@irenegrijalvotarres ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'd love to take credit for the idea, but it's one of my roommate's family's favorite snacks. Plus!!! You get calcium and protein when you have it, so it's "health food." Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!
Seeing Caroline get emotional hit me. I just want to hug her. I don’t know her personally but damn it, through following her ai feel like I DO know her 😂 Love you Caroline- you’re a beautiful soul
I always relate so much to these conversations 😅 Especially to what Caroline said abour feeling bad if conversations don't lead to connection. I recently started a very powerful and research-backed special on vulnerability, which the speaker defines as having the courage to enter spaces and conversations in which you cannot control the outcome. I wish I could guarantee a deep connection in every conversation I have, but even if I show up 100% with humor and insight and wisdom and energy... I cannot control it. Ever. But if I continue to keep showing up, that's so brave. I'm not bad or boring or dumb if that connection doesn't happen. I'm brave.
I interpret this as that you feel you don’t deserve unconditional love from others, like you have to work for it. You have to work for their love. You are not enough, not good enough?! Probably something from childhood. Sending you both a hug🤗❤️
this show is everything! thank you ladies for being so vulnerable and real about what goes on inside your head. it's always refreshing to hear that other people are experiencing the same thing as me. DON'T EVER STOP DOING THIS. 💗
Re: social interactions and worth! I know why this usually is! It's taking an inappropriate amount of responsibility for (usually a parent) 's mental health at a young age, either with their serious mental health issues that we can't fix but try to constantly anyway, or on a less serious note for a parent that puts too much weight on our relationship with them, 'neediness' and pressure on us to support their sense of self and worth (can be hidden if they are nice parents). As kids we see ourselves simply as good or bad and that is directly reflective of how our parents are doing emotionally. If they are feeling bad or need us and we aren't there for them or make them feel better, we are BAD people, if they are doing well and ok on their own, we are GOOD people, we take direct responsibility for them because it is built in us to survive, it's natural. We need to learn to cut cords healthfully with them and it will feel like we are almost dying ourselves, not easy, because of the survival mechanism thing. I did it with my Mom my whole life, who had mental health issues and I loved her and worried for her constantly, which is not health for a kid to take on. Fun :)
I just wanted to give Caroline a hug when she was getting emotional. I don't personally struggle with this but i have some family members who obviously do and is always makes me sad when I can tell they don't feel like they can come to an interaction and just relax and be present rather than providing entertainment or something else to prove their value. As their friend I desperately want to show them that they're enough and to get to a place where they can be at peace in these interactions and I can only imagine your friends feel the same way watching this. So much love ❤️
Sooooo … you’re describing codependency (more so than performance anxiety or abandonment) and Caroline I adore how you can speak on these issues with depth compassion wisdom and intelligence as well as humility. And your love and care for Jess is heartwarming …. And I remember that apples were once waxy perhaps as a way to repel insects so you would rub the coating off. Pesticides were less the way to go maybe?
I can relate so much with this. I cannot trust anyone will care about me if I don't provide any value to them. Being abandoned by parents, I am so afraid to ask any favor from anyone, plus being the big sister I have to toughen up, no one ever asks if I am ok. Even my best friend, since I moved country, always it's me asking how she is and she never asks me, I ended up giving up asking and we haven't talked in months. I have learnt to back off as it seems we are expecting differently from this friendship. Honestly it hurts quite bad have to put this out somewhere.
