"YOU AREN'T MY TYPICAL" TYPE REACTION + OPINION FT. THE SKIN DEEP

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  • čas přidán 6. 09. 2024
  • Hey boos!
    In today's video I react to "The Skin Deep" youtube channel a video titled " You Aren't My Typical Type".
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Komentáře • 639

  • @RealTalkWithYanie
    @RealTalkWithYanie  Před 3 lety +47

    The Trama Bond Original Video: czcams.com/video/Fy_YiZ5DjXs/video.html
    Pysch2go Channel: czcams.com/users/Psych2go
    I recommend if you can not afford therapy. ❤️

    • @aquata3367
      @aquata3367 Před 3 lety +1

      Hiiii Yanie! ❤️💛

    • @RealTalkWithYanie
      @RealTalkWithYanie  Před 3 lety +2

      @@aquata3367 hey boo 🥰

    • @LattesandLuxury
      @LattesandLuxury Před 3 lety

      This was my last marriage until I learned to love myself and trust God

    • @aquata3367
      @aquata3367 Před 2 lety

      @@RealTalkWithYanie I admire you so much Yani; you are one of the few women I can say that inspires me so much and guides young women in the right direction! Keep up the good work🙏🏽💖🦋

  • @sharicebryant8149
    @sharicebryant8149 Před 3 lety +1110

    All of the things he “loves” about her is what she does for him. Lordt, that’s not romantic at all lol. A lot of relationships nowadays is based off what the woman does for a man,never about who she is as a person. SMH.

    • @zerotoanime3953
      @zerotoanime3953 Před 3 lety +8

      Thats usually the reverse.

    • @sharicebryant8149
      @sharicebryant8149 Před 3 lety +66

      @@zerotoanime3953 maybe for you. Many married friends and associates of mine always list the things their wives do for them when asked why they fell in love.

    • @daintyann1795
      @daintyann1795 Před 3 lety +34

      She’s a masculine woman, always taking care of a man doing the most for him

    • @__kikiadore
      @__kikiadore Před 3 lety +35

      @@daintyann1795 I knew it when she said “you’re mine”. She really believes he’s the best she can do

    • @InspiredUno
      @InspiredUno Před 3 lety +45

      And that’s a sign that that’s not who he wants-she’s the placeholder or starter wife. But, if a woman is willing to play that role, many men will let her. Until they get to where they can be leveled up to the type of woman they actually want.

  • @Thula_Impala96
    @Thula_Impala96 Před 3 lety +1018

    When a woman builds her self esteem, that dusty ‘ride or die’ rhetoric legit sounds like crazy talk

  • @jazzy4982
    @jazzy4982 Před 3 lety +1648

    When someone tells you your an exception what their really saying is, if they had the chance to be with who they really wanted, they would do so and leave you in the dust. Women should never fall into that trap. It’s just a complete waste of your time.

    • @giavonnefoster6559
      @giavonnefoster6559 Před 3 lety +161

      My baby father told me that I’m the only dark skinned woman he’d date when we were together years ago and I now am understanding how offensive that was ..

    • @Seoulsister5
      @Seoulsister5 Před 3 lety +133

      Go where you're loved and appreciated, not tolerated out of convenience. There's a difference, and I'm glad that more and more black women are waking up to it.

    • @taylorstep1413
      @taylorstep1413 Před 3 lety +44

      2nd place basically.

    • @toriyt2714
      @toriyt2714 Před 3 lety +74

      What I hear when someone says you’re the exception is...you not my type but you a do girl. Meaning she do whatever for him and that’s why they made the exception for them

    • @BlackGirlLovesAnime6
      @BlackGirlLovesAnime6 Před 3 lety +67

      It makes women feel like they're so special that the man chose them over their norm but the reality is what you stated

  • @prettyqueen573
    @prettyqueen573 Před 3 lety +759

    It is a RED FLAG when you ask someone why they love and their main reasons for loving you entails what you do FOR THEM, instead of who you are as a person.

    • @deej5608
      @deej5608 Před 3 lety +8

      FACTS

    • @soulovelee_2433
      @soulovelee_2433 Před 3 lety +1

      lol, if you follow SheraSeven1 that is always her reply to people who ask her, wether it not she actually loves her husband "wouldn’t you love someone who does xyz for you?” 😏

    • @kaydubya6347
      @kaydubya6347 Před 3 lety +7

      Yeah.. For a woman..
      Unpopular fav: Men are SUPPOSED to be loved and respected for what they do and what that provide for others. That is never a WOMAN'S job. And this is why men never respect a woman that does the most for him. And additionally, if you even have to do a lot, they generally don't like you. The harder you're working, usually ,it's out of trying to prove your worth or gain his approval / loyalty

    • @lanis57
      @lanis57 Před 3 lety +1

      @@kaydubya6347 than why do men love a woman?

    • @mrecorder1
      @mrecorder1 Před rokem +1

      amen

  • @Cocoarunway
    @Cocoarunway Před 3 lety +640

    Sad thing is most Black relationships are bonded by trauma.

    • @TrueMystique
      @TrueMystique Před 3 lety +62

      No lies detected.

    • @lexielovingu206
      @lexielovingu206 Před 3 lety +53

      Meditation,therapy, and prayer is needed in the black community.

    • @skindippedingold
      @skindippedingold Před 3 lety +24

      Facts!!! And we are usually oblivious to it.

