fruit is not a vegetable.
    - Oh, so close! My favorite fruit is actually an onion.

  • @felpswhy1653
    @felpswhy1653 Před 4 lety +88

    ER: Your favorite videogame is your favorite videogame
    Me: WITCHCRAFT!!!

  • @charley3994
    @charley3994 Před 4 lety +409

    E.r "Let me guess you've given up hope that"
    Me: "Half life 3. That's never gonna be a thing."
    E.r. "Half life 3 will ever come out."
    Me: pauses video to casually panic then resumes video.

    • @smallcheesebread6531
      @smallcheesebread6531 Před 4 lety +15

      Good news! You are wrong!

    • @georgekhidasheli4161
      @georgekhidasheli4161 Před 4 lety +12

      small cheese bread technically it’s not Half Life 3, and its a vr game unfortunately.

    • @smallcheesebread6531
      @smallcheesebread6531 Před 4 lety +10

      @@georgekhidasheli4161 yes "technically" it is. Valve stated it's the prequel to the saga, meaning 3.

    • @Mr.Scott86
      @Mr.Scott86 Před 4 lety

      @@smallcheesebread6531 not really, it's a prequel but it's not titled half life 3 so therefore...

    • @smallcheesebread6531
      @smallcheesebread6531 Před 4 lety

      @@Mr.Scott86 prequel means a third of something my man

  • @verena5613
    @verena5613 Před 5 lety +1738

    It bothers me slightly that this isn't called a Guesstionnaire

    • @kyleb5392
      @kyleb5392 Před 4 lety +10

      Gerald GERALDSON geez

    • @paulcarmi8130
      @paulcarmi8130 Před 4 lety +24

      Careful. Words like that are the reason "selfie" ended up in Webster

    • @perryerin
      @perryerin Před 4 lety +13

      I was gonna like this, but it's got 420 likes and I can't be the one to ruin that

    • @johanngaming2956
      @johanngaming2956 Před 3 lety +3

      I was your 666th like!

    • @smaxinade4022
      @smaxinade4022 Před 3 lety +2

      it bothers me that nobody asked

  • @benjaminduperreault4447
    @benjaminduperreault4447 Před 5 lety +816

    If you really want to fall asleep, take a shot every time he says "Let me guess"

    • @chickennugget8968
      @chickennugget8968 Před 5 lety +31

      I did more than fall asleep. This is his spirit talking.

    • @fi3ndzzzx748
      @fi3ndzzzx748 Před 5 lety +10

      Chicken Nugget so chicken nuggets have spirits 🤔

    • @chickennugget8968
      @chickennugget8968 Před 5 lety +14

      Fi3ndzzz x Oh yeah. Every time one of you hoomans eats us, a little spirit is freed from sits mortal shell.

    • @fi3ndzzzx748
      @fi3ndzzzx748 Před 5 lety +6

      Chicken Nugget never knew that nuggert man sorry :(

    • @ecksdee9260
      @ecksdee9260 Před 5 lety

      Sodj his is whayt is lyike to bee drounk

  • @andrewf7126
    @andrewf7126 Před 4 lety +92

    Ephemeral: "Your favorite video game is..... your favorite video game"
    Me: "YESS!! Damn your good!"

  • @norahg3416
    @norahg3416 Před 4 lety +366

    "you are doing pretty darn good"
    "no"
    "am i right?"
    "no"
    "i guessed right?"
    "i said no."

    • @cuboider-rclv2585
      @cuboider-rclv2585 Před 4 lety +20

      "See?, I told you, professional guesser."

    • @felinediscipline
      @felinediscipline Před 4 lety +10

      I just shrugged and went "I don't know"
      I'm the embodiment of Indecisiveness

    • @Ast3r_0id
      @Ast3r_0id Před 4 lety +3

      Literally what I said lol

    • @bisexualbitch7335
      @bisexualbitch7335 Před 4 lety +3

      Me, having posted a photo of me crying to instagram only a few hours ago to let ppl know im not okay while also definetly not wanting to communicate: i guess im doing...good

    • @austinmaxwell5069
      @austinmaxwell5069 Před 3 lety +1

      Sounds like what people would do with Dora
      Are you happy?
      (Me internally dying) no I want death
      I'm glad to hear your happy
      😑

  • @ratboy2791
    @ratboy2791 Před 5 lety +751

    I love how professionally he says "smencil"