I resonated so hard with what Caroline brought up about feeling “bad” and judging how good or bad you are based on the quality/quantity of your social interactions. I had this realization months ago and like she said its another thing on my list of things that i have to monitor because it can destroy me. For me I feel bad if i dont have enough interactions as well. I feel like i have to try so hard in this area of my life and it can be really difficult to navigate. I hate how attached i am to things that may come so easy for others. It really made me feel seen and understood when you brought this up 😭😭 love this show! ❤
Thank you so much for the vulnerability. This has been my favourite episode so far, and I'll probably listen to it again a couple times. Even though the main topic is different, I feel like just hearing you two talk to each other so supportively and being so open is helping me process some stuff going on in my own life. ❤
First of all, I love you guys and can relate. I’m coming to this particular show late so I’m hoping that your mindsets are shifting….but if you do read this and still feel the same-ish, it’s so simple sounding but BE KIND TO YOURSELF. I want to preface that this is coming from someone who questions everything… second guesses everything I said, and hearing what I said and how they reacted on loop after the interaction or hang out. Mind you I try to remind myself of this constantly… but forgive yourself bc being so perfectly on point all the time is just draining and you don’t have time for that. That’s why I too tend to not even want to go out. No matter what social anxiety, abandonment, or OCD issues we may have, remember to be kind to yourself (the way you would be kind to a friend.) Be your own friend. Because at the end of the day, your true friends will stick around no matter what. They don’t come for the show only. You two are NATURAL performers, and it’s deep rooted. I’m a decade older and am realizing that there’s a natural filtration that comes with age and not having enough time to take care of everyone or everything includes weeding out those who are long term friends and even someone you meet randomly who only comes for “the show”, who are disappointed if they didn’t get it or if you changed, and who suck up all your energy. Stick with who appreciates all the other sides of you, it’s way easier in the end, and work on building those relationships even more and work on being alone more and working on yourself. As you get older, you get tired and just don’t care about hand-holding those certain people. Like your dad, Fuck ‘em. It’s their loss, ya know.
@Not4EveryonePod I will make both happen. You ladies are delightful and heaven knows, I've listened to your podcasts more than once, even before CZcams became an option. Sending best wishes and utmost appreciation to you both. ❤️
I relate to what you both said about your feelings being really related to social interaction. Here's what I have learned about myself: It's related to my ADHD, and anxiety, being the middle child, and from a family where other people had really big needs, so I had to be "ok." I call it people pleasing-I want to be liked to feel a sense of social safety. To combat it, I try to fill the psychological need myself. Or reach out to a friend.
I feel so heard when I listen to you two talk ❤️ also I have a weird turn on that I need to share immediately: first of all I very much relate to the whole long sleeve thing (so hot) but if the guy puts his sunglasses up in his hair to look at his phone or something I AM DONE I need to know if literally any one gets this
HARD relate. When I saw the title I was like lol I don't get that with my friends. And then you spoke about it and... oh dear. Another thing for me is when people say "you're on good form today!" and I'm like oh shit how do I maintain this level? Are they just tolerating me the rest of the time?
I soo relate to morally judging yourself after social interactions. I've noticed that since the pandemic, a lot of times after a social interaction with someone who isn’t a best friend, like a coworker or new friend, I start grading myself on how it went…?? But I didn't use to do that. Y'all seriously say so many things I resonate with...no other podcast is this relatable for me. Maybe bc we're the same age. Also, I'm picturing Aladdin rubbing an apple on his vest.
Hey there :) I totally respect that you don’t like how we speak. I’m wondering if next time you might find a different way to express that. We made this place for people to relax, explore and be joyful. I believe you can help uphold that for everyone else here. You’re welcome to support that if it interests you, or perhaps there are other podcasts you’d prefer more. No offense will be taken.
@@Not4EveryonePod You're right. I should have expressed myself differently. I apologize. Just think 2 young intelligent women could find a better "filler" word. I'll keep my opinions to myself from now on.
I have totally had that thought and feeling my whole life and never heard anyone say it. I just try to remember we can't be max all the time and things will work out but no you are not a bad person Caroline.
As a Polish person who had ate cottage cheese every other day thoughout childhood and adolestence, listening to a rant on cottage cheese is just so abstract :D Did America just discovered it?? :D By the way: best way to eat cottage cheese is with finely chopped radishes and chives, salt, pepper and some sour cream mixed together, sour bread on side. Don't thank me, just try it ;P
Fruit with cottage cheese is disgusting. You have to just...salt and pepper is the only thing that should go on cottage cheese. Maybe I need to examine this because I haven't attached any of my self worth to social interactions. I notice when something is off. I know when I haven't showed up fully and when I have, but I have somehow managed to not attach any of my self worth to it. Now my partner does. He has absolutely attached the concept of his personal value to his social interactions. I don't know but I've never felt like I've had to be a performer in my friend relationships. Others in my friend group have had to put distance between themselves and their friends because they have put all of their personal value on their social interactions. And I'm a people pleaser, so I wonder if maybe I am not as present in these interactions as I could be.