    • @kaebaegotsnax1907
      @kaebaegotsnax1907 Před 3 lety +6

      Say it again 🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @jasminehill6312
      @jasminehill6312 Před 3 lety +21

      @@lexielovingu206I agree! The only thing that gets me is that Black people stay praying and going to church but still allow relationships like this as the norm 🤔

  • @davichigbue1835
    @davichigbue1835 Před 3 lety +498

    His "why I love you" speech made me feel like I was watching "The Help". "You is kiiiind, you is smarrrrt, an you is important."

  • @jazzy4982
    @jazzy4982 Před 3 lety +1087

    Telling someone their an “exception” is one of the most backhanded compliments you could give.

    • @rhiannn8664
      @rhiannn8664 Před 3 lety +77

      Yes! It is very passive aggressive as well

    • @yolandamarka1719
      @yolandamarka1719 Před 3 lety +10

      Exactly

    • @taylorstep1413
      @taylorstep1413 Před 3 lety +91

      "I settled for you" vibes

    • @Seoulsister5
      @Seoulsister5 Před 3 lety +68

      That's no different from non-black people saying, "You're pretty for a black girl." Aka, "I hate most of you, but you're not like the others."

    • @mxxx9561
      @mxxx9561 Před 3 lety +2

      @@SuperSouthchick happened to me years ago too it still doesn’t sit right with me

  • @HeartBr8kRach
    @HeartBr8kRach Před 3 lety +531

    He’s dead behind the eyes. I can tell within the first 10 seconds that he’s looking for a Mom instead of a GF. He also seems like he’s under the influence. Girl, you are too young and vibrant....say NO to struggle love !😫

    • @paymelove9762
      @paymelove9762 Před 3 lety +32

      Right ! He dusty 101

    • @kaebaegotsnax1907
      @kaebaegotsnax1907 Před 3 lety +46

      I was wondering if anyone else noticed and was willing to mention this 😂

    • @tishreni5183
      @tishreni5183 Před 3 lety +7

      @@kaebaegotsnax1907 Someone on that site mentioned he must be taking muscle relaxers..lol.

    • @Crystal_D
      @Crystal_D Před 3 lety +10

      I was going to say this exact same thing! Dead behind the eyes.

    • @treysosick5744
      @treysosick5744 Před 3 lety +3

      You definitely have a point

  • @arielleb.3535
    @arielleb.3535 Před 3 lety +1019

    she is absolutely gorgeous, the outfit the hair the skin, everything is stunning and he.....well, let’s just say he’s not the exception😅

    • @RUNWAYBEAUTY
      @RUNWAYBEAUTY Před 3 lety +54

      Yes she is everything. I wish she saw what we see.

    • @tataliciousdelicious9840
      @tataliciousdelicious9840 Před 3 lety +73

      He’s average at best...

    • @newnimprovesT3
      @newnimprovesT3 Před 3 lety +10

      The compliments under the comments of the original are rampant!!

    • @user-ky7ee1bw3b
      @user-ky7ee1bw3b Před 3 lety +8

      @@RUNWAYBEAUTY I hope she’s going to watch this video 🙏🏿💗

    • @rickiesmith413
      @rickiesmith413 Před 3 lety +5

      @@tataliciousdelicious9840 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽you better speak.

  • @qtslim83
    @qtslim83 Před 3 lety +316

    Attempting to “fix” a broken man will BREAK YOU! I learned that lesson the hard way...never again.

    • @carolynwhite9975
      @carolynwhite9975 Před 2 lety +3

      @lacedwithculture....Me too, I learned the hard way trying to fix a broken man...and yes it broke me and I am healing.

  • @TheSomethingnew1
    @TheSomethingnew1 Před 3 lety +1009

    She's a placeholder. A clean up woman. Men will tolerate anyone that does for them.

    • @katlennat1680
      @katlennat1680 Před 3 lety +121

      You know when you’re hungry so you have a little snack to hold you over until your next meal.

    • @Seoulsister5
      @Seoulsister5 Před 3 lety +111

      I once read a comment that said men are only as loyal as their options. This video proves that to a T.

    • @toriyt2714
      @toriyt2714 Před 3 lety +5

      Hello

    • @TheSomethingnew1
      @TheSomethingnew1 Před 3 lety +26

      @@katlennat1680 that just hurt my feelings but it's the truth 😂

    • @newnimprovesT3
      @newnimprovesT3 Před 3 lety +13

      Didn’t she say...he’s not her type tho? And than she listed the reasons

  • @briannalaurent3918
    @briannalaurent3918 Před 3 lety +624

    A lot of people are saying she has “jealousy” over his kids. I don’t think of it as jealousy. I believe in your 20s you have that desire to feel a lil selfish with everything you want in life & simply, she isn’t ready to play that step motherly role. As a woman who is also in her 20’s, I am not ready for kids. I want my man and I to be able to have that quality time without distractions. Yes kids are a blessing, but everyone’s blessing comes at their own time. She’s simply not ready for it.

    • @Seoulsister5
      @Seoulsister5 Před 3 lety +127

      "Kids are a blessing, but everyone's blessing comes at their own time."
      More people need to hear this!! 👏👏👏👏

    • @toriyt2714
      @toriyt2714 Před 3 lety +65

      Nah he prob uses the kids as a tool to keep a little wedge or distance in the relationship. He places them over her so she is not number one or main priority. It keeps her in a holding pattern. She be a do girl to prove and work for the number 1 spot. Basically kids are an excuse.

    • @WacoBeautyQueen
      @WacoBeautyQueen Před 3 lety +67

      Say it again! That’s why we don’t need to be dating no men with kids smh. Women in our 20s, we want attention, we should be wined and dined. Not chancing motherhood in any way shape or form.