  • @randomguy7726
    @randomguy7726 Před 5 lety +812

    The whole video is like this
    1."Let me guess"
    2.he guesses something
    3."okay"
    4.writes on the board

  • @d4v32
    @d4v32 Před 4 lety +36

    "Let me guess, you like your Hamburger with Tomato but without pickles or onions"
    If he did a lil switcheridoo he might have gotten me there

  • @Kn1feShift
    @Kn1feShift Před 4 lety +105

    "you are doing pretty darn good, am i right?"
    me, with an awful sleep schedule and depression: *no*

    • @mangoman1096
      @mangoman1096 Před 2 lety +2

      How you doing now? Hope it’s good.

    • @IvyLovesDrxy
      @IvyLovesDrxy Před 2 lety +1

      @@mangoman1096 did he just go offline for this whole time?

    • @mangoman1096
      @mangoman1096 Před 2 lety +2

      @@IvyLovesDrxy i don’t believe so.

    • @itscc2004
      @itscc2004 Před rokem +2

      Hey dude…it’s been a while, are you doing better?

    • @mill4711
      @mill4711 Před rokem +1

      I hope you're doing well now

  • @GayCheesetuber
    @GayCheesetuber Před 5 lety +358

    I've got an idea, ER should make a google form with all the questions so we can actually answer. I think it would be really cool to see everyone's responses.

    • @InFiNiGhTe
      @InFiNiGhTe Před 5 lety +1

      I'd prefer outside of Google... Anonymity.. Or what's left of it.

    • @takumeme545
      @takumeme545 Před 4 lety +15

      @@InFiNiGhTe google forms can be anonymous as long as the creator of the form makes it so. And i mean...wtf is google gonna do with this random ass info

    • @MikeHeemskerk
      @MikeHeemskerk Před 4 lety +1

      Takumeme more than u probably think

    • @pacooftaco
      @pacooftaco Před 4 lety

      Great idea

  • @massineben7198
    @massineben7198 Před 5 lety +402

    0:29 ER:you are doing pretty darn good
    Me: Yeah... I guess I am doing fine?
    Narrator: But he wasn't even doing fine.

  • @brunbrunnn4318
    @brunbrunnn4318 Před 4 lety +28

    *gets through high school*
    life: 3:38

  • @prytz5911
    @prytz5911 Před 2 lety +21

    "you are doing pretty darn good, am i right?"
    after losing my pet turtle: hell yeah better than ever bro

  • @welshie3659
    @welshie3659 Před 5 lety +3040

    ER: Let me guess...
    Are You Allergic to...
    Me: Nuts... He's gonna say nuts....
    ER:......
    Me: NUTS!
    ER: ThE SoUnD oF YeLlOw...
    Me: ......?
    (15:45)

  • @dominiktancos7245
    @dominiktancos7245 Před 5 lety +585

    11:33 are u here because
    Me:trying to sleep
    Rift: ur running from the Feds
    Me: that works to

  • @roninswicked
    @roninswicked Před 4 lety +208

    Rift: How are you doing?-
    Me: Terribly
    Rift: Ah I know-
    Me: Rift no you don't
    Rift: You are doing-
    Me: Rift you're gonna be wrong
    Rift: Pretty darn good
    Me: Rift my family was murdered by the Zodiac Killer and my dog got tetanus from sniffing a rusty screw and my fucking leg hair is tangled and you now speak for me my individuality was stolen from me by you how could you betray me, then you started tapping on your clipboard Rift please your schizophrenia is getting bad you need to take your medication you stepped on your gold fish while it was in the tank and thought it was a pine cone in a forest please Rift just take your medication

  •  Před 4 lety +37

    ER : lemme guess...when you close your eyes ... you can see...
    Me : he's not gonna guess
    ER : N O T H I N G
    Me : holy crap this man is a wizard

  • @aaronbobby1682
    @aaronbobby1682 Před 5 lety +263

    Wrong:23
    Right:34
    Yes I counted and it was hard to stay awake

  • @vraj-fj9oj
    @vraj-fj9oj Před 5 lety +508

    Rift should have been a part of the avengers.. He would have guessed Dr Strange's 1 in 14 million outcome.. 😎

  • @ya_boi_issac2153
    @ya_boi_issac2153 Před 4 lety +62

    Er: you are here because your running from the feds
    Me: takes 30 percs

  • @galacticgeek7188
    @galacticgeek7188 Před 3 lety +6

    13:30
    Did not expect that XD I burst out laughing at 2am

  • @luke11306
    @luke11306 Před 5 lety +244

    13:30 had me dyin with his straight face...