@Not for Everyone Podcast You're right. I should have expressed myself differently. I apologize. Just think 2 young intelligent women could find a better "filler" word. I'll keep my opinions to myself from now on.
I don’t remember anyone ever just eating cottage cheese by itself. Putting fruit and crap on cottage cheese is definitely not anything new. I’ve never eaten cottage cheese, but when I was in high school (for reference I’m 34), my friends would get some of that nasty salad bar cottage cheese and put pineapples or peaches on it. I don’t think it’s edible, otherwise.
I thought I had replied back to this comment before, but guess it never posted. But I was proven wrong about this not being anything new - I read an article that was talking about cottage cheese making a comeback and being trendy, so I guess there has been a cottage cheese agenda lately.
The cottage cheese mouvement is OLD and I'm sick of it hahahahah I'm 27 years old and back in High School (12 to 16) some girls were eating it RAW!! EW!! to lose weight?!?! 😂😂😂
Don't mind me while I eat tablespoons of cottage cheese straight out of the container, making direct eye contact the entire time
It's soooooo good!
SIDE EYE 😂😂😂
Also good with Fritos. But seriously, it's just good on its own. 😁
@@lisamckay5058 FRITOS! You are a genius
@irenegrijalvotarres ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'd love to take credit for the idea, but it's one of my roommate's family's favorite snacks. Plus!!! You get calcium and protein when you have it, so it's "health food." Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!
"If they don't get it, f*ck 'em!"
My new credo.
❤
Seeing Caroline get emotional hit me. I just want to hug her. I don’t know her personally but damn it, through following her ai feel like I DO know her 😂 Love you Caroline- you’re a beautiful soul
I feel your hug friend ❤
I always relate so much to these conversations 😅 Especially to what Caroline said abour feeling bad if conversations don't lead to connection. I recently started a very powerful and research-backed special on vulnerability, which the speaker defines as having the courage to enter spaces and conversations in which you cannot control the outcome. I wish I could guarantee a deep connection in every conversation I have, but even if I show up 100% with humor and insight and wisdom and energy... I cannot control it. Ever. But if I continue to keep showing up, that's so brave. I'm not bad or boring or dumb if that connection doesn't happen. I'm brave.
@Lindsay Morrison can you please share the special on vulnerability? this hits deep!
Just want to say how powerful this definition of vulnerability is. Truly the relinquishing of control. Thank u for sharing this ❤
I interpret this as that you feel you don’t deserve unconditional love from others, like you have to work for it. You have to work for their love. You are not enough, not good enough?! Probably something from childhood. Sending you both a hug🤗❤️
this show is everything! thank you ladies for being so vulnerable and real about what goes on inside your head. it's always refreshing to hear that other people are experiencing the same thing as me. DON'T EVER STOP DOING THIS. 💗
Thursdays my new fav day of the week thanks to these 2 weirdos who don't know me ✌️ what up babes
Re: social interactions and worth! I know why this usually is! It's taking an inappropriate amount of responsibility for (usually a parent) 's mental health at a young age, either with their serious mental health issues that we can't fix but try to constantly anyway, or on a less serious note for a parent that puts too much weight on our relationship with them, 'neediness' and pressure on us to support their sense of self and worth (can be hidden if they are nice parents). As kids we see ourselves simply as good or bad and that is directly reflective of how our parents are doing emotionally. If they are feeling bad or need us and we aren't there for them or make them feel better, we are BAD people, if they are doing well and ok on their own, we are GOOD people, we take direct responsibility for them because it is built in us to survive, it's natural. We need to learn to cut cords healthfully with them and it will feel like we are almost dying ourselves, not easy, because of the survival mechanism thing. I did it with my Mom my whole life, who had mental health issues and I loved her and worried for her constantly, which is not health for a kid to take on. Fun :)
A hundred percent, codependency !
@@savanahmuses you got it!
I just wanted to give Caroline a hug when she was getting emotional. I don't personally struggle with this but i have some family members who obviously do and is always makes me sad when I can tell they don't feel like they can come to an interaction and just relax and be present rather than providing entertainment or something else to prove their value. As their friend I desperately want to show them that they're enough and to get to a place where they can be at peace in these interactions and I can only imagine your friends feel the same way watching this. So much love ❤️
Sooooo … you’re describing codependency (more so than performance anxiety or abandonment) and Caroline I adore how you can speak on these issues with depth compassion wisdom and intelligence as well as humility. And your love and care for Jess is heartwarming …. And I remember that apples were once waxy perhaps as a way to repel insects so you would rub the coating off. Pesticides were less the way to go maybe?