    • @AnimeBoysOnly
      @AnimeBoysOnly Před 3 lety +38

      I agree. I'm very selfish but have the right to be. I'm young and don't have kids and so I want a man who also doesn't have kids so we can build our family together

    • @Seoulsister5
      @Seoulsister5 Před 3 lety +43

      @@WacoBeautyQueen This!! Your 20's is supposed to be the period of finding your place in the world, but how are you going to find yourself when you've got other people to take care of?

  • @mstar8691
    @mstar8691 Před 3 lety +247

    You can literally tell in his face, he wasn’t feeling her like that. She was just willing to be with him when the women he wanted wasn’t at the time. Typical come up women, place holder vibes.

    • @DynamicallyDC
      @DynamicallyDC Před 3 lety +29

      Exactly, he doesn't appear to be genuinely interested in her to me either. I don't see any enthusiasm in the way he interacts or looks at her.

    • @emjohnson7207
      @emjohnson7207 Před 3 lety +4

      Please don't let this child offer to babysit.

  • @JadeScorpion31
    @JadeScorpion31 Před 3 lety +704

    I saw this vid the other day and I was like “No ma’am!” She up there fixing that man and he had the nerve to say she wasn’t his typical type. He saw a sucker and she got licked dealing with him. She doesn’t seem to see her worth and he knows it. This happens to sooo many women.

    • @Seoulsister5
      @Seoulsister5 Před 3 lety +78

      Exactly. He saw that she had low self-esteem and preyed on it. It's unbelievably disheartening to see what some black women are willing to put up with in the name of "black love."

    • @prettyqueen573
      @prettyqueen573 Před 3 lety +6

      @@Seoulsister5 this!

    • @blkindians7974
      @blkindians7974 Před 3 lety +6

      (Your not my typical type).... she didnt say he said dat to her, she said most people say dat about her..

    • @teighlorb.7503
      @teighlorb.7503 Před 3 lety +45

      she said he wasn't HER typical type lol what video did y'all watch?

    • @ZawadiBirya
      @ZawadiBirya Před 3 lety +15

      @@teighlorb.7503 Exactly. I was starting to question my memory. Lol

  • @lshardy1up
    @lshardy1up Před 3 lety +209

    He doesn't want to "jinx" his own engagement by being honest about his intentions??? Translation: Don't get your hopes up even though I've already wasted 9 months of your life, I'm gonna dangle marriage and pretend I'm scared of your rejection so you try harder to prove your loyalty until I find my next victim.

  • @taylorstep1413
    @taylorstep1413 Před 3 lety +610

    She's fixing him up so another woman can reap the benefits. You can see it an mile away, I hope she's watching this video and moves accordingly.

    • @Seoulsister5
      @Seoulsister5 Před 3 lety +49

      Black men in a nutshell. And 9 times out of 10, the women are usually light, bright, or white.

    • @lol.3460
      @lol.3460 Před 3 lety +52

      @@Seoulsister5 us lightskins get trapped into fixing up broken dusties. They’re everywhere. They go after everyone

    • @Seoulsister5
      @Seoulsister5 Před 3 lety +17

      @@lol.3460 Well, I'm talking about dark-skinned women right now. He said that she wasn't the type of woman he typically dates, which means he typically dates women like you. Why 👏🏽is👏🏽it👏🏽so👏🏽hard👏🏽for👏🏽you👏🏽to👏🏽understand👏🏽that👏🏽?!

    • @lol.3460
      @lol.3460 Před 3 lety +18

      @Lydia Anderson Exactly. I’m not tryna take away from anything I’m literally saying they’re not alone going through this bs !! We need to band together and start beating these niggas lmao I’m always gone root for the next as long as they root for me

    • @__kikiadore
      @__kikiadore Před 3 lety +17

      It’s really gonna hurt by the time she wakes up, if she ever does. I’ve seen women give over 20 years and more and end up getting tossed out like yesterday’s trash

  • @k0k01
    @k0k01 Před 3 lety +277

    Another red flag was when he said “engagement” vs “marriage”. I feel like that was code for a “I’m gonna make you wait at least five years and then your gonna have to give me an ultimatum...” And when she ask why do you love me it was all about what she had done for him vs how he feels.

    • @arp5546
      @arp5546 Před 3 lety +12

      👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

    • @Seoulsister5
      @Seoulsister5 Před 3 lety +40

      He's using the hell outta her, and she doesn't even realize it.

    • @__kikiadore
      @__kikiadore Před 3 lety +45

      Her eyes lit up when he said it. She doesn’t realize she’s being finessed. He’s future faking with her and she took the bait

    • @TheOne-gu9lz
      @TheOne-gu9lz Před 3 lety +4

      This

    • @leondrajohn5841
      @leondrajohn5841 Před 3 lety +12

      How about...."she is going to allow him to waste her life for 5 years then give him a choice"....people like that do not have any self worth and they need to work on themselves first before seeking male attention

  • @Seoulsister5
    @Seoulsister5 Před 3 lety +131

    When will black women realize that's it's not up to them to "fix" anyone? Trauma bonding and struggle love is an agenda that's virtually exclusive to the black community, and is pushed heavily on black women to stay loyal to a group of men who don't collectively reciprocate. It's as clear as day she's being milked and preyed upon because of her low self-esteem, and I'm afraid she's going to learn it the hard way when he drops her for a woman he really wants to enjoy the fruits of her labor. 😢

    • @blisslifestylewithnaomie4169
      @blisslifestylewithnaomie4169 Před 3 lety +11

      I love the word you used RECIPROCATE, it a two way thing, if I bring in my 💯 I expect the same 👍🏾

  • @Isaidwhatisaiddear
    @Isaidwhatisaiddear Před 3 lety +32

    If you struggle with low self esteem, please just stay single until you build up your confidence and self worth.