    • @fleuriash
      @fleuriash Před 4 lety +2

      Overprotective Dad 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

    • @barnabusowl4252
      @barnabusowl4252 Před 4 lety +10

      Can’t believe nobody else commented about this

    • @emmajayde1334
      @emmajayde1334 Před 4 lety

      daddd stop following me around!

    • @jordyn7470
      @jordyn7470 Před 4 lety

      Overprotective Dad I was temped to yell yes when he said that

    • @alextheturkey5695
      @alextheturkey5695 Před 4 lety

      @@emmajayde1334 ......what

  • @samuelmunoz6822
    @samuelmunoz6822 Před 5 lety +322

    Rift's Son:Dad,why do you want to take my pencils???
    Rift:.........For Job

    • @DragonFang409
      @DragonFang409 Před 5 lety +1

      TheSparkyWriter It makes it very professional

    • @domino5715
      @domino5715 Před 5 lety

      This is translated i assume

    • @PredatorH2O
      @PredatorH2O Před 5 lety +5

      Rift's son: Dad ,why do you want to take my pencils?
      Rift:Well..
      Son: * cuts him off* Actually, let me guess......

    • @finn5286
      @finn5286 Před 4 lety +1

      Son: dad i hear you whispering to yourself at night are you okay.
      Rift:...*in the corner sniffing root beer smencil*... Im doing darn good
      Son:is that my smencil?

  • @keinemachtdenschwaenzen
    @keinemachtdenschwaenzen Před 4 lety +17

    ER: there are cookie crumbs in your bed
    me, having freshly cleaned my bed and changed the bedsheets: excuse me WHAT

  • @TheOdyssei
    @TheOdyssei Před 4 lety +156

    Rift: Let me guess, you have four...
    Me: ...
    Rift: No... 2, nostrils.... In your nose.
    Me: ..Yes, that is correct!
    Me Later:
    *_Wait-_*

  • @user-yd3vg9pr9c
    @user-yd3vg9pr9c Před 5 lety +429

    20:39 Let me guess: "When you close your eyes, you can see ...
    ...nothing."
    Me: loool right

    • @nothingatall7943
      @nothingatall7943 Před 5 lety +7

      HAHA IM BLIND SO I WIN HAHAHhahah....... *cries*

    • @westa8427
      @westa8427 Před 5 lety +6

      Well, but nothing is also a thing, because you can define it, so it actually exists, but only in your mind as abstraction and it still haven't been found in reality. When you close your eyes you see a black screen, but that black screen is actually a thing. Change my mind.

    • @sylvieshuu
      @sylvieshuu Před 5 lety +2

      Well I mean technically when you close your eyes you just see the back of your eyelids- _random crap nobody asked for okay I'll leave now_

    • @westa8427
      @westa8427 Před 5 lety +1

      @@sylvieshuu True. I'm a beginner in English so didn't knew how to say.
      Btw, how's life goin?

    • @sylvieshuu
      @sylvieshuu Před 5 lety

      @@westa8427 Good good, how about you?

  • @BeardedWhispererASMR
    @BeardedWhispererASMR Před 5 lety +453

    The first one “you are doing pretty darn good?”
    Well yeah, I’m watching the rift right now! 🔥🔥😊

    • @Punkanova
      @Punkanova Před 5 lety +4

      Bearded Whisperer ASMR honestly it made me think about all the things I’m grateful for and why I should be feeling pretty darn good. 👌🏻

    • @manmanley988
      @manmanley988 Před 4 lety

      420 likes lmao

  • @inter_stellar9830
    @inter_stellar9830 Před 4 lety +45

    "Is your favourite dinosaour............
    Extinct?"