I can relate so much with this. I cannot trust anyone will care about me if I don't provide any value to them. Being abandoned by parents, I am so afraid to ask any favor from anyone, plus being the big sister I have to toughen up, no one ever asks if I am ok. Even my best friend, since I moved country, always it's me asking how she is and she never asks me, I ended up giving up asking and we haven't talked in months. I have learnt to back off as it seems we are expecting differently from this friendship. Honestly it hurts quite bad have to put this out somewhere.
I resonated so hard with what Caroline brought up about feeling “bad” and judging how good or bad you are based on the quality/quantity of your social interactions. I had this realization months ago and like she said its another thing on my list of things that i have to monitor because it can destroy me. For me I feel bad if i dont have enough interactions as well. I feel like i have to try so hard in this area of my life and it can be really difficult to navigate. I hate how attached i am to things that may come so easy for others. It really made me feel seen and understood when you brought this up 😭😭 love this show! ❤
When Caroline was tearing up and Jess said “I wish I could be next to you” I lost it. What a gift to have friendship like this. ❤
Thank you so much for the vulnerability. This has been my favourite episode so far, and I'll probably listen to it again a couple times. Even though the main topic is different, I feel like just hearing you two talk to each other so supportively and being so open is helping me process some stuff going on in my own life. ❤
First of all, I love you guys and can relate. I’m coming to this particular show late so I’m hoping that your mindsets are shifting….but if you do read this and still feel the same-ish, it’s so simple sounding but BE KIND TO YOURSELF. I want to preface that this is coming from someone who questions everything… second guesses everything I said, and hearing what I said and how they reacted on loop after the interaction or hang out. Mind you I try to remind myself of this constantly… but forgive yourself bc being so perfectly on point all the time is just draining and you don’t have time for that. That’s why I too tend to not even want to go out. No matter what social anxiety, abandonment, or OCD issues we may have, remember to be kind to yourself (the way you would be kind to a friend.) Be your own friend.
Because at the end of the day, your true friends will stick around no matter what. They don’t come for the show only. You two are NATURAL performers, and it’s deep rooted. I’m a decade older and am realizing that there’s a natural filtration that comes with age and not having enough time to take care of everyone or everything includes weeding out those who are long term friends and even someone you meet randomly who only comes for “the show”, who are disappointed if they didn’t get it or if you changed, and who suck up all your energy. Stick with who appreciates all the other sides of you, it’s way easier in the end, and work on building those relationships even more and work on being alone more and working on yourself. As you get older, you get tired and just don’t care about hand-holding those certain people. Like your dad, Fuck ‘em.
It’s their loss, ya know.
I’m always dancing so hard to your theme music. Such a frickin bop 👩🍳🤌
Hey, does watching your podcast on CZcams benefit you more than on the podcast app? Should i just do both? 😉
Well aren’t you just a sweet kook for asking. Both never hurt anybody?! Podcast app is primary right now but we of course want to grow here 💜🧡
@Not4EveryonePod I will make both happen. You ladies are delightful and heaven knows, I've listened to your podcasts more than once, even before CZcams became an option.
Sending best wishes and utmost appreciation to you both. ❤️
I relate to what you both said about your feelings being really related to social interaction. Here's what I have learned about myself:
It's related to my ADHD, and anxiety, being the middle child, and from a family where other people had really big needs, so I had to be "ok."
I call it people pleasing-I want to be liked to feel a sense of social safety. To combat it, I try to fill the psychological need myself. Or reach out to a friend.
I feel so heard when I listen to you two talk ❤️ also I have a weird turn on that I need to share immediately: first of all I very much relate to the whole long sleeve thing (so hot) but if the guy puts his sunglasses up in his hair to look at his phone or something I AM DONE
I need to know if literally any one gets this
Hahahahahahah this made me laugh out loud
If you DARE put your sunglasses up to read I am FUCKED
A man once did this and then cooked me a healthy meal after he has worked all day and I've never recovered, still in love with him
Jesus he sounds to good to be true
This podcast reminds me of the cool kids table that i wish i could sit at in highschool
HARD relate. When I saw the title I was like lol I don't get that with my friends. And then you spoke about it and... oh dear. Another thing for me is when people say "you're on good form today!" and I'm like oh shit how do I maintain this level? Are they just tolerating me the rest of the time?