  • @princessdyn
    @princessdyn Před 3 lety +219

    "Trauma", multiple kids, 10ish years age gap... Yet HE FELT COMFORTABLE TO say "she's not his type". GIRL, BE GLAD YOU'RE NOT THIS DUSTY'S TYPE 💁

    • @lettersfromhanna
      @lettersfromhanna Před 3 lety +31

      She’s the one who said he is not her typical type

    • @Eduboy22
      @Eduboy22 Před 3 lety +2

      @@lettersfromhanna exactly

    • @toileonard6032
      @toileonard6032 Před 3 lety

      @@lettersfromhanna They are not going to like this man regards!!! They see all the sign that they dont like and you can clearly see that she loves him and that he loves her.

    • @maggieandthesexybeast6766
      @maggieandthesexybeast6766 Před 2 lety +2

      Toi Leonard It's the opposite. Through their body language, you can see she's all in and he is not. She is the placeholder and it is more than obvious.

  • @BaybiieR2k8
    @BaybiieR2k8 Před 3 lety +205

    This reminds me of my last relationship I just got out of, Im about to be 25 and I spent over 2 years fixing a man who then when it came down for me to need him he wasn’t there and had the audacity to act like I’m asking for too much. Never going dusty again and Yanie be keeping me on game.

    • @kwetsephetla3597
      @kwetsephetla3597 Před 3 lety +14

      We're literally the same age, living the same life😥💔

    • @BaybiieR2k8
      @BaybiieR2k8 Před 3 lety +12

      @@kwetsephetla3597 We will get through it girl and make better decisions. We are in control of who we let into our lives and learn from our previous mistakes

    • @SynterraSteen
      @SynterraSteen Před 3 lety +11

      Every mistake is a lesson in disguise. Now you know your worth and you can demand what you deserve 🌻

  • @theeladyj
    @theeladyj Před 3 lety +85

    Im glad the black man actually admitted that she deserved better and not dragged her around. She needs to love herself , she is just like paige

  • @brielle949
    @brielle949 Před 3 lety +96

    And my friends look at my crazy when I say I’m not in the right frame of mind to date. My self esteem has definitely increased over the years but I’m still not in a place where I know I can walk away at the first sign that things are going left once I get my feelings involved. I’m still learning to love my self and I’m okay with that. I feel like women really shouldn’t date until they truly view themselves as the prize.

    • @erikaarnold4780
      @erikaarnold4780 Před rokem

      Hey, hope you are healthy and happy! Would love an update,sister. You seem to have an insight so many other women need. Love is not for the squeamish . We should always take the time we need to heal.❤️✊🏾

  • @AnonVocals
    @AnonVocals Před 3 lety +97

    Crazy thing is if she had kids and he didn’t he probably wouldn’t even look in her direction. The whole relationship looks like a car crash waiting to happen. He needs therapy from what ever he’s been through cause he just looks so dead in the eyes and emotionally detached. She needs to learn to love and appreciate herself and learn that she’s worthy of receiving the love she is so desperately searching for and not settle for less due to her self esteem issues. 2 broken people looking for another person to make them whole.

  • @alliknowis_ao
    @alliknowis_ao Před 3 lety +165

    The original gag is everyone thought he would've said "you're not my typical type" and she actually did. We may need to reevaluate our assumptions...

    • @TheUsername777777
      @TheUsername777777 Před 3 lety +34

      I thought I heard that too. She was listing the ways in which people judge her and said "you're not my typical type, so they say. You having kids, and me not..." It sounds like HE'S not HER type, right?

    • @kayyx2563
      @kayyx2563 Před 3 lety +9

      Yeah I had to rewind it because I never heard him say that

    • @jaelaj.9148
      @jaelaj.9148 Před 3 lety +35

      When you’re insecure and don’t know your worth you typically settle for someone who you typically wouldn’t go for.

    • @alliknowis_ao
      @alliknowis_ao Před 3 lety +1

      @@TheUsername777777 Right!

    • @toileonard6032
      @toileonard6032 Před 3 lety

      People on this post and others on the original video are drawing to their assumptions and is already not liking this man. I dont get how a man with children is not accepted but a woman with children get the pass. I watched this video several times and yes there is a trauma bond between the two but there is a divine reason on why they met and have been in a relationship with each other for 9 months. He know what is expected of him in regards to marriage and other things. Also, she knows what she needs to do when he does not give her that "ring" in the end. I hope their love for each other heals the both of them and their relationship grows because wooahhh the amount of comments that is talking down on them is bad!

  • @shhd2105
    @shhd2105 Před 3 lety +469

    Does she want to struggle??? I’m so confused she’s need to see her self worth and not settle for him.

    • @Lalacandoitall357
      @Lalacandoitall357 Před 3 lety +14

      That's exactly what I'm thinking. Girl don't walk, RUN fast and far

    • @Layla-fr7mf
      @Layla-fr7mf Před 3 lety +17

      And he has children while she is childless with her youth, glowing melanin and all...the dust of it all. Smh 🤦🏽‍♀️ Please someone make her do some self esteem shadow work ASAP

  • @BlkMedusa
    @BlkMedusa Před 3 lety +178

    The epitome of “a man will only do what you allow.” He knows she can do so much better and have her whole life ahead of her, but he’s going to take advantage of her being there.
    She is struggling with her self-worth and feeling like she deserves better. That’s why she is with someone who she has to give so much to. Like she has to work for love to feel like she deserves it.