  • @cashwhitford4687
    @cashwhitford4687 Před 4 lety +105

    I see a lot of comments
    None about how he is a lefty

    • @LS6272
      @LS6272 Před 4 lety +4

      Because it’s just not very interesting lol

    • @funkdungus839
      @funkdungus839 Před 4 lety +7

      @@andrastoth82 nah. wedding ring on his left hand, shirt buttoned left over right. unless hes wearing a ring on his other hand and a womens shirt

    • @isthisthefirsttime
      @isthisthefirsttime Před 3 lety

      @@funkdungus839 genius 🤓

  • @mdkaff
    @mdkaff Před 5 lety +96

    ah i'm so rela-- wait did he just say "sound of yellow"?

  • @testedhawk
    @testedhawk Před 5 lety +2205

    Let me guess, someone stole your Sweetroll

    • @Sponker222
      @Sponker222 Před 5 lety +46

      no lollygagging

    • @LittleShayman
      @LittleShayman Před 5 lety +61

      Stop that... shouting, it's making people nervous

    • @victorautor2942
      @victorautor2942 Před 5 lety +50

      Ah, good old meme.
      Radom fact: "I got arrow to the knee" means "I've got married"

    • @ArwenLeigh
      @ArwenLeigh Před 5 lety +22

      Keep your hands to yourself sneak theif

    • @kalatalokuu
      @kalatalokuu Před 5 lety +10

      Old but gold

  • @janiegroves-hambidge1392
    @janiegroves-hambidge1392 Před 4 lety +12

    ER:"you're favourite flavour of ice cream is...rocky road"
    Me: *well then*

  • @lakiadler
    @lakiadler Před 4 lety +3

    ER: You're the kind of person that thinks the glass is half full
    Me: correc-
    ER: of jelly beans
    Me: they got us in the first part not gonna lie

  • @normanreviewsgames698
    @normanreviewsgames698 Před 5 lety +840

    "I got my degree in guessing." Sociology then?

  • @legalkarma
    @legalkarma Před 5 lety +569

    Mom: what degree are you gonna get?
    Me:
    *My guessing degree*

  • @unknownyoutuber8176
    @unknownyoutuber8176 Před 4 lety +7

    13:30. Thank me by liking this so more people can enjoy it.

  • @ianalderson5133
    @ianalderson5133 Před 4 lety +15

    Rift: "jellybeanss????"
    Me: slow nod and smile yes 🤣🤣 🤣

  • @T_Boyd2122
    @T_Boyd2122 Před 5 lety +192

    “Are you here because you are running from the feds”
    Again I plead the fifth

  • @Adam-we9ww
    @Adam-we9ww Před 5 lety +57

    *FBI in the corner of the room*
    You got the information yet?

  • @Gustavoenderdragon
    @Gustavoenderdragon Před 4 lety +13

    ER: Let me guess, your home?
    Me: And it was beautiful...

  • @JonatanMA
    @JonatanMA Před 4 lety +5

    hos tf am i gon sleep if u keep making me laugh. this man out here like aRE yOU alERgIc tO tHe SoUND oF YeLlOw?

  • @HaydenAlbarado
    @HaydenAlbarado Před 5 lety +392

    Rift- “Is your favorite swear word mother f**ker”
    Me- “It - it actually is, well mother f**ker”

    • @unwono
      @unwono Před 5 lety +49

      @Megan Rose tw-ee-t or c-rossai-nt?

    • @trintle4219
      @trintle4219 Před 5 lety +13

      This is the internet, why the fuck are you censoring "fuck"?

    • @Romeo_da_Black_Rose_59
      @Romeo_da_Black_Rose_59 Před 5 lety

      Fudge nuggets and crispy chicken how did he know

    • @irodsalt6490
      @irodsalt6490 Před 5 lety

      @@trintle4219 I know right now we got wtf. What are you saying Wednesday Thursday Friday or what the fuck

    • @jiji7017
      @jiji7017 Před 5 lety +1

      Me being French it's put🅰️in

  • @eve9268
    @eve9268 Před 5 lety +132

    him: "are you allergic to the sound yellow?"
    me: *disgusted with the brightness of the color* "y Es"

    • @JSoucy21
      @JSoucy21 Před 4 lety +1

      I read the "me:" sections vocal response in the tone Dane Cook uses to impersonate a speak n' spell.