I soo relate to morally judging yourself after social interactions. I've noticed that since the pandemic, a lot of times after a social interaction with someone who isn’t a best friend, like a coworker or new friend, I start grading myself on how it went…?? But I didn't use to do that.
Y'all seriously say so many things I resonate with...no other podcast is this relatable for me. Maybe bc we're the same age.
Also, I'm picturing Aladdin rubbing an apple on his vest.
I have cottage cheese with honey for breakfast almost every day. Jess is right, you have to dress it up, usually with something sweet.
Are you just out here raw dogging cottage cheese?!? Hhahaha
Jess!! I also used to sell my drawings in elementary school 😅. They were of Diddle characters. And people (my classmates) would buy em! 😂
not rotten - Caroline!
Like, like, like, like, like ... Enough already! An inherent value - I think not.
Hey there :) I totally respect that you don’t like how we speak. I’m wondering if next time you might find a different way to express that. We made this place for people to relax, explore and be joyful. I believe you can help uphold that for everyone else here. You’re welcome to support that if it interests you, or perhaps there are other podcasts you’d prefer more. No offense will be taken.
@@Not4EveryonePod You're right. I should have expressed myself differently. I apologize. Just think 2 young intelligent women could find a better "filler" word. I'll keep my opinions to myself from now on.
I have totally had that thought and feeling my whole life and never heard anyone say it. I just try to remember we can't be max all the time and things will work out but no you are not a bad person Caroline.
As a Polish person who had ate cottage cheese every other day thoughout childhood and adolestence, listening to a rant on cottage cheese is just so abstract :D Did America just discovered it?? :D By the way: best way to eat cottage cheese is with finely chopped radishes and chives, salt, pepper and some sour cream mixed together, sour bread on side. Don't thank me, just try it ;P
Fruit with cottage cheese is disgusting. You have to just...salt and pepper is the only thing that should go on cottage cheese.
Maybe I need to examine this because I haven't attached any of my self worth to social interactions. I notice when something is off. I know when I haven't showed up fully and when I have, but I have somehow managed to not attach any of my self worth to it. Now my partner does. He has absolutely attached the concept of his personal value to his social interactions. I don't know but I've never felt like I've had to be a performer in my friend relationships. Others in my friend group have had to put distance between themselves and their friends because they have put all of their personal value on their social interactions. And I'm a people pleaser, so I wonder if maybe I am not as present in these interactions as I could be.
Rubbing the apple gets the wax off vs just water wouldnt
I love plain cottage cheese.
My favorite podcast ❤❤❤
I love to eat cottage cheese as it is. Maybe add something salty like Doritos :)
“Burp!” 🤣
girl mix good culture cottage with trader joe's cheese powder. its amazing
I wish I could be best friends with you two ❤❤
@Not for Everyone Podcast You're right. I should have expressed myself differently. I apologize. Just think 2 young intelligent women could find a better "filler" word. I'll keep my opinions to myself from now on.
🤗
I don’t remember anyone ever just eating cottage cheese by itself. Putting fruit and crap on cottage cheese is definitely not anything new. I’ve never eaten cottage cheese, but when I was in high school (for reference I’m 34), my friends would get some of that nasty salad bar cottage cheese and put pineapples or peaches on it. I don’t think it’s edible, otherwise.
I thought I had replied back to this comment before, but guess it never posted. But I was proven wrong about this not being anything new - I read an article that was talking about cottage cheese making a comeback and being trendy, so I guess there has been a cottage cheese agenda lately.
Can u please tell me why Caroline's mic looks as big as her head...(and her outfit is a perfect match for it) 😂😊
Hahah my mic is just much closer to the camera so it looks giant. I have to set it really far away from me bc I yell so often
@Not for Everyone Podcast U do yell, lol
The cottage cheese mouvement is OLD and I'm sick of it hahahahah I'm 27 years old and back in High School (12 to 16) some girls were eating it RAW!! EW!! to lose weight?!?! 😂😂😂