  • @Thula_Impala96
    @Thula_Impala96 Před 3 lety +105

    She’s this sprung while they only dated for 9 months AND played step mama. 🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️ She’s sees a whole happy meal and prize when looking at that struggle love

  • @theabbychronicles-p
    @theabbychronicles-p Před 3 lety +117

    This honestly reminds me of my last relationship. I left in November but we were together for ten years. I felt like I had to choose me.

    • @Seoulsister5
      @Seoulsister5 Před 3 lety +16

      👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

    • @ashleyhenna6201
      @ashleyhenna6201 Před 3 lety +16

      👏🏽 so happy that you choose YOU, proud of you and I don’t even know you 😊

  • @loulouwaters9050
    @loulouwaters9050 Před 3 lety +173

    These mush mouth men ain’t no good. Don’t know how Yanie understands him😂. Reminds me of Chris’ ol bad built pancake body rolls face azz on MAFS S12.

  • @taylordixon5143
    @taylordixon5143 Před 3 lety +410

    She could be desperate for male attention like most of us let's be honest. And he could be desperate for some one who is vulnerable, which is what what most men like

    • @kenyafromcali
      @kenyafromcali Před 3 lety +4

      🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @wealthygenerational8541
      @wealthygenerational8541 Před 3 lety +41

      im not desperate. Dont say most

    • @Altdisneystudio
      @Altdisneystudio Před 3 lety +35

      Lol not “ us” 😂

    • @taylordixon5143
      @taylordixon5143 Před 3 lety +34

      If u feel this comment doesn't apply to you then don't comment that why I used the word "most" instead of" all."

    • @froyokid
      @froyokid Před 3 lety +61

      @I DON'T LIKE YOU At ALL maybe she’s said most because a lot of women would rather be in dysfunctional relationships than remain single. Let’s be honest.

  • @marishajames3581
    @marishajames3581 Před 3 lety +48

    This was a parasitic symbiotic relationship. He benefited while she did not because now she is dealing with emotional baggage that he can casually disengage from because he prayed on her vulnerabilities. I pray that she doesn’t make a habit of engaging romantic partners like him. She is worthy of a romantic partner that will give her the love she deserves. They both need therapy and have some internal work to do. I’m getting therapy now and it’s been so helpful in helping me change my thought patterns.

  • @AT-bt1cu
    @AT-bt1cu Před 3 lety +52

    Omg this was me untill I turned 20 and found youtube to teach me about these stuff. I'm 22 now and I'll never trauma bond with men

  • @gabkikop6949
    @gabkikop6949 Před 3 lety +74

    I just don't understand the "struggle love". Why would you do that to yourself. Don't date or start relationships with broken people or while you are healing from trauma. Unnecessary hassles that some put their selves up with. 😩

    • @gabkikop6949
      @gabkikop6949 Před 3 lety +14

      @@SuperSouthchick I'm turning 27 in two weeks. Ofcourse, you experience a lot through dating etc... but you also learn from what you see around you... at least I did.

  • @briana_b_
    @briana_b_ Před 3 lety +124

    “Oh God, this is struggle already” 😂😂 I can’t

  • @frogsmith9578
    @frogsmith9578 Před 3 lety +156

    At this point idk anymore. I'm tired if black men disrespecting black women. But I want black kids.😭

    • @librarianrose4472
      @librarianrose4472 Před 3 lety +74

      Adopt, I’m considering especially since I date interracial

    • @frogsmith9578
      @frogsmith9578 Před 3 lety +26

      @@librarianrose4472 I want to find where my african ancestors were taken from and adopt from that place and maybe move there.

    • @sassysid100
      @sassysid100 Před 3 lety +10

      @@frogsmith9578 go to Africa first before adopting. African men depending on the country tend to be very family and marriage oriented

    • @frogsmith9578
      @frogsmith9578 Před 3 lety +5

      @## I want to know where my ancestors were taken from.

    • @submissiveproviderstboth9485
      @submissiveproviderstboth9485 Před 3 lety +9

      Your children will be BLACK no matter who you have them with😎 BLACK WOMAN CARRY TH EVE GENE and WE PRODUCE BLACK CHILDREN!!!

  • @tarahbruno3793
    @tarahbruno3793 Před 3 lety +62

    The minute I saw the name Desmond I started running lol. Every Desmond I know has been a waste of time

    • @savannahhalm
      @savannahhalm Před 3 lety +6

      LOL me too I was thinking the same thing. The Desmond I dated was trashhhhh

    • @taylorstep1413
      @taylorstep1413 Před 3 lety +6

      My mom dated a man with that name for 4 years only to break up and months he got to another women and married they were together for less than a year.

    • @tarahbruno3793
      @tarahbruno3793 Před 3 lety +4

      @@savannahhalm every single one of them I dated 😂

    • @tarahbruno3793
      @tarahbruno3793 Před 3 lety +5

      @@taylorstep1413 there’s just something trash about men with that name.

    • @savannahhalm
      @savannahhalm Před 3 lety +7

      The Desmond I dated was from Sierra Leone very misogynistic and manipulative he texts me every year to see if he can finish the emotional turmoil he put me through 🤣🤣🤣

  • @briannashanelle4858
    @briannashanelle4858 Před 3 lety +48

    I'm really glad you talked about shutting down. I do that with my fiance and have been trying to unlearn it. This explanation makes sense for my childhood too.

  • @alexiagoko9384
    @alexiagoko9384 Před 3 lety +48

    Only watching his face I knew the struggle on the relationship!!! Also how he communicates 🤦🏾‍♀️ I hope she runs away from him!!!