    • @dingleberry8978
      @dingleberry8978 Před 4 lety +2

      You tried way to hard on this comment

    • @halleys.comett
      @halleys.comett Před 4 lety

      Oohhh so edgyyy

    • @PeppermintSpikes
      @PeppermintSpikes Před 3 lety

      Me, who is also sometimes disgusted by yellow, orange and red: :o

    • @jacobsmith7292
      @jacobsmith7292 Před 3 lety

      The visuality of the color is not relevant he was asking about the sound

  • @xh0us3en3rgy
    @xh0us3en3rgy Před 4 lety +60

    He: let me guess your sixth Telefone number, thats hard there are Millions of numbers"
    Bro there are 10 numbers 0-9

  • @Haxxer82
    @Haxxer82 Před 4 lety +28

    "...just to get your mind in that relaxed state."
    [door creaks open]
    *RED ALERT! RED ALERT!*

    • @boopsboops7692
      @boopsboops7692 Před 4 lety +1

      He needs you in a relaxed state...
      *so you don’t suspect a thing*

  • @Wassup-ie4xz
    @Wassup-ie4xz Před 5 lety +146

    I don't know why but I really love this kind of asmr videos

  • @RylaDarkstar
    @RylaDarkstar Před 5 lety +97

    that pencil in the case sound, is literally amazing.

    • @raccban
      @raccban Před 4 lety +6

      Excuse me? It's *smencil*

  • @kernelsanders7526
    @kernelsanders7526 Před 4 lety +13

    Imagine how that one guy feels when finds out his identity was stolen for an amsr video

  • @bladebeast4182
    @bladebeast4182 Před 2 lety +3

    This guys got me on the relax, sleeping, being chill.

  • @vanner1198
    @vanner1198 Před 5 lety +56

    i never thought an amsr video would make me laught but those first 3 questions made me chuckle

  • @jmelara324
    @jmelara324 Před 5 lety +184

    ER: You are doingggg?.....
    me: Gosh I’m beat, I’m depressed, everything is just s-
    ER: I know! Pretty darn good!
    me: Dude.... okay.

  • @molollyvlogs1186
    @molollyvlogs1186 Před 2 lety +1

    I kept almost falling asleep then laughing so hard I completely woke up 😂 absolutely brilliant

  • @redraiderb3136
    @redraiderb3136 Před 4 lety +6

    I don't even really like asmr but I could listen to this guy forever😂

  • @andiemac0
    @andiemac0 Před 5 lety +765

    Wait a minute! You're writing down all this personal info like government id, and birth dates. Are you actually a very very patient identity theif?

    • @Fortniteyeeayuh
      @Fortniteyeeayuh Před 5 lety +22

      He can be he has a large audience so he's taking down hundreds of thousands at a time

    • @cara_melly
      @cara_melly Před 5 lety +33

      Yes, he is. Do you not see all the different lives he lives in the Rift world... they are all the identities he stole. Including Cthulhu

    • @digiorniboy
      @digiorniboy Před 5 lety +9

      Idek anymore
      “Finally, I’m awake again! I can’t wait to see how society has evolved in my abscen-
      Frick, there goes my identity.”

    • @human6310
      @human6310 Před 5 lety +2

      These comments would mak perefect sans ef thye wer'ent liek this comment.

    • @Extratyggis
      @Extratyggis Před 5 lety +4

      Dude i have littearly gotten into my friends email by trying to know as much as possible about em and guessing their password from that.
      Badabing badabom and you got yourself a felony

  • @konbust
    @konbust Před 5 lety +142

    ER: Let me guess. Your favorite Video Game is...
    Me: He might say a game i don't play.
    ER: Your favorite Video Game is your favorite Video Game
    Me: Seems Good Enough.

  • @somerandomdude1521
    @somerandomdude1521 Před 2 lety +3

    I'mma be honest I fell asleep when he shook the first pencil.

  • @user-ci3zv9oh9h
    @user-ci3zv9oh9h Před 4 lety

    I really like your sense of humor. You come up with such clever stuff.

  • @Kjca_1998
    @Kjca_1998 Před 5 lety +647

    *Whispering*
    “I’m guessing you have a huge Dong”
    “HA WRONG AGAIN SIR”

  • @vlax720
    @vlax720 Před 5 lety +27

    ER: "you are doing pretty darn good"
    Me currently on fire: "eh I can't complain"

  • @_goblinspit_
    @_goblinspit_ Před 4 lety +1

    This guys videos are so good- relaxing AND hilarious-

  • @MillCityQ
    @MillCityQ Před 3 lety +4

    I derived a bizarre satisfaction from when he guessed wrong... as if there was actually a strong possibility he was gonna guess anything right

  • @sonnyasmr7143
    @sonnyasmr7143 Před 5 lety +143

    Wrong from the start rift. I’m not doing that well, I’m living in the 9 circles of hell to be perfectly honest.

