Cursed at Cracker Barrel: Generally Sus Items in the General Store

So many sus items for sale at the Cracker Barrel General Store! They're cursed, I tell you! I'm gonna give my honest review and find out which item is the most CURSED. Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments, that is if CZcams doesn't automatically shut the comments off because of my age.
Is this trend-surfing? "Cursed" item videos are so hot right now... burn my hand if I touched 'em. Don't hate me. This is how CZcams works, yo.