    • @minenhlesithole7597
      @minenhlesithole7597 Před 3 lety +13

      Thought i was the only one did u see his eyes something seems wrong with him .

  • @catiec9108
    @catiec9108 Před 3 lety +92

    I feel like he only tells her stuff that she want to hear.......😭😂 the fact that he had to think about some of the questions

  • @ClaireHaire
    @ClaireHaire Před 3 lety +12

    This is why it's very important that you *believe you are worth more* not just look like it. All I see is beautiful queen who deserves the best but, for him to sit there with *no soul in his eyes* and say that tells me all I need to know. Repeat after me *you are not therapist or rehab center for broken souls*

  • @ammabthedigitallynomadic3385

    90% of reality tv and a lot of what I seen in real life, when there is “ black love” and the girl is this complexion or almost just as dark; The dynamic is almost always the woman “ holding him down” , building him up, saving him from himself, inconveniencing her life, lending him money, compromising her happiness to be with him. I rarely ever see women that dark hypergamous black love relationships. Or at the very least, a black love relationship that doesn’t require for the women to help him get his life together. It’s almost like that is literally the only time the actually are in serious relationships with dark skinned black women.... And these women are so oblivious. They can’t even put 2 and 2 together.

  • @LuLuSprings
    @LuLuSprings Před 3 lety +21

    Psych2go is the place to go to understand a lot about ones self and the human mind. I love your incorporation of that channel! Thank you for this!!

  • @LUX_8
    @LUX_8 Před 3 lety +23

    His eyes 🗣️ VOLUME! Run sis, Run!!!

  • @Lucy-Sparking
    @Lucy-Sparking Před 3 lety +70

    Trauma bonding. I thought people stay together because of either money or love 🧐

  • @hanaviolet8103
    @hanaviolet8103 Před 3 lety +28

    What we aren't going to do is stay with with men that consider you an exception to their preference and being their therapist. But I was happy that in the comment other Black women were saying that she should leave her bf because he was using her to heal himself 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

  • @cookiebabe41111
    @cookiebabe41111 Před 3 lety +29

    I love psych2go vids 💜 I’m 24, I have no intention of dating a man with kids, not just bc I don’t have any/want any, but I know I’m allowed to be selfish at this time in my life and a man with kids never intrigued me. If anything I run😂 Girls please do better for yourselves.

  • @mawnee3000
    @mawnee3000 Před 3 lety +13

    Wow... her smile is magnetic but I definitely get a sadness from her with him.

  • @GalacticIndulgence
    @GalacticIndulgence Před 3 lety +20

    I am also someone who shuts down, but it turns to anger later. I have an easy time disconnecting from people who don't listen to me and it's scary. I'm working on being more vocal and moving forward after I address a concern. This video was a lot.

  • @carolinablue6987
    @carolinablue6987 Před 3 lety +11

    Keven Samuels would tell her that she was dating a quality black man and to step her game up.

    • @carolinablue6987
      @carolinablue6987 Před 3 lety +4

      Team Arsenio we must be thinking about two different guys

  • @morountodunokedara
    @morountodunokedara Před 3 lety +20

    Everyone needs to stay in therapy and pray for discernment to be able to avoid a pending heartbreak due to this , cause thats all its going to lead to 😩😩😩

  • @TryingtofindTamahine
    @TryingtofindTamahine Před 3 lety +14

    These days people don’t really know what love is, we say we love this and that but love goes deeper than just affection we might have for someone or something . Love is respect, honesty, trusting, caring and some much more. These days people say ‘ I love you’ but those 3 words are meaningless if you don’t respect, honour or trust the person you are with. And on top of that, how can you love someone when you don’t even love yourself, you can’t show love if you don’t know how to love. Struggling love really isn’t love, it’s an relationship ( between lovers or family and friends) in which one holds on to someone in order not to feel lonely and as a way to cope with internal trauma.
    “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”
    ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

  • @theoneandonlysymone3353
    @theoneandonlysymone3353 Před 3 lety +17

    I learn so much on this channel then I even learn in school (I’m not a failing student) I’m only 13 and I just love watching commentary it opens my eyes
    (Don’t say I’m too young bc Ik more stuff then my friends would even notice...)

  • @emac1286
    @emac1286 Před 3 lety +18

    Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style is shutting down. Everyone should read the book attachment styles if you have childhood trauma.

    • @lovelylife1896
      @lovelylife1896 Před 3 lety +3

      Drop that link or sum fam ! Cause I definitely know someone that could read it .

  • @FightsRightsAlways
    @FightsRightsAlways Před 3 lety +10

    The whole thing was depressing and sad. Nobody seemed happy, there's no light in their eyes and they don't act like their in love. All he could talk about, was what she had done for him and how she keeps making him better. On the side note, I like how everyone keeps talking about how pretty she is🥰

  • @charcharsaintlaurent9280
    @charcharsaintlaurent9280 Před 3 lety +5

    Yanie how can we help this young lady to see her worth and run away now from this man that is clearly taking advantage of her??!!! He knows full well that he is keeping her along to use her as it serves him. She is literally GORGEOUS and it makes me sad to see young, beautiful, dark skinned black women feel so unloved in this world and get used by these men that have nothing to offer but baggage! 😭😭

  • @Eve05342
    @Eve05342 Před 3 lety +12

    I just ended a three months relationship with a broken man, like 4 hours ago and i knew it from the get go so i'm questionning myself and my caracter a lot. I feel like i will be going to therapy soon.