    • @julialopez4872
      @julialopez4872 Před 5 lety +2

      Well, me too \o/

    • @bobik_xD
      @bobik_xD Před 5 lety +4

      Are you trying to say you have a problem with weight?

    • @ChuckNorrizHIM
      @ChuckNorrizHIM Před 5 lety

      By golly you go deep enough you'll find them here already in a very niche existence

    • @YourCitizen
      @YourCitizen Před 5 lety +2

      First time?

    • @thomasnolastname8734
      @thomasnolastname8734 Před 4 lety +1

      If you ever have a chance, come see me; I'll be on the giant throne in the ninth circle 🙂

  • @unknown_user-br2lb
    @unknown_user-br2lb Před 4 lety +74

    ER: “you are doing pretty darn good” “am i right?”
    Me a person struggling with depression: *in tears* Yes, how did you know?! I’m really good, i’m fine!
    Edit: peeps,
    1. yes i am struggling with depression on a daily basis, so no it isn’t a joke (i wish).
    2. I don’t need help lol it’s all good
    3. This was a fucking year ago
    And last, i don’t know why i wrote this. It’s fucking cringe. Goodbye.

  • @dremdram5496
    @dremdram5496 Před 3 lety +7

    me and brother fighting -
    mum downstairs - shut up
    me to my brother after he kicks me -13:35

  • @-xterminator2-280
    @-xterminator2-280 Před 5 lety +2992

    let me guess: you are watching this video.

  • @-Khronos-
    @-Khronos- Před 5 lety +245

    Yea man, I'm doing good. Watching this and watching James Charles sub count drop. It's great.

    • @-Khronos-
      @-Khronos- Před 5 lety +6

      @@GreenGlo1991 It's something I could fall asleep to.

    • @redacted4373
      @redacted4373 Před 5 lety +4

      Its so relaxing isn't it, waiting to see who can reach 10 million first!

    • @user-yn1gd7wn3w
      @user-yn1gd7wn3w Před 5 lety +2

      I want to ask where the profile pic is from but then again I don't...

    • @-Khronos-
      @-Khronos- Před 5 lety +2

      @@user-yn1gd7wn3w I mean I could give it to ya, but I don't know if you'd like it mate

    • @Sage-xr1on
      @Sage-xr1on Před 5 lety +1

      Can I get sauce on that profile pic. For research purposes of course

  • @Galaxystarss527
    @Galaxystarss527 Před 4 lety +9

    13:30 that's so unexpected 😂

  • @sodddit8360
    @sodddit8360 Před 4 lety +28

    *To everyone confused at his strange questions, he did say 'guessing random things about you'*

  • @maxxam012
    @maxxam012 Před 5 lety +42

    “You have given up hope for a Half Life part 3.”
    Whoa, he’s in my head!

  • @godwinbalansag3384
    @godwinbalansag3384 Před 5 lety +2261

    ER:Let me guess, your home?
    Me:It was, and it was beautiful
    Edit: To those bitching that I should've used "you're" instead of "your". I am just sticking to the original srcipt, all right?

    • @ludovicocontri1539
      @ludovicocontri1539 Před 5 lety +124

      They will call you a madman

    • @Bananazu2411
      @Bananazu2411 Před 5 lety +82

      At least it was before I f*ucked everything up.

    • @cornmoss638
      @cornmoss638 Před 5 lety +4

      Lol

    • @aunbomb
      @aunbomb Před 5 lety +44

      @@Bananazu2411 thanos in endgame : aw shit, here we go again

    • @henrybadger785
      @henrybadger785 Před 5 lety +16

      Godwin Balansag *Titan was like most planets...*

  • @kristinesmart24
    @kristinesmart24 Před 4 lety

    Sense of humor & ASMR are 2 of the grandest things in life!

  • @shaylabrubaker7399
    @shaylabrubaker7399 Před 4 lety +4

    I was drinking root beer during this and when you picked the root beer one it sent my tingles mad, so cool!

  • @jankmcdonald4340
    @jankmcdonald4340 Před 5 lety +168

    Rift looking snazzy with that beard and man bun