    • @chanelmapendo3761
      @chanelmapendo3761 Před 2 lety

      The way I'm going through the same thing right now... Ended an almost 4 months relationship with a *heavily* broken man and started therapy as well. 2 months afterwards and it's still a healing process.... Oof.

  • @mashona518
    @mashona518 Před 3 lety +10

    She's the "clean-up woman". She is too young, too gorgeous, too stylish to be dealing with this mess.

  • @imapisces0308
    @imapisces0308 Před 3 lety +11

    I want her to break up with him, go to therapy, be by herself for awhile and then think about getting into a relationship. She has so much she can give and he not it.

  • @internetprincess788
    @internetprincess788 Před 3 lety +4

    Sometimes it's just not sexual toxic relationships that you have to cut off, it can also be platonic toxic relationships as well.

  • @itssilvermadallion
    @itssilvermadallion Před 3 lety +13

    She kept laughing after saying things there are important to her. And he laughed right behind her... I definitely shut down a lot. Trying to work on communication I am. But I’d rather wait to cook off before saying things I don’t mean just off the top of my mouth. 😞♥️

  • @marieghoullzz5206
    @marieghoullzz5206 Před 3 lety +165

    who else watches Yanie while eating ??🥺

  • @Crystal_D
    @Crystal_D Před 3 lety +2

    He said, “You tryna make me cry?”
    He know damn well he was not about to cry.

  • @__kikiadore
    @__kikiadore Před 3 lety +40

    I’m highly triggered. This reminds me of when I was in a relationship with a narcissistic dusty. The trauma 😟

  • @gigib8794
    @gigib8794 Před 3 lety +13

    “Oh god this is struggle already” 😂😂

  • @kilimanjaro5537
    @kilimanjaro5537 Před 3 lety +3

    When he brought up proposing, he didn’t even bring up just proposing because I love you and wanna spend the rest of my life with you. If you can read between the lines, you would hear when he basically just said he’ll propose just because she’ll leave otherwise and because he doesn’t have any other options 🤦🏾‍♀️.

  • @goitseonemzimba401
    @goitseonemzimba401 Před 3 lety +27

    This is a sad video. I saw myself in her. 💔 And I realized I need to let go of someone. 💔🚮😪

  • @vyxenthemua
    @vyxenthemua Před 3 lety +2

    Sadly!!!! This is how my daughter got here. I bonded with a deeply wounded man and we had similiar childhood traumas and held on to the good times and thought we could heal each other. I wish someone would have shook the shit out of me but i got one blessing out of the mess. I know better now and im a proud mommy

  • @MsBrooklyn11232
    @MsBrooklyn11232 Před 3 lety +21

    This is off topic but I have to come in and say Happy Early Birthday to a very brilliant Doctor named Dr. Frances Cress Welsing! Tomorrow is Dr. Frances Cress Welsing's Birthday 3-18-1935!

  • @lol.3460
    @lol.3460 Před 3 lety +11

    When I’m too lazy or shy to ask my dates the serious questions once we get to the chill together phase I just suggest watching Yanie to see what he says😭

  • @FoxQueen13853
    @FoxQueen13853 Před 3 lety +8

    I heard a young black man say if he’s going to date a woman she has to be able to do stuff for him aka give him material things 🤦🏾‍♀️

  • @ElizeNicole101
    @ElizeNicole101 Před 3 lety +6

    So I'm at work and when the trauma video came on, I started to cry cause I saw myself 100%. I have been physically and emotionally abused by this man. He has cheated and betrayed me constantly and I'm still here and I feel like shit. So I'm sitting here looking like an idiot crying at work, but I needed this wake up call.

  • @vanessaknight2862
    @vanessaknight2862 Před 3 lety +1

    What I heard in the beginning when she said " before we got together I was working on myself. I was bettering myself " i feel like she ran into him and she basically accepted him because like she said "he's understanding of her trauma " but this is the thing that keeps dusties around because they are feeding off of that trauma bond. And also when he spoke about a deadline for an engagement lets me know that she does definitely have standards. Not only with herself but with the men that she dates
    And lets not forget that 🗣🗣SHE CARES ABOUT HER APPEARANCE she is so pretty😍😍😍😍😍

  • @agadonk
    @agadonk Před 3 lety +5

    NEVER be with an insecure man. She's signing up for a life of struggle and pain.

  • @YochanaIrie_FineAppleStylez

    Crazy because I have had a few situations like this before and it was obviously because I didn’t learn the first few times, but this is the worst.

  • @OutTheeBushes
    @OutTheeBushes Před 3 lety +62

    This is interesting. 20 what? And 30 what? What is she doing? Honestly to me it looks like she has a lil jealousy towards them kids. Like she wishes he treated her that way...🙄🤔🤷🏾

    • @__kikiadore
      @__kikiadore Před 3 lety +13

      He treats her like the help. Her eagerness to serve keeps him around. That imaginary engagement ring is what he’s using as the dangling carrot.

    • @loveyb3347
      @loveyb3347 Před 3 lety +1

      Yup . I wanted to comment that on the original post as well like she wants love too but she is on the outside.

  • @kylietaylor396
    @kylietaylor396 Před 3 lety +1

    YESSSS the “WHY????” was identical to what I was thinking!! I feel the same way!

  • @Georgeorwell9260
    @Georgeorwell9260 Před 3 lety +6

    She’s mesmerising.. I can’t stop looking at her 😊

  • @izzyguzman7138
    @izzyguzman7138 Před 3 lety +1

    Look ladies yanie tells no lies and she doesn’t need a man to prove her point. I’m literally dealing with this same exact situation and trauma bonding is no joke. That’s the first step into a soul tie. It also doesn’t help when you’re surrounded by nothing but narcissist. God will give you the strength and eyes to keep moving forward. Trust your instincts, they’re there to keep you alive in this world. God bless you all ❤️

  • @PurplePegasus2531
    @PurplePegasus2531 Před 3 lety +2

    Yeah I broke down all the way watching this video. I really needed to hear this. Thank you for posting

  • @soniablount2135
    @soniablount2135 Před 3 lety +3

    I giggled when it started and she said trauma “oh God this is struggle already”
    I watched this last week and said the SAME thing

  • @KB-mn7ht
    @KB-mn7ht Před 3 lety +1

    She's so pretty ❤. I really hope she learns and chooses herself and leaves him alone. They both need to heal and learn self love separately. Been there.
    Sn: Yanie your face expressions be sending me 😂

  • @Uberchick464
    @Uberchick464 Před 3 lety +1

    Yanie is 100% correct. I have been and am starting to try and leave a trauma bond but it's harder when you have a child in the situation. You are tied to them through your kid/s and they take advantage of the issue again and again. I realised I was in a trauma bond too late - I ignored my intuition and red flags thought he still was a good man...he was using me.
    Maybe the young lady wants a form of security and thinks he is it. She is absolutely beautiful, young and such a kind soul - I hope she puts herself first and leaves him - he knows he has a good woman in her, but he has no permission to keep her. She needs to leave...and find and heal herself.

  • @EdoNational
    @EdoNational Před 3 lety +4

    This woman is setting herself up. It's not a skin issue at this point. Dude needs to go. He has too much baggage. This dynamic is toxic.

  • @0331tate
    @0331tate Před 3 lety +9

    He D’ing her down, that’s all I can gather, she look young & fresh, he look wore out but trying his best to keep himself nice looking

  • @bsimone3385
    @bsimone3385 Před 3 lety +1

    I am actually actually going through a process of healing from a relationship like this. This video definitely helped me see a lot of similarities of what there going through that I went through.

  • @DarlingEbony
    @DarlingEbony Před 3 lety +3

    She is a pretty woman. I am a dark-skinned woman. In fact, she and I likely wear the same foundation shades. I know what she has likely has gone through to drag her self esteem down. She is like looking at myself 20 years ago. It took me a while to get self-love. After being ridiculed for for my skin-tone as a child and teenager, in my 20s, I ended up in a relationship with any man who said I was cute. Trauma bonded relationships were my theme songs.

  • @Layla-fr7mf
    @Layla-fr7mf Před 3 lety +2

    When you shut down or want to be in isolation alone in the home it is because you learned that your voice was not important, your parent/s/ family did not listen to you or consider your thoughts as important as other siblings because they may have been “different” from the entire family, you were gaslighted by the family or you were the actual scapegoat of the family so you felt adopted like an “extra” in the family made to take on the family issues because of your empathy, intuition and inner greatness.
    I wish this lovely lady could see her value and do some self esteem shadow work instead of dealing with some man with children while she is childless and young. She needs to RUN

  • @imaginativelyimaan9056
    @imaginativelyimaan9056 Před 3 lety +27

    Early gang 💪🏾

  • @dejareed8849
    @dejareed8849 Před 3 lety +2

    You look gorgeous like always but this hair was everything. But omg your commentary was killing me 😂

  • @SheReekzofGlam
    @SheReekzofGlam Před 3 lety

    All three of the relationships I’ve been in were trauma bonds, I am so grateful to be delivered from this , so grateful beyond words. I am still actively healing which wasn’t always a pretty picture but I am at a wonderful place in life. I know my worth and have so much self-love for myself.

  • @loulouwaters9050
    @loulouwaters9050 Před 3 lety +5

    I got that video as a recommendation. A few minutes in and it was already painful to watch😬. I didn’t finish✌🏾
    (But I’ll watch this since you’re reacting to it Yanie😁💕)

  • @KEESWAY
    @KEESWAY Před 3 lety +3

    That’s definitely a trauma bonded relationship. All of the signs are there. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Great video!! 💖💖

  • @introvertedtaurean6626
    @introvertedtaurean6626 Před 3 lety +4

    I've definitely been in a few trauma bonding relationships. I broke the main one that I kept going back to about 2 and half years ago. I feel like I wasted so many years with him. It's a real problem for sure.

  • @ebonynaomi1085
    @ebonynaomi1085 Před 3 lety +6

    This seem like some dusty struggle love to me. She is a pickmeisha and he has nothing to offer her, but his dust. RUN GIRL......RUN !!!

  • @_Kim_Possible
    @_Kim_Possible Před 3 lety +7

    I was so shocked that the CZcams channel thought this was a good video/story to push!?? Like this shouldn't be promoted. I KNEW it was some BS when the guy was mumbling like WTF why is he so scared to talk. He seems so disengaged with her it is so sad. Compare it to other videos on the channel w/couples both people are engaged and excited.
    And yeah your commentary is on point...a lot of struggle...he low-key told her he could do better...trauma bonding..."another guy would have left" SMH. This is a mess indeed. She might also have insecurity issues bc of her weight + trauma...I think she is gorgeous seems compassionate and could do a lot better

  • @GreatGospel97
    @GreatGospel97 Před 3 lety +7

    This is why I can’t date a parent. I just can’t. Respectfully

  • @summerduskin8298
    @summerduskin8298 Před 3 lety +2

    It’s illegal to be that gorgeous. She’s so beautiful.

  • @winnie6485
    @winnie6485 Před 3 lety +7

    You look amazing! As always ❤️